Why Men Love Blowjobs?

Why Men Love Blowjobs

Seriously… Why Do Men Really Love Blowjobs?

This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way. My aim is to help women become better women, and part of this is helping women understand more about men, what men want and why they want it.

Despite this being a sensitive topic, I hope we can all approach it with a little light-heartedness and let us remember that oral sex has been around for many, many years. I am also not condoning promiscuity, nor telling women they have to give their man oral sex. Ultimately, this is the woman’s personal choice.

My message is not for promiscuity or casual sex; I do not condone this. I condone healthy, strong committed and passionate relationships where each party does not reject the sexual essence of the other, and they each understand how the masculine and feminine energies operate. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Just as men sometimes have difficulty understanding why women are such emotional creatures, and don’t know how to deal with our ‘ocean of emotion’, a lot of women have trouble understanding the reason behind men wanting sex/blow-jobs, and put a man’s interest in sex down to the fact that they’re pigs, or that that’s ‘all they care about’, that that is all they want, and think they’re self-serving creatures who want it just because it feels good.

It is also widely known that the male and female sex drive are hard to reconcile. Women sometimes have a lot of trouble opening up to their men, and put it down to the fact that they ‘just don’t feel like it’. This is fair enough, women have crazy hormonal cycles, and find it hard to make time to focus on sex sometimes. We all know sex is extremely important to most men, but we don’t all really know truly why this is the case.

In fact, if you want a man to totally and completely commit to you, then this type of sexual intimacy is going to increase the likelihood of that happening to you.

If we can all have a bit more understanding and appreciation for the male sex, this will make it a much smoother ride for all of us, and we’ll be able to experience more freedom in our intimate relationships, once we truly understand and honor the differences between the sexes, and respect and understand what fills them up rather than fear and reject a man’s need for sex.

Dispelling the Myths

No, it’s not JUST because it feels good. Although, this is definitely a part of why men love oral sex so much, too. At first instance, most women think that men love it because they don’t have to do anything themselves, and can just sit back wait for the woman to do all the work. Without being crass, as this is not my intention, if it was because they don’t have to do anything themselves, then why don’t men get their pet dog to do it for them? (read my article about why you shouldn’t deprive your man of sex)

Indeed, if you ask a man why he wants oral sex so much, he probably won’t always be able to articulate exactly why he does. Men aren’t always as good as women are at decoding and expressing their own feelings and needs. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

To put it simply, and generally, the basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it is one of the ultimate feminine acts of love. Let me explain why below.

An Act of Submission

The first reason is submission. In order for you to give your man oral sex, you have to be vulnerable to him, and you have to submit to him. This is one quick way for a man to feel more like a man;  having a woman give him oral sex.

The visual aspect of submission is also a factor. For example, if a woman kneels before a man, this indicates that she is completely submitting to him, and giving him power/letting him dominate.

Of course, the act of giving a man a blow job is a feminine act (if she cares about him), as a woman has to (at least to large extent)  be in her feminine (although not always, as some women are closed when they do it, and do it out of obligation) in order to actually give him oral sex. It is possible to shut down and remove yourself from the experience and not be fully present with your man when you are doing it. (read my article about how to be submissive for love)

A Symbol of Vulnerability

In order to give a man oral sex, a woman has to be vulnerable to him. In fact, she has to open to him and be comfortable with being vulnerable to him. Of course, some women engage in oral sex out of obligation, or feel that they have to in order to please their man, so they do it.

In other words, their heart is not in it. If a woman’s heart is not in it, and she’s doing it on autopilot, then she is not fully vulnerable to him, and the man will sense this, although he will most likely not want to accept that she is doing it out of obligation.

The concept of vulnerability goes hand-in-hand with the idea of trust. The masculine energy/men has a real need to be trusted. And of course, if you are comfortable being fully vulnerable to him, then this indicates that you are trusting of him.

Admiration

Another reason is that the act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration for the man. Without being rude or unnecessarily graphic, a man’s penis is as close to the heart of his manhood as you can get. Men subconsciously or consciously see it as part of what makes them a man. If a woman rejects this part of him, it leads him to think that she is not attracted to him, or that she doesn’t love him.

Perceived Love

Women often perceive love in different things than what men do (obviously). A woman may perceive love in a man taking the time to listen to her, buy her gifts, take her out, commit to her, protect her, talk to her, put her first, hug her, caress her, call her, write her letters, making the first move, being the rock and the leader in the relationship, complimenting her, etc.

Whilst many of these things are important to men too, men also perceive great love in being given oral sex and having sex in general. They are not so much talkers like women are, and perceive that a woman loves him if she does have sex with him regularly. (Not always – but I’m not condoning casual sex here – I’m referring to those in a relationship).

There are many ways to express love. In this respect, men speak a different language of love, and it is no use telling a man you love him, and admire him (which is always fantastic, by the way!) if you will not open up to him sexually. If a man loves a woman, he craves for her to be open to him/accept him, not only sexually, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. (read my article about how to respect a man)

The important thing to take out of this point is that by giving your man oral sex, you are giving him love in the way that he understands it and can receive it. In order to truly give to someone, you have to understand how they perceive love, and being taken care of. It’s the same in an intimate relationship.

Although you may not always perceive love in being given oral sex by him (at least not as much as he perceives love in being given oral sex), he perceives love.This is sometimes very difficult for women to relate to, which is why I am writing this post. It’s very easy for a woman to consider a man insensitive, sleazy or selfish if he is regularly asking for sex.

And, it is often that women exclaim in confusion: ‘Why is it all about the sex?!!” It isn’t. It’s about how men perceive love, acceptance and admiration.

For many years now, men have been encouraged to reject the ‘ungentlemanly’ side of themselves which breaks the rules, and wants to engage in passionate sex with a woman.

A lot of men are afraid to ‘hurt’ their woman, and fear asking for sex, for fear of rejection.

This leads to a painful contradiction for a man. He fears rejection if he asks, yet he feels rejection anyway, when you don’t want to have sex with him. To a man, if a woman wants to have sex with him regularly, it means she loves him and is attracted to him. It’s important women understand that the masculine energy perceives importance and significance in a woman being very sexually attracted to him.

A Sense of Connection

We have already established that men don’t talk as much as women do in order to connect with other human beings. But why do men perceive so much connection in sex? The reason is because – men don’t generally communicate to other men the way women communicate with other women (and men). It’s hard for a man to go to his guy friends to talk, to connect and to feel loved.

The masculine energy is all about getting things done, moving on to the next challenge, putting an end to things – and letting go. The feminine energy doesn’t let go, it holds on. This holding on entails the emotional side of things. We are much more emotional creatures, and simply don’t need sex to feel regularly connected to other human beings. (Not that men cannot connect with others through talking too).

The difference is that men do. This is one of the primary ways in which men can feel connected to, and loved by their woman.

Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of giving their man a blow-job, because they dislike being vulnerable (not that they consciously use these words).

They hate being asked for it, and they unfortunately start to make their man feel bad about his need for sex, and because the man loves the woman, he slowly rejects the intensely sexual part of himself in order to feel more loved and accepted by her, and in order not to ‘hurt’ her.

The reality is that the masculine energy is very much driven by sex. This doesn’t have to mean that men always just want to have sex, no, no! Sexual energy can be used in many other ways to benefit an intimate relationship.

Living in your Feminine

To put it very simply, if a woman lives mainly in her feminine, and appreciates and chooses to understand rather than reject the masculine energy – she will have no trouble understanding and even appreciating, loving and enjoying the fact that her man gets a lot of his needs met through sex.

It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you understand this. As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be.

Do you want to understand men more? Click here to get our popular program Understanding Men.

What do You think about this topic? Do you agree?

Read this no-nonsense article on giving a man oral sex.

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Why Men Love Blowjobs?
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Are you curious why men love blowjobs? Read why!
  • Lynn

    Actually, the man is the vulnerable one regardless of the position the woman is in. After all, his favorite and most important part of himself is in her mouth. Desire is all about vulnerability and submission no matter how you look at it. I’m orally inclined and feel poweful but also know that I’m submitting to my desire to get my man off. No shame in my game.

  • Satish Gupta

    Thanks for the true and scientific approach to such topic. They are regarded taboo too in some cultures. Personally I wish I could get it at least once. Lol.

  • Red

    Thank you, thank you!!! I’ve just read your articles about a mans need for sex in order to feel loved. Reading these will have most likely saved my marriage! I’ve been married for 14 years and my husband always wants sex. Of course my libido is no were near where his is and I don’t want sex on a regular basis. This is a huge problem in our marriage. I thought that he wasn’t normal for always wanting so much sex but obviously this isn’t true. He is NORMAL and just wants to feel loved by having so much sex!!! Reading your stuff makes so much sense to me now. Thank you again!!!!!! Wow, what a relief. I thought our marriage was in big trouble but I guess I’ll just give more sex and see what happens in return. I’m hoping the benefits are what you describe and our marriage will be saved.

  • Soren Thygesen

    May I say as a man, that I could not disagree more with you. You obviously did not get it at all. The author has some brilliant points about what is important for a man when it comes to feeling loved. I recognize myself in a lot of this. To “fucking deal with it” is as immature and unconstructive an end comment as I would expect to the rest of your rambling post. No, she has got it pretty much right. I agree with 90-some percent of what she writes here.
    Btw. I didn’t see any suggestions in the article that it would be okay for a man not to return the favor. That must be in your preconceived mind.

  • Chokor Chaddi

    We all know oral sex is much much more fun than a traditional one. But what if she doesn’t want to give you a head?
    What if you are doing something terribly wrong which is making her feel reluctant?
    Well, don’t worry! Just follow the link and find out the solution of your problem. http:// getblowjobs. info/

    • Stephanie Stevens

      I’d avoid the term “giving head”. It makes it sound like the woman is giving up something rather than sharing in an act of love. The term, alone, can make a woman reluctant. It’s a sensual kiss.

  • David

    I’m a 46 male, been married for 20 years and to be honest I’m just pleased with the peace and quiet for 20 minutes 😉

  • Latina MD

    Your theory suggests that women should perform fallatio, but that men do not have to reciprocate with cunnilingus. The act is flat out unfair because many, if not all, women enjoy clitoral stimulation more than a penis in their vagina. In a relationship where men and women have equality, how is honoring what men want, without men honoring what women want, okay? I know it is important for a man to have and feel power (this is also true for women – and that is okay too), but this also sets the stage for other areas in the relationship- he will have dominant tendencies. Besides, how is being physically and emotionally submissive consistent with feminism?

    • Soren Thygesen

      Where does it suggest that men do not have to return the favor? I read it twice but found no such thing.

    • Viki Samoja

      Personally, i absoluly love giving a woman oral sex, it can be greatly empowering for a man to have a woman give herself over to him, he gats to psh her buttons and bring her to orgasm, IDK why giving women oral sex is such a stigma on men but you must remember to do it in a feminine,not masculine way.

  • Sue Wardle

    I Googled “what men loved in bed” and it said blowjobs so i researched how to give a good bj and started doing it to my partner (after being together 9 months) he loves it and i enjoy giving and its unbelieveable how he has changed towards me! He worships me! I give him one as often as possible and i cannot believe how devoted to me he is now! Renee was right about if you want him to commit to you, the last 5 months have been amazing!

  • Jb

    I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give me oral sex, it’s to important. However I understand it goes both ways and I love to give. An orgasm through oral can be 100 times better than one through regular sex, why deny that.

    • Jessica

      I feel you Jb. I actually kicked a guy out of my room for asking me to give him oral but wouldn’t give it in return. Fair is fair. You want the knob slobbed, eat that honeypot (lol). Don’t ask for pleasure if you won’t give it in return. I’m glad you understand that it goes both ways, YAY!

      • Wyatt Anderson

        I always hear about dudes not returning the favor, and I immediately think to myself, ‘Who in seven hells does that!?’ Oral or no oral, it’s a two way street. Not once in my life have I known first hand or heard second or even third hand about that type of thing happening in person, so I kept relegating the selfish blowjob dudes as an urban legend or something. Evidently not.

        • Jessica

          I wish it was an urban legend. These types of guys really do exist and wonder why they have “desert d***k.”

          • Viki Samoja

            I would have to conclude this guys are lower inteligence, i looked over the web and most guys seem overjoyed to give oral, but then again, internet is a congregation of smart people, it’s kinda like high IQ club, geek culture (of a sort) so it ay be skewed.