Why Men Love Blowjobs?

Why Men Love Blowjobs

Seriously… Why Do Men Really Love Blowjobs?

This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way. My aim is to help women become better women, and part of this is helping women understand more about men, what men want and why they want it.

Despite this being a sensitive topic, I hope we can all approach it with a little light-heartedness and let us remember that oral sex has been around for many, many years. I am also not condoning promiscuity, nor telling women they have to give their man oral sex. Ultimately, this is the woman’s personal choice.

My message is not for promiscuity or casual sex; I do not condone this. I condone healthy, strong committed and passionate relationships where each party does not reject the sexual essence of the other, and they each understand how the masculine and feminine energies operate. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Just as men sometimes have difficulty understanding why women are such emotional creatures, and don’t know how to deal with our ‘ocean of emotion’, a lot of women have trouble understanding the reason behind men wanting sex/blow-jobs, and put a man’s interest in sex down to the fact that they’re pigs, or that that’s ‘all they care about’, that that is all they want, and think they’re self-serving creatures who want it just because it feels good.

It is also widely known that the male and female sex drive are hard to reconcile. Women sometimes have a lot of trouble opening up to their men, and put it down to the fact that they ‘just don’t feel like it’. This is fair enough, women have crazy hormonal cycles, and find it hard to make time to focus on sex sometimes. We all know sex is extremely important to most men, but we don’t all really know truly why this is the case.

In fact, if you want a man to totally and completely commit to you, then this type of sexual intimacy is going to increase the likelihood of that happening to you.

If we can all have a bit more understanding and appreciation for the male sex, this will make it a much smoother ride for all of us, and we’ll be able to experience more freedom in our intimate relationships, once we truly understand and honor the differences between the sexes, and respect and understand what fills them up rather than fear and reject a man’s need for sex.

Dispelling the Myths

No, it’s not JUST because it feels good. Although, this is definitely a part of why men love oral sex so much, too. At first instance, most women think that men love it because they don’t have to do anything themselves, and can just sit back wait for the woman to do all the work. Without being crass, as this is not my intention, if it was because they don’t have to do anything themselves, then why don’t men get their pet dog to do it for them? (read my article about why you shouldn’t deprive your man of sex)

Indeed, if you ask a man why he wants oral sex so much, he probably won’t always be able to articulate exactly why he does. Men aren’t always as good as women are at decoding and expressing their own feelings and needs. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

To put it simply, and generally, the basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it is one of the ultimate feminine acts of love. Let me explain why below.

An Act of Submission

The first reason is submission. In order for you to give your man oral sex, you have to be vulnerable to him, and you have to submit to him. This is one quick way for a man to feel more like a man;  having a woman give him oral sex.

The visual aspect of submission is also a factor. For example, if a woman kneels before a man, this indicates that she is completely submitting to him, and giving him power/letting him dominate.

Of course, the act of giving a man a blow job is a feminine act (if she cares about him), as a woman has to (at least to large extent)  be in her feminine (although not always, as some women are closed when they do it, and do it out of obligation) in order to actually give him oral sex. It is possible to shut down and remove yourself from the experience and not be fully present with your man when you are doing it. (read my article about how to be submissive for love)

A Symbol of Vulnerability

In order to give a man oral sex, a woman has to be vulnerable to him. In fact, she has to open to him and be comfortable with being vulnerable to him. Of course, some women engage in oral sex out of obligation, or feel that they have to in order to please their man, so they do it.

In other words, their heart is not in it. If a woman’s heart is not in it, and she’s doing it on autopilot, then she is not fully vulnerable to him, and the man will sense this, although he will most likely not want to accept that she is doing it out of obligation.

The concept of vulnerability goes hand-in-hand with the idea of trust. The masculine energy/men has a real need to be trusted. And of course, if you are comfortable being fully vulnerable to him, then this indicates that you are trusting of him.

Admiration

Another reason is that the act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration for the man. Without being rude or unnecessarily graphic, a man’s penis is as close to the heart of his manhood as you can get. Men subconsciously or consciously see it as part of what makes them a man. If a woman rejects this part of him, it leads him to think that she is not attracted to him, or that she doesn’t love him.

Perceived Love

Women often perceive love in different things than what men do (obviously). A woman may perceive love in a man taking the time to listen to her, buy her gifts, take her out, commit to her, protect her, talk to her, put her first, hug her, caress her, call her, write her letters, making the first move, being the rock and the leader in the relationship, complimenting her, etc.

Whilst many of these things are important to men too, men also perceive great love in being given oral sex and having sex in general. They are not so much talkers like women are, and perceive that a woman loves him if she does have sex with him regularly. (Not always – but I’m not condoning casual sex here – I’m referring to those in a relationship).

There are many ways to express love. In this respect, men speak a different language of love, and it is no use telling a man you love him, and admire him (which is always fantastic, by the way!) if you will not open up to him sexually. If a man loves a woman, he craves for her to be open to him/accept him, not only sexually, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. (read my article about how to respect a man)

The important thing to take out of this point is that by giving your man oral sex, you are giving him love in the way that he understands it and can receive it. In order to truly give to someone, you have to understand how they perceive love, and being taken care of. It’s the same in an intimate relationship.

Although you may not always perceive love in being given oral sex by him (at least not as much as he perceives love in being given oral sex), he perceives love.This is sometimes very difficult for women to relate to, which is why I am writing this post. It’s very easy for a woman to consider a man insensitive, sleazy or selfish if he is regularly asking for sex.

And, it is often that women exclaim in confusion: ‘Why is it all about the sex?!!” It isn’t. It’s about how men perceive love, acceptance and admiration.

For many years now, men have been encouraged to reject the ‘ungentlemanly’ side of themselves which breaks the rules, and wants to engage in passionate sex with a woman.

A lot of men are afraid to ‘hurt’ their woman, and fear asking for sex, for fear of rejection.

This leads to a painful contradiction for a man. He fears rejection if he asks, yet he feels rejection anyway, when you don’t want to have sex with him. To a man, if a woman wants to have sex with him regularly, it means she loves him and is attracted to him. It’s important women understand that the masculine energy perceives importance and significance in a woman being very sexually attracted to him.

A Sense of Connection

We have already established that men don’t talk as much as women do in order to connect with other human beings. But why do men perceive so much connection in sex? The reason is because – men don’t generally communicate to other men the way women communicate with other women (and men). It’s hard for a man to go to his guy friends to talk, to connect and to feel loved.

The masculine energy is all about getting things done, moving on to the next challenge, putting an end to things – and letting go. The feminine energy doesn’t let go, it holds on. This holding on entails the emotional side of things. We are much more emotional creatures, and simply don’t need sex to feel regularly connected to other human beings. (Not that men cannot connect with others through talking too).

The difference is that men do. This is one of the primary ways in which men can feel connected to, and loved by their woman.

Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of giving their man a blow-job, because they dislike being vulnerable (not that they consciously use these words).

They hate being asked for it, and they unfortunately start to make their man feel bad about his need for sex, and because the man loves the woman, he slowly rejects the intensely sexual part of himself in order to feel more loved and accepted by her, and in order not to ‘hurt’ her.

The reality is that the masculine energy is very much driven by sex. This doesn’t have to mean that men always just want to have sex, no, no! Sexual energy can be used in many other ways to benefit an intimate relationship.

Living in your Feminine

To put it very simply, if a woman lives mainly in her feminine, and appreciates and chooses to understand rather than reject the masculine energy – she will have no trouble understanding and even appreciating, loving and enjoying the fact that her man gets a lot of his needs met through sex.

It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you understand this. As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be.

Do you want to understand men more? Click here to get our popular program Understanding Men.

What do You think about this topic? Do you agree?

Read this no-nonsense article on giving a man oral sex.

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415 Comments

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  • Jesse

    Reply Reply February 27, 2015

    I am very glad I read this article. I’m a 24 year old man and agree with everything this very smart woman had to say. It was very difficult for me to put into words my feelings about why blowjobs are so important to my happiness when I am in a committed relationship with a woman. The article applied to me in many ways, including how I feel when I can tell my partner isn’t as excited about blowjobs as I am. I understand that it is a chore sometimes giving oral for anybody. I enjoy giving it to my partner, but I know it isn’t always as fun as recieving. So I can imagine a penis doesn’t always look super appealing when it has to go into your mouth. Anyway, for reasons I hadn’t fully understood before, it hurts emotionally when I don’t feel like sex is as regular as I feel I need. But it is difficult for me to ask for sex/blowjobs, I think because it doesn’t feel the same emotionally when there’s a possibility she is doing it only because she feels obligated. So.. Thanks for the article. I don’t ever comment on these things but it was a real help for me and my lovely partner.

  • Eric Kastan

    Reply Reply February 19, 2015

    I like oral because it feels uncontrolled. I can control pace and such during intercourse or having a wank. Getting oral I can’t control those aspects and as such leads to a much more intense orgasm. And to the woman who can bring me such pleasure- I am more than happy to return the favor.

  • Casey

    Reply Reply February 17, 2015

    I am a 22 year old man, I wish to say that I do not in fact orgasm from oral except on the rare occasion that she does. On this point, I very much agree that it is a very trust based need for me as a male. I will also agree that acceptance of my penis is also a very important aspect of enjoying it. That ultimately I feel that if more woman understand that the need for sex as a male is an emotional need and not just physical it would be a better situation to be male. I fully understand that it is unfair to expect oral from your partner but the truth is we do not expect it but need that affirmation of having a woman that desires to please me in that way. Ultimately I agree that it is a very emotional need for a man and that often we are shamed for that.

  • Jessica

    Reply Reply January 22, 2015

    Blow-jobs is to eating pussy. Sorry for being crude. I have no problem with giving my husband head. He doesn’t mind giving me oral. We please each other no matter what. We love and respect each other and trust each other to give each other oral pleasure. The bed of marriage is not defiled.

    • Norm

      Reply Reply February 16, 2015

      Oral sex is why men invented make-up! Fact! True Femminst should never wear make-up!

  • MD

    Reply Reply January 12, 2015

    That’s a pretty deep article. As a man however I find myself loving the oral pleasure for somewhat different reasons.
    1.) it’s relaxing. Most normal sex involves me working up a major sweat to please my wife. Sometimes I am physically wiped out by the time I get her over the waterfall. I ask for oral sex because I can lay back and experience the bliss and it feels totally relaxed.
    2.) eyes and lips are so beautiful to watch. There is just something truly poetic about a woman’s feminine beauty during that intimate gift.
    3.) It’s sexually suspenseful and intense. The build up to the climax is so much more dramatic than vaginal insertion. Experientially it’s like an incredible delicacy.
    Anyway, I’m probably different than some others but there’s my motives. By the way. I love giving my wife oral sex and letting her relax and really building the tension. I don’t think of myself as being submissive, just generous. As such I translate my wives gift of oral sex a generous gift as well.

  • MR. Crystal Chaos

    Reply Reply January 12, 2015

    On my case, I believe it’s adaptability. A Woman can be pleased on many ways, But most men go into the battle field blind, They know where the clitoris is and as for the vagina they can only hope they reach the right spot, Till this day men don’t know and aren’t sure what do women find erotic on a men, As for we men lay bear our fantasies. A example is the nipple nudity, There are a lot of reasons on why women are sometimes prohibited from showing it, but there is also respect, Women acknowledge the fact that men are aroused by different sections of the body, We spill the beans on everything, As for women, It’s difficult to find a woman that expresses her views on what’s attractive of male as the opposite sex, All you hear is his manners, considerations and on many cases what he has to offer, But it’s hard to find women to say anything to express their thoughts as women to men on what parts of the body arouse them.

    Going back to topic, A man loves blowjobs because the mouth can adapt to the penis as a whole, The tongue moves around it and hits a lot of nerves, Pressure can be easily controlled and adjusted by letting air in and out of the mouth, and the sucking sensation varies and is heavenly. I can’t speak for deepthroating though. But that’s it for me.

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