Why Men Love Blowjobs?

why men love blowjob

Seriously… Why Do Men Really Love Blowjobs?

This article is not meant to be rude or offensive in any way. My aim is to help women become better women, and part of this is helping women understand more about men, what men want and why they want it.

Despite this being a sensitive topic, I hope we can all approach it with a little light-heartedness and let us remember that oral sex has been around for many, many years. I am also not condoning promiscuity, nor telling women they have to give their man oral sex. Ultimately, this is the woman’s personal choice.

My message is not for promiscuity or casual sex; I do not condone this. I condone healthy, strong committed and passionate relationships where each party does not reject the sexual essence of the other, and they each understand how the masculine and feminine energies operate.

Just as men sometimes have difficulty understanding why women are such emotional creatures, and don’t know how to deal with our ‘ocean of emotion’, a lot of women have trouble understanding the reason behind men wanting sex/blow-jobs, and put a man’s interest in sex down to the fact that they’re pigs, or that that’s ‘all they care about’, that that is all they want, and think they’re self-serving creatures who want it just because it feels good.

It is also widely known that the male and female sex drive are hard to reconcile. Women sometimes have a lot of trouble opening up to their men, and put it down to the fact that they ‘just don’t feel like it’. This is fair enough, women have crazy hormonal cycles, and find it hard to make time to focus on sex sometimes. We all know sex is extremely important to most men, but we don’t all really know truly why this is the case.

In fact, if you want a man to totally and completely commit to you, then this type of sexual intimacy is going to increase the likelihood of that happening to you.

If we can all have a bit more understanding and appreciation for the male sex, this will make it a much smoother ride for all of us, and we’ll be able to experience more freedom in our intimate relationships, once we truly understand and honor the differences between the sexes, and respect and understand what fills them up rather than fear and reject a man’s need for sex.

Dispelling the Myths

No, it’s not JUST because it feels good. Although, this is definitely a part of why men love oral sex so much, too. At first instance, most women think that men love it because they don’t have to do anything themselves, and can just sit back wait for the woman to do all the work. Without being crass, as this is not my intention, if it was because they don’t have to do anything themselves, then why don’t men get their pet dog to do it for them? (read my article about why you shouldn’t deprive your man of sex)

Indeed, if you ask a man why he wants oral sex so much, he probably won’t always be able to articulate exactly why he does. Men aren’t always as good as women are at decoding and expressing their own feelings and needs.

To put it simply, and generally, the basic reason why men love being given oral sex is because it is one of the ultimate feminine acts of love. Let me explain why below.

An Act of Submission

The first reason is submission. In order for you to give your man oral sex, you have to be vulnerable to him, and you have to submit to him. This is one quick way for a man to feel more like a man;  having a woman give him oral sex.

The visual aspect of submission is also a factor. For example, if a woman kneels before a man, this indicates that she is completely submitting to him, and giving him power/letting him dominate.

Of course, the act of giving a man a blow job is a feminine act (if she cares about him), as a woman has to (at least to large extent)  be in her feminine (although not always, as some women are closed when they do it, and do it out of obligation) in order to actually give him oral sex. It is possible to shut down and remove yourself from the experience and not be fully present with your man when you are doing it. (read my article about how to be submissive for love)

A Symbol of Vulnerability

In order to give a man oral sex, a woman has to be vulnerable to him. In fact, she has to open to him and be comfortable with being vulnerable to him. Of course, some women engage in oral sex out of obligation, or feel that they have to in order to please their man, so they do it.

In other words, their heart is not in it. If a woman’s heart is not in it, and she’s doing it on autopilot, then she is not fully vulnerable to him, and the man will sense this, although he will most likely not want to accept that she is doing it out of obligation.

The concept of vulnerability goes hand-in-hand with the idea of trust. The masculine energy/men has a real need to be trusted. And of course, if you are comfortable being fully vulnerable to him, then this indicates that you are trusting of him.

Admiration

Another reason is that the act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration for the man. Without being rude or unnecessarily graphic, a man’s penis is as close to the heart of his manhood as you can get. Men subconsciously or consciously see it as part of what makes them a man. If a woman rejects this part of him, it leads him to think that she is not attracted to him, or that she doesn’t love him.

why men love blowjobs

The act of being given oral sex is a symbol of admiration…

Perceived Love

Women often perceive love in different things than what men do (obviously). A woman may perceive love in a man taking the time to listen to her, buy her gifts, take her out, commit to her, protect her, talk to her, put her first, hug her, caress her, call her, write her letters, making the first move, being the rock and the leader in the relationship, complimenting her, etc.

Whilst many of these things are important to men too, men also perceive great love in being given oral sex and having sex in general. They are not so much talkers like women are, and perceive that a woman loves him if she does have sex with him regularly. (Not always – but I’m not condoning casual sex here – I’m referring to those in a relationship).

There are many ways to express love. In this respect, men speak a different language of love, and it is no use telling a man you love him, and admire him (which is always fantastic, by the way!) if you will not open up to him sexually. If a man loves a woman, he craves for her to be open to him/accept him, not only sexually, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. (read my article about how to respect a man)

The important thing to take out of this point is that by giving your man oral sex, you are giving him love in the way that he understands it and can receive it. In order to truly give to someone, you have to understand how they perceive love, and being taken care of. It’s the same in an intimate relationship.

Although you may not always perceive love in being given oral sex by him (at least not as much as he perceives love in being given oral sex), he perceives love. This is sometimes very difficult for women to relate to, which is why I am writing this post. It’s very easy for a woman to consider a man insensitive, sleazy or selfish if he is regularly asking for sex.

And, it is often that women exclaim in confusion: ‘Why is it all about the sex?!!” It isn’t. It’s about how men perceive love, acceptance and admiration.

For many years now, men have been encouraged to reject the ‘ungentlemanly’ side of themselves which breaks the rules, and wants to engage in passionate sex with a woman.

A lot of men are afraid to ‘hurt’ their woman, and fear asking for sex, for fear of rejection.

This leads to a painful contradiction for a man. He fears rejection if he asks, yet he feels rejection anyway, when you don’t want to have sex with him. To a man, if a woman wants to have sex with him regularly, it means she loves him and is attracted to him. It’s important women understand that the masculine energy perceives importance and significance in a woman being very sexually attracted to him.

A Sense of Connection

We have already established that men don’t talk as much as women do in order to connect with other human beings. But why do men perceive so much connection in sex? The reason is because – men don’t generally communicate to other men the way women communicate with other women (and men). It’s hard for a man to go to his guy friends to talk, to connect and to feel loved.

The masculine energy is all about getting things done, moving on to the next challenge, putting an end to things – and letting go. The feminine energy doesn’t let go, it holds on. This holding on entails the emotional side of things. We are much more emotional creatures, and simply don’t need sex to feel regularly connected to other human beings. (Not that men cannot connect with others through talking too).

The difference is that men do. This is one of the primary ways in which men can feel connected to, and loved by their woman.

Some women are uncomfortable with the idea of giving their man a blow-job, because they dislike being vulnerable (not that they consciously use these words).

They hate being asked for it, and they unfortunately start to make their man feel bad about his need for sex, and because the man loves the woman, he slowly rejects the intensely sexual part of himself in order to feel more loved and accepted by her, and in order not to ‘hurt’ her.

The reality is that the masculine energy is very much driven by sex. This doesn’t have to mean that men always just want to have sex, no, no! Sexual energy can be used in many other ways to benefit an intimate relationship.

Living in your Feminine

To put it very simply, if a woman lives mainly in her feminine, and appreciates and chooses to understand rather than reject the masculine energy – she will have no trouble understanding and even appreciating, loving and enjoying the fact that her man gets a lot of his needs met through sex.

It is much easier to have a healthy relationship when you understand this. As uncomfortable and difficult as it can be.

What do You think about this topic? Do you agree?

Read this no-nonsense article on giving a man oral sex.

Renee The Founder of The Feminine Woman

355 Comments

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  • John

    Reply Reply April 8, 2014

    Man, that was a really nice articel! I have been thinking about things connected to sex in my relationship. I’ve been married many years now and it’s been a problem with sex and I think so many women don’t know all these things and make the man feel like a creap because he wants sex. It is so true that a man feels loved if their wife WANTS to have sex with them. The blow-job issue… well, I guess it depends if it has to be there or not, but at least the man wants to feel in control, respected and like her hero and when she really likes his penis he feels like a “real man” and it gives him energy and the will to take care of his wife.

    Men also need to understand women of course, for you people who think I didn’t know that. There is far more stuff out there about how to understand women though, but many times women are not so interested in trying to understand men because they think they’ve figured them out already.

    Keep writing these informative articles.

  • Jane

    Reply Reply April 6, 2014

    Denise, you’re cool. You’re too cool. It’s normal to be turned off in a world full of fucked-up men. And people. All the advertising, movies, the entire culture and society are destroying the image of women. This is why they got such low self-esteem that they have to call/text/ask out the guys. And then guys treat them as “casual”. Are you kidding me? This is what we became? After all the feminist struggle? Some dolls that beg to be used and then are just left behind? Ladies, stop making tbe first step, stop caring about the “male gaze”! We are the power. We are the ones that create, that bring life! We are 100% superior to men. Stop acting low! If you do, men will humiliate you more and more. They are the one who should come with flowers and act like men, not like garbage, they should respect all women to the maximum, because women give life, what they can not do. And women are amazing in every detail that they will never possess and will never even understand.

    • Rob

      Reply Reply April 8, 2014

      Jane I enjoyed your feminist rant on ‘bringing life’ and feminine superiority. Surely in an equal world there would be no stereotypical roles where men have to bring flowers to women and women have to give blowjobs to men? Surely we would all be much happier asking each other out, bringing each other flowers, and giving each other oral sex?

      You can continue drawing lines between how men and women SHOULD behave and the roles each should play, but the more you differentiate the more inequality you will encourage. Consider what would happen if you blurred the lines and remove the stereotypical roles you talk about? If you’re going to convince the world that women are men’s equals, it’s best avoiding alienating half the worlds population by discussing the different ways in which women are superior to men. I do love a good feminist rant though…

    • sav

      Reply Reply April 11, 2014

      Jane, i think you and denise should see the same therapist, the both of you clearly didnt take the time to really read and properly understand the article. Women like you will never ever ever in a thousand years be happy with any man, no matter if he is literally perfect. All your talkof being so superior easily gives away your inferiority complex. Grow up.

  • Denise

    Reply Reply April 3, 2014

    I’m sorry but I disagree with this post, i understand it, but I’m a bit turned off. Especially when it comes to sex, i just dont want some guys stuff in my mouth and the guys who hit on me, are married and taken and they think because im a good girl or find them attractive that i will do it to them, but i havent because my intuition tells me that they are taken. i do not want to be submissive to a man or have him dominate me, i dont know if ever wil be ready to have sex and im 33. I’m just turned off and don’t want to deal with a guys sexual needs. I don’t want to catch anything or get pregnant, nor do i want to deal with birth control, i just dont want anything inside of me in anyway. I’m not crazy or lesbian, i just don’t want to engage in any type of sex until I’m ready, i looked up the term and i think im asexual. i never really had a craving for sex at all. i love men, i just dont want to please them, i want an emotional connection which is hard to find when men are willing to cheat on their wives or girlfriend because they want fresh meat. I want intimacy but i just don’t want to have sex and not sure when i will be ready. No i don’t need to see a doctor. Its just not a big deal to me, it just isn’t.

    • sav

      Reply Reply April 11, 2014

      And denise, why in the name of all things holy do you think any man is going to want to fulfilll your needs, when you clearly expressed that you have no interest in fulfilli g any of theirs??? Wow….. keep waiting.

  • uthman hauwa

    Reply Reply April 3, 2014

    Cool

  • Dallin

    Reply Reply March 5, 2014

    I’m a young man who has struggled very much with, shall I say, the balance of masculine and feminine in America. It seems like many young women are unwilling to acknowledge their feminine side or see it as weakness. Furthermore, I’m tired of being treated like a deviant for my innate desires. The author of this piece is a true gem, especially for her willingness to understand both the masculine and the feminine. I agree with what is written and applaud A THOUSAND TIMES OVER your willingness to share it with the community. If we can get this, really understanding it and its implications, we will find the beautiful convergence that can occur between the sexes.

  • Jen

    Reply Reply February 28, 2014

    Truly insightful. I like to give it to my man because I know he enjoys it and I enjoy doing it to him too. I don’t feel any obligation to do it to him nor does he oblige me to do it. We don’t see each other as often as it is (well, might take many months to a year before we do) so when we finally do get to see each other again it often feels like a celebration for both of us. The deeper our intimacy, the deeper is our connection to each other. I don’t feel any inhibition in doing it to him. It feels natural and I take pleasure in seeing how much he loves it. And his being grateful afterwards doesn’t hurt either. :)

  • ROBERT

    Reply Reply February 8, 2014

    I had a woman [I am not married but divorced, she never married] & I tried it once then felt nothing. She told me she loved it & told me she wants to do it to my dad to if he wants it. So later I left & went to my apartment then got sick, I felt nothing as in wanting sex, maybe it please the women more then men or maybe everyone is different, but to me blow jobs suck. Maybe it is to make the sperm to cum? But the only ‘cum’ was me coming back to my apartment [we live in the same building], but I too like this woman’s writing too. But please no sex spam.

  • Very insightful essay. It is good to see by the recent comments that people are still reading it and benefiting from the thorough and fair treatment.

    Fellatio enhances the shared emotional intimacy during lovemaking. (And, lovemaking is best kept for marriage.) Oral sex is so much more than physical!

  • Joan

    Reply Reply January 15, 2014

    Well, I for one love it. He holds my head close to his body and sometimes pushes and I feel loved even more.

    I never offer it, so he gestures for it. I’m really too shy to offer it. But he says I’m the best.

    Now, I believe you have to want to do it, not out of pleasing him only, that seems to be the case with a lot of couples. I tell my husband this is for the both of us when he is grateful. I appreciate him being grateful, but I give him lots of love and show him this is for the both of us.

    Now when I was angry with him the other day, he asked for oral. Hmmm To try to cheer me up.

    Ok all this talk makes me want to go to him now…..

  • Carmelina

    Reply Reply January 8, 2014

    Perchè porca madonna!!

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