Alpha Male traits: 10 Telltale Signs he is a Highly Evolved, Deeply Masculine Alpha Male.
OMG, OK, so listen to this. There I was… on a cold winter night in the dodgy end of town. I wouldn’t come to this part of town even during the day, let alone at night, but anyway.
I was there with my husband and two of his guy friends. We were all in our twenties back then, so we were youngish. David had gotten some free tickets to some local kickboxing and MMA fights, and I had never watched fights live before, so I thought I would tag along.
I had no idea what to expect. Obviously being one of the few women in this packed makeshift stadium, I stuck close to David and a couple of friends we had.
By the time we arrived, fights had already started and it had already begun to get crowded. We tried to push closer to the action, but there wasn’t a whole lot of space.
And then suddenly we spot this large table that was completely empty. So we moved closer towards it and we realised that it was a reserved table, but it was completely empty as opposed to the other reserved tables around.
We thought, since the fights had begun a while ago, we might sit there for now, and wait ’til the people who reserved it came along if they came along at all.
After all, we got a better view of the fights. These are the kinds of silly decisions you sometimes make in your twenties, right? So we were watching the fights, about 10 minutes went by, and suddenly I looked up and saw them walking towards us.
It was a whole bikie gang in their leather vests and they were all tattooed, mean looking, and huge. There was probably 30 of these mountains of flesh walking towards us. Most of them were taller than 6 foot 2 and built like brick walls.
They had these intense faces on, like at any moment they were ready to fight. I guess they call that roid rage, right? As you can probably imagine, I froze in fear. “Oh God…” , I remember thinking to myself.
Before we knew it, the whole gang was at the table towering above us. That’s when all four of us realised who this table belonged to. We managed to hijack the table of the local bikie gang and now we were under some pressure to handle this sticky situation.
The alpha in the group can solve social problems
As the leader of the gang approached us, I felt our two friends stand up in silence and nervously took a couple of steps backwards. “We should have just kept standing instead of sitting here at this table” , I thought to myself as the tension in the that moment became palpable.
The next thing I knew, my husband David who was my boyfriend at the time, stepped forward and obviously took it upon himself to deal with this potentially disastrous situation.
“Hey guys” he said, as he addressed the whole gang. David’s calm and gentle voice broke the tension and became the ripple of relief that spread through my anxiety-ridden body.
I watched David with a little bit of ambivalence as he looked into the eyes of the leader of the gang. I looked at David, and then at the big guy, looked back at David, and thought to myself, “God help us. I hope this doesn’t break out into an argument, because he looks like he could crush any one of us with just a hand…”
“Oh, is this your table? Sorry guys. There must have been a mistake. Here you go…” David said without an ounce of fear in his voice.
And in that moment, my eyes snapped back towards the gang leader. I saw that the big man’s eyes softened, and his shoulders relaxed, as he nodded at David. The whole gang of men behind him also relaxed and nodded too.
It cold have been a lot worse…
As the four of us walked away from the table, we looked at each other acknowledging the fact that this situation could have turned out a lot worse. After all, the Australian news and media portrayed this particular bikie gang as a lawless group of criminals.
I suddenly felt so safe that my man had just effectively dealt with the situation and protected us all. He had successfully diffused the situation.
Who knows how it could’ve turned out if he didn’t have the intelligence, fearlessness or courage to deal with this in the way that he did. I always knew the man he was, but that night I felt safer than ever with him.
I realised that not only did my man prove that he wanted to take care of me and his friends, he actually had the intelligence to approach this huge group of men not with fear, but with a sense of calmness and decisiveness that I didn’t have at the time and neither did his friends.
Would my hubby be the alpha in every scenario? No. That could change just with a simple flight overseas, to a new country, culture and social group. Men have to know their place (and indeed, in general, if they’re smart, they’re good at knowing their place.)
It’s important to remember that every context is different.
Even the most alpha of men can’t be alpha in every single context, group or social gathering. But some men can of course, have a tendency towards being the alpha, and having alpha male traits.
It depends on their personality, their upbringing, and how high value they really are in a social situation.
Intelligence solves more problems than brute strength
I have come to realise over the years that in this day and age, what makes women feel safe is not just a man’s size. Although size helps us feel protected on the surface. What makes us know we have a masculine, high value, and evolved man is his intelligence.
Intelligence can solve a lot of problems in this day and age that size and ego can’t. Anyone in this day and age can pretend to be an alpha male.
A man can get a loan to buy a nice car, get a bunch of tattoos, walk and talk a certain way to appear like an alpha male among his friends.
After all, many men want to appear and be alpha because they know that the most authoritative man in the group gets the most female attention. But many men go about it in surface ways. They try to be the strongest, fastest, loudest in order to “fake” having alpha male traits, because they know that the best men get more women.
However, here’s the truth. It’s only in sticky situations that a man’s true colours show up.
A man isn’t going to make you feel safe in the long-term if he doesn’t have the courage and the heart to deal with sticky social, or group situations. Also, here are 5 Simple Signs He Is Not An Alpha Male.
The job of an evolved, deeply masculine alpha male is to be a good leader.
He cares about his tribe and he has the courage and the emotional fitness to take risks. He takes risks for the sake of not only others, but for the sake of achieving great things.
Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.
To be an evolved male is a privilege
Now, this article is not here to put down anyone who doesn’t have these masculine, evolved ‘signs’. In fact, to evolve is actually a privilege. (Yes, of course, it’s also a choice.)
But think about it like this. A lot of people who are starving for food, who have nothing to eat, can’t focus on being evolved. They don’t have the luxury of focusing on being evolved (although they still could in theory make the choice to be evolved and it’s very possible).
A lot of people stuck under boulders from an earthquake, simply don’t have the privilege or the space to consider evolving or growing. Because they have to worry about their survival first.
To be able to evolve means that somehow, you’re not in survival mode. You don’t harbour a pattern of having your defences up. And, you are not stuck in old rules that may not be serving you anymore.
As it turns out, men evolve in their own time, and so do women.
So, just because a man or woman doesn’t seem evolved, doesn’t mean we should demand it from them.
Our job is not necessarily to judge. If we care about them, then it is our job to support them, connect and inspire them.
When we set an example, we give others an opportunity to step into this safe space and to connect with us. They can then also connect if they wish. Or, they can shun the opportunity and instead choose their old patterns. Old patterns of toxicity or addictions.
When we lead by example, it becomes easier for others to follow it.
So, let’s not approach this topic with fear or judgement. If anything, I should probably do an article one day on the traits of a highly evolved woman.
If I’m even qualified to do that, since I’m not exactly the most evolved person on earth! Let me know in the comments if you would like me to do an article on that and if you would find that interesting or valuable.
How many of these signs does a man need to have in order for you to consider him an “evolved” man?
Well, I suggest that if he has three of these signs, then he’s doing pretty well.
Remember that evolving is a choice and it is a gradual process that occurs over time and in moments. Often, as a woman, you being the light and the inspiration in a good man’s life will only help him evolve more.
Here are typical alpha male traits, and 10 signs he is a highly evolved, deeply masculine alpha male.
Sign number 1: He can see & appreciate the many layers of truth in a situation
You see, in order to do great things and to have a solid sense of masculine direction, masculine men need to remove themselves from emotion.
They generally have to have a well developed capacity to be objective, if that’s not already their default state.
The ONE main factor that really separates a beta male from a man who has alpha male traits, is his direction. And that is if he trusts his own direction, and if his direction serves others or not.
Men have an incredible capacity to remain objective, and much more so than most women.
This doesn’t mean they are superior to women. It just means that men are more frequently more removed from life.
They’re better at being empty of emotion and they’re more able to see patterns and truth.
If a man needs to serve others, which all alpha males do, then he must let go of old beliefs. He has to make room for new truths, angles, and perspective.
He has to do that in favour of what serves right now, and in favour of the real truth in any situation.
Can you really trust a man who refuses to acknowledge truths from many angles?
No. A man like this tends to be constricted and small, and that’s not his fault. It just means he may feel too vulnerable if he lets go of old beliefs and he doesn’t want that kind of vulnerability.
What is a good example of this in action?
A good example would be a man who considers himself polyamorous and doesn’t believe in monogamy.
Maybe he’s grown up with two very unhappily married parents and consequently doesn’t trust monogamy. Maybe he sees polyamory as the only way in life.
Or, maybe he’s just selfish and wants to have a harem of women and uses polyamory to justify it.
Whatever it may be, let’s assume that this man is polyamorous and doesn’t believe in monogamy.
An evolved man in this situation would be able to appreciate that monogamy can serve in many situations too.
In other words, he is not holding tightly onto old beliefs to feel safe. By the way, here is an article on Why Polyamory Would Never Work Long-term.
A highly evolved man seeks to understand multiple perspectives.
signs of a masculine man: He knows tHIS
One of the signs of a masculine man and an evolved male is this: he knows that different perspectives are important for seeing truth.
The truth is not always easy to find, but he tries to seek it out. He knows that his perspective isn’t the only one.
This capacity to appreciate objectively makes a man more evolved and trustworthy. It allows him to observe the truth from many different layers.
Interestingly, his evolved state might feel like a threat to many women. But I believe most women know and sense deep down that a man like this gives them a deeper sense of freedom.
And women trust men like this more, as they simply serve others better.
So, maybe ask yourself: Does he dodge the truth to try to please people? Does he avoid the truth because it’s uncomfortable?
Or does he expose the truth (with integrity and connection to people?) I believe most masculine men know the value of truth.
And this is one of the ultimate signs of a manly man. Because he isn’t stuck in subjective emotions that he has inside himself.
Rather, he is zoomed out, and so centred in masculine energy, that it’s nature for him to pick up on the truth, fast.
This is in contrast to the feminine, which is more subjective by nature.
Sign number 2: He is less focused on short-term gratification; he plays the long game.
A good example of people who think ahead, and play the long game, is chess players.
They know that in order to be good at the game, they have to be steps ahead of their opponent.
Also, consider business owners. To run a successful business with integrity, he/she has to consider the future profits of the business.
For a business to be successful long term, the owner needs to make their profits sustainable. Not only that, a business owner must also make sure the business actually brings value to the customer long-term.
The question becomes more like this. “How can I be in business in 10 years time?”
As opposed to how do I make a killing today in the easiest way possible, whilst postponing all the problems until tomorrow?
Running a successful business (with integrity) is a highly evolved endeavour.
One has to think long-term to maintain a successful business. And here’s the obvious. It takes a lot more resources to build a profitable, long lasting business from scratch than it does for a man to just inherit riches from his family.
This is one reason why I always say that a broke or jobless man still CAN be high value.
He doesn’t have to play the long game in EVERY area of his life
Now, let’s say you have a man who is successful at accruing resources.
Yet he’s not so successful at, say, thinking long-term when it comes to food and diet.
For example, sometimes he eats a little too much unhealthy food. Does this mean that he is overall weak and all about short-term gratification?
Not really. We’re all allowed some weaknesses.
A top businessman can polish off almost a whole Christmas pudding and still be great at playing the long-game.
He may not know as much about food as he does about business.
Sometimes men only develop the strength to play the long game in areas where he sees the importance and feels it really matters. Like in a competition he really wants to win (chess, business, sport, making money).
This is in contrast to not playing the long game in areas that he doesn’t connect so closely to his sense of self worth as a man. Like his health and his figure.
By the way, my husband wrote a popular article on the 5 Telltale Signs He Has Crippling Low Self Esteem. You might want to give it a read and see if it helps!
Sign number 3: He is not always defensive or riddled with fear.
In other words, most of his actions and words come from a relaxed body, not from fear and defensiveness. We can’t serve others, or evolve if we’re always in survival mode, you see.
I think we are all liable to become defensive in certain moments here and there. But what matters is that we don’t live there most of the time.
I don’t think that if someone is defensive in one moment, that they are screwed for life. But I do know of people who are chronically defensive. You literally cannot say anything to them, or approach them with anything. And nor can you trust them with anything, because they just aren’t ready for it.
In other words, they cannot even be there for themselves, so how are they supposed to be there for others or really add value to others?
This isn’t always their own fault. Some people just have so much accumulated trauma that it doesn’t take much for them to completely shut down.
Some people who have experienced a lot of trauma have a very strong and fast stress response when triggered. Their stress level goes from 0 to 10 faster than the speed of light.
That’s OK. They can always evolve beyond that. However, men like this aren’t always in a position to be an evolved alpha male who serves the people around him.
A man who hasn’t had the privilege of working through past trauma may struggle truly showing his alpha male traits. If he just hasn’t been able to evolve beyond his own defensiveness or his own fears, then he is not going to make a woman feel safe.
He’s also not going to have the space for developing depth or rational thought.
Not to mention, men who are in fear a lot of the time end up not being very calibrated in social situations. Here are 6 Behaviours You Should Never Tolerate In A Man.
Sign number 4: He is not afraid to cry.
This means that he’s not stuck in old rules about what he has to do to be a man. I think almost every woman would fall for a man who is strong, present, capable and driven. But a man who has all of that, and whom also isn’t afraid to own his feelings is high value too. Am I right?
A man who can be manly but also cry is evolved because that shows that he’s not always holding everything in and building resentment.
It shows that he’s accessible, trustworthy and above all, that he’s not only one kind of person all the time. We can trust a man who is willing to cry. Not all the time, but when he needs to.
Of course, if a man is always emotional and doesn’t have any real purpose or personal direction that he is moving towards, that’s not great. Then his emotionality will feel off putting. It will feel bad to most women in relationship with a man like this.
On the other hand, a man with authority and status who is also unafraid to show and own his feelings, would scream relationship value and multidimensionality.
Having said that, many men don’t have a lot of feelings in general. Oftentimes, that’s just because they are men, and not because they are actually pushing down emotions.
Men will be men. That usually means they are more focused on getting things done and solving problems than they are on feeling their own feelings. Most of the time.
And yet that doesn’t mean that a man shouldn’t have the capacity to access deep emotions like sadness or even appreciation.
A man who is authoritative yet can still feel deeply is just as evolved and masculine as any other.
Because without the capacity to feel these real feelings, there would be nothing allowing him to connect deeply to others and to serve other people.
A part of having alpha male traits is to be able to serve the tribe, group or social gang. To truly serve, a man has to be able to feel others!
A man who has never had to feel deeply has never had to serve deeply. He may serve on a surface level, but it never goes deeper than that.
By the way, there are exactly 7 Signs that A Woman is Perceived As Low Value to Men. Do you know what these signs are, and how to avoid them like the plague? Find out what the 7 signs are here.
Sign number 5: He sees the value of your feelings & intuition
He sees the value of your feelings as a woman and your intuition. Even better, he responds according to those.
A man who is not attuned to others, and is too stuck in himself, will tend to disproportionately value his masculine views of the world.
This kind of man may try to devalue the feminine viewpoint. Especially since it’s a different viewpoint from his own, and probably also more subjective to her, more emotional and therefore not easy to control.
At the end of the day, a man who is not putting all his energy into trying to feel worthy, will have the capacity to feel his woman.
A man who isn’t trying to be right all the time, will probably be open minded enough to zoom out and respect your point of view as a woman.
He will see that as a man, his view of life and situations will be limited by his own male mindset and viewpoints.
See, many men out there will suppress a woman’s femininity. Because it feels to him as though she is not as capable or in control as he is.
And that can feel wrong in the eyes of the masculine filter.
However, or a woman’s view of the world is highly valuable in a way that a man’s can never be.
The feminine perspective can bring great insights into a situation as well. And if a man is so oppressive that he doesn’t give you a voice at all, that’s a problem. And you could potentially be in a seemingly harmless, toxic relationship.
If a man doesn’t allow a woman’s more finely feeling nature to bring certain insights into the relationship, then he’s probably trying to control things far too much.
An evolved man will acknowledge that you bring to the table a deeper sensibility for the finer details in terms of relationships. He will see that perhaps you’re able to see and feel the more nuanced social communications.
Women in general are more inclined to care about not only the relationships they themselves are in, but the relationships of the people around them.
So women will feel and sense what’s happening and what’s about to come faster than a man would. (unless of course, she’s over-stressed and overworked, which can drown out her body’s natural gut instinct)
By the way, this sign isn’t meant to be fertile ground to justify an argument about who is more right (the man or the woman).
It is more a point that will shed light on how both perspectives brought together can create more value in your relationship.
Also, here are 6 Behaviours You Should Never Tolerate in A Man.
Sign number 6: He is not afraid of challenges
Masculine energy becomes more intense through challenge and grows through challenge.
A masculine man will literally become more masculine through the challenges thrown at him. Provided he’s not seeking silly, pointless challenges all the time of course.
And that’s what a weaker male will do. He will seek pointless challenges preferentially and run away from the challenges that his ego cannot handle.
An evolved masculine alpha male will value the humility that comes with rising to challenges that he may initially fail miserably at.
He will also choose challenges that build resilience over challenges that make his ego feel good for five minutes.
Here’s the thing: an evolved man is not going to rise to every single challenge, big or small. He also has to be able to pick his battles carefully so as to conserve valuable energy, because energy is finite.
Almost any man will find some challenges worth rising to, and shun others. So just because a man doesn’t want to rise to one challenge doesn’t mean he’s not evolved by any means.
The more evolved a man is, the more he will become good at picking only the challenges worth rising to.
What challenges would be worth rising to? The challenges that make him grow, the challenges that are necessary for him to serve his family.
And he won’t be picking such challenges because they’re so easy he knows he could come out on top of them. He’ll be picking these challenges because it’s right. Even if they are enormous challenges that seem bigger than him.
Men who are stuck in seeking love & approval won’t rise to good quality challenges
Here’s an interesting thing about men and challenges. The men who haven’t experienced enough love and nurturing from their parents growing up, may get stuck in fighting the poor quality fights.
The men who haven’t evolved beyond that stage of needing approval and love first will (to no fault of their own), be more stuck searching for that love. Even though it’s never anywhere to be seen.
If they’re stuck in that cycle then they’ll be a little less resourceful than men who were raised by emotionally resourceful families.
So, rather than taking on true responsibility and adult challenges, these men will not feel loved enough, resourceful enough or worthy enough to really choose the challenges that propel him to grow.
This could be because they’re still looking for mummy or daddy’s love and acceptance.
There’s nothing wrong with this. There’s a lot of us in the world who struggle in adulthood without knowing it, because one or both of our parents were never really present for us.
A man who is always picking easy challenges, and cannot grow beyond that is probably not going to be able to lead himself or others very well. This is because he will be more short-sighted and seeking short-term gratification.
What counts as pointless challenges or easy challenges?
Well, competing on who can eat the biggest burger every week. Feeling like a king for eating the most might be entertaining, for once.
Though if that’s the extent of the challenges he’s willing to rise to, then he’s probably not serving others.
Again, an evolved alpha male has value because of how well he can lead, take responsibility, and serve others.
How much you can eat isn’t meant to be a life purpose, you see.
Sign number 7: He seeks to contribute to life, rather than take from it.
An evolved alpha male can never remain alpha without the ability to contribute to his tribe, and to the people around him.
Evolved men usually don’t get their thrills in life by going around taking from everyone to fill a hole that can never be filled.
In fact, alpha males are a resourceful entity within themselves. They need their tribe too, of course. Every man in the tribe serve a great and necessary purpose.
Do you remember though, one of the things that separates the beta male traits from the alpha male traits?
It is a man’s direction. An alpha male has his own, strong direction and he trusts it the most. (ie: he doesn’t let his woman wear the pants and nor does he let petty men get to him.)
Evolved men don’t have a default setting that tells them to seek to extract value from people. Evolved men are more attuned to where people are at.
They aren’t reckless, and they’re more sensitive to social cues and consequences.
So how would you know if a man is a perpetual taker or not? Well, men (and women) who see the world as a place to extract value from will simply give you a ‘yucky’ or ‘slimy’ feeling in your gut.
If you check in with your body, you’ll know.
Rather than getting caught up with what a man might give you, you’ll be able to feel the messages your body is sending you. You’ll feel the pain and the sense of yuck inside your body when you are dealing with a perpetual taker.
Consider an alpha male’s responsibility to contribute like this. In a pack of wolves, the alpha wolf has to be the one to think for the pack and protect the tribe. He’s not just there for his own ego.
If a rival pack showed up, it’s the alpha wolf’s job to show up and lead the pack.
Many men like to look dominant and intimidating for their own ego and feeling of status, rather than actually having the strength and humility to serve others. And this doesn’t necessarily make him a real contributor or leader.
For example, if a man’s dominance comes purely from using the appearance of his physical size or strength (and not from true resourcefulness), then he’s going to feel threatened and triggered a lot.
A man who is triggered a lot or in it just to feel big and tough for himself isn’t going to serve anyone. Not only that, but he will also be superseded by a younger or more intelligent male very easily and quickly.
A man who is looking to just dominate a group for his own feeling of significance is going to lead a very weak tribe, because he only cares about himself.
And what value is physical size really in this day and age? Yes, tall and big is nice, it can warn off other men, at times.
But without intelligence it’s not worth much. An evolved alpha male is ultimately intelligent and resourceful for his people/tribe.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that men who rely purely on physical size to feel successful, strong and alpha aren’t very deep, or evolved, are they? They may have the strength, but lack the intelligence.
So, this isn’t me judging macho men. After all, I’m a woman, I’m small, and so I can appreciate big strong men and I think they are great. Yet, if that’s all he is, then he’s not that valuable to anybody long-term.
Sign number 8: He tries to open you by adding value, not through blind force
We as women have to keep our sexual resources and our emotions somewhat concealed. In other words, we need to be opened.
Most women aren’t just going to say ‘yes!’ to an offer of sex from a stranger on the street.
(In contrast, research has shown that many men do say yes to offers like that from strangers on the street).
So when we reveal ourselves, when we get turned on and let a man in sexually, it should be a gradual process. Most good, evolved men would respect that and be attuned to that, rather than trying to blindly force a woman into sex.
In fact, rape is usually but not always a tool used by low value, low status men. It’s not a tool that high value, evolved men use to get sex.
So rather than resenting women their whole lives, or resenting other men for getting women while he doesn’t, a high value masculine man would do something different.
A masculine alpha male will look to become more valuable overall as a man. He will therefore be able to have the skills to open women and make them trust him.
Examples of ways men will add value in trying to open you
- He uses humour/he makes you laugh
- He gives you his presence
- He cares about how you feel and wants you to feel comfortable
Some examples of low value methods men use to try to get sex:
- He calls you frigid just because you don’t want to have sex with him
- He puts you down, stealing from your self esteem so that you feel smaller. The smaller you feel, the more you are able to be controlled.
- He criticises you rather than connecting or trying to understand.
By the way, here’s an article I wrote on the 7 Burning Signs A Man is Being Low Value.
Sign number 9: He connects to the soul in others
To influence anybody deeply, an alpha male would have to really connect to the soul of other men around him. He would have to inspire. To do that, he has to reach deeply into someone and speak to who they are, beneath all the surface “small talk”.
Obviously, speaking to the souls of people is not something you want to do all the time, because it’s not always appropriate!
It’s more about his capacity. If a man has the best intent to positively impact others and lead others, he would need to have the ability to connect soul-to-soul.
When a man or woman cares to connect to the soul of the people they care about, it’s a sign that they are not just in it for themselves. When a man can care in this way, he has a whole lot more power in a tribe, and with his woman.
This power may not be physical strength or good looks, but it’s a spiritual power. Intangible yet meaningful.
A lot of us in this modern world feel like be have to craft a good image for ourselves.
When we spend our life doing this, we don’t have time for real connection. A man is not going to evolve and appreciate others beyond what they can do for him, if he cannot reach outside of himself into other’s souls.
You see, it’s not about always proving yourself to people. Instead, it’s about what’s real.
It’s not about the image. It’s about the quality of connections you have in your life.
It’s not about me, it’s about we.
It’s not about my fears, it’s about connecting to each other’s soul. And any evolved, masculine alpha male would be able to appreciate this.
Sign number 10: He is not too stuck in one identity all the time (he is multidimensional).
This means that he doesn’t think he can be one person all of the time, and expect that one identity and personality to serve in every occasion.
For example, is the gentle nice guy personality always what will provide a hot sex life?
In fact, a primitive, dominant caveman might work very well for a hot sex life. It would serve that part of a woman who really wants to be opened in to total ecstasy by a dominant man.
A nice, gentleman is just not going to be able to provide that much juice in this scenario.
I really learned about multidimensionality from my husband, David (I adore him so much).
When we first got together many years ago, I thought that being nice was important for almost all scenarios. I learned that that’s just not the case.
Everything is contextual. Take for example a person who is being an idiot and treating a someone disrespectfully for no reason.
Should an evolved alpha male continue being nice and expect that person to be nice in return? Not necessarily. With some people it may work, but it usually doesn’t work with most.
And, being nice all the time would be silly, un-attuned and a slap in the face to himself.
We can simply not expect that being kind and “spiritual” will work to get through to everyone in every context, because that’s one-dimensional.
This doesn’t mean that he should get wildly angry and punch everybody in the face. It just means that he respects his own anger enough to use the anger wisely as a resource to get through a bad situation.
For example, let’s say that one day you somehow come across a criminal or prisoner.
You are a well educated, upper class individual, encountering an aggressive, repeat offender who is spending a large chunk of his life in prison.
Let’s say that hypothetically, you have to get through to this prisoner and get him to see something from a new perspective.
How can you deal with this new situation, or connect with a prisoner who has perhaps grown up in terrible conditions? Who has, perhaps also been abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him?
Like many people in prison, they’ve been raised in troublesome circumstances and gone on to be a thief or a bully their whole life.
How can you add value to, or deal with this person who is entirely different to you?
The answer is you can’t do it by doing what you think should be right in you head.
You have to be multi-dimensional. You have to be able to access the darker sides of you in order to effectively deal with this person.
It’s completely deluded to think that one gentle, kind and spiritual part of us can effectively solve every problem in the same way.
‘Kill them with kindness’ does not always work
“Kill them with kindness” just doesn’t work in real life. It may work in la-la land, but not on planet earth.
Ok, maybe kill them with kindness is valuable in certain contexts, but it’s not effective for every context.
All of us have to have the multidimensionality to meet people where they are at first. That is if what we really want is to be resourceful, and to deal with all the problems that we have in life in a resourceful way.
An alpha male, a man who is evolved and masculine, has extremely good social skills (social skills are a sign of intelligence, too).
And he is accomplished at being resourceful in some difficult social circumstances, making the women around him feel safe, protected and free to be women!
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how skilled and well developed a man is in one particular character or personality within himself. It’s not valuable to be the bad boy all the time any more than it is valuable to be the nice guy all the time.
By the way, if you want to learn how to get a man to beg you to be his one and only woman, I’ve just published my program “Becoming His One & Only: 5 Secrets to have him fall madly in love with you and BEG you to be his one and only.” Go and get your copy here.
That concludes the 10 telltale signs you’ve picked a highly evolved, deeply masculine alpha male.
As I mentioned earlier, if a man has 3 of these signs, then he’s doing pretty well. A man does not need to have all 10 of these signs to be a highly evolved, deeply masculine alpha male.
Which of these signs did your ex have or lack? Which of these traits do you wish to see more of in men?
Let me know if you can add to this list of signs. I’m sure you’ve encountered some signs that a man is evolved that I have missed!
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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