How To Understand Men? 5 Insights on Men To Ease Your Worries

Understanding men is something that many women resist, subconsciously or consciously.

I’m talking about really, deeply understanding them. Not just the surface stuff that is often false such as “men love the chase”.

You have come here because you want to know how to understand men better, and I commend you for that.

I believe that understanding = knowledge. And knowledge = power.

Understanding Men

When you understand men, it gives you superpowers (with men), and though men can be hurtful and frustrating, understanding them will give you a sense of freedom from your worries in a relationship.

When you are on a quest to understand men, there are two important fundamental principles that I want you to remember.

Because I find that it’s very easy to forget all the little details and everything else when you are stressed out or upset about your relationship issues.

And it’s helpful to remember these two fundamentals before you make decisions that you will regret.

Let’s start with those fundamentals, shall we?

Table of Contents

Fundamental #1: Many Things You Worry About With Men Are Nothing To Worry About.

See, we worry for our reasons – with our feminine hormones and feminine biases.

We think that he is not calling, for example, because we haven’t shown enough interest in him.

And so we call him and chase him out of fear; rather than thinking it through it first.

Yet, the bottom line is that if he wants to call, he will eventually.

As women, we have what we call a feminine bias. We overanalyse and read other meanings into things.

Here’s some examples of thoughts that we have stemming from this feminine bias:

Did he say that because he actually meant something else?

He looks intense. He must really hate me right now.

What does it mean when he said he has a meeting at 5pm? Does he mean he doesn’t like me anymore?

It means he has a meeting at 5pm.

And men usually mean nothing more than exactly what they said.

And he looks intense because he’s focused or stressed due to focusing on projects that he has not finished.

What We Tend To Worry About (& Why We Shouldn’t)

We also tend to have thoughts that stem from worry…

“What if he leaves me for Fiona?”

“What if I don’t compare to other women?”

“What if I am not interesting enough?”

“And what if Shelley is prettier than me and he will leave me for Shelley?”


If you’re already a man’s ‘one and only’ and he’s committed, then he’s not going to compare you to other women. Nor will he leave you for someone prettier.

Let me explain why.

(Marrying you doesn’t mean you’re his one and only.)

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

Your Imperfections Are What Make Him Love You

First of all, if you’re a man’s one and only woman (rather than the one of many woman), you’re the ultimate woman to him.

All your imperfections are just a part of what make him love you. Men don’t fall in love with perfect women.

My husband explained this in this now vintage (but incredible content) video:

So, no. Men don’t compare their ‘one and only’ to any other woman.

This is due to the fact that she is the one they fell in love with and formed a romantic union with.

She is the one and only, and could never be put in the basket of ‘one of many’ women.

(Yes, men categorize women into one of two baskets. The one and only basket, or the one of many basket.)

If you would like to deepen your understanding of how to show up as the one and only woman, I teach the 5 secrets to have him fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only here.

A man is not going to leave you for a prettier woman!

It does not work that way. Men leave a woman if they do not feel any emotional attraction and emotional connection for her.

They leave if the woman doesn’t show up high value.

(High value is mostly about your radiance, your responsiveness and a few other things which I discuss in my article 3 Things that Make You A High Value Woman to Men.)

In a similar vein, we think our boyfriend or husband didn’t do that thing for us because he doesn’t love us enough or care enough.

But really, it’s usually because he didn’t feel, see and hear our request in the form of our emotions.

Ie: he didn’t feel and see our request in a way that would give him urgency and compel him do it for us.

It’s usually not because a man doesn’t care, but our feminine brain interprets his actions that way.

There are exceptions to this though, and these exceptions show up when you’re in a relationship with a toxic or narcissistic man, or when you married a man who never felt love for you to begin with.

Fundamental #2: Men Are Not Bigger, Stronger, Faster Females.

….They are men!

One of the most damaging things you can come to believe is that men aren’t that different from women.


In one way, it is true. They aren’t that different from women in the sense that we’re all human.

But in many ways, they are very different from women. A different species, some would say!

It’s been shown that there is such a thing as a female and male brain. In other words, our brains are different.

Studies like this one have shown that men and women appear to have different ways to encode memories, sense emotions, recognize faces, solve certain problems, and make decisions. 

So yes, men are different to women in many ways naturally.

Yet the main difference which you should be most concerned with, is the differences in their reproductive agenda.

You might be wondering how their “reproductive agenda” applies to you. Well it applies to you in the way that their intent with you as a woman largely stems from that.

This means not only that men have different reproductive agendas to us and they might try to “use” us.

(It’s not always negative though! Don’t let fear carry you away to far away lands where you can never come back and be grounded again).

It also means that we always have to be open to questioning the meaning that we place on what men do.

You see, we assume we know why people do things.

And we assume we know why men do things.

Usually, we are wrong, especially when it comes to making assumptions about men.

Most women can’t see past their own feminine bias of thinking. (Honestly most entitled, uninformed women don’t even want to.)

They prefer their rules for men over their understanding of men, as this armour feels more valuable to them.

I can’t blame them for being this way, but I’d never want to be them.

But it’s important to have this skill of understanding men!

Enter my shameless plug: if you want to have the skill of knowing how to read a man like an open book, try our number one most popular course, Understanding Men.

So try not to have the armour. I get the armour, but it can also make you rather stupid as a woman. Stupid as in, making stupid decisions that sabotage your own relationships with men. I know because I was that stupid woman.

Read more about how you might be self sabotaging your relationships in my article: Why Do I Self Sabotage My Relationships? 9 Reasons Why.

If you can have a certain level of openness and humility with men, then you will develop an infinite capacity for understanding men!

As you understand more, you can feel infinitely more confident with men, and you’ll worry much less.

What’s the relevance of the fact that men aren’t bigger, stronger faster women?

It means they’re built to be better at things that we might not be as good at. This doesn’t always mean that men can’t do what women do, and vice versa.

It just means that a woman is the better person to do some particular things.

(Like, resonate with a woman or breastfeed her baby! Because she has an innate gift and biology for it.)

These innate differences go beyond social constructs.

It’s also these innate differences that causes emotional and physical attraction.

However, even though it’s our differences with men that cause attraction, it’s also these differences that cause misunderstandings and pain.

Through all my own struggles understanding my husband, here’s the best thing I’ve discovered:

The differences between men and women might cause us pain in relationships, but somehow these internal mechanisms in men also work to our favor.

Alternatively stated, the universe is somehow still making sure that we, as woman are well taken care of despite the difficulties, and if we’re willing to see it.

Do the quiz: Which of these 8 feminine archetypes am i?


Which one of these 8 feminine archetypes are you? Answer these 21 questions to discover which feminine archetype you are and how it positively and negatively affects every relationship you have. (Especially your intimate relationship with men.)

1. When I have to make a tough decision…

2. In my current or previous relationship…

3. Which is more true?

4. How important are other people’s feelings?

5. It’s more important to…

6. In social situations, I am...

7. In my old age, it’s more important to look back and know that

8. Confrontations are...

9. When someone hurts themselves...

10. On a rainy day, I prefer…

11. In terms of dancing…

12. When I meet someone for the first time, I get a gut feeling whether I can trust them or not.

13. I believe in premonitions

14. True or false... A man and a woman should get along if they love each other.

15. I would prefer... 

16. I can often feel other people’s intentions from a mile away

17. The thought of newborn babies make me feel…

18. I would prefer to be more...

19. When a friend is upset, my first instinct is to:

20. Regarding sex...

21. When I’m faced with something unknown, I trust

Amazing! Let's look at your results...

We are analysing your feminine archetype right now and preparing your personalised summary.

Here’s something interesting to know before moving forward…

Every single one of these archetypes has strengths and weaknesses. No matter how ego stroking it may be to identify with your archetype, know that it’s just a starting point.

It is your job to be aware of the strengths and weaknesses so that you can grow, evolve and become who you are meant to become.

Ultimately you want to become a full multi-dimensional human being. In order to truly become a high value individual, you want to tap into the value that every part of you has to bring to the table.

This feminine archetype quiz is one step along this journey to help you discover who you are, and who you will become.

So here is the next step.

Please enter your first name and email below so that we can safely deliver your feminine archetype results and send to you the extended explanation. (As well as give you $3,765 worth of coaching bonuses!)

And yes, we'll treat your email like it was our firstborn.

How Do I Understand A Man?

There are two ways to understand a man.

  1. You put yourself in his shoes and try to really feel what he values in life.
  2. You learn more about the reproductive agenda and the thought process of the male species – because it’s different to yours as a woman.

Take Advice On Men From Your Girlfriends With A Grain Of Salt

As much pain as the differences between men and women cause us, evolution has also made men and women work perfectly together in many ways.

So don’t worry…

As a woman, evolution didn’t ditch you and make you suffer at the hands of guys behaviour forever.

You are actually far better taken care of than you or any other woman would ever have you believe.

As long as you take understanding men seriously, you will be in a much better position to protect yourself, and know have to navigate the waters with men.

It’s just that taking dating or relationship advice from girlfriends often makes us dumber, and more stressed.

Women Get Women…

This is because most women get women; they don’t get men!

Which means that 99 percent of what women think, and the meaning we place on male actions, is incorrect and only causes us more worry and anxiety.

When you stop taking advice from friends who may not be good at getting out of their own heads and in to your man’s head…

And when you stop taking advice from friends who may not want the best for you…

You start to trust your own decisions more.

And that’s a good place to be.

When you trust the poor quality advice less, and develop your own direction more, you may start to see that men actually want to be there for you!

They want to commit to you, and take care of you.

In fact, my husband wrote a popular article sharing that there are 3 very good reasons why all men secretly love to commit.

Evolution made men this way!

But men are wired to take care of a certain type of woman.

The right woman! The woman they see as high value we will talk more about these two things soon).

how to stay high value

Understanding Men Tip: Men Are Responding To You.

Try to remember that men are responding to your energy.

And of course, women are always responding to how men show up around them too.

What does this mean?

This means that how you show up around men is crucial to your relationship success.

If you show up as low value, or less than you can be, you will get far worse than low value in return.

Sometimes, you get nothing. But when you show up as a high value woman, you get far more than you bargained for.

CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report.

(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)

What Do You Worry About When It Comes To MEN?

I can remember the days when I’d stress constantly about how a man I liked might think of me.

I was also very quick to make terribly wrong assumptions about men that were…well, wrong!

Wrong enough that assuming these things was just ignorant.

Have you ever worried incessantly about being cheated on?

Ever worried about him checking out other women?

I guarantee you have no idea how much you totally over-stress issues with men that actually don’t exist, or aren’t true in his world.

As a woman, you are wired to worry when you are in a fearful state.

But as a woman, you also have a lot more power with men than you have been lead to believe.

You have the power with men more than you know right now, even as you are reading this. And your knowledge of men is your power with them.

This is the basis of my program “Understanding Men” (check it out by clicking here).

How Do You Know What A Guy Is Thinking?

Differentiate between these TWO important things: try to differentiate between your feelings and your perception.

Your feelings make you perceive guys behaviour a certain way, because your feelings cloud your perception.

Your feelings about men aren’t wrong…but your perception of men is.

Let me make this clear:

Your feelings in response to men are not wrong.

They are your feelings, and they are here to help you.

As a woman, you know that your feelings are the truest and most real thing in your life.

After all, as women, we have feelings about everything!

The thing is, you have to remember that they are your feelings.

Do you know what that means?

It means they are not a man’s feelings.

Which means that the man you are dealing with doesn’t do the things he does for the reasons you think he does.

when men look at other women

When Men “Look” At Other Women…

I’ll give you a little example of how men don’t do the things they do for the reasons we think they do it.

The other day I was driving to the mall, and I stopped at a red light.

While waiting for the lights to change, I looked to my right to see…two men in a car, staring at something to my left. And they were very concentrated on this particular thing.

I turned to follow their gaze, and saw a man in a car to my left, also staring intently at this as-yet-unknown thing.

Two seconds later, I see two young women in bikinis washing cars. lol.

Now… because I understand men, I can laugh at this and not just roll my eyes in fear and anger.

But I have a question for you: What is your instinctive, gut-level reaction to this?

Do you sigh in disgust?

Would you worry that your boyfriend or husband might look at those bikini clad girls too, if he was in the car with you?

What are you really worried about? That he thinks those half-naked girls are better than you? That he wants to have sex with every one of them?

The answer to all these fears is a resounding “No.”

Understanding Men Tip: Men Are Wired Towards Objectivity

See, it took me a while to get this. Men are naturally pulled to take note of changes in their environment, constantly.

It’s very important for any man to be knowledgeable and aware of his environment.

After all, his knowledge (and his ability to retain that knowledge are a part of what makes him valuable as a man!)

This is why you see men constantly watching news stories or learning about history. Did you happen to see that tik tok and instagram trend where women made videos asking their husbands “how often do you think about the Roman Empire?)

Now back to the bikini clad girls. I’m sure he notices how they’re in their reproductive prime. And I’m sure he acknowledges that a few of them might be attractive.

But it doesn’t mean they are feeling anything deep towards these girls. It’s just an observation.

So to them, the bikini clad girls are actually like:

Oh. Gee, that’s novel. There’s a bikini car wash in Melbourne, Australia? I’ve never seen that before! OK then!”

Moving on now. Almost immediately, he would no longer be thinking about the bikini clad girls.

They’re wired to observe and look.

I will be truthful: some men might want to have sex with those women, but those men are usually the men who consistently feel a lack of attention, sex and feminine energy in their life.

They are the men who don’t feel that women desire them. they are the desperate men. They are the men who feel deprived.

The question is: Do you have a deprived man?

Do you have a desperate man? Do you have a man who treats every new attractive woman he sees as a sexual opportunity?

If so, your worries might be well-founded.

We are always obsessed with the things we perceive that we can’t have.

So, a man who hasn’t felt confident with women, a man who doesn’t feel desired by women or high value; is going to get desperate for sex because he is not ‘full’ within himself.

His life is lacking already, so any easy perceived opportunity means a lot to him. Does that make sense?

SECRETS REVEALED… Discover how you too can use this little known “Dark Feminine Art” to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it’s gone.)

Are You Attracting Desperate Men?

The worry really is: Why did you attract this particular man into your life?

If you have a man who always seems to be looking around for sexier women…then you have a legitimate concern.

What should you do?

Well, we need to first of all acknowledge that

  1. He may not be a good catch (maybe he’s even toxic), or
  2. He needs to feel more abundant feminine and sexual energy from you.

Here’s an article I have for you on How to be More Feminine: 18 Ways of a Soft, Feminine Woman.

Sometimes, some men are losers.

Other times, (more often than we’d like to admit), we are not taking enough responsibility in our relationship to give him the value that he wants.

Instead of offering value, we get stuck in worry, fear and blaming him.

We Must Consider Why We Attract The Type Of Man That We Attract

If you do have a man who is always sleazing around…why is he in your life?

The answer is possibly because you are desperate for something as well — maybe attention… maybe variety… maybe the (so-called) security of having just any man around.

Maybe you’ve felt your whole life that you’re undeserving of a high value man.

Or maybe somebody unfairly made you feel inferior to other women (which is never true).

So you feel deprived on some level that you don’t get enough attention, which is why the first man who seems to give attention to you, will do.

It’s not your fault. It’s just what you’re going through.

But once you become aware of this belief and relax into the reality that it doesn’t serve you, you can dismantle it.

Then you can start showing up in ways that better express your true worth — and attract better men.

Regarding the bikini car wash:

Would you be surprised if I told you that men would look with the same concentration at a row of 10 rabbits running across the road?

And that they’d look with the same level of detachment and lack of emotion?

If it does surprise you or make you angry, or you just  don’t want to believe me, that’s OK.

That’s what we do as women.

We make things big in our minds, and we want to be reassured and convinced.

Now let’s take a look at how men think in relationships, and then talk about the 5 new insights on men that will ease your worries.

understanding men: 5 insights on men to ease your worries

What Qualities Do Men Want In A Relationship?

They want a woman who is:

  • Willing to be open to them. Specifically, open to their thoughts, ideas, and desires for intimacy (that’s intimacy, which doesn’t always have to involve sex!)
  • A woman who exhibits loyalty. There’s nothing worse for a man who is invested in a relationship with a woman who is showing all the signs of being disloyal to him.
  • A woman who shows that she’s a part of the team, rather than always trying to extract value from the man.
  • A woman who puts connection first, not rejection, hatred, resentment or criticism.
  • A woman who shows that she appreciates him.
  • A woman who will trust him and be willing to be owned by him. 
  • A woman who enjoys being feminine (and masculine if the situation calls for it) and takes good care of her mental and physical health.

What A Man Needs From A Woman? 

He needs everything that he cannot get by himself alone, or pay someone else to do for him. For instance, he cannot pay someone to care for him, love him, accept him or believe in him. 

Put another way, if a man can pay a woman to do something for him, then it’s probably not worth investing in a relationship for. 

Contrary to popular belief, men don’t hate commitment – they hate committing to the wrong woman. Men actually love to commit to the right woman. And the right woman gives him the two crucial emotional experiences in a relationship:

Emotional attraction and emotional connection. 

How To Understand Men: 5 Insights On Men To Ease Your Worries

Right now, I’m going to share those five insights about men you should know before worrying yourself sick.

#1: Men Judge You Far Less Than You Think They Do.

Most of the time, it does not serve men to judge women.

It only serves a man to judge a woman when the woman is obviously showing up very low value (and he needs to deflect her from his life ASAP).

More often than not, men are not judging you.

Men don’t think of you the way other women might think of you. In fact, it has been proven by scientists that women have consistently higher levels of disgust than men.

And this sex difference is apparent in a wide array of outcomes. For example, mate choice, job selection, food aversions, and psychological disorders.

I’ve long observed that men are overall less disgusted, turned off and therefore less judgemental than women. Women’s threshold for disgust is simply lower.

Yes, I do believe the fact that women are more easily disgusted than men ties into women being more judgemental.

And other women can be harsh with their judgements of other women, because of competition.

Women sometimes need to look at the flaws or inadequacies of other women.

They do this so that they can alert themselves, and the men in their lives, of the imperfections of other women: their competition.

Women then use this information to denigrate their rivals and avoid losing access to their man.

With women, the smaller she feels, the more she needs to be judgmental in order to keep threats at bay.

Do the quiz: how commitment friendly is my man?


Fact: Some men will string you along for as long as you will tolerate and never fully commit to you. Answer these 8 questions to discover precisely how commitment friendly your man is.

1. When I speak to other guys, and give attention to other men...

2. How willing is he to have a fight or argument with me?

3. What is his relationship with his father like?

4. When I first started dating him, he mentioned commitment & long term relationships

5. How many long term committed relationships has he had? 

6. How often does he push for sex?

7. How keen is he to introduce you to his friends and family

8. How much effort has he shown you that he wants to learn about your friends and family? 

Amazing! Let's look at your results...

We are analysing your quiz results right now and preparing a comprehensive summary. (It's a 15 min read)

In your personalised results email, we will also give you free advice and coaching to help you inspire a deep sense of emotional commitment from the man of your choice, even if you've had no luck with men so far.

Please enter your first name and email below so that we can safely deliver your results and explanation to you. (As well as give you $3,765 worth of coaching bonuses!) And yes, we'll treat your email like it was our firstborn.


it Doesn’t Make Sense For Men To Judge Women

…Unless they already see her as low value.

Biologically it doesn’t make sense for men to engage in judgement of women, because if a man is really judgemental, then he will lose sexual access to women.

And sexual access to women isn’t always easy or available to most men (Women mostly call the shots when it comes to sex).

He is likely more worried about whether you’re open to having sex with him, or if he has feelings for you.

He’s more worried about impressing you.

And, he’s also probably already forgotten that silly thing you said, shortly after you said it.

This is because masculine men are generally more interested in having sex with you and/or enjoying being around your beautiful energy than they are focused on judging you.

Now, if you know me and my work at all, you know that I firmly believe there are very few absolute truths in life, and that everything is contextual.

So I want to clarify, and say that yes, some men will judge you – but most men won’t.

And you will feel that if you just pause, allow yourself to be attuned, and feel where he is at.

The men who actually spend time judging you and talking negatively about you are usually the world’s smallest men.

They are not the rule.

They are just jaded, emotionally closed, and perhaps fearful men who wouldn’t try to court you anyway, out of fear of rejection.

That wasn’t me judging men….that is just how it is.

From early on, masculine men spend their entire lives trying to gain skills.

They need skills in order to be enough to be worthy of a high-value, high-status woman’s attention.

In fact, I have three sons, and to my shock, my oldest son began impressing girls from the young age of….have a guess?

Just two years old!

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.


How does a man’s mind work?

This is how a man’s mind works:

Be a superstar. Find women.

The end.

Yep. That’s about it. At least in the context of relationships, anyway.

Here’s a longer version of that:

If I want to be worthy enough to get a woman and keep her long-term, I have to prove myself, and earn respect by making enough money, being funny enough, strong enough, etc.

See, as women, we don’t have to do nearly as much to get sex and attention.

To get an emotional commitment, that takes a lot more as a woman. But to get sex or easy, cheap attention? We literally have to do nothing for that.

But it’s not the same for men.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent quite a considerable amount of time in your life trying to do things to get a man’s attention, when you could have worried a lot less, simply enjoyed yourself, and that would have done the job.

Because men don’t care about all the little details you think they do, or judge you for them.

As far as I can tell, men will much more likely just be indifferent to you than they will give a damn about judging you.

They may not even care about you because they’ve already met their one and only.

#2: Men Don’t Leave You Because You Weren’t Good Enough

Men leave for many reasons, but mostly it comes down to how they feel when they are with you.

They usually leave because there was no good reason to stay with you.

Meaning, the relationship didn’t add enough value to their life that it was worth staying in.

Sometimes men leave because they felt bad enough about themselves around you enough times that it was time to call it quits.

Remember this: commitment naturally takes value from men. Much in the same way as men’s consistent, seemingly never-ending desire to have sex with a woman can take value from women.

For a committed relationship to be worth it to a man, it has to add value to his life.

And that means he needs to be with a woman who is emotionally free, who lets herself be high value, and whom he is emotionally attracted to.

(Physical attraction is never enough for a man to get into a committed relationship with a woman).

On the topic of getting a man to commit, did you know that there is one specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to WANT to commit to one woman, take care of her, worship her and only her? Check out this one specific emotional trigger here.

men don't actually want you to hold everything in

#3: Men Don’t Actually Want You To Hold Your Emotions In

Most women, when they are initially dating a man in the first months or years, feel that they have to pretend nothing happened when something upsets them badly.

They want to hide these emotions from a man because they subconsciously believe that if he were to know how she really feels, then he would not love her or be with her anymore.

Truth is, yes, some men will leave you (or even abuse you) if you feel and express your emotions.

That’s the first sign you should leave him.

But most men would not leave you for feeling emotions.

In fact, it’s actually your ability to feel and embody your primary emotions that will allow him to relate to you.

Related: Should I Control My Emotions To Be High Value?

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

You Don’t Have To “Act” Like A Cool Woman All The Time

So, if you are of the belief (unconsciously or consciously) that you you have to act cool and not feel around men, move on from this terrible belief, and do something silly — like actually expressing yourself!

Now, please. Do not treat this as an opportunity to simply unleash all your old resentment and hatred onto a man. This borders on abuse. And plenty of women abuse men every day with their bursts of toxic, pent up emotions.

Don’t take this overboard if you have only had one date with a man.

You need time to prove your value to each other before you can even think about unleashing “the crazy.”

But believe it or not, soon enough, if a man is masculine and you have attracted this masculine man into your life, he won’t mind you expressing yourself vulnerably and authentically in the moment.

In fact, he’ll mind your holding everything in!

Holding things in is not good if you want a commitment, and it’s not good if you want your man to be a better man.

If you would like to learn more about how to express yourself vulnerable and authentically, see my article on how to be vulnerable without being NEEDY.

Understanding Men Tip: It’s Not Attractive To Hold Back Your Responsiveness

Or pretend you don’t feel anything.

It is also not attractive to pretend you don’t have intense feelings in response to him.

Holding emotions in, or withholding your responsiveness is like not letting yourself do a sh*t. You can only do it for so long until…it all bursts out in a horribly epic manner.

Yes, feelings work like this. You have feelings whether you like it or not – and holding them in all the time is disrespecting yourself.

Sometimes, unleashing your feelings is inevitable (because you can’t keep a sh*t from 2 weeks ago inside permanently).

And unfortunately, you have to go through that stage in order to become more responsive in real time and calibrated in your relationship.

I just dearly hope that your man is not on the receiving end of a vile outburst that carries resentment or emotions from 5, 10 or 20 years ago (that may not even be about him!)

Your responsiveness is actually one of the things that men find most attractive about you, among other things…

What Do Men Find Most Attractive In A Woman? 

#4: If He Doesn’t Do What You Want, It’s Because Of This

…He doesn’t understand how or why you need it. He needs to “get” it in his thick brain how essential it is to you.

I know this seems like I’m finding justifications for men. You may also think this means I’m putting the blame on you.

No, not at all. In fact, when I discovered this, it felt like a gift, a well-kept secret, and a reason not to worry.

When I discovered this, to me it felt like: Thank God, maybe many men actually do want to be there for you? They want to be your hero? And this is not just your boyfriend, but even male friends and relatives, too!

What a novel concept that other women could never tell you!

Men respond most to primary emotion. Ie: men respond to raw emotion and vulnerability.

If there’s something that you need so much that is makes you cry genuinely, then he will be more likely to get what you need for you.

By the way, this is how I got one of my clients to get her man to marry her! I taught her to say these 3 simple words and he married her in 7 days. I am not even joking. Join in on this class my husband and I taught to hear how she did it.

Raw emotion works. You’re best to speak his language if you care. Raw emotion speaks to him the most.

The only catch: Men don’t want to be there for an unresponsive woman!

Women who don’t reward them with their responsiveness or feminine energy.

So, respond or reward your man — through your eyes, your gestures, your body movements, and your smile — basically, with your willingness to stay connected in love.

Just beware: The longer that you have withheld your responsiveness or gratitude…the longer you have withheld your happiness and loving energy from a man, the longer the path you will have to regain his trust.

#5: Men Wish YOU Understood Them Deeply.

When you put your focus on understanding men, then it becomes easy for you to become a high value woman.

Not only that, when you learn how to understand men, you also stop worrying.

Understanding men means that you can have the freedom to stop feeling, or getting hurt and upset all the time.

When you’re hurt and upset all the time, you can’t be present and your feminine energy doesn’t show up. You’re tight and controlling. And that is not pleasant from a man’s perspective — or anyone’s perspective, especially your own.

And look: When you understand men, men find it easier to give you what you need, and be the men you want them to be for you.

There is an incredible allure to women who understand men. Because these women are usually higher value, less defensive, and more radiant because of the lowered stress that comes from understanding men.

Men are drawn to this kind of allure like bees to honey, and they want to commit to you just to own that allure — to own your soul for life.

By the way here’s a top article my husband wrote for you on 5 Things Every Woman Ought to Know About Men.

Understanding Men Is More Powerful Than Makeup & A Slimmer Body

The key to getting that genuine commitment from a high-caliber man is not make-up. It is not a slimmer body.

These are the feminine brain’s solution! What men care about is a woman’s energy.

Remember that! Open your eyes… and take a look around at all the attractive, successful men committed to far less attractive, perhaps jobless, and perhaps very overweight women!

The key to men is actually understanding men.

You see, men who are masculine at their core (about 80 percent of the males in the world, according to various researchers) often don’t have many words.

Especially when it comes to their feelings.

They don’t talk all that much about how they feel, and many don’t even understand what that word means in many contexts. which is like a foreign planet for you and I!

We get feelings, and we can speak about them well. But when you try to talk to a man about them, he might just go quiet or look blankly back at you.

What Can I Do Now?

You can’t turn him into a woman, so the very best thing you can do is to put the love, thought and care into learning about understanding men.

The more you are willing to do this, the more that men will approach you for the right reasons (not for sex), and the quicker relationships will start to fall into place for you.

Now I want to make you an offer. I want you to experience the freedom, self-confidence and joy that I have through understanding men.

So here’s what I’ve done: I’ve created a course on this very subject with my husband. It’s designed for you to become the goddess you were destined to be with men, and it will eliminate your anxiety, confusion and mistakes with any man.

I invite you to join me and my other members in the exclusive Members Area, where you can start Understanding Men. Click here to read more about this popular program.

Frequently Asked Questions On How To Understand Men

How Do Men Think When They Are In Love? 

When a man is in love, he cannot stop thinking about you.

However, from another point of view, it’s possible that they probably aren’t actually thinking a whole lot, at least not when you look at it from the perspective of the woman they are in love with.

This is because when a man is in love, his brain is hijacked and he is overcome with an overwhelming desire to be with the woman emotionally and physically. 

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

How Do Men Understand Dating?

Men essentially put women into two different categories.

You’re either in their ‘one and only’ basket (in which case, no other woman could ever compare, because you’ve already formed that pair bond with him).

Or, you’re in the one of many basket.

And if you’re his one of many woman, then he wouldn’t compare you to other women anyway.

This is because being the one of many woman means that in his mind, you’re not better than any of the others.

You’re just one of 100 cupcakes on offer. Thus, you’re just like a different flavour of cupcake icing….

Not better, not worse…

Just different.

That’s how men think about a woman who is in their one of many basket. Here are 6 Signs He Really Likes You.

How Does A Man In Love Behave? 

He behaves like Noah behaved in the movie The Notebook – if he’s an emotionally healthy man. 

A man in love will protect the woman he loves, feel what she feels, and provide everything he possibly can to make her feel safe, happy and loved. 

Watch these scenes from the movie ‘The notebook’ for examples…

What Men Look For In A Woman Physically? 

Every man has his own unique preferences. However, truth be told, there are some universal truths surrounding what men seek in a woman physically. Here are the things men look for that are universal:

  • Great skin. (This signifies superior inner health).
  • Good posture (signifies healthy emotional and physical state).
  • A waist to hip ratio of between 0.67 to 0.8
  • Healthy gait.
  • A good smile.

Ultimately, the best thing you could aim for to be physically appealing to men, is to be at your absolute healthiest, because when you’re at your healthiest, that’s when everything else naturally falls into place.

True inner health is how your body aligns everything else to make you show up as a physically attractive woman.

What Do Men Want In A Woman? 

The bottom line is the men want a woman of value (to men). If a man is going to invest in a woman, then she better exhibit the 3 traits of what makes a high value woman. 

Men want women who exhibit the following:

  • A woman who is willing to trust in his direction.
  • A woman who enjoys intimacy, connection and sex.
  • A woman who is maternal in nature.
  • A woman who allows him to be all of him without judgement, criticism or blame.
  • A woman who shows a general state of happiness. Ie: she doesn’t hold onto depression or anger just for attention or for the purpose of making him suffer. Women don’t have to be happy all the time, as that wouldn’t be real. But she is higher value if her emotional equilibrium doesn’t revolve around resentment or apathy.

Why Do Guys Push You Away When They Like You? 

Sometimes they push you away because they know they cannot give you the investment you need in order to be happy in a relationship.

Other times, they push you away because they are afraid. Specifically, they are afraid of not being enough for you, or afraid that you will betray them. 

Finally, you must also know that the reason why guys push you away when they like you may be an uncomfortable one: perhaps you’re not the right woman for him, or he doesn’t like you enough to commit.

MORE: Why Men Pull Away & How to Be High Value.

Usually, if you present with high value, it’s much more likely that a guy will not push you away, but rather, not be able to keep away from you.

It’s when you suck value from him (show up low value) that most men will run the other way.

CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.) 

Why Do Guys Distance Themselves From A Girl They Like?

Because women need a lot from guys that they may not feel ready to give. Other reasons guys distance themselves could be because:

  • They need to pursue goals that make them feel like a man (so that they can feel like they are enough for you).
  • They need to live their life in a way that allows them the freedom they desire (and they cannot live if that way if they get too close to you).
  • Because they cannot be in the relationship realm for as long as you can.

    Men by default are not as relationship-oriented as women are, even if they do value relationships. Their equilibrium errs more on the side of solving problems, achieving goals and earning the respect of others (like yours for example!)

    On this same topic, here are 7 Undercover Reasons Why Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy.

The other not often discussed reason why guys distance themselves form a girl they like is because perhaps they don’t like her enough. If his emotional feelings for her were intense enough, you would literally not be able to push him away. 

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… If you want to learn how to show up as the “one and only” woman, Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

Over To You!

Finally, it’s over to you now. Do you have any insights to share on men? We learn best from each other, so please share your insights and thoughts in the comments below!

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

High Value Women Group

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Send this to a friend