How & Why You Should Surrender To The Masculine Energy

There’s no denying it; the masculine energy is intense. In fact, masculine energy is sometimes scary, from a woman’s perspective.

Of course, I won’t neglect to acknowledge that many modern women won’t relate to this notion. Some may not think masculine energy can be intense or even scary at times.

Whilst feminism has done some great things for us, the obsession with women being just as capable as men comes with its costs.

Encouraging women to focus firstly on being high achievers and dominant in their careers has also made women quite domineering with a tendency to castrate men with a single look.

Can you say ‘Ball-Breakers’?

(Click here to download the “Goddess Report”)

You don’t want to be a ball-breaker. Some women think this is really cool; to have a man’s “balls in a jar”.

It’s not.

It destroys the virility and spirit in men. When I was in Law School, girls used to talk about how some powerful women had their man by the balls, and they really believed it was a great thing!

It’s great that women can be strong too, but honestly, it is actually quite insulting – it’s not funny. And women being ball breakers is a real problem.

Masculine Energy

Masculine and feminine energy in relationships

I know that in this day and age, the idea of “stereotypes” is not encouraged. Neither is the notion of gender differences.

In fact, some people believe that there shouldn’t be gender differences at all. That there ought to just be ‘people’.

(Does anyone smell a rat here? A possible political motive behind such information?)

Yes, we are all people, but there exists in every one of us, a combination of two energies. Masculine and feminine.

Some women are more masculine at their core, but most are not. Men have feminine energy as well.

All humans need a good balance of both, otherwise they cannot be whole.

However, most leading experts in this area suggest this: most females are feminine at their core, and most males are masculine at their core.

This post is a follow-up from my popular article, ‘How to Be Submissive For Love’. So be sure to scoot over to that article when it suits you if you haven’t yet read it.

Also, you might want to check out this deep discussion I had with my husband on masculine versus feminine energy…(because there are so many damaging ideas out there about what feminine energy actually is nowadays.)

True femininity surrenders

Whilst many women understand femininity and the role that it has, very few ever manage to truly surrender to a man’s masculine energy, and finally be free.

I want to start by indicating that much of a woman’s inability to ‘surrender’ so-to-speak, is to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships (when I say power struggle, I mean in terms of egos battling in a relationship).

Many people don’t want to ‘make the first move’, they don’t want to say ‘I love you’ too often, be vulnerable to their lover or show love as often as they should because they fear that the other person may then have more ‘power’, or ‘control’ of the situation.

This doesn’t just happen in relationships – it happens in friendships as well. And, it is a common trait among women these days. Men do this, too.

But I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that, as a group of women in this modern age, many are taught to be independent and ‘strong’, and have the ability to be unemotional and to ‘not be hurt’.

As if feeling hurt would mean they were emotionally vulnerable or something.

But it is this exact invulnerability that makes it near impossible for women women to find and keep a boyfriend.

When women are invulnerable in a relationship, they cannot fulfil their man’s emotional and sexual fantasies.

Much like when a man cannot read a map or cannot make any decisions could never satisfy a woman in a relationship!

(She would always feel like she could get better.)

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Hurt and Pain is a part of life

The reality is that no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come.

Pain is a part of life. And it’s good to feel it (as well as share it). The more you push it down, the more it comes back out in pathological ways.

It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty (and I mean REAL honesty, not insensitive bluntness disguised as honesty) and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged. 

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

Dating A Masculine Energy Man: You Need Feminine Surrender

…And your feminine energy and high value vulnerability is one of the things that makes him fall in love.

Without your feminine surrender, you cannot have real polarity and passion in a relationship.

Related: Mistakes Women Make To Destroy Sexual Polarity With Men.

This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’.

Some take it further and assume the idea that ‘the man is oppressing the woman’, and that the woman is WEAK.

This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it might seem like she is ‘weak’, but she is actually being smart and strong.


Because without vulnerability, she isn’t real.

Not only that, but it’s very hard for men to connect to a woman who is not vulnerable, much less want to commit to her!

So this is not about a man wanting to control a woman.

See, in a healthy relationship, there is no such thing as power or control.

Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart.

…And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy.

The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and willing to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other.

I won’t deny that it IS hard for women to be truly feminine in today’s society, because there are lots of terribly egocentric people around, and once they see vulnerability – they will step all over it. Especially women!

In fact, women are the worst to other women.

If you look carefully, it is sometimes the closed off, fearful type of woman who senses vulnerability in a more feminine woman and tramples all over it.

But, given the masculine energy, no feminine woman has to be afraid, if she has or is able to attract a masculine man into her life because she knows that he is there to protect her if and when she needs it.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

Surrendering to Masculine energy

The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy is this:

It’s about not always having to become more masculine to survive as a woman in the situations where there’s no need to be in survival mode.

The idea behind surrendering to masculine energy is no longer fearing it and needing to stand up to it or fight it.

But rather, to trust it, let it protect you and to actually let it have its own role in your life.

That’s what it’s there for. A lot of men do use their masculine energy in a very bad way (rape, sexual mental or emotional abuse).

But, we are not looking to attract these types of men.

Whilst you should always be alert and aware of that type of man, we need to nourish and encourage the men who use their masculine energy for the better.

Here are 7 Burning Signs A Man is Being Low Value.

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

What Does Surrendering To Masculine Energy Mean?

Surrendering means letting go. It means trusting and letting a man (or woman) take care of you when you need it.

It’s also about letting him in and liberating yourself from your fears.

Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. But, this does not always mean you must have sex to express this energy, not at all!! Sexual energy encompasses the mind, body, soul and spirit.

So many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.

But, any normal person knows and understands that having sex is a part of life, and it’s there to be enjoyed. Human beings are made to procreate!

(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)

When you are dating a masculine man…

You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in.

Femininity is beautiful, and provided a man is in love, any masculine man will live AND die for it.

My man tells me that the masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly.

All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him.

Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire (get them and watch them if you haven’t already) 🙂

The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.

Here’s a general principle:

The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man.

Don’t take this to mean that all masculine men will care about you, because that’s actually not true.

The masculine men you know may want to be helpful to you, they may want easy sex with you, but for a masculine man to truly care, he has to be emotionally connected to you and pair bonded to you.

So if you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness in your relationship, then you must be willing to let go of the past hurts.

Perhaps ask yourself is you’re ready to let go of the pains from your past?

Can you let go of the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you (or the women), let go of your need to be ‘in control’, and let go of the need to be ‘strong‘ and vicious?

Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life.

Or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.

how to stay high value

Resisting his masculine energy

Don’t resist the masculine energy.

At times, it may seem like a man is angry, moody, or intense and perhaps these things may scare you or cause YOU to become more defensive (read: angry, resentful, pushy or even aggressive.)

Instead, despite how intense or intimidating he may seem, smile to yourself and know where it all comes from.

Feel confident that the feminine energy CAN and always will be able to handle the masculine energy. And not only HANDLE it but inspire it, drive it, and influence it!

Disclaimer: I’m referring specifically to when you’re in a relationship here.

See, there are plenty of reasons and contexts in which you may want to resist a man. When there’s no trust or connection established with a guy, why would you want to let him in just for the sake of it?

Yet it’s important not to resist his masculine energy, dark or light masculine energy in your relationship.

The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your love life or dating life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of.

And, your man will be so smitten by you and the purpose you give him that he would never want to leave. (There are definitely other big purposes and roles in a man’s life, other than the life he has with his woman; and I do acknowledge this of course).

Surrender with love, acceptance and openness completely and fully to the masculine energy.

Whilst a woman has her ‘ocean of emotion’, the man should understand this and be her rock during these times.

If a man lives in his masculine, he equally understands his responsibility and treats a woman’s vulnerabilities and emotions with strength and understanding.

A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. Remember this when you feel resistance and tension in your relationship.

If you are both in a bad state, remember that you can break a man’s state and get you both into a more resourceful and loving place.

Bad states, arguments or tension can be broken by one or both of you working to bring out your true core (whether masculine or feminine) and remove the masks.

This also helps to create positive associations. Relationships break down because of too much negative association that outweighs the positive association.

Related: 5 “Must-Follow” Rules For Dating & Relationships For Women.

Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!

Masculine feminine polarity

It’s like the positive and negative charges.

This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen, if what you want is to experience emotional and sexual attraction.

Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family.

If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex and polarity is so important in a relationship.

If polarity and sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman other than friendship. You become more like housemates or companions.

And, really – most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate.

And, intimacy is not just about sex.

You must give your presence to a man in order to make your man feel important.

As a mother I know how hard it is to make time for your relationship at times.

(I would say I know firsthand how hard it is to put your husband first. Babies pretty much steal mom away completely, because they need it to grow and survive.)

Yet you owe it to yourself to make sure you are able to put him first at times.

Just so that he isn’t always feeling second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. (Women always find things to worry about or think about!) 🙂

How to be feminine in a relationship

So even though this may sound kind of cheesy – let your hair down, be a little crazy and out of control.

Feel deeply, love vulnerably and maybe even have a good laugh or giggle about something that isn’t even that funny.

Here’s a table I made to help you identify the differences between the masculine and feminine.

Masculine VS Feminine

Let go of control! That’s the number one step for being feminine in a relationship.

Cry about something you’ve been meaning to for ages. Learn to love and appreciate others, rather than criticizing or turning your nose up at things.

Even if someone behaves in ways you don’t agree with, there’s always something to understand or appreciate about their behaviour. (Eg: They are behaving badly, but they are just trying to do the best for themselves.)

Revel in freedom and learn to LOVE and enjoy men and the role that they have.

If you’re single, you’ll attract them like you wouldn’t believe!

If you’re taken, you will still get interest too, but most importantly – you will have the most amazing relationship.

Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men. And I mean genuinely. I don’t mean the kind of woman who just wants to sleep around. I mean true appreciation and acceptance of masculinity.

By the way, you can discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment by reading this. 

And, I’d like to leave off with this quote:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”


I hope you enjoyed this article. 🙂 Do share with me below your challenges with surrendering in a relationship.

Have a lovely day!

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

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Sasha Rose
Sasha Rose

Your butch comment is offensive, ignorant, and disgusting. I am a very feminine lesbian, and I only date stone butches (very masculine lesbians). They do not trample on feminine women. Butches embrace and adore their femme counterparts and typically, as long as the butch is healthy, will not do anything harmful on purpose. It’s the same as with men, except that butch women have menstrual cycles (and understand women’s bodies better from personal experience), are usually kinder, express love directly more often, and don’t go bald. I was on track with some of your writing tips, because I believe in… Read more »


Your pretty much on the money… the more submissive a women is in the bedroom with her real lover ( husbands or long time relationship ) the more the men goes nuts and does whatever it takes to please her sexually and financially Its a huge turn on for a dominant men sexually when his lover accepts his request or makes his fantasies happen… If hes a whack job in space with his requests or fetishes, hes probably off deep down emotionally, and not worth it as a man, im telling you, when wifey does these things, i go wild… Read more »


When I was getting to know my boyfriend, I felt resistance in my body and mind. It was powerful. I really was scared to let him in and share my heart. I felt like a wild horse. but somehow I gave in and let myself trust him. Its still an ongoing process. but it can feel like death when you feel those walls coming down. But the love I feel for him is deeper now.


Great article. I need to learn how to be a man and a nice guy at the same time.


I have to admit, as a beginning gedaenrr, I did have that cosmos prejudice that you talk about in . Guess it comes from every single person in my hood planting their tree squares with the Exact. Same. Variety. You just get bored of seeing the same thing all the time, you know? Little did I know that there’s more to cosmos than the basic kind.


I can’t help but to laugh because that is how I felt when I was first told to be submissive. I thought that it meant that I had to put me aside and only do what my hubby wants me too. That outlook was wrong and in reading this article it states that we are here to compliment one another. We were created differently for a reason a man is masculine and a female is feminine. I love everything about it because it does not say loose yourself in admiring your man but use the tools given to you to… Read more »


Hello Renae, Thank you so much for your words, they make a lot of sense. I am an engineer and have struggled for years on how to properly show my feminine energy. I have endured two failed marriages and it is time to stop and figure out the problem. I want to show this beautiful energy to the men in my life and make them feel strong, competant, loved, and respected. Your article is very convincing on the concept of allowing ourselves to reveal our energy, can you provide a method to accomplish it and more examples of how a… Read more »


This article fails so much.. but I guess it’s because I’m a transgender man who hasn’t transitioned and is pissed about this stuff. Maybe if I was a ciswoman who related to women I would actually not see this for the idiotic gender-binary nonsense that it is. Why does everyone think that MEN are ENTITLED to this so-caled “‘masculine’ energy”? Why is it “masculine” to be strong, independent, have fun, invent, play video games, sports (other competitive games), enjoy science and math, win at stuff and to be “feminine” is to be some boring, spineless submissive that stays in the… Read more »

Michele K
Michele K

Thank you, I was amazed to find an article that articulated my beliefs so well. I am 44 and want to find a relationship with a man who welcomes a submissive woman. I hope that it’s not too late for me.


As a stereotypical “alpha male” and “mans man”, I have to say I found this article to be incredibly wise and insightful. In an age where our society emasculates men, and truly feminine women are becoming an endangered species, I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to see a woman who really “gets” it. This is an outstanding article and should be required reading for every woman who aspires to have a happy, joyful and fulfilled relationship. There are just too many highlights for me to single out as every word rings true. What a relief to know that… Read more »

Michele K
Michele K
Reply to  David

You’re exactly right. I was raised with 2 sisters by parents who taught us “equality” and am, by their judgement, a great success in life. I have children and am a single mother with a home of my own, and appear to be juggling everything so well. But I am completely unfulfilled and I am positive that this is why. I need to undo all of the lessons that sounded like “Anything he can do, she can do better.”

Reply to  David

I like this guy. Bwahaha “Hey look at me, I’m a *stereotypical* alpha male, man’s man” (!)
Quite an alpha, innit! It’s gonna be my entry line anywhere.


Another beautiful post, Renee. I consider myself a feminist, I’m self-sufficient, confident and definitely don’t think any of these have to be mutually exclusive. These are things I’m coming to realize in my life as true and a path towards higher grounds and happiness. But you put it so eloquently.


“you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life”

Renee, almost certain? 🙂


u are welcome dear. ♥


Wow this was a very interesting post. I found it informative though a tad late LOL. Should have seen this forty years ago LOL 🙂

And other then Ashley [who obviously has a hate on for someone] I also found most of the comments rather refreshing and informative as well. 🙂

Keep up the good work here. It is appreciated. Even if you can’t edit out the bad parts. 🙂


I read this article and another one of yours…and they made me want to cry. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being a strong woman–who is dominant. I know plenty of dominant women who love their men and their relationships work just fine. There is such a thing as a submissive man, you know. Or just a man and a woman in a relationship. One doesn’t have to be a dominant or submissive (to which there is no assigned gender, as an addition). That’s why they’re called “partners”. Equality? What you speak of doesn’t allow for equality. The… Read more »

Reply to  Ashley

You sound like a stereotypical feminazi. Chip on your shoulder because certain men abused you and your mom. You are NOT a real woman. Deep down all women want a strong masculine man who can provide, protect and care for them. There are plenty of intelligent women with Phds who excel in the world but are not afraid to be a woman in the relationship. Feminism is a dieing fad. Renee actually has a law degree and does not emasculate her man. Men and women are equal but not the same. It is all biological instincts.

Reply to  brock

Um…and yet, you’re completely wrong. I *am* the woman in the relationship. The only one, in fact. The submissive one. You must have missed that part of my reply. I don’t emasculate any man. But I refuse to “bow down” to all men and do not believe that women are in any way inferior to men. And, I’m sorry, but how could you possibly empathize with the plight of women? I get sympathizing, sure, but unless you are in my shoes, living my life, or living all the lives of all the women in the world, you can’t possibly speak… Read more »

Reply to  brock

By the way, l would LOVE to know what you think a REAL woman is? Please, enlighten me.

Reply to  Ashley

Ashley, You quote my post, yet you paraphrase it to make it suit your misandristic views. What I said relates to the condition of being a human, male and female. Being an intelligent, free thinking and educated Darwinist, I believe that humans are still animals in a base state driven by their primal hard wiring. Read my post again and tell me how I have offended women or put them down. We are all functioning off a base program that runs deeper than any psychologist can unravel. Women and men look for traits in a partner that offset their own… Read more »

Reply to  Rob

You are certainly entitled to your opinions, Rob. I am not a hardcore Darwinist, and therefore, do not agree with most of what you have said. I do agree that to a point, humans can be animalistic. Just because we are different in certain ways (and I still say what we have in common outnumbers what we don’t) does not mean in any way that a woman is supposed to submit or be inferior. That is what I took from the articles I have read on here, and that is what my true problem is. Forgive me if I misunderstood… Read more »

Reply to  Ashley

Dearest Sweetheart Ashley… I’m sorry for your pain. If i could take all your pain away, I would. I know it’s been unfair for you and yet despite, you educated yourself and remained passionate when most would have quit. You have a very strong fighting spirit, you must have overcome enormous obstacles in the past. You needed to be strong when things got tough. Nobody is criticizing the way you live and the decisions you’ve made. We can’t, none of us has ever been in your shoes. I know you stand for justice, and “Fair”ness is a HUGE thing in… Read more »

Reply to  Hank

Let’s see…I watched the Sound of Music a month ago, I sing every day, I love to paint, and I am in a relationship with a man that I love dearly–who helped me learn what safe means and continues to do so. He reminds me every day how lucky I am to be with him. My fighting spirit I got from my mother. Blame her for my being a “bitch”. But I’m not ashamed of it. I’m proud. And when I have kids some day, I will pass that onto them as well. The reply I gave originally wasn’t to… Read more »

Reply to  Ashley

By default women want strong masculine men who provide, protect and care for her. It is her biological instinct. Deep down all women feel this way. You just have to strip down the layers of social conditioning from feminists who try to brainwash girls into believing they are weak for being a feminine woman.

Reply to  Ashley

Ashley and her mom were abused. That is why she is a man hating feminist. She is a weak little girl that puts up a defense barrier against men because of the past. She cannot surrender to men because she feels weak and vulnerable around a strong masculine man.

Reply to  Ashley

Hello everone, please hold your fire, I come in peace 😉 I can’t help but mentioning a few things that came to my mind when I read this conversation/argument. First of all, Brock: Could you (and everybody else in the whole wide world for that matter) please, please, PLEASE stop with this feminazi nonsense? I am German and it always makes me cringe when people throw around the word nazi in a context in which it does not belong and fit. It makes me wonder if these people know what this word means at all. Feminism and Naziism (is this… Read more »

Reply to  Sachmet

Nicely put Sachmet. You understood my meaning and you have expanded on this conversation beautifully. I understood Renee’s post much as you have explained it, so that is a good sign that it is the way she wanted it read! And I do agree, we men are strange creatures indeed, but women are just as strange! 😛

Reply to  Ashley



I really enjoyed your articles…my marriage is suffering and I cant for the life of me figure out what the problem is. But I do have a question and I know this may go against the being feminine to the core but how can you appeal to the man’s protectivness or leadership when you (the female) has to be the leader? How do you express in a non threatening way you need him?


Thanks so much!!! This has helped me get a new perspective on some things I am trying to attempt in my own life about becoming more femanine and submissive, especially in a godly way.



This might sound a bit strange but the most memorable time I’ve ever had sex was when I cried during it (not hysterically but I let my tears flow out without trying to stop them). It wasn’t that I was crying because of him, rather it had to do with letting myself go and letting him in. It triggered an emotional release and I was finally free from the binds that I thought were holding me together and I gave him myself freely. I told him a story with my body and feelings and went out of this world with… Read more »


Again i need to thank you 🙂
i like reading this one 🙂


Dearest Renee I feel personally, it does seem like you’re asking us to try a little too hard. There are just so many things to ‘do’ and ‘change’, and while perhaps some of us have been shaped to be un-feminine, you are telling us that we should re-mould ourselves AGAIN, this time to fit the ‘feminine form’. I really do love that you are trying so hard to help us all become better women and receive greater love, but after a few months of reading your blog and following your advice, I realized that I was slowly losing myself, who… Read more »

Reply to  Jwen

Hi Jwen! Thanks for your comment. That sounds like a great idea. That is my wish: for people to take what they want (what suits them) from my blogs, and leave the rest. Everyone is at a different stage of their lives – and in no way, ever, should ANYONE just follow everything somebody says, word-for-word. We all have to take what we want. The idea for readers of this blog (what I want) is for women to feel more free. Hence, like any blog, book, school of thought – one has to learn to think for themselves. And, unlike… Read more »

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