There’s no denying it; the masculine energy is intense. In fact, masculine energy is sometimes scary, from a woman’s perspective.
Of course, I won’t neglect to acknowledge that many modern women won’t relate to this notion. Some may not think masculine energy can be intense or even scary at times.
Whilst feminism has done some great things for us, the obsession with women being just as capable as men comes with its costs.
Encouraging women to focus firstly on being high achievers and dominant in their careers has also made women quite domineering with a tendency to castrate men with a single look.
Can you say ‘Ball-Breakers’?
You don’t want to be a ball-breaker. Some women think this is really cool; to have a man’s “balls in a jar”.
It destroys the virility and spirit in men. When I was in Law School, girls used to talk about how some powerful women had their man by the balls, and they really believed it was a great thing!
It’s great that women can be strong too, but honestly, it is actually quite insulting – it’s not funny. And women being ball breakers is a real problem.
Masculine and feminine energy in relationships
I know that in this day and age, the idea of “stereotypes” is not encouraged. Neither is the notion of gender differences.
In fact, some people believe that there shouldn’t be gender differences at all. That there ought to just be ‘people’.
(Does anyone smell a rat here? A possible political motive behind such information?)
Yes, we are all people, but there exists in every one of us, a combination of two energies. Masculine and feminine.
Some women are more masculine at their core, but most are not. Men have feminine energy as well.
All humans need a good balance of both, otherwise they cannot be whole.
However, most leading experts in this area suggest this: most females are feminine at their core, and most males are masculine at their core.
This post is a follow-up from my popular article, ‘How to Be Submissive For Love’. So be sure to scoot over to that article when it suits you if you haven’t yet read it.
Also, you might want to check out this deep discussion I had with my husband on masculine versus feminine energy…(because there are so many damaging ideas out there about what feminine energy actually is nowadays.)
True femininity surrenders
Whilst many women understand femininity and the role that it has, very few ever manage to truly surrender to a man’s masculine energy, and finally be free.
I want to start by indicating that much of a woman’s inability to ‘surrender’ so-to-speak, is to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships (when I say power struggle, I mean in terms of egos battling in a relationship).
Many people don’t want to ‘make the first move’, they don’t want to say ‘I love you’ too often, be vulnerable to their lover or show love as often as they should because they fear that the other person may then have more ‘power’, or ‘control’ of the situation.
This doesn’t just happen in relationships – it happens in friendships as well. And, it is a common trait among women these days. Men do this, too.
But I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that, as a group of women in this modern age, many are taught to be independent and ‘strong’, and have the ability to be unemotional and to ‘not be hurt’.
As if feeling hurt would mean they were emotionally vulnerable or something.
But it is this exact invulnerability that makes it near impossible for women women to find and keep a boyfriend.
When women are invulnerable in a relationship, they cannot fulfil their man’s emotional and sexual fantasies.
Much like when a man cannot read a map or cannot make any decisions could never satisfy a woman in a relationship!
(She would always feel like she could get better.)
Hurt and Pain is a part of life
The reality is that no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come.
Pain is a part of life. And it’s good to feel it (as well as share it). The more you push it down, the more it comes back out in pathological ways.
It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty (and I mean REAL honesty, not insensitive bluntness disguised as honesty) and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged.
Dating A Masculine Energy Man: You Need Feminine Surrender
…And your feminine energy and high value vulnerability is one of the things that makes him fall in love.
Without your feminine surrender, you cannot have real polarity and passion in a relationship.
This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’.
This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it might seem like she is ‘weak’, but she is actually being smart and strong.
Because without vulnerability, she isn’t real.
Not only that, but it’s very hard for men to connect to a woman who is not vulnerable, much less want to commit to her!
So this is not about a man wanting to control a woman.
See, in a healthy relationship, there is no such thing as power or control.
Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart.
…And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy.
The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and willing to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other.
I won’t deny that it IS hard for women to be truly feminine in today’s society, because there are lots of terribly egocentric people around, and once they see vulnerability – they will step all over it. Especially women!
In fact, women are the worst to other women.
If you look carefully, it is sometimes the closed off, fearful type of woman who senses vulnerability in a more feminine woman and tramples all over it.
But, given the masculine energy, no feminine woman has to be afraid, if she has or is able to attract a masculine man into her life because she knows that he is there to protect her if and when she needs it.
Surrendering to Masculine energy
The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy is this:
It’s about not always having to become more masculine to survive as a woman in the situations where there’s no need to be in survival mode.
The idea behind surrendering to masculine energy is no longer fearing it and needing to stand up to it or fight it.
But rather, to trust it, let it protect you and to actually let it have its own role in your life.
That’s what it’s there for. A lot of men do use their masculine energy in a very bad way (rape, sexual mental or emotional abuse).
But, we are not looking to attract these types of men.
Whilst you should always be alert and aware of that type of man, we need to nourish and encourage the men who use their masculine energy for the better.
What Does Surrendering To Masculine Energy Mean?
Surrendering means letting go. It means trusting and letting a man (or woman) take care of you when you need it.
It’s also about letting him in and liberating yourself from your fears.
Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. But, this does not always mean you must have sex to express this energy, not at all!! Sexual energy encompasses the mind, body, soul and spirit.
So many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.
But, any normal person knows and understands that having sex is a part of life, and it’s there to be enjoyed. Human beings are made to procreate!
(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)
When you are dating a masculine man…
You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in.
Femininity is beautiful, and provided a man is in love, any masculine man will live AND die for it.
My man tells me that the masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly.
All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him.
Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire (get them and watch them if you haven’t already) 🙂
The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.
Here’s a general principle:
The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man.
Don’t take this to mean that all masculine men will care about you, because that’s actually not true.
The masculine men you know may want to be helpful to you, they may want easy sex with you, but for a masculine man to truly care, he has to be emotionally connected to you and pair bonded to you.
So if you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness in your relationship, then you must be willing to let go of the past hurts.
Perhaps ask yourself is you’re ready to let go of the pains from your past?
Can you let go of the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you (or the women), let go of your need to be ‘in control’, and let go of the need to be ‘strong‘ and vicious?
Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life.
Or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.
Resisting his masculine energy
Don’t resist the masculine energy.
At times, it may seem like a man is angry, moody, or intense and perhaps these things may scare you or cause YOU to become more defensive (read: angry, resentful, pushy or even aggressive.)
Instead, despite how intense or intimidating he may seem, smile to yourself and know where it all comes from.
Feel confident that the feminine energy CAN and always will be able to handle the masculine energy. And not only HANDLE it but inspire it, drive it, and influence it!
Disclaimer: I’m referring specifically to when you’re in a relationship here.
See, there are plenty of reasons and contexts in which you may want to resist a man. When there’s no trust or connection established with a guy, why would you want to let him in just for the sake of it?
Yet it’s important not to resist his masculine energy, dark or light masculine energy in your relationship.
The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your love life or dating life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of.
And, your man will be so smitten by you and the purpose you give him that he would never want to leave. (There are definitely other big purposes and roles in a man’s life, other than the life he has with his woman; and I do acknowledge this of course).
Surrender with love, acceptance and openness completely and fully to the masculine energy.
Whilst a woman has her ‘ocean of emotion’, the man should understand this and be her rock during these times.
If a man lives in his masculine, he equally understands his responsibility and treats a woman’s vulnerabilities and emotions with strength and understanding.
A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. Remember this when you feel resistance and tension in your relationship.
If you are both in a bad state, remember that you can break a man’s state and get you both into a more resourceful and loving place.
Bad states, arguments or tension can be broken by one or both of you working to bring out your true core (whether masculine or feminine) and remove the masks.
This also helps to create positive associations. Relationships break down because of too much negative association that outweighs the positive association.
Masculine feminine polarity
It’s like the positive and negative charges.
This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen, if what you want is to experience emotional and sexual attraction.
Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family.
If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex and polarity is so important in a relationship.
If polarity and sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman other than friendship. You become more like housemates or companions.
And, really – most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate.
And, intimacy is not just about sex.
You must give your presence to a man in order to make your man feel important.
As a mother I know how hard it is to make time for your relationship at times.
(I would say I know firsthand how hard it is to put your husband first. Babies pretty much steal mom away completely, because they need it to grow and survive.)
Yet you owe it to yourself to make sure you are able to put him first at times.
Just so that he isn’t always feeling second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. (Women always find things to worry about or think about!) 🙂
How to be feminine in a relationship
So even though this may sound kind of cheesy – let your hair down, be a little crazy and out of control.
Feel deeply, love vulnerably and maybe even have a good laugh or giggle about something that isn’t even that funny.
Here’s a table I made to help you identify the differences between the masculine and feminine.
Let go of control! That’s the number one step for being feminine in a relationship.
Cry about something you’ve been meaning to for ages. Learn to love and appreciate others, rather than criticizing or turning your nose up at things.
Even if someone behaves in ways you don’t agree with, there’s always something to understand or appreciate about their behaviour. (Eg: They are behaving badly, but they are just trying to do the best for themselves.)
Revel in freedom and learn to LOVE and enjoy men and the role that they have.
If you’re single, you’ll attract them like you wouldn’t believe!
If you’re taken, you will still get interest too, but most importantly – you will have the most amazing relationship.
Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men. And I mean genuinely. I don’t mean the kind of woman who just wants to sleep around. I mean true appreciation and acceptance of masculinity.
By the way, you can discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment by reading this.
And, I’d like to leave off with this quote:
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”Rumi
I hope you enjoyed this article. 🙂 Do share with me below your challenges with surrendering in a relationship.
Have a lovely day!
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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