Article updated 2018
Several years ago, my husband David and I, started teaching people about what it means to be a High Value, High Status Woman. This was way back before a lot of people started using the term ‘high value woman’. Since then, a lot more people have been using the term high value, and they’ve made the term their own, and helped a lot of people, which is fantastic!
However, with so many more people teaching about the term, I wanted you guys to have my perspective, to hopefully make the meaning of high value more complete in your mind. I feel like the original meaning of high value, at least in the way we meant it, can easily be lost in a day and age where the term is being increasingly used.
A lot of people feel like being high value is about knowing you are worthy, having healthy boundaries or having self confidence. These factors are all a part of it, but they just scrape the surface.
That’s why I want to give you some clarity around this idea of being high value.
High Value is an idea that stemmed from “mate value”. So being “high value” is related to being (and having) high mate value. That’s how my husband and I came up with the term. In order to attract a mate, you need to show up high value.
Of course, a lot of us do this naturally anyway, but sometimes we need more understanding of what it means to be high value, so that you can clearly stand out from the crowd.
So, what does “high value” really mean? It means that you are high value in the eyes of potential suitors, or mating partners.
That is, in the eyes of potential mating partners.
Which is a lot different than just working on having self confidence. So what this means is that how YOU feel inside, and whether you are confident or not, versus how you are perceived by men, are different things.
You can totally feel confident inside and yet be perceived from a mate value perspective as low value.
So we need to look at what men perceive as high value. And certainly, confidence might be one of those things that can be seen as high value, but that barely scrapes the surface of being high value.
Now, I mostly teach women about being high value in the context of getting a commitment from a man. And that is very different than what it means to be valuable in the context of short-term relationship and sex.
You see, a lot of women can appear high value to men in the short-term, and have high value for the purpose of attracting a man’s sexual desire.
And that is why a lot of women (including myself!) put effort into using makeup and clothing the best way they can. Some women use plastic surgery to try to signal higher mate value.
But a lot of that is great for first impressions, but it doesn’t keep men around. Wouldn’t you agree?
So what I’m saying is, showing up high value to a man and inspiring his desire to commit to you, is very different.
This is not to deny that every man is unique and different, just as every woman is different. We all have our personal likes and preferences.
However, some signs of high mate value are universal. Some signs surpass all social conditioning and modern politically correct thinking.
There are definitely general, but important things that make you a High Value Woman in the eyes of the male population at large. And yes, these apply to men in all cultures and races.
So what we’ve done here is that we’ve broken down this elusive term high value into 3 separate categories so that it is easy to understand and easy to take action upon.
Here are the 3 keys areas that makes you a high value woman to men…
1: Reproductive & Radiance value
2: Social Value
3: Spiritual value
(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)
REPRODUCTIVE AND RADIANCE VALUE
Let’s talk about number 1, reproductive and radiance value. Now, all you ladies who are above 50 or 60 years old, bear with me here, because I know that at that stage of life, you might feel like you are passed all the “reproductive value” stuff and are in to a different stage of life, especially with menopause.
However, I wanted to share that having reproductive value isn’t just about being of reproductive age or being below 50 or 60 years old, it is about having high energy, being healthy, being responsive and alive and being fit. Fitness and aliveness simply has no age.
And I don’t mean fit like you have to go to the gym 7 days a week, I mean fit to function, as opposed to being constantly sick and run down.
We actually have a program called the 17 Attraction Triggers which is one of our most popular programs for many years now, and a lot of these attraction triggers are based upon improving your reproductive and radiance value.
We’re not going to delve into the nitty gritty here, but I want you to start thinking about what really reflects a sense of health, energy and radiance in a woman?
I’ll give you an example. Your posture, your gait or the way you walk, all give little subtle signs of the health of your body and any potential disease.
Here’s the good news, there’s always something you can do to improve this area of your life. You can perhaps start juicing some vegetables, eat less processed foods and really start to look after your body and mind.
Now let’s talk about the next category of value… social value. There’s a distinction I want to make first… You can have more superficial social value, and you can have deeper social value. What is the more superficial social value?
These are signs that you have people around you who like you or want to hang with you. Now, of course, people can hang with you for all the wrong types of reasons, so that’s why this is superficial social value.
Having social value is also being able to converse, and generally having the energy to invest in being a sociable woman.
Deeper social value is the social value that really lasts long term. It’s the good stuff. Deeper social value is that regardless of whether you have anyone around you or not – it’s your consistent, genuine desire to connect with people.
A lot of people have a lot of friends around them, but those friends are only in a mutual relationship to further their agenda or to look good and seem high status. They are not really close friends. It’s rare to have truly close friends, at least in the traditional meaning of the word “close”.
As long as you have a genuine desire to connect with others, it doesn’t matter whether you are paralysingly shy, or have intense anxiety, what matters is that your heart and actions are in the right place: to connect.
If you have a desire and intention to connect, and are not just in it for yourself, then you will learn along the way about how to socialise and you will calibrate as you go along.
There’s no right or wrong when you have the best intentions.
The other part of being high social value is being a celebrity in your own life. In other words, holding yourself as a celebrity.
As we’ve all seen lately with the Harvey Weinstein scandal, some celebrities don’t have much real value – they are in fact, out to take value. Harvey Weinstein may have had status in his social circle a long time ago, but for all the wrong reasons.
So I use that word celebrity with a little hesitation, although we’ve been teaching women to hold themselves as a celebrity for a long time now.
To hold yourself as a celebrity means to act like you matter. And how do you not just act like you matter, but actually matter in a social scene? You add value to others. That’s the deeper meaning of holding yourself as a celebrity.
And to help you further, to appear as a celebrity, stand tall and proud to be you. If you do not feel much pride or confidence, then do one thing that scares you every day. Are you scared of something but you should really do it? Then DO IT.
You only get depth of pride and confidence by making yourself do difficult things. When you internally know what you’ve made yourself do, you naturally feel a sense of pride and confidence and self respect. It’s that internal pride that you’re looking for, as once you’ve got the internal pride, it’s real, not fake and so it tends to show in your body language.
Lastly there is spiritual value. And this is not about sitting in a quiet corner and meditating, nor is it about acting morally better than others.
It is about your ability to give outside of yourself.
Spiritual value is all about you having a desire to want to meet a man at his level. It is your ability to get out of yourself and understand and relate to and connect with him. Spiritual value is not about taking for yourself, it is about US. It’s about being generous. It’s about the team, it’s about caring deeply, outside of yourself.
Of course spiritual value includes all the traditional images of what it means to be spiritual: like having compassion.
However, it’s really one dimensional and not to mention frustrating and restricting to try to keep up with an image that you are a compassionate person all the time. So that’s not what I’m talking about here.
Being spiritual is also about respecting, deeply appreciating, and connecting with humans and life at all levels. This means that what you fear, you can also appreciate.
To be spiritual also means to be able to fluidly connect with and act from your heart whether you are being so called slutty with a man, angry with a man, or being loving and nurturing with a man.
Just because you are angry doesn’t mean you can’t be angry from the heart.
Do you understand what I mean?
So it’s about becoming and accepting every part of yourself so that there’s more of you to give. Because every part of you has an incredible value to give…and when you can access more parts of you, then there will be a wider range of value you can offer.
Now obviously there’s a lot more we can talk about on these 3 areas of value.
We’ve been teaching these 3 areas for the last 8 years now in a few of our programs, and we’ve found that once we are able to break this elusive concept of high value down into these 3 actionable categories, then things become TANGIBLE.
Does that make sense?
By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s free for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.
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