Becoming more feminine and soft can make you more attractive as a woman.
Not only that, it allows you to feel more alive, and become more of who you are deep down inside.
Embodied feminine energy is created from the inside out, and for a woman to be more feminine, she must prioritise what goes on within herself internally.
In this article, I will first show you how to become more feminine in 4 simple steps.
After that, I will share with you 18 ways of a soft, feminine woman.
Be More Feminine Starting From The Inside Out
It’s quite easy to improve how we look externally, but the more important focus should be on the true embodiment of your own unique feminine energy.
Some of the most feminine women in the world have no money for makeup, pretty clothing, shoes, the latest LV bag, or the latest Chanel sunglasses.
Yet, they show up extremely feminine in the eyes of a man. Because (perhaps due to the fact that they live in a more traditional culture where feminine energy is celebrated), they’ve kept their natural, undulating feminine energy within their body that they were naturally born with.
Let’s not forget also, that making ourselves up as women, and dressing ourselves has in our modern world, become a bit of a race to the bottom.
(A race by which women try to out-compete each other for cheap male attention.)
Women sometimes assume that by dressing more provocatively than the woman standing next to them, they can be perceived as more feminine and high value.
Here’s a video I made on the topic of How To Be More Feminine in 4 Simple Steps...
What Is Feminine Energy & How Can You Become The Ultimate Feminine Woman?
First, let’s establish whether your primary energy is more masculine or more feminine.
Chances are, if you’re searching for ways to increase your feminine energy and your expression of it, then you are probably more feminine naturally.
However, there are some of us who are more preferentially identified with the masculine energy.
Yes, a woman can be naturally primarily identified with the masculine energy, and that’s perfectly ok.
Of course, I must also remind you that some of us are neutral at our core.
What this means is that some people (male OR female) are neither clearly very expressive of the feminine energy, nor are they very clearly expressed in the masculine energy.
So, these more neutral people don’t seem to have the emotionally expressive, changeability, non-goal oriented radiance of a more feminine identified human.
They also don’t seem to have the impersonal objectivity, or the directed and linear energy of a very masculine identified human.
However, the majority of females born (roughly 80% of women) will identify strongly with the feminine energy. And, given the right environment and opportunity, they will gravitate towards existing from that energy.
This is often called your “feminine core.”
Are You More Feminine Or Masculine At Your Core? Find Out Here.
So, do you have a more feminine core?
Here’s a table I made for you to see clearly what the differences between the masculine and feminine energy are.
It’s for you to figure out if you are more feminine or masculine at your core.
Now that we’ve established the essential differences between the masculine and feminine energy, it’s time to talk about the 4 MOST important steps to become a deeply feminine woman.
STEP 1: To Be More Feminine, Relinquish Your Rules
Rules are useful when they are useful.
Yet, femininity and feminine energy is often squashed by ‘rules’ on how to act.
And that’s troublesome because most of us live in a society full of unspoken rules.
Not to mention peer groups. Often, our friends or our peer groups can be the most limiting when we want to change.
I have said before, that femininity is not so much about following a set of rules, because rules = rigid.
And there’s nothing rigid about femininity.
Feminine energy is the energy of life. It is sometimes more nurturing, and sometimes more wild, dark and more carnal in its expression.
Feminine Energy Isn’t About Rules
So, do you have any rules about what it means to be feminine?
Do you think that by being more soft, you’ll always be extra feminine in your expressions?
Do you have a rule that very feminine women should always look and be elegant?
Do you have a rule that says feminine women can never be masculine?
Do you have a rule that says that to be feminine, you can never, ever swear or use obscenities?
Do you think being feminine is all about being passive?
Have a think about that.
Being More Feminine Isn’t Just About Being More Passive
You see, due to a number of growing dating and relationship rules circulating on the internet, many women now have erroneous ideas about how to show up more feminine.
Due to the new age rules, a lot of women these days think that being feminine is about being passive, being more receptive or about receiving.
Being receptive is a good overall skill to have, but it doesn’t relate specifically to becoming more feminine.
Receptivity will help you open more and relate more as a human, rather than being strictly about feminine energy.
If you would like to find out more about that, you can read my article, Is It Really “Feminine” To Receive? & Other Myths of Masculine & Feminine Energy.
A lot of people say that in dating, to be feminine means to practice “leaning back”.
See my article here on The 9 Dangers of Leaning Back & Why it’s Not Feminine.
The truth is that a masculine man can lean back as well, and not suddenly be or look ‘feminine’.
People are getting their knickers in a knot about the whole feminine and masculine paradigm. There’s really no need!
You Have Your Own Unique Flavour(s) Of Feminine Energy
First and foremost, relinquish all the rules you’ve taken on board about what it means to show up with more feminine energy.
Remember, you are a unique soul. You’re one of a kind. You have your own ‘flavour’ of feminine energy.
This means that no amount of rules you follow will really help you become more of feminine self.
Unless you’re coming out of an abusive relationship, and you want to feel safer when connecting with a new man.
Even then, strange rules about being passive or never contacting a man and never doing anything masculine would really restrict your expression of yourself.
(Remember that your well developed masculine energy can actually help you feel more free to be feminine. More on that below.)
Sure, you might want to become softer rather than being hard and rigid. But being soft doesn’t always equate to being passive.
Sometimes femininity is soft. Other times it is not.
STEP 2: Remove The Masks & Stop Trying To Be “Worthy”
Ask yourself this question:
“Am I wanting to become more feminine in order to be more worthy?”
If deep down, you know in your heart of hearts that the answer is yes, then just remind yourself of something….
Remind yourself that to emanate more feminine energy requires that you stop trying to be worthy.
Rather, it’s about being able to relax beyond the stress and tension of being worthy, into who you already are in your true nature.
Striving to be or feel more ‘worthy’ of love is a mistake I’ve personally made.
It really gives off the wrong vibe; the vibe that you’re not “quite there” or “calibrated” socially or relationally.
See, femininity must occur from within. Smart men will never be fooled by a fake feminine woman.
In other words, you need to remove the fake masculine masks you may have adopted as a little girl in order to be received by others as more ‘high achieving’, ‘competitive’ and ‘enough’ in this society.
See, the fact that you’re here on this earth already means that you are worthy.
If your core is truly feminine, then what you need is to remove the masks, the layers of striving and coping to be ‘worthy’ or to be more ‘enough’.
You need to move beyond rules into the delicious expression of your own unique feminine radiance.
(If you would like to learn more about what exactly feminine radiance is, D.Shen has an amazing article I recommend you read. It’s titled: “What Exactly IS Feminine Radiance?”)
Also check out this deep discussion I had with my husband on masculine versus feminine energy…
Being Soft & Feminine Doesn’t Mean You Should Never Be Masculine
Removing masks of fake feminine energy or fake masculine energy doesn’t mean you should give up your masculine qualities.
Please don’t give them up.
We all have masculine and feminine energy in us (men and women).
Remember that feminine and masculine energy are not gender-dependent.
Your masculine qualities are equally as wonderful and useful in your life (and yes, even in your relationship!)
It’s just that a lot of us women have become extremely masculine because of our work and our habits.
This means that many women now don’t want (or know) how to come out of their hyper-masculinised lifestyle.
An Excessively Masculine Lifestyle Crushes Your Feminine Energy!
See, what we do most of the time shows in our body.
So if we do a little too much of the so-called masculine tasks and things, then it makes our bodies masculine.
The truth is that of course dominant and successful men are more likely to be attracted to a feminine woman. (keyword: more likely).
This is a generalisation. T
his doesn’t mean that just because a woman is feminine, that she will always be super attractive to all the dominant men.
It just means that she will have a better chance at coming across more attractive to the masculine men.
Yet not every man wants a feminine woman, and not every man finds a feminine woman attractive.
Not only that, to be a high value woman, you need to be able to access your healthy masculine as well.
Try to remember that.
The type of men to find a very feminine woman attractive are the men who spend a lot of time being very centred in their masculine “core”.
Which means that they are unafraid to be themselves.
This means that their natural dominant energy is in tact.
Their natural sense of autonomy and masculine direction gifted to them at birth has not been quashed by society.
(Or if it has, he has learned how to get back to his core).
What is the one specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to want to commit to ONE woman, want to take care of her, worship her and only her?
STEP 3: Become Free To Be In The Sensations Of Your Feminine ‘Body’
When you have a lot of work and responsibilities, it’s imperative to be able to switch from that masculine, goal-oriented energy to the undulating waves of changing feminine energy.
These waves of energy actually exist in your body naturally.
To release that constricted ball of masculine energy in your body, use music and relaxation to soften the constriction.
And do things that bring your body towards relaxation.
Relaxation reduces stress and brings your body in connection with its natural pleasure or even pain.
Things like having a bath, dancing and moving your body in whichever way it wants to move (whichever way feels good to you), will help you bring you back to your body.
Feminine energy is usually highly concentrated in the hips, thighs and reproductive organs. This is where the energy needs to be for successfully maintaining your cycle and for reproduction.
We don’t want to be trapped in our head all the time, and we don’t want to quash our undulating feminine energy.
CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)
To Be Feminine, Free Up The Constricted Energy From Living In A Masculine World
We want to free up all the constricted energy from living in the masculine world.
You see, when we go to school and college and then proceed to get a job, we take on responsibilities and stressors that affect our feminine energy.
Not only that, if we have a career that requires us to be in our masculine energy a lot, we lose that ability to be more feminine.
When we have a very masculine career (which many of us do!), and we go to it day to day, it makes our body masculine.
What you have to do in order to accomplish things in a highly competitive and cut-throat masculine environment, is this:
You have to suck up all the subtle ripples of feminine energy that would normally traverse your body unhindered.
Then you have to turn it into a linear energy of focus and ‘going for the kill’.
This ‘sucking up’ of your feminine energy is what your body does naturally, to get the job done.
Now, this doesn’t mean that if you are trapped in this kind of habit that you are doing the wrong thing, because you aren’t.
It just means that you may spend a little too much time in your masculine in order to really keep a healthy feminine.
It means that you’re not existing in your sensual world, or in the sensations of your body.
(Remember in our table above that feminine energy is more about existing in the body and the body’s sensations and feelings?)
Feeling is the essence of femininity, because to feel, you need to surrender. And that is, surrender to life force and let it become you.
What I also mean by this is that to be feminine, we cannot be trapped in limiting beliefs that lead us to become a detached or cold woman.
In other words, a woman who is disconnected from connection, and also the spontaneous flow of life.
This is one of the attitudes you don’t want to have if you want to be more feminine.
To Be A Soft Feminine Woman, You Need To Be Sensitive
Women are nurturers. And this requires a level of attachment and sensitivity.
If you’d like to discover your own CORE attachment style, you’re in the right place:
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
Now: why do you need to be sensitive in order to be soft and feminine? Well, truly beautiful, feminine women take care of things that they care for.
In fact, they care about almost everything. Remember from our table above that the feminine finds it hard to let go? Rather, it hangs on (often a little too long?)
Sometimes, patterns of detachment from sensitivity and emotion, love or intimate relationship are a product of experiencing pain and/or believing we aren’t worthy of being seen as who we naturally are.
Sure, we’ve all had trauma. We’ve all had enormous pain.
But it doesn’t mean that a woman has to become ‘broken’ and feel like she has no way out other than to wallow in victimhood.
Here’s what’s interesting:
A feminine woman, if she shows up as a man’s “one and only” instead of “one of many”, truly gives a masculine man a reason to live, to work, to provide, and to conquer.
Due to the fact that her energy and aliveness (connection with all of life….her surrender to pain and pleasure) gives him something he can NEVER experience fully for himself as a man.
Unless he goes to Hawaii or perhaps fiji.
These are very feminine places that can truly enliven men (and women) when we visit them. They nurture us with their lush beauty and feminine energy.
So, see your feminine energy or your femininity as a gift to a good man.
By the way, if you want to learn the 5 secrets of how to make him fall in love with you and beg YOU to be his one and only, I have something special for you here.
Step 4: To Be More Feminine, Have More Vulnerability
Vulnerability has become the ultimate buzzword in the last 5 or so years.
But how do you practise it?
There’s a few suggestions I have for you.
1: Take a cold shower. This makes you instantly vulnerable and makes your emotions surface (learn more about cold showers here before you begin them, however. I am not a doctor.)
2: Emotionally invest in someone or something.
Yes, of course, that means you can invest in yourself too, if you want to!
Investing in yourself doesn’t mean watching crappy tv shows and binge-eating potato chips.
(Although you can do that if you want).
Watching crappy shows and binge eating is more about escaping and getting relief than it is about investing in yourself.
What does investing in yourself mean?
It means to make yourself vulnerable by learning something new or actually studying a topic you do not understand.
A topic like MEN, money, health, relationships, or simply investing your time in getting to know another human (yes, including men).
If you want to be vulnerable, understand men!
If you want to be more vulnerable, understand another human (women included).
Be on the same page they are on, so that you develop a sense of beauty, relatability, authenticity, softness and humility.
All these things lead to deeper vulnerability which can also lead to deeper connection.
And what does deeper connection mean?
It means that your feminine energy gets the nourishment it needs.
The More Connected You Are, The More Feminine You Are
Connection is the lifeblood of the feminine.
The more connected you are, the more vulnerable you can be.
Of course, the more vulnerable you are, the more you show to men that you’re not really all that capable in certain areas of life.
Just like perhaps he wouldn’t be capable of breastfeeding a child.
(See, if you can kill all of your own snakes as a woman, that’s great. But if you kill each and every snake for yourself time after time, then…well, what is the purpose of a man in your life?)
Be aware that if a man is masculine at his core, then it’s important that he does feel needed. (just like you like to feel needed by a man, but in different ways).
So, allow yourself the gift of vulnerability. Here’s an article on how to be vulnerable.
Surrender to the feelings in your body.
Surrender to what’s true of life.
When you’re real like this, you’re more of yourself.
When you’re more of yourself, your natural femininity will shine through like the brightest star in the night sky.
Peel Back The Layers To Reveal Your Feminine Soul
It’s kind of like peeling back the layers.
Peeling off the masks and saying, ‘Hey world. I’m here. I’m real. I feel. I’m a woman and I’m proud to be so.”
And guess what?
Then he (men) will see that you do struggle sometimes.
And perhaps you struggle in ways that he can really help you!
He will see that you don’t have a whole lot of direction in your life like he does, because you don’t tend towards that masculine bias.
Instead, you’re not about direction (most of the time – perhaps at work you are, but definitely not inside of a relationship).
Feminine Energy Is About ‘Flow’
Your feminine core is about flow, remember?
Flowing from one thing to another – and yes, that embodiment of life energy makes you very vulnerable at times.
So he will see and feel that you are vulnerable and real.
If there’s no vulnerability, then there is no need for him! If there’s no need for him, then he will be more likely to subconsciously put you in the category of “one of many” and pump and dump you.
Because your sexual exchanges won’t mean anything to him.
You may wonder what the difference between neediness and vulnerability is.
Here’s an article on, How to Be Vulnerable Without Being NEEDY.
Would you like to also discover the one ONE specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to WANT to commit to one woman, and commit to her and only her?
I share with you what that one specific emotional trigger is right here.
18 Ways Of A High Value, Soft & Feminine Woman
When I was 10, I liked a blonde haired, rough around the edges boy called Shannon, but Shannon didn’t like me; he liked my friend Tilly who wore floral skirts.
When I asked Tilly why Shannon didn’t like me and liked her (yes, I really did that), Tilly said I was acting like a boy and Shannon would like me more if I wore a skirt.
Looking back now, I can see that that Tilly girl – she was smart.
When I was 13 walking down the river bank with my best friend at the time, who has since sadly passed away, a couple of boys walked past and said to us ‘nice tits, ugly head’.
I didn’t have any breasts, I was flat chested and my friend was the total opposite of flat chested, so I assumed he was saying ‘nice tits’ to my best friend and ugly head to me.
Was I being too negative? Maybe.
Then, when I was 22 studying my law degree, a male law student acquaintance said to me “your body looks your age, your face looks old”.
I still remember this for a reason – cause it sucked to hear it. (I’ve since been told that he wanted to have sex with me, so he said that to bring me down a peg. I don’t know…it still hurts though.)
Now you can take a guess at one reason why I got interested in the topic of feminine energy, relationships, dating and men. I had a few…let’s call them unanswered questions.
Which, by the way, I had to figure out the answers for myself. My parents were too proper to answer any love, dating or sex questions I had.
So these 18 tips on how to be more feminine in a relationship are as much for me as for anyone else who gives a damn about love, sex and the art of intimacy.
I suggest that you choose only 3 (THREE) of these 18 ways that appeal to you, and begin doing them.
You’ll be better than 95% of people in relationships for doing so.
Always, Always Consider Things From His Perspective.
Why? Because it makes you smart, and able to see very quickly if he cares about you; or is hanging with you for the wrong reasons.
This is an essential skill to become good with men and people in general.
It’s just about caring. Try hard to understand where another person is coming from, feel what problems they might have. Try to see what their motivations are.
Prepare to be wrong about this more often than not. But the point is not to be right.
The point is to start. To care. Eventually, you might get 10% better at it. That’s an enormous difference from most humans, who never try.
Both of my sons (and I believe possibly all newborns) came into the world highly sensitive. I would leave my older son in a room with his father for 5 minutes while I hung up the washing. And, if he cried for me while I was gone, I was dumbfounded that I could simply walk back into the room (without him seeing me at all), and he would stop crying, sensing my presence.
These babies, innocent and free, also don’t tolerate anything less than full love and connection.
How many of us keep this capacity for sensitivity and connection after childhood?
If this vulnerability and trust that we are born with is broken, which it is for most of us, we lose innocence and purity. We can also become thick skinned and stupid in relationships.
This is not to say that we should be like a newborn baby. It is to say that we should try to have a capacity for sensitivity and a capacity for trusting others. On top of that of course, is that we should also have the capacity for feeling mistrust.
You would ideally also be just as able to connect to pain as you can connect to pleasure.
Why? Well, because if you’re feminine in an “advanced” way, then your body becomes more and more open over time. As it becomes more open over time, it becomes incredibly sensitive to pain and pleasure.
So consider re-sensitising yourself with feeling deeper beyond the superficial patterns you have.
Breathe deeply, dance, appreciate your feminine body.
Do Touch Your Chosen Man Physically Lovingly, Showing Presence And Sensitivity And Softness.
This is one of the primary ways for how to be feminine with a man. The reason this tip is in here is because soft feminine woman are sensual, because they are attuned to the sensations in their bodies.
When you reach out and touch a man gently, softly and lovingly, I’ve noticed it feels feminine to them. It takes courage to do this from a caring place.
We can be mindless, going about our day-to-day, and forget to connect with him from a soft and sensitive place.
Be playful and move and throw pillows and wrestle for fun.
Connect with him in these multi dimensional ways – one caveat about this, however. I mean to do this in a way that you enjoy and that gives you pleasure.
Men in general love a woman’s pleasure. It’s horrible that so many of us are ashamed of our own pleasure: because it triggers other women’s jealousy.
A little secret: playfulness also the no.1 trait of high value dating profiles online (that men fall in love with).
Only with a man that you’re exclusive with and that you trust.
Don’t give blowjobs to men you don’t have any relationship with.
If you’re already in a trusting relationship, and you’re sure that this man truly cares about you and is fully committed to you, then blowjobs would be appreciated.
Remember to only give blowjobs to a man who is worthy of your vulnerability. There’s a whole article about it here…
Also, there’s a whole article about how to be submissive in a relationship as well.
Be Feminine For Yourself First – Then Invite Him Into Your World
Let the natural feminine energy arise out of pleasure in your body.
Deep and wild pleasure is often taboo, and so it’s not so much that you should be feminine only for your own pleasure. Pleasure is more so the gateway to full sensitivity.
Full sensitivity means you feel pain and pleasure, and you should ideally have the capacity to feel and sense both pleasure and pain.
To achieve this, you can try dancing by yourself!
Dance naked, sing and move your body in the ways it naturally wants to move, for your pleasure. Dance and listen to music that makes you cry or rage.
Then, connect with yourself that way and if you feel like it, you can share that with him.
No, pleasure is never just about sex.
Consider what you deeply enjoy, what makes you want to connect with others, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry.
Then truly be free and let go.
Don’t Assume Every Man Wants Feminine Energy
Some men want to BE the feminine energy.
If you do assume all men want feminine women, you could be trying in earnest to feed a horse to a fish, and you’d have good intentions there, but the fish wouldn’t perceive any value in your offering.
Don’t Assume Feminine Is Always Best
Be careful if you assume that all you have to do is be feminine, and that will be the key that will make you stand out as more high value than other women.
That’s not usually true; feminine doesn’t work in many contexts of your life, perhaps in the workplace, even if it sometimes works for attracting high value men.
Feminine and masculine energy is only one lens through which to see your dating life.
Being feminine is great, but being attuned to a man is just as great.
Being feminine cannot solve every dating or relationship problem – I know that some ladies have that impression, but as great as feminine energy is, to think that being feminine is the holy grail – well, that’s a terribly myopic view to have.
Show Him That You’re Willing To Trust Him
Show him that you’re willing to trust him, but don’t hold back your expression of lack of trust when you don’t.
Here’s what that means: show willingness to try to trust his direction, and relax into trusting him when you really do, but communicate with non-blaming “I’m not feeling very safe right now” as feedback when he’s not being considerate or is making a scary decision.
(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)
Polarity Or Commonalities!
If you are not interested in wild intimacy, sexual depth and passion in your intimate relationship – then maybe a relationship with a strong masculine man isn’t for you.
This is because it is the strong feminine and masculine poles that create polarity, which contribute to feelings of attraction.
That’s fine – it’s just important for you to know that if all you want is an average, functioning relationship where you are both best friends, then being feminine may not matter at all – being a team player, getting the job done and being agreeable may be more important.
Sex Is Not The Ultimate Value You Can Give, Really!
Unless he has got it in his head that he just has to have physical sex with you and that will make everything great.
Connecting to him, putting connection above all else, sharing your feminine energy, accepting him, allowing him to be human is the real deal.
Giving him sex for the sake of not losing him is never what it is about.
Don’t make yourself do this because you’re fearful there are no other options. It causes stress and dishonesty in your body.
At least tell him that you feel scared to have sex with him. Read more on how men view sex here.
Choose Connection, Not Sex To Honour Your Feminine Soul & Be ‘The One And Only’ To Him
It’s hard to become the ‘one and only’ if you guys have already been friends with benefits for a while, and then suddenly you want him to be your committed boyfriend with a soul to soul connection.
It’s possible to turn yourself from being the ‘one of many’ woman to being the one and only woman in his life. But it may not be easy. You also may or may not have that opportunity anymore.
To get to exclusive girlfriend status, be selective and avoid having sex out of fear that he will leave if you don’t.
This is honouring your own feminine soul.
Avoid having sex if one part of you wants to and the other part dreads the consequence.
Instead communicate your fear of the consequence. You are more trustworthy and feminine this way.
Sex is still a thing you allow men access to. Unless you’ve already established trust, love and commitment with each other. Not being sexist or unfair to women here.
You are the woman, you have the womb. Men don’t.
Sex means something to you, and it can mean absolutely nothing to men (unless you are their one and only).
Want to know how to show up as the one and only woman, rather than the one of many woman? Access my “Becoming His One & Only” program here.
It’s OK To Dream.
It’s OK if you dream of having a man so strong and masculine that you’re willing to travel the world with him, supporting his dream, allow him to order you around with love.
Just love that you secretly want that with the right man. That’s what your feminine soul wants.
To add to your mate value, when you want something from a man – say, more of his time or more sensitivity, try offering that to him first.
Be able to offer what it is that you demand from him.
Pure generosity is anything but low value.
It’s one of the traits of a classy woman.
Simply think about what value you can add to him before you ask for more commitment and investment, so that you become deserving of that commitment.
Many women today are entitled.
Women who are entitled and think men owe them something proudly shout their ‘rules’ that “MEN should give” and “MEN are the providers”.
Yes, but that doesn’t mean they will provide for you.
It’s all about how you show up as a woman.
Who wants to feel taken advantage of?
What rich, masculine man would want to provide for an entitled woman?
This is one reason why we suggest that you have enough generous spirit to offer to pay specifically on the FIRST date, not the second or third or fourth date.
We’re not advocating that you ‘be the man’ or that you offer to pay for a lavish dinner on the first date.
Rather, we believe that if you offer from a genuine place to pay for the tea or coffee date, not only do you get to show up more classy and generous – you set yourself apart from all the others.
Be so loyal it is painful. Men who have at least an average level of intelligence and value connection, absolutely value loyalty in a woman.
A loyal woman is feminine because to be feminine, you must honour your need for attachment to a man. And when you’re proud of being attached, more of your natural softness, vulnerability and femininity will show.
Loyalty is something I am convinced that men are primed to look out for in a woman, because they don’t bear children, and therefore can’t know if children are theirs or not – unless they find and choose a loyal woman.
This means that you don’t try to ‘date like men do’ by engaging in ‘rotational dating’ which can be low value.
(No, I’m not suggesting you should only date ONE man – read the article above to understand).
Too Much Defensiveness; It’s Not Good
Yes, objectively speaking, defensiveness serves a purpose, but it doesn’t always go well with love and connection.
It’s hard not to be defensive if you’re an insecurely attached, insecure or fearful person – but the point is to try our best to practice feeling deeper and breathing instead.
If you’re unsure whether you’re securely attached or insecurely attached, I recommend you find out! You can do that with our specially crafted quiz:
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
What should you put first in a relationship?
When all else fails in your relationship, remember to put connection first.
Of course, not all relationships deserve you putting connection first – especially when you’ve tried to do that – when you’ve tried to connect soul to soul with him repeatedly, and he still treats you poorly.
To understand if you’re in a healthy relationship that’s worth your time, I wrote this article for you on the 10 Ultimate Signs of A Healthy Relationship.
Smile Openly When You Feel Like It
Smile genuinely. If you smile when you’re already in your feminine, this will enhance the joy and the happiness men feel around you.
You will enliven their hearts and put joy, hope, life and happiness into their dry masculine world.
This is not to say that if you don’t smile you’re “masculine”. This is to say that when you’re in your feminine energy, sharing a genuine smile can show your feminine openness to men and add to your value.
Interestingly, research shows that the more a man smiles, the less dominant women perceive him to be. Dominance is connected to masculine energy.
Of course, a smile is also attractive on a dominant masculine man, if it’s genuine. Because it makes him approachable and even endearing.
But if men smile all the time for the sake of smiling, that just doesn’t feel quite right.
Appreciate Men As They Are
Yes, if you want to be in your divine feminine energy, appreciate men. It’s that simple.
If you want to be a woman of value to men, appreciate men.
The masculine enjoys being appreciated, even if appreciating him doesn’t appear to give you what you want right this moment.
This doesn’t mean having a bunch of rules for them and how they should be and what they ought to be doing for you.
It means accepting them as they are and being curious about how masculine energy can be experienced by men.
It means accepting that masculinity doesn’t always show up in the way you wish it would.
For example, some men experience their masculinity through playing video games. Playing video games doesn’t mean they’re feminine (yes that’s right!).
It means they like to experience winning and losing.
Many video games help men connect to their masculine core.
Sometimes, yes, playing video means they want to escape life. Which is why a lot of women find the habit of playing video games annoying.
But playing video games can still mean that they want to get back to their masculine core!
Having judgements about it won’t create polarity or connection in your relationship.
It will only create distance.
The Most Important Aspect Of Being Feminine In A Relationship…
Whatever strategies you want to use to connect to your divine feminine energy, remember that if it’s all too overwhelming, just start with freeing yourself and letting yourself truly FEEL.
If there’s one tip I have today to become more feminine, it is simply to feel. Just FEEL.
Begin valuing your feelings and valuing who you are.
If you cannot feel….all the pain, hurt, anger, ecstasy that has been pent up or held in for the sake of being accepted in our society, then you can never be free to be fully feminine.
Frequently Asked Questions About How To Be Feminine
What Is A Woman’s Feminine Energy?
It is who she is (and how she shows up to be) when she is no longer afraid of losing people’s approval.
I hope that you enjoyed this article and that you found it useful. If you have anything to say, please leave me a comment.
How Can I be More Feminine And Girly?
- Put a flower or ribbon in your hair and smile
- Wear a skirt or dress and enjoy wearing it
- Enjoy, appreciate and savour every moment of your life
- Be around other lovely feminine women who are emotionally healthy and enjoy their own femininity
- Develop your dark and light feminine energy to be whole.
How Can I Be More Feminine In A Relationship?
- Allow yourself to be influenced by a man’s masculine energy and masculine direction.
- Instead of being resentful or pushing a man away, try to express your desire to trust him and open up to him. (Trust can appear feminine and erotic to a masculine man).
- Use physical touch to connect and bring a man into the world of feminine sensation.
- Offer your nurturing and support.
- Role play with a man in different dark or light feminine roles (nurse, librarian for your light feminine side, mistress and sensualist/hedonist for dark feminine side)
- Allow him space to gradually develop his trustable authority and problem solving abilities in the relationship.
How Can A Woman Become Soft?
- Empty herself of old emotions, because it is only through a state of emptiness that you can rid your body of the stress that makes you hard and invulnerable.
- Choose soft and feminine friends to hang out with. If your friends are all tough and masculine, then you will become more masculine and hard. (Which there’s nothing wrong with. In fact, you need to develop your masculine in order to have a deep feminine nature, but if you always spend time with masculine people, you may end up hard.)
CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)
What Is A Feminine Girl?
She is a girl who is comfortable in her own skin. About 80-90% of women are born naturally more feminine. As such, what they need to do to be a feminine girl is to de-stress, stop approval seeking, stop wearing masks to cover their real femininity and relax into it.
What Traits Make A Woman Feminine?
- She is emotionally and physically responsive in a relationship.
- She is ok being vulnerable with a man and with people in general.
- She is capable of surrendering to masculine energy,
- She is not always trying to be right or perfect.
- She seeks to resonate with others
- She is driven by connection more than she is driven by significance in life, at least most of the time.
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.
Is Feminine The Same As Female?
80%-90% of females are born with a more feminine essence. For these women, they are naturally more feminine, but they do not necessarily express it, or show up that way (because a lot of women hide their feminine energy out of fear).
So, having a feminine essence and being born female mostly does go hand in hand. But different women express and live in their feminine essence to varying degrees.
How Do I Become More Soft And Feminine?
Move away from being in your head into the world of sensations:
- Touch your lover gently
- Hold a baby and play with it
- Relax in a warm bath and bring the energy into your body
- Rub your body with moisturiser and appreciate how it feels as you do it
- Cry and release pent up stress and tension in your body.
Now over to you! What do you do to get in touch with your feminine energy?
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.