The Truth: What Men Are Looking for When They Push You for Sex

Sex is the thing that women are obligated to do with men if they want to keep a man around.

I’m kidding.

Sex is the thing we think we have to do with men to keep them around.

We feel pressured. And when a guy pressures you, you start to think that it’s your obligation to give him sex.

Who doesn’t know a woman who gave a blow job or had sex with a man to ‘keep him happy’?

Here’s a fact that may surprise you:

When a man is in love, he can have zero sex with a woman and still stick around. And he will stick around whilst being emotionally attracted to her and faithful to that one woman.

Shocking thought, isn’t it?

I know this makes a lot of women angry. They think how ridiculous of me to assume that a man could stick around with no sex.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that’s women’s resentment talking, not the truth.

If you are like many women and you find yourself asking: “why do men want sex all the time?” or “why do guys only want sex?” when a guy pressures you into sleeping with him, you’re not alone.

I’m not trying to diminish your challenges with men. After all, there definitely are men who only want sex from you and not a relationship.

But there’s also a deeper truth to this. There’s also something else that men want when they’re pressuring you for sex that has nothing to do with the physical act of intercourse itself.

Let’s explore what that is right now.

Why Men Push for Sex

When a man is in love, THIS is what he really wants!

When two people are in love, what their heart truly wants, is to know that the other person loves them back.

Also, spending quality time with the person becomes far more important (and perfectly sufficient) in comparison to having sex with them.

There’s two reasons for this:

  1. The first is that falling in love is an emotional experience for men and women, and it causes a man to form a pair bond with you. This leads to men wanting to own you and your soul, not to just have sex with you.
  2. Secondly, it is because for a man to fall in love with you, the emotional connection and emotional attraction is the MOST valuable thing about having you in his life. It’s because you inspire him to feel. Not because you have sex with him.

It may be hard to acknowledge the next thing I’m going to say. But are you ready? Here we go…

Almost any easy woman on the street can give a man sex. Any man can get sex if that’s his goal.

At the very least, there are prostitutes. And then there are also easy women.

But it doesn’t matter who you are as a woman, at some point in time, you’ve probably felt pressured to have sex with your guy (or with just any guy), and you’ve likely assumed that sex is the most important thing to men!

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

Why do we feel pressured to have sex with a guy?

Still, when a guy pressures you, why do you (as a woman), feel the need to acquiesce? And if not acquiesce, why do we feel it’s our obligation to have sex with him?

When men get all touchy feely towards us, when they talk dirty to us, we feel the pressure instantly. We tense up. We think they are wanting sex only.

Often, when women ask: why do guys get mad when you don’t sleep with them? The logical answer seems to be that they are not getting what they want: sex!

But I’m here to suggest to you that this is not always the case. It’s certainly not always the truth that they just get angry because you didn’t have the physical act of sex with them.

We might be right in one sense, but that’s only from our own perspective.

Why? Because our feminine instincts tell us that if a guy does a lot for us, then we could potentially face the reality that he wants sex in return.

Yet when we look at all this from a man’s perspective, we would see something different. We would see a different level of truth!

By the way, before you have sex with a guy, you should always try to work out whether he is likely to commit to you or not. So, are you dating a commitment-friendly man? QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!

What do men actually want when they push you for sex?

To start, I want to say that there are men who are single-minded and desperate for sex – that’s a basic rule in our world.

When a guy pressures you to sleep with him, that’s not only desperate on his part, it’s a good sign that you should stop him dead in his tracks.

Stopping him dead in his tracks is one of the quickest ways to position yourself as high value.

I believe these desperate men definitely will push you for sex just to get the sex itself.

This is usually because they’re desperate for one of the following:

  • An ejaculation
  • Female validation
  • To dominate someone and therefore feel good about their existence; or
  • To just milk a woman for whatever he can get

That’s the truth. But it’s the base layer of truth only. There’s also a deeper level of truth to this.

There’s something, a feel, that men want even more than the physical act of sex itself. This one thing gives them the gift of feeling alive. It gives them purpose.

SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the World’s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention…) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost.


The deeper level of truth: men want THIS more than they want sex

Then there’s the deeper level of truth: that men actually want a woman’s openness and feminine energy more than they want sex.

They want to know that you won’t descend so far down the rabbit hole of closure (closing off to them emotionally and sexually) that you will abandon them or give yourself away to another man.

They want to own your soul and to feel you open to them completely. Hiding nothing of yourself from them.

The men who don’t see this level of truth won’t agree to this. Because they can’t see it yet, or because they haven’t experienced this yet.

When a man doesn’t know what it’s like to fall in love, or indeed isn’t even capable of falling in love, will believe this to be nonsensical or untruthful.

And yet, this is all no different to the woman thinking that marriage from a man is the answer to all her woes.

This is usually the typical posture of an older woman who is starting to feel the pressure of her biological clock and age.

This woman desperately tries to look for any man who is willing to commit.

If he isn’t willing to commit – then she will push for it. Hard. Often she’ll push without a single pause to think about and feel where the mat is at.

That does nothing other than make the man feel obligated, and eventually, even resentful towards her.

Anyway, for a man to just want sex – that’s the most superficial way a man can approach a woman. It is a way, but it’s the most superficial way.

Yet – that is not the truth of why men are pushing for sex when there’s an emotional connection established between him and the woman.

By the way, did you know that there Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?

CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report.

(Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.) 

In a casual sex situation, men only care about the sex

In a totally casual sex situation, men only care about the sex, because they haven’t formed much of a connection with you yet (if they ever will).

So, the more single-minded a man seems to be – the more careful you have to be. A lot of women give when their bodies aren’t ready – you shouldn’t.

In a casual sex situation, men don’t care if you’re open to them or not – they are only there for the sex.

And men can have sex with a tree. They can also have sex with someone they hate.

So, if the relationship is purely sex oriented – then this deeper level of truth does not apply.

But if you have established an emotional connection and emotional attraction with a guy, then he will care about much more than just sex for both of you. In such a situation, men care about your level of openness more than whether you have sex with them.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

Men actually want a woman’s openness? Really?

The reason we feel like men want sex all the time, is not because they DO want sex all the time.

It is because men are always trying to get women to ‘open’.

And we interpret their advances and their touches etc, as a push for sex with us. But that is not necessarily true, even though we feel immense pressure to sleep with them.

Instead, what your guy is likely searching for, and what he needs much more than he wants, is your total openness to him (and only him).

But what is openness?

It means a few things:

  • To ‘open’ means to not be separate from the moment and from connection with him.
  • To open means to not pull away love in order to manipulate him.
  • To ‘open’ also means to not cut him off emotionally. When a woman shuts down and pulls away her love, her trust, her approval or her vulnerability to a man, that scares a him!


I am not telling you that your man deserves your trust at every moment. But I am suggesting that your man is extremely sensitive to whether you’re willing to try to trust him or not.

Because if you pull away your trust for him – whether that’s trust for his his masculine direction, his suggestions, his decision-making ability or his positive intent towards you, then in his male biology, this feels like losing access to you emotionally and sexually.

Meaning, he will lose access to you, likely in favour of another man. And if a man is emotionally attached to you and in love with you, this can feel like death.

Your trust is ultimately more important to him – ultimately what he needs, much more than he needs the physical act of sex from you.

The interesting thing is this:

We often pull away from a guy out of fear that he just wants sex. “Men only want me for sex”, we think.

But what if instead of making this rash assumption (which causes us to close off to him and pull away our openness), we didn’t pull away?

What would happen then? What if we just stayed with that fear we felt and melted into whatever emotion came next? (no separation from the moment, in other words).

What if we allowed a man to ‘open’ us? To influence us? To connect with us?

What if instead of closing off, we offered the gift of our submissiveness in a relationship?

Well then of course, men might want sex; because that’s the natural progression of things when we are able to embody feminine submissive energy.

But men’s deeper desire (which not every man can articulate) is to have you belong to him.

And the sign that a woman belongs to a man is her openness to him (not to lots of different men).

Do I really have to say out loud that men want to own a woman and a woman wants her man to own her?

I guess in this day and age of the gender wars and ultimate confusion, I do!

Your feminine energy, your willingness to trust and open to your man completely, is much more trustworthy and valuable to a man in the long-term.

Because it means you’re his. It means you’re willing to trust him and offer your soul to him.

On that note, would you like to discover how naturally feminine you are? You can do that with our quick and easy quiz. QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

He wants to own you

Yes, if a man actually loves you, then he wants to own you.

…And this doesn’t have to feel offensive, even in this politically correct world we live in.

Because a man wanting to own a woman actually offer value to a woman too. This is if they both share mutual love and attraction for one another of course.

If a man owns a woman, she feels safe. (There’s great value there.)

But it takes a courageous woman to be willing to be owned.

It also takes a courageous man to ‘step in’ and take ownership of this woman, despite the fact that a woman may resist his masculine dominance and will say a bunch of things that she doesn’t mean, as feminine woman often do.

Here’s the bottom line:

Men’s actual desire is for a woman to be open to him – not to just have sex with her.

This is the male desire beneath their push for sex.

It is not about sex.

It is about a woman being open with her energy. It’s about her being generous and willing to trust, or at least try to.

But why is this?

But Why Do Men Want To “OWN” You?

It’s because when you trust a man, and when you allow his masculine direction to lead you the places you need to go, (*ahem, direct your whole life*), then you become emotionally and sexually unavailable for all other men.

A woman who doesn’t trust her man is likely taking her energy everywhere, seeking approval and attention from many men is a problem from a guy’s perspective.

She is likely dibble dabbling in the offerings of other men. She may seek to take some value and offer her energy to other men.

If she’s trying to take attention from a bunch of different men, that is usually about her not being faithful and selective with whom she shares her energy with.

Not only does this erode the trust we have with the guy, we also lose out on the good men when we do this.

Out of a need for “freedom” and equality, we sacrifice the passionate, deep connection that comes with men wanting to own us and us relaxing into our desire to be owned.

This is often what men are trying to get from a woman – faithfulness. A feeling that her feminine energy is going to him only, not just to any random guy on the street.

I understand that this may sound extremely uncomfortable at the least for some women reading this.

At worst, it sounds horrifying.

“What? I have to fully trust a man? I have to offer him my openness?!”

But that might hurt. Right? It might feel risky.

But that is the point of love. Indeed, it is the point of sharing your entire soul and life with a man.

If you offer much less than that, then men will also offer you much less.

But let me ask you something:

Is there something really wrong with allowing a man to have command and direction in your life, if he does it out of love?

What if his ability to command you (FOR you) is better than your own?

If it were so wrong, then the book “50 Shades of Gray” wouldn’t be so damn popular.

We are in fact too afraid to live out our fantasies as women, even if it would lead to us living an infinite life.

And we are afraid especially when it involves emotional risk.

So I invite you to take the emotional risk of believing the deeper truth:

That if a man loves you, then what he wants is to feel your ultimate openness to him. He needs to know and feel that your soul and your body are his.

And if you cannot offer your body today, that is ok, because you still belong to him.

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

Why would men want more than sex?

The reason men actually want more than just sex is because he is much better off having a woman who is open to him, than he is if he were just pushing for sex.

Because if a woman is not open to a man (if she’s closed off or judgmental of him), she’s probably off having someone else’s baby (this is from a man’s perspective).

Remember, men don’t intuitively know if the baby is theirs or not.

A large part of what they do and how they see women and treat women in the dating world is based on this fact. Their bodies and biology are based on this fact.

Never forget that! Become obsessed with learning about that; it’s no small fact.

On the surface, men can look like jackasses who want to take advantage of women. (Women can look exactly the same to men, too!)

Yet once we learn about their biology and their fears – we start to realise that we can take just as much advantage of them if we want to.

And they feel just as shamed by us. They just don’t tell us because how manly is it to tell you that?

It’s always easy to see men as the bad guys. But never forget that as a woman; we naturally take value from men, too. We just don’t see it because we don’t live in their bodies.

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

What would happen if you let yourself open to the right men?

What would happen if you let yourself open to the right men?

(NOT to every man. There are douches out there, and I don’t want to you think you should go around offering your energy to them. Be very careful. Be very selective. And remember: you don’t have anything to prove to anyone.)

But it’s also important for you to know that your openness would potentially make a lot of men fall in love with you.

Because the openness is the ingredient necessary for emotional connection and emotional attraction to take place.

If you want to get better at differentiating between a guy who truly wants to connect with you and a guy who just wants to use you, it’s important to take it slow and be discerning when they come on strong.

Because guys often will come on strong. CLICK here to learn more about why you should be worried when a man comes on strong.

It Takes A Strong woman to Offer More Than Sex

What is a strong woman? A strong woman, in one definition, can be a tough and self sufficient woman.

But it takes a strong woman to have the courage give a man more than sex.

It takes even deeper courage to be willing to trust that what a man wants is not just sex, it’s feminine energy. It’s your acceptance, love and openness to him.

This “strength” I speak of it particularly difficult to offer in a day and age where the war between the sexes is still strong.

It is also difficult to offer this strength when you are insecure, emotionally unavailable, have a fear of abandonment or insecure attachment patterns.

Related: 15 Signs Of Abandonment Issues & How to Test For Them.

So it’s very common for women who have an avoidant attachment style, or who err on the anxious side of the attachment spectrum to scoff at the thought of trusting men and offering more than just sex.

It’s just so hard for these women to believe that a deeper truth exists. And as a previously anxiously attached person, I can relate to such reservations and fears.

Men can’t possibly want your openness, trust and feminine energy more than sex. Can they??

Well actually, yes they can.

And if you doubt that or vehemently resist that, then it’s possible that you are either jaded from past negative experiences with men, or perhaps you have insecure attachment patterns that need healing.

By the way, you can actually find out your specific attachment style with our quick and easy quiz for women. QUIZ TIME: Do I have secure or insecure attachment patterns? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!

(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!) 

To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex

To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex.

Can I ask that you consider beginning to trust this?

Because, if we believe in our bodies that men just want sex, then we enter the dating world with a low value energy. And our bodies show it.

In addition, if we have a lot of casual sex, our bodies become less and less open over time because as women, we often have to shut off to emotions in order to accomplish the act of casual sex.

So we really have to be careful with casual sex. I don’t care how much women hate this and want to get rid of the double standard. I care how much more damage it causes women’s bodies to think otherwise.

Our natural state is to let things progress to sex when we open and trust a man.

That doesn’t always happen nowadays. We often ignore our biological drive, so it trains our bodies to close down and not be attractive to the good men (who actually do want to take care of us).

I know it’s hard. Because older women tend to pour out their past baggage trash all over you – saying that “all men just want sex” and “men only want me for sex”, and all that.

But really – that’s not true. Men just want sex if that’s all you are brave enough to offer.

Be brave; don’t give him sex out of pressure.

You have permission to trust another way of thinking: that men want your feminine energy and your openness. (it doesn’t require physical sex!)

QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Don’t let men just pursue you for sex

Don’t let men just pursue you for sex. That’s the key to be high value and attract high value.

My husband talks a lot about how to offer your high value vulnerability because this is one thing that makes men fall deeply in love with you. (and we invite you to learn in depth about how to show it in the members area here.)

I know it’s hard, but try your best not to get caught up in the fallacy that sex is the ultimate goal of all men, all the time.

There’s a reason why men fall in love. And they fall in love when we dare to show our high value and our vulnerability (which is something we all have), and when there’s plenty of attraction and connection in the relationship. 

Part of being open is being brave enough to share or show your fears about sex and dating to him.

Part of sharing your high value vulnerability is being ok with being human; and sharing that.

There’s no faster way to weed out the desperate men who just want sex.

On that note, you may be interested to discover the ONE specific emotional trigger that inspires a man to commit to you and ONLY you: CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

Where women have misunderstood men

“Men only want one thing!”

“Men only want me for sex!”

hese statements can be seductive to believe.

Women misunderstand men when they think they just want sex.


Because he wants a woman’s trust and a woman’s energy. Trust is sexually inspiring, it is a turn on – especially when the woman is sexually open to her man.

And trust is deeper than sex; a woman’s trust makes the sex better, if the option of sex is there.

A woman’s energy is a way of giving him a reason to be happy to be alive today.

Try to consider this the next time you think “my boyfriend is pressuring me to sleep with him”…

He might be pressuring you to sleep with him, but you also have every right to say no. That’s how you deal with guys who push boundaries.

Remember, when you say ‘no’ to others, you say yes to yourself.

Imagine this…

Imagine this…a man who inherited a lot of money, and because of his financial status, he knows every pimp and has round the clock access to all the prostitutes in his city.

Yet when you see him out with the women, none of them are particularly happy around him! They are just hanging out with him, and are sexually available to him, that is all.

Versus a man from the suburbs who has nothing. No car, no money, but he shows up at the same bar that the first man frequents.

And within an hour, he has 3 women around him open and happy, laughing and enjoying their time with him because he is entertaining and funny.

The second man is an example of a man who ‘has’ a lot more.

Not in the number of women, but just because the women he attracts are open and present with him! They also show more attention and care towards the man he is.

This is also to remind us that a man can buy sex. But men can’t buy openness and responsiveness from women.

By being an open and responsive woman – you are not only upping your own value, you are encouraging a man to up his.

It’s a cycle that feeds itself. You are doing a brave thing for the world, and for the evolution of men and women.

Of course, the onus can fall on men as well!

The less present a man is willing to be for you, the less open you are to him – it works both ways.

I just don’t believe in sitting on our asses pointing the finger at men, when we have the option to take the high road and take responsibility.

Why else Do Men Want MORE Than Just Sex?

There’s another reason why sex can’t be the only thing a man wants in a relationship.

I’ve heard some women say that we always want deeper.

We are never fully satisfied for long. And so we’re searching for deeper; I believe there’s a truth in that.

So of course, a man wants more than just sex in a committed relationship.

And, those men who spend time just chasing tail often get to a place where they are over it.

They simply get over the novelty and are ready for something deeper.

And the men who don’t get there – well, they don’t ever seem to be able to find a deeper purpose beyond themselves. You don’t want a guy like that really, do you?

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.


So why do men want openness & surrender?

Because it is sexually attractive, and it makes him feel safe that a woman is trustworthy and faithful.

Look – it’s true, there are men who may think, after all the openness and surrender you show, that he still needs sex to feel OK about himself.

However, that is an old pattern of his – it’s not the truth in the moment.

What genuine men want more than anything else is a woman’s willingness to open beyond her tightness in to her beautiful femininity.

Her awareness that she needs to surrender emotionally to herself, her fears, and to true connection.

Here’s a great article on the 2 traits of women that men routinely fall in love with.

This feminine emotional softness, a woman’s willingness to let herself breathe in, connect with him and emotionally experience the moment, is valuable.

It’s a sign she can and will be open to trusting him – which is high value.

A woman’s full trust is so hard to obtain – regardless of the number of years a couple spend together.

This is due to the fact that women and men don’t naturally trust each other (because our motivations can be totally opposite).

It’s also because trust comes and goes with each moment. And depending on how high value a man is, over time he gets generally more trust from his woman, or generally less trust.

And if a woman doesn’t trust a man she’s with – what’s the point, for a guy?

Never forget though, for a man to become more trustworthy, you sometimes have to step in first and show your willingness to trust him.

But do men really want to deal with a deep, emotional woman?

Well, every man has within him the capacity to deal with an emotional and deep woman. I believe all men have the ability to recognise a deeply radiant woman.

Some will reject a woman like that.

Many men will rather sit and watch TV than deal with a woman like that.

This is what emotionally unavailable and lazy men are like.

I am not trying to tell you every man is going to respond well to your openness and depth.

Depth is a gift you give to the people who can handle it, and who are ready for it.

Certainly not every man is ready for it. Just like not every woman is ready for a man to lovingly direct her life.

But the message I want to send is this: in their deepest heart; a man wants your openness.

This is the deepest desire of all emotionally healthy and securely attached men.

Here are 6 Burning Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You.

By the way, I want to teach you 5 Secrets to have your man fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. Click here to find out more details on How to Become A Man’s One and Only Woman.

So what does all this mean in your life?

It means that you could inquire into the possibility that men want something deeper than just sex.

It means that your value is endless as a woman. And will be for the rest of your life.

You can stop thinking that make up and looking pretty is the answer.

You no longer have to give sex to please a man.

You just have to be authentic, open, responsive and be OK with being as alive as you’re brave enough to be.

Instead of becoming preoccupied with your feeling of being pressured to have sex, try to reveal your true self, slowly but surely. A good man will respect that.

For the sake of the connection, let yourself embody high value vulnerability, before you try to become a sex goddess.

Remember that if you lead with sex, your relationships with men will often end in sex. Not commitment.

OK, that’s all from me.

Do you wish to understand what a man is thinking, and understand the secrets of the masculine perspective? To take our most popular course “Understanding Men”, CLICK here.

(The promise of this course is for you discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.)

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

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