How to tell if a guy likes you?
There’s a difference between a guy who genuinely does like you, and a guy who is just using you, or pulling your strings.
It’s important to understand the difference.
If you don’t know the difference, you could get dragged into the wrong kind of “situationship” with a guy.
Table of Contents
Does He Like Me? Signs He Likes You
Does he actually like me or is he just pulling my strings?
Does he actually like you or does he want to use you?
What does it mean if a guy is “just pulling my strings?”
It means that he is stringing you along or just keeping you around, but he doesn’t really want a real relationship with you.
In other words, it is of value to him, to keep your attention on him for as long as possible without having to commit to you.
A guy who really does like you will give specific, undeniable signs that he likes you.
In fact, it’s important for you to know that a man being ‘in love’ with you is actually worth far more than him ‘liking’ you! Here’s an article on the 5 Unusual Signs He’s Madly in love with you.
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- If you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you, pay attention to his body language and his actions. Actions speak louder than words, always.
- Some signs a guy likes you include: remembering the little things you’ve said or done, feeling jealous of your guys friends or other men in your life, texting you back quickly, and wanting to spend time with you for you, not just for himself.
- In order to truly tell if a guy likes you, you need to stay attuned to him.
- Many guys will fake interest in order to get something for themselves. In order to tell real romantic interest from fake interest, you have to test.
how to tell if a guy is interested in you or just being friendly?
It’s not too hard to tell the difference between a guy being friendly versus just being friendly.
Having said that, there are guys who send mixed signals, and mixed signals are usually a sign that he doesn’t really like you enough to commit. Also, beware of mixed signals, because he could be breadcrumbing you.
Here are the signs he genuinely likes you (and is not just being friendly):
- He makes a real effort to spend time with you alone, and will travel long and far to get to you
- You notice him making prolonged eye contact
- You catch him stealing glances at you from far away
- He’s protective of you (and this goes beyond just being a gentleman. He really is concerned for your safety and puts a lot of effort into making sure you’re safe)
- He’s affectionate
- He often tries to touch you and make physical contact with you (a hand on your shoulder, a hug, etc)
Overall, there’s a sense of detachment in a guy if he’s just being friendly. That’s not the case if he truly like you. If he likes you, you’ll feel him caring about you.
Want to know how serious he is about you? You can find out with my free and quick quiz: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!
Now for the 9 signs a guy likes you…
#1: He Has Intense Emotions When He Sees You Or Is Near You.
Intense emotion is one of the signs that a guy is either feeling infatuation for you, or that he is experiencing that special, coveted emotion of romantic love.
Have you ever seen him stammer when talking to you? Does he shift his weight around nervously? Does he look flushed in the cheeks?
Does he seem anxious, awkward or painfully shy when talking to you, (but seems to speak and act normally around others?)
These are all clear signs he likes you.
And that’s because it shows that he has intense, uncontrollable bodily responses to your presence. (Perhaps as well as intense emotions about you).
What you want is a guy who indeed does have intense emotion about you.
This is because without intense emotion, he will never want to get emotionally close to you.
If he doesn’t get emotionally close to you, then your chances of him ever committing to a serious relationship with you are low.
If you’d like to learn more about that, here’s the real difference between the women men commit to, versus the women men leave.
#2: He Remembers Trivial Things You Said & Did
If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he’ll remember all the little things you’ve said to him.
These are not the things that you ask him to remember about you.
These are things that he remembers about you involuntarily!
I say involuntarily, because a guy who really likes you will not be able to control his actions as much as you think he would. He’s paying attention to what you’re saying because he can’t even help it.
Your simple presence and existence causes his whole emotional state to change, and sometimes even causes him to change his behaviour unknowingly.
The fact that he focuses his attention on you (sometimes to the detriment of other people in his life), means that he’s either falling in love with you, or beginning to feel infatuated with you and very much likes you.
He Would Remember These Trivial Things…
What kinds of trivial things would he remember that you said or did?
Any normal everyday event or behaviour.
Such as the way you brushed your hair, the way you make your morning coffee, or the way you handed him the tomatoes while cooking.
Here’s an example of a man remembering trivial things about a woman, from a Chinese poem called “The Bamboo Sleeping Mat’.
This poem was written by a man whose hopeless infatuation with his beloved manifested in his words:
“I cannot bear to put away the bamboo sleeping mat. That night I brought you home, I watched you roll it out.”
This man replayed and remembered such a simple, trivial action like this woman rolling out a bamboo sleeping mat.
That’s an undeniable sign that he likes her. In fact, I’d say that means he LIKE likes her! In other words, it’s not just infatuation, it’s romantic interest.
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#3: He Keeps Objects, Smells Or Signs Of You Close To Him.
Of all the signs he likes you, this one is surprisingly important.
Why? Because it means he wants to be close to you.
And if he keeps things you own close to him, it means he’s trying to hold on to things that remind him of you.
But what kinds of items would he keep close?
Things like a pencil, a scarf with your perfume on it, a handkerchief (old school I know), or a piece of your hair that fell out.
This is about noticing if he has ever held on to, or kept seemingly worthless or trivial things that remind him of you.
If you’re wondering what that might look like, let’s say you happened to fold a paper origami. A paper crane for example.
It seems insignificant, yet he wants to keep it, because to him, it’s a symbol of you.
This is one of the clear signs he really likes you.
What to know how you can tell him that you like HIM?
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.
#4: He Gets Jealous Of Other Guys In Your Life
Jealousy gets a bad rap. People these days think that healthy people should never feel jealous, but that’s just people trying to reduce the intensity of other people’s emotions.
That’s people trying to devalue human emotion.
And while I understand that jealousy can be a nuisance in a relationship – even deadly in some situations – it is a good sign that a guy likes you.
I’m not saying he needs to be obsessed with you. I’m suggesting that if a guy likes you, he’ll feel some jealousy if other guys make a move on you or try to cut his grass.
How can you tell if he’s feeling jealous? You’ll see the subtle signs in his body language:
- If another guy chases you, he gives him the cold shoulder. Even if you’re just friends, if you can sense that he’s giving the cold shoulder to other guys who flirt with you, that’s a great sign he might want you to himself!
- He claims you as his by walking right up to you and touching you when another guy tries to make a move on you. This is his way of trying to claim you as his publicly
- He seems tense when you talk about other men in your life (look for tight, pursed lips)
- He even seems angry when other men try to court you or flirt with you
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#5: He Proudly Calls You His Girlfriend
Another of the signs a guy likes you is that he calls you his girlfriend in front of his acquaintances, friends and family.
Ok, so not all guys will go out of their way to introduce you as their “girlfriend”, for many reasons.
One reason is that perhaps he’s not even close to his family. So why would he go out of his way to introduce you to them?
It may be because he’s not aware that it’s important to you.
Some guys are more introverted and just don’t speak or say a whole lot.
Perhaps they prefer to keep their relationship more private, but it doesn’t always mean that they don’t like you.
Be that as it may, my question to you is…
What Do Guys Do When They Really Don’t Like You?
They basically act like they aren’t proud to introduce you to the people in their life.
They may also ignore you or pull away when a more attractive or interesting woman comes along.
They may take you out to an event, but leave you alone and even seem to pretend that they are not really “seeing” you or together with you.
They might seem almost embarrassed about saying that you guys are an “item”, and at the same time avoid having to introduce you as his girlfriend. Especially to more attractive women.
In other words, if a guy doesn’t really like you, then being around him will only add to your feelings of inadequacy.
A guy who likes you wouldn’t trigger your feelings of inadequacy carelessly like that.
Don’t get me wrong, in every GOOD relationship, you are bound to be triggered to feel inadequate at some point. That’s normal.
However, it’s not normal to have a guy (repeatedly), carelessly trigger your feelings of inadequacy. IF he likes you.
Instead, one of the undeniable signs a guy likes you is that he is super proud to not only show you off to people he knows, but he actively makes an effort to introduce you to them as his girlfriend!
Before we move onto the next sign, I want you to know something important.
Please always remember this. This will make or break your love life!
…Just because a guy ‘likes’ you, doesn’t mean he is serious about you. See this article on Is he serious about you or just “interested?” critical distinction.
#6: He Takes Extreme Care In Buying Gifts For You.
This means that he will try his best to tailor the gifts he buys, to you. To who you are as a soul.
I still remember from about 14 years ago when I used to sell perfume in big department stores here in Australia.
Of all the customers I served during every shift, male and female, there was one man who came in once looking for a special perfume for his wife.
He wasn’t like all the other guys buying perfume as a Christmas gift for their wife…he was different.
He was meticulous, and he appeared to be so in order to purchase the right perfume for his wife.
The kind of perfume that would speak to her soul and enhance her delicacy.
I sprayed a few cards with different perfumes for him to smell and ‘test’.
He wasn’t a super tall, typically good looking man.
He was a man of modest height. He was slim, still handsome and obviously a businessman, wearing a nice suit.
As he surveyed the different perfumes, he was taking his time to have a think.
Then he said to me in this tender voice…
“I can’t just get my wife anything. She’s very small and delicate. I need just the right perfume for her that would make her happy and enhance how delicate she is.”
He used his free hand to indicate her small and unique frame, which he obviously cherished.
I was so touched by the purity of his gesture.
He was doing what he did out of sincere love and care for her, and that was clear.
I couldn’t hold back my smile if I tried. What a sweet, loving thing to say.
More than that, what a sweet approach he had to finding his wife the right perfume (that would suit her perfectly).
Here are 5 unconventional ways to make him love you more.
Now onto sign number 7 for how to know if a guy likes you…
#7: He Texts You Back Very Quickly
How to tell if a guy likes you?
A good sign that a guy likes you is that he replies to your texts really quickly. (See: 15 Insights Reveal How Guys text When They Like You.)
I’m not saying that he’ll never be slow in responding to your texts, because that’s possible, even if he likes you.
This is because if a guy has a life at all, then he won’t live on his phone and he will have other things to attend to, like work, kids, family, or friends.
But you’ll never have to guess whether he likes you over text because a guy who likes you will text back as quickly as he can, most of the time.
So pay attention to how he texts most of the time – it’s what he does most of the time that counts.
#8: He Exhibits Open Body Language
If a guy likes you, he’s going to show it through his body.
Many guys will try to hide these signs by trying to act cool. (An example of acting cool is putting their hands in their pockets to exercise more restraint and give off less signs he likes you).
But what’s body language exactly?
Science of people defines body language as:
“Body language is the science of nonverbal signals such as gestures, facial expressions, and eye gaze that communicate a person’s emotions and intentions…..Unlike words, body language is often done subconsciously and constitutes a large part of our communication.”
The body language a man shows is important because they communicate what his mind and mouth may not feel ready to communicate yet.
Alternatively stated, he may not want to tell you he likes you just yet, and he may feel too nervous to confess his feelings, but his body will find it much harder to hide his true feelings.
So what are some signs of open body language that show when a guy likes you?
- He’ll do an “eyebrow flash”, where he raises his eyebrows for approximately 1/5 of a second
- Open palms when he’s speaking to you
- He angles his body towards you – pay attention to his torso, as it will be facing you
- He’ll return your gaze (called mutual gazing)
- He’ll share your laughter
- He’ll mirror your gestures authentically and subconsciously (it won’t look fake, but rather, as though he is genuinely interested in connecting with you
Sometimes open body language can merely signal friendship, however, so I’m including the following body language signs that more reliably indicate romantic interest from a guy:
- He doesn’t just make prolonged eye contact with you, he even does the “eye dip”. Studies show that if a guy is attracted to you, his eyes will travel between your eyes to your breasts or lower, forming a triangular shape
- He’ll inch closer to you and even try to touch you
- He’ll flex his muscles
- He’ll try to make you laugh
- His mouth will be slightly open as he looks at you
- His face will be more expressive
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#9: His Eyes Gaze Deeply Into Your Eyes
That is, his eyes gaze deeply into your eyes to feel your response.
A man who likes you will definitely make eye contact with you, but it won’t just be eye contact.
When a guy likes you, he will have eyes that search your eyes.
What could he be looking for, you may ask?
He’s looking for signs on how you really feel about what he did or said.
He wants to know your soul. He wants you.
In other words, his presence is all yours. No part of him is absent in that particular moment, whilst he’s feeling you.
He wants to see how to navigate the waters of “you” better.
He wants to learn the quality of your emotions as well as your emotional responses to his words or behaviour.
I am sure you’ve heard that saying “the eyes are the window to the soul”.
Well, a man who really likes you will utilise these windows actively and consistently.
A Man Who Doesn’t Like You Will Not Do THIS…
See, a man who doesn’t like you will not give you this kind of presence.
Disclaimer: admittedly, a guy who likes you may also have trouble holding your gaze due to nervousness!
Even so, as he gains his bearings around you, he will most definitely want to look into your eyes.
You’ll see his eyes locking yours, as he will definitely want to learn about you.
Here’s an excerpt from a poem written by a man named Peter Gizzi. You can see through his words how he wants to know this woman deeply:
You Won’t Truly Know If He Likes You Unless You Stay Attuned
It’s great to be aware of the signs a guy likes you. However…
Here’s a truth bomb:
You won’t truly know for yourself if he likes you unless you stay attuned to the guy.
What is attunement? It’s the quality of being at one with. It’s to bring into accord, harmony or sympathetic relationship.
When it comes to attuning yourself to a guy, what that means is that you get out of your own head.
Instead, you feel the reality of where he is at.
If you attune yourself to a guy, that will allow you to see for real if he actually likes you or if he’s just stringing you along.
If you want to understand more about how to get better at reading a guy, read my article on how to tell what a guy wants from you.
Here’s a little explanation for how to attune yourself to a man…
You may care a lot about him, yes? However, the real questions are:
But does he care just as much about you?
How MUCH does he actually care?
Does he only really care for the attention you give him?
OR – does he care about your happiness, your feelings and your life as a whole?
Not only that, is he emotionally invested in your feelings? Does he empathise with and feel your pain or your ecstasy, as if it were his own?
An obvious sign that he likes you is that he truly cares about you. That is – your life, your struggles and your happiness!
This Is How To Be An Attuned Woman
To properly attune yourself to him, you have to first attune to yourself.
What that means is that you become more aware of how your body feels and what the deeper emotions you feel actually are.
See, when it comes to dating guys, there’s no use pretending everything is ok if inside you actually feel hurt by him.
There’s no use getting attached to the story you’ve told yourself about him and what he could be, in your head.
That can lead you astray and get you attached to the “idea” of the relationship you have with him, rather than what’s actually true about your relationship (or lack thereof).
To attune to yourself, you have to intimately understand how his actions make you feel, and in turn, how he responds to your feelings.
Of course, aside from that, you would need to understand your own attachment style. I recommend you do that with our very special quiz…
(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!)
What Else Do You Need In Order To Become More Attuned?
You’d need to:
- Be very familiar with your own childhood story
- Figure out if you have any patterns of relating to others that cause you more harm than good
- Figure out if you’re the type to attach very early to men (as a woman it’s actually your default to attach early, but some women do it excessively, usually due to having anxious attachment)
- Regularly feel your emotions and get in touch with what you’re really feeling. Simply put, if you cannot feel yourself, then you cannot feel others. And if you cannot feel yourself, then you’ll have no space for attuning to a man
Ultimately, for many of us, attunement is something that you choose to do consciously. You value connecting to others, so you allow space for their feelings and you respect that their reality may be very different to yours.
Attunement is necessary for a man to fall in love with you and for you to fall in love with him.
In fact, if you value attunement and actively look to attune, this habit will make your relationships outstanding. If you are not attuned, you’ll find that people naturally gravitate away from you!
Knowing How To Tell If A Guy Likes You: You Need To Understand Men
Men are humans too. But they also have some very different biases than women do when it comes to relationships and dating.
You may think that you know why he does what he does.
However, most women have no clue why men do what they do, because women have their own feminine bias of viewing the world.
So they resort to assuming. Or projecting their own feelings onto the guy.
This pattern of assuming takes them out of attunement with a man.
Sadly, it only perpetuates their own feminine judgements and biases of what men do.
The same can be said about men. Most men honestly have no clue why women do the things they do in dating or in a relationship.
And the more resentful a guy is towards the female species, the less he will ever attune himself to men or experience the luxury and power of understanding women.
Only the really attuned men will pick up on things and learn things about their crush, their wife, or their lover over time.
When you are aware of where someone else is at (read: attuned), especially a man, you become clearer in your judgement.
You begin to be more objective about the reality of whether he likes you or not.
This is one reason why I always say that smart women always seek to appreciate and understand men first.
The 1 Test To Suss Him Out For Sure
Aside from searching for signs of genuine interest and attuning yourself to a guy, the best thing you can do to know for sure if he likes you, is to throw him a text containing what we call an “attraction pebble”.
How Do You Throw Him An Attraction Pebble?
It’s really easy. An attraction pebble is a little phrase or a gesture that you throw to a man that will instantly capture his attention in a high value way, without looking desperate, needy or low value.
My husband David and I will teach you what this one phrase to get his attention on you is here.
Would you love to have a high value guy in your life? The kind of guy who looks at you with stars in his eyes? Well it’s your lucky day, because I teach you exactly how to get a boyfriend (the high value way) right here.
Do you know any other important signs a guy likes you? please share them below if you do, as I’m sure I have not included everything! I look forward to hearing from you in the comments.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.