3 Reasons Why you Haven’t Found the Right Man Yet

Article Updated 2020

Learn how you may be ruining your chances of finding the right man for you

You’re single and attracting a man who wants a committed, loving relationship with you seems impossible.

If you have not had a boyfriend in a few years or more, or if you keep ending up in relationships where the man goes hot and cold, and the women around you are getting their happy endings, it can seriously make you think, can’t it?

It’s easy to start worrying –

What if you’re not enough?

What if you don’t have the qualities to keep a man interested?

What if…..(touch wood) you’ll never find a man who wants the same things as you do?

Well, none of these things are true.

It’s not that you are not enough, it’s not that you do not have the qualities to keep a man interested, and it is CERTAINLY not that you will never find a man who wants the same things you do.

This may piss you off, but there are men out there waiting to devote themselves to you.

how to find the right guy

Most men are not stupid and unwilling to commit as many women like to make out that they are. In fact, men actually DO want to commit and have a relationship with you. See this video on 3 Reasons All Men Secretly Love to Commit. (video made by my husband)

It’s just that they need YOUR help.

They need you to help YOURSELF.

They need YOU to become the kind of woman that is easy to want a relationship with, because he feels COMPELLED to take care of you and love you forever.

Most men don’t have a whole lot of cognitive awareness of what they truly need or want in a woman in order to fall in love with her and commit to her….until she shows up in his life. So your job is to know the dating game well and show up as the ‘one and only’ kind of woman rather than the ‘one of many’ kind of woman, so that men will actually come to you and ask you out and want to commit to you.

Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!

Here is the bad news about meeting the right man for you:

If you have not met anybody who is ‘right’ in a while, and you feel down about it, the likelihood is that you will not ever meet a man and have your ideal happy ending.

Instead – what will happen is you will probably ‘settle’ for someone who seems ‘good enough’ because inside you are starving for love and for intimacy and feel willing to settle for any man that seems like he might provide the intimacy and security that you want, even if he is the wrong man for you. (Click here to complete the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

How do I know this?

It’s simple.

I know this because I’ve learned from people who are smarter than me – for example, research has shown over and over that most people have the same thoughts they did yesterday, and most people have the same thoughts they had last week, and most people have the same thoughts they had last month, last year….

In other words, most people never change.

And this applies to how you think (your mindset) towards your relationships and men as well.

As Einstein once said: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Even a simple change in mindset could lead you 50% closer to meeting the right ‘HIM’.

By the way, there are exactly 7 signs that a woman is low value to men. Do you know what these signs are?(And how to avoid them like the plague?) find out here.

So here’s what I believe: if you don’t know WHY you are not attracting the right one for you – and you don’t know how to make the changes within YOURSELF to be able to attract the right man for you – you never will attract the right man for you.

And I really want you to attract the right man for you – because I know it is possible, and because I know that life being single is lots of fun at times – but you never get the beauty and the JUICE in your life that you can get from opening yourself to an intimate relationship with a man.

One of the best ways to find the right man for you is to gain AWARENESS!

Once you have the gift of AWARENESS of why you have not yet found the right one for you, you could step out and find him faster than you ever imagined.

The good news is that the change doesn’t have to mean a lot of EFFORT. EFFORT is useless to you.

You could bang your face against a brick wall 30 times and that’d be really cool but you’d still end up with a bruised and battered face afterwards.

Even though you put a lot of EFFORT in to it!

I believe what you and I really need is the vulnerability to truly love and appreciate a man and the awareness to know that entering a relationship always means you will experience pain – and being OK with it.

What you also need is to be open minded enough to understand and appreciate a few things about what men find high value and worthy of committing to, rather than making men wrong and blaming them (or blaming yourself, because neither sex is to blame – we all just need to understand and appreciate more).

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say? Click here to find out right now…)

So if you want to avoid being alone for the rest of your life, you need to read these reasons:

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

3 Reasons why you have not met the right one yet:

1) You actually want to be alone.

You may not THINK you actually want to be alone, because you keep wanting that special someone in your life; but you actually do.

I put this reason first because it is common. You may LOGICALLY want a relationship, and logically want to find the right man, but beyond what your logical mind says – you’re actually more interested in living life alone, because it’s easier that way.

Yes, I said it’s easier that way.

You actually perceive that being ALONE, and being ‘independent’ meets your needs far more than being in a relationship ever would, so in actual fact, you’d never really give up your need to be alone.

So many women want a relationship, but they’re so scared that if they get involved with a man and truly love a man, that ALL their fears will surface, and they’ll have to deal with not only their OWN fears, but the fears and desires and the NEEDS of a man.

When you’re alone, you don’t have to OPEN yourself.

You can do whatever you want, whenever you want!

You don’t have to be vulnerable.

And the trouble is, vulnerability is one of the primary things men want from you.

They need to see your vulnerability in order to enter in to a relationship with you.

Your femininity and your vulnerability moves a man far beyond what a good ‘bum’ or a nice pair of legs does for him.

So what we really have here is a contradiction.

You want a relationship and to find the right one, yet –

You are actually stopping yourself from having it.

Your LOGICAL mind says you want a relationship, but as a human being, you’re still an animal in most respects, so you are not driven by your logical mind!

You’re driven by something else – more so your subconscious perceptions about what being in a relationship with the right man would mean to you.

And what is in your subconscious often comes from past hurts with other men, or even male members of your own family.

So, you might very well start to get involved with a man, but as soon as he does something that pushes your hot buttons and makes you squirm, and makes you feel insecure, you’re no longer focusing on how much love you have inside of you that you have to GIVE – which would give you confidence, instead you sabotage the relationship by pushing him away.

He does something that upsets you, so you start to focus on how he’s going to leave you or get sick of you or break up with you over qualities that you think you lack.

And of course, a man feels this, so the relationship starts to die after 3-5 months because it’s not blossoming as a relationship should, in actual fact, the relationship is falling victim to your fears and HIS fears.

When one person chronically feels like they are not enough, the relationship suffers.

(Note: it’s perfectly fine to feel like you’re not enough at times, because we all do! But huge issues come when we LIVE in fear that we are not enough – because it causes us to shrink and hide away, rather than add value to our relationships!)

It goes like this: as soon as he does something that triggers a fear inside of you – you do something that scares him and pushes him away.

We SAY we want something, but our subconscious mind drives us to do things that sabotage the very thing we want.

It’s a contradiction.

Somebody wants to be successful, but inside, they’re really afraid of losing the love of the people around them when they become successful.

Somebody says they want a relationship – but they don’t want to be vulnerable.

Somebody says they want a relationship, but they are not willing to commit to anything.

So how can you change this?

Here is a step to change your own contradictions so you don’t sabotage your own path to finding the right one:


Every time you are dating a man and find yourself acting our of fear and sabotaging the relationship, bring the focus back to feeling loved, worthy and loving.

Of course, you cannot properly do this if you have overwhelming emotions that are taking over you, so, prioritise feeling first. Feeling is important, but at some point, you have to get back up and become emotionally resourceful.

So take a moment to think about all the things the moments that you have felt loved, worthy and safe.

Think about being with someone you love deeply.

Think about someone who embraced you lovingly as a little girl.

Think about a time when you felt immense pride for yourself.

Think about a time when somebody told you that you were nice, generous or beautiful. This will allow you develop some emotional resources to stop sabotaging your relationship or your love life.

Most importantly, thank yourself for being YOU. You are perfect as you are, you always have been!

You have to consciously focus on the things that are going to benefit you and ALLOW you to effortlessly find the right one for you. I bet money on the fact that even those of us who have had horrible lives can find at least one moment in their past – ONE memory that they can hold onto, to help them melt their fear and instead feel loved and worthy.

All the resources you need are already there, in your past, so don’t forget them.

But don’t make this mistake:

If you want to feel emotionally resourceful, try not to dwell too long on disempowering, bad quality questions questions like:

What’s wrong with me?”

“Why am I the only one who doesn’t get a happy ending?”

These won’t help you be in the right emotional state to find and meet the right one. They’ll just take you around and around in circles.

As soon as you find yourself focusing on these things, bring the focus BACK to loving, happy moments from your past, moments where you’re felt proud of yourself. Basically, never underestimate the power of an imaginary friend. When all else fails, be your own best friend.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

2) You keep playing the game of being the ‘one of many’ kind of woman rather than the ‘one and only’.

Have you ever felt that you keep attracting the wrong kinds of men? Maybe you feel like you have no problem attracting men, but keeping them is the issue?

Have you ever felt like you have the ability to attract men to you, but the ones who want you are the ones YOU aren’t really interested in having a relationship with?

Perhaps you find you end up with the bad boys who aren’t really relationship material?

Maybe you want a commitment but you keep attracting men who don’t want to commit to you?

And this keep happening again and again?

Well, the reason for this is that most likely, you’re playing the game of showing up as the ‘one of many’ kind of woman, rather than the ‘one and only’ type of woman. Men will subconsciously categorise women that they meet into two different categories (and they often pursue them with the same intensity in the beginning).

These two categories are:

  1. The one and only; and
  2. The one of many

In our politically correct western world, often, women waste their best years showing up as the ‘one of many’ kind of woman, due to peer pressure and due to society’s pressure to ‘put out’ and not ‘waste your years with just one person’. People tell you, “don’t settle down too young! Have fun while you can!”

But do these people really care about you? Often, these people are parroting stupid phrases they think make them sound cool. Think about it. If you have found your perfect 10 as a woman or a man, why would you keep searching? What, you keep searching for the sake of searching? Well that’s very smart isn’t it?

The reality is – there’s a huge price to pay for going through lots of people. There’s also a price to pay for appealing to men’s sexual desire from the first moment you meet them. This price often is that you’ll be categorised as the ‘one of many’ kind of woman. And that’s partly because for a man to fall in love with you, and see you as the ‘one and only’ type of woman, he needs to feel your loyalty. There’s no loyalty in jumping ship all the time or viewing the dating world as a meat market ready for your sexual pleasure.

When you’re the ‘one of many’ kind of woman, it becomes very hard to reverse time, very hard to change the basket he subconsciously put you in, and become his one and only. You can in theory change the basket- because you’re capable of anything you want – but the problem is that when you were the ‘one of many’ woman from the start, this usually means that there was not enough emotional connection and emotional attraction to begin with, in order to start off as his one and only.

Here’s what I believe. I believe that it is futile to try to short-cut the very organic process of naturally building emotional attraction and emotional connection. To try to short-cut this process by appealing to men’s sexual desire, costs us emotional commitment from men.


So, the best thing to do to get men to want to commit to you fast, is to start with a genuine desire to connect. As you may have heard before, in relationships, it’s the men who are the hopeless romantics – the ones who fall in love faster than women, and the ones who truly see their ‘one and only’ as different from all the other women. (As such, what men value in a relationship is emotional connection and emotional attraction).

This doesn’t mean that women don’t fall madly in love (and not just lust), because we do – but women have been shown through research to be a bit more pragmatic than men in love. We look for his provider value and status and resources, whereas men (when they meet the right woman), just like to fall in love and commit to the right woman.

So, start with a genuine desire to connect with men. Appreciate the masculinity in every single man – look for their masculinity – even if it’s just a passion for video games and he doesn’t have a high paying job. Seek to connect and appreciate – for yourself – to add value to yourself and to appreciate the world. Stop appealing to men’s sexual desire or trying to be sexy, because, guess what? The right man will not give a damn – when you’re the one and only woman, he cares about you, because he’s emotionally attached to you.

When you’ve already established at least a 7 out of 10 level of emotional connection and emotional attraction (is in, he feels a 7 out of 10 level of both these things and so do you), then of course, you can bring out the sexual side – just don’t try to appeal to his sexual desire very early on, because it can ruin the process of building emotional attraction and emotional connection.

If you want to know the 5 secrets to Becoming His One & Only and have him fall in love and beg to commit to you, then get my FREE DVD “Becoming His One & Only”, you won’t regret it. I made it for you, and because it’s FREE, you really have nothing to lose. Check it out here: www.bhoodvd.com.

3) You are not interacting with enough men. 

I know how hard it is after a long day/week of work to make the effort to talk to anybody, or to meet men. But you don’t have to work harder! All you need to do is interact with more men during your daily running of errands, at the post office, in the grocery store, or even in the coffee shop. (in the elevator even?)

As you know, men generally find it very hard to approach women because of their fear of rejection by women – and this fear is paralysing for them at times. So, to help men come towards you, simply remove this fear for them first.

How do you do that? Well, if you do feel he’s a decent guy, just give him a slight look of acceptance FIRST. You can do this through your eyes, as an accepting look, or you can do this through your smile as an accepting smile.

This will help you engage with more men and remove their fears of approaching you. Now, obviously, you don’t want to do this with EVERY man, because you will attract even the dirtbags your way – and you really don’t want to risk getting assaulted or raped.

So, use your intuition and if he seems like a lowlife, then consider him a ‘pass’. Your body already has all the intelligence it needs in order to discern a man’s value in the first few seconds of laying eyes on him. So use that innate intelligence and don’t be silly and smile at every Tom Dick and Harry because some Tom is going to jump on it and think this is his lucky day (maybe it’ll be the last lucky day he will have!)

If you’re interested in learning how to attract men, then I have something very special for you. I’ve made a guide called ‘The 17 Attraction Triggers” and you can check out the 17 triggers and Attraction Control Monthly by clicking here.

What to do RIGHT NOW to bring Mr. Right in to your Life:

So, right now, if you still haven’t found your Mr. Right. Here is what I want you to do.

Close your eyes.

Imagine him. Imagine him…what he looks like, how he stands, how he smiles, how he talks….imagine what he values. Imagine his personality.

Feel inside yourself how nice it would feel to have this wonderful man in your life, who just takes your life to the NEXT LEVEL.

And then ask yourself this question:

“Where is this man?”

“Where does he spend his Saturday afternoons?”

“What are his passions?”

“What does he do for fun?”

Imagine where he is, and TAKE ACTION NOW, and GO where he would be.

If he is a spiritual kind of guy, go to a self development seminar.

If your Mr. Right loves football, go to a football game with a girlfriend.

And even if you DON’T get a conversation started with a man at the place you think your Mr. Right might hang out – at least you get to observe what this kind of man is like. You get to observe the football loving kind of man, for example.

Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.

Every Time you don’t get Asked out is a Chance to Learn

Let me just say one last thing: it does not matter whether you DO go out and a man DOESN’T ask for your number.


Because EVERY TIME you go out; every time you step outside of your comfort zone to do something, you take home a beautiful gift: you get the esteem of knowing that you did something uncomfortable, and you get to learn.

You get the gift of learning.

And you’ll be surprised how far this learning will take you on your road to finding Mr. Right.

By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

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In the old days i would really have to say why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, that really lucked out back then since the times were very much different as well Today most women unfortunately are very greedy, selfish, spoiled, picky, and very money hungry more than ever before which is why many of us men will never ever go with these type of women anyway. And as for the women that are very independent nowadays, well they really don’t want a man at all to begin with. This certainly has a lot to do with it why so… Read more »

Nicoline Brix
Nicoline Brix

Try a different technique in regards to makeup, or try wearing makeup if you usually don’t and see how it makes you feel. When in doubt, look up youtube tutorials for different techniques to try such as smoky eye, contour, bold lip etc. (in fact, try a bold lipstick to make the guys notice your smile!) Like with outfit choice, highlight what you like with colours and good technique and hide what you don’t like with concealer or other techniques.(For eyebrows however

And That Is Why Many Of Us Men Are Still Single
And That Is Why Many Of Us Men Are Still Single

Just too many women nowadays have a very big list of demands when it comes to finding a man to marry. Must have a full head of hair with no baldness at all, be in very excellent shape with no fat at all, have a very excellent high salary job, own a million dollar home, and drive a very expensive car as well. And i am very sure they have more list of demands as well since most of these women nowadays are just real golddiggers to begin with in the first place. Wow, such a list of demands that… Read more »


You certainly very much nailed it, since most women back many years ago were the very complete opposite of today and real ladies as well. Today most of these very pathetic women want the very rich Mr. Perfect type of man with the very huge bank accounts, and will never ever settle for less either. That is why finding love in the past did come so very easy, just like our family members had it.


I met my first boyfriend at age 15 and he was 22 we dated in 2008 and broke up in 2009 I thought he was mr right but he wasn’t nine years after the break up I have not dated another guy it’s a shame that guys don’t show any interest in me


I think another reason a lot of women haven’t met the right one yet is how they present themselves on Okcupid/Tinder/Bumble, etc. You need to look like the caliber of person you want to attract (smart, trustworthy, attractive, not *just* sexy or cute). This site photofeeler.com lets you test your pics so you know how they come across to men before you use them on dating apps.


Hi, I am a divorced 28 year old good looking girl. I think I have always attracted wrong men. What I want in a man is to be good looking, very well spoken, broadminded, not religious, and not judgemental. I think there are some guys of this type at work who are intrested in me, but they dont approach maybe because I dont have guy friends and I look very serious when guys are around. But there is this one guy who seems really interested. We have interacted a few times for some official purposes through email. But he seems… Read more »

Fernando Lanas
Fernando Lanas
Reply to  Sara

Why dont you approach him instead?

holly patterson
holly patterson

This is excellent, but the thing is, is its always the other way around. I’m the vulnerable one and the one who is committed. I’m also open and upfront. What I find my main issue is that I keep picking losers. These guys act one way then turn around and do another thing they are not genuine. The good thing is that now with my experiences I don’t waste my time anymore. I don’t think its bad to focus on yourself before you find the right guy, I have heard lots of advice that you should have your own life… Read more »


This article is pure fucking madness.

Motivate yourself to change by typecasting the “ideal” man and then “fixing” yourself to become something you are not to attract this guy?

Jesus. Men are shallow but this is some of the worst dating advice I have ever seen.

Emily Greene
Emily Greene

While well-intentioned, perhaps, I think this entire thing is bogus. Your advice doesn’t work for all women.


Oh my goodness… All the doubts, all the fears… This is pain indeed.
True. These are really reasons for being alone: 1) wanting to be alone (comfy-comfy) 2) not working on yourself to be the woman your man wants 3) not knowing how attraction works.
The best. Again.

Sharon Hall
Sharon Hall

Some people are content to be single. It’s not the horror you make it out to be. Not every person is defined by who they are with. This is the kind of thinking that sent girls to school for their MRS degree.

Brittany Thomas
Brittany Thomas

Well…What about someone like me who keeps attracting men who are ugly?! Not just on the outside, but the inside as well?! The ones who treat me like crap, who seem to think I am no good for anything besides screwing around with?! These same men constantly tell me what all is wrong with me, while exhibiting all kinds of trainwreck behavior! They remind me of my severely abusive father! What about all that, huh?! Someone tell me why all these bad eggs come my way!


Subconsciely you might be attracting these jerk men bc they are like your father. We tend to gravitate to what is familiar to us, whether its healthy or not. I dont know your situation with your father but from what I gather after reading your comment you might have some major healing that needs to take place bc of the abuse you experience. I think self love, self celebration and saying “fuck you!” to the abuse needs to happen before seeking a relationship. A healthy one that is. That said, I am so sorry you had to go thru your… Read more »

Benallou Ali Lisa
Benallou Ali Lisa

One of the reasons most haven’t yet found Mr. Right, is because they waste too much of their time on all the men who are Mr. Wrong.


So very true.


I have the solution lol…This article is great for girls who have issues and no experience. But I agree with some of the ladies…there is an epidemic of inmature, high maintenance men that do everything to win you over then they sit on their butts, stop doing and being the man you like but expect you to be there and not leave, I love the stupid confused look on their faces when you cut them off and give every reason, they still down own it…why? Because so many women out there are so desperate for a men they will put… Read more »

Reply to  Sunset

Men say exactly the same thing about women, and society always has had issues like this.

The real truth here is that people never change, ever. They are the same over and over. All that is different now is that women do not -need- a man anymore; now they just want one. But you can run your own house now, and society isn’t quite used to this yet. Probably gonna take another couple hundred years.

Ivy Autor
Ivy Autor

This is so brilliant. I just turned 19 yesterday. And I want to share that I found the right one, REAL MAN for me last year. One of my bible study leaders asked us to write a list of qualities of the man we pray God would destine for us. I cannot believe that all the qualities and unbelievable signs I have written down will be embodied by a man who’s currently my lover now! I had written some songs that I’d like to hear from him and gifts or surprises I’d love to receive and HE unbelievably made it… Read more »

Sharon Hall
Sharon Hall
Reply to  Ivy Autor

A lover.


I appreciate you understand us, I am 30 now n m still single , every time I like someone something comes up n it doesn’t work out, at present I like this guy at my work , but I don’t even know if he likes me back coz he never makes an effort to get close to me infact if I try by saying something nice while chatting, I feel he freaks out, I want to go to next level with him but its frustrating sometimes ,,,,I m so lost here,


I loved your article, and yes most of it can be related to the law of attraction, In this case more like a Mirror Law, You attract what you are, and It has happened to me over my many years of dating. It’s not being aware of my own flaws that had lead me to really hurtful and unhealthy relationships, the problem now; after realizing all the changes I had to do within myself is, that the expectations I have of a man that I now want in my life might be to high, since Im trying to be my… Read more »

Chanda Thomsen
Chanda Thomsen

Actually the reason I have not met the right man is because all men want an anorexic 20 year old woman that is vacuous. Seriously. We have a stunted generation of Peter Pan men and no matter how much you work on you some women, like me will die alone.

Reply to  Chanda Thomsen

I agree! The men are too boy like and immature now. I am attractive and I get asked out a couple of times a week and I just don’t go. I’d rather be by myself, with my friends or family than with little boys or men that are control freaks. (Which it seems to be a dichotomy : either immature boys or control freaks or even worse both of those qualities together! ) Granted there are great men out there but they are far and few between – the great men are usually taken and if they are not they… Read more »

Reply to  Renee Wade

That’s exactly what I meant! I’m glad you got my point- there are a few good men- but I actually disagree and think that there are more great woman than great men for whatever reason- it could be perhaps due to cultural influences. Further, I have lived by this rule that you write about – be the woman the type of man you are looking for would want to be with! I have and a lot of men want to be with me, but honestly there are not a lot of good quality men, – truly good men. And yes,… Read more »

Reply to  Kate

“The men need to improve themselves and women need to not put up with that behavior from them” Just want to clarify, a good man doesn’t seek a woman who always complain and talking about “man up” or something like that. The reason woman hard to find a good men is because too much complaining, and man needs to “bla bla bla”… “Bottom line -they need us more than we need them;)” I’ts like you put yourself in pedestal. The answers is No, we need each other, if you believe it’s true, then it’s not surprised if you haven’t found… Read more »

Reply to  Chanda Thomsen

Men have always been biologically programmed to seek young and beautiful women to bear offspring with. This is not a generational thing and will never change. Accept that you squandered your youth riding cock instead of using it to secure a high value man. Men have always been like this.


I think you are a genius thanks for all those beautiful advice, now I understand why I haven’t find anyone wet. There is one thing I must correct you on. When God created man and woman He gave us the ability to love one another, God told us that the truth love, is gentle, caring, giving, patient, loyal, give support, doesn’t, envy, isn’t selfish.


Being trying to attract the right man using the law of attraction countless times and it simply dosnt work for this
Don’t relate to this article at all.

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