This Is Why Women REALLY Push Men Away

…Because pushing him away is a lot better than feeling him ‘here’ with us and consequently being more vulnerable to his betrayal. Especially if we’ve been truly open and vulnerable to him.

…Because we want you to work harder for us.

…Because we are scared to trust you.

…Because outside of our natural desire for sex during/before ovulation, or the beginning or the end of a menstrual cycle, our desire for sex is lower, and sex takes a lot of energy when we don’t want it.

…Because relationships take courage that we are too scared to have.

…Because some men don’t provide enough value to us in order to warrant us being very connected to them.

…Because men just don’t understand…until they do understand. And if he’s a good man, he really will understand one day.

…Because somebody else abandoned us. And pushing people away is a coping mechanism for perceived eventual hurt. Sorry, it’s just that…abandonment hurts and as a consequence, relationships just don’t feel as ‘real’ or ‘worth it’ anymore.

…Because men are different to us. Even if women and men are both human. Men are different, and if we were honest, dealing with that is frightening sometimes.

…Because we want to feel in control. Letting go means losing control, and losing control means we’ll be judged. By women, funnily enough.

…Because having a man around might mean being more free, safe, and vulnerable. And in feeling more free, safe and vulnerable, we can also start to feel less capable. And what if we suddenly need to be all capable again? Better not risk being out of the game.

…Because when we choose to be wide open to you instead of pushing you away, we have to suddenly be someone we don’t know if we accept or even respect, ourselves. Why be someone we don’t respect?

…Because being wide open and vulnerable to you means we have to accept ourselves. And we don’t always accept ourselves.

…Because we got used to wearing masks. Masks have become our way. And it now takes less energy to wear these masks than it takes to surrender to you.

…Because we want a higher quality man.

I can’t speak for all women, but if you are like most women, inside your heart lies a deep (and almost constant desire) for love and connection.

Sometimes, there’s also a deep hurt over the love you wanted to experience with another human (any human), but for whatever reason, you have not been able to.

In fact, it is the disowning of our feelings that makes committed relationships less possible.

We secretly love relationships. We just don’t feel safe to invest in them sometimes. And – we need reassurance in order to open up. Tell me, am I wrong? Or would reassurance from a man feel good to you? 

Any reason you have for pushing a man away is ok. It’s ok to feel scared. It’s ok to feel unaccepting of ourselves and voice that to yourself and release the feeling. Every feeling has a place – and please give it a place. Allow that feeling to surface, even if it feels so lonely to acknowledge that feeling.

I am just some woman on the internet with an opinion. However, I caution you in disowning your feelings, because in doing that, we tend to repeatedly gravitate towards superficial relationships that break our soul and make us jaded. Don’t ignore your feelings, and therefore ignore what your heart truly wants.

Your head might want to work a lot to keep the seat warm at the high flying job that you have, but how does your heart feel?

Your head might want to sleep with a good looking man, but put your hand on your heart; ask your heart beforehand – how do you feel, heart? What if you never hear from him again afterwards? What if you never see him again?

Your head might want this and that, but how does your heart feel? Is it hurting? Is it yearning?

If you ignore your heart and your truest feelings, mediocre relationships will find you.

In the end, the quality of our relationships is all we have.

Which one of these reasons did you NOT relate to? What other reasons can you share for pushing a man away? Let me know in the comments, I look forward to reading what you write.




P.S. What are some other reasons you push a man away? Can you add even better reasons to this list? Please add to the list in a comment below. I always look forward to reading your ideas.

You’re a powerful goddess that can change the lives of people around you.

  • Rocoten

    I lost the man I loved about 8 months ago. We had a 3 years rls and we broke up mainly because we werent aligned at the moment and I expected too much. After a year of adjusting myself and consistency, I managed to start dating him again officially (he told friends) eventhough he never stopped loving me. Sadly life took him away from me unexpectedly.

    I have this fear that I’ll never find someone that will care for me as much as he did, and that I wont like someone just as much as I liked him. Its a scary thought. However, I met someone I enjoy talking to and befriended this person. Somehow I have a feeling that I could grow to like him but Im afraid his sweet words and openness to talk about pretty much anything without judgment are a facade. I dont want to expose myself too much to this person and get hurt. I dont want to get hurt again and for some reason I its hard to trust a man. I dont know if I should keep opening myself up to this man or “friendzone” him and avoid getting emotionally attached.
    I dont usually give to people I dont care about and I never enter meaningless relationships but once I do, boy do I enjoy showing that person that they are valuable to me.

  • lostgirl

    I pushed this guy I was dating away because he said he didn’t want kids. I knew I wanted kids someday. So I didn’t want to feel like I was wasting time by being with someone who didn’t want the same thing.

    • You pushed away the married guy?

      • lostgirl

        Yes. I’m scared to get too close to him.

  • lostgirl

    I push my friend away because he’s married. I’m attracted to help. Our chats are fun. I would feel sad if I never heard from him again.

  • Monica

    Hi Renee! Your work has been so helpful for me and my relationship ❤️. Since starting my journey to become the woman and partner I desire to be, I notice I pull away because I am insecure. My partner and I have been together for almost two years. He is wonderful, I respect and love him more than I have any man before. Sometimes, I get nervous that I am not bring enough value to his life. I get scared that I am undeserving and that one day he’ll wake up and think so too. This fear of somehow ‘being found out’ scares me to my core. I don’t know where it comes from and I’d like to shake it. 💚

  • Morgan

    Hi, Renee. I really hope you’ll see this, I have an emergency!!

    I subscribed to your Attraction Control Monthly through buying one of your deals that came with the first month of it. But now I need to be taken off, because right now I cannot afford the monthly payments. And I have sent two messages through your help desk, and one through your facebook. And I know it’s not you yourself who responds to these, so I’m not upset with YOU. But I am upset that nobody’s helping me!! I can’t lose any money and nobody seems to care or understand and I’m also becoming angry! I’m leaving this comment here because I don’t know what else to do. If you want too I even have screenshots of all the messages I’ve sent along with the dates I sent them.

  • Seenandheard

    I push him away because I feel turned off by his baby talk. Why does he do that? It doesn’t feel masculine. I feel like I’m drowning in sap. Where’s the polarity? I’m the warm, feeling, soft girl. I want him to be the hard, cold, doing man. Seriously, why does he talk like a baby with me?

    • bobsyouruncle

      Well, that defines my marriage very well, but I am a bit of a romantic, because I do like the woman in my life to know clearly how I feel.

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