This Is Why Women REALLY Push Men Away

You may have asked yourself “why do I push men away?”. This may surprise you, but many women do push men away, and they can’t seem to even stop themselves from doing it.

I’ve also had the odd man emailing me to ask me “why is she pushing me away?”, and the answer is that it could be many things.

But don’t assume that this problem of her pushing you away is unique to her. You may think the grass is greener, only when you jump ship you come to realise that every woman pushes a man away to varying degrees.

The degree and frequency in which a woman pushes a man away depends on how much she fears abandonment, and how many good role models she’s had for how to act in relationships (especially when she’s scared).

For the man reading this: just know that if a woman pushes you away, it’s not necessarily because she wants to, or even because she’s consciously aware of what she’s doing.

It is usually due to inability to regulate her own emotions (being with a man she loves magnifies every single emotion she has, and therefore the closer she gets to him, the more out of control she feels).

The ore out of control a woman feels, the more vulnerable she is to a man. And this vulnerability is extremely scary. Any honest woman would admit that to you.

Women are vulnerable creatures, by virtue of the fact that they have to bear, carry and raise babies.

The task of raising babies requires sensitivity (as a man you don’t want an insensitive woman raising your child, and any smart man would run the other way before committing to a woman who shows no sensitivity, because it’s a huge red flag in terms of her capability as a mother).

So women are very vulnerable and more sensitive in general. In fact, studies have even shown that our skin is more sensitive than men’s.

For a lot of women, it’s hard to know how to calibrate this vulnerability when getting close to a man.

Because she risks more by being sexually involved, she is much more likely to be thrown off course by unexpected strong emotions.

With this in mind, I think we should all have some appreciation for women’s emotional and physical vulnerability when considering why they push a man way.

Sure, some ways in which women push a man away are not pretty. They are downright damaging.

Notwithstanding that fact, it’s possible for us all to dislike the behaviour, whilst still understanding the intent: to protect herself.

this is why women really push men away

Why Do Women Push Men Away: The Uncomfortable Reasons

…Because pushing him away is a lot better than feeling him ‘here’ with us and consequently being more vulnerable to his betrayal. Especially if we’ve been truly open and vulnerable to him.

…Because we want you to work harder for us.

…Because we are scared to trust you.

…Because outside of our natural desire for sex during/before ovulation, or the beginning or the end of a menstrual cycle, our desire for sex is lower. And during those times, sex takes a lot of energy when our bodies don’t want it.

…Because relationships take courage that we are too scared to have.

Related: Why Do I push People Away? Signs You Push People Away.

…Because some men don’t provide enough value to us in order to warrant us being very connected to them.

…Because men just don’t understand…until they do understand. And if he’s a good man, he really will understand one day.

…Because somebody else abandoned us. And pushing people away is a coping mechanism for perceived eventual hurt.

Sorry, it’s just that…abandonment hurts and as a consequence, relationships just don’t feel as ‘real’ or ‘worth it’ anymore.

…Because men are different to us. Even if women and men are both human. Men are different, and if we were honest, dealing with that is frightening sometimes.

…Because we want to feel in control. Letting go means losing control, and losing control means we’ll be judged. By women, funnily enough.

…Because having a man around might mean being more free, safe, and vulnerable. And in feeling more free, safe and vulnerable, we can also start to feel less capable. And what if we suddenly need to be all capable again? Better not risk being out of the game.

…Because when we choose to be wide open to you instead of pushing you away, we have to suddenly be someone we don’t know if we accept or even respect, ourselves. Why be someone we don’t respect?

…Because being wide open and vulnerable to you means we have to accept ourselves. And we don’t always accept ourselves.

…Because we got used to wearing masks. Masks have become our way. And it now takes less energy to wear these masks than it takes to surrender to you.

…Because we want a higher quality man.

Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!

Disowning Your Feelings Makes You Push Men Away More…

I can’t speak for all women, but if you are like most women, inside your heart lies a deep (and almost constant desire) for love and connection.

Sometimes, there’s also a deep hurt over the love you wanted to experience with another human (any human), but for whatever reason, you have not been able to.

In fact, it is the disowning of our feelings that makes committed relationships less possible.

We secretly love relationships. We just don’t feel safe to invest in them sometimes.

And – we need reassurance in order to open up.

We sometimes need a lot more reassurance of a man’s commitment to us than we’d like to admit.

Tell me, am I wrong? Or would reassurance from a man feel good to you? 

For the sake of grieving and moving on to a better place in your relationships, just know that any reason you have for pushing a man away is ok to have.

You don’t need to deny it, lie about it or pretend it’s not there. If you do that, then bad behaviours will manifest more, and cause you to hurt your man even more!

It’s ok to feel scared. It’s ok to feel unaccepting of ourselves and voice that to yourself and release the feeling.

Every feeling has a place – and please give it a place. Allow that feeling to surface, even if it feels so lonely to acknowledge that feeling.

See my article on: Should I Control My Emotions To Be High Value? 

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

Why Do I push Men Away? Because You Never Did This

When women never process emotions and grieve, the backlog of emotion gets too much.

Somewhere deep down inside, we all sense this. We just don’t know how to deal with it.

The women who never grieve and feel deeply (settling for addictions and other creature comforts instead), are far more prone to pushing men away.

Also, women who don’t have much emotional support around them may find it harder to open up to a man and bring him closer rather than pushing him away.

I am just some woman on the internet with an opinion.

However, I caution all women in disowning their feelings (unless they are at work and must do so for professional reasons).

By dissociating from your feelings and pushing them away, we tend to repeatedly gravitate towards superficial relationships that break our soul and make us jaded.

Don’t ignore your feelings, and therefore ignore what your heart truly wants.

Your head might want to work a lot to keep the seat warm at the high flying job that you have, but how does your heart feel?

Your head and your impulses might want to sleep with a good looking man, but put your hand on your heart and ask your heart beforehand – how do you feel about doing this?

What will you feel if he leaves you afterwards?

What if you never hear from him again afterwards? What if you never see him again?

Your head might want this and that, but how does your heart feel? Is it hurting? Is it yearning?

If you ignore your heart and your truest feelings, mediocre relationships will find you.

In the end, the quality of our relationships is all we have.

If you want to know IF you push men away (or why you push men away), here’s an article on Why Do I Push People Away? Signs You Push People Away & How To Stop. 

Thanks for reading! Which one of these reasons did you NOT relate to?

What other reasons can you share for pushing a man away? Let me know in the comments, I look forward to reading what you write.

Case Study: Learn How our member Alison went from attracting perpetual abusive relationships… …To finally learning the skill of weeding out the wrong types of men, and passing the hardest test of them all… an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating! (…All by learning one simple skill.)

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program, “Becoming His One & Only”. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

renee wade

P.S. What are some other reasons you push a man away? Can you add even better reasons to this list? Please add to the list in a comment below. I always look forward to reading your ideas.

You’re a powerful goddess that can change the lives of people around you.

P.S. Connect with me on social media

Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link

P.P.S. Have you checked out our High Value Banter class where we teach you about the 3 rules for “High Value Banter” to help you create romantic tension and emotional attraction with men online? Check it out!

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Morgan
Morgan

I definitely relate to the abandonment one. But more so with the same guy, the second I feel my boyfriend has abandoned me, even for just a minute, I tend to shut down or even become aggressive and push him away. Luckily I know how to open back up thanks to you. 🙂

amber
amber

Only women can free men. Start loving yourself and loving a man like you love yourself regardless of romantic interest who are pretty much just like you and you will have more empathy. Men want love sex release freedom emotions and a home and heart just like you. Women keep disrespecting themselves men will continue to follow suit. And that ultimate means being open to God no matter the outcome

Diane Kirwen
Diane Kirwen

I don’t trust him…..I feel like he is always “looking over the fence”! Women at church opening flirt with him in front of me! It’s like I am invisible to them all. So, how can I trust when I am not there if this I how it is when I am?

Natasha Mc
Natasha Mc

I am definitely afraid of being abandoned and deceived after I invest all I have. I have this perception that men will eventually get tired of me and become abusive or just leave instead. This is after a horrible abusive relationship, and two who refused to commit (regardless of my efforts) after.

Michaela K
Michaela K

I push a man when I don’t feel appreciated,seen,valued…truly cared for. When a man disrespects me…it hits a deep wound ..growing up with a disrespectful,hurtful father.

Kat Onetwo
Kat Onetwo

I push a man away because at the root of being vulnerable is the real fear of intimacy. What I now now of intimacy is much deeper than saying I love you in my youth and past marriage. This intimacy that makes me decide to accept the person before me and myself; that requires verbal communication opens the glued pieces of my heart to light; to examine the chips and gaps; and then look at it in whole. I push away a man because it is hard to look deep into myself.

disqus_KVFluf4Y0b
disqus_KVFluf4Y0b

Thank you for this Renee. I feel like you read my mind. I’ve been feeling recently like I would just give up and stay single, because I struggle with this so much. My big reason is that I find it very difficult to respect men and trust their leadership. I meet so few men that I respect. I feel like I’m much happier, more productive, and at peace when I’m single. But instead of just accepting this, I feel like I’m being judgmental and not really understanding. I follow (and love) your work, your husband David’s, and many others trying… Read more »

Jer'mie Carriere
Jer'mie Carriere

” After being hurt by constant lies and empty promises, just wanting a loving 2 sided relationship but then being told what i want is just a fantasy. Believing real love is out there and that i am worthy of it just seems so distant if at all possible.”

Doro
Doro

Renee: When will you write an article that is directed at mature women? I have friends in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s who are forever asking how to meet men, where are the good men hiding, why are men so dumb, etc? When the reproductive aspect is taken out, and mature wisdom steps in, these women have these questions with no answers. Can you help?

nena
nena

Great article Renne!thank you Here are some other reasons: Because -We want to ask for something (more dates,more communication,tenderness etc.) and we dont know how to ask for it! -Something about your behavior or your expressions reminded us of an ex that tore us apart! -We want you to grab us and shout:what s wrong??? -Something you did annoyed us and we want you to discover it by yourself 🙂 🙂 -We want more attention -We are nuts 🙂 🙂 🙂 Also,i think it is a great idea for you to write short articles more often Because -It makes me… Read more »

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