Article updated 2018
This Is Why Women REALLY Push Men Away
…Because pushing him away is a lot better than feeling him ‘here’ with us and consequently being more vulnerable to his betrayal. Especially if we’ve been truly open and vulnerable to him.
…Because we want you to work harder for us.
…Because we are scared to trust you.
…Because outside of our natural desire for sex during/before ovulation, or the beginning or the end of a menstrual cycle, our desire for sex is lower, and sex takes a lot of energy when we don’t want it.
…Because relationships take courage that we are too scared to have.
…Because some men don’t provide enough value to us in order to warrant us being very connected to them.
…Because men just don’t understand…until they do understand. And if he’s a good man, he really will understand one day.
…Because somebody else abandoned us. And pushing people away is a coping mechanism for perceived eventual hurt. Sorry, it’s just that…abandonment hurts and as a consequence, relationships just don’t feel as ‘real’ or ‘worth it’ anymore.
…Because men are different to us. Even if women and men are both human. Men are different, and if we were honest, dealing with that is frightening sometimes.
…Because we want to feel in control. Letting go means losing control, and losing control means we’ll be judged. By women, funnily enough.
…Because having a man around might mean being more free, safe, and vulnerable. And in feeling more free, safe and vulnerable, we can also start to feel less capable. And what if we suddenly need to be all capable again? Better not risk being out of the game.
…Because when we choose to be wide open to you instead of pushing you away, we have to suddenly be someone we don’t know if we accept or even respect, ourselves. Why be someone we don’t respect?
…Because being wide open and vulnerable to you means we have to accept ourselves. And we don’t always accept ourselves.
…Because we got used to wearing masks. Masks have become our way. And it now takes less energy to wear these masks than it takes to surrender to you.
…Because we want a higher quality man.
I can’t speak for all women, but if you are like most women, inside your heart lies a deep (and almost constant desire) for love and connection.
Sometimes, there’s also a deep hurt over the love you wanted to experience with another human (any human), but for whatever reason, you have not been able to.
In fact, it is the disowning of our feelings that makes committed relationships less possible.
We secretly love relationships. We just don’t feel safe to invest in them sometimes. And – we need reassurance in order to open up. Tell me, am I wrong? Or would reassurance from a man feel good to you?
Any reason you have for pushing a man away is ok. It’s ok to feel scared. It’s ok to feel unaccepting of ourselves and voice that to yourself and release the feeling. Every feeling has a place – and please give it a place. Allow that feeling to surface, even if it feels so lonely to acknowledge that feeling.
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I am just some woman on the internet with an opinion. However, I caution you in disowning your feelings, because in doing that, we tend to repeatedly gravitate towards superficial relationships that break our soul and make us jaded. Don’t ignore your feelings, and therefore ignore what your heart truly wants.
Your head might want to work a lot to keep the seat warm at the high flying job that you have, but how does your heart feel?
Your head might want to sleep with a good looking man, but put your hand on your heart; ask your heart beforehand – how do you feel, heart? What if you never hear from him again afterwards? What if you never see him again?
Your head might want this and that, but how does your heart feel? Is it hurting? Is it yearning?
If you ignore your heart and your truest feelings, mediocre relationships will find you.
In the end, the quality of our relationships is all we have.
Which one of these reasons did you NOT relate to? What other reasons can you share for pushing a man away? Let me know in the comments, I look forward to reading what you write.
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
P.S. What are some other reasons you push a man away? Can you add even better reasons to this list? Please add to the list in a comment below. I always look forward to reading your ideas.
You’re a powerful goddess that can change the lives of people around you.
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