Why did he commit to her and not me?
What does she have that I don’t?
These are valid, yet painful questions to ask yourself. But that pain is not here to deliberately hurt you.
Instead, the pain is there to spur you towards finding answers.
Good answers. Better answers.
So that you do not end up in a relationship with a guy who just uses you all over again.
Let me share something important with you.
There is a huge difference between the types of women that men commit to, versus the types of women that men leave. And the difference is not what you think it is.
I used to know this woman who was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Everywhere she went, she turned heads, and her beauty was other-worldy.
She had all the ideal feminine features any man could want in a woman.
On top of that, she had a great bubbly personality, so all the guys loved to talk to her and interact with her.
Yet, all throughout her life, she kept attracting men and relationships that were subpar, damaging, and even toxic!
She had a boyfriend in high school who ended up abusing her and cheated on her.
She had a boyfriend in university who would ignore her and cheated on her as well.
She then found a boyfriend who was so passive in their relationship that she couldn’t take it any longer and left that relationship at the age of 29.
It was literally impossible for her to keep a decent relationship for more than a few short years. Yet she is as physically attractive as any woman can be!
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How does that even happen?
How can you look as great as she did, and end up alone and lonely?
Her exes would break up with her, and go on to quickly commit to someone else.
Just like you, she was left wondering “why did he commit to her and not me?”
Well, as women, we’re conditioned to try to increase our external beauty as much as we can, but maybe that really isn’t the answer!
On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve known women who were very average looking in appearance who easily and effortlessly inspire long term commitment from men.
Sure, they didn’t get the excitement of men drooling over them in the streets as often as maybe some other women would.
But they actually won the ultimate prize. The most valuable thing a woman can receive from a man: him falling in love with her and emotionally committing to her.
And only her.
Maybe these women won the less noticed, and less glamorous prize, but it was the best prize of all: the prize of a man’s unconditional devotion and commitment.
They didn’t just have men lusting after them on the streets. They had men falling in love with them.
And I’m sure you are aware of the difference between lust and desire and falling in love.
On that note, you may want to read this popular article by D. Shen on why men don’t fall in love with perfect women.
So: Why Did He Commit To Her And Not Me?
So the answer here is definitely not in perfecting your appearance, even though we often think it is.
You see, ultimately the difference between the types of women that men commit to, and the types of women men leave, comes down to a few small factors that you may not even be aware of as a woman.
We try to look attractive, be intelligent and dress well and we think that this is what men will commit to. But nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is that your looks and your personality don’t really matter nearly as much as you think when it comes to getting men to commit to you.
The little known secret is that men love to commit to the type of woman that they consciously and subconsciously believe are their one and only type of woman.
But what does that really mean?
It means that your man has subconsciously made the decision to seriously invest and commit to you and only you. There’s only space for 1 woman in a man’s one and only category.
And by the way, marriage isn’t the ultimate sign that you’re a man’s one and only woman.
Marriage CAN be a sign that you are a man’s one and only – but it’s his emotional commitment that will make all the difference.
Men can get married for many different reasons, but they always, and I mean always, emotionally commit to their one and only.
But marriage and emotional commitment don’t always go hand in hand, and I’m sure you’ve noticed that.
So what we’re looking for here is to get a man’s emotional commitment.
When you get his emotional commitment, he will never want to stop loving you and protecting you. He will give you everything he has. He’ll give his energy, money, time and attention.
So how do you become your chosen man’s one and only type of woman?
Well, one key factor is how “high value” you show up.
There are certain signs that make men perceive you as a high value woman. I’m not going to cover what these are because I’ve already written tons of other articles and videos on this very topic.
Another factor to becoming his one and only is the display of maternal instinct.
This is actually something that isn’t really talked about. But it is one important element that men factor in when they look for their one and only woman.
In total there are 5 key points to becoming the woman that every man would love to commit to. You can learn what these 5 key points are in my new program “Becoming His One & Only”. CLICK here to check it out.
(The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…)
You Have Everything You Need Inside You Right Now To Get A Commitment
See, you as a woman have everything it takes to inspire your man’s deepest commitment and make him want you and only you, even if you don’t feel attractive or don’t think you have a great personality.
It’s just not about that! In order for you to have and experience that deeply committed relationship that us as feminine women all crave, you need to understand what it takes to become your man’s one and only.
That is where all of your answers lie.
Because here’s the inconvenient truth: a man will give you all of his time, attention, emotional energy and resources when you become his one and only type of woman.
And he will give you virtually nothing when he sees you as his one of many.
When You’re not The One And Only, You Get CRUMBS
When I say virtually nothing, I mean he’ll do the absolute bare minimum just to keep you around.
That means that he’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around as a resource in his life, but never anything more.
(I have a whole article about this on Why Does He Keep Me Around When He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?)
But that’s nothing like the love, the adoration and the commitment that women receive when they’ve become their man’s one and only.
Make it a point from now on, that when you’re dating, you:
- Always make sure you show up as the one and only and never let yourself fall into the basket of ‘one of many’, and if you do, exit quickly
- Test a man’s intentions so that you don’t waste precious time with toxic men or men who aren’t ever going to invest in you; and
- Put a high price on your time and energy (in other words, make sure that a man has to earn your time and energy, you don’t just give him your time endlessly because you’re lonely)
There is a lot to discover about how to show up as the one and only so that you can inspire him to fall in love and beg YOU for a commitment.
This is why I’ve put together a very special program titled “Becoming His one and only”.
Inside this program, I want to teach you in detail the 5 secrets to having your chosen man fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.
You can get yourself a copy of this program by clicking here.
Anyway that’s enough from me, I hope this article has helped you and I can’t wait to speak to you again very soon.
P.S. By the way, here’s a fun article I wrote on 5 Unconventional Ways to Make Him Love You More.
P.P.S. Connect with me on social media
Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.