As a woman in this modern dating world, it’s imperative that you become aware of the signs of low quality men.
It might seem arrogant to deem someone as having low value, or low mate value. And, it’s not easy to be the ‘mean’ girl, sitting there, evaluating whether he is a high value man or not.
By mate value, I mean the signs that show a man’s overall value as a romantic partner.
It also refers to his potential reproductive success. For example, a strong, healthy and confident man would most likely have more reproductive success than an unhealthy, lazy, unconfident man.
I know it seems unfair. But without me even saying it, we all make many (not all) decisions to be romantically involved with, or even be friends with day to day, based on how much value that person presents.
It happens everywhere around the world. And the best thing about it is that mate value can be influenced within ourselves. Our mate value can go up or down, if we want it to, and so can a man’s.
Check out my special report on the 7 Common Signs A Woman is Low Value in The Eyes of Men.
Choose Good Men, That’s Your Job
Us women owe it to ourselves, to evolution, and to other women around us, watching us as an example, to choose good men.
(To help you choose a high value man, here’s an article I wrote 10 Telltale Signs He is A Highly Evolved, Deeply Masculine Alpha Male.)
We owe it to the next generation as we owe it to our ancestors.
Now, choosing a good man doesn’t mean you choose the best looking guy or the richest guy. In fact, a resourceful man is worth far more in the long run than the size of a man’s wallet or bank account.
No Need To Feel Guilty About Judging A Man’s Mate Value…
Forget feeling guilty about it. Men evaluate women harshly too. And men understand naturally, that when they invest in a mate (ie: commitment), that she better be good.
This is not our choice. It’s what we naturally want, when we date. We want high value for our investment. A good catch, basically.
No man wants to willingly put his emotions, money, time, energy, resources into a woman who wants to show up low value.
(By the way, there are exactly 7 signs a woman is Low Value in the eyes of men. Do you know what they are? Find out here).
And, women don’t want to invest their time, energy, money, resources and emotions in a man who shows up low value.
The world isn’t always kind. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to talk about mate value, and it’s okay to learn about what makes a human male or female, high mate value.
Especially since when you’re just dating, you are always evaluating a man for his value to you anyway. In the world of love, this is a harsh truth that we cannot escape.
In the dating stages, everything it a test of our value. Man or woman.
We don’t want someone with low mate value, only because it doesn’t serve us – and it doesn’t serve the future generation.
The author Joe Quirk says something about women, along the lines of this…
Remember every time you choose a deadbeat you are influencing the future generation. Not only in terms of your children, but you’re telling evolution that it’s okay to keep producing deadbeats, because women will choose them.
Men evolve traits because women like it that way. Take the penis for example. It evolved to become larger because women picked men with larger penises.
So while you come with inbuilt ‘low mate value receptors’, it also helps to gain knowledge and skills in the process of evaluating a man.
Now, every woman has different preferences. While one woman might want the leading males of the social group, others want a more submissive, softer male. Either is appealing to different women for different reasons.
(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)
What If You Don’t Feel Deserving Of The Highest Mate Value Men?
For some women, they don’t feel like they are deserving of the type of man they truly want, so they pretend they don’t want him.
This post is here to hopefully help you make an authentic decision about what your body truly wants in a man.
It’s to say…hey, it’s okay to hold yourself as high value and not say: “I’ll take any man. Beggars can’t be choosers.”
Don’t forget that I’m just one woman writing this, and it is influenced by my own worldview and my research even if I try my best to be objective, so always be open to thinking critically for yourself and your future.
Which Man? The Most Important Decision You’ll Ever Make…
Which man you choose is the most important decision you’ll ever make. And that is for the quality of your life!
It will influence your future health and happiness, and consequently, the future health and happiness of all your family and friends.
Disclaimer: a man can exhibit one or two of these signs and still be high value mate.
Sometimes, he has a bad day or a bad period in his life. However, if a man continually exhibits two or more of these signs, then it could indicate a chronic problem of being low value.
At the end of the day, don’t force a relationship for the sake of it, when you know in your body that you don’t trust him. If you chronically don’t trust him, chances are, other women won’t either.
Here are the 7 Burning Signs a man is being “Low Value”…
Low Value Sign 1: He Can’t Tolerate You Saying ‘No’.
This is one of the telltale signs of low quality men. They have zero regard for your feelings, and they walk around like entitled schmucks.
Now, to be clear: it requires a good woman, who is not in a fearful state, to interpret properly, whether he truly cannot tolerate your ‘no’.
What I mean is sometimes, we mistake a man’s intentions. And this is the rule for all women, because you think with your woman’s worldview. And you see the world differently, acting from a different place than your man would.
This means that you unintentionally put your own meaning upon a man’s actions, and this is an entirely normal, human thing to do.
You could have been doing this throughout all your dating experiences, not realising that there are consequences to grossly misinterpreting men’s intentions.
(Related: learn more about the secrets of the masculine perspective, as well as what men want from you here.)
How Do You Really Know If He Can Tolerate Your ‘No’ Or Not?
First of all, tell him ‘no’ whilst being totally connected to him. Don’t do it for the sake of seeming higher value.
Your ability to say ‘no’ is the one word that can distinguish you as a high value woman over over women. But you have to really feel safe within yourself in order to say that one word, and believe what you’re saying.
There’s no need to say it for the sake of saying it.
If you say it for the sake of saying it instead of saying it because you’re deeply attuned to him and his intentions, you won’t be able to really decide whether he is a good man or not.
As a woman, it’s easy to interpret a man’s response as not being able to tolerate her ‘no’, when we are, in that particular moment, fearful or afraid of truly connecting with him or even just judgmental.
In effect, we think he can’t tolerate it, but we pulled away from him emotionally before we could even have a chance to truly feel whether he is willing to accept our ‘no’.
So, what I’m saying is this:
Provided you are totally present with a man and you haven’t pulled away from connection with him (nor has he with you), your should be able to accurately feel whether he can tolerate your ‘no’.
Then if you say ‘no’ to being touched or grabbed, or say no to anything else, and he just gets angry at you for not giving him what he wants, then you can be pretty sure he’s being low value.
It has to be a good, firm no.
Not a no that comes from the intent to mess around with him and make him angry.
If, in response to you exerting your boundaries or saying ‘no’ he wants to bring you down for it, that’s an issue. That’s a red flag in dating!
If he can’t engage lovingly and playfully with you, that’s an issue.
If he can’t even laugh in enjoyment with you when you say ‘no’, then he might well have low mate value.
A self contained, high value man will enjoy women saying no to him. It’s fun. It’s push and pull. It’s a feeling of like ‘finally, a woman who can push back!’
A man who feels like this is his last chance on earth ever to get some pussy might be more likely to get all upset or angry at you for saying no. Or, even call you names like ‘frigid’ for saying no.
Low Value Sign 2: He Puts You Down.
It’s not only silly people like me who say this – scientists say it too. Putting a woman down is an insecure, low value man’s way of trying to keep her chained to him. The has the effect of reducing her self esteem; making her feel like her ‘other options’ in men out there are limited.
The smaller a woman feels, the better for a man acting small.
The more a man can make a woman doubt herself, the more likely a small man can make his woman small and close to home, too.
And boom! He’s secured his reproductive future. As I said, it’s not just me, some of the world’s most powerful researchers have discovered this by studying humans in the dating market.
Women can get stuck in this situation where a man is often trying to beat down her self esteem.
This is because (in general), we tend towards feeling guilty more than men do. Some men sense this about women and play on it.
They keep you “hooked” in to relationship with them by inducing guilt in you, and it’s called gaslighting. Don’t play that game. Instead, poke him in the eye and run.
I’m kidding. Just run.
Ok maybe “just run” is cheap advice. What I’m saying is, don’t be afraid to walk away. In fact, never be afraid to walk away from a toxic relationship.
What’s bad about this trait of low value in men is not necessarily that the man has this trait. It’s the fact that many women tolerate it. When women tolerate it, men don’t change their behaviour!
You get what you tolerate; so be an inspiration, don’t tolerate being treated like a piece of sh*t on his shoe.
Low Value Sign 3: He Is Very Concerned About His Image.
Everything is for show. I have trouble trusting men like this; as he’s not self contained and of substance, even if he has the potential to be. And every man has the potential to be.
How can you trust a man who spends more energy painting an image than he spends in his actual business?
How can you trust a man who spends more energy defending himself than he does revealing himself?
Here’s an article on Why You Can’t Trust People & 6 Hidden Signs They’re Untrustworthy.
To be clear: it’s not a strict THING men do that makes them image focused.
It’s not, say, driving a Ferrari. Some men drive a Ferrari for the novelty of it. Some men go into huge debt or scam people to get the Ferrari for the image.
So it’s the place a man comes from inside when he does something.
So the question you should ask yourself is: what’s REALLY motivating him?
Often, a man who is image focused can’t stay connected to you and nor can he ever be attuned to you.
This is because he’s too afraid and feels too unworthy to connect. He’s focused on image, because he thinks that will make him worthy of connection.
Men who spend money they don’t have on nice cars, men who start businesses and never commit to it.
Men who start a business for the image but drive the business into the ground within 5 years because, it was only ever there for their image, not for serving people. (A surprising number of men do this).
It’s harder for any of us, man or woman, to actually care about, and carefully build a business that adds value to its customers.
This is one reason to remember that the amount of money a man appears to have (or does have), is not always a sign that he is a high value man. In fact, a broke or jobless man could still be high value.
So, it’s not what the man ostensibly has or seemingly “gives” to you in the initial stages. It’s who he is inside and the value that’s contained inside of him!
And just be warned. For some men; the building a business thing is just for show, to try to seem high status and get more sex and more women; but these types of men are the ones who end up in jail, or become old and single.
Low Value Men Examples…
I’ll be honest. I know of 3 men who have done the kind of thing I just mentioned. Personally and professionally. One of them I never liked after meeting him at a Tony Robbins event, but he somehow kept showing up in my life.
Let me briefly tell you his story. He was posting images all over facebook with the women he hired at his “modelling agency”, with tag-lines such as “this photo never ceases to make me feel good about myself.”
He was luring potential employees into an “internship” deal, making them think they’d eventually get paid….but they didn’t.
It was bait and switch, and he was being very dishonest. Boy, did he get in trouble for that. Eventually people found out. He tried to flee the country, but the police found him at the airport and he was fined and of course his company was liquidated.
And another “businessman” I know of is building a ‘charity’, but is actually on the dole or government welfare, and living at home at the age of 33.
When you hear him speak about it and you watch the way he talks about women, which I have many times over, it is so obvious that the ‘charity’ was a way to lure unthinking women in.
The charity gives them this image of ‘authority’ and status (owner of a business), but also the image of being an owner of a charity!
Don’t we all love a benevolent man!
This is not being negative. This is being aware.
We are mammals and have survival and sex driving us. Some of us are more driven by these things than others. Some of us are more driven by short-term gratification than others.
Don’t Fall For The Image, Look Deeper.
So here’s the real lesson:
Don’t fall for the image.
Some men will risk almost anything for sex and for the appearance of status. Status also serves a man in his quest for gaining power and sex.
Look, 90% of male elephant seals die virgins. This is to say, hey, males want to get it in there.
For a male who produces sperm and not eggs (like you and I), the feeling is not “there’s plenty of sex everywhere”, the default lizard brain (un-evolved brain) feeling is that sex isn’t that plentiful.
And the men who don’t feel they have a lot of options will approach sex and women as if it’s the last time they’ll ever get it.
Ie: Milk the unsuspecting women (who don’t see through their BS) of as much as they can, and then run. There’s a term for this: “pump and dump”.
I know none of this sounds very nice, but it is important that you are aware.
With knowledge, you become powerful. As a woman, you naturally hold a lot of power when it comes to relationships, men and sex.
Add to that real knowledge of the masculine perspective, and you’ve got more power than is fair, really.
Many male animals pursue a quantity strategy in mating: inseminate as many females as they can, and leave. Human males don’t always do that (especially when they fall in love), but many also do do this.
They have this tendency written deeply into their limbic system. I don’t find this a bad thing; it’s just a fact.
Since I understand that all men have this written in their limbic system; I appreciate that it’s there for a reason.
The good thing is, a lot of men also don’t do things this way; there are lots of men out there who are deeply into commitment, romance and partnership.
Just because it’s in the limbic system, doesn’t mean all men actually operate this way day to day.
But the men who spend most of their resources and energy on their image?
You can see it in the men I just described. For them, it doesn’t really matter if they end up in jail ONE day. Because they’ll get away with doing what they do for as long as they can.
Even if they are jailed, at least having the ‘image’ of high value, high status opened up sexual opportunities for them. Opportunities which they took, of course.
Low Value Sign 4: He Always Chooses Friends Who Are Bottom Of The Crop.
Sometimes, out of fear, he will chronically choose less than average friends.
That is to say that he hangs with friends who are at the same level or below him. Sometimes it is because he feels mediocre, and because of that, his ego feels afraid at the thought of associating with people who are ‘ahead’ of him.
Look for whether he’s open to opportunities to befriend high value, high status men. The key is his level of openness to befriend other (more successful) men than him.
Just because he has deadbeat friends doesn’t 100% mean he is being low value. He could be in transition, from certain friends to new friends, or he could be trying to influence his friends to become better.
He Can’t Stand Feeling “Inferior” To Other Men.
There are men out there who purposefully never make friends with men who are better than him; as he doesn’t feel good enough, and wants to hide from the reality and the challenge of making something of his life.
The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with doing nothing with your life. As long as you own that choice. If a man’s direction in life right now is to do nothing, then that’s at least showing substance.
He’s willing to sit with ‘nothing’ for now. I think the problem is when you do nothing with your life, yet think that’s wrong or bad; and pretend you are doing lots.
A man who feels infinite inside yet does so called ‘nothing’ is still ok. Because a man who feels infinite will naturally add value to the world.
A person who deliberately chooses to stay small for their own entertainment (eg: stay small and comfortable, but make everyone else out to be the bad guy), is a worry.
Now if you’ve got a really great man, it’s inevitable that at some stage, some of his friends might not be as accomplished or as genuine as he is and that’s normal.
But I’m talking about a man’s active desire to befriend people who are at a level below him.
I’m talking about him actively avoiding getting close to, or having conversation with any man who he might perceive as “better” than him.
Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.
Low Value Sign 5: He Is Quick To Criticize Other Men AND Women.
When we feel like we’re not enough; and we’re happy to settle for that exact feeling in our lives; never striving for more, we want to put others down.
We put others down because we need to to maintain our place of comfort. To maintain our familiarity with the feeling that “I am not enough”.
If instead we brought others up, we’d have to acknowledge that the place we’re at is not ideal…and sometimes, that’s too painful.
So criticism and putting others down is the tool of a man who feels scared, who doesn’t want change, who likes to stay small
These men are usually men who always see the world from a place of scarcity.
In other words other people’s success, rather than being a good example of what he could achieve, is at odds with his own.
I believe a truly successful man (or woman) is willing to learn from others; and knows that if someone else does well, it is an indication of what is possible for him, too.
Low Value Sign 6: He Is Stingy, Not Just To You, But To Other People As Well.
You don’t want a man who is so out of touch that he pours out all his money and lavishes you with gifts without really knowing you. Often, this is a manipulative strategy aimed at attempting to buy your love.
It’s actually a strategy that most women routinely fall for. (Don’t fall for it!)
You also don’t want a man who is so un-attuned to you that he seems to withhold everything of value: connection, attention, and money for example.
Ideally, you would have the gift of feeling a man gradually becoming more generous with you.
And he’d gradually open up to feeling safe enough to share his resources. But, sometimes we unknowingly get involved with a man who is stingy in general.
This Isn’t Just About Money!
This really isn’t about money. I know it seems like it is about money. But think about it. If a man is not generous to any degree, what is this a reflection of?
It’s a reflection of how he feels about the world. It’s a reflection of how he feels about the resources available in the world, and it’s a sign that he doesn’t feel confident taking charge and being resourceful.
Of course, we can forgive a younger man for this trait, because sometimes it takes time to learn not to be stingy. Unfortunately, some men do hold on to their stinginess. It sticks with them.
A man who doesn’t feel very capable will be more stingy. A man who isn’t generous keeps himself small.
If he is stingy, he may not be a very resourceful man, as well. There are exceptions, of course, and it is contextual. So if a man was once stingy, it doesn’t mean he will always be stingy.
Of course, there are degrees/levels of generosity. He doesn’t have to pour out his money, attention, time or intellectual thoughts like water out of a tap.
It’s about his openness to sharing a piece of himself or what he has. It’s up to you to gage what level of generosity you’re comfortable with.
A woman who is okay with a man being stingy is letting him stay small, and it will also influence you over time! (If you spend enough time with him, you will also stay small and think small.)
You want a man so resourceful that he inspires you to become infinite also. This is the thing I’m most grateful for in my man. I was way stingier than him. He taught me otherwise. I’m blessed and humbled by him every day (insert 1,000 love heart emojis here).
(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)
Low Value Sign 7: More Than Once, You Feel Physically Ill At The Thought Of Sleeping With Him.
Your body doesn’t lie.
And I don’t mean, because he has food in his teeth, or bad breath. No need to stay with a man because your logical thoughts think you should be more ‘open’ to the idea of giving more men a chance. No need to be too nice.
Remember, every time you let a man in, that’s a ‘vote’ for what traits will be continued in evolution. Your body knows.
If all else about him is A grade, but you can’t sleep with him without feeling sick, then all you’re really doing is trading sex for his resources.
Nothing wrong with that, many women have made it work like that in the past, and then dumped the man.
Just remember though, that mate value for a man includes three umbrella factors: Genetic value, provider value and spiritual value.
Now, genetic value includes health, and provider value includes things like social value, generosity.
Either way, a man can have great spiritual value and provider value, and be of below average looks and a woman wouldn’t mind.
But if he is a 10/10 in provider value and spiritual value, but your body is closed off to him because your eggs are screaming ‘no!’ to his sperm, then you’re just being dishonest to everybody.
Also, here are 5 Telltale signs he has Crippling Low Self Esteem
Would you share with me below what you think makes a man show up low value? Do you have any stories of warning for other women? Do share!
As always, love and blessings to you all!
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.