Article updated 2018
How to Attract Men
I’m about to show you what really attracts men to you – and not just what attracts them – but makes them really WANT to talk to you, approach you and ask for your number, take you out, and be around you.
I don’t intend to show you how to attract just any low quality male (although any attractive woman will have all kinds of males wanting a piece of her), I am going to show you what will draw men to you so that you will be more confident around men and be able to have more men to choose from, which will bring you closer to your Mr. Right. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
To be brutally honest, most women have no idea what attracts men. They think that if a guy looks at her, whistles at her, buys her a drink, or says she’s “hot”, that she must be a highly sought after female and that she is attractive to men.
Yes, she may be – on the surface. However, what really attracts the kind of man who is genuine or who has a deep and lasting attraction for you is a whole other story.
(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)
Most women don’t understand what attracts men
The tragedy is, if you don’t learn what truly attracts a man, you’ll probably have to settle for a lower quality guy, and end up a divorce statistic, even if you are able to get him to marriage.
If you don’t learn what I’m about to introduce to you, you’ll become another one of the hoards of women who don’t understand what attracts men on a deeper level that fulfills him (and you), and you’ll become one of those women who keeps having failed relationships, ‘boring’ relationships, and who never finds happiness with a man.
Because it’s one thing to attract a man who thinks you’re “hot”, “a perfect 10”, or thinks you are just FAGT (‘For a Good Time’), but it’s another to attract several higher quality men to choose from, and then to truly fulfill one high quality man (who is worth it) forever, who will have attraction for you for the rest of his life. (See my article on why men aren’t attracted to you… perhaps you intimidate them?)
There is no shortage of good looking women
There’s no doubt about it; there are plenty of good looking women out there, especially good looking women who are willing to ‘put themselves out there’, to get some cheap attention. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with surface, cheap attention, but we gotta remind ourselves that that’s all it is. It’s short-lived, and the men giving the attention are just responding to our sexual energy.
However, there IS a shortage of deeply attractive women. By attractive I mean the kind of woman many men want because she’s so delicately beautiful, loyal, genuine, authentic, sexy, compassionate and exciting.
If you want to be just good looking, and surface level attractive, sure, there are plenty of men out there who will be willing to stuff around and be there just for a good time.
However, being truly attractive to men is something that is counter-intuitive for most women.
What really attracts men
So, what attracts a man to a woman?
On a surface level, it may be her looks. The signals of fertility, of femininity and of reproductive value.
However, what truly attracts men is an energy. It’s your unique feminine energy of radiance and authenticity. Your vibe.
Think about it from your own perspective for a minute: have you ever seen (on the street, on television or in a movie), that kind of man who stands tall, is confident, genuine, masculine, charming, strong and centred, totally present with you when you’re talking to him; the kind of man who is not willing to take anyone’s crap?
The kind of man you felt instantly drawn to, and whom you couldn’t HELP but feel attraction for? The kind of man you’d give anything to be around?
He’s rare, I know. But can you even imagine him, if you can’t think of one you’ve met before?
What makes him attractive?
I mean, people talk about how men need to be tall, dark and handsome. And many women say they prefer a man with more money, but this is all LOGICAL.
Attraction is not logical, and attraction is something you just can’t help but feel.
The same applies to men.
So – how do you get that energy, that delicious energy and attractiveness that will draw men to you like bees to honey?
(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)
First you must get in touch with your feminine energy. No, this doesn’t mean act girly, ditzy, and wear pinks and florals all day long (although all these things have their time and place).
It means to remove the layers of conditioning that you have that makes you close up, shun what society and/or feminism or even friends may have taught you about men and dating and relationships, and become the authentic YOU so that your radiance can show up.
Here is how you cultivate your radiance, and therefore, your attractiveness to men:
1. Give your presence and accept each moment as is.
Men respond to you when they can feel your authenticity. Some men don’t care about it – in which case, it’s a good thing, because your authenticity will repel the men you don’t want in your life. They probably wouldn’t make a great companion and lover to you anyway.
When you’re single, what’s most truly attractive about you is not just your pretty face or your healthy body – it’s the feeling that you’re the type of woman who doesn’t wear masks. You are here, present and you accept each moment and each emotion, no matter what your old rules or judgements say.
Your unique energy of presence is only really there when you remove your masks to avoid life, and instead let life live you. Presence is just that. you’re here with life and you’re letting life live you. You respond to life, and accept life rather than always trying to be ‘worthy’. You’re here, and you were born, so you’ve already done everything you need to do to be worthy.
So, through your presence, you will begin to see your unique radiance show up, in a way that no other woman can ever reproduce, because it’s your unique presence.
2. Openness. Something most women do not realize is that men crave, absolutely crave to be with a woman who is open to them. This world is full of women who are closed off (for good and bad reasons), and what this signals to men is that you’re not interested in them, and that you’re just in to yourself. (not like, up your own ass, but that you’re retreated inside yourself rather than being engaged).
Now, as a woman, I can totally understand the need to close off to men, because if you’re too open, creeps may try to creep their way in to your world, and that can….well, creep you out.
What openness is not
However, most people think being open means being revealing. Y’know, revealing “details”. This is a WOMAN’S way of being open to other women. We connect, share and reveal stories, details and ‘things’ in our lives and in other people’s lives to share and create bonding and TRUST with other women.
This is not the way to be open to a man. Sure, when you start a relationship with a man, you might want to reveal details when the context calls for it, but when you’re wanting to attract him, and have more men to choose from and feel more confident around men, you need to understand exactly what openness means for a man.
Here is how to be open: acceptance.
I’ll say it again:
Most women simply don’t understand how important acceptance is to a man. Accept men.
You can start by accepting ALL men. Even if you don’t have any interest in them, at least accept their existence quietly to yourself. This will help you to remove some barriers that you might have built up against men. No matter how much you’ve resisted or judged men in the past, find one thing you can appreciate in a man, even if you do it quietly without him knowing. I don’t care if it’s a lolly pop man or a man at Subway making you a lunch roll, your taxi driver or a lawyer doing your will for you – it doesn’t matter, accept all men from all walks of life.
You wouldn’t believe how often men feel that their hard work (which is something they pride themselves on) goes unappreciated and unnoticed.
Once you give men an energy of acceptance (which really means openness), you will be very surprised how much male attention, energy and attraction comes your way.
DISCLAIMER: now, please remember that as valuable as your acceptance is, what we are trying to do here is cultivate your emotional resources so that you are more able to give value to your man in the future, by being able to accept and appreciate him for who he is. BUT – do not go around, talking to every man. In general, (yes I’m generalising here) men over-infer sexual interest when women talk to them with a sense of receptivity, EVEN IF the women are only being friendly.
So, use your gut instinct and don’t try to just go around giving every man your acceptance because you subconsciously think it will get you the attachment or relationship you want – because it won’t.
Accepting men will only attract more men to you – and so you need to also be able to discern which men to show your acceptance to, and you need to be able to walk away and turn cold if you need to. Remember this acceptance thing is not an all-round rule to always live by, it’s just some guidance to help you cultivate acceptance inside yourself for men, so that you can draw on this for the right man, because at the end of the day, acceptance is a very important type of value that you can add to a man’s life.
(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)
Yes, men need to feel accepted by women, but they also need you to walk away or say ‘no’ if you are not interested in them.
So here is what I want you to do to show up more attractive:
1) I want you to get dressed in to something you feel good in. Find an outfit that you love to wear. This is not about looking crash hot, it’s about feeling great in it.
And I want you to take a walk down a busy street, preferably a strip of shops by yourself. Yes, by yourself, and I want you to start interacting with men.
But as you walk, I want you to be in a peak state of happiness and high energy. I don’t mean for you to be jumping up and down on the spot like a crazy person (although that has its time and place), I mean for you to be in a great state (mood)…
The best way I can recommend you do this is with music. Use music that you know makes you feel instantly happy, excited or sensual, or happy. Grab your smart phone and take it with you.
Or, you can just draw on memories from your past of moments of happiness. Think of a time when you were feeling loved and cherished. Know that if you’ve had it once, you can have it again. Know that there is love in the world, and for as long as you can give love, you will receive it.
If you can, find and download music on to your device that makes you feel at peace. Calm and happy. If not calm, then sensual is great too. It will get you out of your head and into your body.
And the reason I want you to find music or do something that puts you in this state is because you can then go out and get a different kind of ‘feedback’ to the energy you’re used to giving out on a day-to-day basis.
What kind of feedback do you think the average, not so attractive woman gets?
Not much. Maybe a few looks, if she is physically gorgeous. But most men are probably repelled by dull energy, or a defensive, hard woman.
By giving out this new vibe, you get to see just how well true radiance works to attract men to you (a new kind of feedback), and in the future, you’ll also remember that your radiance is what will draw men to you, not your closed up, “woman on a mission” type energy.
The “woman on a mission” is great, by the way. Let’s name her “Mimi on a Mission.” Don’t just discard Mimi on a mission. She’s wonderful and she’s productive and she’s a high achiever. But you can just let her know that if she wants you to attract a high value, masculine man, then what she needs to understand is that high value men usually have enough ‘achievement’ and ‘mission’ going on in their own lives – and so, they aren’t looking for it in a woman; as it’s not value to them.
Woman on a mission can be value in a long-term relationship, but for attracting high status, masculine men, she can let Attractive Alice have the stage for now.
2) And I want you to practice living in your unique feminine energy. Walk down the street, or go shopping at the grocery store, and make eye contact with one or two men (not every man! Some might be taken and you giving that kind of energy might trigger some mate guarding in his woman, lol.) So feel the situation as you go. As you make eye contact, I want you to respond to the situation with your full presence.
So, you may smile warmly and genuinely, or stop, make brief but fully present eye contact, and smile and say “Thank You” if the situation calls for it (for example, if you’re buying something at the butcher’s and a man serves you and hands it to you over the counter). And I want you to actually feel, and notice the energy exchange between you and every man you exchange energy with. There might not be an energy exchange – in fact, it might just be a man who truly just wants to connect or just wants to do a good job for his customer, and isn’t interested in sex or anything.
If you’ve resisted this energy exchange with men in the past, you will feel it in your body. Let yourself feel good, and allow his masculine energy to be there. Don’t be afraid of being present with men, even if it makes you want to cry.
If it all gets too much, you can always just go home!
In turn you will likely start to realize exactly how attractive you REALLY are. And all just because of your presence and radiance.
More importantly, practice receiving their energy. The reason I am getting you to do this during the day and on your own rather than out at a bar, is because you won’t be in a situation where there are a bunch of people around who just want to pick up.
Also without the oftentimes ‘dead’ energy and desperate energy that you feel at night clubs and bars, you get to be free to be more comfortable, and to just feel what it’s like to be you.
So as you receive and exchange energy from men, let yourself be open to them by showing, whether through words or actions, or a facial expression – your appreciation for them.
Remember it’s not “just a smile” that will do the job. Attracting men is about an energy; your unique feminine energy, radiance and authenticity.
(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)
One last thing…
As we know, men are stimulated by certain triggers.
Certain triggers that cause them to feel more attraction, feel more desire and therefore be more likely to fall in love.
Well, I’ve been busy putting together a new program that walks you through the 17 most potent attraction triggers for men. These are scientifically proven, hardwired triggers that every single man has within his DNA.
So by understanding these hardwired triggers and putting them to use yourself, you will become a lot more attractive and desirable to every single man you meet. They will find you irresistible, and be subconsciously drawn to you.
So anyway, go ahead, do what I have suggested today. It’s very important that you start taking action…
Also, come back and let me know how you went and any pointers you may have for other women from your own experiences.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share in the comments section below. 🙂
P.S – here is what Aimee Gargus, from New York, had to say in an email to me about this article:
I absolutely LOVED this post!!!!! I read it, went out on my lunch hour to get some green tea, and pay my cell phone bill. While paying my bill I had a gentleman compliment me on how nice I looked, and even asked if I was married and would like to be…;) It was fun, flirty, and a great ego boost. The bonus was he was around 30 and I am 42!”
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
P.S. Connect with me on social media!
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.