The more jaded and less innocent you are, in general, the more likely it is that you may laugh at the idea that a broke man could be high value.
The less jaded you are, in general, the more likely you are to agree that it’s possible for a man to be broke, jobless and still be high value.
I know it’s kind funny to hear it, but it’s true: just because you’re dating a poor man or dating a man with no money, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have value. It depends on the context and on who he is.
Knowing that so many women have been stuck in bad relationships footing the bill for toxic and unambitious men, I don’t take this subject lightly.
I know there are broke men out there with zero gumption or integrity, who don’t mind living off a woman financially, long term.
But these character traits are independent of monetary wealth/money.
Sometimes when I say this, some women say I’m naive.
I sometimes ask them if perhaps they’re jaded or resentful.
If you are capable of objective thought – which we all are, then this is not so hard to see.
If you CAN remove yourself from all the pent up emotion you have from the past with toxic men (because boy I know it’s hard after everything you’ve been through), then maybe, just maybe, you’ll see the little flicker of light in the darkness…
A broke and jobless man can most definitely still be high value.
A man who is broke isn’t automatically low value.
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Here’s Where A Man’s Real Value Lies…
Where do you think the value of a man really is?
Let me ask you a couple of quick questions:
Is money more important than ambition?
Is money more important than resourcefulness?
Could having lots of money really turn a man who has no integrity into a man of integrity and high value?
I say, absolutely not.
Could a “rich” man have scammed a bunch of people, made millions in cash in a few years, only to end up in jail for 15 years for his heinous crimes?
Yes.
Money Just Reveals A Man’s True Character
Someone smart once taught me that money is a magnifier; it doesn’t change the essence of who you are as a person.
If you’re a bad person, money will magnify it. If you’re a good person, money will magnify that too.
You know what I mean, right? The rich man who flaunts his cash to lure you in, and then expects a blowjob just because he paid for a lavish meal?
Do yourself & your future family a favour…
Know that money buys a bit of comfort, choices & freedom. But it can’t raise kids.
And it can’t buy resourcefulness, ambition, commitment or a quality pair bond.
David & I have taken our children around the world with us in first class, we have every bit of freedom & “comfort” that we worked hard together for.
But had I looked past him based on his poor lifestyle, crappy car & crappy clothes that every other woman judged him for 15 yrs ago, we wouldn’t have made it here together.
Life always throws you conflict, loss, pain, & challenges no matter your wealth.
Money is no insurance against poor character, a lack of resourcefulness and a lack of integrity.
Do the quiz: What is my attachment style?
Date Primarily For Love, Not Resources
If you date for money, not love – you foot the cost as a woman.
So many of us including myself previously have no clue that the value in life is not just in the comfort you can get for yourself.
The real value is in what substance and lasting VALUE you pass onto the next generation.
There’s no use being rich, if your children turn out to be insecurely attached, weak, entitled and have zero depth of love and secure attachment to pass on to their own children.
Why does being securely attached even matter? Because secure attachment means we have:
- A more stable and resilient nervous system, ensuring that we can weather stressful and traumatic events for the rest of our live
- A higher chance of achieving what we want (because securely attached people do not have low self esteem or low self worth)
- And quality bonds throughout our entire lives (which really matter most when your children go on to have their won children). Insecurely attached children tend to feel more social anxiety, have more mental illness and risk experiencing more social isolation.
See: plenty of kids from rich families commit suicide.
These rich kids in particular, were raised in rich families, and both attended higher education. They also brutally murdered a young boy in the 1920s.
Is that successful parenting to you?
There’s no use being rich and spending 99% of your time chasing wealth as a parent. Only then to find out that your children inherited your cash, but no skills in adding value to the world.
And you can give them what they want, only to see that they turn out to have no understanding of currency, economics and how to accumulate true wealth by themselves.
You can throw money at your children, but they still do not understand the value of anything. As Oscar Wilde once said…
Most people know the price of everything but the value of nothing. – Oscar Wilde.
A lot of women are blinded by the pursuit of status and wealth. And fair enough, some of us who grew up feeling like we had nothing, will sometimes head down that path.
But chasing glamour is a trap you should ideally not fall into. And unfortunately, I see women fall into that competition (of glamour, lifestyle and riches) all the time.
They justify it by saying that women are gold diggers by nature. Yes we are…but we are also not. There are other levels of truths to explore too.
And we should learn to be smart about what we’re really looking for.
The competition you want to win is not the competition of who can date and marry the richest man.
The real competition you want to win, if you care about the next generation, is the competition of building and cultivating the strongest pair bond with a good hearted man.
This bond will take you places, and give you resourcefulness that money can never give.
Men With Substance VS Men With Riches
See, I’ve been working with women long enough to know that if all else were equal, then given the choice between a self-made man and a man who inherited riches, they’d almost always choose the self-made man.
So, all women intuitively know there’s far more value in a man with a strong masculine direction, ambition and substance, yet we often lose sight of that.
It’s easy to do that, and I sympathise with that myself. Who doesn’t like money? But focusing on money due to fear takes us places that aren’t always good.
When we are fearful, we are quick to judge and push away a man based only on his job status and his current earnings.
It’s much like judging the monetary value (or earnings) of a business based on arbitrary measuring sticks like popularity.
Ie: the popularity of their instagram, twitter, facebook or youtube account. The success of a business CAN definitely go hand-in-hand with popularity, but it also often doesn’t!
As you would already know, there’s more than meets the eye.
Never forget that some of the truly smart and rich men will choose to dress down, to be inconspicuous and avoid being targeted by value-sucking women who throw themselves at them.
So, of course it’s your life, and you know your situation, and your needs better than anyone else does.
Perhaps you’re over 50 and you’ve been through it all, and you’re done with jobless men. I understand. Yet still – don’t confuse joblessness with a lack of resourcefulness or masculinity.
Don’t Confuse Joblessness With A Lack Of Masculinity
If possible in your dating life, enjoy yourself, learn all your lessons, make all the mistakes you need to make. But never stop learning from them, never put blinders on and only think on the surface.
You won’t believe the amount of women in their 30s and 40s I’ve heard from who wanted to get married and have a family – and so had to choose between two men quickly.
Usually it’s a similar scenario for them all.
Here’s what I mean: one of the men in their life had money but their connection was not there between them, while the other man didn’t have the money or lifestyle, but the connection was there.
These women often regret choosing the one with money. This is because, even though they thought it was best for their children and lifestyle at the time, they’re now living unhappy lives.
Or perhaps they’re even divorced and parenting their children in a very different way than they assumed they would be.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions.
We can’t have it all at once and the world we live in is far from ideal. So who am I to judge a woman who was forced to make a difficult choice?
A Feminine Soul Need More Than Money To Thrive
Do take care of your feminine soul – it needs more than money.
It needs to be opened to love by a trustworthy man, it needs to surrender to bonding, to love and connection. Without these things, you’ll feel an enormous lack down the line.
And so don’t close your heart to a man based on his car, clothes and job status before you get to test him and get to know him for real.
Don’t be surface like your scaredy cat judgemental, jaded female acquaintances are.
Look deeper, feel deeper into who a man really is, even through your own fears.
Try your best to be more patient, think long-term. Or better still, if you can – play the long game, rather than the game of instant gratification like so many other people in the world do.
P.S. Connect with me on social media
Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
P.P.S. Here are 7 Common Signs A Woman is Low Value in the Eyes of Men.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. She graduated with a bachelor of Law and bachelor of Arts majoring in sociology and psychology. She has been a dating and relationship coach for women in the past 15 years and together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 20 million women through their articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.
