What is Your Unique Feminine Energy?

You have a powerful feminine energy deep inside of you.

It is incredibly powerful, beyond what you can imagine right now. Unfortunately most of us do not embrace our unique feminine energy.

See, we all as women,  has many different personalities and energies within us. That’s completely normal.

It doesn’t make us weird or have split personalities, it just means that we are more than how we’ve learned to define ourselves.

(This is one reason why men who are not already in love with one woman (their mind and body is committed to one woman) have a tendency (key word – tendency) to want to experience sex with all different women – it is to experience the different energies of different women.)

So, the more we reject different parts of ourselves that are dying to be expressed inside, the less whole we really are, and the less valuable we are in relationship to men, generally speaking.

But what if you’re a woman who is afraid to embrace her feminine energy?

Well, that’s almost all of us.

Sometimes I think although women are keen to get rights and become equal with men; in the process, we’ve started to compete with men and we’ve sometimes become too obsessively identified with the directed go-getter in ourselves – the masculine energy.

This is a wonderful thing – but it’s not wonderful when we obsessively identify with is JUST because we feel desperate to be seen; acknowledged.

I mean, imagine if the men of the world who naturally identify more with the masculine energy began to compete with women in their radiance and beauty. Some men do, and in my view, it is not the most pleasant experience to be around them.

(Click here to take the quiz “How Feminine Am I Actually?”)

The Divine Feminine Energy Needs to be Seen – for its Radiance

Because to be seen for something we’re not is a painful cycle. The truth is – feminine women desire to be seen. Because in our core, we are light. We are energy. We are flowing, changing energy of love. And that deserves to be seen and loved.

That is simply a characteristic of the feminine energy.

Although, it has been made wrong or ‘weak’ to many of us. In other words, it’s not ok to simply wear a dress or smile and receive love. Instead, we have to over-exert ourselves to become something that we are not so we can fit in.

So because simply being light is made wrong or undeserving of love, we think the masculine energy is the way to be identified and seen. Yay! (not really).

We try to achieve status and ‘win’ things. We think that to be worthy, we have to become the top of the rung, or to dominate people. This significance seeking is the driver of masculine energy. Feminine energy is more driven by connection.

Feminine Energy vs Masculine Energy

If we’re truly feminine inside, what we really want to be SEEN and appreciated for is our love energy – in our soul and in our body, and if we try to be ‘seen’ for our achievements and the way we dominate a field, rather than being seen spontaneously as a woman who is alive and expressive and loving, those of us who are more feminine inside might begin to feel angry, resentful, and like something blissful is missing.

I for one, appreciate the masculine men of the world who don’t sway from who they truly are. The directed men who are that way because they just ARE. They were born that way.

The ones who are strong willed but don’t force themselves on us. Those are the men who enjoy being who they really were born to be. They don’t feel it’s wrong to be who they are.

I feel these men as a gift – mainly because it IS a gift. They were born that way. And they haven’t tried to twist themselves out of shape, they haven’t covered their true desire for challenge and for freedom with layers of ‘must please people by being super sensitive and radiant and unthreatening’.

Essentially, if we are being something we are NOT – we risk taking value from others, because we are wearing a mask out of fear. Fear is sensed by people. And we only develop our masks to get approval and to fit in.

The men and women of the world who are cool with being who they truly are, usually don’t take as much value.


Because they aren’t entering in to relationships with an exchange in mind. ie; I do this for you in the hope that you’ll give me approval in return.

I will be something I am not – because I’m afraid of losing love if I don’t do this.

How to show up as a high value feminine woman?

So this is the first step to being your high value; it is to now begin the process of making every single part of you ok. It’s the process of making every feeling you have ok.

So essentially, 2 aspects:

1) Make every single part of yourself ok. The sexual parts, the angry parts, the overwhelmed, ‘can’t do it anymore’ parts, the masculine parts, the feminine parts, and the depressing parts. All of you. The people you see around you that you judge and hate? That is or has been a part of you at some stage.

2) Honour and respect every feeling you have.

When you make different feelings ok – you don’t go out and start resenting men for triggering you to feel that way (which takes value), you let the feeling happen because you know that this is life, and feelings happen. They’re meant to happen in relationships and it’s not his fault.

Men aren’t the perpetrators. Our hatred and resistance of our own dark emotions is the perpetrator. We can’t resist the emotions that make us feel the least capable, because if we do, all that is at the other side is a snarling, defensive woman for others to deal with. When we resist our vulnerability, all that is left is actually a combative, self-defensive response – because our bodies are in the midst of perceiving a threat to our safety.

The real safety, unless we are in a real life dangerous situation is to feel how scared we are behind our tension and our need to blame men. Why? Because once the feeling is felt, and our bodies see that we are actually not about to die from letting the feeling happen – our bodies are free to go to the next feeling. What feelings you let happen will pass.

How to Use Your Feminine Energy so that You Can Connect Deeper With A Man?

First of all, let’s look at how you can connect deeper with the feminine energy inside of you, because when you can access more of that femininity, then there’s more of you to be able to connect deeper with masculine men.

So step number 1 in bringing out your divine feminine energy.

1) Surround yourself with lots of women and let their energy inspire that same energy inside of you. Even if you haven’t made it ok to be like that in decades. Meet with and chat with lots of women. Open, free women are your best answer.

You are still able to have your closer, more special friends, but you must socialize with women of all different energies and backgrounds. And open your body when you’re with them. Stay out of your head if that’s your habit – and stay in your body. Let who THEY are inspire and bring to life the parts of you that are dormant.

This way, you can relate to them – because you’re mirroring their energy, AND you get the gift of lighting the fire in the personalities in yourself that you’ve killed out of self judgement.

For me, the hardest part to be was the extroverted part of me. When I was young, I was very expressive and extroverted. My mother was like this. She had a gift of being able to talk to anyone without judging herself. I was like that, too as a little girl.

Until I hit my teens and I was all like ‘Nup. Gotta stay closed now. People aint safe. Gotta be on guard now.’

What do you do when you meet women who don’t seem to make good friends?

Well, there’s still value in them. But they quickly lose their value if they exclude you and make you wrong for being the way you are even after repeated attempts on your part to connect with them.

It’s ok to exclude people from your circle. The idea is not to make friends of everybody. It is to seek diversity and embrace diversity beyond your comfort zone. So, perhaps make friends with women you normally would judge.

This is the first key to bringing your unique feminine energy and high value to life.

The second part of bringing out your unique feminine energy

2) As you interact, notice when your belly knots up with closed judgement and fear. It’s ok to have it. But it might be nice if you asked yourself; ‘is it needed right now, with this woman?’

She might be able to gift you with her energy and you might be able to gift each other.

Hanging around men all the time doesn’t help fuel our feminine soul.

Being with other feminine souls will, though!

And the best thing about it is that once we do this, we naturally become more attractive. Attractive is love energy and aliveness. This DOESN’T mean being happy all the time! Depression and sadness is still aliveness. That is if you let depression and sadness be felt until it is gone – rather than using it in the long term to snatch attention from people habitually.

I used to do this. And yes, it took a lot of value from others.

Feminine Women need to be with Other Feminine Women

In the days where we lived in tribes of 50-100 or more, often, the women had the freedom to be with each other and socialize. And the men would be with other men.

By doing his, men would become more masculine and women became more feminine. Feminine energy begets feminine energy and masculine energy begets masculine energy. Nowadays, we go and work and drudge through a work day our soul hates – and it makes our authentic energy dormant.

It’s like we don’t have time to do the things that light us up anymore.

And then we come home to a man – and hope that since he’s our ‘best friend’, we should feel alive. Not really. Part of being high value is getting the feminine energy from our girlfriends and being open to new friends so that we are free to not rely on a man for EVERYTHING.

He can’t be everything. He can’t take every role. Plus, you don’t really want him to become a girlfriend, right?

We will have more passionate relationships when we don’t expect our man to take the role of our girlfriend, mother, dad, sister, and lover…the relationship then has the chance to be more passionate when WE naturally bring our energy and aliveness to the table because we’ve already filled ourselves up with the fuel we need.

By the way, I’ve put together a short quiz to see how much you are living in your feminine energy… Click here to take the quiz “How Feminine Am I Actually?”

By the way, tell me about some women friends you have and admire! What qualities do they have that you admire? What you admire in another is what you are often afraid to be yourself. So by writing it here, you can remind yourself that you already ARE the woman you admire.

Lots of Love as always…


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78 Comments on "How to Bring Out your High Value & Unique Feminine Energy"

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Anna Tomlinson
Whilst I completely agree with what you’re saying and I love the concept of promoting femininity… I hope you’re not implying that women shouldn’t also strive to be leaders (if they are the leadership type) or be the best they can be in their careers (if they choose to/have to work outside the home). I think we should do this WHILST retaining our femininity. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation. For example, I would never hold myself back at work just not to outshine a man. It’s not about being better than men and nobody is suggesting that.… Read more »
Super Janice

In my opinion, instead of being with women, they need arts!
I personally don’t need to a man and girlfriends because I enjoy singing.

Super Janice
This significance seeking is the driver of masculine energy. Feminine energy is more driven by connection. If we’re truly feminine inside, what we really want to be SEEN and appreciated for is our love energy – in our soul and in our body, and if we try to be ‘seen’ for our achievements and the way we dominate a field, rather than being seen spontaneously as a woman who is alive and expressive and loving, those of us who are more feminine inside might begin to feel angry, resentful, and like something blissful is missing. I don’t know what I… Read more »
Super Janice

My classmates: Adelle, Sofia, Ruth and Sarah are feminine.
I thought Sarah and Ruth are tomboys just because:
1) Ruth likes sports
2) Sarah and Ruth like wearing pants

However, I found out Adelle, Sarah and Ruth are close friends!
Now I realize the reason is because they share their feminine energy.
Sofia is pretty feminine, but she only has one close friend because:
Like me, she was the new student in the school.

Hence, I am here hoping to know whether I have rejected my feminine or have a masculine core.

✂ julie gianni

I love the way the articles on this site are written, so positively and careful with feelings. Reading this really makes me feel slightly better about myself and about letting me feel my feelings and talking about my feelings (while my husband on weekdays just really feels way to tired after work to deal with my feelings haha, I love being myself and all my feelings with it!).

Renee Wade

Naww, I’m glad Julie! Thanks for your comment.

Ok Renee, just finished reading the full article now. I can’t really think of any real life women that I know and would say I admire. The only woman who I can think of and admire is you Renee 🙂 I admire how you’ve described some of your past pains (through reading some of your work) and now you know that you are enough and don’t care what others think. I admire how you can truly be yourself and free flow with your energy. I feel inspired to become more of myself through following your work. My favorite member of… Read more »
Renee Wade

Thank You for your kind words and your feedback about our team! it’s lovely of you to write to me here. Renee. xo

Hey Renee I just started reading some of this article and felt the need to write. Personally I don’t care about competing with men, I just care about feeling enough within. It really wouldn’t faze me in the slightest if a man earn t more pay or had a better career. In fact, I couldn’t give a crap about even having a dam career, I just wish to win the love and care of my loved ones and the people I know. I had in mind the thought of getting a career, a PhD, as if that would make me… Read more »

I admire some of my friends voices. They are soothing to the ear and I see men asking them questions seemingly just to hear their reply! I love that and my voice seems to be shaky and all over the place, maybe I’ll try strengthening my voice and practice with my friends!


Renee, how can I say Thank you a 100 times ? Far too many website out there are suggesting to grab our male energies and get rid of all those men who aren’t acting up to our expections. And so few of us are learning the wrong way how to deal with men.
Thank you so much for bringing the feminine back, teaching us how to fully be the amazing human beings we aleady are.

Dominique Ferguson

My friend Kym is a woman I admire. She’s stylish, kind, generous and so much fun to be around; there’s never a dull moment with her!

Renee thank you very much! I am in process of understanding myself, being better version of myself learning more about Me and others. The thing is, inb the process there are people (you still brought the subject women so lets call them Women) who stop supporting you. It is because you are changing and they cant handle that change? Because that makes it their problem, not yours/ mine. I belive once I am whole I will find (hope) better and healthy people to hang out with. Wit women is really delicate subject because they are so SO dramatic, and bond… Read more »
Thanks for this great article Renee. I am someone who loves to connect with other women, that went so well for a while and then I was terribly hurt by a close friend. I decided to stay off women entirely for some years and kept male friends instead. for me, it was far easier and refreshing and non of them would hurt me like my friend did. Even women that attempted friendship, I kept at arms length. Deep down I knew I was missing something. All the male friends were great and they understood me as a human being but… Read more »

Jessica exactly MY words MY comment !!! XD

Its funny, when you decide to make better you but not only. when have great things happening to you and you deserve them. Women in your life who are suppossed to be “friends” ct weird.. so I agree on having male friends better, get less judgement less drama and blah blah

Hey! It’s weird as the more articles I read, the more I’ve identified with certain aspects of myself, that I need to work on, I’ve noticed where I’ve been going wrong and where I’ve been going right! I’ve also noticed that I can be more my feminine self around men, but close off around other women because I’m afraid of being judged. I feel no judgement from men, so I can feel open and free to laugh and joke to feel relaxed and giving, but close down and remain quiet around other women as I feel they are judging me.… Read more »

I miss in a way having female friends, but the thing with Women you see they are SO wayy crazy envious when it comes to other women. its stupid but thats how it is

I feel I am accomplishing more becoming better self, better Me but I have less female friends. oh well XD until I hfind the right ones I guess… 🙂

Hi Renee, This is an interesting article. I admire women who like women and are not afraid to stand up to men who do not treat them well. too many women are so afraid of losing their man that they make excuses for offensive behaviour or tend to align with men over women. However, I think that there is room for some overlap between supposedly feminine and masculine characteristics. Jung had a point when he claimed that beneath our personas we need to be willing to mature to express the animus and anima to feel complete. I agree that today’s… Read more »
Hi Renee I have lots of fantastic female friends, and they make me feel alive and they inspire me so much. I have this new friend I have seen alot, and I was facinated by her and I feelt inspired and we both have become closer in a short time, but I also feel drained from energy when I have spend time with her wich I don’t feel with my other friends, so it’s very confusing that for me she is beautiful and she have some fantastic traits but at the same time she also have deep insecurities and she… Read more »

Something I find admirable in a few of my friends is their ability to flirt; to interact with people fearlessly. It’s so hard for me I feel myself get tense. I fear people making me feel bad about myself for being myself. I also admire my friend’s ability to move and dance. I always feel so stiff and ridgid. I have a tall lean body and I’m trying to become comfortable with moving it. In my past I was made fun of for my body and not having rhythm. I’m workimg on changing these things, but sometimes I get overwhelmed.


I can relate to it Aria. But regardless on these things we have to move past out of our inward shell and be as we are (of course without feeling awkward).

I’m on a role reading all of your posts today Renee, WOO! I have a hard time accepting other women into my life as wholehearted friendships. I only have two real girlfriends to talk to when im in need. It’s not because im fine with just two friends. It’s because I’m threatened by other women. Meeting women who might steal my boyfriends eye, he might think they’re more his type, personality, ethnicity, style etc. I have surrounded myself and focused so much on what guys like growing up that I never truly said to myself, I’m good enough. Instead id… Read more »

HI one more thing – if you don’t have family or a man to look after you and you have to go get for a bit – what do you suggest we do. I totally agree with you it;s draining and I would love to wear a dress, smile and receive love but then I am not looking after myself (and paying bills) and that fear of not being able to stop working makes it harder to get in that energy …

sorry as in case responsibility is too much for him I meant and yes I know men can be hurt by women but can they be hurt by me being vulnerable and expressing need and feelings of not being cared for – ie should I say nothing so he doesn’t feel bad? This fear in general can stop me being the dark, out of control, emotions from the heart without censoring (not blaming I just mean in the I form how I feel) I worry that everything will just collapse, that people can’t cope (my mother was manipulative and would… Read more »
Hi Renee Thanks for another great article, my flatmates and I have become huge fans and are reading and discussing your articles. Thank you. I have a question and if you have time would appreciate your feedback. In the process of realising my feminine essence and expressing vulnerability I realised that I had tried to be strong as my father did not protect me – he does not act like he wants the best for me. I feel I would like to be authentic and express how I need him and how I feel but I am worried not only… Read more »

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