How Masculine Jobs Can Affect a Woman’s Beauty and Feminine Energy

I know that you have a busy day, but just give me 60 seconds and let’s do this quick little exercise:

Think about a time where you felt incredibly beautiful and feminine.

Even if you don’t feel beautiful now, you are courageous enough to feel what it was like to feel feminine and beautiful in the past.

So, just focus on a time where you just felt beautiful and feminine. I don’t mean attractive. I mean, beautiful and feminine. Attractive is too objective a description for what I’m talking about here.

How did you breathe when you went to that time when you felt beautiful and feminine? How did you feel, in your body? How did your skin feel?

How masculine jobs and lives can affect a Woman’s Beauty and Feminine energy

In my bias, I feel that when we feel beautiful and feminine, we generally feel a softness in our body.

A feeling that our bodily energy is circulating freely, and in a lively way, all through our body, giving us beautiful movement, and swaying hips. This is soft – not angular and directed. It’s also flowing and alive.

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Feminine Am I Actually?”)

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Contrast With Feeling In Control And Powerful

Now, take a quick moment to do this 30 second exercise:

Contrast the feeling of being beautiful and feminine with the feeling of being in control and powerful.

What was the image you had of yourself, when you thought of being in control and powerful?

Was there any tension in your muscles? How did your body feel then? And how did your skin feel?

Was the energy in your body more pointed, constricted or linear?

(Do please share in the comments below, what images you instantly got in your mind when you thought of feeling powerful…)


  • What were you doing in the image in your mind?
  • Where were you going?
  • What are you wearing?
  • What is the look on your face?

For me, I’m walking down the street in a tight, mid length skirt, wearing heels, with tidy hair and nice heels. I’m walking down the street like I have a mission and like I’m in control of my own finances, career, and destiny.

Now, this is all very innocent.

This feeling of being powerful and in control is a gift that has been given to us as women.

Through women’s liberation, and through our female ancestors wanting equality in earnings, voting, career…and whatever else they wanted equality in.

Moreover, this feeling of being a strong and powerful woman is a great gift we’ve given ourselves, showing all women everywhere that we are strong enough to provide for ourselves if we choose do to so.

Nowadays, we have more choices than ever, and in America, women CEOs made 40% more than their male counterparts in 2010.

Only, I have a problem.

I have a problem with thousands of women in my surveys, telling me that they are missing someone special to spend their life with. Telling me also, that getting commitment from men is harder than ever.

You are also suggesting to me in your survey responses that you are successful in your career, but feel deeply alone inside.

So, essentially, every opportunity has a cost.

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CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

The Opportunity Cost Of Being In Control Of Our Career, Finances And Lives

With the opportunity of feeling strong and in control, our sisters and daughters get wonderful futures that they don’t have to rely on a man to give them.

That’s great. Only, the big costs with that are:

Opportunity Cost of Being A Strong Career Minded Woman

Opportunity Cost #1:

It’s very difficult, once we have practiced embodying a certain masculine energy, to then go and practice embodying different energies such as surrendering to our softer, flowing, feminine energy.

It’s difficult to them let ourselves be open to the strong direction of a masculine man; because we have learned to meet our needs by being in that habitual practice of masculine energy.

And we dis-own the softer, flowing energies.

Opportunity Cost #2:

If we are born more feminine than we are masculine in our DNA…our hearts and souls are actually suffering from not having that freedom to be in our feminine.

In our biochemistry (roughly 80%) of women are feminine in their core, and as much as we CAN influence our biology, we can’t really change our DNA, as we’re  born with it.

Opportunity Cost #3:

Doing masculine things, (you know, that feeling we went to in that exercise before – being in control and powerful?) can dull our bodily energies and create great stress for our feminine hormonal balance, and our beauty.

Feminine energy doesn’t thrive on challenge, and when we throw ourselves in to this highly challenging environment, we get good at doing things that involve focus and direction. BUT it doesn’t create the optimal environment to allow us to develop our feminine energy.

There is a study right here, that is of no surprise to me, it’s something we knew all along:

The higher the level of stress hormones in a woman, the less attractive her face was rated by men.

Now, at the end of the study, it says:

‘Our study shows that if a woman wishes to look attractive, she should try to keep her stress levels down’.

And in another study done in Australia, they found that the stress of being in a job that we don’t like is much worse than having no job at all.

Again, the STRESS of being in a job that we do not like is worse than the stress of having no job at all!

Doing Masculine Things Gets Us Good At Being Masculine

Doing masculine things gets us good at being masculine.

I know that is not very scientific to say that, but I believe we all can see that as human animals, we just get better and better at doing what we habitually do.

Can I give you some theory on this, too?

Masculine energy become greater, more masculine, through challenge.

So, it thrives on CHALLENGE. Often, though, challenge creates a stress in the body that men who are masculine can become extremely skilled (and sexy) at dealing with.

The better men get at dealing with this, the hotter they are to us.

However, women who are born more feminine at their sexual core….our feminine energy doesn’t get enlivened with challenge or stress.

(Instead it grows through praise. Take a look at this chart I made on the differences between masculine and feminine energy):

what is feminine

But…a lot of our jobs involve a lot of challenge and constant ‘go, go, go’ type of stress.

This makes us have to quash and control our feminine energy into a tight little linear ball.

Even the kind of jobs that cause us to have to push our emotions down can be problematic.

(Unless we go home and actively make the time to re-live those emotions and let them flow through our body so we don’t end up with a back-log of fight or flight responses.)

Read also: Should I Control My Emotions In Order To Be High Value?

So, whilst our jobs are super important and career-minded women are wonderful and inspirational…neglecting our feminine is quite costly for our intimate relationships.

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Doing Masculine Things Can Create Disease And Dull Our Beauty

When I spend time consulting with women in high powered (sometimes very public) careers who haven’t have as much time for their relationship as they do for their career, I begin to think about something I heard once somewhere.

Something along the lines of….when women spend a lot of their day working with men, it can start to cause stress in their bodies and this can potentially also cause disease in their body.

Often, these jobs become all that we know, because we meet so many of our needs this way. And this is the problem we have as women.

The problem is NOT that we work in masculine careers. It’s that we meet all our needs (eg; the need for significance and feeling worthy) through our masculine career…which, by default tends to put the needs of our core, our heart and our soul, on the back-burner.

From experience, back when I did my Law degree, not only was I more ‘tight’ in my body and more prone to illness, but I just wasn’t feeling as happy. Clearly I was meant for another career.

(Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

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Back To Feeling Powerful And In Control

You remember that feeling of being on control and powerful? Remember what it feels like in your body?

Well, it’s a directed feeling. It’s the feeling that you’re going somewhere, that the energy in your body is constricted and gathered in to a tiny ball of energy.

In contrast, when you’re in your natural feminine state, all the feminine energy within you would be flowing to your toes, your nipples, your lips, your eyes, your hair, and the energy would gather around your hips, bottom and thighs.

To do anything that requires masculine energy, most careers are masculine oriented.

Especially careers that have a lot of status attached to them, such as being a lawyer. And careers where you have to meet deadlines, manage and direct people, and career where you have to fix things.

This can be healthy, and it’s very good to be able to be feminine and to be masculine. There is a beautiful gift in being this free to be both.

(In fact, I wrote an article on Why Being Feminine ISN’T Always High Value.)

Only, sometimes, having a career and feeling powerful can feel totally obsolete and it can get old.

What About The Freedom To identify With Being A Total Goddess?

It IS very important to many women to have a high status job, or just a good career altogether, so that they can provide for themselves.

Only, we tend to attach a lot of our identity TO that job – and so, in that process, we dis-own our native feminine identity.

What about your freedom to be and feel like a feminine goddess?

Authentic women’s power is not only in her ability to be in control of her life, you know?

If you’re in or near my generation, you probably grew up with this image of powerful women being CEOs and politicians. This is great!

However, the kind of power that makes us feel truly powerful is the depth of power that we access when we don’t deny our core drivers and core needs.

The Alternative Isn’t A Submissive Woman, But an Attuned Goddess

The alternative isn’t necessarily a submissive woman, but an attuned goddess.

If you’re more feminine at your core, then real power is felt when you are able to surrender to your heart’s true desires. Rather than following the shell you might have created for yourself over the years to be enough for people.

Real power is felt when we surrender to a man who we trust sexually and spiritually.

Out of choice, we choose to be taken, made love to so that every part of your body is wild with pleasure and the deliciousness of surrender and trust.

This is a beautiful gift that a powerful woman can give to herself and to her man.

Read: Surrendering To Masculine Energy.

Unless we are truly masculine at our core, then the ‘power’ of being in control and the ‘power’ of having command over our finances and over life in general is just such an unfulfilling kind of power.

Especially when it’s not coupled with the power of a woman surrendering to her deeper drive to love a man deeply.

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy!)

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Being In Control Is Even Better When Coupled With The Power Of Feminine Surrender

Being in control is even better when it’s coupled with the power of feminine surrender.

The reason being in control and having financial, career and managerial power can be even better when coupled with the power of a surrendered feminine energy is because, at the deepest core of our feminine, we are actually meant to be in tune with our feelings, emotions, senses and intuition.

When we can cultivate our feminine energy too, we open the door to becoming a higher value woman for relationships (just like a man is more high value to us in a relationship when he also has a well developed feminine energy and sensitivity).

What do you think you will choose?

I know from my own life that I can’t try to chase my law career without this nagging gut feeling that my soul and my heart are meant for something a little more fulfilling.

Something like raising my children, or loving a man so deeply that he just can’t help but want to be with me.

What You Could Do To Re-Enliven Your Connection To Your Feminine Identity

What you could do to re-enliven your connection to your feminine identity.

If you relate to this article at all, thanks for reading!

If you want suggestions on what to do, I want to remind you that you are a unique soul, and although I can give generalised advice here, you are still unique.

But for a practice, you can try to renew your connection to your emotions and senses, EVERY day, for at least 15 minutes.

Do something that brings to life your sensitivity to your intuition or your heart knowingness. Something that enlivens your senses to pleasure or pain, or both.

You can do this with someone you trust, or by yourself.

This kind of practice could also mean sitting in a quiet room and re-living the criticism from your past relationships, or re living the pain you felt with your relationship with your ex, or with your father or mother.

When you do this, you can start feeling what that really felt like to be with that person, so you have the power to not be with that kind of person again in the future.

Just renew your bodily memory and skill at connection to sensitivity and your feminine energy.

Another daily practice could also be dancing for the sheer sake of bodily enjoyment, it could mean painting your naked body with colourful paints, or it could mean sinking in to a hot bath.

Meanwhile, click here to register and watch my masterclass on getting a man’s emotional Commitment for free.

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

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I am a woman and I am powerful. They are not mutually exclusive. I have my BBA, my Master’s in Civil Engineering, and I’m about to embark on a PhD in Applied Ocean Science. I’ve worked in majority male dominated fields my entire career. I’ve never felt more powerful AND feminine then when I’m kicking ass in my career. PS – “Masculine” jobs are only perceived as such due to the ratio of men to women and that can has nothing to do with masculinity vs. femininity. We show young women how to take on careers in STEM, though… Read more »


To anyone who thinks this article BS/sexist/etc., lemme try to rephrase it, and it’s more TLDR: So, roughly 80% of women are feminine IN THEIR NATURE. It’s IN THEIR NATURE, so that’s the way they are. What would people with a feminine nature rather do? Feminine activities, ofc. Capability and willingness are 2 different things. Every human in the world, masculine or feminine, are CAPABLE of doing any activity in the world, whether these activities are masculine or feminine. However, the people with a feminine nature, male or female or whatever other gender, would be WILLING to only do feminine… Read more »


I work in IT which forces me to be less feminine. I’ve recently worked part time as a waitress during lunch . Everything about the job brings out my feminine feelings. First theres the mostly male blue collar workers that come in to eat. Secondly its expected by male management that the waitresses greet the diners with a warm smile along with the uniform which is a botton up white blouse with short but not too short pleated black skirt. It looks cute but classy. The ensemble brings out my out femininity. I love approaching a table of hungry men… Read more »


I’m so HAPPY to see this!!! It’s soooo TURE!!!!I started my career working with the blind elderly and disabled. I felt like my soul was nourished everyday helping make a difference. And…. I was NATURALLY TALENTED at the job. But I was working two jobs and poor, so I went into sales. Twenty years later, I still have a sadness within me- a longing for being naturally good at something and feeling fulfilled. To survive in sales, I have have had to make up for my lack of natural talent by working twice as hard as any man. I’ve always… Read more »


I feel my most feminine and most beautiful when I enter a room and i feel like i am soft and glowing and healing, and its like everybody is receptive to that kind of.. love? Still, I’m not sure which job i am suited for. seeing as how i get really depressed and have to quit my jobs because of the stress factor and honestly just feeling like it’s demanding too much of me i dont feel im built for and it really just goes against the grain in an unbearable way. maybe a teacher, i can be…




Perhaps most careers are perceived as being “masculine” because at this time, the “masculine” is collectively more valued and hence rewarded more than the “feminine.” Perhaps the actual career is neither masculine or feminine, but to be successful needs to be adapted to the dominant culture and its values?

Reply to  Moving


Reply to  Lindsey

THIS!!!** I agree.

Reply to  Moving

Really agree here. Some people are more assertive or business driven but can in fact turn it off when dating. In fact over feminitity can be dangerous when you ignore your decisve gut feelings about toxic behaviors but rather stay and give them a chance because of emotions and supporting another’s ups and downs which eventually ends up being toxic as they use you to dump their emotional crap load. I don’t want to sit in a circle and talk about flowers and makeup and puppies all day. Yes in private I like feminine indulgences but not 24/7. I would… Read more »


Your quote:

“To do anything that requires masculine energy – most careers are masculine oriented, especially careers that have a lot of status attached to them such as being a lawyer, and careers where you have to meet deadlines, manage and direct people, and career where you have to fix things.”

The latter half of the sentence sounds like many women describing their roles as housekeeper and Mother.


I love to be in my feminine. When things get stressful, I tell myself to slow down and breathe and feel my emotions in that moment. There are times I want to talk, and there are times I prefer to be quiet and relax and be in my body using my senses.

Super Janice
Super Janice
Reply to  StarsCollide

I don’t really like to be in my feminine. When things get stressful, I would rather punch people!

Reply to  Super Janice

🙂 There are times I want to punch people in the face!

Super Janice
Super Janice
Reply to  StarsCollide

When things get stressful, I would rather…give myself more stress……


Beautiful article. Femininity is beautiful.



How do you feel about professions like surgery and anesthesia? These are professions in which we literally sometimes have more power than most women ever want, and the responsibility too. How do i stay humble? Sometimes when I’m doing everything right in the operating room it can be SO easy to say “well, I’m doing all this- I don’t need anyone!”

When we succeed at these ridiculous jobs how do we keep from getting a “God” complex? Never a good idea and truly disastrous when a woman gets one.

Thank you 🙂

LaToya Anderson
LaToya Anderson

I’m glad that you wrote that the advice given were generalizations about femininity. It’s only until recently that I have finally come to terms with both of my energies and what I need to feel my best self. What I realized is that femininity for me is the acceptance of all of my energies all flowing into, around, and through one another (masculine and feminine). You ask when I feel at my most feminine? When I’m at the weight rack lifting heavy weights because it brings out the goddess or phoenix in me. When I’m sitting in a calculus or… Read more »


I feel powerful when I make a difference in the lives of those around me, or if I feel like I am. That is power, right, since YOURE the one who has the influence? When I feel like I don’t have power, I get depressed. I feel shitty about myself if I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything. I feel so lighthearted, like there’s going to be no worries at all, when I feel powerful. Standing on top of a mountain, looking down at my accomplishments in happiness. How can you not feel that extreme giddiness when you feel like… Read more »


When I felt most feminine AND most powerful, it was the same memory! lol! It was walking up to a man in black lingerie and thigh highs, taking him by the hand and leading him to a lap dance without saying a word. I’m an exotic dancer and i do feel the power I have over men through my femininity…but I feel like it’s a gift to them and that I’m more myself at work than any other job I’ve had. To be clear I only DANCE! I am not one of those “dancers” that really performs sexual favors in… Read more »

Pixie Pie
Pixie Pie

When I feel powerful, I’m on the stage. Belting out the blues, or dancing the Burly Q. When I feel powerful, I’m making everyone in the audience feel what I want them to feel. Laugh when I want them to, cry when I want them to. And I have yet to meet a man that doesn’t find that sexy as hell. Especially my husbo. You can have it all. Be powerful AND beautiful!


Buy Essays, Research Papers, Term Papers, Thesis, & Dissertations.


I’ve even been told when I go out dancing, stop trying to lead, lol. Talk about not letting a man lead, lol…


Love this article. My only niece told me at 28 that i needed to be more affectionate and calm down because all she seen me do it work and she was 14 at the time. I never knew realize how right she was and I’m 34 now. Love this article. I used to think being submissive meant i had to give up my life to a man and be a stepford wife. I’ve been in control way to much and need some balance. Maybe this is why I keep meeting libras because they are suppose to be about balance, harmony… Read more »

Nicole Ar
Nicole Ar
Reply to  Rios

34 but you talk like a little girl.


I knew it was time when at 31 The Dr. told me my pressure was high and kept me. not only that my right arm and neck started hurting. I’ve always been in great shape even did a little modeling. but that wasn’t enough. Every for the past year i connect with myself. I was with a guy who was working before but then got laid off, all the responsibility fell on me. Just like it did when I was 10. My mom passed when I was 14 and my father threw everything on me on purpose because he felt… Read more »


Hi Renee, I havent even finish reading the article and I know where you are going with this. For so long being on my own and even when I was with someone, I had to be in control all the time and it ddnt make me feel beautiful at all. My father never took care of us so i learned from an early age to work since I was 10. I’m 34 now and I’m very very feminine but when I have to be in control, it throws me off, especially when I have to do eveyrthing and people dont… Read more »

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