If we as women, are truly feminine at our core but reject it, we can sometimes find ourselves in dating situations where the man doesn’t commit, even after the relationship got sexual.
Especially after the relationship got sexual. Wanting a woman for sex is one thing, but wanting a woman for a relationship, that tends to happen when a man perceives high value in a woman.
If you are truly a feminine woman at your core, but don’t know how to let your femininity surface, then you might have a problem.
You might be wasting a lot of your energy just pushing down your natural drivers for the sake of being enough or gaining society’s acceptance.
Being Socially Accepted Is Not Real Happiness!
And even if you think you are happy, something might feel like it is missing some day.
Because you’re rejecting a part of yourself. Being able to claim your feminine energy is at the heart of your own happiness, and most definitely the happiness of your relationship.
Our culture rejects a woman’s authentic femininity and has replaced it with ‘image-related’ ideas of femininity as well as masculinity. This can make things very hard for us.
So if you’ve ever felt like it’s incredibly hard to be feminine in today’s world, many women I speak to feel the same, and you are not alone.
Most women are more than happy to get dressed up, buy clothes that are on trend but clothes they don’t need, and wear bucket-loads of make up.
Yet this is not femininity. This is a trigger, and ‘cue’ or a ‘sign’ of femininity. It definitely has enormous value on the surface.
However, there’s a problem when this becomes the only idea of femininity. (read my article about how to be feminine.)
Being A Woman Doesn’t Mean You Are Feminine
As the common argument goes: “as long as I am a woman, I am feminine!” Being a woman and being feminine apparently go hand-in-hand.
That’s like saying that starting a business means it will succeed, or because it’s an orange, it must be sweet.
Sure, most women are indeed very feminine at their core, but just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you show up as feminine.
I have met women who were obviously soft, flowing, feminine souls in their core (or so I felt they were), but on the outside, they were intense, domineering, abusive women…
And that wasn’t natural to them, because they were doing those things to be enough. To feel important. Not because they were just being themselves.
How would I know this? I don’t, necessarily. But this is just what I see in the world and it’s what I believe.
I test these women sometimes, and respond to their domineering, aggressive behaviour with an attempt to be open and to soften them…
Sometimes, they begin to respond with a cover up of what their actions were for.
I believe this is because they know, inside, with their infinite bodily intelligence, that their actions were a facade. They weren’t being who they truly are.
I learned from people like Tony Robbins and David Deida that we are all either more masculine, feminine or neutral at our core.
That is – we are all either more masculine, feminine or neutral at our core, and when this is suppressed, either by choice or through conditioning (usually a combination of both) we become dead human beings.
Think of people waiting on the seats on the subway in the morning.
Imagine their posture. How are they holding themselves? Are they poised and graceful? Are their shoulders slumped?
Are the corners of their mouth sloping downwards? Are their mouths tight?
Are they sensual? Rigid? Or are they free?
Do they smile or acknowledge you with their eyes or do they avoid looking at you?
There’s a reason why many women have trouble letting their true selves shine through, and it’s a very sad thing. Let’s talk about why that is…
How Feminine Energy Is Conditioned Out Of Women
In many parts of our society, femininity and emotionality is made wrong. This starts in schools and with some parents. They say you can’t be like this, you can’t be like that.
Sit down, shut up, wear the same thing as everybody else. Do the work. Get the result. Get an A in your projects. Suck it up. Just please us.
This is how you should do it. Get that high powered career. Get in to debt. Die. (Whether literally or not).
And for a multitude of other reasons, women cover up their femininity, and just stop caring about themselves and others.
What happens when a woman’s emotionality or authentic feminine energy is made wrong?
She covers it up and becomes a lifeless being. Some would say women become more masculine, and this is true sometimes.
But my feeling is that women tend to become lifeless lonely robots, masculine or not!
You could shake them up in a blender and they wouldn’t move an inch.
Women who are in this habitual state make themselves miserable, and make others around them miserable.
It surfaces as ‘depression’, ‘anxiety disorder’, learned helplessness, an I don’t care attitude, or “I’m just career-oriented”.
What it really is, is a part of us dying.
It’s easy to just say “well I don’t care”.
Until we do care.
Or, I guess, until life forces us to care.
(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)
Emotionality And Authenticity Is The Core Of Femininity
The nature of femininity is that there is life.
There is emotion and authenticity, there is unpredictability and vulnerability, and there is sexuality.
To be feminine you cannot be afraid of your own ability to feel, to enjoy and to influence.
Think of a woman, standing in front of you, smiling big. She’s smiling so big, and her smile is so energetic, you can’t help but smile back, but if you don’t smile back, her energy heals you.
But this is not just a smile. Any woman on the street can pull a smile, and the majority of women pull smiles that are practiced.
A smile for the sake of a smile.
A smile that is pulled so that you can’t say I snobbed you off.
Going back to the woman…
She’s smiling right at you, all the while, her eyes are lit up and she’s not shying away from the joy and the infectious energy that her smile brings.
She’s irresistible. And I don’t mean sexually (though she is likely sexually irresistible too).
I mean, her energy is irresistible. When you’re around her, you feel more alive. You feel nurtured.
Once she’s in your life, you really can’t imagine life without her. She’s a special friend or a special lover.
Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.
This Is How She Usually Shows Up
…She shows up with high value vulnerability!
If she’s sad, her tears fall unapologetically.
If she’s hurt, you can see it.
If she’s angry, you can see it, and you can feel it, because she’s not afraid of her own authentic anger.
Most important: she’s not rejecting her feelings.
She’s not rejecting parts of herself.
This is scary for many of us women today. We think authenticity is wrong, because it has indeed been made wrong.
Women are raised today to go for the kill. That is not a problem in itself but it is when women feel rejected for being truly feminine.
The scary thing about this is that many women have sweet-talked themselves in to believing that feminine energy is wrong.
It’s not ok to feel vulnerable.
You might be surprised to know that there is such a thing as high value vulnerability.
You can find out more about this in this video that my hubby D.Shen made…
We are taught to please and to conform from a very young age. But I’m glad to say that I do see the tide turning.
And I am personally also extremely blessed to have a handful of girlfriends who are feminine, authentic and real in my presence.
They gift me with their authenticity, their tears, their laughter and their affection.
It’s also very hard when there are also some men out there in the big wide world make a woman’s emotionality wrong.
“Stop being dumb”.
“What a crazy bitch”.
“Why are you so emotional?”
This is not about being an emotional wreck (although you are free to be that too).
But regardless of whether you are an emotional wreck or not, what you have to understand, is that it’s not necessary for you to control your emotions in order to be a high value woman!
It’s about showing who you really are as a woman, and feeling what you really feel.
If your life is always about getting things done, pleasing people, achieving something, keeping to the ‘rules’ and pretending you don’t have fears.
Then what you will find is that you are are always up to your neck in responsibilities.
These responsibilities then constrict your feminine energy. Ie: your femininity is probably being suppressed.
Feminine Energy Is Scary
Women who freely express what they’re feeling scare a lot of other women.
Why does it scare them?
Because they have rejected this about themselves.
They’ve got to be ‘in control’. There’s nothing wrong with that either.
But here are the real questions:
How free do you really feel when you put encumbrances on what you can or can’t be?
How free do you really feel when you put restrictions on what you can or cannot feel?
How free do you really feel when you make your very own essence as a woman wrong?
I see women everywhere, every day putting other women down for being real and feminine. A spontaneous laugh that is authentic and silly; that expresses true joy and vulnerability is scowled at.
A woman screams once more than is ideal on television and she’s just a nuisance.
A woman who is not afraid of her femininity, her sensuality and her ability to enchant is unfairly labelled a slut or treated as an outcast, though maybe all she’s doing is gifting people with her energy.
A lot of women do often project something that is fake (fake feminine) – some women cry repetitively to get attention, or scream to get attention.
They try to get something from men, as if men should just be there at their beck and call.
This is not real or authentic, and it’s not feminine. It is just manipulative and a sign of desperation.
I have a really goofy side and a childlike girly side that would make many a modern woman sick to the stomach.
But I don’t make it wrong, because I don’t want to suppress different parts of myself. I also have a masculine side if the situation calls for it.
To be human, and indeed, to be a human female means to allow the full expression of yourself and your femininity.
Here is what you can do to become more feminine:
Step 1 To Be More Feminine: Allow Men To Influence You
Look toward the men (or the man) in your life and allow them to influence you.
Consciously allow yourself to feel happy, excited, and attracted to masculine men or the man in your life.
Masculine men have a wonderful gift to give you, and that is realizing your own feminine energy (warning: do be careful! Some men will want to just take advantage of you).
If you feel yourself rejecting their masculine energy (you’ll usually feel it in your body), ‘wanting to keep it out’, or not allowing men to influence you (like so many women do for the need to not be out of control, or for the need to be independent), just remember that that is a part of yourself you are rejecting.
If you feel yourself rejecting men or their masculine energy (usually out of fear – move your body to a different position, or rapidly change your posture and you will feel different.
In return, you will feel men and women expressing their appreciation for your energy.
Allowing a man to influence you could mean acknowledging their presence and their masculinity and what a gift that is, because men these days also reject their own masculine energy. It could mean letting a man you don’t know open a door for you or letting your man put a big smile on your face.
(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)
Step 2 To Be More Feminine: Notice Your Rejection Of Other Women’s Feminine Energy
Consciously notice yourself when you are rejecting other women for being feminine or for being themselves.
If you notice this, know that it’s a huge warning sign!
If you reject other women, or you judge them, you’re not being smart or superior.
What you are really doing is dis-owning a part of yourself, and you’re not free. And what happens when you’re not free, is you cannot be feminine and you become tight, controlling and dead.
This is probably going to be a bit tiring, for you.
Step 3 To Be More Feminine: Feminine Friends!
Surround yourself with feminine women and celebrate their feminine energy.
Read my article on A Warning About Girlfriends Who Don’t Compliment You.
And my article on Warning: Pick Your Friends Carefully.
Step 4 To Be More Feminine: Believe That Your Feminine Energy Is A GIFT
You must hold the belief that your feminine energy is a gift.
It’s you being authentic. It’s not selfish, it’s not stupid.
It’s a gift to yourself and to your man, and to any other men in your life. You can learn more about how your feminine energy is a gift to your man by reading my article on being submissive in a relationship, as well as my article on surrendering to masculine energy.
You would love and appreciate a masculine man of integrity who is present, humorous and confident, right?
Well, in much the same way, other human beings feel your feminine energy as a gift, even if they can’t consciously define it as feminine.
By the way, these 17 feminine attraction triggers that I’ve put together are a doorway to your outer and inner feminine essence. Click here to get it (and get the first volume of Attraction Control Monthly for FREE).
Now, over to you. Please share your thoughts and experiences. Let us know of any thoughts you have that could help other women embrace their femininity.
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
P.S. Connect with me on social media!
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.