6 Keys to Respecting A Masculine Man

What does Respect look like to a man?

Everybody knows men crave respect in an intimate relationship with a woman.

But it’s not always automatic for women to give it. Lately I’ve been investigating the idea that respecting a man is not 100% always a woman’s conscious choice in a relationship.

Here’s why: I feel deep respect for my husband, and it’s not logical. I don’t tell myself to respect him. He earned it by not being willing to be a passive man.

I FEEL respect. It’s in my gut, it’s in my heart, and it exists as a part of my body. It is a part of me, almost like the lifeblood that runs through my body.

However, I have also chosen to GIVE respect to him even when I was scared.

He started out being a man who is worthy of respect. But like any human being, he is not perfect. So in these imperfect moments, the question remains: does he lose my respect?

How to Respect A Man

What Does It Mean To Respect A Man?

Respect is defined as: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

In other words, respect is earned.

But here’s the difficult part, especially when it comes to knowing how to respect a man in a relationship: to gain those achievements and abilities, he HAS to make mistakes. He HAS to have many moments of imperfection.

No man turns his life into a masterpiece by literally being perfect every second of every day. That just wouldn’t make sense.

Mistakes are necessary for him to adjust, and to grow bigger and stronger.

Men Who Command A Woman’s Respect Automatically

I believe there are some men in the world, a smaller population of men, who command respect from a High Value woman automatically.

For example: we walk past them in the street and it’s just the way he carries himself that commands your respect.

He commands respect without saying a word, because of his energy. Or his “vibe”, if you will.

His energy tells you that his entire life is oriented towards his own unique direction, as every true alpha male has.

The fact that he is true to his mission 100% and knows his place in the world – of course you can’t help but respect a man like him.

A woman who holds herself as low value might just chase after him and try to sleep with him and hope he will marry her.

Yet a high value woman will silently acknowledge him under her breath and give him respect.

A lot of men don’t deserve your respect; they talk a lot and do little, like many women do anyway.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

Respect In A Relationship With A Man

But when it comes to a relationship with a man, here’s what I suggest. You may not respect him fully yet. But give him the benefit of the doubt for one month.

You have to give yourself the chance to feel respect for him and give him a chance to be the man.

Unless of course, he is completely useless as a man in a relationship. Some men just like to walk through life getting easy sex and not caring about anyone but their mom. If they even care about their mom.

They like to just keep you around, but they have no idea that human beings have feelings; and they don’t care.

These are the men who may be traumatised and therefore unable to attune themselves to you at all. This lack of ability to attune is a big red flag.

These men are probably not worth your time.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

You Don’t Have To Respect Men Outside Of Your Relationship

…(If they aren’t worthy of it).

But when it comes to dating and having a relationship with a man, respecting a man matters if you want a healthy relationship.

Here’s why I suggest giving the man you’ve chosen to date the benefit of the doubt:

If you don’t start off respecting a man in any way at all, then he can’t trust you, and the foundation of your emotional connection falls to pieces.

It’s natural for a feminine woman to look up to and admire a masculine man, for all the things that she cannot do to the same level that he can.

(Yes, men are just better at some things naturally. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Just like you wouldn’t sit around saying that men can breastfeed a baby just as well as women can.)

So if you cannot offer up any kind of admiration to a man at all, then it’s likely that he can’t be the man you want him to be in the relationship, because you don’t even believe in him.

And if you don’t believe in him, then he won’t trust you or commit to you fully. He’s going to doubt your fidelity, your loyalty and he may also feel afraid in the relationship.

Another thing…

Men Know That Women Seek High Status Men

The majority of women in this world prefer to marry up. They wish to raise their social status, to be more financially stable, to be with a man who is more intelligent than her and makes more money than her. It’s instinctive.

It doesn’t mean you can’t marry a man who makes less money than you do – provided you respect him and are really attracted to him, it doesn’t matter.

But biologically, women are driven to seek men of status; and to seek men of higher status than they are.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

Here’s why that matters in relation to respect: men know intuitively that women prefer to seek men of high status. Which means that if you are criticizing him, if you are pointing out everything you think is a flaw, he will feel he cannot trust you.

He may assume that your respect will go to every other male around you who seems more successful than him.

So you have to establish some kind of understanding within him that you are willing to come some of the way, and to be patient with him. If you don’t, then this lack of courage on your part will just push him away.

If you CAN’T let him take you places (emotionally and physically) if you can’t let him make decisions, he will automatically feel emasculated, and he won’t commit fully to you.

He might be casual with you, but he won’t commit fully to you.

There’s no reason for him to do so, as he doesn’t get one of the most crucial things he wants from a woman; the feeling of respect.

If you don’t offer respect to a man – your eyes show it, your body language shows it, the words that come out of your mouth show it. So he feels it.

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Be Honest With Yourself About The Type Of Man You REALLY Want

Although I am almost certain that respecting a man isn’t always your conscious choice (your body may just be turned off him), I do believe that unless he’s repeatedly destroying your trust in him and doing horrible things, it’s worth a try to offer up some basic respect.

When you do this; many men will step up to the plate and BE that strong, powerful man for you – the man who earns your respect, because your trust and vulnerability is inspiring. It fuels him to fulfil his masculine direction in life.

In any long term relationship, you can’t just call him weak, criticise or emasculate him and expect him to be the man you want him to be.

That’s just asking for trouble in a relationship. This is why it’s crucial for you to NOT just go for any man who seems willing and available to HAVE a relationship with you.

Not only are you hurting yourself, you’re hurting him, because you never did respect or trust him in the first place!

So, choose wisely. Don’t accept any man who seems to give you attention. Be discerning. To help you with that, here’s an article I wrote on the 7 Burning Signs A Man Is Being Low Value.

If you want an Alpha Male, if you WANT a High Status man, don’t pretend that you don’t. Be honest with yourself; be authentic. Don’t cheap out and go for a man you’re not really attracted to because you feel desperate for a relationship.

I have done this before, and I was essentially a complete fraud. I was to scared to go for a higher value man. In fact when I first started dating my husband, I almost pushed him away for good.

Because his strong masculine direction, integrity and healthy approach to relationships felt intimidating to me.

You may wonder why. Why would I risk losing such a great man?

Because he revealed me. He revealed all my bullshit, and I really didn’t know how to deal with that.

Thank goodness I found a way to overcome that, as I’ve never had to feel like I chose a man who I cannot respect or trust due to fear.

If you fear that you tend to push men (or people) away, have a read of my article on Why Do I Push People Away? Signs You Push People Away And How To Stop.

Here’s Where You Can Start With Men. How To Give A Man Respect:

9 times out of 10, in the relationships I observe today, it’s the woman who wears the pants. And the man remains passive. In reality, he’s scared as hell. His testicles are in her jar, up in her secret little hiding cupboard.

Unless you are a naturally masculine woman, this isn’t your natural place. It’s not your place to emasculate a man and not trust him to do anything, or make any big decisions, or feel the need to point out what the should do and where he went wrong.

So try not wearing the pants for one month with the men you meet.

Don’t be passive either, because that adds no value to your relationship. I know that most women who hear this will go and be passive instead; and start operating from another extreme.

Don’t sit there waiting for a man to do everything. You can give a suggestion, but trust him enough to let him make his own decisions for you both about where to go.

And YES – let him make every mistake under the sun in his life without telling him what to do. You can show him how you feel – because your feelings are there to help him adjust.

When you show him how his actions make you feel – he may respect you more and appreciate your vulnerability.

If he’s serious about you, then he will respond to your feelings quickly and adjust accordingly.

But don’t boss him around and tell him what to do just because you are afraid to let go of control. Instead, say you’re afraid to let go of control!

(I know this may feel hard. I know you may not want to do it.)

The reason you don’t want to do this is the reason you have to do it – because it scares you.

That’s what it means to be with a man! This is what it means to get closer to him and to allow him the space to be a man for you. It’s not always a walk in the park, and that’s a good thing.

Showing a man respect lies in allowing him the opportunity to be a man for you, and to make his own mistakes.

He will want to do better for you when he sees that you will not cut him down, get revenge on him or punish him for making mistakes – even when they are stupid to you, and even when you think you wouldn’t have made that mistake!

(Remember men aren’t like women. So at times, the things he does are going to seem a little…stupid to you. Remember that saying boys are from the stupid factory? Well, yes the things he does may seem that way, but this happens so that HE can learn. He needs to learn for himself, without your condemnation.)

And if you feel you are too scared to do this; try anyway. You can always leave the relationship if you want. You won’t die from trying to offer value and respect!

So with all this ‘talk’ about respect, respect, respect, you might be wondering how to show a man respect and admiration? I’ll give you some suggestions on how to respect a man as a woman.

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

The ONE Foundational Principle On How To Respect A Man:

The foundational principle on showing feminine respect to a man is to appreciate and respect how he experiences masculine energy.

What does this mean?

It means that even if he isn’t doing the masculine things you wish he did, that you show appreciation for how he experiences his masculinity.

He may not be a footballer, but he may be a very good gamer.

He may not make a whole lot of money, but he’s very good at solving problems around the house.

It’s about honouring masculine energy over your own rules as a woman for how you think he should be.

See, I used to hate my husband playing games. I thought it was “childish”. Over time, I began to realise that actually, men playing video games helps them get better at solving problems, and the act of solving problems in a game actually allows them to experience their masculine energy.

Now that I have 3 sons, though I still resist them playing games for too long, I can appreciate that it’s what boys do in order to express their masculine energy.

So I try to appreciate it as best I can. It is one way in which I’m able to show respect – because hey, I am pretty bad at solving video game problems myself, so I guess I can appreciate their ability to do it (and maybe teach me in the process).

Make sense?

Here’s an article I wrote on What If He Is Heavily Into Video Games?

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

Here Are 6 Keys To Respecting A Masculine Man

(Choose from these options based on whether you’re just in the beginning stages of dating a man for 1-5 months, or whether you’re in a long term relationship and trust is already established to some extent.)

  1. Respecting a man means to not wear the pants.

    Sometimes you might want to wear the pants, but most of the time, if you choose to wear the pants, then he’s not going to feel respected.

    So give him the room to rise up as a man.
  2. Give him the gift of your joy and not withholding your joy out of fear or being manipulative.

    Why? Because when he does something funny or something good, your positive responsiveness fuels more this behaviour from him. He feels respected for his efforts.
  3. Respect the fact that he has an ego, and this ego needs to feel good.

    You have the choice to laugh at that and say to this: ‘what a joke’ – that’s up to you. But it all depends on how much you genuinely want true love, and not just a significance trip for yourself. People can feel the difference between these two, by the way.
  4. When he makes a mistake, don’t say: “I told you so.” or “Remember when I told you NOT to do that?!”

    Because that just creates more disconnects in your relationship. Instead, respond by feeling. Or respond by finding something more compassionate to say. He’s a human being too.
  5. Smile and enjoy the fun when he drives in the wrong direction.

    Oh. No? Do you prefer to roll your eyes, cross your arms or shake your head and tell him where to go? If you do, them I ask you; do you want a loving and passionate relationship, or do you want a fight?
  6. Want the BEST for him and your relationship by actually wanting him to trust his own direction and his own word first.

    See, a masculine man needs to trust his own direction the most. NOT yours.

    Because it is the masculine soul in the relationship that needs to offer the direction. Feminine energy has no direction. If it does, the only direction it offers is inevitable changing feelings.

    These feelings are the exact thing that helps men have better direction and make better choices in a relationship.

    The best thing you could do is to let him have his own sense of direction. When the masculine isn’t castrated by a controlling woman, the relationship can then have passion.

    After all, the value of a strong masculine direction is there so that the feminine can feel her emotions, experience a sense of safety and protection, and therefore have the freedom to be responsive to her children.

    A man can’t feel safe to trust your direction until he is man enough to trust his own and follow his own path.

ONE Thing That Kills Your Ability To Show Respect

There’s one thing that really kills your ability to show respect and admiration to a man, and that’s having to be “right”.

When you’re always having to be “right” and wanting to be admired for being the “expert”, then you don’t leave him space to be masculine.

This ruins the polarity in a relationship as well.

Related: Mistakes Women Make To Destroy Sexual Polarity With Men.

There’s a long time married couple who are friends of mine and my husband’s. His wife was extremely controlling and would say condescending things, and it was clear she never wanted the best for him; but just to keep him close.

My hubby and I would talk to her husband about a new business idea of his around our dinner table, and we would give him ideas and suggestions. He would ponder them and during that time his wife would keep yelling out objections to his thoughts and ideas.

To our surprise, when she did this her husband once said “actually, I think I’ll follow David and Renee’s reasoning.”

And she would blurt out:

“What?! NO! Listen to your WIFE!”

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”….Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

What You Should Do Next…

If you’re just dating a man and he is not committed yet; you can try to give unconditional respect for one month. Genuine, real respect. Don’t wear the pants.

If after a month and you’ve done this genuinely, and you are not more attracted to him, and you’re not ‘feeling’ it, then leave.

And if you’re reading this and you’re in a long term relationship or marriage, you do it for 90 days. Yes, 3 whole months!

Take the Understanding Men program, click here to read more information of this program. 

Thanks for reading. I’m wondering; do you agree that to respect a man, you have to FEEL it in your gut?

Do you believe that respecting a man is not your choice? Let me know below!

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

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Oluwa T Love
Oluwa T Love

I love this, men equate respect to love

Liya
Liya

I had to come back to this article a few times to revisit my feelings. I think respect is something I consciously withhold when I’m afraid! I can’t put my finger on what exactly makes me afraid but it’s not exactly a fear of intimacy, its related to whether or not I’m “dulling” my body’s sense of whether a man is worth my time or I’m just lonely. It’s even more difficult because I have found that a lot of men do want their egos stroked, but they do not have healthy egos to begin with, and they don’t have… Read more »

Gloria
Gloria

Yes

Holly
Holly

I have a good man!

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell

Where can I find an EVEN man? One that’s not a cartoon, one sided “beta vs masculine” type. I’d just like to meet a guy that uses logic and makes sense! He’s smart, secure, and self sufficient and so am I. We spend our days adding value to ourselves for our union, and our nights lightning each others load and filling up each others cup. We respect each other because we are RESPECTABLE people. We create our life and fill in the positions with discernment of each others skills. We don’t do anything or avoid anything for gender. We only… Read more »

Yim Bott
Yim Bott

But what do u do when the respect you give is taken for weakness. What if you gave respect from the beginning and the guy used it against you and thought BC u showed him respect it meant that u wud put up with whatever and then you grew to not respect him anymore. It’s hard to respect a guy who propositions other women, breaks promises and rejects u. I know it turned into lack of self respect if u stuck around for thus but my point is what if its inevitable that giving a guy undeserved respect will always… Read more »

Dee
Dee
Reply to  Yim Bott

Then you’ve found the wrong man. Try again.

Dee
Dee
Reply to  Yim Bott

So also in this ohase of respect, is a phase of you checking him. Meaning lettkng him know when he’s getting close to or has crossed a line. You also have to make it be known in your actions and interactions with him that you respect yourself. If he doesn’t consider you and your feelings he’s not the one. You have to start acknowledging in your mind when you come across a man who considers your feelings and analyzing from there. It’s easy to want to overcome challenges when that’s all we’ve been conditioned to in our current era as… Read more »

Matryoshkadollie
Matryoshkadollie

Sorry but so much of this seems so one sided. Too many men don’t respect women! Need proof? Google manosphere, return of kings, Roosh v, mens rights, pick up artists. any website for mail order brides and you’ll see what I mean. Whole thing is dusgusting, yet people blame feminism instead of the misogynists? I agree with Jessica. Respect has to be earned!

tommy hall
tommy hall

Women aren’t looking for respect. Women are looking to be protected and lead by someone who has a backbone. They want a leader and they want to be loved and cherished by that strong, principled leader. Back in the old days women respected their men because they feared them to some degree…men had the power to break their necks in less than 15 seconds. Now this fear is virtually gone, as feminism and political correctness has all but destroyed the essence of maleness, along with the sexual tension/polarity that comes from the masculine/feminine dynamic.

Linda de Jong
Linda de Jong
Reply to  tommy hall

Seriously? Example A from the manosphere.

Newflash – women want to be respected just as much as men do. And if that respect isn’t forthcoming, neither is the love.

wildcucumber
wildcucumber
Reply to  tommy hall

Single guy, are ya?

Frank
Frank

Men have no power anymore. Feminism did that to our society and it is destroying the family. Millenial men are opting out of marriage because they see what has happened to their friends,fathers and grandfathers. Men are tired of being mistreated by their wives and the system. 75% of divorces are filed by women.Men get stripped of their children and their wealth. You women did this to yourselves by swallowing the Feminist lie. Live with it!

Raine
Raine
Reply to  Frank

Frank – women are reading this to learn how to better respect men. You are literally wading through proof that women want to respect men and calling it the opposite. Sorry for disrespecting you by correcting you there.

Anie
Anie
Reply to  Frank

Men treated women as subordinates and objects for so long, however. Within the feminine soul, we long to be cherished, not controlled. Men instigated feminism by usurping power and control, and by failing to meet our deepest needs.

Norski
Norski

Just found your site. This is the first “woman’s blog” I’ve been able to endorse, let alone take seriously. You’ve hit the nail right on the head with this post. It’s so refreshing to hear stuff like this amidst the 3rd wave feminist nonsense that’s polluting everything lovely about the gender I so deeply adore. One thing is for sure: The fastest way to get me to be a gentlemanly, go-getter, goal oriented, danger and fun seeking, chivalrous badass is to do small, subtle things that make me feel like you believe in me. The second I see captivation in… Read more »

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Norski

Sad. Someone has to “get you to be a go getter”, but you think you deserve the respect of a leader? You can’t even lead yourself to be a go-getter.

Lysander
Lysander
Reply to  Tara Mitchell

That is the kind of attitude that makes men run. Why do you feel the need to degrade him? As a man, I’ve felt the inspirational effects of a feminine woman. It makes you want to be better in every way, even in the ways you didn’t necessarily care about before. Woman these days don’t inspire any sense of devotion from the men in their lives. Maybe it’s a two way street, but you cant come at someone with the attitude you have here Tara and expect anything good.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Tara Mitchell

Just another feminist troll name calling. You are a good example of why Men are running away from women like you as fast as they can.

Luke
Luke

Why do women feel so threatened by choosing the backseat or passenger seat once in a while?? Men are naturally dominant. That’s what women should be attracted to. For more modern women to be more dominant in the relationship worries me. The reason men are so dominant and aggressive is to protect their family or tribe. So many women throughout history have been far more willing to take the backseat for their men to do what they’re made for. If society collapses – which is possible, these men will have to step up and be the aggressive leaders again. I… Read more »

Alex
Alex
Reply to  Luke

“Why do women feel so threatened by choosing the backseat or passenger seat once in a while??” You want to know why? I’ll tell you why. Because at a time when all women did this all the time, they were being taken advantage of, treated like doormats and made to feel like they weren’t as important as the men. It was all ‘oh honey, sit down or go back to the kitchen, you don’t know what you’re talking about.’ This is what happens when one gender is made to domineer over another. Just like with men feeling emasculated and unimportant… Read more »

Raine
Raine
Reply to  Luke

good question. I love to be lead in a relationship. the resistance comes from experiencing your boyfriend or husband leading you in a negative direction. flaking on plans, keeping you waiting, not keeping you in the loop, LYING, dripfeeding, and other shady behavior. then women resist being lead and so they speak up to get their needs met, which is considered by a man as ‘criticism’.
also, please consider that women of the past are the same women of today, they just had less financial power therefore less choice.

Anita
Anita
Reply to  Raine

Excellent. So well said. I would love to be led cared for and protected. But when the man is poorly planned, cant communicate properly, lies, cant follow through on anything and exhibits other shady behavior , then the same woman who was keen to be led, now goes into survival mode and starts doing all HIS work so that things work in their lives. BUt in the process he feels emasculated. Such a catch 22. Also please note women of 100 years ago were not spending 27 years of their lives in education, travelling the world on business, learning investing… Read more »

Paul
Paul

Why do women want to turn an Alpha male into a beta and an beta male into an Alpha male. I you want a male who can lead let him lead let him lead. And if you want a lazy beta male too scared to displease you get yourself a soft male, who spends all his time trying to serve you like your butler, and trying to be your therapist instead of your manly man.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Paul

Most women want a servant and not a Man to provide for them with no back talk. Men have had it.

Marie
Marie

I thought feminine energy and feminine women are more passive?

kofybean
kofybean

What good is respect if you only “silently acknowledge him under her breath”? I’m sure this article means well but the evo psychology is complete b.s.

Women arent programmed like computers to seek certain men amymore than men are programmed to seek certain womem.

If you follow that logic you just advocated a society where women throw away love and swing from man to man until she gets the richest one. And men, in return, dump woman after woman for a younger one. Society would crumble under such an environment. Every relationship would be a doomed to failure.

Ouch
Ouch
Reply to  kofybean

Kofybean. I think you may have missed the point. “Silently acknowledge him under your breath” I think mean the woman who also respects herself has an understated yet confident presence about her. Not gaga and needy. And when it says let him make mistakes it doesn’t mean tell him he’s great because he sold the house cars cloths and emptied the bank retirement and college funds and bet them on a horse race thrn take tje winnings and open a llama ranch in North Korea to avoid taxes (lol). For you to respect a man he must first respect himself.… Read more »

kofybean
kofybean
Reply to  Ouch

Did you read the article? Or did you just write your humble opinion irrespective to the subject matter? The article convolutes respect with attraction. Just because you aren’t attracted to someone doesn’t mean they dont deserve respect. The article states that respect is not a conscious decision. Which is a trashy argument for disrespecting people, because hey… you can’t help it. The article provides metrics for respect based solely on attractiveness and idealisms as if the human species were a monolith of one single male archetype. Honestly, it reads like a bunch of superiority jargon. Suggesting that people shouldn’t be… Read more »

Ouch
Ouch
Reply to  kofybean

Hi Kofibean. I was not disrespecting you bu any means. And yes i did read the article a couple times. Why would i comnent to you otherwise. My point was simple but long winded. I took it to mean over the top fauning from a woman means you have an insecure or superficial lady. Wheras a strong confident woman is understated. She doesn’t need attention. Also they don’t need to be over the top. A good man will be discerning in his taste and preferences. And vice versa. This is a superficial article on the internet. Not meant (at least… Read more »

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  kofybean

You’re doing your best to ignore the specifics to this article. It is talking about 1) a relationship/dating scenario.. It does NOT apply to men and women simply engaging. She also makes clear her information is SPECIFIC to ultra masculine/feminine type dynamic. Again, NOT every general type of relationship. For THIS particular type of relationship, these are the keys functions and issues. She was very clear on what this was about and it was absolutely nowhere near what you attempted to change it to.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  kofybean

When women swing from man to man it is called Monkey Branching or Hypergamy and they all do it.

Equality?
Equality?
Reply to  kofybean

Sounds a lot like society today

Jessica
Jessica

When it comes to respect, it has to be earned and given in order to receive it. This is goes for both sexes. Some of the comments made valid points. If you don’t respect yourself, why should others respect you? Society has disotrted the views about respect towards men. I don’t respect men who lie, cheat, steal, murder and hurt women and children. I DO respect men who take care of their children, take care of their wives, treat women like the queens they are. I treat my husband like the king that he is because he does what he… Read more »

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  Jessica

Thank you!! I completely agree!! Men have to be genuine to earn respect and so do women. Equal. Fair. Reasonable. We as a society has gone one extreme to another it’s ridiculous. Thank you for these points!

Jessica W
Jessica W
Reply to  Fire343

You’re welcome. I posted that comment. I changed my postname so no one confuses me with another Jessica. I’m standing on that.

EL
EL
Reply to  Jessica

I mostly agree with you. But I think I also believe in the concept of unconditional respect. It’s seeing and respecting the person behind all of his/her positive or negative actions. Just like women need unconditional love, and feel very touched when a man loves her despite her failures and flaws, when men receives unconditional respect from his partner, I think it inspires him to become a better man. I see this in children too, if you love a child and see the child’s value and worth despite his/her misbehaviors, flaws or even when the child breaks your heart, it… Read more »

Luke
Luke
Reply to  EL

Thank you. Saying that your partner has to constantly earn your respect is like treating them like a stranger on the street. I mean, we have memories for a reason. That person had to have done something right once. It’s also good to have faith in the person you love.

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Luke

You forget marriage and long term relationships are agreements. Often, actual contract agreements. You can not continue to respect a PERSON who is not true to their word or upholds their agreement. Especially when it affects YOUR life so intimately. I’m certain you wouldn’t be giving unconditional respect and holding onto memories if your wife decides to pick up a boyfriend and sleep with him everyday before you come home.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  Jessica

Agreed Jessica! Thank you! See people, both men and women need to earn respect. It’s not hard! We were both meant to be equal.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Fire343

WE are not equal. We are different.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Jessica

Women are not queens,they are people.Thinking of yourself as a queen is where the problem starts. You all seem to have an outrageous sense of entitlement.

Gaby
Gaby
Reply to  Frank

Thank you for saying that women are not queens, I’m a woman, and seeing other women calling themselves that makes me uncomfortable. Knowing your value (that is meant to be GIVEN to a man not worshipped by him) is one thing, but this like you said is just entitled and arrogant. Plus if I were a man, I would want a woman who I can make feel beautiful and adored and precious… but I wouldn’t be able to do that if she already believes she is utterly flawless and a gift to all mankind. Vanity is repulsive and there’s so… Read more »

Arthur
Arthur

I’m not sure I understand the courage associated with respecting someone. I didn’t realize it took cast amounts of courage to show respect? I thought it was common courtesy if the one in question at least deserved it. I have a backbone and show respect because I believe you should treat someone the way you want to be treated. Although with all but the exception of one woman I dated for 3 years, they all showed me appalling disrespect for very mundane things, such as making a wrong turn or burning the bread we were going to have with dinner.… Read more »

Jessica
Jessica
Reply to  Arthur

Dear Arthur: Thank you for sharing your truth. When Renee is speaking of the courage it takes to offer respect unconditionally I believe she is speaking to a woman’s (or anyone’s) fears. Fear can drive us to want to be controlling of an outcome. If we’re in fear mode or coming from a place of lack, then we would be inclined to be controlling. When we try to control a situation or another person (and their reactions/action) it is because we’re afraid of getting hurt. When I was 16, I was afraid my bf would cheat on me (showing my… Read more »

Annie
Annie
Reply to  Jessica

Outstanding response. Thank you! i feel all of it and the ideal state is to be at place where there is total love and compassion for all the mistakes made and ones lives in total inner freedom and gives the other also the same freedom.

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Arthur

Jessica is right. It has to do with fear. But a portion you are forgetting is that a woman sits in a very difficult and uncomfortable place is this situation. She may have acted out of trust (which is the basis of respect) to men in the past who turned out to abuse her trust. In the type of relationship the article is referring to, the woman gives almost all control over to a man – to do as well with or mess up as bad as he will. Ask yourself, how comfortable would you be meeting another man tomorrow… Read more »

Mona
Mona

I think women should choose a man as a partner who they respect naturally for who he is and what he does. However, if you are in a long term relationship, and especially when you live together, there will be times when respect has to be a conscious choice, no matter how Alpha he is, there will be times when the woman feels he is being a fool, but if she chooses to respect him anyway, that feeling will be temporarily and soon she will be compelled to genuinely look up to him again. People generally should try to respect… Read more »

Viki Samoja
Viki Samoja
Reply to  Mona

The problem is, there are not enough of such men to go around, image of a strong masculine man has intentionally been smashed into pieces in the last 50 years, we have a proverb in my country “silent water brings down mountains”, even the strongest wall can be toppled if you really put your will into it. It is easy to say “just choose the one who is already good for you”, nope, not working like that, personally i can work on myself to become this kind of a man but it will not solve the underlying problem, without any… Read more »

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Viki Samoja

If a man, needs women to do things so that he becomes a man, he is NOT a man already. Do you not realize, a leader leads? He doesn’t wait ti be “let to lead” and he doesn’t wait for the person he is responsible for to do things first

Abby
Abby
Reply to  Tara Mitchell

Agree. Totally. On a large scale ( in general) I find more women doing a lot more self development/ inner work ( maybe because of many bad relationships with men?) and that many men are not prone to /do not see the need to /do any inner work or see how they function. Hence their primal instincts may always predominate? Due to this, its being suggested ( rightfully so) that we women be more soft so he feels more comfortable. Totally understand this too. Yet extremely difficult if your daughter went to Harvard and Wharton and now you ask her… Read more »

Maria
Maria

WOW!! I really needed to read this article. I’ve been in a 2 yr relationship which has turned a little ugly for the past few months. He claims I don’t respect him and constantly take away his masculinity. Your article has proven him right and I feel awful. He is a hell of a guy that I have expected more out of over time. Shame on me. I truly love him and hopefully we’ll marry one day but not if we stay on the same path we are going. I really must take a hard look and thing before speaking..… Read more »

Luke
Luke
Reply to  Maria

He’s scared that you’ll dump him. Most women do not see being the top breadwinner like men see it. Most men don’t throw their wives out for not bringing in more money or being unemployed. That’s not the way most of us are wired. A lot of women are liable to throw their man out for not having a job.

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Luke

Women throw men out that don’t have a job because men do not willingly pick up the other end of the relationship when they don’t have a job. Women do. Men would rather dominate women and have them do the work they don’t want to do. Women aren’t lazy and pleasers often. So she will look to be useful in any way. Men only want to be useful in the way they want to. So they will just simply, not work but also no really LIGHTEN the load at home. My father is retired for 10 years now . My… Read more »

Thisidiotcommentedonmystuff
Thisidiotcommentedonmystuff
Reply to  Tara Mitchell

All I see is people yelling at men while being outrageously hypocritical. If you can’t tell me that this comment is incredibly sexist, then you aren’t a feminist. People Suck. People are lazy. I’ve seen lazy fucks in both genders. “Sexism is never okay… now get that through your head you stupid man.” Maybe you just have a lazy fuckin dad who couldn’t possibly represent every single man in a family. Here’s a counter useless story for you. My dad is a disabled Marine. 7 back surgeries later, guess who still works, cleans, and cooks every weekend. Dad does. Mom… Read more »

Pam
Pam
Reply to  Maria

Yes, if you can do it, kudos to you. I am in the same position as you and over time found that he doesn’t think through decisions and i was making better decisions for our life and landed up always guiding and suggesting. Later i found he hated it. Then i tried to not speak up, but felt so foolish and not true to myself. So the key is find a balance of where i respect myself and yet see his needs. Good luck.

Will
Will

You’re gettin’ there. But, your foundation isn’t quite solid. You’re missing the vital stone that must be present. That foundational stone is that all men deserve a woman’s respect. Women must recognize that all men must be honored for a woman’s very existence and everything that she has is from men. Think about it, you owe it to men that you could write your post. Women don’t define a man. Your post says as much. Thus, if one has a Y-chromosome, then honor him for you life depends on men. When you, as a woman, think you can judge which… Read more »

Jonatan
Jonatan
Reply to  Will

man its time we accept that we all grew up in a womans womb and that actually they have xx chromosomes and we men have xy meaning that in essence we have half female essence and actually the y chromosome is a deffect. we as men want to be respected but we need to respect women first.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Jonatan

Right.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Jonatan

The y chromosome is a defect. Quit trolling.And learn some respect.he Man provides an x or a y chromosome at conception. Nothing defective about the arrangement at all.

Paul
Paul
Reply to  Will

TO Will, i think your way of thinking its kinda unnatural and full of resentment towards females. I urge you to look deep into your fears and star realising that woman are far superior that men in so many levels… The world its a mess because of war, rape, murder all things that men have comitted for centuries, fortunately we are entering into a fase where we as men are becoming real men, meaning we are not afraid of women and therefore respect them and feel inspired from them. Femininity its the future if we want this world to be… Read more »

Luke
Luke
Reply to  Paul

Ah, but Will is right in some ways. Men have created everything in society and most women take it all for granted. They only hear the same crap that you just dished out, that men are responsible for war and misery. BUT, creation is harder to do than destruction. It’s easy to destroy, but to invent the computer and cell phone, making women feel more better about socializing…? That took work. That took a lot of years to get right. If there ever was a patriarchy, not only did men pay for it in blood, but also deeds. I’m sure… Read more »

Will
Will
Reply to  Luke

Luke: I vaguely remembered something about Arthur Schopenhauer, probably from college nearly 40 years ago. Even though he was into eastern religions, he pretty much explained in his various statements Genesis 3:16 “To the woman God said…’Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'” Most people don’t know that the Hebrew word for ‘desire’ here is the same found in Genesis 4:7 where God tells Cain, “[Sin] desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” It means “to devour as in one’s prey.” Even if you don’t believe in God, still simple observation… Read more »

Joan
Joan
Reply to  Will

I certainly don’t believe in a world where men need to be eradicated and castrated. I also think its harsh to say that men aren’t taking there responsible position in the family is because of the women so the men don’t feel its worth it. Ok, for sure there are some take over women out there but that I don’t feel is the problem entirely. A lot of women living in masculine energy can be a problem for the men though. There are also a lot of men who shouldn’t be breeding (sorry my opinion)cause the women aren’t being selective… Read more »

Henry
Henry
Reply to  Will

HUMANITY WAS BRON THROUGH A VAGINA EACH OF US HAVE LIVED AND NURTURED IN A WOMAN’S WOMB. BIGOTED MEN ALWAYS FORGET THIS DISHING OUT SOME OLD RELIGION CRAP. RELIGION HAS BEEN ALWAYS THE CAUSE OF DESTRUCTION, SEPARATION, FEAR AND VIOLENCE. WOMENS NATURE IS CREATE, THATS WHY THEY MAKE BABIES IN THEIR BEAUTIFUL BODIES AND PRODUCE MILK THEY ARE THE REAL CREATORS. I FEEL HONOURED BY THE WOMAN WHO GIVES ME HER TIME AND LOVE(MY WIFE) AND ALL MEN SHOULD BE GRATEFUL WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO THEM.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Henry

Amen!

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Henry

A Mangina you be. A wimp betacuck! IMHO!

Angela
Angela
Reply to  Will

Hahahahahha wow just wow..who exactly are you trying to convince? I can assure you of one thing your rant about your “percieved greatness” didn’t do, was convince any women that they are missing out on your version of marriage or a marriage with you. Thank you for exhibit A of why women are the ones who file for divorce 75% of the time..why some of these men think their presence and company is so amazing that women just cant wait to dive right in with a man who not only sees her as a child, thinks he has the right… Read more »

Raine
Raine
Reply to  Luke

And yet women created men. Paying for it in blood and deeds.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  Paul

Um no I’m sorry my friend, you have this all wrong. Sure there is war and nastiness that goes on around the world, but we are talking about relationships here dude not what’s happening on cnn because of “men”. What men and women fail to realize is that we were meant to run side by side loving each other, not one extreme or another. A woman should not be with a man if he is no good for her or abusive in any way. As a man should not stand for a woman constantly disrespecting him or walking all over… Read more »

Jessica W
Jessica W
Reply to  Fire343

You ain’t lyin’. Too bad most people don’t think like that. When men and women battle each other, nothing is left but bitterness, hatred, disrespect, and blaming between the sexes.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Fire343

This is also true. However, it was men who held women down to begin with. Then when women try to move to their rightful position as equal…it’s called feminism.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  YB Y

For sure, I agree if men were the ones putting down these women nowadays then these women have every right to stand up for themselves. What’s very idiotic that I have a problem with is women in today’s age who have never even been oppressed that are so disrespectful and selfish and spoiled and entitled and fee like they can walk all over men and play the victim card when there are actually decent men out there who treat women great and who haven’t done anything wrong. Those little girls who think they are women need to grow up and… Read more »

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Fire343

Women who have never been oppressed?? I’m sure most women (even girls) today have experienced some form of sexism. You throw words like “common sense” around, yet you speak as if sexism (like racism) no longer exist. Which, is far from the truth. The article states that respect has to be earned. Yes, anyone should be respectful to anyone who is respectful to them. However, I’m not sure how fresh you are to the dating scene, where you are from or if you’re male or female but there are just as many (if not more) “little boys” (who think they… Read more »

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  YB Y

Sorry buddy, but you have it backwards again. There are very many women nowadays that act entitled and feel they can walk all over men and treat decent men like shit. All because of this “feminist” movement and women’s rights, not because they’ve been treated badly. Not sure what neighborhood you grew up in but you better get outside more. What people fail to realize is that we men and women were made to be equal with one another and run side by side with each other in life and enjoy it to the fullest.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Fire343

Buddy? I’m a woman. There is no such thing as the feminist movement. It’s propaganda. And you have already said men and women should work together. I agreed with that. However, you still did not address the lack of intellectual and emotional progress in males.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  YB Y

I figured you were a woman, for sure. Stop being so sensitive, it’s ok, not trying to bad mouth anyone. Just saying that the spectrum here has been tipped sideways nowadays and the very idea that women want to be equal is a great thing and that’s awesome but…now women have taken it too far and really walked all over men who are decent, hardworking and respectful who have not deserved this behavior from women. If a man is lazy, selfish, entitled, disrespectful, hurtful, and childish, absolutely he deserves an ass kicking and needs to be put in his place… Read more »

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Fire343

…and judging by your avoidence of not recognizing the role many males play in their own ” downfall”, proves my point. I am in no way sensitive (I’m the exact opposite actually) and I have never disagreed with you. So why do you keep reiterating the same points. I am trying to get you to acknowledge the role males play in them not receiving respect as well. That’s all. This is the struggle and resistance to change I was speaking of. One sentence you’re saying men and women are suppose to rule together…then you say its ok if women WANT… Read more »

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  YB Y

YES. Yes. and YES!!!!!!!! You were very clear with your point. He is trying his hardest to play dumb.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  YB Y

Oh sorry, forgot to address your lack of intellual argument. Actually men are very intellectual and emotional beings just as women are. It’s just that we differ in certain things with intelligence and emotion. Don’t believe me? Read a medical book or especially psychology and you’ll learn the interesting chemistry between both male and female. What I’m sensing here is that you’ve had some rough experiences like we all have honestly and that’s ok that’s understandable. Just don’t take it so seriously, be happy 🙂 there are decent people in this world I promise you.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Fire343

Actually your response is proving my argument. I’m done here. Nice conversing with you.

Fire343
Fire343
Reply to  YB Y

Its ok 🙂 at the end of the day just remember, winning an argument every time with decent men such as myself may make you feel better, but it will always make you alone. Realize your place in society, you must give men respect in order to be loved by them. Have a great day 🙂

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Fire343

Funny. Being right when speaking to a man will “always make you alone”? It’s unnerving how dumb you really are. You just keep proving why you don’t deserve anything. Not even respect. You admit you can’t even deal with a woman if you don’t get to FEEL RIGHT lol –even when you KNOW YOU”RE WRONG! hilarious

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Tara Mitchell

You are one bitter lady.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  YB Y

You just lost the argument!

Frank
Frank
Reply to  YB Y

No feminist movement? You are a troll!

Frank
Frank
Reply to  YB Y

Feminism is a bought and paid for ism to destroy the family. Gloria Steinem CIA. Betty Freidan Communist Party USA. It is a tool to destroy the family and the nation.

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Paul

Well said.

Sharon
Sharon
Reply to  Will

To Will, I agree 100% with what you said. It was perfection. I’m the recent widow of a retired military man (former Special Forces) who I respected unquestioningly. I stood with him thru thick and thin…addiction, PTSD, and cared for him as a C3 quadriplegic after a motorcycle accident with a drunk driver. Thru his tender (and sometimes not so tender) guidance and leadership, I thrived; my son became more confident. I came to realize that I should be respecting all men I meet in whatever situation. RIP Chris

jasmine
jasmine
Reply to  Will

I guess a man gave birth to you, right?

Raine
Raine
Reply to  Will

Why would anyone respect blindly beyond a basic level? I respect human beings in terms of courtesy, but to respect a person’s ideas, they have to be intelligent. You could abstractly respect the male form, or male energy, but to mandatorily respect all men? Even if their behavior is disrespectful? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, but that’s about it.
A high level of respect is only reserved for a high level of character.

Geraldine
Geraldine

I believe that I should always respect my man and I’ll take your advice on not to wear the pants for 3months. Thank you for this beautiful article on respect

nambuye
Reply to  Geraldine

I respect my husband, I even kneel for him and serve him or when am greeting or talking to him, I love my place as a woman, that way I feel protected and loved

Intrigued
Intrigued

Hmmm. I read your article and I think that the concept of respect is simple. If you respect yourself, then others respect you. I don’t think gender is the issue. I am definitely an alpha female and I find that most people are way too insecure. To be successful in anything, handle your business. When it comes to femininty or masculinity, you can be feminine and be alpha. Some people are just stronger and meant to lead. Most are meant to follow. I have always attracted alpha males who knew not to do some of the dumb stuff in the… Read more »

YB Y
YB Y
Reply to  Intrigued

My thoughts exactly! As an alpha female, it’s definitely a challenge.

Tara Mitchell
Tara Mitchell
Reply to  Intrigued

Most is spot on, but i think you know just because you respect yourself does NOT mean everyone else will respect you.

Holly
Holly

Well firstly I have to start off saying that the man that springs to mind is the man from terninator five that’s the human robot. He’s made up of a human but robot underneath and he’s been designed to have killer instincts. Their was a part in the film were he’d been set up to kill the humans that were set to destroy the machines and win the battle. Because the terminator is such a good person underneath, he doe’s the hero thing and destroys the killing mashincines. He basically risks and puts his own life on the line for… Read more »

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