If you don’t have a set of rules that you follow in your relationship with a man, it’s going to be very easy for that relationship to start to deteriorate or even end.
(…And the thing is, you may not even realize things are in decline.)
Why is this?
Because we all get complacent at some point. We are all creatures of habit and we will take things for granted if we get comfortable.
You might even find yourself becoming a victim to circumstances that are completely outside your control, causing a whirlwind of emotional turmoil that may even immobilise you.
At the end of the day, you need something to ground you, something to offer you certainty when the world or your relationship turns upside down.
Following a set of rules gives you a sense of standards and the framework needed to allow you to take back control of yourself and allow you to be more of an influence in your relationship and with your man.
Committing even to two simple rules daily can help you stop ‘reacting’, which is what often happens when you’re always just going along with the flow with no self-guidance and standards for yourself.
…And so instead of ‘reacting’, you can instead start responding intelligently. You’ll realise that you can actually avoid nasty conflicts that make things worse and avoid the pain that most people end up experiencing in their intimate relationship.
These 5 rules I’m about to show you will remind you of what is important, when things are hard.
When you’re ‘in it’ (when you’re hooked in a relationship problem), it’s easy to get all muddled in your emotions and just lash out or do something to jeopardize the relationship that you will regret later.
These are the 5 MUST-FOLLOW rules for dating and relationships
So, if ever you come across a problem or conflict in your intimate relationship or in your dating life, always refer back to these rules.
If you make at least 2 of these rules a MUST to follow, I promise you will feel far more confident in your relationship. You won’t worry about other women interfering in your relationship, or what other people think, purely because you will start to develop a strong inner confidence.
Remember to follow at least two of these rules daily. If you put at least 2 of these to practice consistently, you will start to see changes in your relationship.
If you are single or just dating, these rules will allow you to be ahead of other women when it comes to the dating world. Follow these rules in your interactions with men!
Follow the rules & worry less.
You’ll spend less time worrying over why he didn’t call, whether he likes you or not, or why he seems to say one thing and do another.
…And you’ll be so confident that you won’t worry about whether you’ll ever find the one.
You’ll be confident enough to know that you WILL find the right one, because you’ll start to really know and feel your value and power as a woman, no matter how difficult things are at any time.
If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, I promise you will see your relationship improve right before your eyes if you just implemented two of these rules daily. You’ll start to feel more love from your man, and more safe and protected in your relationship. He won’t be able to help it!
If you truly commit to at least two of these rules, over time, you’ll also feel him becoming more generous towards you, too.
Remember: you don’t want to just ‘go with the flow’ all the time, and just ‘react’ to things. So right now, I want you to pick TWO of these rules to follow DAILY.
Don’t forget to tell me below, in the comments section, which two rules you are going to begin following!
Relationship Rule 1: Don’t Ever settle.
Always strive to deepen your relationship with your man. Here’s what happens if you settle for whatever seems ‘enough’ for now, if you settle for what is ‘comfortable’ –
(ie. just to maintain the status quo in your relationship.)
Things actually go backwards!
It’s like money – if you don’t invest, you actually lose money. Inflation will eat away at the value of your money!
You are always either growing or dying. Your relationship is always growing or it’s dying.
You always have to be bringing more fun, more intimacy, more sensuality, more care, more love and more value to the relationship, otherwise problems will occur, even if you’re doing nothing to cause them.
See, you don’t have to do ANYTHING AT ALL for problems to occur. We have all experienced this. You can leave things as they are, and problems will surface. But just to MAINTAIN the connection and attraction in your relationship, you can’t settle.
Even maintenance takes a bit of work.
Think about this in terms of your physical body. If you have a fit and toned body, but you keep doing the same exercise routine over and over (Ie. the same kinds of exercises and the same intensity etc) your fitness does not stay the same– it slowly slides backwards.
Your relationship with a man is either getting deeper or it is sliding backwards.
So, don’t settle.
Because, right now, your relationship is as intimate as it SHOULD be, not as intimate as it MUST be.
Relationship Rule 2: Always look at things from the other person’s point of view.
In other words, continually put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
A lot of us think that other people see the world the way we do. And even if you think you don’t so this, you might be doing it without even knowing. It takes work to really see things from another’s perspective.
But if you can do this even to a small extent, you’ll begin to feel that whatever situation you are in with a man.
…And over time, you’ll notice that your man will become more attentive to you and more generous towards you. All because you’re giving him an incredible gift!
The gift of seeing his masculine perspective.
(A gift that most people would never be able to give him.)
To do this, check in with yourself regularly – every time you start to feel some sort of disappointment in your relationship, stop and ask:
“If I was him, what might my perspective be?”
“If I was a man in his position right now, what might I be focusing on?”
“Wait a minute – is there a REASON why he may be doing this? Hell, isn’t there always a reason anyone is doing ANYTHING? Of course there is!”
Remember back to a time when you did something (completely innocently) that you thought was totally normal and totally acceptable, but a man took it the wrong way.
Remember back to a time when you did something awful, or said something harsh, or treated a man badly…
…There was a reason, right?
It may not have been a really GOOD reason, and in hindsight you probably wouldn’t want to do that again, but there was a reason nonetheless.
Understanding the masculine perspective
Once you truly understand things from his masculine perspective, trust me – you won’t even know what hit you.
This is a very powerful place for you to be in, as a woman. Especially knowing that most women don’t even half do this most of the time!
If you practice this rule, you won’t be acting from a place of greed or insecurity.
You’ll naturally and automatically be more confident and attractive within yourself, because you will know deep down inside you have more value to offer men than other women.
This this exactly why my wonderful husband and I have put together our most popular course Understanding Men. (You can learn more about this course by CLICKING here.)
The purpose of this course is to help you discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment”
Relationship Rule 3: Strive to eliminate insecurity within yourself.
Insecurity and relationships don’t go together.
So do whatever it takes to strip away your masks, get back to your authentic self, and STOP operating from a place of insecurity. I don’t care how much passion you have with a man at the beginning – I don’t care how much excitement there is or how much he loves you – insecurities will destroy your relationship.
Remember that saying, ‘love isn’t enough’? well, it’s true.
Now, to clarify – I am not saying you can’t feel insecure at times. It’s in our nature to have fears. We all fear that we are not enough.
Don’t beat yourself up if you have insecurities – that is just going to make it worse, and you’ll just get even more insecure. Instead, ask yourself:
“What would I do if I was totally confident right now?”
And if that doesn’t work, ask yourself:
“What would I do if I was confident and DID know what to do?”
Relationship Rule 4: Always give to yourself first.
Fill yourself up with what you really need, before you even considering giving to a man. You cannot give to him unless you have given to yourself first.
So start giving to yourself – no, this doesn’t mean buying gobs of make up and shopping til you have no money left (although that’s totally fine).
However, first and foremost, giving to yourself means:
You do the things that make you smile from ear to ear, even if it’s naughty, or seemingly selfish.
You do the things that make you feel like a woman.
You eat clean.
You cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you already have, no matter how bad things are.
If you don’t believe that your weight, and your diet will affect you personally, and effects how much of a quality wife or girlfriend you are to your man – you’re really, really misinformed. Your health and your vitality is everything.
Your health and vitality is everything!
Health and vitality.
Why? Because what you choose to put in to your body, and what you choose to focus on (ie: gratitude or no gratitude) affects your emotional states. And this in turn, affects what you bring to the table in your relationship. If you’re unhappy or angry all the time, you’re going to be a terrible lover.
Relationship Rule 5: Any decision made from fear is the wrong decision.
Please read, and re-read this one, because this is one of those things that you will do, and not even notice yourself doing it. And the longer you go without taking notice of this and doing something about it, the worse it gets.
Any decision made form fear is the wrong decision in your relationship with a man. We don’t realize it, but most of us are making most of our decisions from fear on a consistent basis- ESPECIALLY in our intimate relationship.
Because in an intimate relationship, all our fears surface – more than in any other place in our lives.
Because we all know subconsciously, on some level, that we really have no control over a man in an intimate relationship (nor do you want an control over a man!)
I know this feels scary, of course it does! You can at best influence him, but you have no absolute control.
You cannot control a man or a relationship.
In other words, your sense of certainty needs to not come from control but your ability to add value to your man and your relationship.
No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control someone else or control a relationship with them. So it’s wise to relax into that uncertainty.
It is this uncertainty that also makes an intimate relationship passionate, and makes us feel so alive.
Fear is your worst enemy if you want a loving relationship where the spark actually lasts more than a year.
This is counter-intuitive.
However, and that’s why you really need to learn what is counter-intuitive to reach that place of lasting bliss, love and passion with a man.
To get to that place where you feel so safe and protected in the relationship, and to a place where you’re adored and the center of his world, you need to understand and practice what is counter-intuitive.
That’s why my man and I created our monthly subscription program, Attraction Control Monthly.
If you want to succeed in having the kind of relationship other people envy, join us. It costs you practically nothing to just try it out, and you get to learn the 17 most potent Attraction Triggers that are guaranteed to get any man’s blood boiling.
Here is your action plan to adopt these rules for yourself…
Here’s your action plan to put these rules in to action so you can start creating the relationship that makes you feel overjoyed, in love, secure and fulfilled:
- Choose TWO of these rules right now that you are going to put in to practice.
- Set aside a time each day – ideally in the morning – to remind yourself of these 2 rules, and remind yourself of your commitment to these rules. Print them out or write them down where you can see them.
- Before you ‘react’ to ANY painful situation in dating or in a relationship with a man, STOP. Actively remind yourself of these rules and most importantly – remind yourself of WHY you are following them. It’s not just for the SAKE of following rules like you did at school. School rules are rules most of us hate because it’s just a bunch of people telling you what to do for their own gain. But you are following these rules because you KNOW they will get you closer to the relationship that you truly desire in your heart, with the right man, your soul mate. And following these rules will make you a better catch – the kind of woman men want to give to.
RIGHT NOW: write down two of these rules – in your diary, above your desk – or even make this page your homepage. Put them where you can see them. Put them in your calendar to follow for the next 30 days. Put these rules in to action the next time you have a conflict or problem with your man.
So go ahead, choose 2 of these rules to follow right now. Follow these two rules DAILY from now on.
And let me know in the comments section below, which are your favorite rules, and which two you will put in to practice right away.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.