Here’s how to tell what a guy wants from you:
- You stall him in the process of coming on strong; and
- You take the time to get good at the skill of knowing whether he’s serious about you or not.
We will talk more about these two steps shortly, but there’s something else important that I want you to understand first.
Here’s Something To Remember About Men (That They Won’t EVER Tell You)
As a woman, the most important thing for you to understand about confident masculine men and dating, is that they will often come on strong to you (in the beginning).
Yet it doesn’t mean that they love you, or that they’re serious about you.
Hard truth to swallow, but it’s a good pill to swallow.
This is the bottom line:
Just because they come on strong doesn’t mean they’re serious about you, and it doesn’t always mean that they truly like you.
And it is exactly when they come on strong that you start to lose your intuitive power of knowing how to figure out what a guy wants from you.
You would think that it is when men are weaker and more wishy washy that you are thrown off course.
Yet, men coming on strong is one of THE big reasons you get swept off your feet, and get caught up in being used by a guy.
But it is also one of the biggest reasons that women can fall in love with the guy and become invested!
Many women know that something might be a little off with a guy, but because the guy is coming on so strong, and his “game” is so powerful, they lose themselves and their power in the process.
In fact, it is because men come on strong that you as a woman can start to get confused, start to doubt yourself, and lose trust in your ability to read a man.
If you let his bias of coming on strong completely sweep you off your feet, I’m sure that feels lovely, but there is a chance he may leave you and was never serious about you.
So honestly, you asking the question “how do you figure out what a guy wants from you” is a smart move. Because a lot of women would ignore their own internal alarm blaring at them, demanding them to figure it out.
(You can also call that cognitive dissonance.)
Instead, they may just go along with whatever the guy seems to want without ever sitting in her own power and intuitive intelligence.
What About When He Pulls Away?
Of course, after a guy comes on strong, then he can start to pull away or even go hot and cold, leaving you in the dark.
Most of the time, when a man pulls away or goes hot and cold, it makes sense that you become unsure of his intentions with you.
However, what is less talked about is the confusion that it can cause inside of you as a woman when he comes on strong!
Over millennia, men have developed this behaviour of coming on strong to women.
Sure, not every man comes on strong. Some men are more shy and reserved.
Yet, this type of shy guy tends to just make you sit and analyse from a distance.
Because he’s too shy to court you, he isn’t over-powering to the point where you lose your own intuitive power so much that you easily get used by him.
A shy guy in the distance doesn’t make you feel as though you need to erect boundaries.
Nor do you need to stall him in the process of coming on strong.
The reason why men coming on strong confuses you is because men come on strong when they are serious about you, and they come on strong when they are not serious about you!
Here’s an article I wrote on how to tell if a guy is serious about you or not.
How Do Guys Come On Strong?
In online dating, it looks like this:
An innocent conversation suddenly takes a sharp turn into “sexy land”. I’m sure you’ve been there (every woman has).
Some men are super forward with their sexual suggestions, whilst some men are subtle about it and perhaps wait 10 minutes into the conversation.
Some men straight up ask you to “come over for netflix and chill”, whilst others may test the waters with “colourful” innuendos.
In person, he may love bomb you (which is one of the dating red flags that all women routinely fall for).
Or he may outwardly try to jump the gun in the physical department with too much physical touch.
How To Tell What Guy Wants From You: Become A Metaphorical Dancer
This is the first step of knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you:
You stall him, or you hinder him in coming on strong by slowing things right down in a high value way.
How do you slow things right down? You become a metaphorical dancer.
I want you to dance with a man’s energy and intent first. If he doesn’t dance back, you can then discard him.
If he does play along, then that’s where the real magic starts.
Because the other truth here is that the only types of men who outwardly just “want” a relationship are either liars or low value men who have no other options.
You would never pick them anyway, so don’t even bother…
(To be fair, of course there are decent relationship-oriented men out there WANTING the right woman for them. They just wouldn’t “advertise” that they’re after a long term relationship, as if they know what women would like to hear…does that make sense?)
How To Know If A Guy Wants A Serious Relationship Or Just A Fling
Knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you is about sifting through all the sexual stuff as well as the empty verbal promises.
So here’s my suggestion for you whenever a man comes on too strong with his sexual suggestions early in a conversation.
(By the way, these lines are courtesy of my husband D.Shen, the creator of the program High Value Profile and Banter”).
Use D.Shen’s “male gigolo routine”:
The male gigolo routine is a very clever way to but a man on his metaphorical back foot, and stay in your own power. Here it is: you can say something along the lines of…
“Hold on, Romeo. I don’t remember asking for an extra spicy conversation…”
…”Wait, let me guess. You’re actually a male gigolo named Romeo looking for clients here! Of course, why didn’t I think of that before?!”
“How’s business? I’m sure there are plenty of desperate and lonely women needing your services… hahaha!”
“I’m curious, do you take on like… really old clients like 60s+?”
“I’ve got a friend who probably needs some help. How much is your “love deep” all inclusive package?”
This is exactly how you metaphorically dance with the man’s energy.
You may think this is too playful or innocent to really figure out what a man wants from you, but it is this metaphorical dance that will allow you to test how much he really cares about connecting with you.
And that’s what you want, yes?
You want to test how much he’s willing to engage and connect with you, otherwise you would never know his relationship potential nor his true intent.
How do You Know If A Guy Is Just Using You?
This metaphorical dance allows you to know if a guy is just using you or not.
How does it do that?
Well, it lets you throw him off his “game”. (And almost all men have some kind of “game”. They all develop a specific way to try to win with women.)
By throwing him off his game, you take a strong position in the conversation by doing it on YOUR TERMS. (As the strong woman that you are).
Personally I love the “male gigolo routine” because it really diffuses the awkward tension that arises when men push for sex so early in the interaction.
Of course, if the man doesn’t actually play along with you and your playful banter, then that becomes an absolute red flag.
It’s a red flag because he’s not in this to connect with you, but to take whatever he can get for his own satisfaction ONLY.
(In other words, he’s just using you and/or just wants a hook up).
This usually means that he doesn’t have good intent and doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Step 2: Get Good At The Skill Of Knowing Whether He’s Serious About You Or Not.
This is where step 2 comes into it. You have to know that in their default state, most men don’t outwardly just look for a relationship.
If they do say that to you, you’re going to have to be smart and attuned to whether he’s just saying it to get into your pants, or whether he’s a genuine guy.
So take the time to get good at the skill of knowing whether he’s serious about you or not.
See, no one can do the hard work of figuring out what a guy wants from you, FOR you.
I can hold your hand and encourage you in the right direction, as I have done today.
But ultimately, the judgement call on what a man wants from you, is something you have to take responsibility for yourself.
On top of that, you need to get good at the skill of feeling into your gut and letting it tell you when he’s in it for himself only.
The trouble is that most of us have been conditioned our whole lives through media, the schooling system, through having to fit in, as well as survive in our 9-5, to ignore our intuition.
I’ve given you some good strategies here. And it’s important that you try them out, so that you can eliminate the wrong men.
Go ahead and use some of the male gigolo routine, in person or over text message.
If you do try that routine out and he doesn’t even bother with you being so playful, then he’s not worth any more of your time.
But if he does play along, this means that there’s a lot more room to develop the conversation into something deeper, and you may find that this kind of guy is actually serious about getting to know you.
If he’s serious about getting to know you, then you may be able to develop an emotional connection and relationship with him.
The Nigerian Scammer Routine And The Ted Bundy Routine.
If you liked this routine, then you’d love to learn our other 2 amazing routines, the Nigerian Scammer routine and the Ted Bundy routine.
These routines are designed for you to instantly overcome the common “online dating” awkwardness that hinders the conversation momentum.
They also help you weed out the men who aren’t serious about connecting with you at the speed of lighting!
You can learn all the minute details of these 3 routines as well as so much more in our program, “High Value Profile & Banter”.
CLICK here to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of “High Value Banter” in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”! (…Even if no man has ever given you any love and all you’ve encountered so far are pen pals, ghosts, booty calls, and incredible duds!)
Don’t know what the dark feminine art of “High Value Banter” is? CLICK to find out.
I hope you enjoyed my article today. Any questions or comments, just leave them below!
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.