Is He Serious About You or Just “Interested”? Critical Distinction.

Is he just “interested” or is he serious about you?

Is he serious about me? This is a high quality question.

When we ask high quality questions, we can get better answers.

There is a big difference between when a man is just interested in you, VERSUS when he’s serious about you.

To know the difference is absolutely important for you as a woman, and here is why:

A man could be interested in you for so many different reasons. Many of those reasons could be for his own gain. And if so, a man’s interest is kind of cheap.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

“Interest” can disappear overnight!

Due to this fact, the interest that he may initially show you can often disappear overnight as well.

So interest isn’t actually what we want as women, no matter how good it feels to be desired.

Being desired and being cherished are two very different things. As a woman, you’d much rather the latter. It is worth more to you in the long run.

Interests fades, and can jump to the next attractive woman.

A man cherishing you is something different entirely. A man who is in love with you and who is forming a deep pair bond with you, is where the juice really is.

If you want to find out whether he genuinely likes you (and is not just stringing you along), I recommend you read my article on How To Tell If A Guy Likes You: 6 Signs & 1 Test.

You don’t want a whole bunch of casual interest. Rather, you want what is called focused attention on you and only you.

It’s not too much to ask, and it’s not a fantasy. Just ask any woman who has had a man fall head over heels in love with her (and consequently, devote his entire life to only her!)

is he serious about me

As a feminine soul, we want to be cherished

We women who are feminine in our soul, we want more than that, right?

We are built to want more. Because having that deeper commitment and investment has been absolutely essential to the survival of our offspring as well as our species as a whole.

Here’s what I suggest to a lot of women…Rather than asking yourself is he interested in me? Ask yourself:

“Is he serious about me?” 

If he’s truly serious about you, then you will start to see that he spends his time, energy, attention and resources on you when he DOESN’T have to.

That’s the difference.

In other words, he’s not trying to give to you so that he could gain something from you. He gives to you because he wants to.

What actions would he take if he was serious about you?


  • He may call you when he doesn’t have to.
  • He may want to hear all about your day rather than talk about his own.
  • He may buy you things without you ever expecting him to.

These are just a few signs that he’s serious about you. But to really know it for sure, don’t just look for the signs. Feel it in your body.

Get good at acknowledging those instinctive feelings that come up in your body, before your mind has the time to over analyse everything and even talk you out of your intuitive feelings.

See, our biggest gift as women is our ability to be sensitive to people, to vibrations and even to the ebb and flow of the universe.

Men don’t have this gift. They’re naturally not as sensitive (unless they need to be for a mission).

This is why women’s skin is 10 times more sensitive than a man’s skin. We are designed to feel and be sensitive to feelings.

On that note, do you know what the 2 Critical elements of any intimate relationships are and how they make or break your love life? Find out here!

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Your sensitivity is your path to learning the truth about his intent

Here’s something interesting. I practice a pretty rough and traditionally masculine sport called Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. (It’s fighting).

In practice, it’s mostly wrestling on the ground and there are some nasty submissions involved in this sport such as chokes, wrist locks and arm bars. I know, sounds wonderful, right?

But here’s what’s interesting:

When I practice wrestling and grappling with my husband David, a movement that makes me feel like my skin is being burned and torn off wouldn’t even make him bat an eyelash.

I was shocked when I learned this. I couldn’t believe that he literally didn’t feel the pain the way I did in this contact sport.

When he told me that he didn’t feel the pain even in the slightest, I thought that can’t be right. Surely?

As it turns out, it’s true. Whilst I feel like a simple rub of skin on skin is burning me, he feels nothing at all if the same thing were happening to him.

And getting back to the point. Your ability to stay sensitive will give you all the clues as to how serious your man is about you. All the clues!

You may just have to practice feeling your gut intuition a bit more.

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

Is he serious about me? If he is, he’ll see you as THIS type of woman…

Now if you want your chosen man to become MORE serious about you, the most important thing you have to understand is that you need to become what I call his one and only type of woman.

By the way, there are exactly 7 Signs that a woman is perceived as low value to men. Do you know what they are? (and how to avoid them like the plague?!) Find out here.

Inside every man’s mind, there are two types of women

You see, inside of every man’s instinctive mind, there are two types of women.

There’s the one and only basket and there’s the one of many basket. How he categorises you depends entirely on how you show up in his life.

The more you are able to show up in a way that inspires him to put you in his one and only basket, the more serious he is going to be about you in the long term.

And here’s the good news about this. You as a woman have everything it takes to inspire your man’s deepest commitment and make him want you, and only you.

It just requires you to understand the distinction between what it means to be a man’s one and only type of woman, and his one of many type of woman.

In order for you to have and experience that deeply committed relationship that us as feminine women all crave, you need to understand what it takes to become your man’s one and only.

That is where all of your answers lie.

The distinction between him being serious about you Vs being interested

Because here’s the inconvenient truth: a man will give you all of his time, attention, emotional energy and resources when you become his one and only type of woman.

Yet, he will give you virtually nothing when he sees you as his one of many.

When I say virtually nothing, I mean he’ll do the absolute bare minimum just to keep you around.

(Find out more about why he keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship.)

When I say that he’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around, that means that he’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around as a resource in his life, but never anything more.

See, that’s nothing like the love, adoration and the commitment that women receive when they’ve become their man’s one and only.

So as you can imagine, there’s nothing quite as important for you as a feminine woman to understand the process behind being your chosen man’s one and only.

This is why I’ve put together a very special program titled, “Becoming His One and Only”. Inside this program, I will teach you in detail the 5 secrets to having your chosen man fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.

By the way, I love hearing from you. My blog is the place where I always read comments. So do let me know if this post helped you and if you have any thoughts of your own to share. We can learn from each other.

renee wade

P.S. Connect with me on social media

Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link

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My struggle? My intuition telling me he is genuine and serious about me. Then within a mil of a second my thoughts and brain taking over, questionning everything and especially his intentions. My gut tells me this is right! Then after reading all of the dating coaches, friends advise … that’s the point I start questionning my gut! Fear kicks in! Again my gut told me he was serious, my brain and all the advised out there create fear, the fear of what if? And there starts the point of a downwards spiral. Hasn’t knowledge killed our ability to trust… Read more »


Is it possible for a man to consider you his one and only, but after a few dates keep you at a distance because he is not ready for a relationship anytime soon? Or does that just mean he is not interested? He just came out of a relationship and has a lot going on personally (a new job, buying a house) and told me honestly he is not looking for a relationship right now, but we connected really well emotionally and intellectually, he told me I was gorgeous and he put a lot of effort into the dates (which… Read more »


looking back it makes sense now.
I feel really stupid. I wish I had this information years ago. Would have saved me a lot of heartache.


examples of giving when he dosnt have to please


However I don’t think being in an exclusive relationship with a woman means that he’s really into her. Many times it’s because of benefits. If the woman if harmless enough, the man doesn’t mind keeping her in the corner while his eyes wander.


Hi Renee, your articles are a godsend. Learning sooo much from you. Just to clarify when you say -“If he’s truly serious about you, then you will start to see that he spends his time, energy, attention and resources on you when he DOESN’T have “. I’m a bit confused. Do you mean as in he calls you when he doesn’t need to, gives you lifts ,gives you emotional support, pays the househild bills,etc. Is that the sort of thing you are referring to? I’m simply asking because if you are in a long term relationship, I’m assuming he already… Read more »

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