First and foremost, being a feminine woman requires an enormous amount of strength. In a society where the traditional roles of a woman and things like focusing on motherhood are no longer as respected (at least in comparison to the ‘career woman’s achievements and ambitions), it can sometimes feel almost impossible to just relax and not feel the need to conform to modern ideals, and to compete to get to the top of the corporate world or workforce.

Every now and then I get an email asking me about femininity and how to be feminine whilst wanting to chase masculine ambitions. Sometimes I’ll get a woman telling me that my writing is an insult to women all over the world.

Well, let me say that I believe passionately in women’s rights. I believe in human rights. I believe in rights in general. I would never promote something that is an insult to women, or something that marginalizes women. Whilst I love that women have much more freedom now than they used to, and can work as well as provide for their children alone if they have to, I do not believe a woman’s worth should be judged by her “achievements” at university, school, in the workplace, in sports or her physical looks. The real worth of a woman is much more than all of these things put together.

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Ironically, a strong woman is not what society tells us it is. No woman is a strong woman because she got a degree. No woman is a strong woman because she got promoted. No woman is a strong woman because of her intellect. No woman is a strong woman because she can do something just as well as a man can or even better than them. No woman is strong because she’s an athlete. No woman is strong because she can lift heavy weights at the gym, or run fast (although I used to think so).

True strength lies in her ability to embrace her feminine core, and whilst she may be a high achiever, and whilst she may be very intelligent – her real strength is in her true femininity. And in her character.

Can she care for others? Can she care not only when it’s easy, but when it’s hard? Can she truly feel, rather than hide her feelings? Can she tell the truth, and influence people for the better? Can she influence without aggression? Can she influence without ego? Can she give without expecting anything back? Can she accept a man, without trying to change him?

Whilst I have nothing against women working or playing sports; all I’m saying is that this is not how a woman’s worth ought to be measured.

In looking for a message that sums up the strength of a woman simply, I came across the above picture. And I’d like to just reiterate what it says:

A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.

Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.

A strong woman is both soft and powerful.

She is both Practical and Spiritual.

A strong woman in her essence is a gift to all the world.

It’s important that women spend time giving and enriching their relationships.

We’re not always taught, in the “education” system, how to be great mothers, how to be great friends, great daughters, great girlfriends, great wives – great people! We’re mainly taught how to do that equation, or how to write the best essay. Or how to be the ‘best’ at something. We’re lead to focus on our own lives and achievements.

(Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

By all means, yes, we are taught to be ‘good people’ to the extent that we are encouraged to contribute to society and be philanthropists. We’re also taught to be nice. But nice is not enough. It has to be accompanied with true care.

But, how can a woman ever truly understand the pain and suffering of others, and truly give to others, if she’s not encouraged to feel her own pain and suffering? How can a woman develop compassion, relate to other human beings, revel in her femininity and live in her feminine core if everything is about getting the next thing done and getting the next thing done?

And then we go on to enter the work force – and whilst I think this is fantastic; that it’s great how women have so many opportunities – what about respecting what a truly feminine woman can give from her heart? What about respecting her worth simply as a woman? Simply through her ability to love, and to feel?

There needs to be a balance! A balance between the masculine and feminine energy inside of a woman. (read my article about why being one dimensional will cost you)

For a lot of women, our complexities (something that is at the heart of the feminine energy) are conditioned out of us, and we become like zombies – not really happy, and not really ‘alive’ and radiant like a woman truly should be – but not necessarily unhappy enough to do something about it.

How often have you been walking down the street, or sitting on the train, and people look like they’re machines? It’s particularly sad to see women like this. Personally, I’d rather meet a woman who hates me than to meet a woman who is bland and dead inside. I like to see some kind of emotion; something human. Something womanly.

Unfortunately, it’s very common to come across women who are more like robots.

I believe a strong woman should never be content with content. Women are a symbol of beauty; of femininity – and we ought to live enriching lives and bring LIFE, energy, love and hope wherever we go.

And, I believe that there needs to be more manly men, more masculine men to respect and love her for the contrast she brings to him; and for the many ways in which she completes him!

There are 17 Attraction Triggers. Click here to know more about these attraction triggers.

What is a strong woman to you?


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  • ladyd

    I am so thrilled that I happened upon this blog. It is awesome! I reconnected with a friend that I had 25 years ago, we went our separate ways and we reconnected 2 years ago. This relationship with him is teaching me so much about my femininity and allowing it to flow. For some reason I notice that I am more emotional and I cry and what’s even more amazing to me is, I don’t care if he sees me crying and I don’t feel weak or stupid for doing so either.
    I am allowing myself to just be with him and not block nor hide my vulnerability nor feel the need”DO” everything either.

  • frankie

    I love all your articles 🙂 Thank you. I used to be sooooooooooooooooooooo afraid but am learning to let go and not have fear. It’s getting easier and then I read articles like these 🙂 x x

  • alicia

    thanks renee it is hard to be a woman sometimes to feel safe and valued, thank you for your voice. I feel as a woman I do want love underneath but sometimes have been taught the wrong way to get it – really it means taking a risk that someone will take care of me (in their masculine way and I don’t have to) and that I too have something to give (in my won feminine way). Still trying to digest that, it’s so beautiful and at the same time has been hard given my childhood especially. Thank you for providing a voice on this as reading someone else articulate what I feel makes me feel like I am not alone. I want the strength to support myself even if I were the only women that felt this way and own it without shame – and acknowledge the vulnerability which makes that hard xxx

  • Hi Renee,

    This is the the best blog ever! Yes you are right. There are women that I personally know that what they seek are achievements that won’t make them accept their femininity. There are lots of women who thinks sexy body is femininity itself but don’t have the heart of a good, true feminine women. What’s more, there are women that don’t do make ups or dress properly like a woman should because they are embarrass to show their womanhood. Too many of them, and that’s why there is this so called GENDER CONFUSION.

  • Holly

    Aww, this is lovely :-), it felt emotional to read and I would say that I feel that some of the work on here has helped as much as it can, into permitting myself to feel emotion and open up/be more true to myself as a person.

    Sadly I would say that I’m a little confused within myself, I’m not even sure what to expect of a man’s behaviour or my behaviour for that matter.

    When I say that, what I mean is that I would guess that I’ve been attracked to men more in touch with their feminine sides. This is possibility due to a poor child hood up bringing were I precieved a masculine man (my dad) as unsafe and lacking in emotion.

    It’s as if I’ve grown up with the mental attitude that I must protect and provide for myself , that I would be ridiculed for expressing my emotions, so I trained myself to pretend not to care when people bullied me in the past, not to ask for anything in return , to put anyone out or offend anyone for that matter.

    Sadly my experience in earth has been very painful as I’m hyper sensitive anyway and I’ve felt indiffirent to human nature.

    Well that really should come as no suprice considering I’ve literaly trained myself up to be a self coping , none expressing of emotion human being, that accomodates to every body else’s needs before my own.

    This is the reason why I don’t have friends to spend time with, have been walked and treated disrespectfuly my whole life time.

    • Holly

      And now :-), life brought me the experience to recieve psychological help, life brought me to this point in my life and helped me find the feminine women blog, which I consider two great gifts from the universe :-).

      I must say that I’m so happy with the psychological help that I’ve recieved. The psychologist has saved me from myself and set me free as a person. The feminine women blog is guiding me in the right direction so I’m truly greatfull for that too 🙂

      I simply couldn’t imagine my life without the feminine women blog.

      Well, I was with the farther of my child from 17-24. He is an affectionate man that is good at expressing emotion ect but I left with my daughter 9 weeks after she was born due to the fact he was controlling and the relationship was toxic.

      I’m now 27 and by choice I have been single ever since and will remain on my own until I find what I’m looking for and become a better women to find real love.

      I met up with a man recently as I think it’s a good idea to meet new people to gain insight and experience .

      Well I shall not be meeting with him again as it was a strange experience.

      When I met up with him, he brought my drink, even though I took my own money. The strange thing was that he said “don’t get use to it”, in a humorus way. It was strange because I hadn’t desired weather I would see him again, but that was an indicator

      • Holly

        That he planned to see me on a regular basis.

        He also commented on my quite smoking (now 18 months and permant)that it was early days and would start again if I would be spending time with him. He said he was concerned about telling me about his holiday that he planned to go abroad and when I asked him why he said something about me wanting to go on the holiday with him!?!?

        THe text me the next day and said after a few text messages that he missed me. I told him that he was way to forward and felt scared by his behaviour.

        I shall not be having contact from him again but it was a good learning experience, at least now I will allow a man to buy my drink without feeling guilty . Even though I would always plan to take my own money places it was nice to not be so accomodating.

        Also, I know that I need to create a clearer picture of the type of man I would like to find.

        I’ve also met needy men in the time I’ve been single so that’s an indicator of an unhealthy aspect within myself.

        I’m now working past that and have made a consiouse decision not to focus my attention on a man like that.

  • Nair Diniz De Moura

    I like what you are writing but is this relating to European culture specifically or for all woman’s all over the world?

  • Aquila Burdeos M.

    HELLO ATE!!!! how are you? i really like the content of your output its so awesome….its been a long time since my last message to you last year…

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