The Real Definition of A Strong Woman

First and foremost, being a feminine woman requires an enormous amount of strength.

In a society where the traditional roles of a woman and things like focusing on motherhood are no longer as respected (at least in comparison to the career woman’s achievements and ambitions), it can feel impossible to just relax and not need to conform to modern ideals.

Ideals such as competing with men in their masculine domain, just to get to the top of the corporate world or workforce.

Every now and then I get an email asking me about femininity and how to be feminine whilst wanting to chase masculine ambitions.

Read: How Masculine Jobs Can Affect A Woman’s Beauty And Feminine Energy.

Sometimes I’ll get a woman telling me that my writing is an insult to women all over the world.

Well, let me say that I believe passionately in women’s rights. I believe in human rights.

I believe in rights in general (even though, post pandemic 2020, we really have to question whether any of us actually have rights in practice. Or are rights just an illusion?)

I would never promote something that is an insult to women, or something that marginalizes women.

I love that women have much more freedom now than they used to, and can work as well as provide for their children alone if they have to.

Despite that, I do not believe a woman’s worth should be judged by her “achievements” at university, school, in the workplace, in sports or her physical looks.

The real worth of a woman is much more than all of these things put together.

(And if you think I must be bias, just know that I have earned a Law degree as well as an arts degree myself!)

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

A Strong Woman Is Not What Society Tells Us It Is

Ironically, a strong woman is not what society tells us it is.

No woman is a strong woman because she got a degree. No woman is a strong woman because she got promoted. No woman is a strong woman because of her intellect.

No woman is a strong woman because she can do something just as well as a man can or even better than them.

No woman is strong because she’s an athlete. No woman is strong because she can lift heavy weights at the gym, or run fast (although I used to think so).

In today’s world, true strength lies in her ability to embrace her feminine core.

Yet, whilst she may be a high achiever, and whilst she may be very intelligent – her real strength is in her true femininity, and in her character.

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Are You A Strong Woman? Answer These Questions To See If You Are

A woman’s real strength is in her vulnerability (her ability to say yes to intimacy and be at one with the changing nature of life).

  • Can she care for others? Can she care not only when it’s easy, but when it’s hard?
  • Can she truly feel, rather than hide her feelings?
  • Can she tell the truth, and influence people for the better? Can she influence without aggression? Can she influence without ego?
  • Can she give without expecting anything back? Can she accept a man, and love his soul (shortcomings included) without trying to change him?

Whilst I have nothing against women working or playing sports (I train jiu jitsu and go to the gym regularly myself!)

All I’m saying is that this is not how a woman’s worth ought to be measured.

Here’s a video I made that teaches you how to be vulnerable (with examples)…

In looking for a message that sums up the strength of a woman simply, I found these precious words:

A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.

Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.

A strong woman is both soft and powerful.

She is both Practical and Spiritual.

A strong woman in her essence is a gift to all the world.

It’s important that women spend time giving and enriching their relationships.

Women Are Taught To Compete To Be Worthy

….But being worthy is not the same as being truly strong.

To be strong, you can’t be fighting to be worthy. Instead you have to live in your knowing that you were born worthy!

Yes, we all need to learn about how to be a woman of value in the lives of those we love.

But this is not the same as worthiness; we are all born worthy! No matter how much we achieve or not not achieve.

Read also: Doing More Is Not The Hallmark Of A Good Woman.

We’re not always taught, in the “education” system, how to be great mothers, how to be great friends, great daughters, great girlfriends, great wives or great people!

We’re mainly taught how to do that equation, or how to write the best essay. Or how to be the ‘best’ at something. We’re led to focus on our own lives and achievements.

By all means, yes, we are taught to be ‘good people’ to the extent that we are encouraged to contribute to society and be philanthropists.

We’re also taught to be nice. But nice is not enough. It has to be accompanied with true care, and your willingness to truly invest in the people that you love.

Women Are Strong When They Are Able Be On The Same Emotional Page As Others

But, how can a woman ever be on the same emotional page as others, if we as a society encourage women to be worthy through achievement?

Being on the same emotional page, (or resonating with others and feeling the pain of others), is true strength.

But to have this strength, to truly understand the pain and suffering of others, and truly give to others, she has to be encouraged to feel and be a woman!

How can she do that if society as a whole ensures that women are not encouraged to feel their own pain and suffering?

How can a woman develop compassion, relate to other human beings, and live in her feminine core if everything is about getting the next thing done and getting the next thing done?

And then we go on to enter the work force. And whilst I think this is fantastic; that it’s great how women have so many opportunities – what about respecting what a truly feminine woman can give from her heart?

What about respecting her worth simply as a woman? Simply through her ability to love, and to feel?

After all, it is through her feeling that a woman’s depth of maternal instincts and nurturing can surface!

Read also: Should I Control My Emotions To Be High Value?

There needs to be a balance! A balance between the masculine and feminine energy inside of a woman.

(Read my article about why being one dimensional will cost you)

For a lot of women, our complexities (something that is at the heart of the feminine energy) are conditioned out of us, and we become like zombies

Not really happy, and not really ‘alive’ and radiant like a woman truly should be, but not necessarily unhappy enough to do something about it.

How often have you been walking down the street, or sitting on the train, and people look like they’re machines? It’s particularly sad to see women like this.

Personally, I’d rather meet a woman who hates me than to meet a woman who is bland and dead inside. I like to see some kind of emotion; something human. Something womanly.

(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)

Unfortunately, it’s very common to come across women who are more like robots.

I believe a strong woman should never be content with content. Women are a symbol of beauty; of femininity. And we ought to live enriching lives and bring LIFE, energy, love and hope wherever we go.

And, I believe that there needs to be more manly men, more masculine men to respect and love her for the contrast she brings to him; and for the many ways in which she completes him!

There are 17 Attraction Triggers. Click here to know more about these attraction triggers.

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”…Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

What is a strong woman to you?


P.S. Connect with me on social media.

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Truly subject to interpretation. One person cannot possibly define what a strong or feminine woman is. This is a personal thing. What I view as strong or feminine might be totally different than someone else. I think its important to define these terms on your own vs. listening to someone else’s definition.
These terms are only as good as what you believe in. My advice as a Coach is be who you truly are and never stray from that.


I am so thrilled that I happened upon this blog. It is awesome! I reconnected with a friend that I had 25 years ago, we went our separate ways and we reconnected 2 years ago. This relationship with him is teaching me so much about my femininity and allowing it to flow. For some reason I notice that I am more emotional and I cry and what’s even more amazing to me is, I don’t care if he sees me crying and I don’t feel weak or stupid for doing so either. I am allowing myself to just be with… Read more »


I love all your articles 🙂 Thank you. I used to be sooooooooooooooooooooo afraid but am learning to let go and not have fear. It’s getting easier and then I read articles like these 🙂 x x


thanks renee it is hard to be a woman sometimes to feel safe and valued, thank you for your voice. I feel as a woman I do want love underneath but sometimes have been taught the wrong way to get it – really it means taking a risk that someone will take care of me (in their masculine way and I don’t have to) and that I too have something to give (in my won feminine way). Still trying to digest that, it’s so beautiful and at the same time has been hard given my childhood especially. Thank you for… Read more »


Hi Renee,

This is the the best blog ever! Yes you are right. There are women that I personally know that what they seek are achievements that won’t make them accept their femininity. There are lots of women who thinks sexy body is femininity itself but don’t have the heart of a good, true feminine women. What’s more, there are women that don’t do make ups or dress properly like a woman should because they are embarrass to show their womanhood. Too many of them, and that’s why there is this so called GENDER CONFUSION.


Aww, this is lovely :-), it felt emotional to read and I would say that I feel that some of the work on here has helped as much as it can, into permitting myself to feel emotion and open up/be more true to myself as a person. Sadly I would say that I’m a little confused within myself, I’m not even sure what to expect of a man’s behaviour or my behaviour for that matter. When I say that, what I mean is that I would guess that I’ve been attracked to men more in touch with their feminine sides.… Read more »

Reply to  Holly

And now :-), life brought me the experience to recieve psychological help, life brought me to this point in my life and helped me find the feminine women blog, which I consider two great gifts from the universe :-). I must say that I’m so happy with the psychological help that I’ve recieved. The psychologist has saved me from myself and set me free as a person. The feminine women blog is guiding me in the right direction so I’m truly greatfull for that too 🙂 I simply couldn’t imagine my life without the feminine women blog. Well, I was… Read more »

Reply to  Holly

That he planned to see me on a regular basis. He also commented on my quite smoking (now 18 months and permant)that it was early days and would start again if I would be spending time with him. He said he was concerned about telling me about his holiday that he planned to go abroad and when I asked him why he said something about me wanting to go on the holiday with him!?!? THe text me the next day and said after a few text messages that he missed me. I told him that he was way to forward… Read more »

Nair Diniz De Moura
Nair Diniz De Moura

I like what you are writing but is this relating to European culture specifically or for all woman’s all over the world?

Aquila Burdeos M.
Aquila Burdeos M.

HELLO ATE!!!! how are you? i really like the content of your output its so awesome….its been a long time since my last message to you last year…


I like your content! I totally agree that it is hard in our world to be feminine, we have to be strong to be feminine! I promote similar ideas on my website though I haven’t honed in on the relationship side like you have. I will have to follow your posts! If you have a moment, pop over to my website! I have some pink products that are masculine in their purpose, (boxing gloves, tackle box) but pink, so girls can embrace and even flaunt their blessing of being a woman. Chicks rock!


Great to be connecting with other women in the fight to reclaim femininity. I live in a society (New Zealand) where being feminine is regarded, in my opinion, as a weakness. Many people think femininity only means what a woman looks like, or how she behaves, neglecting creativity, compassion, tolerance, nurturing and all the other core strengths femininity encompasses. So many girls and women fear their own feminine nature and downplay it. Being like a man does not make us strong – and it sends the wrong message out. It says ‘womanhood is not as good…’ Let’s keep up the… Read more »

Liara Saffir

A woman is truly strong when she relaxes completely into the beauty and sexiness of her femininity (not talking about her looks). She realises her gifts and strives to excell in them to serve herself, her community and humanity. This strong and beautiful woman completely nurtures herself in order to nurture others. She supports her man or partner in his masculine power and yet stands strong in her feminine self. She stands completely and proudly in the strength of her womanly role. There are many models of strong powerful yet feminine and sexy woman way back before Christianity diminished the… Read more »

Reply to  Liara Saffir

That sounds really interesting! I would love to know more about these pre-defaming womanly women.


I totally agree with the falling numbers of the true ladies. When i go to the train every morning to get to my college, i observe those nonchalant women who not only hide their feminine nature but even hate it. They dress up like tomboys even at the age of 30 and 40, speak loudly all over the train, and generally give you a bad impression. And tell you what, all these “ladies” admire men, and think them superior to a woman. It strikes me with shock how can men ever love them. I’ve asked tonnes of people in this… Read more »


i m dat woman!thx~!


As a Mother of 8, Grandma to 1 and former Foster Mom to some 15 others I found my true purpose many years ago. However, it was not until recently that I embraced my femininity. I was always told as a child that I was fat and ugly. My mother was an unfortunate woman and it was sort of like Snow White and the wicked Queen. My mother was physically very pretty and incredibly narcissistic, no one else in our home was allowed to be as pretty as her. I was the only girl of 5 children. . Recently I… Read more »


Definitely agree with your summation of a strong woman. I was raised around women who were either passive and/or agressive, not really standing up for themselves or whenever they do it’s hardly constructive, it’s destructive. Even the tv shows like Bad Girls Club show that a strong woman is always angry, loud, combative and slapping people to put them in their place and it made me wonder, “Should I be like that too in order to gain respect and love?” To me a strong woman keeps her serenity and peace throughout the times. She’s the eye of the storm. Most… Read more »


Thank you for working to preserve femininity. Femininity is that quality which men cannot explain or fully understand, but which subconsciously attracts us to certain people. Men, either knowingly or no, will always value womanliness. But it is those women who feel empty or lost and don’t know why who lose in this society. Some women are simply more masculine than the mean, but I believe there are many, many girls who would be much happier if they knew that there is strength, dignity, and true heroism in feminine qualities, activities, and toil. It is a tragedy that girls who… Read more »

Clever Idiot
Clever Idiot

“No woman is strong because she can…run fast” Doesn’t that depend on what she’s running FOR? If she’s running FROM something, like the feeling of “her own pain and suffering”, then surely that’s not strong? BUT- running TOWARDS something? If that shows, like you said, a woman “who feels deeply and loves fiercely” by running towards that goal of protecting something dear to her(in that “both soft and powerful” way that is the essence of femininity), then is that not a strong feminine woman? So really, your comment could be taken as true…in the right context 😉 (Don’t worry, I’m… Read more »


Thank You very much, Jenny, Manda and Catherine! 🙂

@Ella: Feminine women are well balanced, and can stand up for themselves if pushed down – just by doing it with class. And, yes – there’s a lot of pushing and shoving going on as well as competition between women out there.

Just remember that it really doesn’t matter where you ‘come’ in the competition – but what matters is that you contribute to the world beyond yourself.

A feminine woman can definitely still work. It’s just how you do it that matters 🙂


Personally, women who I find inspiring in the workplace are the ones who have done well – but have got there because of their kind and feminine natures. I think it’s ok to strive to do well and achieve, but to do so in a kind, respectful way – without pushing people over to get there. As I’m just about to step into a masculine workforce, I’m going to stick to my values of helping out others (both those above and below) and to conduct myself in a feminine, kind and polite way. Hopefully this masculine world doesn’t push me… Read more »

Reply to  Ella

@Ella: “Hopefully this masculine world doesn’t push me down :S”
I truly think that if true femininity is around, there will always be plenty of men wanting to protect that, nurture that and give their lives for that. Men will feel compelled to do that, because true femininity is so rare and so precious.

Reply to  David

This is the reason y women who are as u described them, steal my heart and get my upmost respect and attention. It is the real strength of women and is in high demand. Unfortunately, its also in short supply.


I definetly agree that ones sense of strength and achievment should not be based on their achievements on paper, or in material posession. If your life WAS like that, imagine on your death bed – realising how you had no connection to your children, a bland relationship with your partner, and no real friends, just the people with whom you had to schmooz with to get to where you were – not feeling whole. You can of course be successful on paper, and have a lovely lifestyle – but to give up your beautiful nature as a woman in order… Read more »

gail reale
gail reale
Reply to  Catherine

i enjoyed your opinion. it helped me to reflect . thank you

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