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Find out What Habit will Make you Feel Lonely Forever

Article updated 2018

Sometimes it’s hard and disappointing when you feel like you are dating men, but you are not finding any that you are actually attracted to.

Have you ever wondered how to find a good man when you feel like you are losing hope?

If you have, then maybe you will relate to this.

I have a question. Is it that you are not attracted to the men you meet and date? Or is it that you are too busy judging these men, and too busy looking for their flaws, to feel any attraction for them? When you judge men a lot, you can’t be authentic and feminine. When you’re not authentic, you aren’t the most attractive woman out there, that’s for sure. Because all your judgements are masking your true attractiveness. (Click here to get your “Goddess Report”)

And when you don’t feel attractive, you are never going to attract a good man.

“He laughed really weird.”

“He’s not tall enough.”

“I want someone like Channing Tatum.”

I’m not suggesting that you should settle for a less attractive man than you can have. Not at all.

Are Your Standards REALLY too High?

Maybe your friends tell you that your standards are too high.

Rarely are people’s standards too high. That’s a lie. The truth is usually that they are just too scared. They have felt judged their whole life, maybe by men, so now they feel underlying resentment with men. And now they can’t be themselves and can’t stay in their feminine energy because they’re so uptight, looking for reasons why any man is not right, or not good enough.

Developing Total Innocence with Men

It’s going to be hard because you won’t notice yourself doing it all the time, but stop judging men.

Even the short ones. Even the ones who don’t make over $100,000 a year. I have often noticed that the women who get the most from men are women who simply have no judgments and approach almost every interaction with men with a total innocence. 

That’s right, a total innocence. What I mean by that is, you don’t look for FLAWS before you even start a conversation with him.

Think about children. Do children run around judging everybody? Or do they just want to have fun? Does the little girl in you who loves to play run around harbouring a bunch of unnecessary judgments about men? No, she doesn’t. You do.

Here is Why You Are not Dating Men you Are Attracted to:

Some men won’t be your type, that’s fine. But again, do you keep dating men and find that you’re not meeting the ones that you are attracted to? (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

That’s because of 2 possible reasons:

1) you have too many judgments of men, so you are not showing up as your most attractive self, because you’re too busy judging and looking for flaws, which means of course, you won’t attract the kinds of men you really DO want. You’ll lose hope and start to get scared that you will never find the one for you. And then live in resentment of the women who do.

2) you want a man that would make you feel more worthy than you already feel on a day to day basis. And I’m sorry, but love does not thrive on that weak base.

To find love, and to find that fairy tale, just let go of the memories of being told you are not pretty enough, not tall enough, not short enough, not successful enough. (read my article about how to attract your ideal man)

Men don’t Love You for Achieving Things

Let go of the feeling that you’ve got to ACHIEVE something before a man will love you. Men don’t love you for achieving things. That’s a LIE. They love you for your feminine energy. They fall in love because you don’t act like a man and try to achieve everything just to be enough in this world.

Men want the real you. The authentic you that laughs and has fun even with the shortest, ugliest, dumbest man on the planet.

I’ve coached hundreds of women from many countries, and I think I’d have to be REALLY stupid not to notice common actions, feelings and patterns among women. Here’s one of the many things I’ve observed and helped women with:

More often than not, we don’t want a tall man. We think we do, but we don’t. And that thought is destroying your feminine energy and your attractiveness.

(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)

What You Truly Want…

A tall man might be NICE, but…

What you TRULY want, is to feel deep attraction, passion, to feel safe, secure, loved AND excited. And I am just telling you what you already knew but you forget too often: to have passion, attraction and security, the man doesn’t have to be tall or rich. You just THINK he does.

Because you’ve seen too many men who are short, poor and unconfident be unattractive because THEY don’t feel like they are good enough for you. So you have developed this association with short, poor, unconfident men.

Not every man who isn’t rich or tall feels bad about himself.

If you constantly feel that you NEED to have a tall, good-looking man to compete with other women, to impress your family, and to do better than your sister did, you will never find the love that you are craving.

Because what you are looking for is NOT a relationship. What you’re really looking for, are reasons to feel worthy. Maybe a taller man will make you feel worthy. Maybe a stronger man will make you feel proud and worthy of your mother’s love or your sister’s love.

But if that’s what you keep looking for, all you will find is a deep, black hole of emptiness. You will find that you are lonely and still single.

Long-term relationships are a spiritual path. What this means is, you have to have the courage to love a man even when you’re scared that he is not good enough for you.

No man is going to be good enough for you in every single moment, because he is a human being. Just like you are.

He is going to stuff up, make you feel awkward, do things that scare you. That’s what you sign up for when you enter a long-term relationship.

Here’s How to be Beautiful to Men

If you want to be beautiful to men in an otherworldly way, stop judging men. And they will stop judging you. Be innocent in every interaction. Assume that almost all men have some worth, some value in this world. Because that’s who you really are. That’s what you WOULD do, if you weren’t feeling fearful of men. You are not the fearful bitch. You are a beautiful, authentic woman who knows how to use the fearful bitch on the rare occasion that it is needed, but you do not have to constantly LIVE in that place. (read my article about femininity)

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

You Don’t Have to Settle for Less than You Want

One last thing: no, you don’t have to settle for less of a man than you want. All you have to remember is:

1) Stop judging men and looking for flaws. Make innocence and acceptance of men your first reaction, rather than judgments. It’s hard, but it works.

2) By telling yourself  that you want a man to be better looking or taller, you’re lying to yourself. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have and won’t have a tall man, it just means, if you keep looking for looks, status, and riches, that’s what you’ll get – you’ll get a man who thinks his only worth to you is looks, status and riches. And that is a s**t relationship if I may say so.

What you are really looking for is a feeling. A feeling of passion, excitement, that also comes with security and love. You need to know that all you ever want is a feeling. Not the perfect looking man, and not the man who acts perfectly. Learn the 17 Attraction Triggers and be single no more, clicking here.

We no longer live in a pre-historic age, where the SLIGHTEST bad move on a man’s part means he won’t be a good provider, or that he won’t be able to protect you. Although your instincts tell you that’s the truth.

Nowadays, hardly anything threatens your life. You are free to look for love and excitement. You no longer have to look for flaws first, and obsess critically over a man’s actions or pitfalls, like your female ancestors did.

Try it. Men won’t be able to pull themselves away from you. (read my article about making a man want you)

Renee the feminine woman

P.S. Connect with me on social media.

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Renee WadeEileenLakesha SmithalexSuper Janice Recent comment authors
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Eileen
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Eileen

Dear Renée, thank you! I’ve been reading through your blog for the past two days and I feel like you’ve drilled a hole in my head and let some light in 🙂 Renée, could you please, please answer my question (or link me to an article of yours that might address it): what do you do when you do start attracting men, but don’t know what to do next, how do you spot the good ones from the bad ones? Do you need to date each of them at least once? What if a guy stops you on the park… Read more »

Lakesha Smith
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Lakesha Smith

This is the realist article I’ve read in along time. I appreciate you for this. I love your straight “forwardness” if that’s a word lol. It was very direct and not sugarcoated.

alex
Guest
alex

A woman that has fun and dates any old ugly dumb idiot is a woman with extremely low self worth and i would laugh at the pathetic broad.

Super Janice
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Super Janice

Do children run around judging everybody? Some of them do, including me! Today, some children hide their true selves because they wanted to conform to the gender rules so they started to judge people by saying boys cannot play dolls and girls cannot play cars… When I was 10 years old (in 2008), I saw a boy in the choir lesson with the girls. I frequently said, “Boys should not join the choir!” There was a 7 year old girl in the choir and I frequently asked people why she was joining the choir! The reason I got is she… Read more »

Anonymouse
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Anonymouse

Here is one reason many women can’t find a significant other. Usually when the right person comes along, she tells them “I only see you as a friend”. Try considering for once in your lives all you women out there, that maybe the person you only see as a friend could be the person who truly has your best interests at heart and might actually be sensitive to your needs as well as being the person who makes you feel special. Another reason why you can’t find a significant man in your life is because you usually date someone who… Read more »

saerah
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saerah

I’m sorry to say things don’t work so easily.It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do if men don’t like the outside package at first. Do you have articles for women with disabilities and health problems in the dating world? I feel excluded because most of these articles seem to be for women without any health problems. I have several skin conditions and I never had a boyfriend at 26 because men reject me. I also have hypothyroidism, I get tired easily. Men see the spots in my skin (vitiligo)and look at me weird. They never invite me anywhere… Read more »

alex
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alex

You’re right. This author is dumb. Men are sex driven sluts that mainly just care about looks and sex. They are NOT deep emotional beings capable of true love. That’s a myth. A trick society has played on women for ages. Meanwhile we are still expected not to judge them. What a crock! Im 32 and very physically attractive but i don’t want a man because i know how they are. Sure they want me, but it doesn’t mean they will truly love me as i deserve. You shouldn’t feel bad about your medical issue. There is also special types… Read more »

Khang
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Khang

Hi Rene,

But you once advised to have the Must-haves list in our dream man with many details, from the outside to inside….? what if we have set a certain height in that?

Tim
Guest
Tim

It dissapoints me, but I am going to choose to remain a bachelor for at least a few more years now. I am seeking girls who are truly feminine, but it is difficult to find them in this world today. I work in a professional job, and about 75% of my colleagues are women now. For myself, I am learning gradually what it means to be masculine. We have few male role models to learn from nowadays, and for those who are, they are rarely acknoledged for their efforts, or ridiculed because their opinion is different to the majority we… Read more »

metak
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metak

What is it with women that you need someone to ‘explain’ something so obvious?
“The grass is green… the sky is blue… and here’s the check for you. Thank you and come again.”

Just try to imagine if all that ‘wasted’ thinking was put to some actual use. 😉

Maya
Guest
Maya

Hi Renee Thanks for the article. In my experience, I have noticed consistently, that whenever I have been vulnerable with a man, including my father, brother, friend, etc. they simply dismiss my fears as “nothing” act like I am complaining about nothing (which then end up being serious problems such as major health issue requiring hospitalization because it went untreated) , laugh at me, poke fun of me and rarely step up to take care of me. Perhaps I am surrounded by assholes after all, but how am I supposed to believe that men do take care of you when… Read more »

Viki Samoja
Guest
Viki Samoja

Guess what, you are surrounded by men that are not masculine, ittakes two to tango as they say, it is not enough for a woman to be feminine, man has to be masculine too, and vice versa, if a man mocks you for being vulnerable at best he is only half a man, or he is immature.

Li
Guest

I liked your bit about how we like taller men for the SECURITY and the SAFETY that they give us, rather than just the height.

Same thing with women, it’s not jus the youth but it’s the non judgmental innocence that attracts men to us.

I’ve subscribed to other relationship coaches but no one says it with the depth that you do. You write the longest emails in the world but I read every word because you are just *that GOOD* at pinpointing what the problem is and how exactly to solve it, the right way.

Sofya Bardashev
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Sofya Bardashev

Just wanted to reply to this, since I’ve been dating someone my height for a while now and so many girls tell me “Oh I could never do that. I need my man to be taller than me.”
But the interesting thing is, Renee was not saying that the taller man = security. She was saying we THINK that if he’s taller, we’ll have greater security and safety, but that actually that feeling of safety is independent of what his height actually is.

Nicole
Guest
Nicole

Depends. I think your advice is good, though I think following our heart is key. Some women prefer to be single than be with men they don’t find attractive/not a right match. What if they deserve to be with someone whom they are very attracted to physically and mentally and spiritually and they just haven’t met that person yet? Maybe the key isn’t to make men attracted to you, because its not hard. Finding the right fit though, is another question.

Adrienne
Guest
Adrienne

I agree both women and men can be too picky and too judgemental when comes to the opposite sex. However, I also think it’s good to have high standards for yourself and in a love partner for both sexes. Sometimes people can be so infactuated in a date that they overlook negative qualities that will hinder a future relationship, or they may overlook a big flaw that is a dealbreaker for them in order to keep a relationship. I think they should be a balance in having good standards in not being overly critital or demanding. If your date did… Read more »

edila pacheco
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edila pacheco

Great Advice. I’m trying to get to the dating scene I just can’t.

mary griffin
Guest

Hi Renee, I am seeing this guy and we both love oral sex. I feel i get more than he does because I can’t get him to cum. What might I be doing wrong? can you give me some idea? Also you have helped me understand some things about feelings, on be half of women and men. Thanks

Ellie Rae
Guest

I am not in the dating scene, but I can tell you that what you say is true. I see too many people being way too picky. Nobody’s perfect. Nobody.

Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c)
Guest
Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c)

“Nobody’s perfect.” I am. Why would you believe that God does not create perfection? One thing that women do not understand is that God creates perfection. You use “nobody is perfect” to justify the horrible things you women do to men. Really. Have you women no idea how badly women treat men now? You hate on us 24×7. You steal our kids, you steal our houses, you destroy our businesses and when we protest you hate on us. And you wonder why we find this unattractive? In Australia it is estimated 4,000 men a year kill themselves from the abuse… Read more »

Ani
Guest
Ani

Your views are so skewed that it’s almost hard to believe.

Enjoy loneliness, you woman-hating nutjob.

Bella Vanity
Guest
Bella Vanity

Something is TRULY wrong here…Smh..and she was referring to women’s pickiness in choosing men if im not mistaken…so this rant is kind of superfluous

S.M
Guest
S.M

I love how u tell us to dev total Innocence with men and not judge them 🙂 It’s true- sometimes it takes a while to see the attractive quality in them.

& also how feeling worthy is a personal job for me to make…n not look towards a man to make me feel that way.
I think at the root of it all, this is the problem tht can really get in the way of attracting a gd man.

astrid
Guest
astrid

hi Renee, this post is spot on. I was just saying this to my (single, successful, gorgeous!) girlfriends the other day. Open your heart up! I totally changed my attitude a few months ago and men have been coming out of the woodwork, including ones that I had my eye on for a while but couldn’t get to notice me. Now it’s just a question of finding a good match – same religion, similar interests, temperment etc. Maybe you have some suggestions on how to discriminate & choose? Many men show up, but I still don’t feel like I’ve found… Read more »

regina
Guest
regina

Thank you….I always enjoy your blogs and this one is no exception. You are the ONLY relationship coach that gives this kind of value! It is right on for me….I will apply it!

Renee Wade
Guest
Renee Wade

Thank You for your comment Regina, it is SO nice to hear! And it’s wonderful to be acknowledged. 🙂 all the best in applying this. xox

McKay
Guest
McKay

Ths article came at the tym I need it the most, thank you very much. I was stuck up with judging a guys every move, when he doesn’t do things “accordingly” I would get turned off him.

Renee Wade
Guest
Renee Wade

Hi McKay! You’re welcome. 🙂

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