Is it Wise to Pick A Man Who Loves You More Than You Love Him?

On a primal level, it benefits women to pick a man who is far more in love with her than she is with him, because that feels like he will stick around, and so we (and our babies) can have all his resources.

However, this is the exact thing many men hate about a relationships and commitment to a woman.

Research shows that men fall in love faster, and way harder than women do. Research done by the well respected Anthropologist Helen Fisher, also shows that MEN are far more idealistic about love and relationships than women are.

(Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man”)

Are you surprised by this research?

Research shows, also, that women on the other hand, are more pragmatic in dating and relationships.

Here’s what being pragmatic looks like:

“Hm….is he willing to give me marriage and babies?”

“Is he the tallest and smartest one I can get?”

“Is he rich enough to get us through the 18 years of all our children’s lives?”

“Is he the highest status guy I’ve got on my contact list?”

“Is he willing to spend money on me?”

“I’m in love with another man, but he is very busy with work and doesn’t seem to stick around. A safer bet would be to go with the ‘cute’ one who will stick around.”

“I’m not as passionate about him as I am about Daniel, but at least he’ll stick around.”

Is it Wise to Pick A Man Who Loves You More Than You Love Him?

He likes me more than i like him

The problem is, the whole premise behind “choosing a man who loves you more than you love him” is that it makes men feel like crap.

It breaks hearts, it makes them never want to commit to another woman again.

You don’t know the number of times I’ve heard stories about men who found their first love, ended up falling in love, and felt as though they were willing to give her everything.

But then, after 5 years of marriage, they find out that she’s run off with another man or gotten pregnant to the bad boy.

If you’re interested to see this in action for yourself, start with this discussion page here.

Yes, Men NEED To Be In Love With You, But…

Men need to fall in love with you (from an evolutionary perspective), because it encourages them to shell out their resources to just one woman for the long term.

If they are not in love, they are not likely at all to shell out any resources. Instead, they just keep you around, or have sex with you and then leave.

But if he is in love, he shells out more than just dinner and a movie.

A little bit of money is easy for a man to give out. But falling in LOVE makes men shell out a bunch of other resources that normally feel unnatural to him.

What resources, you may wonder? Emotional resources. For a number of years.

At least the children will have a caring and involved daddy. Good for wife, and good for children.

But remember: just because a man can ‘provide’, doesn’t mean your quality of life is going to be great.

A man being in love with you kind of protects you from being ‘used’ by him. But this doesn’t really mean things will be better for you.

Let me explain why in my article Is It Smart For Women To Look For A Rich Man?

When A Man Loves You More Than You Love Him

When I was 18, my mother and her friends told me to pick a man that loves me more than I love him. I scrunched my nose up. Something didn’t feel right to me, hearing that.

It felt selfish. It felt so guarded and such a miserable way to live.

Sure it seems nicer and less risky to have someone love you more than you love him. Especially to the women who have abandonment issues or fear of abandonment.

But since when has making decisions from fear and the desperate need for safety given you an infinite quality of life?

Here’s a video I made to answer this question of who should love more in a relationship?

Now, many years after my mom and friends told me to marry a man who loves you more than you love him, if you were to ask me: is it wise to pick a man who loves you more than you love him?

I’s say this:

Is it wise to pick a man who loves you more than you love him?

Well my answer is yes and no.

Yes, if you treat relationships as a transaction. (“what is this man worth to me? What can he GIVE me?” “is he willing to have a long term relationship with me?”) (Hey, many women do this.)

No, if you want to live a blissfully happy, passionate and fulfilling life, where other people look at your relationship and envy you.

I choose no.

You might be wondering why that is.

My answer is because: it is only through your authentic emotional vulnerability to a man that YOU get to feel the full pleasure and bliss of what an intimate relationship has to offer: magnifying your emotions. And it is this way that HE gets to feel great with you too.

It can’t work long term unless you both have deep investment in each other as well as INTENSE emotions towards each other.

What do I mean by intense emotions?

I mean deep emotional attraction and deep emotional connection.

After all, that’s the purpose of intimate relationship: to magnify our emotions, and make life more delicious.

If you’re not both responsive to each other and invested, you encounter a lot of trouble: trouble that can and will really hurt one or both of you!

Not to mention, when you choose a man from a place of wanting to take as much as you can (ie: you don’t want to run the risk of caring or investing too much emotion in a man), the only men silly enough to tolerate it are the ones who aren’t very smart.

This is because these are the men who simply aren’t very attuned to a woman.

They don’t know what they’re getting themselves into and they don’t see, hear or feel the warning sign.

Being completely vulnerable to a man, being completely in love, actually gives YOU incredible pleasure.

Provided he is also in love with you, you both get to grow together and develop a loving, healthy, lasting and passionate relationship.

This is why, women who date for resources get very different results than women who date for true love. Here’s an article on Women who Date for Resources Vs Women who Date for True Love.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

Should you choose the man who loves you more?

When you are choosing a man from a place of total pragmatism – or even a sense of guardedness, entitlement or closure – you attract only the man who can tolerate that in you.

…And usually, that’s a very silly man (he’s also likely to be the kind of man other women do not want!)

When You choose only pragmatically, or just logically, and not because you are truly in love – and not because you just want a RELATIONSHIP for the sake of a relationship – it’s you who eventually suffers. It’s a transaction, it’s not a relationship.

We don’t live only 15-30 years anymore, like our ancestors did. Back then, the strategy of picking a man who loves you more than you love him worked. I

t got the species procreating, it allowed you access to resources that helped you and your babies live.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

But, here’s the problem: We live some 60-120 years now! Now, it’s not the transaction, and what we can GET from a man that makes us giddy and happy in our relationship.

Now, we want happiness. Transactions between a man and a woman aren’t designed for happiness.

We are capable of evolving beyond this transaction thing. At least that’s what I believe in.

To be happy in a relationship, you have to be vulnerable to a man. Not only logical about his WORTH to you.

Being invested in a man?

That takes courage, though. Because, with vulnerability also comes pain. I’m ok with that, aren’t you? Pain is a part of life.

We try to avoid it like it’s the devil. Actually, it’s not – it’s a gift.

Without allowing yourself to feel deep fear and pain, you cannot experience deep love and passion. (Read my article about how to be submissive for love)

learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

Value your long term happiness!

I suggest you value your long-term happiness rather than what’s easy today.

Choose a man who you are obviously in love with, and whom is also obviously in love with you.

Ideally, you should chase each other.

This is how you raise securely attached, truly resourceful and happy children together.

…Because the real resource in life doesn’t just come from a man’s money, it comes from the quality of the bond that you both have together.

I say this because I’ve learned by living through it. My sons don’t get raised by money. They get food on the table healthy food through money. But that money that puts food on their table is not what raises them into good, securely attached, resourceful, non-drug addicted, healthy and high achieving men.

Of course, as a woman, you will always choose the best man, who has the better provider qualities (that you personally value), to be in a relationship with. There is nothing wrong with that, and that’s instinctive whether you like it or not. It’s there to help you.

The question is though:

Why are you really choosing to commit to him long-term?

Are you making the decision to commit to a man for the long term because he loves you more than you love him?

And are you looking to just keep the man around, because if he loves you more, then he WILL stick around?

Because he won’t.

Should a man love a woman more?

You might say “but it’s better that he loves me more!”

I know it seems that way!

But he’ll get tired of desiring you more than you desire him. He’ll get tired of being more invested in the relationship than you are. He’ll want something else.

Also, he’ll be another male statistic that feels used by women.  And then he may also go out into the world and use other women, because he’s so angry and resentful.

You Feel More In Control If He Loves You More, But It That a GOOD tHING?

Is it a good thing if he loves you more than you love him?

Well think about it like this:

If you love him less, then you will not invest as much in the relationship as he would.

Think about the consequences of that for a moment.

Can you think of any possible consequences of that, for you?

I can, and it goes a little like this. Let me use the example of the popular female love strategy: getting the man to initiate contact 80% of the time, while the woman initiates only 20% of the time.

With this 80/20 rule of contacting a man: if you only put in 20%, and he always puts in 80%, you might feel in control, but that lost 20% is a massive deficit to your relationship bank that will show through soon enough.

It will exhaust him and he will begin to resent you if he’s silly enough to tolerate it for too long.

I choose to say it is not wise, for your own long term happiness, to choose a man who is more in love with you than you are with him.

I don’t want to make my values your values, too, though. They are my values. And that’s how I chose my husband (whom, by the way, I met and fell in love with when he was dead broke.)

Isn’t it interesting though, that now, many years later, this is the exact same man who has given me a credit card that I never have to pay back? It is something I never would have just expected from him. He gave it because he wanted to.

(Just remember that although broke or jobless men may at first look like a red flag, broke or jobless men CAN still be high value.)

So what do you think? Would you prefer to choose the man who is in love with you while you like him just ‘enough’ to be with him?

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

5 2 votes
Article Rating

High Value Women Group

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
103 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kirk
Kirk

You know what? I am that guy. I am 43, and practically gave up one the whole relationship thing. And even more so, I vowed Asceticism, to prevent myself from being manipulated through sexual means. All my life, I have been given the dilemma of “If I am interested, she isnt; If she is interested, I’m not”. Been dealing with it, for over 28 years. Granted, I was always a short guy. I make a 6-figure salary as the operations manager for a company. Yet, I am successful in business without a business degree (my degree is in engineering, and… Read more »

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Kirk

> “We don’t live only 15-30 years anymore, like our ancestors did. Back then, the strategy of picking a man who loves you more than you love him worked. It got the species procreating, it allowed you access to resources that helped you and your babies live.” Common myth. People lived to be upwards of 60+ if they weren’t brutally murdered by warlords or caught some sort of disease. More or less the low life expectancy was mostly due to high infant mortality. In ancient times, Infant mortality was at best 25% and at worst about 52% (Helen Fischer wrote… Read more »

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Kirk

Also, in those times, it was more common for both parties to be arranged in marriage by their families or communities, therefore neither the man or woman cared for each other until some time had passed. The idea of romantic love is a product of European Medieval customs. Meanwhile, the vast majority of the world had to marry their cousin, in order to keep the dowry in their own family.

The Sad Truth
The Sad Truth

Most women nowadays are real gold diggers and will sleep around with much older men with Mega Bucks.

Laura
Laura

I do get your article! And the best loving relationship is where both people are in love with each other. Though being 45 and single for 7 years, I wanted to date men I was smitten by, men for which I felt the butterflies… well none of them felt in love with me and as you state… they stay a little while and then leave in search of their ‘unicorn’. It happened again, met a great guy, dated some time and he treated me like no one did before… I do apply all you you advise: being a high value… Read more »

Karen
Karen
Reply to  Laura

I felt this so tremendously. I too have had similar experiences. Me being super devoted and in love with the guy just resulted in my heartbreak. There is no worse feeling than knowing he didn’t like you enough.

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Laura

Men and women ascertain “value” differently. Female (generalized) perspective of a valuable male: Well-to-do, High Income, Responsible, High Social Status, Attractive to other women, Property Ownership, “Gravitas”, “Fatherly”, and A “Good ear to listen”. Male (generalized) perspective of a valuable female: Youth, Healthy physique, Virility, “Motherly”, Attractive, No kids from previous relationships, and “No other man can have her”. The disconnect comes when women (and men, but it is typically women), claim to be valuable based on the gendered perspective. A woman will see herself as valuable by being a high income earner, but men don’t value women who make… Read more »

Guest
Guest

The great majority of women nowadays just love sleeping around with different guys all the time instead of committing to just only one.

Guest
Guest
Reply to  Renee Wade

Very difficult to meet a good woman these days, unlike the past it wasn’t really hard at all just like it was for our family members. Today most women do have their very high unrealistic expectations and are very very picky, making love very difficult to find for so many of us single men today unfortunately. And i know other single friends going through the very same thing right now as well. And now that so many women are very independent, they really don’t even want us men anymore. Most women did a very complete 180 today compared to the… Read more »

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Renee Wade

Unfortunately, (and I don’t know your age) it seems to be common practice of most females born after 1984 (Millennial women were born between 1/1/1984 to 12/31/2003… “Gen-Z” are people born between 1/1/2004 to 12/31/2023). It really started with us Gen-X’ers, but it wasn’t as pronounced with us, as is with the Millennials. The oldest Gen-Z would be 17 this year, and it may repeat.

Either the case, You are technically a rarity, these days.

Zama
Zama

I think that you are getting this all wrong,being with a guy that loves you more than you love him doesn’t mean you’re settling or choosing the one you don’t love just because they love you…nope ,the concept is falling inlove with a guy who loves you dearly & is crazy about you. It just becomes easier and a lot more fun experience,…The connection between y’all should be natural and unforced.its like choosing to date a guy whose not your usual type or a “nice guy”,you won’t connect with all nice guys but when you find the one you connect… Read more »

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Zama

And you are as she explained… Self centered. Your rebuttal is brimming with self-interest at its core. You only proven her case.

Femme
Femme

Hi Rene! Not sure what your message is this time round…and usually I’m very clear. First of all, men and women love differently. Women love emotionally, with men it’s more of a “I’d give you the whole world and die for you if need be” – if we’re talking about true love. Women’s feelings can fluctuate…Hence sometimes some men find themselves cheated on… Possibly. No wonder it takes men much longer to reach the true love stage, because they need time to get past the initial sexual pressure and decide they love the woman enough even without the “benefits”…And as… Read more »

just
just

I wish I was given this advice 16 years ago. Now I a miserable and stuck and he still loves me to no end, so I feel a sense of guilt. I came to terms with the fact I will be miserable for the rest of my life, just to make him happy.

Ms L
Ms L

A good relationship has a give and take. There will be some days he gives more and other days you give more. If you constantly keep score cards and make tallies and have a tit-for-tat attitude, you’re doomed to fail. Love is about giving from the heart and about team work and commitment and working towards mutual goals. I made the mistake of chastising my partner because he’s not so demonstrative in so far as he isn’t the type of man to randomly send flowers or buy a small gift etc and I berated him for it but realized that… Read more »

Ed
Ed

I think this shows, once more, women have nearly all the power in matters of love, courtship and relationships. We have ample proof that these “sub par” “good enough” non alpha men who love more are simply not what women want. Women want the top alpha male in every respect. And they have the sexual currency to pursue it for a long time, until there looks and biology start to turn for the worst entering into their 30’s but especially 40’s. Men commit suicide 4-6x higher than women in equivalent economic circumstances. Number 1 cited reason amongst survivors? Loneliness/divorce/rejection Female… Read more »

Unreal
Unreal
Reply to  Ed

I find this “women have all the power, nice guys have no hope” attitude to be most prevalent among men whose expectations are way out of line with their abilities. In other words they are lonely and dateless because they are pining away for “9s and 10s” while ignoring average and not so attractive girls. Their problem is of their own making.

Karen
Karen
Reply to  Unreal

Preach!! THIS IS TRUTH! many of these nice guys aren’t so nice on top of that!

Unreal
Unreal
Reply to  Ed

“women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh.” Not really because women don’t priortize attractiveness the way men do. As a man you see this as harsh because you won’t date a woman you don’t think is hot. A woman will exchange hotness for more important qualities. It would be like me getting worked up over a poll that says men didn’t rate rich women as being more desirable than poor women. what important to women is not necessarily what important to men and vice versa. “Women want the top alpha male in every respect.”… Read more »

broken
broken

I’ve been in a predicament where I’m in love with an older guy,who doesn’t seem to love me back. It’s like game playing for him. He’s confusing most times. Saying he loves me yet acting otherwise. Whilst on the other hand, there’s a loving, kind, gentleman, who I can’t seem to love the way he deserves.(sad)

Alice
Alice

It should be a balance actually. A woman that loves a man too much is worst. It will only lead to beating up his new girlfriend, burning cars and getting yourself knocked up (lie about the baby being his). I have a boyfriend that seems to be a bit more into me than I am (I love this guy from the moon and back), but he seem to express it more than me. We have a healthy and great relationship. I smile every time he talks about our future and is exited about it. I can’t help smiling cause I… Read more »

Guest
Guest
Reply to  Alice

“t will only lead to beating up his new girlfriend, burning cars and getting yourself knocked up (lie about the baby being his). ”

Jesus this sounds like something from Jerry Springer….trashy!

Sarah
Sarah
Reply to  Alice

That’s amazing Alice! I desire to have that type of love that your have with your boyfriend, equal love with the man expressing it more 🙂 Beautiful, I am so happy for you <3

Big A
Big A

I am dating a man who loves me more than I love him. My parents, sibling and friends like him for me. He is very kind and patient with me. I like him, but I still long for the other guy whom I really love. I wanted to be with him, but he is in a different country and don’t have plans to visit me soon. He even told me that I would be crazy to wait for him. Do you think I should focus on this guy I am dating or go to the one I love and be… Read more »

Feelings_Are_Divine
Feelings_Are_Divine
Reply to  Big A

Do you want your relationship to be inspiring and truly meaningful, or is a mediocre and comfortable relationship good enough?

Vana
Vana

Every relationship I have been involved in I fell in love much faster than the men did. And afterward the relationship was OVER!
He didn’t feel that way about me.
Except for the last one, I felt like he did love me but I was never sure. Yes I had feelings for him but then he developed feelings for another woman and MARRIED HER! And didn’t tell me he was dating someone else! He informed me on his honeymoon in an email that he got married.

I am left very hurt. Perhaps I gave him too much space.

Anthony
Anthony

The problem with you ladies being indecisive is just because uv not had sex with him just like uv always with the guys u all clam to be in love with and end up deicing u,I have discovered women tend not to have emotions for men they’ve not had sex with or intimacy with u can bet a guy who has not been intimate with u yet falling over hills for you without intimacy you are so so lucky let him in into your world but if u can’t steel let him in u end up settling for less. Cu’s… Read more »

Eve
Eve
Reply to  Anthony

This is completely ridiculous and untrue. Unlearn everything you think you know about women and start over.

M Dizzy
M Dizzy

See, here’s the thing: men act like they want this situation. They seem to WANT you to be cold to them. As soon as you act caring, they leave. And this is from a “good girl,” so it’s not about anything physical. It don’t think it’s right; it’s dishonest for a woman to act this way and disrespectful (toward himself and the woman) for a man to disallow a woman to behave naturally in a relationship. It seems abusive to me. But this is an accepted cultural norm. Why?

Andy
Andy
Reply to  M Dizzy

Seriously….. Your obviously dating the wrong type of guys. A decent guy who has had experience (key word there) appreciates and values a genuine caring partner who loves him just as much back.

You might be a ‘good girl’ but you can still make bad choices when it comes to who you date.

Mayra Vargas
Mayra Vargas

Well I think its just gives u the upper hand in the relationship that’s why it would be wise but it should not be that way. I believe if u love a person u should not hide it and be yourself if its to much for the other person to handle it was just not meant to be and move on.

John
John
Reply to  Mayra Vargas

Why does anyone need the “upper hand” in the relationship?

Do you realise the idea of a relationship is a partnership?

Giana
Giana

I think it is important to note that we do live in a world where arranged marriages are still quite common place in some societies. But, even among our upper classes I am certain many young women are still expected to marry someone who will be good husband material, a provider etc. And, many of these marriages do last a lifetime. Love isn’t simply an emotion that is felt, it is in the actions that we display to our significant other that speak volumes about how we truly feel. You can’t simply marry someone based on an emotion, there are… Read more »

Anjali
Anjali
Reply to  Giana

Hello Giana, You are so right. Arranged marriages work because they are not based on emotions (in the begining at least) but on committement to start with. I am from Asia, so, I know this. Right now, there is a guy, rich certainly, who is head over heels in love with me, but I am not. I take him as a friend. The person whom I like(d), ditched me in the end. Age is running out and I need to decide soon. One can’t keep waiting endlessly ! There is no perfect guy and one needs to compromise on somewhere.… Read more »

Anjali
Anjali
Reply to  Anjali

Forgot to add that I am going to 33 and single since a long time.. There have been men who have/had been interested in me, but I never gave them my time as I didn’t have any feeling for them..

This guy knows that I am undecisive and is okay with giving me more time as we have known each other for an year now and have met only 5 times as we don’t live in the same country. We write and speak to each other regularly.

Chick
Chick
Reply to  Anjali

Hi Anjali I wonder what you have decided in the end with the guy head over heels with you, but you dont feel the same? I am in an exact boat with you. There were two guys. The guy I realised now that I like and may work, ditched me and now with someone else. Im indecisive too just like you and in a different country from the guy that is head over heels with me. I gave him a chance so now dating long distance. Like your guy, my guy just wants to settle down too. I like him,… Read more »

Anthony
Anthony
Reply to  Anjali

The problem with you ladies being indecisive is just because uv not had sex with him just like uv always with the guys u all clam to be in love with and end up deicing u I have discovered women tend not to have emotions for men they’ve not had sex with or intimacy with u can bet a guy who has not been intimate with u yet falling over hells for you without intimacy you are so so lucky let him in into your world but if u can’t steel let him in u end up setting for less.… Read more »

Fairy
Fairy
Reply to  Anthony

You are so wrong Anthony. Woman can do sex without getting bound. I ever try it with some guy who I like but not love, and still I can’t love him.

Adele
Adele

I never wanted to be with a man who loved me more, but right now I have a man in my life who is so stoic, so unemotional, so extremely masculine, that I don’t know if he loves me at all. It is way harder to do what this article says. I have this man in my life and I sometimes wish for a man that was more demonstrative, more relationship-oriented. I hate that my heart is in this. I feel so powerless and weak. I can see why a woman would choose a man who loves her more. I… Read more »

Renee Wade
Renee Wade
Reply to  Adele

Hey Adele,

Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably.

Have you expressed recently to him honestly and vulnerably as you have here – that you fear being abandoned?

Adele
Adele
Reply to  Renee Wade

Hello Renee, I have said I’m afraid that he will leave me and that I felt insecure. But not as openly expressive as I wrote on here. Not as vulnerably. He said once that I wasn’t vulnerable. And even said that I wasn’t innocent. Yes, I’ve been hurt, and have had my guard up for a while. I finally told him why, that my ex betrayed me in an extremely humiliating way (think Kim Kardashian and Ray J). Maybe he finally understands that even though I love him, its hard for me to express my feelings, and I always seem… Read more »

Renee Wade
Renee Wade
Reply to  Adele

Hi Adele,

I know how hard it is. It’s easy to doubt a different species’ intent. 🙂 It takes time, and that’s ok…sometimes just being conscious of your own fearful pattern and doing everything you can to break that pattern (walk in the opposite direction, do jumping jacket…whatever it takes).

He has said that you’re not vulnerable…a clue maybe? 🙂 he needs that from you, but I know that as a woman we also feel that a man needs to earn that.

Sometimes though…we just have to bite the bullet and lead with our own vulnerability. xoxox you take care!

Kirk
Kirk
Reply to  Adele

As a fellow “Stoic”, I can tell you this: If he didn’t care, he would tell you, and be done with it. The fact that he is still with you, is a testament of his true feelings toward you. He really does care, and want to be with you. The issue is, much like myself, he has put his emotions on the line at one or many points in his life, only to have his emotions toyed with, or outright brutalized by women in the past. The Stoic man realizes that placing your emotions on the line will often yield… Read more »

John
John

This is a very interesting and thought provoking site. This article begs the question, what do women (and men) mean when they say they are “in love”? I have a friend who was being told by his now ex wife for months that she “loved” him right up to the point that he found her bonking her ex while he was minding the children. Is “I love you” an emotional open check, able to be later interpretted to mean whatever anyone wishes? “You said you loved me: therefore …..”. Is it linguistic laziness: What’s wrong with being specific and saying,… Read more »

Madeline
Madeline
Reply to  John

My sentiments exactly. Women get carried away with all this “soul mate” and “love” stuff. I’m happily married but never calculated who “loved” more etc. We are very compatible, happy and there is a real sense of equality and mutual admiration and respect. Lots of women chase some flimsy, whimsical idea of “love” but they don’t even know what it means.

M Dizzy
M Dizzy
Reply to  Madeline

I think you should thank God for your relationship. You’re very blessed. I would say most women chase what you take for granted.

PM
PM

Yeah I think that’s the wrong assumption that if you had picked a man who loved you more than you would have “ended up growing into love with him”. In that situation it might have been YOU that ran off and cheated on him. That’s what happens, see.

People grow apart over time, even if the relationship started out on solid footing in the beginning. As people age their wants and maybe even needs changed based on life experience. When you roll the dice, sometimes you lose.

Send this to a friend