Article updated 2018

Deep down, it’d feel nice to have a man desire you and ONLY you forever, wouldn’t it?

Does it sometimes feel to you like men are just not satisfied with one woman?

Do you fear that perhaps he feels attraction for other women even whilst he’s in a committed, long-term relationship with you?

There’s little else that’s a painful as the feeling of loss in life. And especially when it comes to a man.

Like, why would you even want to EVER have a relationship if you thought you were going to lose his attention to someone else?

You wouldn’t.

And here’s the thing – lots of times, when you ask men themselves, even THEY will tell you that it’s impossible not to feel attracted to other women whilst they are in a committed relationship with you. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

So, how on earth do you deal with THAT?

Related post: What to Do If He Takes You for Granted

You cannot just take what men say as “Gospel Truth”

I mean, if he SAYS it, it must be true, right?

Not quite.

There’s something I have to tell you.

And it’s something I talk about in my program Commitment Control 2.0. You cannot just take what a man says for granted.

If you do – if you just take it for granted that he will feel attraction for other women whilst he is with you – or if you take for granted that he will always be looking for something else – then what kind of relationship will you have?

And honestly, how does it feel to YOU – knowing that he’s always going to be out feeling attraction for other women?

What are you going to do? Just turn a blind eye to it like most women?

No, no no.

I’m about to show you what it takes to get a man to be madly in love with you and ONLY you, and if you take what I’m about to teach you and use it, you CAN and WILL experience that kind of love and security and passion with a man that you’ve always wanted.

(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)

How to Get a Man to Desire you and ONLY you

Here’s the secret to getting a man to desire you and ONLY you. The general rule that applies here when you want to get a man to be in love with you and desire you and ONLY you forever, is that your mindset changes everything. Or your psychology, as some call it.

As many highly respected success coaches would say, success in anything is 80% mindset (or psychology) and 20% strategies.

And if you don’t learn the mindset behind having a man want you and ONLY you, and if you don’t understand WHY most men simply don’t perceive one woman can meet all of their needs your relationship will probably fail.

80% of long-term relationships and marriages ultimately fail. So it’s important you as a woman to have the right mindset for making yours succeed.

So here is how you can get yourself out of a rut and get a man to desire you passionately, the way you deserve:

1) Understand that most men don’t REALLY think that they can’t be satisfied with only you.

And it’s not that he REALLY thinks that he cannot be only attracted to you. (Click here to find out the 17 Attraction Triggers that makes a man naturally attracted to you)

What I mean when I say it’s not that he REALLY thinks that he cannot be satisfied by only you, is that it is just his perception. It’s not really the truth. The TRUTH is in how much you meet his needs and how much you fulfill him. A man may VOICE it this way, but it doesn’t have to be true for YOU, in your life.

When a man says he can’t be satisfied with only you – or when YOU think his behavior dictates that he feels this way, what’s really going on is that he simply doesn’t PERCEIVE that all his needs can be met by just one woman.

And that doesn’t have to be true forever, even if it is true in this MOMENT.

And this PERCEPTION that he may have comes from his own pre-conceived ideas about women and about relationships in general. this PERCEPTION comes from his past experiences.

But this PERCEPTION that a man has is something totally different to the excitement and fulfilment he could actually potentially have with you.

Men pick the idea up from popular movies, their peer groups, their father, their parents’ bad divorce, the media….the experiences of their guy friends or close relatives, etc.

By the way, it’s not just men. women often doubt that one man can meet all of their needs. I used to doubt it too – until I met my man. and he owns me. he owns me completely.

He has turned me into a raving fan, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because he always meets my needs in new ways, at such a high level, that I don’t even have space for another man in my mind, my body and my soul. He has taken over my brain – even years and years into the relationship.

It’s really not hard at all for a man to come to the conclusion that no one woman can meet ALL his needs.

We all only have one chance. one chance at innocence in an intimate relationship – and once we lose it, we can become so hurt that it feels impossible to be fully satisfied with only one man. or one woman.

I’ve heard from (and heard of) many men who have been married just once – and afterwards, they just don’t want to marry ever again. Ever. But haven’t we all said ‘NEVER again!’ to something, and later on, down the track, we find ourselves changing our minds?

Isn’t it true? We all start off as teenagers falling in love, and we get so consumed, and we fall in love, and we get hurt – and it’s like; never again. No thanks.

Many of us (men or women) have the idea that we can’t really be truly satisfied with one person (or attracted to) only one person.

So many men and women have been burnt in relationships, and we are fed so much crap, from disillusioned adults – from stupid media, that we tend to have really low expectations just to protect ourselves.

We don’t want to get too involved or open ourselves to one person or tie ourselves to one person just to avoid getting hurt. or being humiliated.

Until that bombshell comes along. Or that prince.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

To have the Relationship you want, you have to come from a Position of Power

You CAN’T just take what men say for granted. This gives you no power, and moreover, it’s a really low-level place for you to be, as a woman. The best man/woman relationships have a powerful woman in it who believes in her ability to influence men. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

It’s not resourceful, and it’s DEFINITELY not going to get you that relationship you want, or that man you want so badly.

This is what most women do. a man tells them something, or they get an idea in their head from other women about men, and they take it as gospel truth. well, it’s not hard to sit there and just be ‘told’ what reality to adopt in your own head.

It’s what most of us do. but little do we know that people and events are influencing us every day. especially the people closest to us. And especially the man or woman we feel the most attraction for.

Think about it, haven’t you had one of those moments where you were SURE something was the truth, and someone or some idea came along and made you change your mind?

For example, have you ever had a really bad day where you thought “gee, nobody really cares about me at all”, and on that day, a stranger did something really kind for you – without asking anything back – and it really changed your perception about people?

And you were kinda like: ‘oh. Maybe people aren’t so bad after all!’

Once you let what others say be your ‘truth’, because they said it – you are instantly powerless.

Why? Why are you instantly powerless? Because you basically let the quality of your relationship with a man be at the mercy of his less-than-true preconceived ideas about relationships.

Which are, by the way, probably encouraged in him by people or media who don’t actually care about him.

As a Woman, You are Always Influencing The Men Around You

See – you instantly increase your attractiveness and desirability when you have the courage to acknowledge that just because someone says something doesn’t mean it has to be true.

You can take the lead as a woman with your FAITH that you can fulfill a man so much that he is so filled up with attraction for YOU that all other women are like a piece of poo on his shoe to him.

After all, haven’t you heard of men who have been stuck to a woman (their wife) like glue for LIFE? madly in love for life?

Here is an interesting scientific finding that will help you have hope that a man can really desire you and only you for a lifetime….

In fact, researchers have proved that some men and women are still madly in love with their beloved after 20 or more years of marriage. The pathways of the brain associated with romantic love (intense attraction) were still lit up as much as they are lit up for couples when they first fall in love in the initial months of the relationship, and in some cases, these couples showed more activity in the area of the brain associated with romantic love and intense attraction.

You’ve been in love before, haven’t you? You know, that feeling where you are obsessed with one man and cannot get him out of your head? Well, you can have a man feel this for you not just for a few weeks, not just for a few months, but FOREVER.

So, would you at least acknowledge that this kind of relationship exists?

Because if you don’t, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to relationships. (See my article on the 3 reasons why women are failing to attract good men)

Women everywhere, every day, are experiencing this kind of bliss in their relationship!

Shouldn’t you be able to relax and just be yourself?

It doesn’t have to be exhaustive – fulfilling a man. I know it does feel exhaustive sometimes, kinda like you can’t just relax and BE YOURSELF, right?

But the real change is not in the EFFORT you put in and the constant racking your brain and ‘TRYING” to keep a man interested. It’s really not about putting in more ‘effort’ as such.

The REAL change is in your mindset.

Kind of like why for some people it’s so easy to stay slim, but for others, they cannot get the weight off! Right? We all know someone like this.

And some people can NEVER lose weight EVEN if they are working their butts off PHYSICALLY at the gym EVERY NIGHT.

Why is this?

It’s because of their mindset.

Mindset dictates your decisions and actions subconsciously.

The truth about why so many men don’t feel happy with just one woman

Do you want to know the truth?

The truth about why so many men simply don’t want to commit to just one woman? The cold hard facts about what most women out there are like?

The facts are this: most women are completely and utterly BORING. They’re always the same kind of person!

And the same is true with men, isn’t it? It’s not just women, it’s men, too. Men can be really boring to be in a relationship with! Especially when you’ve been together for a while.

And it’s not their fault! It’s not their fault that they are boring.

The reason for why so many men and women are boring to be within a relationship is that in our society, most of us become one-dimensional people, and are always the same kind of person because we BELIEVE that we are only one kind of person. That’s why it’s so important to avoid being a one-dimensional woman.

Most Women are One-dimensional

And we are RAISED to be one-dimensional at school, and often by our family and peers.

People always ‘BOX’ us in to one category and limit us to one identity.

For example: we are the sexy one, the quiet one, the ‘gentle, kind-hearted’ one. The daring one. The ‘smart’ one. The ‘elegant’ one.

But the truth is that you are a lot more than just that. You are a lot more than JUST elegant, for example.

And often, if we do something that’s slightly different than what we normally do, people or our “friends”, are all like: “you’ve CHANGED“. (in that dreaded negative tone, like changing is the most evil thing in the world).

And as a result, it’s incredibly hard and feels unnatural’ to be multi-dimensional.

YOU are light feminine AND dark feminine.

Once you embody ALL parts of yourself, you will find that men are lining up to devote themselves to you.

Why? Because this way, they never lose their freedom by being with you!

You don’t restrict a man because you’re being a one-dimensional woman!

(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)

Some experts say that women can become the kind of woman that makes a man ‘give up his freedom’ to be with them. Well, the truth is that NO man is ever going to give up his freedom to be with you. Not a masculine man on earth will ever give up his freedom. Freedom is at the heart of being a man; it’s at the heart of masculinity.

A man wants to genuinely commit to you for the right reasons (ie: because he’s a raving fan of you) when he feels more freedom by being with you than he does by NOT being with you.

Embodying your light and Dark feminine is something I talk about in depth in week 2 of Commitment Control 2.0.

If you want to avoid being one-dimensional, and have a man devote all his attention to just you, click here to register and watch the Commitment Masterclass.

2) Respect yourself enough to KNOW that you can be enough for this one man FOREVER. Once YOU have this confidence, you will start to see him change, and you will attract something completely different in a man. And if you are single, you will attract a completely different kind of man.

Most of us have no idea how much influence we have over a man when we have the courage to acknowledge that we can and already have it within us to be more than enough for a man for LIFE.

After all, it feels MUCH safer if you just think you can’t do it.

Because then you can never fail. And oftentimes, not failing seems a much more attractive idea than looking like a fool, doesn’t it? if you just take it for granted that men will always be looking for something “more” outside of a relationship with you – you can sit back and avoid being hurt.

But by doing this, you just end up powerless and miserable.

The Action Steps for Making a Man Desire you and ONLY You

So here are the three action steps to stop your man feeling dissatisfied with only you, and get him to desire only you and commit all his attention to only you:

1) stop ASKING him about whether he is attracted to other women, and stop FOCUSING on his possible attraction to other women.

Where focus goes, energy flows. The peak performance coach Anthony Robbins said that.

So the more you focus on the possibility of his desire for other women, the more likely you are to lose him to another woman. And the less power you claim for yourself.

And, the more likely you are to just push him away. Because it’s exhausting to be with somebody who is always looking out for possible reasons that they are not enough for you. Imagine yourself being with a man like this!

Instead, focus on a new truth: you CAN be the dream woman for this man that he may not even feel exists right now.

The kind of woman that juices him and makes him unable to have room for any other woman in his mind.

Every single time you notice yourself looking for signs that he might be attracted to other women, INSTANTLY bring your focus back to YOURSELF and what you can do. (See my article on HOW to attract men without being low value)

2) Every time you notice yourself feeling insecure about other women – or about him not being satisfied – Stop what you are doing, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or jump up and down on the spot – whatever you want.

Change your physical state. Do something crazy to change your physical state. do ANYTHING just to change your physical state, because fear is physical.

And you cannot make the right decisions or be the woman he wants when you are coming from a place of fear. Anytime you are fearful, your heart rate is raised, your body’s whole biochemistry changes.

This is why it’s important to simply change your physical state – changing your physical state also changes your emotional state.

3) Start telling yourself a different story.

We all make up stories in our heads as a way of justifying our suffering, or as a way of justifying what we don’t have, or what we haven’t achieved.

A lot of us have stories that are complete lies that we tell ourselves.

Stories like: “Men are always dissatisfied.”

Stories like: “My relationships never last longer than a few months”.

Stories like: “Men are never satisfied with ME. But they seem to be satisfied with OTHER women.”

Stories like: “I’m not the kind of woman men are irresistibly drawn to.”

Stories like: “Men always leave. No matter how much I try to fulfill a man, he always leaves or he always wants something else. I just can’t keep him interested!”

We all tell ourselves silly stories that are untrue. So you need to tell yourself a better story. For example, say the story you habitually tell yourself is:

“oh, I was never considered that beautiful, I’ve never had enough love from any man and my relationships never work out. I’m no Megan Fox, I could never be enough because he’s always going to want someone hotter, more popular, or younger.”

Remind yourself that that is bollocks. Megan Fox has been MADE OUT deliberately, to be a sex symbol, so of course, most people see her that way. Of course, MEN see her that way.

It’s the same way people box everyone in to little capsules of what they think they should be.

You have the capability to be a Megan Fox because all you have to do is stir a man’s physical AND emotional desire.

Stirring a man’s desire and triggering his attention are things you can learn. You just have to tap in to that part of yourself.

So, your new story could be:

“I am more than enough for this man. I have always been enough. I know the truth, I’ve just been lying to myself. The truth is that I have everything I need within me right NOW to be more than enough. Sexy enough, smart enough, poised enough, beautiful enough – all of it.

And I have access to this power within me right now, TODAY. Not tomorrow, or next month, or next year. But right now, TODAY.”

Doesn’t that feel nice?

(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)

So here is what you need to do right now to make sure that you are on the right path to having the desire of the man YOU want on YOU and ONLY you forever:

RIGHT NOW: you need to ACT so that you get this all in to place in your life, and so that you can be the kind of woman who has all the attention and devotion in the world from any man you want.

You need to write down what your old story (or stories) you’ve been telling yourself is:

Whether it’s that “men are never satisfied”

or…

“Men are horribly complicated creatures that are difficult to work out”.

(And you really need to dig deep here, a lot of our most negative stories are etched deep in to our subconscious, after telling ourselves the same story for years and year on end).

And once you’ve written out the old story you’ve been telling yourself, you need to write down what your NEW story is, and start telling yourself the new story.

For example, your new story could be:

“I am a ridiculously attractive and irresistible woman who always has something new and better to bring to the table. All I need to do is get a bit more understanding of men, and stop telling myself lies about my own capabilities and desirability.”

And once you’ve written this new story down –

You must acknowledge that most of us have just never been taught what truly attracts men and makes them go crazy with desire for you day after day, year, after year.

The same way most of us have never been taught how to start and maintain a business; how to initiate and take control of our destiny. That’s why 90% of all businesses fail within the first 5 years.

In fact, most of us have totally lost touch with that natural femininity and intuition needed to be successful in courtship and relationship with men, because we’ve become one-dimensional.

So if you want to go deeper, and take things to the next level in your love life, come on over and learn what 99.9% of women out there will never know about men and relationships. Click here to watch the Commitment Masterclass.

Until next time, love and femininity to you!

Share with us in the comments section below, what your beliefs are about the possibility of being fulfilled by one person for life. Do you believe it is possible?

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

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ale
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ale

How to have a man i want forever?we laugh,we are happy but sometimes misunderstanding..im not desperate girl but want him in my life.cant in an action cause im waiting fr him wht did to our relationship?wht do men thinking?

kim
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kim

FAB* even lol xx

kim
Guest
kim

Wow…this is fan and I can’t wait to write my new story just as soon as I get the kids to bed and walk the dogs. This is extactly what I needed right now. Thank you so much xx

Tori
Guest
Tori

Sorry if the first comment sounds bit critic. I read the article again and it`s really interesting, Thank You. About Light and Dark feminine.. But I find it so..stupid, that we keep looking for reasons or ways to “please” men to “keep” their freedom!.. Like, why have a relationship at all then ,between 2 people ? Why not f**k everything and eveyone and let him do the same cause we are SO open minded people who want to keep our freedom.. lol 🙂 joking We, as women have this innate desire (some!) to be made to feel like the only… Read more »

Tori
Guest
Tori

“See – you instantly increase your attractiveness and desirability when you have the courage to acknowledge that just because someone says something doesn’t mean it has to be true. –

– IT`s called DENIAL. :)) Renee, Denial

Whether you like it or not, or however 100 % sure you are of yourself as a “Powerful Woman” I can guarantee you that , once given the opportunity a man will still cheat.

But of course having Confidence in yourself, will ALWAYS be a Plus vs No Confidence etc

ET
Guest
ET

Thank you Renee this article came at the right time!

Minh
Guest

Renee,

Thank you so much, this one is one of the best, best of all relationship articles by all experts. It lightens up my day.

Love,

Minh

Joan
Guest
Joan

Lies, lies, lies, that is all I’ve been telling myself all my life. Screwed up relationships, and couldn’t figure out the next step. I tried to figure it all out.

Now, I am understanding men better, thanks to this website. Its so much easier this way. Now I can just relax more. And things are amazing.

Deby
Guest
Deby

this is great! thanks Renee… <3

farai
Guest
farai

I came across this site a couple of weeks back and I am glad that I did. It was exactly what I have been looking for, a site that actually gives you advice and tells you what to do not just a site that is advertising their material to sell. I know I will benefit from this one…

winter girl
Guest
winter girl

Hi Renee, I had a rough start in life. I was abused sexually as a child and young adult and there is a whole story that goes along with something like that. I have been reading your blog and emails for many months now alongside doing deep healing work and this article has taken me exactly where I want to be right now, today, on my life journey. As a girl, I wanted to wait for my prince, the man I would marry, to have sex and to be open, and I knew there was one man out there for… Read more »

web site
Guest

Hello There. I found your blog using msn.
This is a very well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to
read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll certainly return.

Thomas
Guest

wonderful issues altogether, you just won a new reader.
What would you suggest about your publish that you just made a few days ago?
Any positive?

Trish
Guest
Trish

Now that I realize I should be embracing my DARK side as well and my LIGHT side, to be two dimensional, he’s in for a wild ride…!!! I think I am going to have one hell of a great time with my new life without caring about his feelings. I am the goddess that he will worship…!!! Hello world, I’m making my debut…!!!

ashley
Guest
ashley

Renee I love reading your blog. I used to have a ton on confidence and felt my husband only had eyes for me. I found out he looked online at several women on a porn site. After he said he only had desire for me and wanted our relationsh ip to just ne between us. When I asked him he said he did not feel like I was as attracted to him and wanted to feel attractive. He said it didnt do anything for him and that he did not use it to masterbate so I did not have to… Read more »

trish
Guest
trish

You need to embrace your DARK side as well as your LIGHT side as Renee says. Go ahead and be that two dimensional woman. It is hard to break old habbits, but at this stage of the game of love, you MUST force yourself to ignore what he’s said and also done on the porn issues. My husband masterbated to live porn stars via the internet almost two years ago. He’s going through a late midlife crisis and has really put me on a wild painful merry-go-round, especially after 34 years of marriage. I’ve realized how much greif it has… Read more »

ashley
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ashley

Trish..thank you! I needed to hear that. And I needed support to move on and let go. I am proud of you and your strength. My husband says he only wants and needs me and I need to believe in him. Not all men are pigs and I need to look at him and our relationship as ours and not compare to anyone else. Thank you for empowering me.

susan
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susan

Renee do you believe that a wife and husband if in a healthy relationship can only desire each other as long as they have a healthy emotional and physical relationship. Even after years of being together. I dont want to believe all men look elsewhere.

Renee Wade
Guest
Renee Wade

Hi Susan,

I believe the first part of what you said – that a husband and wife can only desire each other.

Getting to that place though…is beyond what most people would be willing to put in to a relationship to achieve.

For many, desiring others is the better or easier option for them.

It’s not about turning ‘off’ the desire either…it’s about meeting your partners needs the way THEY need them met consistently and in NEW ways so that you both can’t help but be each other’s raving fan.

xo

susan
Guest
susan

My husband says he only desires me and only fantasizes about me. An attractive person is just that..he says he doesnt think sexually about them.he says I have to trust him and let go of fear but that is hard to do when guys like the one who just posted above say men will always look at others. I am a pretty women who used to be confident. How do I get it back. How do I trust he only wants me. I want to believe him when he says I t is just me. I dont want to think… Read more »

trish
Guest
trish

You need to embrace your TWO dimensional self. The DARK side and the LIGHT side like Renee says in her article. Be the new you. Love yourself first and do your utmost to ignore anything that he does that has or does upset you. Show your man that you can soar to the stars. Don’t live in fear of losing him. When we hold on to something in fear of losing it, we will lose it because we allow those tensions to fester between us for hanging on so tightly. We must let go of our fears and embrace our… Read more »

susan
Guest

Renee I love your insight. I have always been a secure confident women but now fear that my hisband is attracted to others. Its hard when all the men I am around talk about how they always look and fantasize about others. And there seems to always be half naked women eveeywhere. My husband says he has no desire to see others since we have found each other. Your article is helping me believe that.

Joe
Guest
Joe

it is more like the women can’t commit to just only one man anymore.

Blessing
Guest
Blessing

Hi renee,i have been reading your blog and newletters, you have been really wonderful,but there is one thing that happened to me lately and has made me wonder why men still cheat even when they say they love you.i have been in a relationship with this guy for about 3 years now,there has been ups and downs. few days ago i found out he was cheating on me,and i asked him why. because i didnt even know he was,he didnt act differently,he has always showed that he loves me and he cares,and have never had any course to doubt him.… Read more »

trish
Guest
trish

Men go through a mid life crisis, some at different stages in life, some in their early 30’s like my ex-husband, some in their 40’s like my son, and some in their mid to late 60’s just like my husband I have been married to for 34 years now. They will ALL do things that will be hard for us to understand. Sometimes it is a very bitter pill to swallow. But all I can say is take Renee’s advice, especially the one about embracing your DARK side as well as your LIGHT side. Most of all, use protection if… Read more »

Denise
Guest

The article was nicely put, thanks for the reminder, We are fearfuly and wonderfully made, as Shirley Ceasar sings” You been tellin lies” but I know the truth.My brother Sanford Jenkins Jr. says” I’m a magnificent source of energy and positive revitlization”,And my Pastors Clfton and Antionette Sawyer says”,I am a Powerful Infinite being”, and me? I say ” I am That” It’s all Good! Be Blessed and Thanks again.

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