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Article updated 2018
There’s a myth that all you need to do is be a nice girl or a “good person”, and then, everything you want will follow, and line up for you. Including a handsome prince who adores you.
This, in fact, is untrue. Don’t you know of anyone who is a really nice person, and yet still didn’t get what they “deserved” in life, their career, or their love life? I do. If I had a gold coin for every time I heard someone say: “Why do BAD things happen to GOOD people?!” Do you know how rich I’d be?
So, the conventional idea of just being a good person is enough really needs to be challenged. Perhaps there is another path; a secret path or a forbidden rule of success in dating and relationships that we are never told because it’s taboo. Remarkable men and loving husbands don’t come in to your life and STAY in your life without commitment on your part. Commitment to continuously being the kind of woman who that kind of man would want to be with.
So this means there can be no: “this is how I am, accept me or leave”. Or “This is how I am – deal with it”.
Is there a shortage of GOOD men?
Many single women bemoan the fact that there aren’t enough good men. This ONLY needs to be true for you if:
1) You SETTLE for this belief; or
2) You are not showing up as the kind of woman who is sure to attract the man of your dreams.
If YOU do not take the time to see the good in men, you are settling for a false sense of superiority. People in this position tend to be quite self-righteous. I hear it all the time from men and women: “oh, I don’t see why a woman WOULDN’T like me.” “Oh, men are PIGS.”
YOU will only attract mediocre men when dating or a mediocre man out of your current partner if YOU don’t do whatever it takes to get the relationship or man of your dreams. People end up in unfulfilling relationships because they have terrible (low) standards.
And I’m not talking about the kind of standards that lead you to say “oh well, I have high standards for men!” And be really proud of it and then you sit on your butt and do nothing. WAITING never got anybody anywhere.
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No-one ever got a good man for just bitching and whining. (read my article about why women fail to attract men)
If we did, it would be easy. And if it was easy, everyone would have a fulfilling relationship for the long-term. And if everyone had an ultimately fulfilling relationship, then the fulfilling relationship would be devalued.
Some women let good men go or force men away, because of a lack of humility (among other things). A lack of character. One must push through resistance to grow, and to become MORE as a woman, so that you can attract a good or better man. And when you DO do this, guess what happens? You suddenly become deserving of this good man.
The rule of success…
This is the taboo solution. The forbidden rule of success, as simplistic as it may sound. This is what most people would rather not hear, and most parents would rather not tell their children. After all, it produces a much warmer and fuzzier feeling to hear that it would just all come together for us if we were just nice, good people.
The truth is that it’s not enough to just be a ‘good’ person. You can be a ‘good’ person or a ‘nice’ girl, but have poor standards. A poor outlook on relationships.
Like anything in life; once you begin to do something, to strive for something such as the ultimate fulfilling relationship – you will be met with resistance.
So, as difficult as it may be for some women, if you tend to complain about being single, or complain about your husband or boyfriend being lousy – it’s time to stop complaining and raise the standards you have for yourself.
Even if you attract a wonderful man and fall in love, 3-9 months down the track, when all the fuzzy feelings wear off, you’re going to have to find a way to grow and keep this relationship with this person you love so much. Again, if it was all so easy, we would all have it.
It’s like having good money management: if you do not invest, your money is being devalued, year after year.
Here is a quick example:
If you are a 10 out of 10 woman – will you date a man who is a 5/10? And I don’t mean looks. The answer is of course, a No. Because you know you deserve better. Not only this, but you would naturally ATTRACT better.
JUST maintaining the status quo is not an option if you want the best. Whether that be in your relationship or in your life in general. You must always be bringing more to your current situation; to be improving it.
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Over to you now, lovely. Yes you! 🙂
What do you think?
Do you think there are lots of good men out there?
Or do you think there is a shortage of good men?
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