There’s a myth that all you need to do is be a nice girl or a “good person”, and then everything you want will line up for you.
(Including finding the man of your dreams.)
This is not true. Don’t you know of anyone who is a really nice person, and yet still didn’t get what they “deserved” in life?
If I had a gold coin for every time I heard someone say: “Why do bad things happen to good people?!” Do you know how rich I’d be?
So, why does being a good woman or a nice girl not let you get the man of your dreams?
Because being nice does not equate to value.
Most people choose to be nice to conform to the identity they have of themselves. They think it’s important to be nice, so they make sure that their actions align with their identity.
If they stepped out of line and acted rude or mean, they wouldn’t be able to face that fact. What this tells us is that most of the time, being nice is not for others. It’s for ourselves.
The real truth is that the conventional idea of just being a good person is actually boring.
Perhaps there is another path. A secret path or a forbidden rule of success in dating and relationships that we are never told because it’s taboo.
Remarkable men and loving husbands don’t come in to your life and STAY in your life without deeper understanding of how men work, and without a true commitment on your part to add value to the relationship.
Is there a shortage of GOOD men?
Many single women bemoan the fact that there aren’t enough good men. This ONLY needs to be true for you if:
- You SETTLE for this belief; or
- You are not showing up as the kind of woman who attracts the man of your dreams.
If you do not take the time to see the good in men, you are settling for a false sense of superiority.
People in this position tend to be quite self-righteous. I hear it all the time from men and women: “oh, I don’t see why a woman WOULDN’T like me.” “Oh, men are PIGS.”
The answer to finding the man of your dreams is that firstly, you need to appreciate the masculinity in men.
The more you can appreciate men, and the masculinity in men, the more you will be attractive to men.
Because men aren’t perfect, and they know this within themselves. So they also appreciate a woman who can appreciate his masculinity without judging him or making him wrong.
See, this part is a little easy to forget. Women are quick to write men off as assholes and point the finger when they cannot find love.
This is a mistake, and may I suggest that it’s an easy one to fix!
Here is an article I wrote on Will I Ever Find Love? Fix These 4 Innocent Mistakes To Find Love.
Finding The Man Of Your Dreams: It’s NOT about THIS…
It’s now about having “standards” for men.
Yes, people often talking about raising your “StAnDaRdS” for men.
Look: standards are for YOU. Not others.
You won’t find the man of your dreams just by raising your standards for men. That’s called entitlement.
Instead, a much better, more high value way to actually attract the right man for you, is to raise your own standrads.
How Do You Raise Your Own Standards?
You raise your own standards by learning how to show up as a high value woman to men in dating.
Let me ask you an important question:
Do you think men perceive more value in you, if you walk around thinking to yourself (or saying to men) that you’ve raised your standards for men?
How does this directly benefit them?
So, when I say raise your standards for yourself, I’m not talking about the kind of standards that lead you to say…
“Oh well, I have high standards for men!”
And be really proud of it and then you sit on your butt and do nothing.
See, WAITING and thinking thoughts about how others should be never got anybody anywhere.
Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…
High Value Women Attract High Value Men
Some women let good men go or force men away, because of a lack of humility (among other things), and a lack of character.
One must push through resistance to grow, and to become MORE as a woman, so that you can attract a good or better man. And when you DO do this, guess what happens? You suddenly become deserving of this good man.
The rule of success…
This is the taboo solution; the forbidden rule of success. As simplistic as it may sound, this is what most people would rather not hear, and most parents would rather not tell their children.
After all, it produces a much warmer and fuzzier feeling to hear that it would just all come together for us if we were just nice, good people.
The truth is that it’s not enough to just be a ‘good’ person. You can be a ‘good’ person or a ‘nice’ girl, but have a poor outlook on relationships.
The rule of knowing how to find the man of your dreams is this: be high value and add value by building these two things:
Emotional attraction and emotional connection.
That’s it. It’s that simple, because it’s these two things that make a man want to take care of you.
The first step towards doing this is understanding that to truly connect and attract men, you have to shift from a ‘good girl’ mindset to a girl who can access her dark side in order to connect with the part of men where all his passion and masculinity resides.
You can’t always be ‘nice’ and expect to create a real connection with a man. That’s not how men work.
And this is not about sexuality either. It can INCLUDE your sexuality, but it is moreso about depth.
Specifically, depth of emotional attraction and depth of emotional connection.
(And you cannot get depth by always being nice.)
Here’s the bottom line:
It is these two things that help you form that pair bond with a guy and naturally inspire him to stay in your life, rather than just have him string you along.
Remember: It’s About The Standards You Have For Yourself!
If you are a 10 out of 10 woman, would you date a man who is a 5/10?
And I don’t mean looks. The answer is of course, no! Because you know you deserve better. Not only this, but you would naturally ATTRACT better.
So, use this as fuel to go out there are be a woman of value to men. Because most women are waiting and hoping.
In fact, a lot of women have this belief that if they were just passive, and were “feminine enough”, that men would flock to them in droves.
No, it’s not just about being feminine. Feminine energy is one thing that raises your value as a woman for a relationship. But it’s only a small part of the overall package.
After all, plenty of super feminine women cannot keep the man of their dreams.
This is because finding the man of your dream, or attracting a mate, is not something that comes by being passice. That’s actually the worst thing you could do.
The little secret that women who are successful in love don’t tell each other is this:
You have to be out there (online or in person dating), actively creating a sense of emotional connection and emotional attraction with men!
Without these two things, you will never attract a man who is serious about you.
So how can you do that?
Also, I have a complete guide on the steps you need to take to know How To Find A boyfriend.
By the way, I also want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!
Over to you now, lovely. Yes you! 🙂
What do you think?
Do you think there are lots of good men out there?
Or do you think there is a shortage of good men?
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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