How To Become The Kind Of Woman Men Want To Marry
Before I begin, let me just share a few extracts taken from an anti-marriage website:
“My wife was a frigid, shriveled b***h. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only f***s when she “feels sexy.” Translation: when I give her jewelry. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.”
“What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why the f*** should I get married”
“We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my f****** ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don’t throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying f****** kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister’s house to watch movies.
She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn’t count as “Her time” because she’s with the baby.
I’ve had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so ‘entitled’ now it’s like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my ‘social’ time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change F****** DIAPERS”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY ANSWER
Hi there 🙂
I hope you’re having a lovely day and I haven’t thrown you off with those comments above!
Now I am sure that, even just by reading these words you can see the frustration, resentment and anger inside these men.
(Please note: Whilst I acknowledge that marriage takes 2, and that men need to step up and take charge of their own actions as well – this website is for women. So I focus mainly on what can be done from the woman’s end).
It’s true; if I was a man in this day and age, I would be quite put off marriage to many of the the modern women in the Western world.
Truth be told, the state of our society has done some really bad things to the balance of masculine-feminine and to the values of women and men. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
The reason why men do not marry is actually really simple. A lot of men feel that there is nothing in it for them!
And what IS in it for them when they don’t have a good woman?
The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority.
In fact, most women place their children at the top of their priorities.
Which may seem like the best thing to do.
Men Can Resent A Wife Who Doesn’t Prioritise Them
And as a mother of 3, I totally understand that children have to come first even if you sometimes don’t want to put them first.
Children are needy of us. It makes complete sense that they take up most if not all of our energy and time.
Only, men can grow to resent this as their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.
In the meantime, their man feels neglected.
I would argue that men need to be closer to their wife and be more attuned to the sheer magnitude of the job that is childrearing.
Sex and couple time is just not on the cards the way it used to be for many married couples with children.
This is because of the limited resources and the lack of a ‘tribe’ to help take care of the children.
However, there’s a difference between being limited in couple time and not trying to understand your man at all.
Try To Understand Your Man
The hardest thing to do as a woman and as a wife, is to find the emotional resourcefulness to meet your man where he is at (in his mind and body).
Even more important is the fact that most women just have no idea how men work.
They do not understand them, and most of them do not want to understand them.
They are too desperate to be understood first.
And, I understand.
But there comes a time where a man would also like to feel heart, understood and nurtured.
Many women are too busy attending to their other tasks or priorities.
However, just as you want to be understood; so does your man!
It’s important to not be a man-hater, or a man-basher and stop putting everything down to “Men just want sex”.
This is not always true, and true love does exist.
What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…
How To Become Marriage Material
So how do you become the kind of woman men want to marry? I will give some strategies below:
Stop thinking of only yourself.
If you are under a lot of stress as a married woman, try to find a way to give to yourself and fill your needs up firt.
This is so that you can have the room to understand how he may be feeling.
(By the way, most people think that watching reality TV or other trashy TV is giving to themselves.)
Whilst it CAN be, let me ask you this:
Does it actually add value to you?
Does it increase your value to your man?
Or does it just allow you to enjoy comfort?
There’s nothing wrong with indulging in comforts.
But you can’t view them as value-adding habits.
What’s value adding, and what makes you a high value woman, is very different from comfortable habits.
In order to give to yourself, you really need to do the things that will fill you up.
It’s up to you to decide what these may be.
But be honest about them, and don’t forget that what most people consider to be giving to themselves is just an ‘escape’.
This Will Raise Your Value In The Eyes Of Men
Spend 60 days taking responsibility for your man’s needs and seeing things from his perspective, no matter how hard things are for you.
If you do this, he may be more receptive to your needs and you will most likely get him in a different state.
A state where you can bring up the topic of your needs with him.
Understand him, and how he works.
Work out what his needs and values are, and start to understand.
If you’re often defensive, start to seek understanding. Understanding gives you control and empowerment.
We have a program called Understanding Men, click here to get more information about this phenomenal program.
You’ll have a lot more certainty and happiness in your relationship if you start to understand that you DO have control over it. And you CAN make it better.
More importantly, if you know how to meet his needs in a variety of ways better than anyone else ever could – he would have no reason not to want to be with you for as long as possible!
Don’t Treat Your Marriage As A Trade
Relationships aren’t a horse trade.
In any real relationship, the value is in the emotional connection and emotional attraction.
It’s not in how much value you can extract for yourself. That’s a calculation.
So, do not use sex as a commodity.
Do not ever use sex to specifically get what you want from him.
(Especially if you want sex to be, for the long-term, a mutually enjoyable thing that you both share together.)
Also, when you do sleep with him, be real, be honest and be generous.
(If you can’t have sex, I understand. There’s always the option of BJs.)
It is very hard on a man to be sleeping with a woman who wants it to be over, and treats his sexual needs as another “chore” to be done on the list.
It’s important that you make time for him, and for the both of you to be together and to keep the passion alive and kicking.
Raise Your Standards: For YOURSELF!
Have high standards for yourself.
Try to get fit, and eat well.
Treat your body and mind well.
Also, just because you have had a child does not mean it’s a ticket to not be any fun anymore.
As hard as it can be to look after so many things, and to have so many things on your mind, make it a habit to set your standards high.
If you want the great rewards and a fantastic loving husband who adores you, start by adoring him and understanding him.
Understand that a man like his wife to look nice, not just for the sake of looking nice.
BUT because he wants to know that his wife/girlfriend still CARES enough to bother making herself look nice for him.
This goes regardless of age.
Just because a woman is 60, does not mean she can’t look good anymore.
It’s more about never getting “old” on the inside, which then affects the outside.
(I am a wife and mother myself, and totally understand how these things can age you. However, I still try to value being youthful and fun. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.)
How Do You Add Value To Your Man?
These are a few good things that you can do to ensure you are on the right track to being the kind of woman a man wants to marry.
And, it’s not all about getting a man to marry you or commit to you, it’s about starting by giving without expecting anything in return. (read my article about the difference between pleasing and giving)
How can you really give to a man? What do they perceive value in?
For a committed long term relationship, the value is in the emotional attraction and emotional connection.
It’s in the soul to soul connection that you can create by reaching through to him beyond yourself.
Most men aren’t as terrible as so many resentful women say.
They are not “all the same”, and men are happy to be loyal and give to us.
Most of them do want to do the right thing. (Unless they are toxic).
Men cherish a good woman who cares about his needs and gives beyond herself.
Men are not always unreasonable creatures, there are compassionate, caring men around.
And if you think you might be married to (or dating) a narcissist, here is an article on How To Stop Gaslighting In Relationships: Examples, Signs & Cure.
As long as you are with a healthy man, relationships are about giving and connecting.
If you would like to know exactly step by step how to inspire your man to commit to you and marry you, I suggest you sign up to my free commitment masterclass. Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass.
By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!
P.S. Connect with me on social media.
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.