How to Become the Kind of Woman Men Want to Marry

Before I begin, let me just share a few extracts taken from an anti-marriage website:

“My wife was a frigid, shrivelled b***h. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only f***s when she “feels sexy.” Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.”

“What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why the f*** should i get married”

“We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my f****** ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don’t throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying f****** kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister’s house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn’t count as “Her time” because she’s with the baby.

I’ve had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so ‘entitled’ now it’s like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my ‘social’ time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change F****** DIAPERS”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY ANSWER

Hi there 🙂

I hope you’re having a lovely day and I haven’t thrown you off with those comments above! Now I am sure that, even just by reading these words you can see the frustration, resentment and anger inside these men.

(Please note: whilst I acknowledge that marriage takes 2, and that men need to step up and take charge of their own actions as well – this website is for women, so I focus mainly on what can be done from the woman’s end).

It’s true; if I was a man in this day and age, I would be quite put off marriage to many of the the modern women in the Western world. Truth be told, the state of our society has done some really bad things to the balance of masculine-feminine and to the values of women and men. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

The reason why men do not marry is actually really simple. A lot of men feel that there is nothing in it for them!

And what IS in it for them when they don’t have a good woman? The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority.

In fact, most women place their children at the top of their priorities – which may seem like the best thing to do, but men can grow to resent this as their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.

In the meantime, their man gets/feels neglected. Even more important – most women just have no idea how men work. They do not understand them, and most of them do not want to understand them; they’re too busy attending to their other tasks or priorities – in other words, themselves.

However, just as you want to be understood; so does your man! It’s important to not be a man-hater, or a man-basher and stop putting everything down to “Men just want sex”. This is not always true, and true love does exist.

How to become marriage material

So how do you become the kind of woman men want to marry? I will give some strategies below:

– Stop thinking of yourself.

Spend 60 days taking responsibility for your man’s needs and seeing things from his perspective, no matter how hard things are for you. If you do this, he may be more receptive to your needs and you will most likely get him in a different state; a state where you can bring up the topic of your needs with him.

– Understand him, and how he works.

Work out what his needs and values are, and start to understand. If you’re often defensive, start to seek understanding. Understanding gives you control and empowerment. We have a a program called Understanding Men, click here to get more information about this phenomenal program.

You’ll have a lot more certainty and happiness in your relationship if you start to understand that you DO have control over it – and you CAN make it better. More importantly, if you know how to meet his needs in a variety of ways better than anyone else ever could – he would have no reason not to want to be with you for as long as possible!

– Do not deny him sex regularly and do not use it as a commodity; do not ever use sex to specifically get what you want from him, if you want sex to be, for the long-term, a mutually enjoyable thing that you both share together.

Also, when you do sleep with him, be real, be honest and be generous. What do I mean by this? I mean understand him and learn why he wants sex. Don’t do it hoping it will be over soon. He knows this. He feels it. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

It is very hard on a man to be sleeping with a woman who wants it to be over, and treats his sexual needs as another “chore” to be done on the list. It’s important that you make time for him, and for the both of you to be together and to keep the passion alive and kicking.

– Have high standards for yourself.

Get fit, eat well. Also, just because you have had a child does not mean it’s ok to be overweight, depressed or “old” or no fun anymore. My lovely, as hard as it can be to look after so many things, and to have so many things on your mind, make it a habit to set your standards high.

If you want the great rewards and a fantastic loving husband who adores you, start by adoring him and understanding him. Understand that a man like his wife to look nice, not just for the sake of looking nice, BUT because he wants to know that his wife/girlfriend still CARES enough to bother making herself look nice for him.

This goes regardless of age. Just because a woman is 60, does not mean she can’t look good anymore. It’s more about never getting “old” on the inside, which then affects the outside.

These are a few good things that you can do to ensure you are on the right track to being the kind of woman a man wants to marry. And, it’s not all about getting a man to marry you or commit to you, it’s about starting by giving without expecting anything in return. (read my article about the difference between pleasing and giving)

Men aren’t as terrible as so many women say. They are not “all the same”, and men are happy to be loyal and give to us and cherish a good woman who takes care of his needs and gives beyond herself. They are not always unreasonable creatures, there are compassionate, caring men around.

And, your man should do the same, too. Relationships are about giving.

If you would like to know exactly step by step how to inspire your man to commit to you and marry you, I suggest you sign up to my program Commitment Control 2.0. It is the best program of its kind to help women in casual situations to a deeply devoted and committed relationship. Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass. 


  • Darren McLain

    I’m 49 years old. I’ve been married 23 years. I’m not an abuser, an adulterer, or an addict. My wife chose years ago to limit our relationship by playing everything close to the vest and keeping me at arms length. I’ve single-handedly cared for my family for 18 years. I remained true to my commitment even though it was hard, ever hoping things could change. Three weeks ago she served me divorce papers and now I’m looking at paying her for the rest of my life, the rest of her life, or until she remarries. Really? This is the reward for my faithfulness? This is so unjust.

  • The Dude

    As your website is “for women” the sexism just bleeds through…great job. Try reading some Brene Brown…women are the patriarchy.

  • Sean Michael Diggs

    Never won a hand in poker, blackjack, hold em, and if i bet on red it will land on black. I have no luck when it comes to gambling. Id have to be an IDIOT to roll the dice in the greatest gamble of them all, marriage.

  • Charles Hurst

    Wow it seems this lady writing is what we in MGTOW call a unicorn. That’s a good thing my dear. But so rare that us MGTOWs gave up trying to find one.

    Nice article but let me state something. . . for all the non unicorn women out there aka “the modern woman.” If you have to follow these points to get a man to marry you then you aren’t a good woman, you are an actress until the ring is placed. Don’t think we MGTOWs don’t know that. Sorry Renee, the unicorn is the exception but the rule is the rule. I’m almost fifty and still doing ten rounds of thai kickboxing on the heavy bag and lift weights and have the same weight class I had twenty years ago. I’m 25% retired already. I could have a wife anytime I wanted one. And there is NO way I would chance whether the girl I’m with is putting on the act or is really a unicorn. Or a unicorn who may get her horn sawed off by all the other harpies out there. So here is my quote I gave when I found out that I had been a MGTOW (men going their own way) long before I knew there was even a term. Good article and best to you but there are too many bad women out there now. To them I say——-

    ” Just had to say. For the last ten years I have held the attributes of those who have forsaken relationships with the vile, nagging, gynocentric, raging harpy that has become the western woman. And I am equally elusive of the gold diggers outside of the west. I have never concealed my intense dislike for this devolved creature, the “woman” and my willingness and want for nothing more than for her to be gone by sunrise. Especially since I have gained currency by disregarding her over the years to the point where I have accumulated real wealth. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule in the less than fair sex. And I am equally sure I will not chance on finding that small minority.

    Only in the last year have I trolled the internet to see if perhaps others felt as I. By pure accident I fell into Sandman, Angry MGTOW and of course our favorite Aussie from MGTOW 101. I had never heard the term MGTOW and had no reason to convert as I had already witnessed “the light” of being completely non envious of my divorced friends or hopelessly wrecked friends who had long lost their files to cut through the bars of their self constructed prisons. I had been told in the past that the reason for my discontent was my rough childhood with my matriarch and aunts. To which I answer: 1) I have no discontent and am thoroughly delighted in my freedom 2) thank God for my rough childhood as I now have the cynical self defense skills to never fall into the vagina trap of miserable matrimony.
    Alas though I have a name–finally. I do not hide in the shadows.”

  • Vana

    I would ask men the same question. I make my own money. I cook, I clean. I can run a household. So other than sex, what can a man offer me?

    • BlueLanternMonk

      Side a man’s social status and power (see: income) are most important to women and most wives put out less than once a week, there’s nothing that a man could offer an old, fat, infertile woman; better to find a youger less established lady. Lol!

  • Scott B

    It’s simple, for me the risk of marriage is has never been worth the reward. Pretty simple. And now I have proof women think the same way. I’m dating a high earning doctor. I’m an engineer and she makes double what I do. She doesnt want to get married because she is scared to jeapordize everything she built and her future earnings. She admits there is a double standard in media and society that empowers women to be independant and shames men for doing the exact same thing.

  • Mister Alighieri

    Great article. If more women did these things, more men would marry and divorce would be less of an issue. However with divorce being a real threat, many men -good men- are deciding that it isn’t worth the risk. As women have changed over the last 50 years to take on careers and jobs. Many men have also learned to handle the domestic realm well enough. So more men can cook and clean and care for a home without a woman. Sex is easily obtainable via charisma or cash. Companionship can be found amongst friends. So that leaves the desire for children that some men have as the only reason for marriage. And with the biased courts that men face during divorce there is a 50% chance that he will have them taken from him anyway and still be forced to pay. So many young and older men simply forgo marriage and sometimes even relationships with women. There just isn’t anything left in the institution for men any more.

  • Crystal

    I also salute and respect the man above that you quoted and would not take bullshit from his wife and let himself be USED. Why?
    Because most men DO NOT STAND UP LIKE THAT. They let themselves be used and manipulated by frigid, lazy wives. Just like the man I love is doing now happily, working his ass off to support that frigid cunt who always says how tired she is and how she needs his help 24hrs/day. He works 11 hours a day sometimes and then stays with the kids at night so that she gets sleep. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

    He is not one, I have many men friends and acquaintances who are the same! The would not choose a sexual, giving and sensible woman but they are married to whiny manipulative frigid bitched and they are completely blind to how they are being used!!

    So yes, good that a man finally woke up and spoke what needed to be said! TRUTH

  • Crystal

    Do not agree!!
    I have been in a relationship with a man with whom I had amazing sex, he was my world to me and I was putting him first before anyone else in my life. He said he loved me….He left me for a frigid woman (or asexual, whatever) who is putting their kids first now and only wanted him to have stability and some kids to raise with his support.

    And he is happy like that. I have learnt men value you more when you DO put yourself first. They also value freedom. He actually told me that ‘our relationship was too ‘intense’. My love was too intense. My attention to him and to our relationship and my passionate love did not help at all.

    Will you tell me men are not asses? Maybe they are not. But from what I have witnessed so far, they are complete idiots because 99% of the time they throw away love and go for what is easy and non exciting. I gave him everything. We had everything. He gave it away and I was left broken.

    • BlueLanternMonk

      Taylor et al. (2000) first proposed the idea of a unique female stress response which they termed “tend-and-befriend.” The tend-and-befriend response is characterized as an oxytocin mediated stress response cascade. There are numerous biochemical and evolutionary explanations for this unique female stress response that would have increased the survival of females and their offspring under conditions of stress and hence increased the chances of subsequent reproduction. Estrogen has been found to increase the effects of oxytocin already in excess in females as compared with males. Testosterone and vasopressin, the counterparts of estrogen and oxytocin, present during the male stress response, “fight-or-flight,” have been found to exhibit the opposite effects of oxytocin.

  • Elizabeth Grant

    Hi Renee, I think you will also find that once men have had their children, they place even less value on women. You will see that in the posts that are in response to your blog, as well as in society. 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and of the 50% of men that are divorced, or getting divorced, those who have children, see no real value in women, even in the mothers of their children. And from there, once they have their kids, they view, and treat, women even worse, even these own very mothers of their children. So how can you ask women to do even more for men, whilst men treat women worse now than ever before. In your blog above, you will see, if you analyse it carefully, that women don’t really dote so much on their children any more, as there is so much more out to life than there was in the old days. There is more to do than just live for the children. So why does this man still resent his wife, and resent having to work and support his wife and child? There is more to that story than meets the eye. I am sure his wife would love to spend more time with him and dote on her husband more. That is what society teaches us to do today, and that is actually so much fun. to have your husband/partner as your best friend and so much fun with him. So why doesn’t she? Again, time to go back to the drawing board….

    • BlueLanternMonk

      Lol, bb! You’re correct, about me. I cuckolded a good man, at no personal expense and I’m a motherless misogynist. 70% of American men ages 20-34 aren’t married and women lose 90% of their ovarian eggs by the age of thirty. You’re a cutie! Women should be property, like the virtually useless, Affirmative Action sponging, animals that you are and always will be.

      • Elizabeth Grant

        You are insane. Have you no better purpose with your life? You don’t even know who, and what, you are talking to. Rave on in lunacy. You are on the wrong forum here. You missed the boat.

        • BlueLanternMonk

          I’m a strong swimmer, like the sperm that I cuck’d a good man with and unlike Affirmative Action recipient’s, such as white woman and all other nigger’s. I like how you have such soft and squishy emotes for me, honey! Go make me a casserole; after you service my other needs, which are your only real use, outside of reproduction. You’re to be property, little girl!
          ‘Women like bad boys, but just how bad? According to a new study, the most self-absorbed men may be the best choice for women who desire reproductive success.
          A group of researchers from Jagiellonian University, Krakow, University of Liverpool, and the University of Turku, Finland, decided to take a look at some of the darkest personality traits recognized in humans, and how they impacted reproductive success. The “Dark Triad” is a group of three personality traits — narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. The “dark” part is that those scoring high on these traits are implied to have malevolent qualities. These personality traits are also associated with certain physical features, as well, leading to the “dark and brooding” stereotype.’

        • BlueLanternMonk

          I love you too, as a sex object. You girl’s are saying literally the same thing, two comment’s in a row. I don’t have a feemale brain, unlike our feemale voting majority; with its larger emotion and communication center’s. I have larger sex and aggression center’s, as a man – the apex predator of Earth. I’m offering you two how’s the solution. 54% of American women voted for Hillary Clinton and she’s a self proclaimed feminist and only men may be conscripted. Women’s happiness is way down…..look it up, bitch! Smash them titties together, like I like?

  • Elizabeth Grant

    Hi Renee, I have been reading your posts and blogs and emails with interest, as yours is a topic that has interested me for over 20 years, whilst I have lived around the whole world, and been married twice, in addition to having been in several relationships, from the age of 18. What still baffles me, is the age-old, ‘how to be the most perfect woman for a man possible’. In reading this post above, it is all still about how women should please men, when I think the whole feminist move (which I totally hate) started with women feeling short-changed, over-stretched, and undervalued. We have still not, in reading your article above, evolved from that, and managed to create more meaningful and lasting relationships with men. In addition to that, I work in property, and with thousands of people annually, in their personal homes and lives, for a period of over 22 years. I have only ever met 12 stay-at home mom’s in this period, spanning several continents! Most men these days expect a woman to work, and share 50% of the household expenses, even though women only, if in top positions, still earn about a maximum of 70% of what men earn in the same positions. Most women earn less than theirs husbands/partners, but still have to fork out 50% of the costs, and you will find that men still don’t buy groceries, and clothes for the children, and leave this to women to buy, in addition to the women’s share of the 50% other expenses. Now you can add the pressure of social media to this, pressuring women into looking as good as celebrities at all times of day, and the ‘instant gratification’ of Facebook, Twitter, date-sites etc, whereby if the woman does not have the time to spend on a man’s ego all day, with back-and-forth messages and nude photos, there is another lady, or more, on stand-by, to do so, and what is in it for women these days? In addition to that, men are not interested in getting to really know women any more, and investing time, energy, attention and money on them. They have their own busy lives to lead, and are mostly interested in women when they are bored or idle, after working long weeks, and then they only want instant company, sex and perhaps money from this person on the days that they have nothing else to do, and they DO NOT want to invest more time and energy, than just for those times.i really think that this whole topic about how to be more feminine and divine is based on the wrong foundations. I think women should be taught to go back to the drawing board, and be taught how to CHOOSE a man more wisely, rather than be told how to be the perfect wife for an unsuitable man. The example you used above cannot represent more than 10% of partnerships/marriages in today’s society. It is outdated, and irrelevant to MOST women out there. I believe we should go back to basics. It’s pointless trying to coach a woman to be her best with a less than suitable man. Did you not realise than men also evolved? Most of them don’t view women in the same light any more. They now want as much out of a woman for even less in return than before. The whole approach is outdated and needs to be reviewed, if REAL value were to be added.

    • BlueLanternMonk
      *Nigger’s of every shade are the women of race and our voting majority of feemales arethe nigger’s of gender. Only men are required, by law, to register for Selective Service and only men may be conscripted; therefore, only men should be able to vote. White men are the only non-minority class and don’t and receive Affirmative Action; as such, only white men have any merit in the workplace!*
      ‘It’s the bitterest of ironies: thousands of men who’ve given up work to care for their children are being ditched by their high-flying wives – who wanted them to stay at home in the first place. At the time it seemed like a good idea. After all, Richard Dean told himself, he was earning less than his wife Louise, a high-flying marketing executive. And did it really matter who was at home to look after their children? With that in mind, it was not such a difficult decision for him to give up his career as a manager in the manufacturing industry to look after their ten-month-old son, Jack. He hoped it would bring them closer together as a family. In reality, it sounded the death knell for their marriage.’
      Women supported Clinton over Trump by 54% to 42%. This is about the same as the Democratic advantage among women in 2012 (55% Obama vs. 44% Romney) and 2008 (56% Obama vs. 43% McCain).

      By 53% to 41%, more men supported Trump than Clinton (the 12-point margin is identical to the margin by which women supported Clinton).
      Introducing affirmative action causes a substantial increase in the number of female competitors, and this supply effect reduces the cost of requiring equal representation of women.
      Despite decades of striving for gender equality, there are still large differences between men and women in the labor market. Women are more likely to hold clerical or nurturing jobs while men are more visible in manufacturing. Across fields, men are disproportionately found in professional and managerial occupations. Even among graduates of top tier business schools, female MBAs are more likely to work in the non-profit sector, to work part time, or to drop out of the work force entirely. One theory suggests that women are underrepresented in many high-profile jobs, and across entire professions, because of the way they respond to competition: men are eager to compete, while women often shy away from competitive environments.
      In How Costly is Diversity? Affirmative Action in Light of Gender Differences in Competitiveness (NBER Working Paper No. 13923), authors Muriel Niederle, Carmit Segal, and Lise Vesterlund devise a series of experiments to investigate how affirmative action might affect participants’ willingness to compete, and at what cost. Specifically, they observe 42 men and 42 women at Harvard who competed in a timed tournament involving adding series of 5 two-digit numbers. The tournament rules under affirmative action required that out of two winners, at least one must be a woman. Niederle and her co-authors find that when women are guaranteed equal representation among winners, as in this case, more women and fewer men enter competitions – and the response is even larger than one might predict given the changes in the odds of winning. The response is explained by the affirmative action competition being more gender specific: for example, to win the competition a woman only needs to outperform the other women.
      Twenty-two percent of American men without college degrees have not worked at all in the last 12 months, according to The Economist, and a small but significant number may have dropped out of the workforce entirely and now spend their days playing video games.
      That’s about 20 million unemployed US men, of which 7 million aren’t even looking for work, the New York Times reported last year.
      Erik Hurst, an economist at the University of Chicago, thinks a number of them are now playing video games full time, according to The Economist:
      They are not leaving home; in 2015 more than 50% lived with a parent or close relative. Neither are they getting married. What they are doing, Hurst reckons, is playing video games. As the hours young men spent in work dropped in the 2000s, hours spent in leisure activities rose nearly one-for-one. Of the rise in leisure time, 75% was accounted for by video games. It looks as though some small but meaningful share of the young-adult population is delaying employment or cutting back hours in order to spend more time with their video game of choice.
      For Women Who Want Kids, ‘the Sooner the Better’: 90 Percent of EggsGone By Age 30. By the time a woman hits 30, nearly all of her ovarian eggs are gone for good, according a new study that says women who put off childbearing for too long could have difficulty ever conceiving.
       Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”
      “Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the  former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.
      The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews “They’re not understanding how important it is for the culture, for society, for the strength of the nation to have strong families.”
      She pointed out that there’s “no data” to back up the common assertion that a lack of jobs during and after the Great Recession is the primary reason so many young men have been reluctant to tie the knot. “The problem with marriage was long before that,” she pointed out. After decades of feminism, Crouse noted that young men are now the ones who set the parameters for intimate relationships, and those increasingly do not include a wedding ring.

  • wolfgang548 .

    Gentlemen, this may seem a little awkward at first to some of you, but Google this article title, ” Why Get A Transgender Girlfriend.” it’s about 3 minutes long but well worth the read. It may open your mind to something new, and better.

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