Article updated 2018

There’s No Such Thing as a Home-Wrecker

It always disappoints yet amazes me the number of women and men who blame and hate on “the other woman” or “the other man”. Yes, affairs and cheating are heart-breaking, and for most couples, it’s the kiss of death.

It makes me cringe when I hear of the wife or girlfriend screaming at the other woman, blaming her, and asking how could she/he do this!? Don’t they have any respect? What normal person with morals would tempt a husband or wife?

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Though I understand the pain of being cheated on (I’ve been through it myself), and I can understand that in those moments of vulnerability and pain, that we want to lash out at the “other woman”, it’s actually got nothing to do with the other woman.

There is no such thing as a home-wrecker simply because if a third party can enter the relationship bubble, then your relationship was weak to start off with. There is no such thing as a home-wrecker because if it was all based on another person ‘tempting’ our partner, or entering our partner’s proximity with bad intentions, then no relationship would ever work out, and we might as well never have an intimate relationship, and they would never be worth it, and we could all remain single. (read my article about if you keep doing this you will always be single)

This is like constantly fearing you’re going to be robbed. Imagine what this would do to your state of mind. You may not always actively worry about someone stealing your man, but if underneath you have the idea that other women are threats to you, then your whole world is going to be unbalanced, and you will ultimately experience suffering within yourself and in your relationship.

Tell me, what exactly is the point of being in an intimate relationship if other people can threaten your position as husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend so easily?

The problem is that a lot of women fear the apparently more attractive woman having the ability to take their man. Take a look at the brouhaha surrounding Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

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It’s easy for women to look at another woman, and think that her beauty, status and enchanting disposition are a threat. Then the jealousy ensues…..and the controlling behavior surfaces…..and worse still; women start to cause themselves suffering and pain. Regardless of whether or not someone like Angelina Jolie or the gorgeous girl next door have bad intentions with your husband or boyfriend, a successful and passionate relationship will thrive and remain strong.

I understand that another woman disrespecting your position as girlfriend or wife is disappointing, and yes, a lot of women do get a big rush from seeing if they can steal a man from a woman, and this is not right. I’m not making this behavior OK.

However, it’s ultimately about the relationship, and the man you are in a relationship with. It’s his decision to value the relationship. It’s his perception and values that matter in this situation. As soon as you blame the other woman, not only is this not classy, it completely strips you of your power as a woman. Power to learn and grow and do what’s best for your relationship. If you blame a third party for something that is ultimately your own responsibility – your relationship – then all hope is gone. You are supposed to have the power in a relationship, not a third party. A woman who knows the power of femininity knows this.

Other women are simply not threats and should not be to a loving and passionate relationship where there is a lot of attraction already. Ultimately, if we choose to see other people as a threat to our special relationship, then we cannot be empowered. We cannot do anything about it, and we’ll end up in disappointment.

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Hint: Know who you are in a relationship with. Don’t get in to a relationship with somebody who you know doesn’t value their relationship as first priority.

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Do you think the notion of a home wrecker is an out-of-date idea?

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Alexis Garcia
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Alexis Garcia

You’re thinking in terms of the relationship or the 2 in the relationship, but did you forget the fundamental issue with a homewrecker (because they do exist) is that they specifically want a man or woman IN a relationship. If they wanted a single person like a NORMAL person then they wouldn’t be a “homewrecker”. People make mistakes and relationships can be mended but a homewrecker is still at the end of the day messed up in the head. No normal woman wants a man who is taken and vice versa. Let’s set a situation where a man in a… Read more »

alex
Guest
alex

for fucks sake most men are whores! Him staring at other women is a clue! So is the porn, he always feels the need to fantasize and masturbate to other women. The constant stream of cheating men in celebrity news. If you really need more proof, make a dating or craigslist profile or even an escort profile seeking married men, youll get so many responses you wont have time to read them all. WAKE the fuck up. Men dont love you and marriage is but a sexist institution.

Joel Rosenblum
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Joel Rosenblum

I dunno what led me to read this randomly. I’m just one man, but I do think I speak for many, if not most men, when I say that although I would try mightily to avoid temptation, there is most certainly a level of temptation which I cannot guarantee I could avoid. Don’t forget that we humans are still full of lower mammal instincts and even reptilian stuff. Our neocortex is not always in control. It’s really easy to say, “I would never do xyz.” But the truth is, there is almost certainly a possible situation in which you would… Read more »

alex
Guest
alex

men are very primitive minded and if they are HONEST I really have no problem with them sleeping around or whatever. The problem is that they INSIST on putting on a “good guy” persona and expect complete loyalty from a woman, all while sneaking around. This is most married men. If men were truly “in love” with a woman, they wouldnt do this. Dont lie, dont hurt others. anything else you do I dont care.

Joel Rosenblum
Guest
Joel Rosenblum

It is not a question of loving someone enough. In fact the ppl you love the most r the most likely for u to hurt.

alex
Guest
alex

yeah maybe for you idiot MEN. Men are high sex, low empathy, low self awareness, low interpersonal skills. They do not love. A dog would be a better companion.

Joel Rosenblum
Guest
Joel Rosenblum

Stats show women cheat just as much so i guess u are coming from a place of personal hurt and applying it as some type of unscientific prejudice. Point is, humans are not perfect. So whenever you place your heart in someone else’s hands, be ready for misery. Even if they never betray you, you will be separated by force at some point.

alex
Guest
alex

you are quite the mansplaining idiot. Men cheat more, always have. They also molest, rape, steal, kill,defraud and do every terrible thing more than women as well. I have zero interest in giving my “heart” to a male. Romance and marriage are only a sexist institution designed to control and own women
No thanks.

Dyck Wayne Andrew
Guest
Dyck Wayne Andrew

Hello everyone,I used every opportunity to share my testimony even if it does relate to the topic shared or not. I’m sending my testimony to someone out there that is either in my shoe or need help one way or the other. i want to share with you all about my relationship breakup which almost lead me to frustration and unhappy life experience,i got married to my wife 4years ago and my wife and i have been living happily with our baby boy,but few months ago my wife started behaving strange to me, unknown to me that she have been… Read more »

Matryoshkadollie
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Matryoshkadollie

You’re taking the side of the other woman? Seriously?

Renee Wade
Guest

Good to see you reading your own meanings in to someone else’s words. You should read what I wrote. above.

Richard
Guest
Richard

are you serious?? whether man or woman, you should respect the sanctity of marriage. i must assume you’ve done it and like my ex, think it’s fine to steal someone else’s partner for your own carnal pleasures. it’s people like you that make the world the way it is now.

MoSpa
Guest
MoSpa

I agree to an extent. However, taking ‘some’ of the blame away from the third party is not allowing them to be held accountable for their bad choices and negative behavior; especially if they knowingly and willingly decided to pursue and/or continue the affair.

Cole Elizabeth
Guest
Cole Elizabeth

Are you having problems with your lover ? Depressed?I have been in same situation with the father of my kids and was worried when he was seeing another lady outside our wedlock. With my depression and anger, i went online to search for solutions when i stormed across a testimony regarding my own problems at home, i contacted this great man, who confined and guaranteed me that i will be reunited with my husband with 48hrs of his prayer section, Behold, My husband came home after 2days, apologizing to me and the kids for his negligence and uncaring attitude towards… Read more »

MadamX2016
Guest

You are very young. There really is a big difference between a relationship and a marriage. Eventually every marriage has to reach a companionship stage, but not every relationship moves beyond the superficialities of sex and that feeling of being in love. Some men and women walk away when the thrill is gone, and some realize there is a thrill in what tomorrow may bring. One must choose to stay in a marriage and no one can judge a woman or a man who decides to not divorce. Too many people have relationship-ADHD. You are very young. You are making… Read more »

Melanie
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Melanie

Whilst the responsibility absolutely lies with the man and the quality of your relationship is the responsibility of both partners, please don’t deny the fact that some women will move in on men who may, at a weak moment, give in to temptation. Most wives will be nervous about this kind of woman because every marriage has days of doubt and uncertainty. My best friend of many years is one such person and she is an absolute master at moving in on any bloke and making herself sexually available as well as undermining the wife because the wife doesn’t give… Read more »

namrata
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namrata

Homewreckers do exist, they can belong to any gender, and they are guilty. A homewrecker doesn’t have to be in a physical relationship with your partner to break your marriage. My marriage was going through a rough patch. My husband had a gambling problem and he would keep on loosing all of our household income. We never had any money left in the bank. My husband was not willing to listen to a counselor because the counselor was advising him to get conservative with investments. I earned as much as my husband, yet he never considered consulting me before making… Read more »

neveragain
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neveragain

Would you feel the same way if the other woman was your best friend? Just curious, because I totally blame both of them. She is by no means innocent. She is completely a homewrecking, backstabbing whore. Talk about a Fucked up story, she was pregnant with her boyfriends baby while fucking my husband.

RW's value = cold bag of excre
Guest
RW's value = cold bag of excre

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. You people are ignorant if you think you aren’t brainwashed by this freak. Her home page makes me feel like I’m being drawn into a cult. Good luck to all of you Renee worshippers, hope you have fun when she piles your dead bodies into a fire pit and roasts marshmallows over the foul smelling flames of your remains. Just remember to brush your teeth before you leave the house. Farewell poor people

Renee Wade
Guest

Pieew, sounds like you need to brush your teeth and freshen your breath before you leave the house, in fact.

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Guest
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

Somebody’s bitter.

RW's value = cold bag of excre
Guest
RW's value = cold bag of excre

Please. Enlighten me with your brilliance and almighty wisdom. I beg of you, do not tell me about some of those successful, passionate, strong relationships. Because I am fully aware that there are those that exist. What I need you to do is tell me about why you feel that nobody can have weak spots in their relationship. Why are WE not all perfect, riding around in golden robes on our pink unicorns, shitting cotton candy and skittles out of our tight little sweet smelling assholes, like you? Because if you have the magic beans that will transform us, I… Read more »

RW's value = cold bag of excre
Guest
RW's value = cold bag of excre

And this idea that you have about “relationships should be successful and passionate” is an even bigger crock of shit than you are. This is simply unrealistic. All relationships don’t have to be that way. That’s not what a relationship is about. Relationships are about finding someone (someone you love of course) and then sticking together “for better or for worse” – even if you are going through a period of “worse” where things aren’t so successful, aren’t so fucking passionate because you are struggling. And that’s just it. You are struggling, maybe even on the brink of splitting or… Read more »

RW's value = cold bag of excre
Guest
RW's value = cold bag of excre

Lol. You guys have officially been brainwashed by this ignorant and seriously deranged sack of shit who claims to be the “author” of the above pile of bullshit that she claims is an “article” HINT: congrats Renee wade on gathering such a large following. Maybe later today, if you aren’t out trying to convince people that it’s socially acceptable to rape newborn babies, you and your zombies could all gather ’round a nursing home and set it on fire before you do the world a favor and commit a mass suicide! Always yours, the girl that you guys can come… Read more »

Cint H
Guest
Cint H

some of you white women deep insidedeep on this blog talking about infidelity and how it is wrong to mess up someone else’s relationship . I noticed most white women don’t have a problem messing up a black woman relationship with her black men. they have no respect for the black woman and her family . she doesn’t care whether there is children involved or not. because white people feel they owe black people no moral responsibility

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Guest
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

What on earth does a person’s colour have to do with this topic?
Answer: None

Stacy
Guest
Stacy

I loved this and I completely agree with you!

Milly
Guest
Milly

Betrayal of trust in any relationship is not acceptable. If a man decides to cheat on his partner then this is a betrayal of trust. It is his choice to do this.Equally he has the choice to NOT cheat on his partner. As for any third parties entering in to an existing relationship where they know that the man has a partner and children then that is also unacceptable. There is no respect for the partner, relationship or the sanctity of the family unit. This is about selfishness, putting the desire and needs of your own before the needs and… Read more »

ToBe Visible
Guest
ToBe Visible

Amen. Truth. The cheating spouse is the one with ultimate accountability. The mistress although very wrong to interfere in a marriage is not the main one to point a finger at. She just can’t be respected ever in my books and either can he. So i guess they’re a perfect match. Hmm if she only knew he kept asking to come home. Narcissit is right sister!

Robert Jones
Guest
Robert Jones

This is not necessarily the truth… It is a justified defense from her grief, which is a logical reaction. But it doesn’t mean it’s the “truth”. You or I, will just have to take ‘her’ word for it, because we couldn’t know either way.

And you’re assuming her subjective perceptions are truth… when, it is neither truth, nor a lie. We’ve only heard one side…. and we’re likely to receive no more from the other parties.

Anna C
Guest
Anna C

Hello Renee, I don’t know if you still read comments on such old articles, but I just want to say thank you, this article saved me today. There is a very aggressive woman (she’s a sexual predator) aggressively pursuing my man, and everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. She’s one of those people you mentioned above that gets a rush from being able to steal another woman’s man. At first it was shocking to me, as relationships are the things I value the most, and for anyone to threaten the sanctity of that, I just cannot… Read more »

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