We love men here. Our intent is not to put the blame on you, as you are not to blame.
We want you to know that we respect the man you are today, and honour you for being a man.
If you find feminine women hard to understand, know that it’s not hard at all. Here is your manual on how to understand women, to ensure that your future relationships don’t fail.
How To Understand Women: Some Insights On Our Emotions
Here are 10 steps to understanding women’s emotions.
1: You’re Good At Solving Problems, But You Might Be Hurting Us
We LOVE that you can solve our problems. Your solutions matter to us, and we know that you are a great problem solver.
Yet most of the time, when we are talking to you, you solving our problems feels terrible in our gut.
Usually this is because there’s actually nothing for you to solve, and what we really need is to get our emotions out.
Once they’re aired out, we can breathe a sigh of relief. It means a lot more to us if you are strong enough to be present with the storm and let it go by.
ANY man can offer to solve our problems, and indeed, a lot of men do. But much fewer men can be present through our storms and feel in to our heart.
2: A Woman’s Truth Lies In What She Feels In The Moment
Women often communicate straight from an emotion. Men communicate through objectivity and that is their truth, but our Feminine truth is our emotions.
So if we say; “Oh my GOD! It’s terrible! What happened tonight at the party was HUMILIATING!”
However, what’s MUCH better is if you acknowledge the truth of our feelings. It’s great if you can realise that you may know that the truth is that it wasn’t humiliating (because you don’t think it is), however we didn’t mean exactly the words that we said.
Our words come from a feeling, so we are sorry if we forget to say “I FEEL humiliated.”
The truth is that we do feel humiliated even if it isn’t the truth and even you would rather we weren’t burdened by that feeling of humiliation.
3: Any Feeling A Woman Has WILL Pass…
ANY feeling we have will pass. We are sorry that it’s so scary when we are upset, but this is such a critical part of understanding your girlfriend or wife.
It isn’t about you. It seems like it is, we know. Indeed, I know that it often does feel like it is about you. But no feeling we have is permanent. All the feelings pass sooner or later.
The more humour you find in the situation and perhaps also in our feelings (and share that humour with us), the quicker they will pass. Because we feel less of a need to hold on to bad feelings just to try to get your attention and presence.
4: Women CANNOT Keep Having Sex Without Getting Attached.
I know your default thing to do as a man is to seek sex without strings attached.
We know also, that plenty of women out there are willing to give you that unattached sex.
But we would respect you more if you also admitted that unattached sex, when done several times with the same woman can hurt her deeply, as her hormones are different to your hormones.
She can get attached quite quickly, without any conscious intent of her own.
Yes, she ‘should’ know better and control her own actions, I agree. However, you’d be more of a man and more trustable if you took women’s feelings and differences into account when you go about your conquests.
5: Women REALLY Value Your Generosity
A man who lives for himself only is a turn off to the best women. The pleaser women and the shallow women might like you.
But a man is far sexier when he is able to and willing to take other people’s situation and feelings in to consideration and act accordingly.
There’s an art to this and I like to call it the art of attunement. The more attuned you are as a man, the more you will know your woman.
The more you know your woman, the better a provider you can be.
6: You Will Feel Your Woman Not Trusting You – A Lot
Getting a woman to trust you can be hard on your part. I’m sorry that it is hard. But it’s usually hardest in the beginning, when you’re both still proving your value to each other.
The truth is that you’re a man, and so women won’t trust you by default, because you have different reproductive interests and agendas to us.
Not to mention, you see the world differently to us! This is such an important par of understanding women: you need to understand that by default, it’s hard for women to trust you, and it’s hard for you to trust women.
This is not your fault, or hers! It just is.
Yet as hard as it is, if you do earn her trust at least most of the time (because it can’t be all of the time and in every single moment), you will own her in a way no other man could.
This is one thing I learned from my man: his emotional commitment to me got deeper over time, and he earned my trust (he also cared a lot about whether I felt safe enough to trust him.)
…Little did I know that his persistence would make me unable to ever open up to another man! His unwavering emotional commitment and hard work put towards making me trust him, eventually made me feel completely owned by him (sexually and spiritually).
7: Women Will Communicate Their Needs Indirectly, Even If We Try Not To!
We will often communicate our needs indirectly. You hate it, but some part of you does love it.
Why do I say you love it?
Because you might stop having sex with us if we told you everything directly.
Imagine if we communicated like men – imagine if we said everything straight out. The polarity between you and her would be gone, because we’d be in our masculine energy more.
I know you don’t want to have to ‘dissect’ every woman’s actual needs from her vague communications, but for the woman you love, you’d do it, right?
(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)
8: We Get A Little Scared When You Ask For Space
We really don’t have any bad intent, however – It’s scary for us when you ask for space or say that you need time to yourself. Because time to yourself could mean days, weeks, even months without close contact.
I know it seems needy. We try not to be needy, we really do..
But the more a woman trusts you and the more a woman wants you, the harder it will be for her to NOT feel fear and pain whenever you are absent.
If we are uptight and hurt when you return, we are very sorry, it’s just that the entire time you were gone, we felt like we were going to die. Literally.
If you’re interested as to why this is…let me explain. Women aren’t detached creatures like men are. Women produce eggs, not sperm. Women make babies inside of their body, and this is a vulnerable act.
In fact, it was my own husband who referred to me having some form of a disability when I was pregnant, just by virtue of being pregnant. As such, we need your presence and your emotional attachment to us to feel complete and safe.
We bear the child, breastfeed the child and raise the child.
This is a very vulnerable task that, unlike you, we cannot get away from once it’s in our body. As such, without us being so vulnerable, we would never ever secure your commitment.
(A commitment that is much needed if we are ever to be really good mothers to your children!)
9: We Remember Things That You Don’t Because We Attached An Emotion To It!
We are sorry that we bring up the past a lot. We don’t always do it to be mean.
It’s just that….we remember details about things you’ve long forgotten, because we attach an emotion to certain memories and fat chance that we will forget it any day soon.
(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)
10: Our Faithfulness To You Is In Direct Proportion To Your Commitment To Us
…And it’s also in proportion to how much you want to own us.
Many people will disagree with me on this. But over time, I feel I have learned that a woman’s faithfulness to you as a man is in direct proportion to your ability and willingness to show up as the trustworthy masculine Alpha Male who has a strong sense of his own direction in life.
The deeper and stronger your masculine energy (which takes practice to gain), the more faithful any woman will be to you. Including the hot ones, and including the beautiful ones.
11: Leave Men Alone Does Not Mean Leave Me Alone.
When we say “leave me ALONE! I hate you!” and walk off, we don’t actually mean leave us alone.
Sometimes we mean leave us alone. But other times, our bodies are aching for that delicious feeling when you come walking after us anyway, saying:
“Come here! Don’t you walk away from me.”
And if you look very closely, sometimes you might see a little smile sneaking its way on to our face when you DO follow us.
We know there are bigger, taller, stronger, richer men out there. But one big reason we even pick on those things (how rich, tall, handsome, confident a man is), is because we feel the man’s masculine energy isn’t strong.
The weaker a man’s masculine energy, the more picky we get. And most of us do not know this consciously ourselves, so most women will just say: “he’s too short” or “he’s too blonde for me.”
13: Good Looking Men Might Get More Sex, But Masculine Men Get Our Devotion.
The richer, better looking men might get a lot of sex with a lot of women (which is what men want in their default state – ie: when they are not falling in love with the woman.)
But it is the most masculine men who are more likely to get a woman’s true devotion.
What is the meaning of this term “true devotion”?
It is where her heart and body are yours for LIFE.
I know that the amount of sex with the highest number of women matters to men. But it really doesn’t in the end, does it?
Quite possibly, the same old emptiness and boringness of life will follow you around until the day you have attracted a devoted woman in to your life.
14: We LOVE Your Competitiveness
It’s hot when we point out how great another man’s skills are at something and you puff your chest out and look deeply in to our eyes with a look that says:
“Think he can do good? I can do better.”
Weaker men get upset and walk off when we do that. And that scares us very much. Not to mention it might be a turn off.
15: Our Unpredictable Emotions Might Make Your Plans Obsolete.
At times, you’ll feel like women can’t make a decision to save themselves. You may have also noticed that we change our mind too often for your liking.
It’s because, again, womens emotions change with their daily interactions and with their cycle and feminine hormones.
You may be better off accepting that women will screw around with you, muck up your ‘well thought out plans’ and accidentally disrespect your timetable. Expect it. You can’t control everything.
16: We have two X chromosomes.
Remember that the next time you think we lack integrity. Remember that the next time you think we are lying just to f*** with you.
We are not lying. We are being very truthful – to our emotions, that is. You are free to date another man though, remember that!
17: Our Communication Doesn’t Have A Point.
Whenever you find yourself in a conversation with your woman thinking “YES! This conversation is going somewhere for ONCE!” – it probably isn’t.
We talk to you just for the enjoyment of connecting, sharing and talking; because it’s energy.
That’s what women do – we share energy and we talk. Connection through talking makes our body feel alive and like butterflies are flying in our tummies.
It helps us feel more and deeper. Which is probably the opposite of what you want. As a masculine soul, you’d rather feel empty of emotion.
But as a feminine soul, we want to fill up with emotion and yes, ok, sometimes with drama too.
Our conversations rarely have a point or purpose from a male perspective. We LIKE it that way. It makes us happy and it makes us giggle. You like us happy, don’t you?
18: Relationship With A Woman Is A Lot Of Responsibility (But So Are You)
Everything women want requires a lot of your energy, I know. But everything men want requires a lot of energy, too. Your struggles and pain with women are not worse than our struggles and pain with men. They are just different.
Here’s a possible test to see whether you’ve got yourself a good, High Value woman.
Use it a few times though before you decide she isn’t relationship-worthy, because it will take her time to trust you enough to respond lovingly.
20: We Are Ok With You Not Knowing All The Answers & All The Directions
When you find a moment where you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, or you are uncertain of something, instead of pretending that you know what you’re doing (we always pick up on it if you don’t), say to her with total certainty and direction in your body:
“I don’t know where I am going at this moment.”
If she freaks out, criticises you or closes down, try again a few times. Give it several months, maybe a year. If she still responds badly, maybe she is better off being some other guy’s girlfriend.
21: We Feel Safer If You Tell Us When You’re Leaving…
Whenever you need to leave or go do something important for an hour, a day, a week, or even months…it makes us feel so much safer and loyal to you if you come to us with a sense of presence and say:
“I’m going to do some work now. I will be back in [insert time]. I may even love you still while I’m gone.” (wink at her or kiss her).
I know that it’s hard for you to learn to say that, as it’s not in your nature unless you’ve practised it many many times.
But how much does her loyalty and trust in you actually matter to you? Is it at least worth a little effort?
See, your woman is pretty much always attached to you in her mind. It’s hard for her to let go, as this neediness is within her so that she can gain the resources necessary to raise your children well.
22: None of what I said above is true.
(….that was just a practice run for dealing with the changeability and perceived lack of integrity of women in relationships.)
This is why attunement is important.
Feminine energy is like the weather. You can’t ask us to rain. You can’t tell us not to storm. And somewhere deep down inside, you prefer your woman that way and you love it. Because the more predictable our emotions are, the more comfortable you feel, (but the less desirable we are).
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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