Do you want to know the signs he is pretending not to like you? Well, it’s important you know that when it comes to liking a girl, most of the time, guys will make it pretty obvious that they like you.
But some guys will pretend not to like you because they have a mission in life, and getting entangled with a woman will completely mess that up.
There’s also a minority of guys in the world who may not have a strong mission in life, yet just cannot seem to let you know that they like you.
Who are these types of guys?
Usually they are the types of guys who:
- Have low self esteem
- Are already married
- Are not very good at reading people
- Are carrying heavy toxic baggage from a past relationship
- Have poor attachment patterns
- Are not very attuned to people; and
- Are just generally nervous
Emotionally healthy, well adjusted men don’t pretend not to like a girl unless they don’t want the trouble of having a woman in their life.
An example of guys like this would be athletes or men who are building their business.
They have a strong masculine direction, and they don’t want to upset that direction, because having feelings for a woman means they will veer hopelessly off-course.
Yeah, men can be frustrating like that. Regardless, I know it helps to know the signs he is pretending not to like you, so that you can be more certain of how he really feels inside.
So let’s learn these 12 concealed signs he is pretending not to like you right now.
12 Concealed Signs He Is pretending Not To Like You
#1: When You Try To Make Eye Contact, He Tries To Look Away Quick.
This means that he doesn’t want to feel too vulnerable to his own feelings for you.
Nor does he want to give you too much insight and awareness into his feelings, so he will overcompensate for liking you by very obviously looking away when you try to make sneaky eye contact with him.
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#2: He Actually Acts Resentful At Times
Yep. It’s not always rainbows and unicorns when a guy likes you (but is pretending not to).
Remember, we could be dealing with a guy who is not so emotionally healthy, even if he’s a generally nice person.
Most guys will make it obvious that they like you. Some will chase you, and some will directly ask you out, or at the very least, try to test your feelings for him.
Yet if this whole situation of him liking you but trying to hide it drags on for ages (and you start to get frustrated with him), a guy who is pretending not to like you may actually resent you for making him have the feels or perhaps for trying to “work out” whether he has feelings for you.
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#3: He Goes Hot And Cold
This is one of the most confusing signs signs he is pretending not to like you. But think about it this way: he may have some fears related to letting you into his life.
Some guys may also harbour a secret fear that he isn’t worthy enough for you.
As such, he has feelings for you deep down, but feels as though he shouldn’t really make advances on you or ask you out.
This makes his behaviour seem hot and cold. So one day he might seem really kind and the other he seems to abruptly pull away.
Confusing and frustrating, isn’t it?
You can also blame the crazy hot and cold behaviour on guys not trusting their feelings. Sometimes for men it’s just safer to choose their mission and their big goals in life than it is to trust how they feel for a girl.
But feelings can be strong. We all know that. So they always find their way out somehow – hence why you’ll see his behaviour go hot and cold.
#4: He Doesn’t Chase You, But He’s Always There If He’s Needed
Remember how we already established that men with a strong sense of masculine mission in their life may not want to veer off course?
Well, this type of guy will never chase you. He just has too much going on, and he has too much value in his own life to just spend his time chasing you.
So instead, he may secretly honour his own feelings for you by being there when you need him, but never asking you out or committing to you.
This also allows him to keep you around. After all, he really does genuinely enjoy your company.
For some guys, it feels like there’s less risk involved in being there for you when you need him, but not committing to you or telling you that he likes you.
Why is this?
It’s because men like to feel useful, (and especially to attractive women).
So by being there when you need help, he gets to feel useful to a woman he likes, and he gets to feel your feminine energy when he helps you.
In general, men don’t mind a bit of feminine energy in their life. Having a very feminine woman around gives him a break from the dead masculine world that a lot of guys live in.
#5: He Protects You
You notice that if other people upset you or try to hurt you, he feels protective of you and tries to help you or cheer you up.
What are some examples of this?
- He looks out for you when crossing a road
- He defends your reputation if someone tries to tarnish it
- He helps you get out of a car or helps you carry heavy things
- He seems to share and resonate with your hatred for others who have wronged you
As you can probably already sense; if a guy does all 4 of the above – and protects you to that extent – then you can consider this to be one of the clearer signs he is pretending not to like you.
#6: You Can Feel Him Getting Jealous
One of the signs he is pretending not to like you is that he seems to feel jealous when you’re talking to other guys or spending time with other guys.
How can you tell if he’s jealous or not?
He completely refuses to talk about other guys with you, even if it’s just general or harmless discussion (can’t control his feelings).
He might derogate other guys who are interested in you.
He might counter your talk about new guys in your life with talk about new girls in his life.
#7: Other People Mistake Him For Your Boyfriend.
Humans aren’t always very good at knowing how their behaviour is perceived by others.
A guy who secretly likes you might think other people are oblivious to the little things he does for you, and pass them off as being “just things that friends do for each other”.
But feelings are feelings, and as humans our actions are motivated by emotion.
What this means is that no matter how hard he tries to fight his feelings for you, the feelings will surface.
This means that his tenderness and the care he feels towards you will accidentally manifest in his behaviour towards you.
Other people may accidentally assume that you two are an item, due to his heightened investment in you.
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#8: He Contacts You A Lot
He never, ever confesses his feelings for you – but he texts and calls a lot.
If a guy is happy to talk to you, this says one of two things:
1: That he’s willing to invest his energy into you; or
2: That he’s just a guy with a lot of spare time on his hands (and nothing else important to focus on).
It doesn’t always mean that this is an obvious sign he is pretending not to like you – but it can be a sign.
The question is though: is this just about friendship? Are you guys really just best friends?
And if you like him a lot, are you perhaps stuck in the friend zone?
Sign #9: Your Mutual Friends Try To Figure Out Whether You Like Him Or Not
Perhaps you’re dealing with a guy who puts on his poker face a lot whenever you try to find out whether he likes you.
Or maybe you’re dealing with a shy guy who doesn’t have the confidence to ask you out or confess his feelings.
Either way, maybe he’s secretly confessed to a mutual friend of yours that he really likes you – and that friend is sworn to secrecy – but he or she still tries to ask you whether you like him or not.
Your mutual friend might make jokes about you having feelings for this guy to try to get something out of you (and then deliver that information back to him).
Or this mutual friend might even say things like:
“Do you have any feelings for him?”
“Do you liiiiiike him do you?”
“What do you think of [guy pretending not to like you]? He’s such a nice guy!”
“You and [insert guy pretending not to like you here] would make a great couple!”
“You know what? You’d be perrrrfect for [guy pretending not to like you]!”
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Sign #10: He Pays You Lots Of Unexpected Compliments
Giving compliments isn’t something that comes naturally to most guys, unless your beauty and femininity is so inspiring and so overpowering that he can’t help but give you compliments.
If he seems to give you a lot of compliments unexpectedly, on things that you assume he would not notice, then perhaps he does secretly like you!
Sign #11: He Plays Push And Pull A lot With You
You may interpret this as him sending mixed signals. But it’s not just that.
If he does this playfully, then it becomes an avenue through which he feels like he’s able to express his interest in you without actually expressing his interest.
Signs He Pretending Not To Like You through Text…
Push and pull comments can also be a signs he pretending not to like you through text…
So what are push and pull comments?
Push and pull are comments that have contradicting meanings. And there are endless examples of this. But just so you can get a better idea of what I mean, here’s an example of a push and pull comment for example’s sake:
“I like your dress, but pity you’re not my type.”
Now, a few words about push and pull comments.
I know that in recent years, there’s been a lot of talk about “toxic masculinity”. And a lot of women these days might consider such communication to be a sign of toxic masculinity – but this is not necessarily true.
Instead of considering these communications that seem to be more commonly adopted by men to be toxic, let’s understand that the truth is something much deeper than that.
The truth is that even good guys use push and pull for good reason – because most of them are masculine at their core, and they don’t want to come across as too needy or too “wishy washy” to a woman they like.
In essence, it is no surprise that men sometimes communicate with push and pull, because this method isn’t centred around feelings, which feels more natural for men (and comes more naturally for men).
Women and men use push and pull – yet whether these people are toxic or not depends on who they are and what their intent is. It’s rarely ever about what you say, it’s about the place you say it from!
Now we’re on to the last of the signs he is pretending not to like you…
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Sign #12: His Christmas & Birthday Gifts Seem To Have Careful Thought Behind Them
When a guy gives you a christmas or birthday gift, it could be just for the sake of giving a gift – because it’s customary to do so.
Or it could be a ‘test’ to see if it appeals to your feelings or not.
Alternatively stated, you may mean a lot to him emotionally – and he put extra thought into choosing a gift for you, so that he could see how you respond to it.
If he does secretly like you and you like him too, then you’ll really appreciate this wonderful gift, right?
Well, when you express your appreciation, notice how he responds.
Does he overcompensate by trying hard to pull away and reduce the sentimental significance of the gift?
Or is he watching very closely and really receiving your joy and appreciation?
Either of these responses could be little secret signs that he likes you but is pretending not to.
We’re now coming to the end of this article, but I cannot finish this without giving you an important disclaimer: if a guy likes you enough, eventually he’ll be falling in love with you.
And when he falls in love – it will become harder and harder to keep him away.
It is not enough that a guy just likes you. It means a lot more if he’s in love with you and is willing and able to commit to you emotionally.
That’s where the real value is for you as a woman.
That is to say that you can look for signs he is pretending not to like you until the cows come home. But truthfully, the best thing for you is to have a guy who is serious about you.
Here’s the truth about men:
Men and women can both keep members of the opposite sex around as back up for later on, and as convenient company and friendship.
This is what we call “the one of many” basket. That’s where you’ll stay if a guy doesn’t fall in love with you.
You don’t want it to be just that. You want a guy to genuinely fall in love with you and make you his one and only. Because if you’re not the one and only woman, then you’ll always just be in the background as the ‘one of many’ woman.
And that’s not a good place to be. So if you want to be in the one and only woman basket, I teach you how to do just that in my program “Becoming His One And Only: 5 Secrets To Have Him Fall In Love & BEG You To Be His One & Only Woman.”
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By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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