How to make him miss you badly?
On one hand, this seems like a manipulative question.
On the other hand, not so much.
Because if you truly want a man to miss you, it probably means that you want him to be invested in you.
…And that’s perfectly normal.
Here’s a video I made for this topic, “How To Make Him Miss You in 5 Simple Steps’…
5 simple steps to make him miss you (…Backed by psychology & research examples).
If you see your desire to answer the question ‘how to make him miss you?’ as a way of making sure that your relationship brings value to his life and yours, then that’s ok.
If on the other hand you are trying to make him miss you just so that you alone can feel more “significant” or important, that may not work out so well for you.
This is because it’s only about you. When we do things in a relationship to get something for ourselves – there’s nothing wrong with that per se. But if that’s our sole focus most of the time, then we do have to pay a price for that.
The price is that when we take too much for ourselves, the quality of the relationship goes down.
When the quality of the relationship goes down, it’s much harder to make him miss you.
What are the two critical elements that will make or break your relationship with a man? These are the two critical elements here.
You have to have the right approach with a man.
With the right approach, you can add value to your man and to the relationship.
When you add value to the relationship basket, that’s when you’ll see things go your way.
Adding value to the relationship basket is exactly how to make him miss you and commit.
When you try to extract attention and validation for yourself, because you feel deeply insecure, then you will erode the trust inside of that relationship.
How to make him miss you psychology: It’s all about your approach
If you approach this as a chance to create mutual attraction and attachment between you both, you will have a much better chance at succeeding at making him miss you badly.
And he will be thankful for missing you. He’ll be thankful for having you in his life.
Not only that, you’ll have a much better chance of sustaining a long-term, passionate relationship (something that doesn’t just fizzle out completely after 3-6 months together.)
In this article, I will show you specific, Psychology-backed ways for how to make him miss you.
If you follow these steps, you may just find that your man cannot stop thinking about you!
Here are the ways of how to make him miss you, in 5 simple steps.
STEP 1: Create novel experiences together with him
To make a man miss you and yearn for you, there will have to be a component of romantic love and emotional attachment to you, inside of him.
In other words, he will miss you more and pine for you more, if he’s in love.
If a man is not in love with you, then you’re probably not a whole lot different from other women in his life. If this is in fact the case, then it’s going to be hard for him to miss you deeply.
He might miss you as a resource for sex, but he won’t miss the soul-to-soul connection you have.
(Just in case you didn’t realise, a man missing you as a resource for sex isn’t really missing you. It’s just him holding onto you as a resource. Of course, that holding on will pass when his one and only comes along.)
You can read more about that in my article “Why Does he Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?”
How to make him miss you psychology: he must be in love with you, not infatuated with you
Now, by “in love”, I don’t mean infatuation. And I don’t mean lust.
A man being infatuated with you is not worth much to you long-term. The feeling of infatuation doesn’t make a man commit to you.
Emotional connection and emotional attraction do.
Infatuation is more of a one-way street. Infatuation is defined as:
“An intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.”
A man admiring you can be more about your radiant feminine beauty or the fascination he has around the things you do that are different to what he does.
Even if an infatuated man tells you “I miss you”, that doesn’t mean he means it.
Many men have gotten very good at using words to seduce women. An infatuated man won’t really miss you because he has any real emotional attachment to you.
Instead, he might just yearn for the feelings he gets when he’s admiring you.
On the other hand, a man feeling romantic love for you is the beginning of a pair bond.
That’s right, romantic love is necessary for a real pair bond to exist. A pair bond is necessary for a man to feel emotionally attached to you (and therefore be liable to miss you badly).
If you would like to learn more about making a man fall in love, then what I would recommend is for you to learn how to become a man’s ‘one and only’ (and not his one of many!).
That’s where all of your answers lie. If you would like to learn the 5 secrets to have any man fall in love with you and BEG you to be his ‘one and only’, you can find out more here in my new program “Becoming His One & Only”.
a genuine pair bond can make him Really miss you
A man feeling romantic love for you, is much more reliable than anything else.
This is because he is forming a pair bond with you (provided you also love him and it’s not a case of unrequited love).
Don’t mistake romantic love for just a passing infatuation or lust.
Yes, romantic love can wane over time. Research shows that romantic love lasts on average 12-18 months.
However, the anthropologist Helen Fisher through her research on the brain in love, has indicated that it can last much longer, depending on the circumstances.
And it lasts longer when there are factors like adversity in that couple’s life.
Adversity, like external events keeping them apart.
Adversity, like their families not wanting them together.
Adversity, like going through difficult challenges together.
Regardless of whether or not romantic love wanes over time…it STILL serves the purpose of bonding a man and a woman together.
Remember I mentioned the pair bond? That pair bond is all about you being his one and only.
It’s this pair bond that then leads to attachment, and the pair bond allows the man and woman to stick together to raise their children.
Infatuation doesn’t give these results! Remember, infatuation is a one way street.
Your job is to have him fall in love, then he will naturally miss you
Since most men have a masculine identity, they are by default more detached than women.
This means that in dating, you can’t expect men to be attached like you would be.
If you’re not dating and you’ve already formed an attachment with this man, then you’re already halfway there.
If you want a man to miss you, it’s a good idea to focus on the emotional attachment he has to you.
And of course, becoming his ‘one and only’ woman. When you’re the one and only, that means he’s fallen in love with you, and then he has every reason to miss you, and it will be natural, not contrived.
You won’t have to rely on leaving a pair of knickers or a jumper with your perfume on it over at his place, and hope that that will just make him miss you. No.
Because when you’re a man’s one and only, he will invest absolutely everything in you. That is emotionally invest in you, mentally invest in you, physically invest in you and financially invest in you.
This is because you’re different from the others.
He would want to be with you emotionally first and foremost, not just sexually. In fact, he will be so attached to you that it’s going to be very hard for him not to miss you.
Research has shown that some 78% of men and 83% of women said of their beloved that knowing that their beloved loved them in return was enough for them.
In other words, these men and women felt that being with them emotionally is enough. They don’t need to have sex with their lover or romantic interests.
Yes. even men.
How to make him miss you: create elevated levels of dopamine & norepinephrine
Elevated levels of the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine are associated with romantic love.
You may know that dopamine is a hormone that is elevated in our bodies when we get excited or when we do novel things.
When a man is in love with you, he will see you as novel, and different from all the others.
In order to “create” this heightened level of dopamine and therefore increase his feelings of romantic attachment to you, you can do something novel together.
In other words, you need to build novel experiences with this man.
So, before he goes away somewhere (or you go away somewhere), perhaps you want to do something you have not yet thought of. Or something that you wouldn’t normally do.
What would constitute something novel?
Something that involves the perception of danger. Like jumping on some kind of rollercoaster together.
Walking over a creaky, unstable old bridge together.
Perhaps exploring somewhere new and foreign to both of you, somewhere you’ve never been before.
Build memories together that will be worth missing you for!
“Danger makes the heart grow fonder”
Have you heard the saying that “distance makes the heart grow fonder”?
Well, researchers have pointed out that danger makes the heart grow fonder, too. This is because danger is related to the production of adrenaline in our bodies.
Adrenaline is closely related to the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the hormones heavily involved in producing and sustaining feelings of romantic love.
Laboratory experiments have confirmed that feelings of attraction can be increased through doing novel things together.
Something as simple as walking across a creaky, unstable bridge can cause men to feel heightened attraction for women. There was a study on this and you can read more about it in the book “Why we love” by Helen Fisher.
To conclude the first step of how to make him miss you – make an effort to do novel things together.
Actually allow the feelings of romantic tension and romantic attraction to develop, because you want a man to feel like you are “different” from all the others.
Remember, to men, you are either in the ‘one of many’ woman basket, or ‘the one and only’ basket. In order to be the one and only, he must feel that you’re different from the others, he must focus on you as if it is effortless for him to devote all his emotional energy towards you.
If you would like to know the 5 secrets to have him fall madly in love with you and make you his one and only for life, check out my program “Becoming His One & Only”. You won’t regret it, I promise!
STEP 2: Give his masculine soul the gift of appreciation
Appreciate him as a man. Give him the gift of appreciation for his effort and hard work.
This doesn’t have to be hard work related to you. It could be hard work related to his own career, his own goals or just the hard work he puts into anything he is truly passionate about.
Remember that men like to be appreciated more than they like being cherished.
Being cherished is kinda nice for a man (in theory), but it won’t make him feel much for you.
He’ll feel a lot more attached to you if you could speak to what his soul wants.
And almost every masculine soul needs and wants appreciation.
Most decent men work very hard to try to do the right thing. Yes, I did say decent men. Some men couldn’t care less about doing the right thing. (See my article on 10 Seemingly Harmless Signs of A Toxic Relationship)
Decent men do care about doing the right thing. They don’t typically want to let their family down, or their woman down. They want to be good at making you happy.
In fact, a man who is falling in love will do almost anything to make a woman happy.
And that takes a type of physical effort and resourcefulness that women may not directly relate to.
So, take the time, notice what he works hard at, and be that woman who can give his masculine soul the gift of appreciation.
STEP 3: Allow yourself the gift of missing Him
You may not have expected this one.
But this article is about how to make him miss you in 5 simple steps, right?
I consider allowing yourself to miss him pretty simple. At least the idea of it is simple.
When you want to make someone else feel something for you, you think it’s a one way street. You think that you should only make them feel a certain way.
It pays to give yourself the gift of missing him!
Due to the fact that if you are giving yourself the gift of missing him, then obviously there is some space in the relationship.
With that space, your heart will grow fonder. When your heart grows fonder, (provided you don’t live in fear of abandonment or fear in general), you will yearn for him more.
Here’s a popular article that might help you: How the Fear of abandonment can Make You More Beautiful.
This yearning you feel when allowing yourself to miss him will inspire a response in him.
It will inspire him to come close to you and become more emotionally attached to you. This is because your soul, your heart and your body, wants his.
You can’t just ask one soul to pine for another. You want two souls pining for each other.
And if you don’t (if you only want to make him miss you but you never miss him), then I’m sorry. Perhaps you need to reconsider whether you really want to be that self-centred and manipulative.
This is what creates a truly quality pair bond, and not just some weird relationship where one person is trying hard to just make the other person want them all the time. Perhaps due to insecurity or fear.
STEP 4: Give him what other women can’t
Think about this for a minute. What can you give the man you love that no other woman can?
The simple act of sex isn’t too hard to give, and there are women who are available for easy sex if a man tries hard to get it.
What is ONE thing you can give a man that no other woman can?
A soul to soul connection?
The gift of your unique feminine energy? (That will light up his masculine soul)
All of these things are important.
One thing you can give a man that no other woman can is a soul-to-soul connection.
What is that?
A soul to soul connection is a connection where you feel like someone else knows you, and you know them. Deeply and intimately.
So to do this, you’ll have to know and appreciate the differences between masculine and feminine, and you’ll need to have a deep understanding of the masculine perspective.
I know a lot of people out there will tell you that you don’t need to understand men. That men should understand you.
Yes, of course men should understand women.
However, that’s not the way to influence a man to give you what you need!
You can’t just sit there waiting for everyone else to give you what you want first. That’s called time wastage. It’s also called being small.
Meet him where HE is at
You have to first meet a man where HE is at. Understand why he does things, what he perceives value in, and let him know that you ‘get’ him.
Unless of course, you’re in a physically, mentally or psychologically abusive relationship with a man you don’t feel safe with.
If you’re with an otherwise healthy man, inside of a healthy relationship, there’s probably not too many reasons why you can’t give him understanding first.
Remember that smart women seek to appreciate and understand men first.
This is why you should discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.
How else can you inspire men to feel a soul to soul connection with you?
Banter! That’s right, banter.
Why? Because high value banter is a key for building romantic tension (especially in online dating), and banter is a gateway to deeper conversations with men!
Banter is a way to speak to men on their level, remove their defenses, and get them to open up and connect with you beyond the small talk.
It’s playful communication. Playfulness is key to building real connection with men.
It works because you’re not asking them to commit to a huge in-depth conversation before the conversation reaches that point (or perhaps just because you feel ready for it).
Instead, you give him a chance to feel connected to you before you guys go there.
When you both mutually banter together, it opens doors to the deep connection and conversation that you want as a woman. (I wish I’d known this earlier. If I had, then perhaps I wouldn’t have tried so hard to have deep conversations with men years ago when I was dating!) I think I annoyed at least one of them to the earth and back.
STEP 5: Actually be authentic
Who do we miss when they’re gone?
People who touched our soul. People who are uniquely themselves and who could never be replaced.
People with that quirky but fully authentic laugh that lit up the room (unapologetically).
People whose imperfections are so well etched into their personality that their very existence feels like a work of art. And their presence feels like a blessing in your life.
Don’t get me wrong. We’re all unique. We just don’t all express our uniqueness fully, and unapologetically.
Some women and men are pretty replaceable in general, because they don’t inspire any deeper connection, respect or trust in others. They’re much like any other person who comes and goes from your life.
You feel no need to think about them, yearn for them, or give to them.
Not only that, they also don’t show up as the kind of person that other people would easily love and commit to.
How to make him miss you: don’t be replaceable
When dating men, at least with the good men, you don’t want to be replaceable.
What are people who are replaceable and who easily come and go from your life?
People who are always surface. People who can’t go deeper, because they’re always looking for the next bit of instant gratification.
Or perhaps also the people who can’t admit to or deal with their insecurities, so they’re always working hard to hide behind them. This hampers their ability to be authentically themselves.
We all have a unique gift; a unique touch.
We just don’t all embody that, because we are afraid, or we are hiding away.
Don’t hide away. Remove the masks and allow all parts of you to come to life!
It’s ok to let go and allow yourself to be seen. Fully. 😊
Don’t be the kind of woman who is out to trick men
Another thing that ties into the point of actually being authentic.
Let’s be honest for a moment here. There’s a lot of women out there who are out to trick men (and women, in order to be more competitive).
They want to hide their real selves, their real face, and their real emotions, because they simply don’t feel comfortable with them!
I don’t blame them. After all, the bulk of us have been through the traditional schooling system. And through the schooling system, we learn that we are not really that great unless we are “right”, or unless we fit in.
We are taught to know it all, to “achieve” to get by.
We are forced to fit in with peers (many of whom couldn’t give two sh*ts about us). Some peers of whom are also low value and may not be worth it.
So, of course we turn into inauthentic people. We’ve had to cover up so much just to survive!
But honestly? Smart men know exactly when a woman is hiding away.
Whether that be hiding away her real looks by never having the freedom to take her makeup off (or never going without it). Or hiding away her real emotions by always manufacturing some kind of environment where she doesn’t have to feel them.
It is only the men who only want the sex you can offer who won’t mind you being fake. Otherwise, any red blooded, connection-oriented male will nor care for a fake woman.
So stand out and be authentic. Be the woman that your man always remember and feels attached to, for how real you are.
You’ll be memorable not just to your man, but to all men.
Men want what is REAL
Men want what’s real. They do not like being lied to by women who are trying to fake their way through the mating competition. This is one reason why many men prefer women without makeup, and many women prefer makeup.
Because men don’t want to be tricked, but women feel they have to hide, or they want to trick men. Perhaps because they think they can win the competition of getting a good mate that way.
No matter how hard you try to fake a lifestyle, an emotional state, or a certain look, fake is almost never valuable.
It’s fun to use makeup and dress up. But it’s really not fun to feel chained to your makeup due to fear of not being worthy of love.
Fake is only valuable to other fakes
Fake is valuable to other fake men.
If you want to know how to be more authentic and know how to be a man’s one and only, let me show you how you can do that here.
To real men who will be liable to form an emotional bond with you, what matters is your authenticity.
Don’t be afraid. Be who you really are. Feel what you really feel.
He will connect with you and bond with you. He’ll also miss you because you’re too precious to let go. He will want to hold on whenever you’re apart.
So it’s at this point that many women ask themselves how they can make a man feel that way about her? It’s not too hard at all.
There is actually one specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to WANT to commit to one woman, want to take care of her, worship her and only her. Do you know what that is? Find out this one specific emotional trigger here.
How do you make your man miss you? What are your ideas? Share below what has worked for you. The best people we have to learn from is each other!
Thanks for reading. Wishing you all the best.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.