Here are the steps you need to take if you want to make him miss you through text:
- Create positive associations through texting.
- Create conversation momentum (and closeness) through playful banter.
- Focus on building attraction and connection through text so he falls in love.
- Remember: distance makes the heart grow fonder.
- Be valuable.
Making a man miss you through text is not too hard if he’s already falling in love with you and you have already established a relationship with him.
You just need to have the right plan and a healthy attitude towards texting.
If on the other hand a man isn’t really invested in you and in the relationship, making him miss you through text is going to be harder.
Simply because he has no emotional attachment to you and the “glue” of romantic love is not there.
This doesn’t mean it’s impossible though.
If you follow these 6 steps, then you’ll be a real expert on how to make him miss you through text.
#1: Create Positive Associations Through Texting
What are positive associations?
In the context of relationships, positive associations are a feeling of joy, warmth and positivity towards a particular person.
In the case of texting, positive associations means that a guy truly enjoys texting you and wants to receive texts from you because it adds value to his life.
In contrast, a negative association would be him dreading receiving texts from you, or dreading sending texts to you.
Instead of feeling overjoyed to text you, it feels like an obligation for him.
So the feeling of obligation and dread are feelings you want to avoid him associating with you.
If he has these feelings, you’ve got no chance of making him miss you through text.
Instead, he’ll be repelled and start texting another woman.
So here are a few tips on how to create positive associations through text:
- Text him during times that you know he’s open to receiving texts, and not during times you know he doesn’t like receiving texts (it’s annoying and low value)
- Try to add value in at least 70% of your texts. This means that 7 texts out of 10 need to add value, and we’ll talk more about how to add real value to a man through text in the next step.
- Be a source of joy, playfulness and warmth
- Don’t fight with him over text unless you have to (and yes, there will be times in which you have to, as the matter is too urgent to ignore)
There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.
#2: Create Momentum and Closeness Through High Value Banter
Banter is invaluable to you if you want to make him feel closer to you and more attracted to you.
Because banter is like a tennis rally. A genuine game that’s fun and exciting.
You hit the ball to him, he hits it back.
Of course if he doesn’t bother hitting the ball back to you, then you have other more serious issues and you should really consider whether he’s right for you at all.
(Toxic men don’t typically like and enjoy banter, because they’re not interested in attuning to you or actually connecting with you. Instead they’re more interested in manipulating you or getting what they can out of you.)
But that’s a conversation for another time.
Banter creates that fun, engaging momentum for you, and the key in good banter is playfulness.
Playfulness is key both through texting and in person if you want a man to fall in love with you and miss you.
But not for the reasons you think.
You don’t want to be playful just because guys like lightheartedness or because guys prefer “happy” women.
You need playfulness because it brings out the best in him so you can have a higher quality texting relationship.
When you have a high quality texting relationship and you have a history of good banter, this creates a deep feeling of closeness.
This feeling of closeness is key if you want him to truly miss you and pine for you through text.
If you’re unfamiliar with banter, my hubby David and I wrote a guide on How To Banter With Men To Build Attraction. Click to read it.
But why does banter create closeness?
Because it allows you to:
- Open the door to deeper conversation and therefore inspire more vulnerable conversations between you and him
- Cross the boundaries of what is taboo; and
- Avoid small talk
So here’s a couple of examples of high value banter and how it can help you create conversation momentum.
Note the conversation momentum created in this example of playful banter:
This next example is from one of our members, and she is in the purple:
If you’d like some free examples of banter you can use to send to a man, CLICK here to take our free class on the “dark feminine” art of high value banter.
#3: Build Emotional Attraction and Emotional Connection so He Falls in Love
If your guy is in love with you already, then most of the work on this step has been done.
If you think he’s falling out of love, then focusing on attraction and connection is the way to remedy that.
If he’s never been in love with you and you were always just casual rather than a committed couple, you need to take this advice to heart.
So how do you build emotional attraction through text?
Banter of course. Here’s an example of what you can text him:
You: “Do you know what I miss about you?”
Him: “What do you miss about me?”
You: “Absolutely nothing! [insert playful emoji here].”
How do you build emotional connection?
Here are some examples on how to do that:
- Talk about and connect over mutual struggles (this inspires mutual vulnerability and closeness, which is important if you ever want to make him miss you.)
You can initiate this type of interaction by bringing up something you are bad at, like juggling, or playing football.
Obviously if you’re good at these things, you can find examples of skills you lack or funny moments in which you discovered how bad you were at something.
Here’s something you can say:
“You should’ve seen me trying to juggle last night. I must’ve looked like a one-handed, blind monkey. Do you know how to juggle?”
- Feel your emotions and share them, but ensure they’re authentic.
You don’t want to create some huge drama over text that has you sending a 5,000 word thesis to him (and giving you carpal tunnel in the process).
But what you can do is tell him a quick and simple story from your day, such as:
“I was furious on my walk with my dog today. I threw him the ball to catch as I usually do, and a dog the size of a horse made a beeline for his ball.
My heart started racing as his little life flashed before my eyes.
The horse dog snatched the ball and since my little guy doesn’t know his own size, he chased the horse dog and bit his tail.
The bigger dog retaliated and bit him back.
Luckily his owner stepped in, but the bite left a wound and a bit of blood. I haven’t felt so vulnerable, sad and angry in a while.”
By the way, there’s one thing you can say through text to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say. CLICK here to discover this one phrase.
#4: Remember: Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
How to make him miss you through text?
One way is to take breaks from texting. But there’s a couple of words of caution that come with this:
- Don’t do it because you think making yourself scarce will make him want you; and
- Don’t do this to be controlling.
In other words, don’t do it because you are scared he’ll lose interest in you, so you want to control him and make him “chase” you.
Because making yourself scarce doesn’t make you valuable to him, and it doesn’t make you a high value woman.
For deeper discussion on this, read my article: Don’t Text Him And He Will Text You: True Or False?
Instead, do it because you want to take a deep breath to focus on yourself or to focus on other important goals you have.
If you smother him with texts because you’re afraid of him losing interest in you, that will just work against you.
So give yourself some space and time away from texting him, and allow him the same.
This absence will give him time to feel what his life is like without you, and it will open up the opportunity for him to miss you.
See this as a way of adding value.
Always communicating with him via text doesn’t make you valuable.
Of course it can be important to communicate constantly at times, and he may even try to text you all the time if he’s head over heels in love.
But sometimes silence is actually what you both need. It can give you both the opportunity to recharge and come back to the relationship with more to give.
You both need the space to be reminded of the value of the connection you share.
#5. Utilize The Power Of Voice Messaging.
…It flaunts your feminine voice and creates attraction.
A lot of people are a bit shy at the thought of using voice messaging, but you don’t need to be!
Voice messages add that personal touch that helps to create a feeling of closeness between you.
It shows that you’re:
- Willing to invest; and
- It encourages him to reciprocate
Voice messaging can also add another dimension to your communication, so that you’re not always texting in the same way.
Plus, your feminine voice is an attraction trigger in men.
So you want to flaunt your delicate, soft and feminine voice over text if you can.
By the way, would you like to discover the 17 attraction triggers that are guaranteed to get a man’s blood boiling?
Click here to learn more about our course “The 17 Attraction Triggers”. (The promise of this course is for you to discover the 17 Attraction Triggers that are guaranteed to make almost any man you wish to never look at another woman ever again.)
#6. Be Valuable.
In the previous step for how to make him miss you through text, we discussed how making yourself scarce doesn’t make you valuable.
Well, the final step is a follow on from that concept.
When texting your man, remember to not play mind games or manipulate him in petty ways. It won’t inspire him to fall in love with you and miss you.
If you need to resort to controlling behavior, mind games and manipulation, then either you have insecure attachment patterns (and need to heal from them), or he’s not actually in love with you.
(By the way, if you want to discover what your core attachment style is, you can do that by taking our specially crafted, women-specific quiz here.)
See: no “tricks” that involve manipulation or have the goal to control his feelings and investment in you will help you in this quest to make him miss you.
He needs to actually fall in love with you. He needs to feel that depth of emotional attraction with you.
That is what will make him miss you.
And in fact, when you can make him fall in love with you, you’ll never really have to try hard to make him miss you, he just will. Naturally.
And it will feel amazing because you’ll feel secure, like you ‘have’ him, his resources and his soul.
So, focus on the right thing: be truly valuable when you text by focusing on the previous 4 steps in this article, and make sure you are a woman of value in his life.
Don’t follow a bunch of strict rules for how long you should wait before you text him back, because you only need rules if you lack the ability to emotionally attune to a man.
I talk more about rules when texting in my article on: Should I Text Him Or Should I Wait? 5 Mistakes To AVOID.
Making Him Miss you Through Text is About…
It’s about having the right mindset towards texting, and towards your relationship.
If he has real feelings, that will make him miss you, while short term strategies will not.
If you focus on short-term strategies like trying to making yourself scarce or trying hard to wait a long time before you text him back, this is going to create disconnects.
The most important thing to focus on is creating actual connection and attraction.
That’s emotional connection and emotional attraction.
If you can focus on these things, then you’ll be focused on the correct things.
QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!
What To Do Now
The best thing for you to do now is to go out and practice the steps I’ve just shared with you.
- The skill of playfulness; and
- The skill of banter.
Most women are so anxious about where their relationship is going and whether a man is committed to them that they lose all playfulness.
And they don’t banter enough…if they banter at all!
Banter is the key, it is what men connect with, it’s what they understand and it’s the best way to meet him where he’s at.
So go out, practice bantering with him and if you need help developing that skill, take our free high value banter class.
(My hubby David runs this class and I highly recommend you listen to it.)
Above all, have fun!
Try not to make dating or texting your man stressful on yourself, and I wish you all the best in your love life.
Now over to you. Do you have any tips for how to make him miss you through text? Any texts to make him miss you? Share below as we can learn from each other.
P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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