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Article updated 2018

Warning: Pick Your Friends Carefully

Do you have any dreams? Do you have wishes? Any desires or planned outcomes? Do you have any goals in life? And do you have anyone around you who’s pulling you away from your goals and desires? (Click here to take the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

Do you have in mind the kind of relationship you’d like to have?

Do you have a picture in mind, of who you would like to be, represent or become?

Now…..who do you spend most of your time with? Who is in your friendship group? Who is your closest friend?

We all eventually become like who we spend our time with. It’s subconscious, it’s under the radar and it has a huge impact on our lives. So much so, that it will determine whether we’ll end up happy or depressed, wealthy or poor, healthy or sick. Your influences are infinitely important! (read my article about how other woman can ruin your happiness with a man)

Yes, that means that if you persistently hang around a bunch of rude, angry people, you will eventually end up rude and angry. Yes, this also means that if you hang around overweight, unfit people, eventually, you will become overweight and unfit, too.

Haven’t you ever been with a close friend or boyfriend/husband, and you both said the same thing at the same time? Or were thinking the exact same thing?

Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…

I know of a woman (a friend of a friend) who spends a lot of time with her significant other. One night, they were asleep in bed together, and she woke up from a dream she had had, only to find her husband had awoken from exactly the same dream.

You’ve seen couples who look alike, right? In some close couples, this is particularly apparent in their later years. They have the same facial expressions and mannerisms.

We all do this subconsciously, as a way to feel more connected to the people around us. Especially the ones who mean the most to us.

There is a story of how a group of women living together in the same place/environment for a while; eventually find their menstrual cycles become synchronised. This has been known as the McClintock Effect.

If you’re on this blog, you are most likely a woman who values growth to an extent. You are most likely a woman who values learning and becoming more. You probably also understand and appreciate the value of becoming closer to your feminine core, and becoming more woman. If, however, you spend lots of time hanging around with people who primarily value certainty (comfort), and prefer to keep the status quo, then forget about your dreams, because these friends will bring you down.

One of the fastest ways to get to where you want to go – to become who you want to become, is to surround yourself with people who are already where you want to be. If you surround yourself with what some would term ‘shallow’ and/or egocentric women who are bitchy; you’ll end up becoming like that, too. (read my article about finding your true purpose as a woman)

Who do you think most people like to make friends with? People who are at the same level as them, or below them. So that they feel good about themselves.

Don’t hang around people who don’t honor your dreams, your soul and what your represent purely to settle for SOME sort of connection.

We all need love but most of us will settle just for connection. Are you in a friendship group where you can’t share your true passions? Are you passionate about becoming a truly feminine yet strong woman, but afraid to share this with your friends?

Get a copy of the eBook 17 Attraction Triggers and find out what attracts men naturally.

Today, make a promise to yourself: Honor yourself and choose your friends carefully, because you will become who you spend your time with.

So, over to you: are you happy in your current friendship group?

Do you feel supported unconditionally by your friends?

Who do you spend most of your time with? Feel free to share with us your thoughts below.

And you might want to go for Part 2 of this topic.

By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!

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κυρία χιAnaisHollyCrystalAnna C Recent comment authors
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κυρία χι
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κυρία χι

I wanted to ask…does the same happen with our family members that we spend our most time too?

Anna C
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Anna C

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share this quote with you guys which I thought was entirely relevant to this article. It might be worth meditating on for a few moments.

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

– BUDDHA

Anais
Guest
Anais

Does this mean if I am to spend more time with men and women who are giving, nurturing, and in good relationships that there is a greater chance that I will attract a healthy relationship into my life? I’ve been spending more time with people in good relationships, as well as female singles who I find more soft and kind. They’re positive, kind hearted, warm, don’t take everything so seriously, aren’t overly cynical about life, and not controlling. Their values seem to be more in line with mine than other people I used to consider close friends. I noticed a… Read more »

Anais
Guest
Anais

I keep returning to your articles on friends, Renee and beginning to put the theories in to practice. I really appreciate this information. Yesterday I realized I’ve been trying to always fit in with someone else’s group of friends. In the past, it’s just influenced me to be less authentic and take on other’s negativity. It’s time that I take the women I feel I could be most connected to and bring them together! These are the women I’ve met years ago and some just last year. However with those I met years ago, it’s only now I’m realizing they… Read more »

Holly
Guest
Holly

Hello dear Renee and David too I would just like to add to this article as something new happened in my life yesterday. I was walking to the shops, I only went to pay bills and buy clothes washing tablets. I had to buy some headache tablets from the chemist also. I was speaking to a women in the chemist, it was just a vauge conversation and then she started telling me more things about herself and funnily enough she was talking about things that I could relate to within my life experience. She asked me what I was doing… Read more »

Holly
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Holly

the part of myself that I’ve lost touch with. I’ve decided though to be brave, to open up and meet new people as I’m unhappy with the person I have become. On the plus side, I can see that I project a boring person, I’m quite and struggle to have conversations reserved, can be pessimistic, repetative, keep talking about the past and very rigid, but underneath that crap I am a person with a kind, caring, compassionate, heart, I’m understanding and have integrity. Oh and I have intrapersonal intelligence which is the same thinking style as Sigmun Froyde :-), I’m… Read more »

Holly
Guest
Holly

For all my life I’ve been jelouse and inferior of my younger sister which is understandable considering my dad use to compare me unfavourably to her as a child. He would purposely years me for fun which hurt me alot. My sister is very pretty and I know the majority of men would choose her over me so my jelousy and inferiority had reason for validation. Since finding the Feminine women blog, I shall no longer concern myself. She is pretty but I have lost all respect for her as a person and NO I would never want to spend… Read more »

Anna C
Guest
Anna C

Hello, I was wondering if someone has any experience on this. Have you ever hung around with someone so much, and you like them and are good friends with them… and then they start hanging around constantly with someone very annoying/kind of a bad influence? What if this new person just attaches themselves to this friend and it’s hard to be with your friend without having this new person around? What do you do then? Would you slowly leave the friendship? And what if your boyfriend or man also has this friendship with the same original friend? You cannot stop… Read more »

Crystal
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Crystal

I can relate in a different sort of way. All I can really conclude is that all things are subject to change, although circumstances don’t currently feel comfortable. People get bored of eachother, make new friends or break up, etc. Hopefully everything will work out for you! My current boyfriend has alot of friends that he grew up with living near us. At first I got along great with their girlfriends and wives and we would go on group dates and even vacation together. One on one, I got along with each girl great. Together they seemed to look for… Read more »

Anna C
Guest
Anna C

Thanks Crystal, for your thoughts. Yes, everything does change… it is changing already.. I think what I really wanted to do was have control over the situation and when I did not, I felt helpless. But that is not really a very feminine thing to do – control things. Which is why I probably felt helpless and conflicted.

Lost
Guest
Lost

Hello,

I’ve been with a schoolfriend for maybe 2 years, listening all the rubbish and pessimism from him,
..long story, maybe he thinks I was a friend and still am, I don’t know because he hasn’t contacted me ..right now I can’t even think what I was doing and why.. anyway, will you ever have to meet those you don’t want? I mean he/she can see you.. ..argh I’m tired…

moe
Guest
moe

@april I totally agrree Iam experiencing THE EXACT SAME THING NOW..depression ,confusion of who iam and how did i get this way..Also how did I even make this mistake of choosing these guys lol…how did you escape

Alican
Guest

A Friend in Need is a Friend in Greed: Never ask, “Who is my real friend?” Ask,” Am I a real friend to somebody?” That is the right question.

VolleyGirl
Guest
VolleyGirl

Hi Renee, I totally agree with you on this topic. My mum always tells me that same ( my mum gives a lot of advices, lol) And I know exactly what you mean, because I had 2 girlfriends who I thought were genuiley my friends and than I found out later horrible things that they had done to me . I never saw it coming, they seemed genuiley nice people with good intentions. Now I have my eyes wide and open… I still think that nowadays is hard to find genuine friends. What I have concluded so far ( in… Read more »

VolleyGirl
Guest
VolleyGirl

Hi Renee, I know what you mean when you say ” choose your freinds carefully”. That’s what my mum tells me all the time, that but only that your friends can and will influence you but that outsiders will judge from who you are friends with.

Karen
Guest

A very insightful article Renee. This decribes “gameplayers” perfectly, “gameplayers” being people who cause you grief – especially other family members or people who perport to have your interests at heart and anyone who has a bad or draining effect on your life. I only became aware of gameplayers when I met my husband and soul mate, he helped make me aware of them – I couldn’t believe that anyone close to you could possibly want to do you harm in any way (and not always consciouly either) – talk about naive. You are not born knowing these things, some… Read more »

Amitabh Pandey
Guest

A Friend in Need is a Friend in Greed: Never ask, “Who is my real friend?” Ask,” Am I a real friend to somebody?” That is the right question. Why are you worried about others – whether they are friends to you or not?. The proverb is: A friend in need is a friend indeed. But deep down that is greed! That is not friendship, that is not love. You want to use the other as a means, & no man is a means, every man is an end unto himself. Why are you so worried about about who is… Read more »

Amina
Guest
Amina

Wow! That is deep. I learnt stuff here. Still, I believe your friends should be there in your time of need.

Crystal
Guest

Do people pick their friends or do they attract them? Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you already are…at least to some extent…and that’s only if I have a good understanding of who your friends are beneath the surface and beyond outer appearances. That’s if I’m not judging them according to my own preconditioned notions of what’s acceptable and what’s not…what’s good and what’s bad. Before dumping friends…could it be more advisable to observe and shift whatever it is in you that attracted the perceived undesirable friends in the first place?

As always…interesting post. 🙂

BR0NZE SKiN ST@R
Guest

Great blog – like they say SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I’LL SHOW YOU WHO YOU WANNA BE. It is hard to find like-minded friends but I have faith that I will find a core group of girls who are honest and kind and share the same interests as me. It has been difficult because I’ve moved around a lot, and many people stick to childhood friends.

Anna C
Guest
Anna C

This is a very good comment. I choose my friends wisely and am slow to adopt new friend for this reason. I used to think it was superficial to judge a person on their friends, but now I realise that we don’t do this to judge another person, but to judge yourself.

Masaleen
Guest

Renee, this post is so inspiring for me, and it’s filled with so much wisdom. I’m so grateful. As a future Marine wife, I’m going to be moving a lot, and I know now how important it will be to choose my company wisely wherever I go. You helped me realize I have a tendency to hang out with people who are below my level in maturity, simply because it’s easier and more comfortable, but this will do nothing for me! I definitely have friends who are a great influence on me, but I’m on the other side of the… Read more »

Daviece
Guest

Love this post; it couldn’t be more true!

Renee
Guest
Renee

@ P: love you too. 🙂

@ April: you are most welcome darling!

@ Silpa: it’s ok to distance….I’ll address this a bit further in the follow up article!

@ Brown Eyed Beauty: what a fascinating story, with your friend’s boyfriend! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

@ Jaylakshmi Sinha Roy: I’m extremely sorry to hear of your mother! Many blessings to you darling girl. You are always welcome here.
Thanks for your comment.

-XxX-

JAYLAKSHMI SINHA ROY
Guest
JAYLAKSHMI SINHA ROY

Hi Renee, I couldn’t agree more with you! It is so true and has happened to me but not so much with my friends as with my family memebers, mother, husband. Not all that has rubbed onto me was bad but was more their personality than mine. My mother is no more and my husband has to travel a lot for work.I have no close friend who is really close since we are all married and busy with respective lives. so the only friend i have is myself and my inner spiritual, true friend who is always around, and my… Read more »

BrownEyedBeauty
Guest
BrownEyedBeauty

That was wonderful advice, Renee! 😉 As to friends who want to talk about their problems…this is a tough one. I’m the kind of person who will definitely be there for you if you need me. I’m a pretty good listener. I’m compassionate. It would bother me if I had a “friend” who could not be there when times are tough. People like that are “fair-weather friends”, in my opinion. A true friend will be honest with you and provide constructive criticism, but they will also stick around in unpleasant situations. Friendships should be about give and take, on both… Read more »

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