How to Deal With Jealous Women

How to Deal With Jealous Women

A more physically ‘perfect’ or glamorous woman needn’t always cause jealousy amongst other women, but a beautiful, feminine woman can cause enormous jealousy.

If you’ve always been a beautiful and feminine woman, you would have experienced countless jealous looks and perhaps even jealous schemes, engineered by other women. It’s everywhere. And you can be a plain Jane and cause this jealous stir among other women, because you have something other women feel they do not; the amazing and mysterious force of femininity.

And, jealous women can be women on the street whom you don’t know, or even a jealous friend or jealous friends, in the form of ‘frenemies’ – friends who sometimes seem like a friend, and other times seem to want the worst for you. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Good looks do not keep a man. Every woman knows this deep down. And a physically gorgeous woman; even a famous woman crowned the most beautiful woman in the world, cannot have it all. Take Halle Berry for example, having been cheated on or left by every man she’s been with. Take Marilyn Monroe, who died way before she should have. Take Elle Macpherson, who in her 40s still has gorgeous looks, and yet she hasn’t held or kept a man. Take for example the large number of famous women who have committed suicide or died of some sort of drug overdose. No amount of beautiful looks or fame will fulfill a woman. You can be the most beautiful woman on earth, and still feel unloved.

But when a woman is truly feminine, she tends to never ever be short of men in her life if she’s single, or if she’s taken, she may find it hard to fight off her man’s adoring, admiring affections even if she wanted to. :)

Jealousy on Fire

More often than not, a loving, devoted and amazing man in another woman’s life will cause jealousy on fire in some other women.

More often than not, even if a feminine woman is single, other women will hate her, for no reason other than the fact that this woman has something that they feel is out of reach for them; true, radiant femininity and consequently, beauty! Which is the ultimate attractor of masculinity. Every woman can achieve true femininity, but not every woman does. In fact, women who are jealous are often not even really aware of what this other woman has that she doesn’t. All she knows is that she wants what she’s got, deep down.

Feminine women attract male attention. Feminine women can have the pick of the bunch, and yes, feminine women CAN have it all. Because true femininity is radiant and gives love. It is love and it is a force for life. Feminine energy is adored by men who are masculine at their core (most men), and regardless of her looks, a woman like this may still get the pick of the bunch.

Throughout the course of your life, (if you follow the femininity movement and embrace your feminine sexual core), you will most definitely encounter a trail of hateful and angry women. Regardless of your age. Jealousy isn’t just incited in other women only when you’re young and beautiful. It occurs simply if you are beautiful. And femininity is beautiful. Men will jump hoops to protect it, love it, embrace it and chase it.

Jealous women may just give you a nasty look, a hateful sideways glance, and if you’re lucky, they may bitch about you behind your back. If you’re unlucky, jealous women will go out of their way to bring you down.

And in this heavily masculine ambition driven society, there are plenty of them. Because women suppress their feminine energy to get things done, and to conform. So they don’t often get what they truly want to experience. Which is love.

Ultimately, we’re all looking for a feeling, and more often than not, most women want to fill up with love and to give love. Masculine women don’t tend to attract this in to their lives. So if you are feminine, you’ll have something that they feel they are missing out on, yet don’t quite know what it is or how to achieve it.

And life is unfair to start with. So we don’t all have the same opportunities. We’re not all born with stunning looks, and we’re not all given the requisite knowledge to live happy, fulfilling lives and to enjoy enriching and fulfilling intimate relationships and marriages.

Now if you’re a very feminine woman, you will most likely not feel a great deal of jealousy if you see another beautiful woman who is truly happy. In fact, you’ll most likely be really happy for her and want to revel in this happiness with her. Even if you do not have it yourself! This may be because you feel you too, can have what she has.

You are a rare creature :) not all women can revel in the good fortune of another woman.

If you are the kind of woman who feels guilty being in the spotlight, and although you feel and enjoy being feminine, find it hard to fully enjoy it without feeling bad about taking away the spotlight from other women.

Never dull your femininity to make other women feel like they are enough.

There’s a reason why anti-feminists often say that it is unattractive women who instigated the first and subsequent waves of feminist movements. (please note: I don’t know how accurately researched this video is, and I am aware that it is not necessarily true that it is solely unattractive women who instigate and support Feminist movements). However, I understand their position and can see why they perceive this to be the truth.

And unattractive is not purely physical. I believe a woman can actually change her looks and become uglier on the outside through her internal thought processes.

One way in which you can deal with jealousy is by befriending the jealous woman and lead her to feel more confident in herself, and being more giving to her. Giving her reasons to feel loved and accepted. That will bring out a different side to her. And, you can show other women who are less confident that they can have, and deserve to have everything that they want and need. However, there are times when women just don’t want to change or feel truly great about themselves. In these cases, you’ve just got to do some serious ‘pattern-breaking’; breaking of their patterns/habits! :)

How to deal with jealous women

If you find yourself in a situation in which you are surrounded by oppressive women who you can sense are not only talking about you behind your back, but actively do things behind your back to bring you down, it’s time to take action. Because you cannot let women like this walk all over you. A woman still has to be able to put her foot down when it is needed. (read my article about passive, aggressive and difficult women)

You may believe that a feminine woman should just stay quiet and perhaps just sacrifice her own needs to avoid being around these women. Not true.

I have said before that a feminine woman needs to have a masculine part to her as well; and this is a situation in which you need to go in to more masculine mode to stand up to women like this.

A story

I’ll give you an example. In my own life, I’ve experienced being in a workplace full of women several times. This time last year I was working as a perfume ambassador. Whilst in some places, women in this type of occupation would be quite feminine (and there were a couple where I worked), there were a few very masculine and butch women. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

On my first day, I encountered a young woman who also worked as a perfume ambassador, just for a different agent. I adore people, so I cheerfully introduced myself and intended to make a friend. Before I noticed the energy she was putting out. She had no interest in befriending me, in fact she immediately asserted herself as a manager, but made her position sound higher than what it really was. Because I was new there, I was easy to fool.

We shall call her ‘B’.

Immediately, B was asserting herself upon me and I was following her commands, although I actually wasn’t obligated to follower her commands. But she was still very oppressive, and I made the mistake of getting stuck in a ‘master-servant’ type role with her, which was very uncomfortable.

B’s intentions showed up more when I needed her expertise to guide me to where to find items, where other products were located, etc. She would never be concise and accurate. She was always deliberately vague, so much so that I had no idea where she was pointing me to. She wanted me to keep asking her, and ultimately, look foolish. I unfortunately let myself fall in to this role with her repeatedly.

She also knew I was never taught to use a register, and that it wasn’t a part of my job to be able to use one; yet she would tell me to put things through the register in front of a customer, and walk away without offering assistance.

During these incidents, I had to ask her repeatedly for directions and she would roll her eyes at me when I couldn’t follow her instructions. I kept on with this situation because I didn’t really want to believe that she could be so deliberately manipulative.

I noticed also, that her behavior got worse when my man came to visit me at work. He did this often, and was always very affectionate, protective and loving. He often picked me up from my shifts. Sometimes he would bring me a drink or food for my lunch break, and other times he just came briefly, to see how I was. I began to sense that every time he did come to see me, she would pull another woman aside, and talk about me and point at myself and David.

Over time, I noticed that the other women who I thought I had made friends with stopped wanting to talk to me. I felt left out and excluded. I ended up in tears in the ladies’ room, and found it hard to work. I found it hard to push on in this environment, and the energy was very bad.

One day her and another colleague were talking, and she confessed that she had never been on a date (she is 24, nearly 25) or had a man interested in her. I felt bad for ‘B’, and thus continued indicating that I was still open to her, and open to befriending her in some way, as I am with most people.

Until one day I met another colleague from a different department who told me how she was in tears one day after work because of the way ‘B’ had been treating her. I was forced to acknowledge that ‘B’ was preying on seemingly ‘weaker’ and softer women, who were more feminine, and more vulnerable, as this new colleague I met was very feminine.

And this is the trouble with being a very feminine woman. Whilst the majority of men will love you for it, and not want to hurt you in any way, there will be women who will want to put you down. Women, I find, tend to be different around other very feminine women. I’ve met women who love this and feel at home with other feminine women, but I’ve also come across women who smell femininity from a mile away and proceed to trample all over it. I personally love women, and celebrate femininity.

You’re probably wondering how I ended up dealing with ‘B’. One morning, I noticed that one woman whom had always been nice to me stopped talking to me completely and starting being very snarky. I had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with B. So I took the liberty of confronting my friend and asked. Indeed, B had told her, among other things, a blatant lie about me.

So I went up to B and confronted her in front of every employee, stating to her that she shall come to me from now on, to tell things to my face, rather than telling fibs behind my back. I proceeded to ask her why she was doing it, and I hadn’t seen myself cause fear in another woman for a long time, but I had to do it to liberate myself and to show her that I wasn’t going to tolerate her behavior.

The point of my story is to show that there are scenarios in which a feminine woman must assert herself and go in to more of a masculine mode. It’s all part of being a dynamic and whole woman who is able to bring out different sides of herself when it is needed. (read my article about light and dark feminine)

You need to raise your level of masculinity, become even more masculine than them, to bring things back to a little more fairness.

When confronted with jealous women, or even other aggressive women who disrespect you or your womanliness, it is important to stand your ground, rather than shy away from it. I learned this lesson, as I let the situation go on a lot longer than I should have!

Bring out the goddess in you, download your “Goddess Report”.

Do you have any strategies to deal with jealousy from other women? Or do you have any juicy stories? Feel free to share with us 😀

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  • GreenLantern

    I find as a masculine woman its me who gets the discrimination from other women, you seem to have a strange definition of gender and have feminine as something positive and masculine if its something negative. A lot of these “bitchy” women you talk of are femmes who are just not nice, they dont automatically qualify as masculine women. Gender is a spectrum, not a binary and its constructed. Everyone has masculine and feminine traits, they dont have to match sex.

    Telling women who are not feminine they are ugly on the inside, that masculinity in a woman is ugliness based on men not liking it, all of this may be why women dont like you. Its outright misogynistic. Its possible that when these women see you with men they see a different side to you and they wonder why you are the way you are with them, you may not be aware of your behaviour. You say you are nice, but possibly you are nice while also trying to change those women to be feminine. I know ive met a lot of women over the years who have tried to make me be feminine and i got sick of the constant gender policing. There is more ways to be a woman then just one, and i can tell you a story of a female born person who transitioned to be male. They were married to a man for 20 years pre transition and stayed married post transition to a bi man. It is possible and does not require femininity to radiate love, masculinity can do the same thing and all the variations between can. The problem is the gender binary type cultural lens and how its hard to take it off.

  • squared

    I appreciated this article very much. Without telling my entire life story, I had horrible self esteem throughout my childhood and teen years. I had problems with ankylose teeth, meaning the baby ones wouldn’t come out on their own, so they had to surgically remove many of them, leading to further jaw problems. Also had a broken jaw from a baseball hitting me. Spent 7 total years in braces, as well. I realize now that I didn’t look horrible, seeing old pics of myself. But, I was bullied and contemplated suicide on many occasions.
    During my late teens and early twenties, I had some confidence boost when I had a couple major jaw surgeries to fix past problems. I’d also started dating after high school, which did help boost confidence. Lastly, I’d say that all my mistreatment growing up truly led me to be a kind and compassionate person toward others.
    But, as my own confidence grew, I also started noticing a specific type of woman that would simply want to bring me down. I had a job where my boss made up complete lies about me to get me out. I’ve had similar treatment since. Still, I’ve always tried to treat most women like sisters. I lived in an all-women’s co-op house in college, so I really learned how to get along with all types.
    Fast-forward to now, when I’ve been married for 5 years, and at my current job for a year. I love my job (car saleswoman!) But, in just the past year, I’ve dealt with some major B.S., which has included a man sexually harassing me verbally, which when I told, resulted in him getting fired. It’s not what I’d asked for, but due to prior warnings, that’s what resulted. I got SO much shade from…you guessed it…other women! Few women had my back and blamed me instead, whereas most of the guys kept quiet, or understood because they wouldn’t want to see their wives/girlfriends being creeped on like that.
    Then, just when I thought I’d patched things up on that end, it feels like this other woman at work dislikes me for no reason. We’re almost exactly the same age, but she’s had some past management experience at other companies, and although she is not one now, takes on extra projects and exudes leadership. When she first started at my store, I definitely looked up to her for her expertise and professionalism. However, I also have a low power distance and am a very fast learner, so as I myself have been gaining more experience, I’ve needed less advice from this person. Now, it seems like maybe she resents me, or feels we’re in competition? Recently, we were in this conversation with another guy, and I was noticing how she was only looking at the other guy while we were talking, not me. Also, when I said something, she would cut me off and talk over me. I put up with it for a bit, but then exited the conversation with the excuse that I had to go look at a car on the lot. What’s stupid is that we’re all married, so I don’t know as it’s about romantic competition. I really don’t know, and am frankly afraid to ask. But it’s been bothering me, which is why I was researching and found this article.

  • Samantha Ward

    Everything you said is so true!! I just dealt with a very similar situation but the woman was my boss. I ended up confronting her but things did not stop so I ended up walking out.

  • Juliet Elishaan

    Hi guys. reading your comments really brought me healing and peace of mind. I have struggled with envy from females all my life, the older women have constantly played an envious role of laying obstacles and adding to my struggles. In my earlier days I never knew why women treated me like this, life has been really unfair and hard on me. Because of this I have always been vulnerable and not had the capacity to rationalize my surroundings than trying to solve one problem after the other.
    Looking back at my childhood, I can tell that women ranging from teachers, social workers and other authorities of helping a vulnerable child treated me like shit and never truly wanted me to progress and have a normal life. I never understood why they would treat me like this. But now as a 25 year old who have broken the ice and is building her life, I can see it so clearly that these women were simply just envious of me for reasons I as a child could neither reason to or understand.
    For instance, my current female tutors treats me like a rival. The way they look at me, avoids giving me the word in lecture/seminar and hands documents to me last among the students.
    Females my age always avoids developing friendships with me, I have attended many events and joined groups where everybody had such a good time and I felt we really clicked. But then these girls never makes contact, some don’t reply to my mails and they never uploads the photos from the event which I am in.
    Before I used to think that being kind would solve the problem, but I realized that my kindness just gave these girls the power to treat me like a slave. They would gladly take my kindness and interact, but never putting in any effort themselves. And if I don’t lavish attention on them, they give me nasty attitudes.
    With men I am as cautious, before when I was simply a vulnerable nobody, they would approach and chase me but run once they realize how difficult life was for me. So now I am extremely picky with a very high standard when it comes to men and hates the fact that they are constantly showing me attention and will not leave me alone.
    I am currently an aspiring model, and it has been really hard for me in the industry. I often experience that the women representatives will not upload my photos on their websites so that clients can see me, some of them would not match me with jobs.
    A couple of times, my profile had been deleted by them for stupid reasons as that my pictures are not getting me jobs. Other female representatives have sent me really disturbing and nasty e-mails when I applied for jobs criticising my looks and saying that there is no guarantee I will become a model just because I am pretty. The few women I met who actually gave me a job, never writes me a recommendation unless I nag about it. I have been in two fashion shows, and the female photographers always avoids taking pictures of me in my best spots, but always takes the pictures when I am either not looking at the camera or on the side of the runway.
    What I also experiences from female representatives in the modeling world is that they have no interest in interacting with me or get to know me as it should be for a successful project. I have been in a couple of workshops from different agencies and the females representatives never notifies the people in the office to send me my photos, so I usually search for male representatives contacts and complains before my photos are sent to me.
    It has been really hard, but I am not giving up, I know I have the skills and personally for becoming a successful model besides my stunning physical appearance. I know these women sees my beauty and potentials and fears how far I can actually go in the industry, they are doing all they can to stop me from getting there but I will not let them win.
    My advise is, to not give envious or jealous women any attention. You who they are jealous of did them nothing and should not be dragged into their personal self-esteem problems, neither should you become their slave of satisfying their need of putting you down so they can feel good. Whenever I spot jealousy or envy I simply stay as far from that individual as possible unless it is essential I communicate with them may it be work duties or school projects.

  • Eleesha Prothero

    I work as a dental nurse but on the side sometimes I work as a glamour models or promo girl. At my dental job I find a lot of the he girls very jealous when it comes to my Fb, or even to the extent I don’t get invited to they’re parties! But then see it on fb. I never talk about my modelling ever as I know it comes across as very vein. I have a very loving husband who is also very attractive and after our wedding a magazine company contacted us and put our wedding in they’re magazine with me as the cover girl! I was over the moon! And posted it on fb. I had a lot of lovely messages however the girls at work were abit off with me! I work partime at topshop too and find a lot of the girls won’t even talk to me!! I go to he gym a lot and look after myself a lot! That’s my choice! I am just fed up these nasty people. My husband gets annoyed when we go out anywhere as women stare more than men and there’s a lot of nasty looks I get from them. I don’t dress slutty just feminine! Can someone help me as I feel alone. Even in my old job the girls all stopped talking to me and if I walked into a room they would all go quite!

    • Juliet Elishaan

      Hi pretty, I know exactly how you feel and knows exactly what you are talking about. Read my post above and halla me if you like :-)

      • Eleesha Prothero

        Hi gorgous, thanx for relying. I feel the same! I only have 3 real friends and my husbands friends girlfriends always bitch about me behind my back. I always try to make new friends but the girls never seem to want to be around me. Iv been thinking about starting up my own Instagram account for fans only so non of my personal photos such as my wedding. I think women like us should stick together as we understand what it’s like to be isolated by jealous women xx

        • Juliet Elishaan

          Totally agree, there are so many of us that sticking together shouldn’t be a problem. If you like, we could communicate through facebook, same profile name. Instagram sounds like a great idea, you will for sure receive more support there :-)

  • Tea berries

    I’ve noticed women that don’t appreciate me being around because I’m beautiful. But it’s less of a passive-aggressive attitude, and more of a ‘shame on you, don’t you know you’re making us all look bad?” type of thing. I really don’t know what to say. I live in Canada in a really super liberal part of the country and study sociology so I’m well taught in concepts of gender mobility and plurality as well as ideas of the male gaze, etc.etc. But I’m a transplanted American from the south, and I was taught to be feminine, sweet and kind, no tattoos, med-long hair, nice clothes… dressing up is just what we do. Yet every time I leave the house, it’s like I’m a defector to the feminist agenda.

    Tell me… how does becoming MORE MASCULINE help support femininity? Is androgyny the fate of the entire western world? I am happily married, my husband is a highly educated Alpha male. When people see him, they realize I’m the “real deal” and not just some Canadian who’s trying to live the un-popular dream of a feminine gender identity. This is just who I am… why my family is. Who we are. And that makes it even worse. I get ‘shade’ (hate) from all corners… it takes me half the term to gain a professors respect through hard work, it takes a few conversations for men to take me seriously, and I really never ever end up having female friends. I think they’d rather just not bother with being around me and save themselves the trouble of having to feel the sharp pinch of competing with the attention of others because the girl standing next to them is the essence of feminine womanhood. That seems to be a proud flag of social progress I see everywhere and that makes me somehow an ambassador for a harmful, anti-progressive feudalistic society. Like I’m living in the dark ages or something.

    **sigh** … someone buy me a non-fat late’.

    • Juliet Elishaan

      Hi sweety, read my comment above and halla me if you would like some company :-)

  • SuBee_61

    Just read the comments. It was interesting and somewhat sad to see how many women have experienced this phenomenon. I am in my 50’s and in looking back over my life, I have had to deal with jealousy from women over and over. I could never figure it out because I never thought I was anything special. People often told me I was pretty and sometimes beautiful but I am very short (under 5′ 2″) and I never felt like I looked good in clothes, etc. I still find dressing a challenge! This article really opened my eyes and it is strangely comforting to know that many women have dealt with these painful and rather soul-destroying situations.

    It seems every decade or so I have had to dump a female friend whose jealousy became unbearable. Obviously this is a well known phenomenon since the term “frenemy” became part of the lexicon. At age 50 I had a “frenemy” for a few years who seemed to like me in the beginning but over time her increasingly sharp and angry claws came out. I was shocked that at our age I had to deal with her jealousy and need to “one up” me at every turn, when she surpassed me in a couple of areas that are considered important or connote success in our extremely competitive culture. I had to exit the friendship and have no contact with this woman even though she lives less than a mile away (and I fear running into her). It was painful and took me a long time to get over as I was raised with the belief that being liked and getting along with people was/is very important. (In retrospect, I believe she has a mile borderline personality disorder). I strive to get along with men and women as much as possible, and I find this attracts people to me, as even with people that I am not terribly interested in or attracted to, I attempt to be friendly and kind. Naturally, I am far from perfect.

    Yet over the past several years, I have found myself distancing from certain women in my peer group due to the continual competition. At this point I just want to relax but with certain women, I still feel I must continually prove myself. Maybe this is just projection as I have my own insecurity but I am not a mean girl, by any stretch. Even now, in my 50s, two friends that I introduced both commented to me that “men just throw themselves at you”. Ok, not so much anymore but maybe it is because I am kind to them? No, I am not trying to steal your boyfriend/ husband/even-EX husband…I am just having a simple conversation with him at a party/gathering you invited me to. If he approaches me or engages me in conversation, am I supposed to excuse myself and leave the room? At this point i am just plain tired and don’t want to deal with it anymore. Even recently two of these female “friends” met through me. Sure enough, these two have become friendly and banded together – and I can just imagine the catty comments they make about me (because they both have made catty and judge-y comments to me about other women, including each other before they became chummy!)

    So I withdraw. I just don’t want to tear other women down. Life is hard enough, and I have learned to take care of myself. Sadly, this often involves avoiding other women and the social pecking order. I don’t need to viciously tear apart another women or engage in continual gossip about how other women live their lives in order to have female friends.

    Yes, I am one of those women who prefers the company of men, even as friends. I am grateful to have a few long-term female friends who I know I will have forever, women who “get it”, who are aware of their own insecurities and who don’t feel the need to be the alpha female when they are around me. Women who I haven’t felt that icky gaze from, who don’t try to put me in my place. I am hopeful that I will meet other women I feel I can just relax and be myself with, warts and all.

    Maybe it is survival of the fittest, this competitiveness of females and it “is what it is”.

    I think social media has just increased the competitive nature of females, and it saddens me to see younger women posting selfies just to see how many “likes” they get. How on earth does a very feminine, perhaps somewhat shy girl deal with social media and having one’s photo plastered in front of hundreds of peers? I can’t imagine the pressure young women are feeling in the current culture.

  • Marsha

    When you are an attractive, vivacious women who radiates from inside out, you have a responsibility to your fellow sisters. When I find myself in an awkward position, say a man at a party tells me I look nice in a dress, how he wishes his wife would wear them more (and she’s standing right there), I will thank him for the compliment, but also say something like, ” well, with your wife’s beautiful eyes, hair, or whatever, it seems like she could wear anything and be drop dead gorgeous”. Then I turn to the wife an say something like, “I love how fabulous your eye makeup looks, I never seem to get mine right, how do you get yours to look so nice? What I am trying to accomplish is to point out to the husband, that he look no farther than his own wife to find a beautiful women to compliment. When the husband responds by doing something thoughtful like saying ” Yes, her eyes are amazing, they are what I first fell in love with”. Then the door is open for the wife and I to be friends, no bad feelings. If the husband doesn’t respond with a nice comment, then I have effectively made him look like an ass and the wife is secretly relieved because I am not a threat, I am on her side. Then, she knows I am a sister first kind of women, not a women who lives for and feeds off male attention, not caring about the wife who has to suffer through public humiliation from her man. Works like a charm every time. I make new friends, and don’t worry about dumb, insensitive men hurting their wives feelings, and hurting society by pitting women against one another. Imagine a world where women KNEW other women had their backs. I try every time to let other women know that.

    • SuBee_61

      What a great response! It is unfortunate that you would be put in such a position by an insensitive man. I think this is a wonderful way to deal with such a situation although it is unfortunate that being an attractive woman, you have to shoulder this responsibility instead of just being able to relax and be yourself. Still, kudos to you for making such a sincere effort!

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