How to Deal With Jealous Women

How to Deal With Jealous Women

A more physically ‘perfect’ or glamorous woman needn’t always cause jealousy amongst other women, but a beautiful, feminine woman can cause enormous jealousy.

If you’ve always been a beautiful and feminine woman, you would have experienced countless jealous looks and perhaps even jealous schemes, engineered by other women. It’s everywhere. And you can be a plain Jane and cause this jealous stir among other women, because you have something other women feel they do not; the amazing and mysterious force of femininity.

And, jealous women can be women on the street whom you don’t know, or even a jealous friend or jealous friends, in the form of ‘frenemies’ – friends who sometimes seem like a friend, and other times seem to want the worst for you. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Good looks do not keep a man. Every woman knows this deep down. And a physically gorgeous woman; even a famous woman crowned the most beautiful woman in the world, cannot have it all. Take Halle Berry for example, having been cheated on or left by every man she’s been with. Take Marilyn Monroe, who died way before she should have. Take Elle Macpherson, who in her 40s still has gorgeous looks, and yet she hasn’t held or kept a man. Take for example the large number of famous women who have committed suicide or died of some sort of drug overdose. No amount of beautiful looks or fame will fulfill a woman. You can be the most beautiful woman on earth, and still feel unloved.

But when a woman is truly feminine, she tends to never ever be short of men in her life if she’s single, or if she’s taken, she may find it hard to fight off her man’s adoring, admiring affections even if she wanted to. :)

Jealousy on Fire

More often than not, a loving, devoted and amazing man in another woman’s life will cause jealousy on fire in some other women.

More often than not, even if a feminine woman is single, other women will hate her, for no reason other than the fact that this woman has something that they feel is out of reach for them; true, radiant femininity and consequently, beauty! Which is the ultimate attractor of masculinity. Every woman can achieve true femininity, but not every woman does. In fact, women who are jealous are often not even really aware of what this other woman has that she doesn’t. All she knows is that she wants what she’s got, deep down.

Feminine women attract male attention. Feminine women can have the pick of the bunch, and yes, feminine women CAN have it all. Because true femininity is radiant and gives love. It is love and it is a force for life. Feminine energy is adored by men who are masculine at their core (most men), and regardless of her looks, a woman like this may still get the pick of the bunch.

Throughout the course of your life, (if you follow the femininity movement and embrace your feminine sexual core), you will most definitely encounter a trail of hateful and angry women. Regardless of your age. Jealousy isn’t just incited in other women only when you’re young and beautiful. It occurs simply if you are beautiful. And femininity is beautiful. Men will jump hoops to protect it, love it, embrace it and chase it.

Jealous women may just give you a nasty look, a hateful sideways glance, and if you’re lucky, they may bitch about you behind your back. If you’re unlucky, jealous women will go out of their way to bring you down.

And in this heavily masculine ambition driven society, there are plenty of them. Because women suppress their feminine energy to get things done, and to conform. So they don’t often get what they truly want to experience. Which is love.

Ultimately, we’re all looking for a feeling, and more often than not, most women want to fill up with love and to give love. Masculine women don’t tend to attract this in to their lives. So if you are feminine, you’ll have something that they feel they are missing out on, yet don’t quite know what it is or how to achieve it.

And life is unfair to start with. So we don’t all have the same opportunities. We’re not all born with stunning looks, and we’re not all given the requisite knowledge to live happy, fulfilling lives and to enjoy enriching and fulfilling intimate relationships and marriages.

Now if you’re a very feminine woman, you will most likely not feel a great deal of jealousy if you see another beautiful woman who is truly happy. In fact, you’ll most likely be really happy for her and want to revel in this happiness with her. Even if you do not have it yourself! This may be because you feel you too, can have what she has.

You are a rare creature :) not all women can revel in the good fortune of another woman.

If you are the kind of woman who feels guilty being in the spotlight, and although you feel and enjoy being feminine, find it hard to fully enjoy it without feeling bad about taking away the spotlight from other women.

Never dull your femininity to make other women feel like they are enough.

There’s a reason why anti-feminists often say that it is unattractive women who instigated the first and subsequent waves of feminist movements. (please note: I don’t know how accurately researched this video is, and I am aware that it is not necessarily true that it is solely unattractive women who instigate and support Feminist movements). However, I understand their position and can see why they perceive this to be the truth.

And unattractive is not purely physical. I believe a woman can actually change her looks and become uglier on the outside through her internal thought processes.

One way in which you can deal with jealousy is by befriending the jealous woman and lead her to feel more confident in herself, and being more giving to her. Giving her reasons to feel loved and accepted. That will bring out a different side to her. And, you can show other women who are less confident that they can have, and deserve to have everything that they want and need. However, there are times when women just don’t want to change or feel truly great about themselves. In these cases, you’ve just got to do some serious ‘pattern-breaking'; breaking of their patterns/habits! :)

How to deal with jealous women

If you find yourself in a situation in which you are surrounded by oppressive women who you can sense are not only talking about you behind your back, but actively do things behind your back to bring you down, it’s time to take action. Because you cannot let women like this walk all over you. A woman still has to be able to put her foot down when it is needed. (read my article about passive, aggressive and difficult women)

You may believe that a feminine woman should just stay quiet and perhaps just sacrifice her own needs to avoid being around these women. Not true.

I have said before that a feminine woman needs to have a masculine part to her as well; and this is a situation in which you need to go in to more masculine mode to stand up to women like this.

A story

I’ll give you an example. In my own life, I’ve experienced being in a workplace full of women several times. This time last year I was working as a perfume ambassador. Whilst in some places, women in this type of occupation would be quite feminine (and there were a couple where I worked), there were a few very masculine and butch women. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

On my first day, I encountered a young woman who also worked as a perfume ambassador, just for a different agent. I adore people, so I cheerfully introduced myself and intended to make a friend. Before I noticed the energy she was putting out. She had no interest in befriending me, in fact she immediately asserted herself as a manager, but made her position sound higher than what it really was. Because I was new there, I was easy to fool.

We shall call her ‘B’.

Immediately, B was asserting herself upon me and I was following her commands, although I actually wasn’t obligated to follower her commands. But she was still very oppressive, and I made the mistake of getting stuck in a ‘master-servant’ type role with her, which was very uncomfortable.

B’s intentions showed up more when I needed her expertise to guide me to where to find items, where other products were located, etc. She would never be concise and accurate. She was always deliberately vague, so much so that I had no idea where she was pointing me to. She wanted me to keep asking her, and ultimately, look foolish. I unfortunately let myself fall in to this role with her repeatedly.

She also knew I was never taught to use a register, and that it wasn’t a part of my job to be able to use one; yet she would tell me to put things through the register in front of a customer, and walk away without offering assistance.

During these incidents, I had to ask her repeatedly for directions and she would roll her eyes at me when I couldn’t follow her instructions. I kept on with this situation because I didn’t really want to believe that she could be so deliberately manipulative.

I noticed also, that her behavior got worse when my man came to visit me at work. He did this often, and was always very affectionate, protective and loving. He often picked me up from my shifts. Sometimes he would bring me a drink or food for my lunch break, and other times he just came briefly, to see how I was. I began to sense that every time he did come to see me, she would pull another woman aside, and talk about me and point at myself and David.

Over time, I noticed that the other women who I thought I had made friends with stopped wanting to talk to me. I felt left out and excluded. I ended up in tears in the ladies’ room, and found it hard to work. I found it hard to push on in this environment, and the energy was very bad.

One day her and another colleague were talking, and she confessed that she had never been on a date (she is 24, nearly 25) or had a man interested in her. I felt bad for ‘B’, and thus continued indicating that I was still open to her, and open to befriending her in some way, as I am with most people.

Until one day I met another colleague from a different department who told me how she was in tears one day after work because of the way ‘B’ had been treating her. I was forced to acknowledge that ‘B’ was preying on seemingly ‘weaker’ and softer women, who were more feminine, and more vulnerable, as this new colleague I met was very feminine.

And this is the trouble with being a very feminine woman. Whilst the majority of men will love you for it, and not want to hurt you in any way, there will be women who will want to put you down. Women, I find, tend to be different around other very feminine women. I’ve met women who love this and feel at home with other feminine women, but I’ve also come across women who smell femininity from a mile away and proceed to trample all over it. I personally love women, and celebrate femininity.

You’re probably wondering how I ended up dealing with ‘B’. One morning, I noticed that one woman whom had always been nice to me stopped talking to me completely and starting being very snarky. I had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with B. So I took the liberty of confronting my friend and asked. Indeed, B had told her, among other things, a blatant lie about me.

So I went up to B and confronted her in front of every employee, stating to her that she shall come to me from now on, to tell things to my face, rather than telling fibs behind my back. I proceeded to ask her why she was doing it, and I hadn’t seen myself cause fear in another woman for a long time, but I had to do it to liberate myself and to show her that I wasn’t going to tolerate her behavior.

The point of my story is to show that there are scenarios in which a feminine woman must assert herself and go in to more of a masculine mode. It’s all part of being a dynamic and whole woman who is able to bring out different sides of herself when it is needed. (read my article about light and dark feminine)

You need to raise your level of masculinity, become even more masculine than them, to bring things back to a little more fairness.

When confronted with jealous women, or even other aggressive women who disrespect you or your womanliness, it is important to stand your ground, rather than shy away from it. I learned this lesson, as I let the situation go on a lot longer than I should have!

Bring out the goddess in you, download your “Goddess Report”.

Do you have any strategies to deal with jealousy from other women? Or do you have any juicy stories? Feel free to share with us 😀

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  • me

    I’am so done with these type of women after years of putting up with that type of behavior I have learned to also be strong and bitchy right back in a sarcastic way with my own special comebacks that send them away.I started out nice and sweet always trying hard to fit in no matter what I did the snarky envy never seemed to die I just figured why let women like that ruin my spirit and my happiness on a daily basis.Now I only make friends with women that are strong enough to handle not being envious of me for whatever dumb reason the snarky one’s get envious about .I haven’t traded in my kind happy spirit simply replaced it when I need it with a woman more in control of never letting another mean woman step on me. It is sad because when I see that behavior I gravitate towards the sweet women and always stick up for them, no more letting those queen bees hurt someone.It’s not gonna stop me from shining.Most recent a group of women no matter what I do it’s always competition for no reason if I’am going to work the weirdest thing happens all of a sudden they all seem to have my schedule and weirdly leave and try to come back at the exact same times as they look out for my schedule.I can’t even come outside to water my yard for sure they will be outside copying every little detail making snarky comments. Last month I got a new car sure enough 4 of the neighbors got used trade in’s or borrowed cars from their families as to show me look at me I have one to and of course I just thought how childish is that.I put butterflies on my pots for sure they will do it.My friend on the block tells me it’s because I’am nice,successful ,beautiful and doing my own thing that they are snarky.I’am done trying to be nice to women like that who wants to befriend a bunch of haters with no self esteem or goals of their own?.Truly I didn’t realize how many women this happens to but the thing is the haters hate because they have no self love for themselves and beautiful spirited woman not only have outside beauty but inside beauty and you can’t buy that it’s just something that some of us have that causes other women to flip out since they will never attain it so they try to tear it down.I say to you who have experienced this behavior from catty snarky envious women don’t care about it anymore separate yourself from those women,get a new job if you have to.Keep shining that is the rewards that the haters hate you have a smile on your face in your heart and keep on doing as wonderful things will come to you.I always think imagine had they choosen to embrace me they would have a great friend someone caring who listens and they to could have good qualities.I do believe the purer you are in your heart good things come to you you get blessed not only materially but in other ways .I’am happy to surround myself with like minded women.

    • Jessica

      That’s wonderful that you learned how scandalous, petty, and stupid females can be. You had something they wanted but had no clue on how to get it for themselves. Their jealousy is a form of flattery, even though it’s an ugly trait to have. They’re just a season anyway. Let them continue to be jealous.

  • Nikki

    First off I’d like to say that I, at no point searched for this article/blog and wasn’t even aware that this topic was something that people or mostly women struggle with emotionally. I am a feminine women myself, well for the most part, but I do have a “Tomboy” side to me. I think like most other women I can adapted to my surroundings or situations. Your probably wondering what I mean and the example I present to you is simple. You wouldn’t wear high heels when you decide to climb a latter to the roof in hopes to sneak a moment of passion with a lover under the stars. Just like you wouldn’t forget to slip on something nice or possibly even coat your neck in an attractive scent your partner is sure to jaw-drop when he/she sees your beauty in candle light.

    So you see how a women, even the most feminine of women can NEVER really be truly and 100% feminine.
    I myself am a lesbian, a mother and a photographer all which will explain what im about to tell you. I am attracted to women for reasons that go beyond just physical appearances. Then in another hand I can also find myself attracted to men for reasons like having an outward personality an or a sense of humor. Outside appearances with either sex isn’t my first attraction even being as though I am a lesbian and the female body is attractive to me. I don’t find myself thinking of femininity at all and jealously that is something I am familiar with an also even have experiences in, but I don’t spend time dwelling on cause it doesn’t get me anywhere.

    I hope that I find someone in life that shares the same beliefs as I do. Plus I hope that they can be True an above all Honest in all parts of life.

    I know that my one an only is out there an during my wait I guess the only thing I can practice is patience.

    #SayNotoJealousy

  • With Love

    Hey Renee :)

    I wanted to read up on jealously, so thought I would check up on your blog since you are full of valuable insight.

    Well, my friend really pissed me off today… and deep down I would love to say that she only said what she did because she’s jealous!! Lol :) I think its nice sometimes to perceive that on some level – maybe it gives a level of comfort or a feeling of superiority – Who knows.

    Anyway, I’m really into my health and fitness and do some crazy things for the good of my health. I’ve really been getting into my fitness more recently and perhaps over done things a little – well maybe a lot – doing a 2 hour fitness DVD on some days.

    Soooooo, I thought to myself, instead of feeling helpless and curling up on the sofa feeling sorry for myself, I thought f*ck the haters who are probably just dieing to see me fall down and be stuck. Well, I truly picked myself and got excessively into my health and fitness. Maybe a little bit too much as I have purposely trying to get a lower waist to hip ratio.

    Today and a day previous to now, she said that I looked a size 6!! I felt so offended deep down as I’m naturally slender and quite tall. The worst part is that she drew an illustration with her hands of me being straight up and down; with no curves.

    Sure, I’ve lost probably more weight off my bum and legs than needs be due to excessive squats and lunges – I’m probably not getting enough protein in take for the amount of effort I’ve put in with my fitness. I was angry with my friend as felt slightly that she was putting me down or wanted me to be second guessing myself as she knows that I’m sensitive
    and take things to heart.

    However, on this occasion, I’ve decided that its time to turn things up a notch, so told my friend that I’m taking a break from the fitness and going to create a new health and fitness regime so my body can have time to repair its self and balance out more equally.

    If she thinks that I’m giving up on my love of health and fitness then she will see in time that I’m taking the time to better myself!!

    I don’t know, maybe she feels slightly bad as she put on a bit of weigh and isn’t into fitness and healthy eating as I am, so maybe she’s more conscious of her weight at the moment and maybe other peoples, too. Nevertheless, I shall use my time to come up with a much better health and fitness plan.

    Now I just think watch this space to the haters who are expecting me to fall as I’m growing stronger and healthier by the day.

    On a positive note, someone else said that I look around a size 8-10, which is what I am about.

    All good things to come. I hope in the near future that I can tap more so to my feminine energy. It certainly makes me feel better about everything – the key to happiness perhaps.

  • Laura

    You have a really good point here. It reminds me of something my dad taught me and my sister when we were growing up: There is nothing more feminine than a mother, but in certain circumstances, there is nothing more dangerous either. In nature, if you threaten a nursing mother or her young, you’d better be ready for a serious fight. I don’t think it is masculine to protect yourself or your ‘young’ in the absence of a man – or even, to protect your ‘young’ in the presence of a man. (It would not be feminine to try and protect a man though, haha!).
    I think part of being feminine is responding to circumstances and remaining flexible. Sometimes that means responding to aggression. You didn’t attempt to ‘dominate’ your attacker, just to fend her off – hopefully far enough that she would not come back :) My parents had very similar ideas about feminine and masculine energy that you cover here at The Feminine Woman. (They have been together for over 30 years). They taught me and my sister that being a woman is felxible, and that means making yourself attractive and approachable when you want to attract, and making yourself unattractive and unapproachable when you need to protect. Like you often say, it’s about trusting your instincts in each situation.
    Anyway, I appreciate the work you’re doing here. I am 26 and in a long-term commited relationship. It’s always good to have new information for those experiences that are tough and confusing :) Thank you both!

  • River

    Also its bigoted to say a woman is becoming masculine for asserting herself, and its bigoted to say bad behaved women are masculine, all you’re doing here in reinforcing gender stereotypes and harming all genders.

  • River

    I wish your site would show “masculine” women the same respect as any other women. Instead of being such gender bigots. Its wrong that instrumental based/masculine women envy feminine women, we dont instead we want to be able to get on with our lived without being gender policed and forced into the binary.

  • Kylee

    Hi Ladies,

    I come here to vent when I’m lost for answers. I’ve had the most unbelievable experience recently. Late last year, our primary school had it’s annual sports day. My son won his race but unfortunately the adjudicator called it wrong and gave him second. All parents at the finish line were perplexed because it was clear who won. I approached the teacher and then later the principal and awkwardly but gently explained what had happened and that perhaps they could afford my son a blue ribbon as a consolation prize because of the mistake. The principal stonewalled me and argued. It was out of character for her but she looked at both me and my boy and said “Fine I’ll give you a ribbon but you won’t have deserved it!” She was horrible to us. After almost begging her to stop being so mean I walked away and told her she was a disgrace. Some nosy bitchy mums were around and listening. My boy and I left crying, he asked why should he try if he isn’t rewarded for it. Two weeks later my son had a nasty fall at school, he fell backwards onto some bluestone pavers jagged out of the garden ben. The injury didn’t present as particularly serious until the next morning when he couldn’t walk right so I took him to doctors and then for an xray. Turns out there was a fracture in the vertebrae. I immediately called the school to inform them so they could complete any incident/injury reports and let them know he wouldn’t be returning to school for the rest of the year (it was a week or so before Xmas holidays.) I got a call back telling me because he hadn’t presented to sick bay then it was considered a non-incident and not their problem. I was astounded by their lack of sympathy, responsibility and their apparent agenda to inform me that there was no legal fallback for us. They didn’t even ask how he was; where it happened; for me to show them the area; to ascertain if there were any risks for other children. They just didn’t want to be sued. I got quite angry and among other things, including seeking legal representation for any future medical issues, I got onto my own personal facebook page and vented to my friends about what had happened. I have nobody from school on my facebook page because honestly, I don’t trust them with information about my life. But a mother who I am friends with made a comment agreeing that this was the reason she removed her son from the school 3 years earlier. Well it seems that she still had contacts in her friends list who go to our school and they were then able to follow the thread from her comment to my post. 2 months later (yesterday) I get a threatening letter regarding my facebook page from the school demanding me to take it down. I used the process of elimination to figure out that there were 4 mothers on her friends list (from our school) who would have been privy to her comment on my post. 3/4 of these women are from the hating women’s group at our school who have been absolutely horrible to me for 5 years now. I have avoided them so that I only surround myself with good people, but in essence, they’ve hunted through the facebook page, found the post, printed it off and waited 2 months until school resumed to pass this on to the principal. What kind of hate dwells in the mind and heart of these horrible bitches to go to those lengths to bring someone down? If they hate me, stay away. But no they effectively stalked me, found something that could hurt me and then used it to try and destroy me. I knew women were horrible but this is a whole new world of hate that I’m flabbergasted actually exists. I can’t even have my own private life without them using their canine noses to sniff me out and attack. Why? Really? Why do they hate so much? It has crushed me. I know I’ve used a lot of words here but really, none of these words can express the immense shock at their behaviour. None at all.

  • kate

    My girlfriends and I always have this conversation. We use to be models and have mainstream attractive features. Its very difficult to deal with jealous types. But I think the best way is to try and avoid the situation.

    For example, I try to avoid talking about my personal relationships and I also try to avoid getting flowers or attention at work. I avoid wearing form fitting clothes or make-up at work. Also when I am being interviewed for a job, if I know its a woman interviewer, I try to wear pants, flats, no make-up and “flasses” fake glasses to make myself appear plain jane.

    Lets face it, women are catty. Also if a woman demonstrates ambition at work, she is often seen as a “bitch” or someone out for herself. If a guy demonstrates ambition its generally regarded as a good characteristic. That’s why I find Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” to be flawed. So being an attractive woman, when I try to reach out for more responsibility and climb the corporate ladder, you can bet there are a lot of middle aged women in Human Resource that will do what they can to keep the gate closed.

    Navigating through social dynamics is extremely tricky when you are an attractive woman. I have so many do’s and don’ts I can probably write a book.