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💔💔 I know many of us have been burned by a man (or men) in the past. However, it’s one thing to grieve, process and appreciate exactly what happened in our past – coming out of that experience more aware, emotionally calibrated to men and better at protecting our investment with men in the future.

It’s another to refuse to grieve, process and feel – instead choosing to blame the male gender overall for being sh*t. That approach, though easy, just leads to gutlessness and invulnerability.

It also leads to resentment and defensiveness, killing our chances of showing up high value and showing the world our beautiful femininity and vulnerability. It also leads us down the path of showing up as the ‘one of many’ type of woman.

The one of many type of woman is in all of us. She can be as sexy and attractive as is possible, but is incapable of making men feel anything for her, because she’s always held back, always defensive, on guard and won’t let herself feel. When women don’t let themselves feel, they tend to become too defensive and closed off.

When women become too defensive and closed off, they shrink their own natural, inborn ability to deepen romantic relationships emotionally. Therefore, men can’t emotionally commit to them because men can’t feel anything FOR them.

Every girl who is able to feel deeper, naturally uses her ability to attach in relationships to calibrate herself to men, choose the right man, and deepen any relationship with any man emotionally.

The one and only type of woman has a special kind of sensitivity and vulnerability about her that any woman can achieve – even those of us who have been hurt the most. I promise.

If you would like to learn the one specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to WANT to commit to one woman, and take care of only her for life, you can learn that secret right here.

So…all this to say that YES, it’s your responsibility to grieve and process past hurts with men. With friends. With life. Feel them fully. It’s ok to feel. No one else can and should take that responsibility off you – you can ask others to listen and support you, you can ask people to be there for you, but no one can FULLY shoulder the burden of grieving for you.

What I learned, the hard way is that there’s usually never a good reason to throw away an opportunity to grieve.

Yes, grieve even the small, seemingly insignificant things.

The pattern of refusal will only close you off further, dampen your unique feminine radiance and lead you further away from the deep emotionally connected relationships that we all crave.

I know. It’s hard. But remember, this is for yourself.

Sending you love, 💓💟🌺

renee wade

P.S. By the way, if you want more information on how to show up as the one and only type of woman and have your chosen man beg you to be his one and only, you should really get a copy of my free dvd “Becoming His One & Only” Here: www.bhoodvd.com.

And if you want to learn about high value vulnerability, read my article “4 Top Secret Ways to Access Your High Value Vulnerability”.

P.P.S. Connect with me on social media

Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link

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AllisonBetsySoulLexieThe Phoenician Recent comment authors
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This is a really great point – and a stage that i sometimes feel ashamed of – but realize i absolutely DO need to feel and grieve to move on. However, one thing that happens to me in this stage is wanting to go back to a relationship that wasn’t good for me. When i begin letting myself feel, i miss the man i broke it off with, and i begin craving that affection / connection and i want to go back. OR i doubt my decision (to break things off).


Hey Renee, My man and I had some honesty talks(well…really an honesty crying time) about how little he was putting into our relationship and how I was enabling that…I could not have shared that in a way that he could really feel without that grief in front of him, and privately. Thank you, thank you, thank you for shining your light bravely for us fellow women to follow! <3
P.s. I really appreciated the bite size length of this article too.


Hi Renee Loving your articles as always. I KNOW that you come from the best place possible and just exactly how much of a unique gift you bring to the world. — please keeping being you because we really need your wisdom and guidance in this modern day reality; I know you will do this anyway. In recent time, I was watching Iskra Lawrence, the plus sized model, do a YouTube video. Some reporter had said that Iskra was encouraging young girls to not look after themselves (in terms of eating and lifestyle habits). The information was completely misunderstood and… Read more »

The Phoenician
The Phoenician

Thank you for this article! I am one of the women that have been in a long term relationship from the age of 18 to 47 and then again from 49 to the present (I’m 52 years old at this time.) I enjoy reading your articles as a confirmation and as a chance to grow further in my relationship. And you are always correct in pointing us within. The more we allow ourselves to feel, to process, the more we have to offer!


You are telling a woman who has been sexually harassed by a married professor with two kids in grad school to get over it. To trust men again, to let herself to lose everything she’d had upto that point again. Not wise nor useful advise, because it only encourages women to be open to abuse. This isn’t going to work For the society and its culture. For abused women to open up, you have to start with making it safe for them to do so. Women who have been punished and taken advantage of for being kind and vulnerable are… Read more »


Hi Ally I don’t think Renee was saying to just get over past abuse etc (not that I can speak for anyone else other than myself). I too have been through some inhuman situations, because of my conditioning and experiences attracted. Every so often I will get flash backs and feel like “oh no” what did I put myself through when I didn’t have a natural inclination to realize poor boundaries etc. I don’t believe that we just have to ‘drop stuff’, all of what we are feeling and just be ok with what’s been and done. From my experience,… Read more »

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