Article updated 2018
What Is Femininity – How to Be Feminine
If a woman is really feminine, she will most likely attract a really masculine male. If you are struggling to get in touch with your femininity, or are fearing being more feminine, I encourage you to live truly in your core (again, some women are masculine at their core). Overall, most women are truly feminine at their core. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)
Femininity and “Rules”
I’m not here to tell you that there are 1 million and 1 rules for being feminine. For example, you don’t have to do the washing and cleaning in order to be feminine. You can be feminine without doing these things. You are also not immediately feminine just because you wear dresses all the time, wear long hair (although, I do believe keeping your hair long is immensely helpful for achieving a feminine ‘image’), but you can still be very feminine with short hair or a bob (take for example, Halle Berry, Winona Ryder, Natalie Portman and Heidi Klum when they don a short ‘do). (read my article about the case of going without make up)
Femininity is Not. About. Rules. Rules = rigid, and a really feminine woman is definitely not rigid! Femininity is about being FREE. Free to be yourself, free to love, and be loved, free to not judge others, free to want the best for others, free to not expect others to conform to your rules, free to understand, free to lead and not follow, free to believe rather than doubt, free to be a force for good, free to care, free to love yourself, free to…..(there are lots more).
By free I mean, to not be trapped in your own negative beliefs, and to not trap yourself and stop yourself from fulfilling your full potential in your life. Ultimately, you’re here on this site because you want more, and you want to learn. I think all of us want more. The only barrier to having more is within yourself – the perspective you have on something. You can either have a perspective that empowers you – or you can have a perspective that DISempowers you.
If I may give my perspective, I’d say we’re all here to become the best we can possibly be. Once you’re free from suffering, you are much more able to have a fulfilling relationship with your man, be a better friend, a better mother, a better daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife, whatever roles you play. This is why this site is here, to help you achieve all of these things.
If a woman doesn’t feel free in her life, she will exude this heavy, dead kind of energy which doesn’t encourage men (or women) to want to be around them. You’ve probably met many women who exude this kind of energy, too.
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Femininity starts from within
You can still dress in pants and be feminine. You can still wear tailored suits and be feminine. You can still wear jeans, army pants, hoodies, trackies, whatever – and be feminine. As I have said before, being feminine is about who you are from the INSIDE. If you radiate a sense of feminine freedom, softness and happiness, you can wear a paper bag and you’ll still be feminine. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)
It really has little to do with your looks. Whatever your look or style is, there are men and women out there who will find you attractive, gorgeous and beautiful. I do recommend dressing traditionally feminine. However, my point is that if you don’t; this doesn’t necessarily preclude you from being a feminine woman. Do you think men can still be masculine with long hair for example? Of course they can!
Of course, wearing dresses, perfume, ribbons, bows, long hair, earrings, heels etc – are an instant visual cue for femininity. You are however, not confined to one way of doing things in order to become more feminine. If you can stimulate your man intellectually, sexually, mentally, spiritually, inspire him to become better and to do more and achieve more success and happiness – trust me, you’re worth a whole lot more than the perfect physical ‘canvass’ of a woman that is hollow inside. And, more often than not, it’s the empty vessel that makes the most noise, right? 🙂
By the way – just because I say femininity is about freedom, I don’t mean that a woman always wants freedom. I mean that a truly feminine woman is not TRAPPED in her head. In dis-empowering beliefs. And anyway, a critical part of feminine energy wants to be owned by her man. Don’t all of us women want to be taken, sometimes? We all want a strong man who knows what he wants and is confident enough to go and get it. Not only this, but he’s confident enough to lead his woman. If a man is always soft and gentle to you, that gets boring after a while, doesn’t it?! 🙂 (read my article about radiate deeper femininity and attract men to you trust)
I have mentioned before that you should dress in feminine clothing that suits you. If you want to keep your ideal man for life, your image is important, and it helps immensely to appear feminine (feminine, not slutty) on the outside, but you don’t have to. It’s all about having grace, and most importantly, exuding self-confidence. (read my article about how to be confident with men)
You can still play sports and be feminine. It’s HOW you do it that determines whether you’re more manly or more womanly. Sure, there are sports that I would recommend staying away from for a feminine woman, because it’s sometimes very hard to play those particular sports in a feminine manner, but most of them are fine.
You’re not just one kind of person. You can go for a run, or play golf, but do it in a feminine way (a woman who lives in her feminine sexual essence will do this naturally).
Feminine/Masculine in a woman
Also – there are definitely masculine facets to every woman. We need masculine energy as well, to be balanced, and to get things done and to move forward. When I was doing my Law degree, and completing my exams, you can bet I was in more masculine mode! Masculine energy is FOCUSED and feminine energy tends to fluctuate more.
Women can also do heaps of things at once, but men generally work a whole lot better when focusing on one thing. And believe me, I needed to focus in order to pass my exams (any exam!). I got through, but my exam periods did terrible things to the balance of my relationship with my man. He hated me studying. Those were the times when our passion dwindled.
So, every woman would ideally have a very well developed masculine facet to her personality, and every man would ideally have a very well developed feminine side to his character. Although of course – the majority of a feminine woman’s character will be taken up by feminine energy.
More on traits of a feminine woman
If you would like to learn more about what feminine traits are, I’ve done a number of posts talking about this – please click on the category ‘femininity’ on the top of the page. There are plenty of posts there for you to peruse, just so that I’m not repeating myself in my posts. 🙂 Also, if you would like to read ‘What is Femininity’ part 1, please click here.
Thank YOU and take care! 🙂
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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