What Is Femininity?

If a woman is really feminine, she will be more likely attract a really masculine male. It’s no guarantee, after all, not all women who are feminine can attract a strong masculine man.

(This is part 2 of a two article series on What Is Femininity. See part 1 here.)

If you are struggling to get in touch with your femininity, or are fearing being more feminine, I encourage you to live truly in your core.

(Some women are masculine at their core).

Overall, most women are truly feminine at their core.

What Is Femininity

(Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

CLICK HERE to discover how much you truly live in your feminine energy with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Femininity and “Rules”

I’m not here to tell you that there are 1 million and 1 rules for being feminine.

For example, you don’t have to do the washing and cleaning in order to be feminine. You can be feminine without doing these things.

You are also not immediately feminine just because you wear dresses all the time, wear long hair (although, I do believe keeping your hair long is immensely helpful for achieving a feminine ‘image’).

But you can still be very feminine with short hair or a bob (take for example, Halle Berry, Winona Ryder, Natalie Portman and Heidi Klum when they don a short ‘do). 

(Read my article about the case for going without make up)

Femininity is Not. About. Rules.

Rules = rigid, and a really feminine woman is definitely not rigid! Femininity is about being FREE.

Free to be yourself, free to love and be loved.

Free to not judge others, free to want the best for others, free to not expect others to conform to your rules.

Free to understand, free to lead and not follow, free to believe rather than doubt.

Free to do good, free to care, free to love yourself,

Free to be all parts of yourself, free to embody your dark and light feminine and yes, even free to be masculine when you need to be!

By free I mean, to not be trapped in your own negative beliefs, and to not trap yourself and stop yourself from fulfilling your full potential in your life.

Ultimately, you’re here on this site because you want more, and you want to learn. I think all of us want more.

The only barrier to having more is within yourself – the perspective you have on something.

You can either have a perspective that empowers you – or you can have a perspective that DISempowers you.

If I may give my perspective, I’d say we’re all here to become the best we can possibly be.

Once you’re free from suffering, you are much more able to have a fulfilling relationship with your man, be a better friend, a better mother, a better daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife, whatever shoes you fill.

If a woman doesn’t feel free in her life, she will exude this heavy, dead kind of energy which doesn’t encourage men (or women) to want to be around her.

You’ve probably met many women who exude this kind of energy, too.

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Femininity starts from within

You can still dress in pants and be feminine. You can still wear tailored suits and be feminine.

You can still wear jeans, army pants, hoodies, trackies, whatever – and be feminine.

As I have said before, being feminine is about who you are from the INSIDE.

If you radiate a sense of feminine freedom, softness and happiness, you can wear a paper bag and you’ll still be feminine. 

It really has little to do with your looks. Whatever your look or style is, there are men and women out there who will find you attractive, gorgeous and beautiful.

I do recommend try dressing traditionally feminine and elegant.

However, my point is that if you don’t; this doesn’t necessarily preclude you from being a feminine woman.

Do you think men can still be masculine with long hair for example? Of course they can!

Of course, wearing dresses, perfume, ribbons, bows, long hair, earrings, heels etc – are an instant visual cue for femininity.

You are however, not confined to one way of doing things in order to become more feminine.

If you can stimulate your man intellectually, sexually, mentally, spiritually, inspire him to become better and to achieve more success and happiness – trust me, you’re worth a whole lot more than the perfect physical ‘canvass’ of a woman that is hollow inside.

And, more often than not, it’s the empty vessel that makes the most noise, right?

By the way – just because I say femininity is about freedom, I don’t mean that a woman always wants freedom.

I mean that a truly feminine woman is not TRAPPED in her head. In dis-empowering beliefs.

And anyway, a critical part of feminine energy wants to be owned by her man.

Don’t all of us women want to be owned by a strong man, sometimes?

We all want a strong man who knows what he wants and is confident enough to go and get it.

Not only this, but he’s confident enough to lead his woman. A man can be soft if he likes too, but if a man is always soft and gentle to you, that gets boring after a while, doesn’t it?!

(Read my article about How To Be Soft And Feminine)

Feminine image

I have mentioned before that you should dress in feminine clothing that suits you.

If you want to keep your ideal man for life, your image is important, and it helps immensely to appear feminine (feminine, not slutty) on the outside.

But you don’t have to. It’s all about having grace, and most importantly, exuding self-confidence. (Read my article about how to be confident with men).

You can still play sports and be feminine. It’s HOW you do it that determines whether you’re more manly or more womanly.

You’re not just one kind of person. You can go for a run, or play golf, but do it in a way that you enjoy. Ie: don’t do it just to try to be more worthy! (A woman who lives in her feminine sexual essence will do this naturally).

Feminine/Masculine in a woman

There are definitely masculine facets to every woman. We need masculine energy as well, to be balanced, and to get things done and to move forward.

When I was doing my Law degree, and completing my exams, you can bet I was in more masculine mode! Masculine energy is FOCUSED and feminine energy tends to fluctuate more.

Women can also do heaps of things at once, but men generally work a whole lot better when focusing on one thing.

And believe me, I needed to focus in order to pass my exams (any exam!). I got through, but my exam periods did terrible things to the balance of my relationship with my man.

He hated me studying. Those were the times when our passion dwindled.

So, every woman would ideally have a very well developed masculine facet to her personality.

And every man would ideally have a very well developed feminine side to his character. Although of course – the majority of a feminine woman’s character will be taken up by feminine energy.

More on traits of a feminine woman

If you would like to learn more about what feminine traits are, I’ve done a number of posts talking about this.

But you can take a look at this image below to help you understand what feminine energy really is:

what is feminine

There are plenty more posts on feminine energy here for you to peruse, just so that I’m not repeating myself in my posts. 🙂

Also, if you would like to read ‘What is Femininity’ part 1, please click here.

Thank YOU and take care! 🙂

Do you want to understand more about how to read a man? Knowledge on how men think is your power with men, so go find the answers to your questions in our program Understanding Men. Click here to learn more about this popular program.

By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!


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Indi Hart
Indi Hart

Is femininity also a type of attitude?

Super Janice
Super Janice

I’m not sure whether I’m feminine or not!
When I win a competition,I’m happy!When I lose,I’m angry.
I am super RIGID. My ideal world is to everyone being masculine!

Battery muncher
Battery muncher


Battery muncher
Battery muncher

Kys this is garbage. Hate it -Apple out of 10. Follow my name.


Femininity inside out. You can wear masculine clothes, but femininity still shines through. It is easy to tell!




To be honest, I don’t feel as though I would feel much attraction with a man being soft. I think I like it best/or notice more when a man has a more serious look. I had a friend or I don’t speak to anymore who was very soft in nature. He was a lovely person but I didn’t feel any attraction to him. I have another friend who is nothing like the first person. Sometimes he looks so serious in his body language, but it always puts a smile on my face. I haven’t told him that I like his… Read more »


Hello Renee and David I hope that you are both doing well and are enjoying being parents to your baby boy Tyson. I’ve been reading a few articles now and really finding the blog to be very helpful and informativ,e If anything, the work that’s been put into the feminine woman blog has given me reason to question myself and look at my motives. Well I can only do the best I know how with the knowledge that I’ve been taught in life :-). I’m at a point in my life now were I’ve realised that I’ve become quite a… Read more »

Reply to  Holly

I would say that I wouldn’t know if I’m more feminine or masculine at core. I’d like to think that I’m more feminine and just trained myself up to be more masculine due to poor life experiences. The insight that I’ve taken from my life experience is that I use to be very giving with a lovely side until I realized that people were walking all over me and taking advantage , which is what brought me to the point of closing down from people and turning into a robot. Thankfully now I have enough trust within myself to be… Read more »


Thank You girls! 🙂 I think some women mistake becoming more feminine for following a certain set of “rules”.

For example, You don’t HAVE to dress in a certain way to be feminine. Dressing feminine has a lot of real benefits, and it helps, but I think most people would agree that there are plenty of women who dress feminine but aren’t actually feminine. 🙂


I really like this post. Although I like feminine things, a huge part of my identity is my intellect. I love reading philosophy, for example. I’ve got lot’s of philosophy books stacked right next to my romance novels! Knowledge and reason are part of my core, right up there with all of my feminine things such as wanting to learn more home arts and the fact that I dislike wearing pants (I find skirts more “free-ing”).

As of late, part of me has been integrating both intellectual and feminine even though they aren’t mutually exclusive.


THIS is the post that I have been needing to hear! It is too easy for me (and I am sure many other women) to be “trapped” in the rules of looking, being, acting feminine. How wonderful to hear that I can be free and me while still pursuing my inner core! Thank you for your wonderful post!

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