If you consult any source about femininity or any dating sources that discuss the importance of a woman’s feminine energy, you will find common themes.
Themes that they teach surrounding this idea of feminine energy.
Specifically, you’ll notice that most sources argue that femininity is soft, receptive, gentle, kind, innocent and caring.
Whilst femininity certainly consists of these things – most people consider only the Light side of Femininity.
Think good housewives, think princesses. We’re taught to be a good person from when we’re kids – but sometimes this is all just not enough to attract the man we want.
The reality is that there is so much more to Femininity! Traditional ideas and concepts of femininity confine women to a particular way of acting. Hence for many women, they find that they are not at home being this ‘dark’ facet of the Feminine.
You Need Dark And Light Energy To Survive
To be blunt, you need to be both dark and light to survive in this world. How many times have we heard of stories of a goodie-two-shoes girlfriend, staying at home whilst the boyfriend cheats on her behind her back?
Being a nice girl is simply not enough. It may be a pleasant experience for a while, but guys will get sick of you.
And this isn’t to say that you need to exhaust yourself to try to be ‘more’. This is to say that you should stop resisting the truth of who you are.
Because the truth of who you are is likely buried beneath layers of trying to fit in, trying to keep friends, and trying to gain the approval of society at large.
(All at the cost of the quality of your life and your relationships, of course!)
Most Women Need To Tap Into Their Dark Feminine – Here’s Why
What you need to do is to tap into the darkness of your femininity.
Dark and light exist in both masculinity and femininity. There is a Dark and Light Feminine, and there is also Dark and Light Masculine. (read my article about surrendering to masculine energy)
Feminine energy is an absolutely phenomenal gift – both for women to experience within themselves and for the men and women around them to behold.
However, because most of us have to work at a job and keep friends, we have little choice but to shun the dark feminine.
It’s actually not possible to keep a lot of friends and keep a good job long-term if you live primarily in your dark feminine.
This is to say that most women are very good at the light feminine, but don’t know how to express their healthy dark feminine.
As such, it frustrates me much for people to think only of the girlish and innocent side of the Feminine.
There Is More To You Than You’re expressing
This may sound bizarre and slightly ‘new age’, but there is more to you than most of us think, believe acknowledge or understand.
Many of us reject something within ourselves or within others if it doesn’t fit a particular mould, or if it doesn’t suit who they have shown up to be over the years.
What happens then is that you are locked into one way of doing things. This ultimately leaves both men and women completely dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
For example, you are never simply just a mother, a daughter or a best friend. You are also a lover, a fighter, a chef (if this is a part of you), and many other things.
The majority of women are unaware of the Light and Dark Feminine and how liberating it will be for them to embrace both.
They are also unaware of how the Light and Dark energies work, as well as how each one attracts and fulfils a man, or how absolutely crucial these two facets of femininity are in an intimate relationship.
Lack Of Dark Energy Is One Reason People Leave Their Relationships
Some men and women feel ultimately dissatisfied and even leave their spouse because of the very restrictions that being one ‘type’ of femininity or masculinity causes.
It confines an otherwise beautiful and passionate relationship to boredom and ultimately, either one or both partners will feel unfulfilled at best, and/or lose interest in their spouse at the worst!
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Keys To Being Dark Feminine
What are the keys to radiating dark femininity?
First, acknowledge that it’s not about deliberately being mean and nasty just to feel superior. This is rather void of real energy.
The true dark side of a woman is only healthily expressed when she has secure attachment inside of a relationship.
True dark feminine energy is not born of deep fears of relating, or deep fears of being vulnerable. It is born of being ok with being what society doesn’t want or allow you to be.
It’s about being deeply attuned in your relationship. When you’re attuned, you can bounce back energy to your man, and you can play around in the realms of desire and depth.
Playful banter is a huge part of being dark feminine. Hubby and I wrote an article on How To Banter.
When bantering, you are free to role play and be spontaneous. This role playing and spontaneity allows you to poke at and bring out different types of people in a guy.
Which means he is being filled up by the different facets of your relationship together. You’re never confined to just being best friends, like many relationships born out of convenience are.
Instead, you can be nurse and patient, you can be new girl on the block, you can be the mistress who plays with fire while he is a married man, etc etc.
This is NOT just about role playing though. It’s about honouring WHO you would show up as if you weren’t seeking approval and acceptance.
Dark and Light Feminine The Program………
When I wrote the first version of this article a decade ago, I was launching a new program called ‘Dark and Light Feminine’.
We have since phased out this program. But you can learn more about what the dark and light feminine is, and how to embody it in my article Dark and Light Feminine: A Quick Contrast.
Please leave a comment below this post telling me about your thoughts, opinions, or concerns (any concerns or confusions are welcome) about Femininity.
Ask me any questions about being a woman, about men, or your relationship.
By the way, I’ve just published my brand new program titled “Becoming His One & Only!”…Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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