The Dark Side of Femininity

Article updated 2018

If you consult any source specifically about femininity or any dating sources that discuss the importance of a woman’s femininity, you will find they teach that Femininity is soft, gentle kind, innocent and caring. Whilst femininity certainly comprises these things – most people consider only the Light side of Femininity.

Think good housewives, think princesses; we’re taught to be a good person from when we’re kids – but sometimes this is all just not enough to attract the man we want.

The reality is that there is so much more to Femininity! Traditional ideas and concepts of femininity confine women to a particular way of acting. Hence for many women, they find that they are not at home being this ‘dark’ facet of the Feminine. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Feminine Am I Actually?”)

To be blunt, you need to be both dark and light, to survive in this world. How many times have we heard of stories of a goodie-two-shoes girlfriend, staying at home whilst the boyfriend cheats on her behind her back?

Being a nice girl is simply not enough. It may be a pleasant experience for a while, but guys will get sick of you.

What you need to do is to tap into the darkness of your femininity. Dark and light exist in both masculinity and femininity. There is a Dark and Light Feminine, and there is also Dark and Light Masculine. (read my article about surrendering to masculine energy)

Feminine energy is an absolutely phenomenal gift – both for women to experience within themselves and for the men and women around them to behold. As such, it frustrates me much for people to think only of the girlish and innocent side of the Feminine.

This may sound bizarre and slightly ‘new age’, but there is more to you than most of us think, believe acknowledge or understand. Many of us reject something within ourselves or within others if it doesn’t fit a particular mold, or if it doesn’t suit who they have shown up to be over the years. What happens then is that you are locked into one way of doing things. This ultimately leaves both men and women completely dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

For example, you are never simply just a mother, a daughter or a best friend. You are also a lover, a chef (if this is a part of you), and many other things.

The majority of women are unaware of the Light and Dark Feminine and how liberating it will be for them to embrace both. They are also unaware of how the Light and Dark energies work, as well as how each one attracts and fulfills a man, or how absolutely crucial these two facets of femininity are in an intimate relationship. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Some men and women feel ultimately dissatisfied and even leave their spouse because of the very restrictions that being one ‘type’ of femininity or masculinity causes. It confines an otherwise beautiful and passionate relationship to boredom, and ultimately, either one or both partners will feel unfulfilled at best, and/or lose interest in their spouse at the worst!

There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…

Dark and Light Feminine The Program………

By the way, I am nearly finished with a New Program called ‘Dark and Light Feminine’. As I approach the final chapters, I am extremely excited for the release of this new program!

I am also interested to know what questions you may have about Dark and Light Femininity, and what you would like to see covered in this comprehensive Program. It will be released within the next 4 weeks and will delve deeply into how to discover and embody the light and dark side of your femininity, as well as how to attract the light and dark masculine either in your current man or in a future man. I will also be releasing more information about Dark and Light Feminine – the Program, and what it will cover in each module/section prior to the Release date.

For now, you can get the 17 Attraction Triggers and capture your man’s attention.

So, please leave a comment below this post telling me about your thoughts, opinions, or concerns (any concerns or confusions are welcome) about Femininity, being a woman, about men, or your relationship. I want to make this program as comprehensive as possible for you.

By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. 

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mary
mary

Allow the dark side to show up, and the light side will shine more. The femininity becomes stagnant and fails to be authentic if we don’t allow it to swing between its very nuances.

Theresa Hattingh
Theresa Hattingh

I am a straight and authentic talker, and will mostly keep my views to myself. That said, I am very certain of who I am and if folk, particularly men, don’t get a message, I can be pushed to be blunt …and this “dark” side of me is seen to be very forthright. Society accepts this from a man, but not easily from a woman. I am generally seen as a very kind, but no-nonsense person. Often alpha men run in the opposite direction, yet I need to he true to myself. I left an abusive relationship, where I made… Read more »

Sandy
Sandy

Still waiting for this program especially the dark side and how to develop it or unleash it. Thank youu Renee

Tina Sage
Tina Sage

Guys like women who are direct and honest. It just how you come across with your approach.

Tina Sage
Tina Sage

No, I don’t think that was the case. Sounds like the guy just was joking with Jessica and he may have not been truly interested.

Jessica
Jessica

I found my dark feminine side when I went into the military. I was thinking like a man when it came to sex and other types of seduction to lure a man into bed with me. I was bold enough to tell a guy I was attracted to that I wanted to get in his underwear. That shocked him to the core. Another time, I was joking with a guy and told him screw him. He said, “When, where and how long?” I answered each question and he got quiet. I told him, “Don’t nut up now. What’s up?” I… Read more »

YaHabibtiColoosh
YaHabibtiColoosh
Reply to  Jessica

They were unnerved by it because it was masculine energy, not feminine. The dark feminine is very sensual, very assertive but still subtle. Dark femininity means tapping into that sexy side and using it in a cunning way to get men to respond to you.

Jessica W
Jessica W

I was young at the time. I wasn’t going to hold back from saying what I wanted. I still don’t even now. He just wasn’t ready for me.

YaHabibtiColoosh
YaHabibtiColoosh
Reply to  Jessica W

Most men aren’t ready or interested in women who act like men…just saying.

Seniorita Slapahoe
Seniorita Slapahoe

In his case, he wasn’t ready for a woman that knew what she wanted upfront. Just keeping it 100.

YaHabibtiColoosh
YaHabibtiColoosh

Whatever you need to tell yourself, I guess.

Jess Getoverit
Jess Getoverit

I know. It’s always whatever when the truth hits a nerve.

YaHabibtiColoosh
YaHabibtiColoosh
Reply to  Jess Getoverit

I didn’t say just “whatever”. I said “Whatever [it is] you need to tell yourself, I guess”, meaning “if that’s what helps you cope, fine”. I think it’s hitting a nerve with you since you’re the one getting defensive.

Jessica W
Jessica W

Wasn’t getting defensive at all. I’m just calling it how I see it. Just keeping it 100.

Tina Sage
Tina Sage

I agree. But Sounds like the guy just was joking with Jessica and he may have not been truly interested. A guy friend told me that guys like women who are direct and honest. It just how you come across with your approach.

mary
mary
Reply to  Jessica

Very fun! This type of experience enriches your view of sexuality, masculinity and femininity; and helps you to be more open toward yourself and others.

frankie
frankie

I didn’t read all these comments but I flicked through the start of one that said something about women being jealous of other women. I have been on a long and interesting journey (am only 28) but I used to hate all men, men were the problem bla bla bla but recently after doing lots of reading of articles and programs like these, I have come to the conclusion that actually it’s women with the problem. Insecurities etc etc, we are the stronger species and we need to let our ego’s go so our men can feel like men and… Read more »

JennyD
JennyD
Reply to  frankie

I could saved you some time and gotten you to the point of seeing every one for who they are, regardless of gender, by introducing you to my parents. You can spend the day with my dad and feel better about yourself and your place in the world, but your self esteem would only be safe with my mom for a few minutes.

alicia
alicia

Hi Renee

BRILLIANT ARTICLE!!!!!

I need to understand celebrate and enjoy my dark side more – I would like to see a detailed program, exercises and the ability to email quesitons to you and have you respond to them either in a forum for those that purchase the program or by email.

It says program will be out in 4 weeks – some of the comments here are dated 2010 and yet I cannot see the program on your program tab – hopefuylly it will be out soon!!

Holly
Holly

Well Renee It’s clear to me now that I’m am a woman strongly living in my light feminine energy, but to the external world I have often projected neural in my interactions with others. This is mostly due my passive nature and tendency to people please. I know, horrible isn’t it! And that’s precisely the reason I’m choosing to do everything in my power to break the unhelpful behavior patterns that I carry in my mind. It’s ok though because I know deep down that everything is going to work out well eventually, but at the moment I’m in transition… Read more »

Kat
Kat

OMG! I gotta share this, cause it`s just too..ridiculous and funny lol ! Speaking of Women and Dark Side nowdays..and how crazy jealous women can be..and how hateful and scared can they get, coming in contact with a Feminine Woman. Get Ready: I was a member on this Forum, a place for Women coming out of Toxic Relationships..won`t give the name, but I should..it`s just too damn ridiculous LOL ! And..I had published some interesting materials and articles there..speaking for Survivors, I come from a pretty Toxic family myself..and thought it would be a good idea to join and talk… Read more »

Natalie
Natalie

I think we are all both light and dark. Problems occur when we or our partner reject one of those sides, usually the dark one. I encountered this with men who were brought up in Catholic culture (not necessarily being very religious but just growing up in that environment makes the same imprint in them). Their mind is split with the Virgin-Madonna vs Whore polarity. They desire the latter type but do not respect them saving respect and marriage proposal for the former. The sex itself seen as smth dirty, sinful and traps them in guilt; therefore they feel resentful… Read more »

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Reply to  Natalie

You said it well. I dated a Catholic guy for awhile when I was younger and this mentality of madonna/whore drove me nuts too. He just didn’t know what he wanted. One week he’d be pressuring me into fooling around with him, the next he’d be saying “that was wrong” and all that religious BS.. his confusion just making me more confused, and resentful of him. he was the one who always initiated the fooling around! Really just did not know what he wanted. I accused him of wanting a younger version of his mother! And then the pathetic trying… Read more »

Ash
Ash

this is interesting. i know many of these comments are old but i wanted to just say, i can relate to this well. im 24 now. i remember being 19 years old writing in my journal, which i still have, about being confused with this duality i always felt..i felt like both the vixen and the sweetness. i genuinely was confused in deciding “WHICH one am I”? and this made me realize i am both, in truth. i was always more the creative, darker kind of feminine though. i never realized that this vixen side wasnt me being rebellious against… Read more »

lola
lola

my interest is peaked. have always felt a dark mist within me. spent almost 40 yrs tryn 2 stuff it down, hold it n, keep it hidden. done wit dat now. its true if u stop running from ur dark side it will loose its power esp. if u let it go through u. but im feeling like ur expressing something different here. it feels like a distinction btween the dark side of humanity vs. dark side of femaleness/manliness iz being made. id like 2 become a more intriguing woman than i am currently. id like 2 express my power… Read more »

Melinda
Melinda

I love the tigress analogy! It captures something I don’t know how to describe. It also reminds me of one of the articles on Melina’s site, The Art of Being Feminine. I think it’s called The Man and the Tigress.

Gabriella11
Gabriella11

Hi! I can FULLY relate to this article. When I met my boyfriend, he always said that what he loved about me was my innocence and sweetness. After hearing this I tried so hard to always appear sweet, innocent with great morals etc. Well after a year or two, he got bored and his attention got diverted to other women. I believe he got bored because he could innately sense I wasn’t being completely authentic by always appearing perfect and holier-than-thou. SOOOO….. I began showing my true feelings and true power. In addition, I made my sexuality loud and clear.… Read more »

Jackie
Jackie

“Many of us reject something within ourselves or within others if it doesn’t fit a particular mold, or if it doesn’t suit who they have shown up to be over the years. What happens then is that you are locked in to one way of doing things. This ultimately leaves both men and women completely dissatisfied and unfulfilled.” Ummm Renee this is soo spot on!! I have felt this way in my own life for a long time and have debated these exact issues for a long time and always wondered if it was better to have an edge or… Read more »

Denise
Denise

Renee, I think a lot of us tend to associate “the Dark Side” like in the Star Wars movies… something to fight at all costs! But it seems, to me at least, that the dark side is merely a term for one half of the personal duality. It reminds me of the yin-yang symbol that represents light/ dark, or feminine/ masuline, in harmonious unity. And in Attraction Control, you mentioned all the different personas within ourselves- some were light and some were dark (the femme fatale that Clay mentioned). VolleyGirl & Livi- I wouldn’t worry about a “bad person” surfacing.… Read more »

clay

the dark side of femininity is, of course, sexuality. It has nothing to do with the Hollywood fantasy babe kick-boxing, word-wielding and gun-toting her way into masculine oblivion. Nor has the “dark side” to do with the assumption of masculine traits or qualities, or becoming a “bad person”. The hidden female is sexual – dangerous, provocative and liberated. The dark side of femininity is personified as the femme fatale.

VolleyGirl
VolleyGirl

Hi Renee ,
I have already read the article 3 times but I still have no idea to what exactly you mean with the “dark side of femininity”! Has it something to do with revealing your evil /bad side?

Livi

I’m a little worried about the idea of embracing the “dark” side of femininity but am looking forward to learning about it. I just worry that the “dark” side will stop me from being a good person.

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