5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Deprive Their Man of Sex

Article updated 2018

1) The only difference between a friendship and a relationship is intimacy. If you have a sexless marriage or a sexless relationship, what are you? companions? best friends? If a couple doesn’t have much sex, then this generally means they lack passion, and that they could be more in love. There’s no such thing as losing the feeling of being in love. You just lose the ‘state’ of being in love, and you lose polarity/passion with your spouse.  You can be in love and have passionate sex way in to your old age. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Yes, sex is not the only way to achieve intimacy, but it is one of the main and most important ways to achieve intimacy between a man and a woman. Not making sex a priority can cause your relationship to deteriorate. The passion dies out.

2) Women can go to their girlfriends, a counselor, a guy friend, a mother, father, relative, aunt, to connect and talk to people. Men don’t generally do this.

I’m not saying there aren’t men who DO call their guy friends up for a long chat about their feelings, problems and sex life, but this is not common.

Sex is one of the major and most important ways through which a man gets his needs of connection/love met. Men aren’t just asking for sex because it feels good (although that’s part of it too). (read my article about why men love blowjobs)

If a man loves his woman, he wants to have sex with her because he loves her and wants her to be open to him. This is one of the main ways in which a man expresses his love, and it is one of the major ways in which a woman can show and prove her love for her man (although by no means the ONLY way).

For a lot of men, his woman is the only place he can go to for connection and love. His woman is often the only source he has. Men have many challenges in the world – and it’s important that he has a woman who understands his needs. Of courseunderstanding a man’s needs is not about just giving him sex. Men have many other needs, too. But the issue of sex is one that many women struggle with.

And, the modern western world has been affected by the feminist movement which has given women the idea that they shouldn’t prioritize a man’s needs, and that includes not wanting to meet his sexual needs regularly. However, the man is still expected to meet her needs!

Your man’s needs are just as important as the needs of your children or the needs of your friends! At the end of it all – your man is the one you’re going to be left with. Children will grow up and leave. Friends will have their own lives. A sexless marriage or a sexless relationship can cause a man to become dejected and resentful, as with every rejection the negative association (with his wife or girlfriend) becomes stronger.

3) Let’s talk about masculine and feminine energy, which relates very, very closely to sex. The masculine energy is about releasing. The feminine energy is about filling up. I’ll say that again. The masculine energy wants to release and the feminine energy wants to fill up.Filling up is also very much about the emotional aspect of things.

The feminine energy has many ways to fill up – shopping, having sex, talking to girlfriends, connecting with pets, talking, listening, and much more. The masculine energy has many ways in which they can release, too – but men don’t generally think the way women do.

Click here to take our popular program Understanding Men.

4) It feeds a man’s needs for love from his woman. I know a lot of women will want to lash out at me for saying this – but if two people are in a relationship, and the woman denies her man of sex, puts the children/career/girlfriends/other family first, then over time, this starts to build up negative associations within the man in relation to the woman, and makes him feel less like a man, less loved, less accepted – and this can (NOT always!) lead to cheating. (read my article about can a man be monogamous?)

Sex with a woman whom he loves fulfills a very deep need for love and acceptance within a man. If you’re not attracted to him enough in order to want to have sex with him, over time, he may start to feel less of a man – more like you don’t accept him as a man and that you’re not attracted to him. This is a painful thing to feel.

This is also one reason why men cheat. A lot of their emotional needs are met through sex!!

In The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It licensed family counselor M. Gary Neuman studied hundreds of men who had cheated on their wives, in order to find out why they did.

His results show clearly that the main reason why men did cheat on their women was for emotional reasons. When asked what led to their cheating, the answers given by the men showed up as follows:

  • 48% – primarily emotional dissatisfaction
  • 32% – equal emotional and sexual dissatisfaction
  • 8% – primarily sexual dissatisfaction

This doesn’t mean women should be pressured in to having sex. Women and men (equally) need to work on creating passion, love and excitement with their spouse so that lack of sex will not be a problem, but rather – lack of free time, space or opportunity for it 😉 – a much healthier problem!!

5) I’ll be as frank as I can.

Never expect to just be loved and adored for who you are without having to put any effort and sweat in to anything. We are all enough – but you can never, ever – expect to have and keep the man of your dreams or to have a passionate lifelong, loving relationship where you’re worshipped and adored by your man for life if you do not give to him. It’s all about the standards you have for yourself.

And, it’s important to remember that women (and men) must give to their spouse in a way that their spouse can receive it! If you just give or express love to them in the way YOU think is best – but the other person doesn’t perceive love in this, then it’s very easy for that relationship to break down.

If you’re always thinking of yourself, and constantly quantifying what you get and give in your relationship (like that terrible, TERRIBLE sayingGive-and-take) you will never have and experience that amazing relationship that everyone dreams of and which everybody wants. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

That’s all for now. Do you have any thoughts on this subject? Feel free to share them below. And, if you did like the article, let me know. Also, let me know if you hated it too 🙂

AND – if you want to understand more about men and sex, read my article ‘Why Men Love Blow Jobs‘.

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P.S. Connect with me on social media.

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Angel Ang
Angel Ang

What about a man who has erectile dysfunction. When the women is turned down because nothing works. Not even medication because it’s a mind issue.. completely didn’t know what to do. He became less attractive to him because my needs were not met. We ended a 7 years relationship! Half of that 7 years was sexless. Was very sad because we did love each other but at this point I only felt close to him as a friend!!

B.nel
B.nel

I wonder what would happen if we guys took care of all the women’s needs in a marriage.. like find someone to help with the kids, provide her with a good physically healthy lifestyle, became her best friend.. basically filled all her needs i.e. emotional, physical, economical.. She would fall in love with you again and give it up. Unless you incapable of making her or any other woman fall in love with you everyday. Chicks are easy.. lol.

B.C
B.C
Reply to  B.nel

She may fall in love with you but sex is another thing. Sex should not be conditional in exchange for something. You do these things because you love someone but the other party does not have will to have sex, it will be all moot point.

j.p.
j.p.
Reply to  B.C

And getting her needs met shouldn’t be conditional on having sex. If you take care of each each you will both get what you need.

Lila
Lila

There are women with much higher sex drives than their husbands. This article was written by a very naive person.

Women aren’t all the same

B.C.
B.C.
Reply to  Lila

Lila – You are misunderstanding the whole article. This is about how men feel sex differently than women. The point of this article is how women underestimate and misunderstand men’s need for sex. Women’s core most need is feeling emotionally connected, appreciated and loved by a desirable man, their need is NOT sex. I have dated a couple of women with strong sex drive, sex is a side thing for them women do not need to have sex to feel validated like men that is the key difference. Women could have sex 3 times in a day but they feel… Read more »

Jeff
Jeff
Reply to  Lila

I wish i could meet a women with a high sex drive.

Karla
Karla

Well you can’t be with a man all the tie to make sure he doesn’t cheat. Some women have high sex drives equal to some men. would that justify them cheating because they had time for it? If he’s employed and has responsibilities why should he have time to cheat? My ex was always busy with work, helping others and commitments and responsibilities that he denied the possibility of it-how can he serve all these women in a day? Yet he cheated for years and is still busy but cheating on his present gf.

B.C.
B.C.
Reply to  Karla

Cheating is wrong regardless of the gender, unfortunately most of the time people seek a band aid or cheap fix for something that is fundamentally broken. They lack courage to end the dysfunctional relationship, especially when kids are involved, they stay in for the sake of kids. It is not right but sometimes action speaks louder than words, affair fixes or end the relationship in most cases if not all.

Bob
Bob

I read the article. A sexless marriage does not make men cheat. And to all the feminists who comment negatively – wake up. Men are NOT like you. We do need sex. If we don’t get it from a wife we will feel unloved and not worth much. We don’t choose to desire you. This is simply nature that makes us desire you. If you don’t want to be desired, don’t marry a guy and make him miserable. Lack of sex does not increase rape nor does our desire for the opposite sex. IF you want a happy spouse then… Read more »

alex
alex

First of all, I am a male, deeply committed to equality of sexes and acknowledge the challenges women have in this world still dominated by men in most countries of this world. At the same time, I feel, as a man in post modern western society, stigmatised when I say aloud that the man’s suffering is being ignored. Today’s men do not know who they are, what their journey is and are asked to ignore their needs in relationships. I am not talking about some macho cliché here but about balance of needs in a heterosexual relationship.

Lils
Lils
Reply to  alex

What needs would that be?

BCream
BCream
Reply to  Lils

Primarily sexual intimacy which translate to a lot more than just a physical release, sex is a deep emotional satisfaction, its a validation, appreciation, love, acceptance, trust and much more. If you are a woman it will be hard for you to relate but it is true. Men and women have a different design, women are primarily driven by strong emotions does not mean they dont need sex, likewise men are primarily driven by strong sexual urges does not mean they dont have emotions. Its a raw design of nature to create a natural dependency on each other. But sadly… Read more »

Jelly
Jelly

Where is this article are men given any responsibility to change their culture? It is okay to be vulnerable with friends and people outside of your relationship with your partner. Expecting your partner to be your entire emotional life is unfair on both you and them. Join the feminist movement and advocate for your rights as men to be full emotional sexual beings.

B.C.
B.C.
Reply to  Jelly

Jelly – Feminism is flawed at its core, which is why even many women are leaving the movement. Feminism lacks understanding of the basic biology and natural gender design. It is promoting a dysfunctional society. It is creating divide between men and women on the basis of their natural differences, and your comment clearly reflects that. As an example feminists shame women for being stayed home mothers, what happened to the woman’s choice whatever she wants to be ? Another example why feminism is a flawed is they make sexist remarks openly like mansplaining and mansspreading. This is how men… Read more »

B.C.
B.C.
Reply to  Jelly

Also what you are saying is men need to be like women, may I ask why women do not want to be like men, can they not stop constantly crying for every stupid thing in the world, constantly talk about their feelings, hardly ever want sex unless there are whole bunch of conditions are met ? See it can be played both ways. Dont even try to change our natural wiring, it will be wasteful of our time, instead trust and help each other and find ways to work with them.

Unknown
Unknown

Where to begin . I’m so worried that I would cheat on my girl cuz she is not sleeping with me. I get rejected all the time ( not today, I. Tired….) Im very sexually active person and I would fuck every day . Like for real I would if i ve been given the chance. I can’t have sex once a month or every 3 weeks. I’m going crazy and there is so much attraction out there in the street. I’m scared that I would go blind and be with somebody else just for sex and this will destroy… Read more »

Kiki
Kiki
Reply to  Unknown

Gsus Christ, look at the way you talk. Get your shit together.

yuyura
yuyura
Reply to  Unknown

She is just abusing you to have power and control over you. Just dump her and go look for a woman who’re on the same page as you.

Stephanie Render
Stephanie Render
Reply to  Unknown

WOOOOW! Thanks for sharing THIS! As a woman, I needed to understand what not giving a man sex does to him…and how important it is for him to have it in order to be “normal”. Women should learn to understand THIS aspect more. Thanks again for sharing.

Soyyo
Soyyo

This is a very bad joke. We are not here to provide sexual satisfaction or make the man happy. This article looks like it was written centuries ago. If your wife does not want sex, respect her. Is her body. And if what she offers to the relationship in other ways is not enough for you. You have the option to stay or leave that relationship, but do not stay and cheat. That it’s certainly not an option. Lies are not solution for anything. They only makes things worse.

Tony S
Tony S
Reply to  Soyyo

I agree. If your husband does not want to work his ass off to pay your bills – respect him, it’s his body. And his wallet.

Jan
Jan
Reply to  Tony S

You can’t use that as an argument Tony. The majority of women work their own asses off and pay their own bills – respect her, she don’t need your wallet.

HarryS
HarryS
Reply to  Jan

That’s right. Women now have Big Daddy Government to take care of them. Men are superfluous.

BCream
BCream
Reply to  Jan

Jan – I am not sure what majority of women you speak of, I can speak at least for my neighborhood of 20 and hardly 2 or 3 women work or want to work, majority of them want to run the house not deal with office politics, stress and commute. In my personal experience, women do not enjoy working in the offices. Feminism is pressuring all women to work when they would rather enjoy home and men are forced to be equal partner and still bear the burden of main bread earner, in most families. Sure they are exceptions but… Read more »

Jan
Jan
Reply to  BCream

Well, in my neighbourhood in the UK, there are very few women who don’t go out to work. I think you are in the USA where there are probably more women who don’t work outside the home. When you say that women working is not the norm, it certainly is in most communities in the western world. I think you are living in a bubble somewhere.

B.C.
B.C.
Reply to  Jan

Are they working full time ? Do they want to be the main bread earners so they can provide their man and the children ? Are they truly enjoying working full time and willing to work overtime ? OR is it because now feminism is telling them they must work or be ashamed? Hope you find true answers.

I know better
I know better
Reply to  Tony S

So you want your wife to prostitute herself to you ?

GetReal
GetReal
Reply to  Soyyo

Your flippant assertion that men should just stay in a sexless relationship, or leave is dismissive of reality. Divorce and custody courts are ridiculously rigged in favor of women, and I hear no feminist voices crying for equality in that arena. It often becomes a default windfall for the woman and a ruinous life reset for the man. Can a man say, “if you don’t like having sex twice a week, just leave;” in a world where he knows she’ll be coerced into capitulating to his demands, because she’ll likely be forced into becoming a minority shareholder in their children’s… Read more »

Jim
Jim
Reply to  GetReal

MIchele Weiner-Davis makes this point in her book “The Sex Starved Marriage.” The spouse who habitually declines sexual activity under the rubric of asserting control over his/her body cannot expect to demand unwavering fidelity from the spouse who is denied sexual activity.

BCream
BCream
Reply to  GetReal

Geat Real – Feminism is/was/will never be about equality, if it was for equality it would have been called equalism or gender neutralism. Feminism is a hypocrisy and misguiding women. As an example a ridiculous argument that lacks any logic or reality whatsoever is a bogus gender wage gap. If truly women were producing equal quality and productivity for less, men would have been out of work. No employer would hire men, we dont need an economist to tell us this basic commonsense. As an employer even without going into legal or moral, if person A and B producing the… Read more »

L.A. Dangerous
L.A. Dangerous
Reply to  Soyyo

What happens when you accept that premise that in fact it is her body and there is no sex and refusal to have sex as a form of behavior modification or punishment? And then that punishment lasts for weeks, then next time for months, and finally for years. If fidelity is to only have sex in a monogamous relationship and that is the expectation & infedility is going elsewhere? Isn’t it also infediity to categorically deny that which is only rightfully available in the relationship?

tonysam
tonysam

A woman’s body is not a thing for a man to use, understand? Sex is not a “need” for men. Men have no right to women’s bodies–ever. A woman who thinks it is her “duty” to “submit” to her husband or boyfriend lest he dies of blue balls is justifying rape and abuse. It is shocking a woman here thinks marital rape or rape in a relationship is okay.

Inquisitve Mention
Inquisitve Mention
Reply to  tonysam

But what if the couple is married and is into BDSM would that still be “wrong”

JohnPta
JohnPta
Reply to  tonysam

Sorry, but than the man and the woman should not be in a relationship. Because they simply don’t complete each others needs and for me, intimacy is one of them.

Bcream
Bcream
Reply to  tonysam

This is a great argument, its her body, can you then tell the women with the same force, its his money, he earned it using his body, he will choose when and how much he wants to share, fair ? Majority women who do not work or rather do not want to work, see how it plays for them. Sex is a need for most men, it is not a want, sex is more of an emotional need than the physical. If you do not want to make efforts to make your significant other emotionally satisfied then you simply do… Read more »

Ingrid Bailey
Ingrid Bailey

I hated this article, maybe because part of it is true. Mostly because while men must release and women must fill you make no mention of a man doing his part. Women want to be desired not just pounced on when the need arises.

tonysam
tonysam
Reply to  Ingrid Bailey

It isn’t true. This article justifies male entitlement through some bogus idea men “have” to have sex. Nobody dies from not having it. Women aren’t things for men to use. That is the bottom line. A woman doesn’t owe a man anything, including and especially sex. Too bad, but this is the reality of the world. The author of the post or article is truly appalling. It is the same old Biblical “submissive” crap apparently wrapped in New Age mumbo jumbo or something.

GetReal
GetReal
Reply to  tonysam

Don’t tell me what my needs are. “That’d be like me writing a book about the third trimester, and what to expect. Ladies, you’re gonna feel a pressure… How the hell would I know. You don’t want to hear that from me, you know. Then why is this woman trying to tell me what it’s like to have a dick! That makes no sense. You have no idea what it’s like to have a dick; 24/7 do it, do it, fuck it, do it. That’s what it’s saying. Do it, DO IT! YEAH, DO IT! That’s how we survived as… Read more »

Ray Sabourin
Ray Sabourin
Reply to  tonysam

I don’t disagree that a woman or a man, either sex has the right to say yes or no to sex or any other boundary. The issue is the covenant of marriage. If a woman or man prior to getting married informed the other that when you have a need for intimacy, closeness, to feel loved I might choose for a prolong amount of time to not be there for you. Even if you are there for me, meeting my needs, making an effort… I might decide to have a sexless marriage and you will also have to stay sexless… Read more »

JohnPta
JohnPta
Reply to  Ingrid Bailey

Ingrid, what you are saying is 100% true. too many men ignore the woman the whole day and when it is bed time she must be ready and willing. THAT IS UNFAIR EXPECTATIONS FROM THE MEN SIDE.
Intimacy starts must be ongoing in a relationship, cuddling, hugging and giving compliments and NOT only when it is bed time and when a woman is not ready for intimacy respect that. BUT when she is not ready and or willing for 90% of the time the two of you should not be together.

Ray Sabourin
Ray Sabourin
Reply to  JohnPta

But what is your opinion if he is loving, attentive, hard working, helps around the house, attractive to other women and just simply the woman cannot be bothered because she doesn’t have the need?

BCream
BCream
Reply to  Ingrid Bailey

It goes both ways, both man and a woman needs to make efforts in understanding each others needs and ensure both are emotionally happy, takes two to tango.

Sexually frustrating
Sexually frustrating

I’m a male. I’m frustrated because I’m always the one that is always starting and finishing. If I don’t start then we aren’t even doing anything. Example rough number. 80 times we have sex in a year. All 78 times I started and 2 times in a year she did. It just feels like we aren’t in a relationship and it’s just friendship. Feels like it’s a one way partnership and like it said I felt like I wasn’t getting enough and totally said everything how I felt and how important it is for a man to be feeling he… Read more »

Ernie Armijo
Ernie Armijo

Wow, I could have written the very same article. Sorry brother but I know exactly how you feel, you just described my relationship with my wife
Good luck!

Moses
Moses

Heard! I you’re not the only one. 8yr relationship with my best friend for 15+yrs. Same situation.

Juice Truth
Juice Truth

SOrry to tell you like this bro But that just means shes fuckin somebody else bro …..

JohnPta
JohnPta
Reply to  Juice Truth

Or she is with you for the wrong reasons. Like for financial reasons etc. and having indeed somebody on the sideline.

Unknown
Unknown

At least it’s 80 times a year . I have sex once a month which means 12 times a year lol . Don’t complaint brother. Ur fine

Jan
Jan

Not sure what you are complaining about. You are getting it 80 times a year!

Kiki
Kiki

Maybe you are not good at sex. You should read Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. That’s where this lady gets all her info anyway. Sex is not just body parts homey. Get it together.

B.nel
B.nel

Whats the point of desiring your wife 95% of the time and somehow it’s not enough cz she’s always tired and only gives it up out of pity? How is my passion game soo weak, when I know I’m incredibly desired by the next female.. and I know I can please her but I’m being respectful to my wife?.. We are incompatible.. and I’m justified for cheating.

paola cubimar
paola cubimar

You must be a very old and conservative person. This is the evidence that on the internet, one can find a lot of bullshit while trying to study psychological topics. This blog is just good to laugh about.

tonysam
tonysam
Reply to  paola cubimar

Judging from the picture on the blog, she is very young, which is even more appalling how much she has been brainwashed by her upbringing.

Bcream
Bcream
Reply to  tonysam

Same can be said about you, you have been brainwahed and misguided by the ultra feminist about the male sexuality. How about respecting her opinions, even if you disagree with them. I bet she will have a satisfying relationship, because she has understood the deepest emotional need of a man. She will have an array of men who would love her, provide, protect and fight for her. All the while you will deprive your men of their need, remain miserable and loveless, complain about equal pay for unequal productivity and efficiency, less working hours and demand life time entitlement for… Read more »

Kborsi
Kborsi
Reply to  tonysam

@tonysam …first word you used, “Judging”. Maybe you should stop judging based on observations of your own brainwashed perception of life. Sure, you have a personal perspective but it’s a finite perspective of infinite. The point of a relationship (from my personal perspective) is to have a mutually beneficial partnership and to fill each others needs that we cannot fill ourselves due to the impossibility of. To wrap up, it is lack of empathy to not care about your partners need. It’s selfish, narcissistic, and I feel sorry for your partner…or your future partner. Men likely found this article to… Read more »

Parson James
Parson James

Marriage is a dead horse. Fewer men are interested in getting on it, mercifully.

tonysam
tonysam
Reply to  Parson James

Actually fewer women are because there is nothing in it for them. Men are all upset because women really don’t need them anymore other than for sperm. Too bad, so sad, but that is the way it is.

Bcream
Bcream
Reply to  tonysam

You really sound very bitter towards men, I too have had very negative experience from the women I have been with. However I will not bailout on all women, love intimacy is so wonderful. I am optimistic, even after 3 failed relationships, I am hoping to meet an awesome woman with I can have a mutually satisfying relationship, if not I will keep looking till the end.

Mgtow and feminnism both are not the solutions, they further divide us men snd women and bad for the society.

Neo
Neo
Reply to  tonysam

You don’t get out much, do you tonysam? There are far more articles about women complaining that men won’t date them, that men refuse to marry them if they do date, and don’t keep them happy enough not to divorce a man who does marry them, than there are men like you. Time to learn how things really are.

GetReal
GetReal
Reply to  tonysam

Men are upset, because women absolutely need them; but women want to have their needs fulfilled with no responsibility for reciprocation. Look around. Better than 90% of what you see was built by men. While women are complaining about the debunked gender wage gap and why there aren’t enough female CEOs, men are earning good money doing the difficult, dirty, dangerous work of keeping society running. Instead of rewarding men with mutual affection, loyalty and respect for their endless toil and sacrifice, women have found a way to act as victims for any small sacrifice and bilk men out of… Read more »

Danny
Danny

Been married for almost 40 years n I can count on two hands how many times she has been intimate with me, I haven’t cheated I’ve been a good man I’ve been told by women that I’m handsome I don’t understand what is going on, I stay in shape for her hoping she would look at me but it never happened, now I’m 57 n very LONELY, I just want a friend at this point to enjoy intimacy with her, my wife doesn’t even want me to sleep n same bed with her, please I don’t know what to do,… Read more »

Kheda
Kheda
Reply to  Danny

So sorry for you. Talk to her. Seriously. Be very clear with her. If nothing changes, I say leave.

Heaven Myers
Heaven Myers
Reply to  Danny

My husband and I are the same way; only he’s the one that refuses. I’m not one to think of myself……………I’m not in love anymore

Ernie
Ernie
Reply to  Danny

I feel. for you, have had the same experience with my wife and I am your age so know the feeling

Moses
Moses
Reply to  Danny

Why do we do this to ourselves?!

Dave
Dave
Reply to  Danny

Sounds like mine, and exactly how I feel. I need that too and I’m 68. Balding older man, I won’t have to worry about attracting trouble………..life kind of stinks at this point………….way beyond depressed!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous
Reply to  Danny

hey Danny, I was in love with a married man I met at work (he’s married 10 yrs). I loved him very much. He told me the same thing you’re saying here (stayed in shape for wife & still she maybe had sex w/ him 3 or 4x / yr). He’s 42 & gorgeous! (to me). This guy flirted w/ me, stared at me when passing by my cube, just happened to touch me on my arm, hand (innocently). Then one day when I touched him (innocently) – he grabbed & hugged me, & there began us talking more, &… Read more »

Johnny
Johnny

Pretty powerful article. This made alot of sense and i myself took a lesson from this, but i feel like men get overlooked in the sex department, which this is right cause this is how i feel connectivity with my partner. Got blue balled the othet night an she says i just dont have a drive for it anymore. Im like really!!!! So what am i suppose to do, im not gonna be in a sexless relationship. Not only do i feel connected during an after, but it releases tons of stress an pressure from so many parts of my… Read more »

tonysam
tonysam
Reply to  Johnny

“Blue balled.” What a laugh. Use your hand, idiot, and not a woman’s body. Obviously the woman is repulsed by you and your entitled attitude. A woman doesn’t owe you sex. This blog post or article is disgusting justifying women being raped in a relationship or marriage because she “owes” a man sex.

Alicia
Alicia
Reply to  tonysam

Stop being a male hating feminazi. All your posts are filled with the same male hating BS and completely takes the context of this article and turns it into something else to justify your male bashing. just STFU

JohnPta
JohnPta
Reply to  tonysam

Listen tonysam, it looks to me you are a block of ice. All your reactions and comments are deprived of knowledge.
For me a men needs intimacy and kissing and hugging is part of that so masturbating is not the solution.
It helps you for 1 hour but after that you are longing for a hug or a intimate kiss.

john
john
Reply to  tonysam

I have to agree with tonysam, I’ve been married 52 years and I took charge of sex in our marriage with my hand because wife set limitations on how she wanted sex.There was no way I was going to follow those limits, I don’t owe her sex so my hand worked fine till it got wore out and I got erectile dysfunction. She wasn’t worth the effort! Still married but I don’t deal with her or any other woman, I do and go where ever I want and don’t have to drag extra baggage around.

HarryS
HarryS
Reply to  tonysam

A debt doesn’t imply “collecting” by force.

Meredith
Meredith
Reply to  Johnny

Regarding “So what am i suppose to do, im not gonna be in a sexless relationship,” I find it very sad, pitiful really that thinking about yourself and feeling justified at being outraged is your first response to your woman declining to have sex with you. Where is your priority to love, honor and cherish HER? Where is your deep interest and concern to learn HER feelings, to understand *why* (in detail) she feels her sex drive has disappeared? Where is your care, your compassion? But no, apparently your first instinct is to blame her. Well, here’s a shocker: she’s… Read more »

Bcream
Bcream
Reply to  Meredith

Meredith – All you said can be reversed exactly there are ton of women who fail to understand men, even after providing them, listening to them, being friend with them cherishing like you said, there are women who will be just about themselves. It takes two to tango, if you cannot feel each other even after explaining then that relationship is unhealthy. This is not just a man vs woman issue. But I would say as much men ignore women’s need there are equal women who do the exact same.

GetReal
GetReal
Reply to  Meredith

Another woman mandating that everything be done on women’s terms. We have a responsibility fix ourselves in order to meet our responsibilities to each other. Re-read the following, and you should see your folly: Regarding “So what am i suppose to do, im not gonna be in a financial wreck of a relationship,” I find it very sad, pitiful really that thinking about yourself and feeling justified at being outraged is your first response to your man declining to provide for you. Where is your priority to love, honor and cherish HIM? Where is your deep interest and concern to… Read more »

Lennie newman
Lennie newman

I just read To my wife I thought it was funny that as I’m reading it to her she’s playing a game on her cell phone she says she can do both at the same time thought when I’m trying to work on our marriage that has been deteriorating for a long time without sex when she understands that I’m ready to leave permanently a divorce she gives me sex No I don’t woman not a dildo Lost her to technology ???

idiotsabound
idiotsabound
Reply to  Lennie newman

My mother is lost the same way, man. I knew it as soon as my idiot brother bought her a tablet. Feeds herself Left-wing propaganda on her tablet, denies it. The thing is, if she used the same device to teach herself how her own brain works, then she’d learn that the subconscious can be programmed, and this propaganda cannot be read by people like her (little self-awareness) without it working on their subconscious mind. Even aware, mindful people are at risk! Try to educate and help your fellow human, including your own family and watch the technology take over,… Read more »

Johnny Whalen
Johnny Whalen
Reply to  Lennie newman

Technology is beating us out the game. Abolish dildos..

Moses
Moses
Reply to  Lennie newman

I’m reading this sitting next to my fiancee who is staring at her phone. As usual.

PETER C
PETER C

HEY, im here to share my story and ask for help to understand this situation better and maybe get some sort of advice as i feel like that everything i do or say makes her hate me. shes pregnant for 5 months now. as a man i feel a great need for sex and she doesnt feel any at all. i read about it alot and there are many woman that has no sex drive so you can guess this year was a disaster for me as a men. i find her very attractive but every time we touch this… Read more »

f--ktheworld
f--ktheworld
Reply to  PETER C

and she will rape you of your money in child support. Welcome to the trap of the narcissist female. Who cares if she doesn’t feel she looks good. She should FEEL good and not be a mentally-ill fool who relies upon looks and looks alone for that! At least someone wanted to make her pregnant. Also WTF is with her smoking when pregnant, man?! Or is it when YOU go for a smoke? So you’re going to pay for her broken baby who is damaged from her smoking? Autistic, maybe? Speaking from experience with my family, Autistic readers – don’t… Read more »

Angela
Angela
Reply to  PETER C

Hey, this is coming from a woman who spent the first twelve years of marriage with almost zero sex drive, here’s a few suggestions: A.) Your woman may honestly not understand how important sex is to you. Even when guys explain it, it’s very very hard for a woman who doesn’t need it all and who lives in a world where sex is a sooo often abused and used in selfish ways that hurt the woman, to understand that it’s a beautiful, connection-creating, selfless thing for you. Trust me, it was REALLY hard to wrap my head around. To me,… Read more »

Stacey
Stacey
Reply to  PETER C

Hey there, please listen well. I would consider myself a high libido woman. At least once every 1-2 days. If I could, almost everyday. Then, along cake pregnancy. I vomited almost ever 30 minutes. Harder to breath, heavy stomach, nausea, and I looked so UGLY! I vomited so much and felt so horrible that I could have gone days without washing up. (Disgusting, I know). Due to pregnancy, The hormones in my body was so f**king crazy too. I felt surges of depression and anger most of the time. My husband worked full time, plus a pet time job. Logically… Read more »

HarryS
HarryS
Reply to  Stacey

The Bible says that a woman is to wait for 40 days following the birth of a male baby, 80 days following the birth of a female. Plus seven days following the cessation of any bleeding. In modern times the reason for the difference in wait times is due to the different hormones from a boy’s placenta and a girl’s. Continuing bleeding can be from a small uterine hemorrhage (leaking blood) or from a year that hasn’t healed. There can be other physiological reasons for delaying resumption of sexual relations, things that people 3,500 years ago had no way of… Read more »

Meredith
Meredith
Reply to  PETER C

“i don’t know how to make any connection with her.” Well, learn! Read “The 5 love languages”. Realize that you are supposed to be actively caring for a five months pregnant woman, not the other way around. Communicate with her, ask her for the top three things you could do or stop doing for her to be more satisfied, how you could be a better husband (or partner), and do them eagerly, without thought of any possible ‘payoff’ to you. Instead of concentrating on a desire for intercourse, first spend time massaging her feet, back and other places that hurt… Read more »

Stephanie
Stephanie

I don’t actually understand why women do that. I mean I am a woman, but I also want to have sex, and yeah, we “discharge energy” by friend and sh*t, but is not like talking to your friend and Be with your pet would make don’t want to have sex.

Frank
Frank
Reply to  Stephanie

What are you doing Wednesday;-)

Male - Fuwo
Male - Fuwo

One thing that is often very poorly described in written form is the nature and importance of a man’s sexual instinct (sex drive). It is often described as being “not the most important thing in a marriage”. I even seem to recall reading someone on this forum somewhere describing this way. However, describing it thus is really over simplistic to the point of being unrealistic. Although risky and difficult, I would like to try and describe in words what it is like to a married man to be deprived of sex. By this I mean having to get into bed… Read more »

Marcus
Marcus
Reply to  Male - Fuwo

Well said. I am in a marriage that had a strong sexual component for ~18 years, but which has tapered off to a slow drip, and I’m off to see a lawyer.

Meredith
Meredith
Reply to  Male - Fuwo

I understand this. Please also understand that the vast majority of women need to feel an authentic emotional connection *before* they have a desire to engage in sexual activity. I realize this isn’t true for men, who largely seem to feel connection as a result of feeling accepted through of sex. But both are important, not just one side. I’ve read men desire to feel accepted and appreciated, while women want to feel cherished and adored. If your woman doesn’t desire sex, ask her if she feels cherished and adored; if not, ask her how specifically you could modify your… Read more »

HarryS
HarryS
Reply to  Male - Fuwo

What is your suggestion if a wife has a genuine physiological reason that sexual relations are actually dangerous for her? Cancer of her female parts? Accident injury? Or how about vaginismus? It’s not always an emotionally caused disorder.
Similar things can happen to men.

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