If you’ve been with a man for months or even years, you’ve likely noticed that he needs sex. A lot. Or at least regularly.
But what happens when you as a woman are unable to offer it? Perhaps you’re an exhausted new mother, or an overworked and under appreciated woman.
It’s also possible that you just don’t feel like it for physical or psychological reasons. No woman can have sex with a man every single day, for the rest of her life.
How much pressure would that be on the woman’s shoulders?
So at this point, you may wonder: what happens when a man is sexually deprived? Do men need sex and if they do, why? Why so often, as well?
There’s no easy way to strike a balance when your man needs sex a lot, and you as a woman are already under so much stress that his needs for sex become one extra thing on the pile of things to do.
However, even if you cannot offer your man the physical act of sex, it’s vital that you give your man the gift of your feminine sexual energy.
But what’s that?
What Is Feminine Sexual Energy?
It’s your energy of openness, acceptance and love without having to have physical sex.
You can be dark feminine, sexually playful, and even just give him oral sex.
No marriage can survive without sex or the exchange of sexual energy in the long-term.
(Unless two people have been together for long enough, and have given enough value to each other that this can be possible due to unconditional love that has developed between them.)
So if you’re a woman in a relationship with a man, here are two things that are vital for you to remember:
- It’s essential to not deprive your man of sexual activity; but
- If you cannot engage in sexual activity, then there is one thing that is deeper than sex that you can offer: your feminine sexual energy.
I know just as well as any other married woman and a mother to children that it is not always easy to keep having regular sex with a man after having a family.
Especially if you and your husband are the only ones responsible for the children, and especially if you are also a breastfeeding/nursing mother!
But as a minimum, you should aim to not deprive him of your open, feminine sexual energy.
Here are 5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Deprive Their Man Of Sex.
By the way, would you like to find out exactly how naturally feminine you are? You can do that with our quick and easy quiz: QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!
#1: The only difference between a friendship and a relationship is intimacy
You can still establish intimacy with sexual tension and emotional attraction, so sex is just the cherry on top.
But without sexual energy in a relationship, what are you?
If a couple doesn’t have much sex or share much sexual energy and tension, then this generally means they lack passion, and that they could be more in love.
There’s no such thing as losing the feeling of being in love.
You just lose the ‘state’ of being in love, and you lose polarity/passion with your spouse.
You can be in love and have passionate sex way in to your old age.
Yes, sex is not the only way to achieve intimacy, but it is one of the main and most important ways to achieve intimacy between a man and a woman.
Not making sex or the exchange of dark and light sexual energy a priority can cause your relationship to deteriorate. The passion simply dies out.
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#2: Women Have Multiple Ways To Meet Their Connection Needs
Women can go to their girlfriends, a counselor, a guy friend, a mother, father, relative, aunt, to connect and talk to people. Men don’t generally do this.
I’m not saying there aren’t men who DO call their guy friends up for a long chat about their feelings, problems and sex life.
But in comparison to women, men do not spend as much time or energy on this.
Sex is one of the major and most important ways through which a man gets his needs of connection/love met.
Of course, emotional connection is important too. Not only does emotional connection make sex better, without it there is nor real relationship.
Without emotional connection, the relationship is vulnerable to every single challenge that shows up outside of it.
Men aren’t just asking for sex because it feels good (although that’s part of it too). (Related: read my article about why men love blowjobs.)
If a man loves his woman, he wants to have sex with her because he loves her and wants her to be open to him.
This is one of the main ways in which a man expresses his love, and it is one of the major ways in which a woman can show and prove her love for her man (although by no means the ONLY way).
For a lot of men, his woman is the only place he can go to for connection and love.
His woman is often the only source he has.
Men have many challenges and responsibilities in the world, and it’s important that he has a woman who understands his needs.
Of course, understanding a man’s needs is not about just giving him sex.
Men have many other needs, too. But the issue of sex is one that many women struggle with.
The modern western world has been affected by the war of the sexes which has given women the idea that they shouldn’t prioritize a man’s needs.
And that includes not wanting to meet his sexual needs regularly. However, the man is still expected to meet her needs!
Your man’s needs are just as important as the needs of your children or the needs of your friends!
Friends will have their own lives as well.
A sexless marriage or a relationship without sexual energy can cause a man to become dejected and resentful, and wonder whether his wife even loves him or not.
And with every rejection, the negative association (with his wife or girlfriend) becomes stronger.
Without this sexual energy inside of a relationship, it causes the man and the woman to feel less alive.
#3: The masculine energy is about releasing & Being FREE
Let’s talk about masculine and feminine energy, which relates very closely to sex.
The feminine energy is highly focused on releasing, while the masculine energy is focused on releasing and getting to a state of physical and emotional emptiness.
I’ll say that again.
The masculine energy wants to release and the feminine energy wants to fill up.
Filling up is also very much about the emotional aspect of things.
The feminine energy has many ways to fill up, such as:
- Having sex
- Talking to girlfriends
- Connecting with pets
- Listening, and much more
But when it comes to the masculine energy’s need to “release” and experience emptiness, often it is the experience of sexual ecstasy or of being desired by the woman of their choice that allows them this feeling of freedom.
So what can you do as a woman if you cannot offer sex? What happens when a man is sexually deprived?
Can you still offer him the gift of release or freedom? Can you still make him feel like a man?
Absolutely you can! But what can you do specifically?
Well, you can play with sexual energy by being in your dark and light feminine, so that you can inspire him to experience both of these energies within himself too. CLICK Here to learn more about what dark feminine energy is.
Often, men aren’t allowed to experience their dark masculine because it’s taboo especially in a world that seems increasingly against masculinity.
When you allow a man to show his mark masculine, then at least he gets to experience connecting with you on that level. At least he can experience the more carnal aspects of himself that may be easily rejected by others.
So: offer him your desire, your openness to him (ie: let him know he’s accepted, loved and desired), offer him your affection.
And ultimately, don’t make any part of him wrong. You don’t have to feel pressured to have the physical act of sex with him, but at least don’t object to the build up of desire or to increasing the polarity between you both.
And to gain a world class understanding of what your man is thinking and what he truly desires and value, Click here to take our popular program Understanding Men. (The promise of this course is for you discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.)
#4: It feeds a man’s needs for love from his woman
I know a lot of women will want to lash out at me for saying this.
But if two people are in a relationship, and the woman denies her man of sex or puts her career or friends first, then over time, this starts to build up negative associations within the man in relation to the woman.
If a woman denies her man of sexual energy, this makes him feel less like a man, less loved, less accepted – and this can (NOT always!) lead to cheating. (Read my article about can a man be monogamous?)
Sex with a woman whom he loves fulfills a very deep need for love and acceptance within a man.
If you’re not attracted to him enough in order to want to have sex with him, over time, he may start to feel less of a man.
He may feel more like you don’t accept him as a man and that you’re not attracted to him.
This is a painful thing to feel.
In The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, licensed family counselor M. Gary Neuman studied hundreds of men who had cheated on their wives, in order to find out why they did.
His results show clearly that the main reason why men did cheat on their women was for emotional reasons.
When asked what led to their cheating, the answers given by the men showed up as follows:
- 48% – primarily emotional dissatisfaction
- 32% – equal emotional and sexual dissatisfaction
- 8% – primarily sexual dissatisfaction
This doesn’t mean women should be pressured in to having sex. Many men do pressure their wife or girlfriend far too much.
A woman should NOT have to have sex with her husband every day. However, it’s nice for her to recognise his needs and try to show him that she cares about his needs.
She can also connect with his sexual energy by:
- Bantering with him
- Flirting with him
- Complimenting his strength, looks or superiority; and
- Even a simple blowjob can keep a man happy! It doesn’t always have to be sex
Of course, women and men (equally) need to work on creating passion, love and excitement with their spouse so that lack of sex will not be a problem.
I hope that as a woman, you do not walk away thinking that all the responsibility for the passion, polarity, sexual attraction and connection in the relationship is upon your shoulders.
It should never be like that, unless you’ve personally been neglecting him for a long time and you know in your gut that he has tried, but you haven’t reciprocated his efforts enough, therefore it’s actually been overly one-sided.
Otherwise, you should both work on it.
But here’s what’s interesting:
No relationship gains more passion within it when one or both of you keeps claiming that the other person should do the work.
In fact, the best relationships involve one or both people being willing to lead with their courage and vulnerability first.
In the case of not depriving your man of sex and sexual energy, this could look like:
- You offering your playfulness first
- You offering your understanding of him and lis life and feelings first, or
- You leading with your feminine love energy and openness first (CLICK here to learn 4 simple ways to become more feminine & 18 ways of a feminine woman).
#5: Without Your Love and Care, Your Relationship Can Die
We are all born worthy and I would never doubt for a second that you are enough.
But you can never expect to have and keep the man of your dreams if you do not offer him value or give to him on some level.
There are many ways in which your can offer great value to a man. But most of all, it’s comes down to the standards you have for yourself rather than any standards you may have for him.
Most (single) women have far more rules for how a guy should treat them than they do for themselves and what they should offer a man. This is called entitlement.
But most women in long lasting, loving relationships would know the real secret:
That for a relationship to not only survive but thrive, you have to demand from yourself that you give value to a man too.
You can’t sit back and keep demanding things from a guy.
And, it’s important to remember that women (and men) must give to their spouse in a way that their spouse can receive it!
If you just give or express love to them in the way YOU think is best, but the other person doesn’t perceive love in this, then it’s very easy for that relationship to break down.
If you’re always thinking of yourself, and constantly quantifying what you get and give in your relationship, you will never have and experience that amazing relationship that everyone dreams of and which everybody wants.
So here’s the bottom line:
You must at least try to offer your man your sexual energy, your loving and open feminine energy.
Even when you cannot have sex.
And by the way, if a man is in love with you, he will value your openness, your trust, your acceptance and your sexual energy JUST as much as he values the physical act of sex from you.
If a guy is always just pressuring you for the physical act of sex without at least trying to understand you and what you have to go through, that’s a red flag.
Otherwise, in order to maintain the deep passion and love you have with a man, you should always try to offer him the minimum of value that you can.
You might not be able to give him intercourse, but you can offer your love and energy. These things will offer your man great value simply because:
- They let him know that you still belong to him completely (because when a woman doesn’t have sex with her man and closes off to him physically and emotionally, men can become afraid that she will take her body and sexual resources elsewhere)
- You still care
- That you do love him very much
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
That’s all for now. Do you have any thoughts on this subject?
Feel free to share them below. And, if you did like the article, let me know. Also, let me know if you hated it too 🙂
AND – if you want to understand more about men and sex, read my article ‘Why Men Love Blow Jobs‘.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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