Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings?
If there was one question every woman should ask in her lifetime, it is this question.
Ideally, she would ask it before she slept with any man. Regrettably, a lot of women never ask this question early enough.
Instead a lot of women end up having to learn the hard way, because instead of asking the question and seeking intelligent answers, we take for granted the advice of well meaning friends and average folk.
And what most average folk say is something along the lines of:
“It’s your body. So have sex with a man if you want to. If men can do it, women can too. To hell with the double standard!”
I don’t agree with that typical advice. I think it gets women into lots of unnecessary trouble.
So let me answer this question “can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings” for you – because when you have the answer, it will make all the difference in your love life.
Table of Contents
Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
Of course they can.
So think of it like this…
When you go to the toilet and do your business, do you develop feelings for the toilet?
Probably not.
I mean if you do, that’s cool. But if indeed you do I’d take a wild guess and say that you’re one of the exceptions.
Men can definitely sleep with a woman without developing feelings.
In fact, that’s what they do every single day. Consider it their default state.
Not a very inspiring answer is it?
Well, hold on a minute, because there’s more to this.
Men can develop feelings for a woman – but these feelings are entirely separate from sex itself.
Sex won’t make him feel for you.
In fact, the more you try to use sex to make him bond with you, the more you damage yourself (unless he’s already in love with you of course).
MORE: 24 Signs He Feels Nothing For You.
Think of it like this:
If you were a man (yes, really)….
If you were a man and you had a penis and testicles that produced 320 million sperm a day, what would you want?
You’d want somewhere to put those plentiful, cheap, sometimes tailless and often aimless sperm.
To assume that a man could bond with you and value you more through the act of sex is misguided. In fact, the more you offer your physical body in fear of losing him or due to wanting to make him fall in love, the more low value you will seem to ALL men.
On that note, did you know that there Are 7 Common Signs that a woman is perceived as low value to all men?
Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
WHY A Man Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
The reason why men can sleep with you without developing feelings has to do with sperm production.
Specifically, the amount and regularity in which sperm is produced.
Here’s the thing:
Each man produces so much sperm that if they don’t actively “release” some sperm every 12-48 hours, it starts to get really uncomfortable for them.
Yes, I’m a woman but yes I’m also speaking for men (I take my work seriously and I haven’t been doing this work for over 13 years just for giggles).
If you doubt me, you could try asking any young man (below age 45) in your life how he feels after 4 days of not releasing his sperm.
So men need to release their sperm. In order to accomplish that, they just need a ‘place’ to release it.
It could be anywhere – as long as it’s a willing ‘place’ ie: a woman, or somewhere else more neutral.
If you as a woman offer that ‘place’ without (or before) ever building up any real emotional connection or emotional attraction, then you just become another place he released his sperm.
Yes, even if you had chemistry. If you had chemistry and attraction, it just means that perhaps the release was more exciting for him.
Remember this:
He’s a man.
He does not have a womb.
He doesn’t and will never go through the incredibly vulnerable stage of being pregnant and rearing young.
Thus he doesn’t come wired with the instinct to create emotional bonds through sex.
I mean, it won’t even cross his mind, unless and until he really starts to care about you.
Let’s say he did start to care about you and formed an attachment to you. In this case, even if he wanted to create an emotional bond with you through sex, often he’ll do it just for you, not for himself.
This means that love and sex are not connected in his mind.
It takes a certain type of emotional connection and emotional attraction to a woman to make a man connect love and sex with you.
Do the quiz: how commitment friendly is my man?
But Some Men INSIST That They Can Develop Feelings For A Woman Through Sex?
About those men who insist that they can in fact develop feelings and become attached to a woman through sex?
Well, first of all, men aren’t always very good at articulating how their own bodies work.
Plus, mens bodies work (produce sperm) no matter what they choose to do with their life.
They can become vegan, go to the amazon forest, meditate and avoid sex as much as they want, but their bodies will still produce sperm, because that’s what they’re made for.
So, no, men don’t catch feelings through sex with a woman, or through hooking up with a woman.
The only situation in which they can is when there is emotional attraction and emotional connection – the two most important ingredients in any passionate, committed long term relationship.
How Many times can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings?
Infinity.
That’s right, infinity.
This means that by having sex with a man, even if you do it for years on end – you can never and will never make him feel emotionally attached to you.
Because in his mind, sex and love exist in different departments.
D.Shen (my hubby) explained this well:
“One of the biggest and most important insights you need to understand is that for a man, love and sex are two different and separate processes.
If you were to examine a feminine woman’s brain through an MRI scan, you’d see that the parts of her brain that light up for sex is quite similar to the parts of her brain that lights up for love.
There’s a big overlap.
Whereas for most masculine men, the overlap is very small.
In other words, the part of his brain that lights up when thinking about sex is very different to the parts of his brain thinking about love.
What does that mean for you? It means that men by default, separate love and sex.
Don’t ever assume that by having sex with a man, he will love you more.
And don’t assume that if he loved you, he would have sex with you. These are two very different pathways for a man.”
Wow.
What a revelation for most feminine women who simply cannot understand how it’s even humanly possible to sleep with someone repeatedly, and never – ever – develop feelings for them.
Your feminine biology makes you value attachment by default. Men do not share your default state at all. Their default is to choose no strings attached sex.
Meaning, you’re far more likely than men are to at least want some money, attention, connection and company from the man you sleep with.
You want his investment and you want something from him. Also, the more you sleep with him, the more attached you become.
Not because I’m trying to limit you as a woman, but because you are biologically built to carry a child within your very own body.
This makes sex more risky for you, and it makes you more vulnerable than men would be, should a pregnancy occur.
Simply put, you need investment and attachment to increase the chances of your own survival and your child’s survival whereas men do not at all.
There’s nothing wrong with this. You should own your natural inclination if anything, and learn to work with this feminine bias of yours.
This is what we call your ‘feminine bias for early attachment’, and this bias is actually necessary and useful if you want to make men fall in love with you.
Rather than seeing it as needy and repulsive, it’s important to embrace it as the very thing that will allow you to be vulnerable enough as a feminine woman to inspire a man to feel what you feel and therefore attach to you and fall in love with all your most feminine traits.
If you’d like to learn how to use your feminine bias for early attachment to make men fall in love with you, watch this video my husband and I made for you.
You’ll learn how to use your innate feminine bias for early attachment to create deeper attraction with men and inspire a deeper commitment from him without you looking needy and low value.
By the way, would you like to discover how naturally feminine you are? You can do just that with our quick and easy quiz. I’ve embedded it below:
Do our feminine energy quiz: how feminine am i really?
What Should You Do With This Information?
There’s no quick and easy way to deal with this information.
Just accept that this is how it is, and don’t let modern politically correct culture try to sway you from the truth.
Ultimately, if you demand that the truth go away, it makes you weaker and less empowered as a woman.
So choose to accept it, and work with it.
This is the best way to empower yourself (rather than kick up a fuss and demand that everyone stop having double standards).
Do You Understand What’s Going On In His Mind?
So here’s what I suggest to you: give yourself the gift of understanding the masculine perspective.
Start there.
Just like if you were to start a new business – say, a new activewear line, a lingerie company or a new cake baking business, you would work out what the customer perceives value in.
You wouldn’t be stupid enough to get angry at them for purchasing from your competition (and not seeing the true value of your product), because your business would go under in the blink of an eye.
Don’t be upset that men are men.
Instead, learn about them so that you can be educated and be cherished and valued by all high value men everywhere.
Once you understand the masculine perspective, you no longer have to fall for the nonsensical advice perpetuated by pop culture.
So, make it a point to understand men deeply. I know that this seems sooo preposterous in an age where everyone encourages women to feel entitled.
There are so many people out there who are encouraging women to act like queens, have standards for men and demand that men work hard for you.
But none of that has any real value for you other than to make you short-sighted and entitled. If you want men to work hard for you, then the intelligent thing to do that would serve you in the long term would be to also lead with your own understanding (of men and their experience in life).
There’s nothing wrong with humbleness and a genuine desire to understand the species you wish to spend the rest of your life with (or at least want to take value from).
And let me share a little insight with you that I’ve gained through my 12 years of doing this work:
The women who invest in their understanding of men, are the ones who go on to have an easier time with men.
They experience less toxicity and they find being cherished and valued by men to be as easy as tying their shoelaces.
So would you like to discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man and connect with him heart to heart?
Then here’s what I’d like to invite you to do:
CLICK here to join us is our most popular program, “Understanding Men”.
(The promise of this course is for you to discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.)
CLICK here to get your own masters degree in understanding men.
I know It’s Hard to Understand Men First…
I know it’s always hard to reach out to understand someone else – especially the male species.
I mean, they’re so different to you.
But always remember that reaching out to understand someone else benefits you the most, and only them secondarily.
The women who have taken this course understanding men know that it benefits them more than it benefits the man. And I’ve heard so many women say:
“I wish I’d had this course 30 years ago!! It would have saved me so many problems!”
Now for some FAQs…
Frequently Asked Questions
Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?
If it’s just a hookup, absolutely not.
But there is a circumstance in which they will catch feelings, and that is if you create emotional attraction and emotional connection with the guy.
Once he begins to feel these things, he will catch feelings for you. Genuine feelings, not just infatuation.
How Do You Know A Guy Is Emotionally Attached?
- He exhibits many of the signs of being madly in love with you
- And none of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
- He feels your feelings
- He is always there for you, and especially before you even think to ask for his help
- He defends you and your reputation
- He is always on your side
Recommended reading: 8 Ultimate Signs A Man Is Emotionally Attached to You.
How Many Times Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
Infinity.
Finally, please share your thoughts with me on this topic below. Do you have any questions for me?
P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman
P.S. CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. She graduated with a bachelor of Law and bachelor of Arts majoring in sociology and psychology. She has been a dating and relationship coach for women in the past 15 years and together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 20 million women through their articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.
