Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings?
If there was one question every woman should ask in her lifetime, it is this question.
Ideally, she would ask it before she slept with any man. Regrettably, a lot of women never ask this question early enough.
Instead a lot of women end up having to learn the hard way, because instead of asking the question and seeking intelligent answers, we take for granted the advice of well meaning friends and average folk.
And what most average folk say is something along the lines of:
“It’s your body. So have sex with a man if you want to. If men can do it, women can too. To hell with the double standard!”
I don’t agree with that typical advice. I think it gets women into lots of unnecessary trouble.
So let me answer this question “can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings” for you – because when you have the answer, it will make all the difference in your love life.
Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
Of course they can.
So think of it like this…
When you go to the toilet and do your business, do you develop feelings for the toilet?
I mean if you do, that’s cool. But if indeed you do I’d take a wild guess and say that you’re one of the exceptions.
Men can definitely sleep with a woman without developing feelings.
In fact, that’s what they do every single day. Consider it their default state.
Not a very inspiring answer is it?
Well, hold on a minute, because there’s more to this.
Men can develop feelings for a woman – but these feelings are entirely separate from sex itself.
Sex won’t make him feel for you.
In fact, the more you try to use sex to make him bond with you, the more you damage yourself (unless he’s already in love with you of course).
Think of it like this:
If you were a man (yes, really)….
If you were a man and you had a penis and testicles that produced 320 million sperm a day, what would you want?
You’d want somewhere to put those plentiful, cheap, sometimes tailless and often aimless sperm.
WHY A Man Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
The reason why men can sleep with you without developing feelings has to do with sperm production.
Specifically, the amount and regularity in which sperm is produced.
Here’s the thing:
Each man produces so much sperm that if they don’t actively “release” some sperm every 12-48 hours, it starts to get really uncomfortable for them.
Yes, I’m a woman but yes I’m also speaking for men (I take my work seriously and I haven’t been doing this work for over 12 years just for giggles).
If you doubt me, you could try asking any young man (below age 45) in your life how he feels after 4 days of not releasing his sperm.
So men need to release their sperm. In order to accomplish that, they just need a ‘place’ to release it.
It could be anywhere – as long as it’s a willing ‘place’ ie: a woman, or somewhere else more neutral.
Yes, even if you had chemistry. If you had chemistry and attraction, it just means that perhaps the release was more exciting for him.
He’s a man.
He does not have a womb.
He doesn’t and will never go through the incredibly vulnerable stage of being pregnant and rearing young.
Thus he doesn’t come wired with the instinct to create emotional bonds through sex.
I mean it won’t even cross his mind, unless and until he really starts to care about you.
Even if he wanted to create an emotional bond with you through sex, often he’ll do it just for you, not for himself.
This means that love and sex are not connected in his mind.
It takes a certain type of emotional connection and emotional attraction to a woman to make a man connect love and sex with you.
But Some Men INSIST That They Can Develop Feelings For A Woman Through Sex?
About those men who insist that they can in fact develop feelings and become attached to a woman through sex?
Well, first of all, men aren’t always very good at articulating how their own bodies work.
Plus, mens bodies work (produce sperm) no matter what they choose to do with their life.
They can become vegan, go to the amazon forest, meditate and avoid sex as much as they want, but their bodies will still produce sperm, because that’s what they’re made for.
So, no, men don’t catch feelings through sex with a woman, or through hooking up with a woman.
The only situation in which they can is when there is emotional attraction and emotional connection – the two most important ingredients in any passionate, committed long term relationship.
How Many times can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings?
That’s right, infinity.
This means that by having sex with a man, even if you do it for years on end – you can never and will never make him feel emotionally attached to you.
Because in his mind, sex and love exist in different departments.
“One of the biggest and most important insights you need to understand is that for a man, love and sex are two different and separate processes.
If you were to examine a feminine woman’s brain through an MRI scan, you’d see that the parts of her brain that light up for sex is quite similar to the parts of her brain that lights up for love.
There’s a big overlap.
Whereas for most masculine men, the overlap is very small.
In other words, the part of his brain that lights up when thinking about sex is very different to the parts of his brain thinking about love.
What does that mean for you? It means that men by default, separate love and sex.
Don’t ever assume that by having sex with a man, he will love you more.
And don’t assume that if he loved you, he would have sex with you. These are two very different pathways for a man.”
What a revelation for most feminine women who simply cannot understand how it’s even humanly possible to sleep with someone repeatedly, and never – ever – develop feelings for them.
What Should You Do With This Information?
There’s no quick and easy way to deal with this information.
Just accept that this is how it is, and don’t let modern politically correct culture try to sway you from the truth.
Ultimately, if you demand that the truth go away, it makes you weaker and less empowered as a woman.
So choose to accept it, and work with it.
This is the best way to empower yourself (rather than kick up a fuss and demand that everyone stop having double standards).
Do You Understand What’s Going On In His Mind?
So here’s what I suggest to you: give yourself the gift of understanding the masculine perspective.
Just like if you were to start a new business – say, a new activewear line, a lingerie company or a new cake baking business, you would work out what the customer perceives value in.
You wouldn’t be stupid enough to get angry at them for purchasing from your competition (and not seeing the true value of your product), because your business would go under in the blink of an eye.
Don’t be upset that men are men.
Instead, learn about them so that you can be educated and be cherished and valued by all high value men everywhere.
Once you understand the masculine perspective, you no longer have to fall for the nonsensical advice perpetuated by pop culture.
So, make it a point to understand men deeply.
And let me share a little insight with you that I’ve gained through my 12 years of doing this work:
The women who invest in their understanding of men, are the ones who go on to have an easier time with men.
They experience less toxicity and they find being cherished and valued by men to be as easy as tying their shoelaces.
So would you like to discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment?
Then here’s what I’d like to invite you to do:
(The promise of this course is for you to discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.)
CLICK here to get your own masters degree in understanding men.
I know It’s Hard to Understand Men First…
I know it’s always hard to reach out to understand someone else – especially the male species.
I mean, they’re so different to you.
But always remember that reaching out to understand someone else benefits you the most, and only them secondarily.
The women who have taken this course understanding men know that it benefits them more than it benefits the man. And I’ve heard so many women say:
“I wish I’d had this course 30 years ago!! It would have saved me so many problems!”
Now for some FAQs…
Frequently Asked Questions
Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?
If it’s just a hookup, absolutely not.
But there is a circumstance in which they will catch feelings, and that is if you create emotional attraction and emotional connection with the guy.
Once he begins to feel these things, he will catch feelings for you. Genuine feelings, not just infatuation.
How Do You Know A Guy Is Emotionally Attached?
- He feels your feelings
- He is always there for you, and especially before you even think to ask for his help
- He defends you and your reputation
- He is always on your side
- He exhibits many of the signs of being madly in love with you
- And none of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
How Many Times Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?
Finally, please share your thoughts with me on this topic below. Do you have any questions for me?
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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