How to Get Him To Propose and Marry You Without Looking Low Value

How do you “tell a man” that you want marriage? If you want to learn how to get him to propose in a high value way, you’ve come to the right place.

In this article, I will show you exactly how you can get him to propose to you, using nothing but the authenticity that already resides within you as a feminine soul.

I got Mia’s problem in my mail box recently:

“We have been dating for 3 years, the majority of which were spent long distance.

I recently relocated to be with him, and I want him to propose.

He seems to be more focused on buying a home for us than a ring. I’m confused because I have told him that one of my goals is to be settled into a home with a family of my own.

Part of me thinks this is his way of setting everything up “perfectly” before we get married, but I’m not certain.

I’m not sure how to bring this up because I don’t want to pressure him. If I did, I’ll never feel right about the engagement and marriage because I’ll wonder if he only did it to pacify me.

I love him, and am very happy being with him. I do not regret moving, and we’ve discussed marriage. He knows that I want to marry him, but I’m beginning to feel impatient.”

get him to propose

get him to propose: don’t see it as a fight to get there

************ MY ANSWER ************
Hi Mia,

Your man will only propose marriage in order to pacify you if you try to force him in to marrying you. Or if you bring up marriage as if it will be a fight to get it on your behalf in the first place.

(Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Interesting, hey?

What if you could have him not do it to ‘pacify’ you and have him do it because he genuinely worshipped you? What if you could communicate to him in the perfect way?

The perfect way so that it really hit him that you, his precious woman, actually truly need marriage?

I’ve been exactly where you are. I, too, felt in my body like it was some kind of uncomfortable push to get to marriage.

Until I figured out the truth about how men work when it comes to marriage. I actually had to learn this the long, hard way.

I basically tried a few inefficient things to get my man to propose, and none of it worked. Call him “thick”, but he just didn’t seem to get it.

Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!

After trial & error, I hit the spot & got my man to propose

Eventually after a lot of pain and confusion, I hit the spot.

And as I hit his ‘spot’, I triggered his desire to propose to me and marry me so easily, I couldn’t believe it. I actually did it authentically.

The moment I was able to communicate authentically that I needed to marry him, he got it! We got engaged that year, and married 3 months after that.

Here’s the thing. When you’ve spent long enough with a man that you’re starting to feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick, the anger and anxiety get to you. Right?

You start to feel like unless he proposes to you soon, you may have to end up fighting with him over the topic or marriage!

This ‘fight’ is the last thing it should feel like when you want figure out how get him to propose and marry you. (See my article on why men don’t want to marry…)

It’s just a woman’s thing to feel this way. And that’s because we don’t automatically know how to communicate our need for marriage to a man.

Due to the fact that we don’t inherently understand how a MALE needs to hear our need for marriage, we only know how WE would need to hear it.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

how to get him to propose: ask in a high value way

This is an example of how communication problems occur between men and women. The key is knowing HOW to make him understand that you want marriage, and know how to ask.

You know, I have seen this same problem not only with myself. I’ve seen it over and over (this feeling of impatience and not knowing how to ask for more commitment ie: marriage) in so many women across the world.

I am convinced that we women intuitively GET that men can be put off by proposing to a woman and asking for her hand in marriage. Even though the truth is that all men do secretly love to commit. Yes, all men. Read this article on the 3 Reasons Why All Men Secretly Love to Commit.

Yet, men are sometimes put off proposing to a woman and put off marriage in a relationship. This is mostly because of their association with the idea of marriage and largely, the way the majority of women tend to go about asking for it.

CLICK HERE to discover how deeply feminine you actually are with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

Most women try to push a man to propose (& it turns him off the idea of marriage)

Think about it. How do most women (or people in general) go about asking and getting things?

Well, they PUSH. Take this common example: a woman’s best girl friend just got engaged and has a beautiful engagement ring. The woman doesn’t have that herself so, she rushes home to tell her man about it.

She tells him about how her best friend Sandra’s fiancee got HER this big fat engagement ring, yet SHE herself has not received such a thing.

No WONDER we worry about pushing a man away when we want to ask him to propose.

The problem is not that we want more commitment from men. The problem is how we go about asking and expressing our need for more commitment. (Reminds me of this lady who doubted whether her man would EVER propose.)

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

the good & bad options for getting him to propose 

When we want something from a man, there are two general ways of going about it:

1) Using some kind of indirect or direct force (not physical, though this might happen for some)

2) Inspiring it.

How do you think men become inspired to propose marriage to you?

They become inspired to propose to you when they are already deeply connected to you, and they feel your genuine NEED for marriage.

Some women resort to saying something like “I can’t stay with you any longer unless we get married”. In other words, they resort to delivering threats or ultimatums.

And that is a sign of you showing up Low Value. Keyword: showing up. You’re not really low value, but we all sometimes show up low value.

See, here’s the uncomfortable truth: you only need to issue an ultimatum when you don’t have any value to give. An ultimatum is not anywhere near the effectiveness of delivering the message to a man that you need marriage to feel secure and free as a woman.

CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)

don’t just use words to get him to propose

And, by the way, if you’re now thinking that you can go and tell your boyfriend in words that you “need marriage to feel secure and free”, you need to understand that THIS is not likely to be 100% effective.

Why? Due to the fact that you need a lot more than just a statement with words to encourage a man to do what you need him to do.

Would you be inspired to have sex with a man then and there if he said: “I need sex to feel good in the relationship.”? Would that inspire you to have sex with him then and there?

Not likely. You may give him sex out of obligation, but that’s out of obligation. Not out of inspiration. These two motivations carry very different emotional qualities behind them, wouldn’t you agree?

It would inspire you to have sex with him if he was irresistibly hot, sexy, and attractive, right? Of course!

Because him being irresistibly hot, sexy and attractive is a sign of him being High Value, and that means he’d be adding value to your life.

As for an in depth, step by step guide on how to ask for marriage, I can show you exactly how I got a client of mine to get her man to marry her in 7 days. (No, I’m absolutely not joking. That’s how powerful this approach was for inspiring her man to marry her!)

I show you how inside of my commitment Masterclass which I run with my husband.

Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass.

Here are some examples of pushing for marriage (or nagging):

“Honey, we’ve been in a relationship for 3 years, it’s about time now….!!!”

“Honey, don’t you love me enough to marry me?”

“You don’t love me otherwise you’d marry me”

“All my friends’ boyfriends have proposed, except you…”

And Mia’s idea that her boyfriend might just do it to PACIFY her does not come from her boyfriend’s attitude to marriage, it actually comes from HER viewpoint of the situation – and how she feels.

Innately, she feels that it’s difficult to ask for marriage, and doesn’t know HOW to communicate to her man in the way he can hear it best and choose to marry her.

That’s why I want to assure Mia (and you, the reader) that there is a better and safer way for how to get him to propose and to ask for more commitment and marriage.

how to get him to propose

How to make sure he proposes because he WANTS to

If you know how to appeal to a man’s GENUINE need to take care of you, then you can come from a place of power and always know in your heart that you inspired him to propose to you.

Instead of forever feeling like you cheated yourself and him out of a truly romantic union (because you PUSHED for marriage), you need to appeal to his innate masculine need to take care of you.

Every masculine man can’t help but come forth and take care of a woman who truly, actually needs it.

I’m not talking about a bimbo faking it – I’m talking about men responding to your genuine need. Your vulnerability, not your neediness. 

I have an article on this: How to be Vulnerable Without Being NEEDY.

So, here is what I suggest you do: Dig in to the deepest part of you. Go beyond your surface emotions, and into the real, core emotions, or your primary emotions.

Talk to the pure part of you that you trust. And ask this part of you WHY you want marriage. Ask the part of you that is truly vulnerable, this question:

“Why do you need or want him to propose marriage”? And don’t be afraid of the real, raw answer.

If you do this, you’ll get closer to the authentic part of you. Thus, when you get close to this part of yourself, then you will naturally bring out your man’s authentic desire to propose and marry you.

Do you know the dark art of “High Value Banter” that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.

Get him to propose using your primary emotions

What I’m getting you to do here, is I’m asking you to go deep and begin feeling the more primary emotion you have.

So, let me explain primary emotion briefly. 

Primary emotion is the emotion that we feel first in response to a situation. 

There are 8 primary emotions, according to some authorities on this subject.

The 8 primary emotions & why they make a man FEEL your need for marriage

Anger

Sadness

Fear

Joy

Interest

Surprise

Disgust; and

Shame.

Secondary emotions are the emotions that we feel after the primary emotion, and often we feel secondary emotion in response to the primary, first emotion.

For example, we may feel shame after we get angry, and we may feel guilt after feeling disgust.

The reason you want to feel primary emotion with a man to get him to propose, is because we are humans. 

Because we are humans, we respond best to, and understand in a visceral way, when someone is feeling primary emotion.

This primary emotion will allow him to emotionally connect with and bond with you. When he bonds with you, he’ll be much more likely to be inspired to propose and marry you, rather than feeling obligated to propose, simply because instead of feeling, perhaps you decided to “convince” him into proposing to you.

Convincing a man never pays off. Especially in matters of love.

You will have much more success getting him to propose to you by actually feeling your primary emotion, so that it gives him and opening to step in and feel for you or with you, and to step up, choosing to give you more of himself, because he genuinely perceives your need for marriage.

how to stay high value

Getting to Marriage is NOT something you need to go to war for

Marriage is not something you have to go to war for.

If you find you only want marriage because every other woman around you has it although you don’t really need it, that’s a key point to consider.

If you think you should be married and that’s really the only reason you want marriage, then you may want to think about why you even WANT him to marry you.

You might be able to be just as happy and feel just as safe with him without being married.

The key word that the lady in our original question used is “pacify”. I mean, parents use pacifiers on babies in order to keep them quiet.

We don’t want a man proposing marriage in order just to shut a woman up.

There Are 7 Common Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to All Men. CLICK HERE to find out what they are.

A man who is in love with you will want to give you exactly what you need

If you read this lady’s question again, you’ll notice something interesting.

This Woman’s Boyfriend actually already WANTS to give her everything!

This woman’s man actually wants to give her everything. He seems to be showing that. But Mia’s feminine brain is blinding her to this reality! (As it often can in the feminine mind).

When a man is emotionally bonded to you and is in love with you, he will automatically want to make you happy and will invest copious amounts of energy and time satisfying your deepest desires. 

Good quality men want to do the right thing by their woman, but they are often stopped from giving her what she needs due to ineffective, useless communication from women.

Here is what I mean. Men very rarely understand indirect communication from women.

This is unfortunately the mode of communication that the client in the question (Mia), and so many of us use to try to get a man to understand our need for marriage.

Here’s the part in her question that made me know:

“I want him to propose. He seems to be more focused on buying a home for us than a ring. I’m confused because I have told him that one of my goals is to be settled into a home with a family of my own.”

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

Men don’t understand indirect communication very well

This is as indirect a communication you can get. And I LOVE this example right here because men understand direct communication, not indirect communication.

Mia’s man has taken her communication (“one of my goals is to be settled into a home with a family of my own”) directly. He has gone on to actually give her what she said she wanted.

And yet she is confused. I can’t help but giggle about this because this is a typical male-female difference and problem.

She doesn’t need to be confused, because he’s buying her a home since that’s what she told him she wants. You can’t get any closer to cause and effect in this case. And that’s how the masculine brain works.

(Click here to find out more about how men thinks in our program Understanding Men)

Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 8 Question Quiz!

If you want him to propose, feel how scared you are…

Instead of having “talk” to this man, Mia should ideally actually feel. Feel and voice how scared she is that if they don’t get married, such and such will happen.

This is her accessing (and feeling) her primary emotion, and it is extremely effective with a man!

If she had told him directly that she NEED to be married, maybe things would be different (depending of course, on the emotional quality of her communication).

For exampleL did she communicate her desire for marriage in an emotionally closed off way? (ie: did she say it without feeling, in a matter-of-fact kind of way, which would never inspire a man to propose, because he cannot connect to that?)

Or did she perhaps say it from a place of genuine need…and perhaps he would actually understand that you genuinely need marriage in order to feel fully safe and trusting?

How to get him to propose

How my student got her man to marry her in 7 Days (the phrase to use)

Around this time last year, a student of mine contacted me in absolute tears and frustration, because she couldn’t get her man to marry her.

She knew her man was committed to her, but the problem was that she really wanted marriage but they hadn’t gotten there yet.

After one session with her, and giving her one line to say to her man, she contacted me 7 days later to tell me that they had gotten married. What I got my student to do first, was to figure out why she wanted marriage. (It’s usually the exact same reason for almost all women).

And then I kindly asked her to express her need for marriage to her man in a certain way, using these exact words: “I’m scared…”  And the fact is that…that was the exact truth for her.

Her man could hear and feel her need for marriage from these words.

By the way, if you haven’t yet, click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass.

Get him to propose by understanding him deeply

To you who is reading this…don’t ever forget that if you’re a woman, then you’ve most probably come into the world equipped with a feminine nature.

This feminine nature or feminine bias of thinking and seeing the world can cloud your ability to do and say what your man needs you to say in order for him to propose marriage to you.

You must always become increasingly aware that men think, see, feel, and hear things completely differently to most feminine women.

Your frustrations simply come from your biological differences and not putting the effort in to understand men so that you can get what you want in your relationship.

Understanding men is the simple most rewarding task I’ve ever embarked upon. 

It simply feels good to understand another human being (in the case of men, sometimes it’s not just another human being, it’s another species) 

I wish the same rewarding feeling of power and freedom upon you. Go check out the commitment masterclass and see for yourself, the power of the advice I’ve given.

My clients are getting married due to this advice, so what have you got to lose? 

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

Love, Renee.

renee wade what to do when he doesn't call

P.S. If you liked this article, CLICK HERE to check out my full article archives! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.

By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.

0 0 vote
Article Rating

High Value Women Group

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
37 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Jane
Jane

Hi Renee, thank you so much for this article. I approached my guy the wrong way, completely. We’ve been together for almost 4,5 years. He will be turning 30 next year. I am 24 and feeling that my life wish is to be married and have a family. I feel my biological clock ticking. And I feel like I need a decision from his side because I don’t want to waste another 5 years in which I could have found a man who wanted the same. My guy genuinely cares about me and does everything for me – except getting… Read more »

Bill Sanders
Bill Sanders

“you need to appeal to his innate masculine need to take care of you.” This is the key… I wish every woman knew how to communicate directly. It would make our job of understanding women alot easier. Renee is teaching women OUR language. I wish her success. However, just because a woman wants/needs security doesn’t mean it’s my job to provide. My masculine nature wants to take care of women and children – especially my own. Unfortunately, there is no sense of reciprocity in today’s women or children, like there was in past generations or other cultures. This is a… Read more »

Timothy Wenners
Timothy Wenners

We will not marry you.

We know what the stats are. We know how often you initiate divorce. (70%)

Enjoy your cats.

Caroline
Caroline

I just expressed myself to my boyfriend of a year and a half. I said I’m scared that we may not want the same things. I expressed my feelings of wanting a family and a home. I didn’t blame him at all. I just said how I felt. He said he of course has thought of a future for us and that he loves me and wants to be with me. He said he’s lonely when I’m not around and that he always wants to stay over. But the day after I did that and today, he didn’t really message… Read more »

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Reply to  Caroline

Caroline, what happened? Has he come back to you in the way he was before? Proposed? Update pls!

Natty
Natty

Hi Renee, You pin point things very well, so I am sharing my issue with you, in the hope you are some of your more seasoned readers can advise 🙂 I thought I understood this advice but the issue that has comes up shows that I obviously haven’t taken it the right way or far enough. Long story short, I am 28, female and I have been in am LTR for almost 2 years. My bf is 38. He is typically masculine and I feminine in most ways. After 9 months my housing situation fell apart. I started to look… Read more »

Viki Samoja
Viki Samoja
Reply to  Natty

As you recieved no answer i will give you my oppinion as a man. Marriage is a big deal for a man, even with prenup and stuff it still puts a lot of power over him in the hands of the woman, she may for example start denying him sex, either as a bargining chip or because she no longer feels the need. Also, there are other things that are going trough his mind, unfortunately there are leaches among us, male and female, male leaches come in form of a “pump and dump” guys, sure you know abot them, female… Read more »

Bill Sanders
Bill Sanders
Reply to  Viki Samoja

You are absolutely right. I would NEVER get married again. Marriage confers no benefits to a man – and massive benefits to a woman. Prove your love and maturity by dropping the subject. After all, being happy together is the real goal, right?

Sylvie
Sylvie

Hi Renee, you keep mentioning in your articles that a man needs to feel the need to take care of a woman. I am having really hard time truly understanding this concept – a man taking care of a woman. There is the polite behavior like opening a door for a woman or paying for dinner. But if a woman is not sick or does not have small children, how can a man take care of a woman in the sense you are talking about? Especially if she makes her own money? I am really sorry, but I am confused.

Viki Samoja
Viki Samoja
Reply to  Sylvie

If a woman is true to herself she is often times a small boat in the ocean of emotions, often times she is facing a turmoil of emotions, and a man can be her safe harbor, her anchor, but only if she is open to him, i think that is what Renee is talking about.

Bill Sanders
Bill Sanders
Reply to  Viki Samoja

A man feels the need to take care of a woman instinctively. “you need to appeal to his innate masculine need to take care of you.” This is the key… I wish every woman knew how to communicate directly. It would make our job of understanding women alot easier. Renee is teaching women OUR language. I wish her success.

Brenda Brewer
Brenda Brewer

Hi Renee!

I do it simply because I LOVE myself enough to trust myself. I know what I want and know that love takes time to grow and I trust that! I say with genuine humility that marriage is what I want when the time is right and I accept th man’s response out of respect for his feelings in the moment. I just plain old TRUST everything. 🙂 the soul sista xoxo

Mia
Mia

It’s Mia!!

Just wanted to give you all an update.

******drumroll********

We’re engaged!!! He completely caught me by surprise, but I took your advice Renee and let him know about my fears about us. We talked about it, he never confirmed that marriage was coming up, but did stress his commitment to our relationship and building a future with me.

Next thing ya know, he’s down on one knee!!! Apparently he’d planned the entire thing out and involved my family in the surprise. It was amazing! Thank you soooooo much!

unknown k
unknown k

Hey Renee! I’ve recently been very confused about my relationship with my boyfriend. I’m 18 and he’s 23. We’ve been together for over a year now and had sex. It’s a long distance relationship and we’ve met once and planning to meet again to spend some time with each other. We brought up marriage but he’s told me that he wants to wait and settle down with his job first and that he loves me but he just wants me to give him some time. I’m fine with that, but when I meet him again I don’t want to have… Read more »

Sue Pratt
Sue Pratt

How do I email you? What is your email address. please. Facebook is very diificult for me. I want to ask you something about your classes. How do I do it?

Tiff
Tiff

Is simply *asking* a man, without pushing, if he sees marriage down the line with you a bad idea? Or asking him his views on marriage in general?
Or does that make you look desperate and goes against the idea of “inspiring” it?

Kailey
Kailey

Hi Renee, This is SO weird because I had this conversation with my boyfriend yesterday. We are graduating college and he has recieved a job in a location that i will not go without a ring–with that said, i will go to some close city if i know that he has the intention of us ending up together. We are only 21 –so its not that I want MARRIAGE now, but that I want him to want marriage with me in the next couple of years…we have been dating 2 and a half years and although he is the sweetest… Read more »

GIA LEE
GIA LEE

Hey Renee, Thanks for this inspiring article. in currently dating a guy whose only interest in the relationship is sex. We have been dating for 6 months now and each time we are together,all he talks about is sex n how he longs to have it with me. He even told me that sex will be the only prove that I love him and that he can’t marry any girl he hasn’t slept with. Renee, I love this guy with every fibre in me(which he knows), but in scared that sex is all he wants from me and I might… Read more »

camy
camy

Hi, Renee. Why some men love children and some men don’t ? Can this be triggered in a man ?

Anne
Anne
Reply to  camy

If he loves you he will stay with out sex,in a mans mind sex is not love.Also if you’ve already told him no to sex,and then have sex anyways he will lose alot of respect for you,for giving in so easily,after saying no.

Anna
Anna

Last weekend my man and I were reading an article on a baby that did not survive. He seemed surprised, yet I did not. I told him that human babies need A LOT of care to survive, and that the woman NEEDS the man there to help protect her and her babies, and to take care of them. I told him that’s why women get needy sometimes, and need the security of knowing their man will be there; it’s just to help us survive. He stared at me for what seemed like minutes and I could see a lightbulb go… Read more »

Anna
Anna
Reply to  Renee Wade

Thank you Renee, this means a lot to me. I couldn’t have made this progress without the things I’ve learned here. =)

Sara
Sara

Thanks Renee. I love this article. I’m actually hoping my boyfriend will propose soon. I do have one comment though. Being vulnerable and truthfully communicating your fears to your man in a way that he understands and that makes him want to take care of you in this way ie marriage, will probably work. However, I also know that he may not propose within days of this. We still have to be patient. This truth you speak of is not a magic wand to get us a proposal when we feel like it. We still have to be mature and… Read more »

V
V

Hi Renee,

I have read lots of your articles and I found it helpful. I would like to ask about Commitment Control Program, how I should register? I am from Malaysia.

Okay, back to this topic. I think this speaks my mind. I have bunch of friends who will be getting married this year and guess what, just saw one of their proposal videos. It was so sweet and deep down in my heart, I wish he will do the same to me too. (I think I am insane now ).

Mona
Mona

Very inspiring as usual.
Just wondering how to awaken the need in a man to take care of a woman without being needy ( which apparently causes the exact opposite, i.e. to withdraw.)
Take care of your girls 😉

camy
camy

Dear Renee, my heart is full of joy sinse i “met” you…You inpire my soul…I read every article with an agenda in my hand…I take notes and meditate about what you meant…
You once said, in one article that :’compassion is not for another person, is for ourselves’…I don’t think i really understand it…or feel it…Can you hep me with that?

camy
camy
Reply to  Renee Wade

Thank you, Renne 🙂
I wonder which is the reason, that is the same for all women…but i will search deeper into my soul…I think is has to do with de baby…but i’m not quite sure.
Society has definetly to do with the big proposal…but i’m still searching 🙂

T.R.
T.R.

I love this and needed this and it couldn’t have been more TIMELY. Just got into a huge disagreement with my mom who thought it her job to convince me that I should use manipulation and withhold sex to quote: “Give him a reason to marry you.” I’m familiar with her logic as it she and others programmed it in my mind since being a young girl: the whole “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” line. Its something I accepted as TRUTH for a long time without question…that is until I grew up, came… Read more »

Jasmin
Jasmin
Reply to  T.R.

Your mom may have said it In a tactless way, but IMO, she is right, not about witholding sex, that’s wrong. But…IMO a month is way too long to spend with a man without a ring and a date. So far, you only have words from your man without much action. One of the most difficult life lessons I have learned is to pay attention to what men DO, not want they say. It is not trickery and manipulation to limit being so accommodating. It is about having boundaries and not yet settling for less than you are worth. Many… Read more »

Send this to a friend