A mysterious woman is one who has natural feminine radiance, is multidimensional and is intrinsically high value.
Here’s why it’s important for you to know how to be a mysterious woman…
A sense of mystery makes all of us want more and inspires us to invest deeper. It makes us excited in anticipation of more.
When you are able to access the natural feminine part of you that is by default mysterious to men, then men will want to invest more in you and who you are.
The concept of being a woman of mystery is so much more than just keeping things fresh and exciting, and it’s never about playing mind games.
But rather it’s about adding this specific type of spontaneous and dopamine-filled value to the men in your life.
Table of Contents
- In order to cultivate mystery, you need to have multidimensionality in your personality, esteem for yourself, and plenty of authentic feminine energy
- Most men love mystery woman because without it, there can be no excitement in the relationship
- Real mystery isn’t about giving no information about yourself when you talk, instead waiting for others to do all the talking. It is about being true to what you value (not what you have to conform to) – and how well you stick to that versus allowing social pressure to drown out your own voice
Want to learn one thing you can say to any man that will will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say? CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say…
Do Men Like Mysterious Women?
Most men do – of course they do. A woman with a sense of natural mystery is exciting. She makes a man want to discover more, like there’s so much more value to her than meets the eye.
That being said, there are some men in the world who would feel an aversion to mysterious women for their own reasons.
Just like almost all men like “hot”, desirable women, there’s a small sub-group of men who decide to go against the grain.
These men may be influenced by a certain type of thinking in their friendship group and feel that unless they conform to that thinking, their friends won’t love them anymore.
These men may simply have a distrust for hot, mysterious women, or they could just have low self esteem.
So as hot as you may be, you cannot please everyone, and neither should you please everyone.
What Is The Meaning Of Mysterious Woman?
The word “mysterious” has its own definition that we shouldn’t ignore. It means:
‘Strange, not known, or not understood.”
As you can see, this concept of mystery doesn’t always carry with it a positive undertone. Although, if you are reading this article, you’ll be assuming positive things about being a mysterious woman.
Whilst being mysterious is a high value trait, to some men, you may just seem odd.
But you can increase your chances of having a positive sense of mystery by going about it the right way.
See, if you assume like most women that mysteriousness is about withholding information for the sake of it and playing hard to get, that’s when you’ll be more likely to come across as strange, because they won’t feel connected to you.
What Makes A Woman Mysterious?
It is her sense of feminine radiance and intrinsic value. It is these two things that makes people wonder about her.
- Who she is
- What she does
- What she believes; and
- Why she’s extra special
But she’s not all about herself – because this is what most people interpret mysterious to mean, just subconsciously. Even though she’s deeply radiant, she’s still got “value” to men, because she actually adds value.
She’s not merely trying to put on an act by playing hard to get – just so that she can have more power in an interaction.
How To Be Mysterious In A Relationship
It comes down to two things:
- Letting yourself be multidimensional
- Relaxing into your natural feminine self
Multidimensionality is a forever thing, which means it lasts when you’re in a long term relationship or marriage.
The same is true of being your feminine self. A feminine woman has a cycle which she goes through each month.
We call this the menstrual cycle of course, but there’s much more to it than just being on or off your period.
With the menstrual cycle actually comes different parts of you.
For example, when your body is preparing to ovulate, you’ll be:
- More affectionate and loving
- More energetic
- More sensual and sexual
- More open to a man
However, when you’ve stopped ovulating and are in the second stage of your cycle, your mood changes along with your hormones, which means that your desires and emotions will change.
Each month you become different types of women, and this makes you naturally mystifying and multidimensional.
Now more on feminine energy:
The feminine energy itself encompasses all of life. This means that you are dark and light feminine.
These factors are the answers to how to be a mysterious woman naturally in your relationship. You just have to relax into it.
Most women are so stressed, living with so many rules, and so concerned about what others think that their authentic selves are nowhere to be seen.
And I get it. No one wants to feel ostracized or to be that person who sticks out like a sore thumb. Thus the authentic self is hidden.
And if it is to be seen, it might come out awkwardly, perhaps because she’s been holding down so many parts of herself each day just to survive.
Would you like to discover how naturally feminine you are? You can find out with our free quiz. QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!
So to recap: knowing how to be mysterious in a relationship is about allowing yourself to be a multidimensional woman as well as relaxing into who you really are as a feminine woman.
A masculine man will think you have mystery when you are your true feminine self.
But why is your natural self fascinating?
Because it’s not the world he lives in as a man. And he doesn’t and cannot ever live in that feminine reality (with a few exceptions) and see the world exactly the way she does.
You as a woman are mysterious even if you don’t make a conscious effort to be that way. All it really takes is for you to relax more into who you are.
We’re naturally meant to be fascinating to the opposite sex!
Masculine/feminine are opposites and they attract, produce fire and create intense sexual energy because they’re opposites. And these energies are meant to feed one another.
If You Want To Cultivate Mystery, Avoid THIS
Of course, knowing how to be a mysterious woman is also about knowing what to avoid. Here’s what to avoid:
- Seeking approval a lot of the time
- Being a people pleaser all the time (it’s ok sometimes, but when this trait dominates your personality, it leads to you being boring)
- Trying to take value from men all the time. There’s no mystery in a persistent value extractor, but in contrast, there is tonnes of mystery in an intrinsically high value woman
Pleaser women, women who are constantly trying to take from men or who are seek approval a lot will repel men, regardless of how great they look on the outside.
This is the sad reality of a woman who shows up low value: not only does she not allow herself to be mysterious and alluring to men, she cannot maintain a sense of mystery in long term relationships as she cannot get past low value patterns.
And I call them low value patterns because no one is inherently low value. It’s our patterns that are low value.
By the way, did you know that there are 7 Common Signs that a woman is perceived as low value to all men.
Do You Know What They Are & How to Avoid Them Like the Plague?
CLICK here to discover the 7 common signs that a woman is perceived as low value in the eyes of men in this special report. (Why is this important? Because men and women perceive value very differently and you don’t want to be making mistakes that would cause quality men to dismiss, abandon or alienate you.)
How To Be Mysterious To A Man?
Have a think about your actual goal here for a minute. What are you looking to accomplish exactly?
You’re looking to arouse a man’s interest (or regain his interest), drive him wild and make him want to know more about you.
Essentially what you’re looking to do is not be boring or easy to work out. And by doing that, you can make more men more attracted to you.
You want to let men think that there’s just “something” about her. Let me illustrate this with a quick example.
Have you ever met a man or a young guy who was not your normal “type”, but he triggered uncontrollable intrigue and fascination within the deepest part of you?
Perhaps he was rather physically plain from your point of view – yet you couldn’t help but find yourself drawn to him?
Perhaps you found yourself wanting to know more about him?
I know when I was at university, there was a guy in one of my lectures who was quite physically unappealing.
Yet one day us girls were discussing this mysterious stranger, and we unanimously decided that there was just “something about him”.
That something was a quiet, self-assured, unshakable self-confidence as well as masculine pride.
He wasn’t asking for permission to be awesome and he was unapologetically masculine with unshakeable esteem for himself.
Put simply, he had intrinsic value within himself. He wasn’t waiting on the world to provide him with value, he already had all the value within him, and that was:
- His confidence (for a woman, this would be radiance as radiance is for women what confidence is for men). CLICK HERE to read more on what feminine radiance is. (An article by my man.)
- His sense of masculine direction
- He was likely securely attached and not insecurely attached
- He held himself as a high value, high status man
- He didn’t care about gaining our approval
It took me a while to figure it out, but this guy had such an impact on me that I still remember him almost 20 years later. And I wouldn’t have spoken more than a few sentences to him either.
With that said, here is how to be mysterious to a man.
#1: Build Authentic Self Esteem
A solid self esteem is the first step here because it is one of those things that are invisible about you, yet can be felt palpably.
If you develop real esteem for yourself, all your actions can come from a high value place, making this one of the most interesting things about you.
There are two aspects to building self esteem and they are:
- Developing earned secure attachment; and
- Making yourself do difficult things. This gives your mind and body “proof” that you’re capable and worthy
#2: Relax into Your Dark And Light Feminine
Both your light feminine energy and dark feminine energy are important. In this day and age, we all tend to value the light side, because it’s the most cooperative and easy to get along with.
The light feminine doesn’t make others feel too envious or uncomfortable, so she’s socially appropriate.
But without dark feminine, you have no depth and no “oomph” to your personality.
#3: Be Careful With Your Information
…And try not to overshare.
Notice I didn’t say “don’t tell a man too much about yourself”, or “let the man tell you about himself while you say nothing about yourself”.
None of that is real value.
Simply be careful what you share – if in doubt, leave extra information out.
It’s more important to connect with me than it is to give information.
#4: Don’t Depend On Approval From Friends
Research tells us that lot of people are without true friends these days, but if you are one of those people who has a lot of friends around you, just remember that you don’t need their approval to make the right choices for yourself.
And you don’t need their approval to value the things that matter.
The more time you spend trying to please your friends, the more time you lose to invest in the things that are of real consequence in your own life.
But what about this makes you mysterious? How does this leave people wondering about you?
Because true mystery is when you trust yourself enough to go your own way, based on authentic values and the things that truly matter.
Don’t follow the crowd out of fear that you won’t be accepted. Most if not all of them aren’t really going to give a damn about you when it comes to the crunch anyway.
#5: Engage in Playful Banter
Being able to engage in playful banter shows four crucial things about you:
- That you’re secure
- That you are in good enough emotional and mental health to be present and connect
- That you value attraction and connection, which naturally brings value to men
- You’re dark feminine
Are Brunettes More Mysterious?
I once heard a male TV presenter discuss hair color on women with another presenter, and one of them said ‘I like all hair colors on women, but I think there’s a certain mystery to brunettes’.
Although this is just his perspective, I understand his perspective.
What he’s saying is that in his experience, brunettes have a more mysterious energy than those ladies with other hair colours.
Perhaps it’s the fact that they’re ok with their natural hair color, perhaps it’s just this guy’s own bias.
Blondes, black-haired women and redheads can all be equally mysterious.
Regardless, I found this interesting, and started thinking about it. If you’re fine being yourself, and being a leader rather than a follower, you’ll attract people to you, and these people will want more.
Also, they will want to know more about you.
There Is Endless Magic And Value Already Within You
I just want to tell you this: We all have something extraordinary inside of us.
That is to say, we all have a lot of value to give, provided, of course, we cultivate value within ourselves first.
And we all find high value people mysterious and alluring, because we are designed to gravitate towards and be fascinated by value.
Conversely, we are all repelled by value-extracting people, low value people and people who are needy of validation and approval.
These people aren’t enigmatic or mystical.
We want to be around intrinsically high value people and want to know more about them.
Mainly because we all know there is that extraordinary thing inside of us too, if we could just ‘tap into it’.
(In case you’re wondering, that ‘thing’ is likely a sense of resourcefulness, which for many, is described as “confidence”).
We want to be around confident, resourceful people, and seeing somebody else with this special energy tends to make us want it more of them and want to bring out more of it within ourselves.
That’s what mystery is about.
It’s having the confidence to be all of you, to be mutidimensional and to be naturally who you are at your core.
When you are able to tap into these qualities, this translates to you being high value.
We’ve all seen groups of ladies together who look the same.
They don’t look the same because they’ve got the same natural facial features, they look the same because they are all just seeking each other’s approval to stay in the clan.
Plus, they all feel the same on the inside, and therefore they exude the same energy which we humans pick up on.
Women Who Are Not Mysterious
There are plenty of women running around, flaunting their sexuality for example.
There is usually no mystery to these people.
Everything is there for all to see. Yes, men will chase them, but they will chase them for easy sex, not because they want to love them and protect them forever.
If a woman readily flaunts her sexuality, and wears revealing clothing and talks loud etc, everyone knows subconsciously why she’s doing it.
Every human being knows what it’s like to want attention, this is easy to understand.
Every human being knows what it’s like to feel like they are not enough, and this feeling gives us pain.
We don’t want pain – we want someone who can make us happy and someone whom we can experience pleasure with.
The people who flaunt themselves for attention are sometimes unaware that people know why they’re doing it. It’s pretty obvious to most of us.
The fact that this type of attention seeking is transparent automatically leaves little mystery to us as women (if we act that way).
How To Be Mysterious To Your Husband
Have you ever noticed that couples who have been together for a long time start to look alike?
This is cute, yes, but I think there’s a bad side to this. Ideally, in a relationship where you are still madly in love and hot for each other, you’ll see some differences clearly.
You’ll see polarity.
And you’ll see stark differences between them, which are what create excitement and attraction.
The Women Who Relate Completely To Men….
I also often see women take up their man’s passion in order to connect with him and to feel more loved by him.
I know women taking up golf competitively for example, in order to connect with their man and be more accepted.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with playing a sport that he likes for fun.
But if you go along with him all the time just to ‘be like him’, it’s great that you guys will develop a connection from this.
It’s not all about finding commonalities. It’s also about maintaining your natural sense of feminine multidimensionality in order to maintain deep feelings of attraction within a man.
Due to the loss of polarity and differences, you will lose that sense of mystery!
He understands you completely all the time; there’s no mystery.
It is beneficial to be a tomboy or to be “one of the boys” some of the time, if that’s what you enjoy.
Just don’t do it because you want to wear fake masculine masks just to feel like you’re “worthy”.
There’s a huge difference between doing things because you want to be more worthy, and doing things because they make you more of yourself, allowing you to bring more value to yourself and to a man!
Being A Mysterious Woman Isn’t Just About Being Feminine (There’s More…)
Let’s just put aside the feminine/masculine business for a moment, and think about mystery in general.
If for example you’re in a social group, and find that everyone acts the same (who you spend time with is who you become!!)
If there is a person who is strong enough to be themselves, and is different to the rest – this captures people’s attention.
Humans notice contrast.
The reason an authentic person who is a leader is mysterious is because of many things.
But one reason is because they have something which everybody wants – their own unique direction and identity. That’s mystifying!
And if you’re a leader, everyone suddenly wants to know about this special advantage that you have.
Why are you so radiant?
Why do you have so much value to offer?
Why are you so “confident”?
And who is this mysterious girl?
Authenticity is power. Everyone is born unique. But we don’t all end up unique.
Most people will tend to blend in and try to fit in in order to gain acceptance, to conform, and to be safe.
I hope that all made sense.
Have a lovely day/night and do feel free to share with me your thoughts on this article below.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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