7 Keys to Becoming a Classy Woman

how to be classy

7 Keys to Becoming a Classy Woman

Traditionally, classy means to be stylish and elegant; respectable and lovely. However, I find the traditional definition and ideas of how to be classy can be slightly limiting, depending on how you interpret it.

So let’s re-define classy in a better way: a genuine, feminine and high quality woman who holds herself and thinks of herself highly regardless of what life circumstances may present, and despite what other people may think. A classy woman does not judge herself regardless of what mistakes she might make and knows that aiming for perfection is really failure because it is just a way to beat yourself up inside. Moreover, because of these attributes, a classy woman can handle all social situations and conversation with confidence.

That being said, here are the 7 Keys to becoming a classy woman.

1) You should start by being a high quality woman and projecting (marketing) yourself as such.

What is classy is special. Classy is something you don’t get on your average street corner. However, the reason high class women are so rare is because most women give trash. The reason they give trash is because they think trash (about themselves and others), talk trash, and habitually focus on trash.

You cannot be high class if you don’t THINK you are high class. You have to start by believing you are top stuff. (If you’re wondering how to do that, please see the next dot-point). It’s your job to market what you have, and to market yourself, you have to believe you are It.

If you don’t think marketing yourself is important, then I must tell you that you could be the best woman around – loyal, sweet, dynamic – and people wouldn’t have a clue. Marketing yourself doesn’t mean to yell and shout about yourself (far from it). Marketing yourself – is all about holding yourself highly, and acting so (impeccable self-respect, NOT carelessness). There’s a difference. For example, the difference between making a mistake and “not giving a ****” and making a mistake, acknowledging it, and proceeding to move on and do better. The former is about the woman having little regard for herself, and the latter is all about her valuing herself and others. (read my article about the quick contrast of light and dark feminine)

A high quality woman is a woman of value and a woman of value is one who values the happiness of others, and who is considerate. People will rarely perceive real value in you unless you give THEM something. Think of what a typical low value and low quality woman looks and acts like. Usually, this kind of woman is so significance-driven that she is habitually unable to listen, to care for or to help others. Typically, this kind of woman makes you cringe because she gives the female gender a bad name. She may even frustrate you with anger because you simply can’t get a word in and let’s face it, it’s HARD being around someone who doesn’t care about you at all.

A woman of low value has such a low sense of self-worth that it’s impossible for her to perceive what life is like from another angle. She’s too in to herself! It’s very much a case of ‘the empty vessel makes the most noise’.

Here is what a high quality woman is NOT: She is not someone who is constantly sucking value from others.

2) Develop rituals that support your sense or self-worth.

As I stated above, a classy woman is a woman with a high sense of self-worth and who also projects herself that way. And high self-worth only comes from knowing you are worthy.

However – you can only truly know, and feel, with certainty that you are worthy when you DO enough, ACCOMPLISH enough, and GIVE enough (to yourself and others) that you have little choice but to give yourself utmost respect. (read my article about do beautiful woman intimidate men)

If you think I’m talking about accomplishments in the traditional ‘career’ sense that this world so encourages for women, you’re wrong. This is not a true, lasting accomplishment. I’m talking about emotional fitness: a woman who can hold her own yet give her heart in the face of grave fears.

So – develop rituals: whether that be a daily practice of gratitude, A daily resolve to push a little further on your spiritual path with your spouse or your children, a daily practice of viewing life as a playground rather than a battleground and looking for the evidence to support that belief, a daily ritual of giving love rather than judgments – it’s up to you.

These rituals are a way to make you actually feel great about yourself. Not just empty self-talk. And have you ever been in a group of women and one was crying over a tragedy (being lied to by a man or something) and all the girls are saying “don’t worry honey, you can get anyone you want – he’s just a slag”. Well, this is mostly useless because most women in this situation don’t make any changes – and just then proceed to think trash. You must to think GOLD thoughts to become Gold.

Example: you can use this as a measure of your sense of self-worth and confidence: If you were dropped in the middle of a daunting social situation, say, the red carpet tomorrow in among the most respected, poised and famous leaders, philanthropists, business men and women, actresses, designers, etc – would you be comfortable, and looking forward to the event? Would you believe that you too, have something of value to bring to the occasion?

3) A high class woman rarely loses her cool.

There are, of course, situations in which a woman will feel and seem crazy, needs to raise her voice and get angry and that is fine. You don’t want to be one-dimensional.

However, the point here is not to just not lose your cool, or not to have anger, it’s about having the mindset that allows you to move forward and not damage things with people unnecessarily because of your need to feel better and significant in a moment, in a misunderstanding with someone who means a lot to you, or any other difficult situation.

This is about a confidence in yourself to be able to handle anything that happens. I know this is not easy, because sometimes, we feel very uncertain, vulnerable, lost, unloved, hurt, shocked, and overwhelmed. We all have those moments – but remember, it is what you do about it, most of the time (not some of the time) that counts. (Please see dot point 2 for a strategy on what to do). It really goes back to valuing yourself.

4) Great Posture. 

Probably one of the most important attributes a classy woman must have is great posture. I’ve done a video and post on posture (with the help of my Hero, my Man, David). You can see it here: 3 Steps to Good Posture Instantly. The reason posture is so important is because it affects how others perceive you a lot more than you could imagine. If a woman holds herself highly, she usually has great posture and people are drawn to this. It’s one of the quickest, fastest and best ways to market yourself and to feel better about yourself. As humans, we are all drawn to people or things that seem to be of high value, and to humans who project themselves as high value.

We want the best because it means a better experience, a better quality of life, more safety (at a primal level, mostly in our subconscious).

If a woman walks around with her shoulders slumped, people subconsciously pick up on this energy! I promise you! Even if they don’t consciously know your posture is bad. Go check out the video now. Go! Here it is again: How to get good posture.

5) Authenticity, authenticity, AUTHENTICITY.

Contrary to popular belief, being classy and elegant isn’t about “self-control” or holding things in. It’s not about being a stoic.

Always be authentic. You could have just lost a dear family member, your dog could have gotten run over, you could have had a big issue with your best friend, you could be down about losing your job, or just life’s problems, and that is all fine – as long as you are authentic.

A classy woman doesn’t fake happiness. This is false advertising, and false marketing! You can be grieving, or experiencing emotional suffering, and still be classy. All you have to do is acknowledge the pain, perhaps share your feelings with others, but still hold yourself with grace and poise.

To actually be authentic, you must value being authentic more than you value having another kind of ‘identity’. This identity problem consumes a lot of us women. For example, a lot of women are actually feeling hurt at a given time but pretend to be the happy mother, friend or wife, because they don’t want to have the identity of being silly or overly sensitive (in this masculine world, we tend to look down on a woman’s natural and biological gift of emotions – and our ability to feel these emotions for an extended period of time).

Drop the identity thing and go for authenticity. Authenticity rules over anything. More than ever now, people are starting to want what is real. Secretly, deep down (behind the masks that many of us put up) I think we all prefer to be around what is real. In the old days, it was a lot about ‘show’ and keeping ‘face’. Now, things are becoming more transparent. Also, we are sick of living in a fast-paced environment where people are always climbing the corporate ladder, valuing ‘things’ or money, and we want people who are clear rather than obscure.

6) Be True to Yourself

You cannot be classy unless you are true to yourself, so stay true to your feminine core and be OK being a woman. Don’t view having long hair as a drag, put the effort in to looking pretty and beautiful – women are supposed to look and more importantly, be attractive. This is only going to happen when you exude femininity, however.

It’s not about wanting to change what you’ve been given, or being superficial, it’s simply about taking pride in your femininity and your appearance.

Many younger as well as middle-aged women simply let themselves go. In other words, they start to value themselves less. They get fat, stop combing or styling their hair nicely (or cut it in to a short style that their husband hates), stop making the time to exercise, eat well or socialize.

Letting your appearance go can sometimes be a tell tale sign that you habitually feel bad about yourself, your life. or that you don’t care about yourself, which negates class.

Aging is not an issue for a classy woman. Age can and often does do wonderful things for a woman – including giving her added class, if she loves herself. Meryl Streep is a prime example.

Hint: Here is what classy is not: it’s not about having money. Look at Paris Hilton! Or perhaps Amy Winehouse. Enough said.

7) Dress modestly where it fits.

Don’t turn up to a classy function with your breasts overflowing. I have noticed that a lot of women use their large breast size as an excuse for not being able to keep them out-of-view. Regardless of breast size, small or large – a woman can choose to put them on show or not. (read my article about dressing feminine in the workplace)

Don’t turn up to your father’s 50th in a backless dress with plunging neck-line and a hem that barely passes your hip bone.

At certain times, or on certain occasions (social or private), it’s fine to show leg or cleavage. However, you must have the awareness and self-respect to judge correctly. And for most women, it’s not a matter of stupidity or ignorance of dress code, either. It’s really a matter of: how desperate are you for attention? Even if only subconsciously. How sure are you that you are valuable as a woman without revealing everything? How small do you really feel inside?

If a woman has a nice figure, (nice legs, breasts, bum) – people can actually tell, even if you’re wearing a turtle neck and tracksuit pants! Even if you’re wearing a paper bag! It’s just that it may not be as “eye-catching” because the vie for attention isn’t so obvious.

Make sure there are some nicely tailored dresses and pants in your wardrobe that are form-fitting, well-made and good quality. Even if you can only afford one or two pieces. It’s worth it.

Below is a list of women whose style and mannerisms you could choose to model. The best way to start dressing classy is to choose someone you identify with and see what she wears. Carefully observe the posture on these women!

Here are some possible examples of women with class:

Catherin Zeta-Jones

Meryl Streep

Kate Middleton

Michelle Pfeiffer

Natalie Portman

Nicole Kidman

Michelle Obama

Lucy Liu

Drew Barrymore

Julianne Moore

Rachel McAdams

Vanessa Paradis

You ;)

One final note: please remember that as a classy woman, you have the audacity to contribute to, as well as care for, those women who you perceive as less classy. Being classy is not about excluding people. If you haven’t downloaded my goddess report… click here to do so.

What do you think makes a woman classy? Please add your thoughts and advice in the comments section for what makes a classy woman so that we can learn from you. Peace and Love -XxX-

Renee the feminine woman

78 Comments

  • Jules

    Reply Reply April 1, 2014

    I love you Renee. You are so positive. Just read the classy woman article and nice how you answered the classy list with “you.” I needed to hear that… Thanks for the perks!! Jules

  • Natalie

    Reply Reply March 31, 2014

    Its so true, you must take care of yourself, and dressing. You might think that little black , open back dress is hot! But most men ,yes, they like to look at that, but will most likely not marry a women who does not dress classy, meaning slightly covered. You can be just as sexy , by wearing something a little loose fitting, and low cut, yet flattering. Ralph Lauren has the most beautiful, classy and sexy clothes.And the sales are amazing!! But there are many nice clothing lines, that is just 1 suggestion.A blue collar man is most likely to marry someone who dresses in basically anything, and a white collar worker, men- will pick a women who knows how to dress a little more conservative, and classy shoes( a must)!!

  • jdhartil

    Reply Reply March 5, 2014

    This is one of the best articles I have read and I am making these seven items my priority

  • kimeal

    Reply Reply January 20, 2014

    I loved it. So helpful and eye opening. I will take your advice and work it in my life. You were on point with every single word. Keep up the good work. Your advice isn’t for everyone. Only for those who are hungry for change. By the way, I also liked when you said,”you(with a wink)” at the end;)

  • ark

    Reply Reply November 21, 2013

    Great article, except I somewhat disagree about marketing, as it seems to be taken way too far way too often by so many women especially online. I can’t see how chestbeating about how wonderful and accomplished and independent a woman is makes her more attractive. I guess like with many other things – moderation is the key.
    I would suggest that along with dressing modestly, a woman should also share her accomplishments with a degree of modesty.
    Another good article about being a class woman is here:
    http://www.practicalhappiness.com/classy-woman/

  • Lucia

    Reply Reply November 21, 2013

    Beautifully written.

  • arkady

    Reply Reply November 20, 2013

    Good advice. About posture- it’s improtant not to take it too far. I see quite a few women walk around with their chin way up, and who look like they think they are God’s gift, which makes them come across as too full of themselves, unfriendly and unapproachable.

  • Elena

    Reply Reply November 12, 2013

    I love it that you put “you“ at the end of the list :)

  • Sarah

    Reply Reply November 5, 2013

    This article was extremely amazing. I found it just at the right time, i’m turning 21 next month so i feel i’m at that stage where i need to become the lady i want to be. This article was very motivational and eye opening. Thanks Renee xx

  • Eric

    Reply Reply October 1, 2013

    Dear Renee (or anyone else who can give me a constructive answer) – I need your help in giving advice to a wonderful lady who I believe is heading down the wrong path. A little back ground… I met this lady online and we hit it off very nicely… I felt her to be a strong women with a good head on her shoulders etc…We would talk on skype etc and chat all the time… She had told me about her past relationships etc… Anyways, we felt very comfortable talking with one another. Well the things she told me about this guy she was with last were very disturbing to say the least. To try to keep this as short as possible we were falling in love with each other… and then things seemed to change and could sense that she was pulling away… Anyways, she was always open with me… She became very depressed etc… and seemed to not know what she wanted to do in regards to her career etc… if she wanted to be in a relationship etc… Anyways, I still stayed her friend… as I cared for her, But it was hard for me even to be her friend as it were cuz it just hurt that she just kind of dropped me as it were… and I told her that I need to cut all ties with her for me to move on… I felt that is what I need to do for me to move forward. Anyways, we talked about it tonight and anyways she disclosed to me that she was getting back together with her ex that treated her so bad… And I kind of sensed that that was what was going on. I told her that would be a very big mistake… and talked to her about value herself etc… She of course said that she still love him etc… She doesnt understand why she still wants him and knows she maybe making a big mistake. I told her that I cared enough for her to tell her the truth… I want her happy, no matter who she is with.. But I know she would be happy with this guy… I need to know what to say to her so that she does not head down the wrong path… I know the choice is hers ultimately, but I have to at least tell her how I felt about it – Thanks for your time on this matter. Eric

    • francessanne

      Reply Reply October 5, 2013

      Eric: for as much as Renee teaches us to be high value women, it is the same for a man. You’re torturing yourself unnecessarily.

      Going forward, you should not let a woman that you are romantically interested in talk to you about her ex, her feelings for him or whether or not she’d be happy with him or any man instead of you.

      It is respectful for a woman not to be paying attention to the man in front of her for what HE MIGHT OFFER AND BRING TO HER LIFE as a romantic partner. You allowed her to put you into ‘the friend zone’ instead of ‘potential lover’ category and I know that you are hurting or you wouldn’t be writing here.

      Whether or not she chooses this man or another, it isn’t your concern–unless it’s you. The worst thing a man can ever do to allow a woman to disrespect his own vulnerablity by saying ‘yes’ to a friendship as a consolation prize.

      If you can’t have the relationship that you want with her, it’s an all or nothing situation. Re-read that and remember it always. Say ‘no’ and walk away with your head held high; that’s the move of a high value male.

      Right now, your actions aren’t matching your words. You’ve told her that you needed to cut all ties and then stayed engaged in the conversation while she told you about him….and you’re continuing potential contact by wanting to give her advice from here. You’re not her shrink; you’re not her girlfriend. Stop settling for the crumbs of a relationship that this woman is throwing. Get up off your knees and stop begging.

      • francessanne

        Reply Reply October 5, 2013

        oops, I meant DISRESPECTFUL for a woman NOT to be paying attention to the man in front of her…

  • rick

    Reply Reply September 25, 2013

    Women today should DRESS like WOMEN. the jeans, t-shirts etc..so tacky, I prefer a woman who likes a nice tailored suit with a frilly blouse under it, or a dress or skirt and bow blouse type of thing. Sophisticated women know this and dress the part, they feel more feminine when their clothes scream out, I’m a woman, not a man. Ive dated women who didn’t even own a pair of jeans or a sweatshirt. I loved just seeing her wash dishes or vacuum, a rare woman indeed but I admire their femininity. If I could find another woman as such, I’ll be sure to cherish her like never before.

    • Mona

      Reply Reply September 26, 2013

      So did the relationships with these wonderful women go beyond dating, and why did they end?

  • Alexi

    Reply Reply September 10, 2013

    Another example of female dress code, raising guilt in them, and pushing them into traditional female values. Catherine No Prenup Zeta Jones is the greatest gold-digger on the planet, and Kate Never Had A Job Middleton follows her closely. For me, Paris Hilton is more authentic, she does admit that she is famous for looking good and doing nothing. Amy Winehouse was known for being a great singer, instead of marrying “up”. Meryl Streep is classy indeed, I doubt that she would be happy with this company; aside from her looks, she managed to get two university degrees and she acts well. I am positive Glenn Close and Sigourney Weaver are not disappointed for missing this list.

  • Mona

    Reply Reply August 29, 2013

    I agree with at least 90% of what you write, not only in this article but generally. One thing I don’t k know whether I should let it make me laugh or frown is the fact that you give actresses or celebrities as role models or at least examples of feminine women. Everything we see and know about these women is fake, their movies anyway, and they have HIGHLY experienced coaches who tell them and practice with them how to talk, move etc. In interviews and other occasions. Trying to compare with them is both naive and unattainable and the contrary of being authentic and feminine in my opinion. They might be a good example in private, but we will never know because we will never meet them and they can be completely different personalities in private.
    However I love your page. X

  • Christine

    Reply Reply July 8, 2013

    I LOVE THIS! So many girls these days have no idea how to be classy and have fun. I’m reading an awesome book on how to be classy and I’ve actually added an online book club to my blog just to inspire more people to read this book… it’s amazing! If you’re interested in reading along and getting with the conversation, you can join us here: http://www.weartostandout.com/blog/how-to-be-a-hepburn-in-a-hilton-world-chapter-one and tell me what you think! xoxo, WearToStandOut

  • moya

    Reply Reply July 6, 2013

    Women are not a gift for men Women were there first. Men cannot bear children.Read end of first commandment I am the LOrd thy God…..and the voice of his mother could be heard in the realm above saying ‘do not lie IIedobaoth.”Very few people read this far in the commandment it means god was female.

  • Jacqueline Mae

    Reply Reply July 5, 2013

    What a great reminder…. Thanks Renee! :o)

  • ShebaBarb

    Reply Reply July 2, 2013

    Awesome post. I agree, It is well written. One point I would like to bring out is you may or may not have that husband or guy friend in your life but even so carry yourself as if you do and take care of your appearance for you so that when you meet him it is something you do for yourself. As far as weight, many of us do allow ourselves to get fat and out of shape and it is not healthy nor attractive. It is what it is and changing the words doesn’t minimize the reality of it.

  • Holly

    Reply Reply June 29, 2013

    Aww, that’s nice :-), the list of classy women and then at the end “you”.

    I found this read to be very enlightening :-D

    How do I feel now I’ve just read this? VERY happy!

    The feminine women blog is truly a place of safety and beauty with combined energies working in force. Theirs something VERY special about this blog. I’m sure the masculine and feminine energy combined is one of the key ingredients.

    And “not to spoil the end but everything’s going to be ok”.

    I know that and feel safe and enough within and will no longer be scrutinizing my apperance as I try my best.

    Well today is Sunday which is a day I work on the mental aspects of myself. Today after reading this , I’ve now decided that it’s a good time to define some boundaries/guidelines over who and what I shall become , what I should and shouldn’t accept in life.

    I will defently be working on my posture too, thanks for the insight.

    • Holly

      Reply Reply June 29, 2013

      :-), also I would like to add that I’ve made the decision that I’m enough and have been pointlessly been beating myself up for being less than perfect.

      P. S I know what career path to take for certain now and that is to work with children with learning difficulties as they are the ones most in need of care and understanding.

  • Jayne Mpete

    Reply Reply April 6, 2013

    Powerful, I am a woman because of a woman. As women let us not forget the roots, lets stop being selfish and help each other to be classy, we leaving in a society where we’ve freedom to think and act lets stop being negative, this world has you & I as classy lets carry ourselves there… Women.

  • Paul M.

    Reply Reply March 1, 2013

    Unreal. It goes to show how much our value system has deteriorated when you look at the women you’ve listed as “classy”. None of them – not one – could stand in the shoes of really classy ladies like Jaqueline Kennedy, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn nor could any match the class and poise of some of the really classy women who have excelled in business, media or politics/philanthropy like Ginni Romettiy (CEO of IBM), Elizabeth Dole, Ellen Kullman (CEO Dupont), Ursula Burns (CEO Xerox), Fredrika Watson (CNN), Natalie Morales (NBC Journalist), I could go on. The horrible message you’re sending with this list is that “classy” equates to “celebrity” and “beauty”…it most assuredly does not.

    • Bambino

      Reply Reply June 13, 2013

      Paul M. The average woman as no clue who those execs are. However we can identify with the celebrities mentioned above. Now while they may not have the careers as the women you’ve listed whom I’m sure are classy, they are still classy. Many women of the 80′s and 90′s cannot relate to Audrey Hepburn and all those other women you mentioned.

      My two cents and I’m a woman.

      • Nana

        Reply Reply June 14, 2013

        Mmm actually I think that being classy also means having a culture. So, I speak for women of the rich countries having access to information : they should know at least some of the women mentioned by Paul.
        Of course, you can come from a little village lost in India, having no culture and still being classy, but if you live in America, France or Australia, are at least 18 yo, have gone to school, have access to books/newspapers/TV and/or Internet, and you don’t have a clue of who Audrey Hepburn or Jackie Kennedy are, there is really a problem with your interest about the world and it gives you definately an un-classy’s aura ^^
        But anyway I agree that Renee was right to mention women from nowadays.

  • Nana

    Reply Reply November 9, 2012

    I just love your articles but something hurts me in some of them.
    In one of them, about being picky with our girlfriends I read “Yes, this also means that if you hang around overweight, unfit people, eventually, you will become overweight and unfit, too.” Like it’s something bad being overweight.
    And in this article above, you talk about women who are getting fat, like they start value themselves less. Well, actually I think this is these kind of phrases that make them feel this way. The fact is, the more a woman grows in age, the more she gets fat, it’s a biologic reality, it’s normal, it’s about fertility, it’s also what makes her a woman and not a man. Curves, chubby bellies and arms are invitations to caresses.
    Of course I don’t talk about women suffering of a kind of depression or anything else that could get them so fat that it’s really dangerous for their healths and that they lose freedom in the way they move. But being overweight is not always a problem, far from that. On the contrary, trying to control our weight by thinking all the time about what we eat and how we do exercise is a problem. Because using strict control on our bodies and appearances, at the point to not respect our nature (because most of women are programmed to get curves, fat in bum and get cellulite!) first is shallow and second is not celebrating our feminity but celebrating the power of fashion diktats (made by fashion designers often gays so who obviously don’t love women bodies but prefer men one’s) and the everlasting idea that a woman has to fit with a certain image, like she’s an object. And the more the world prevents her from being the way it wants her to be, the more she has to be, to show how much control she has and then, how she’s worthy! This is a horrible and unfair pressure. In our society where we have a profusion of food and our jobs lead us in a very sedentary life, we have to fight that to get the bodies of women living in countries with poor food and having a very active life. How unatural is it ! Of course it’s important to feel dynamic and well, to eat and exercise well, but most of women are still not thin as it’s not how they’re programmed. So they just don’t eat and exercise well anymore but go into diets and other restrictive behaviors to finally get the thin body the society asks them to get (and let me say that it’s definitely not a feminine behavior as strong control is more a masculine “quality”). This is what is sad, this is the first attempt to feminity, this is the first point that goes against feminine acceptance. Conformation of the bodies is the first and biggest step to the conformation of minds. It’s good to be skinny, it’s good to be thin, it’s good to be overweight, and it’s good to be fat, as long as it’s how you’re programmed genetically and as long as you’re in good health. And for this last point, many many overweight women are way more in better health than thin women…So please Renée, keep going with you’re so smart thoughts and articles but stop spreading the idea through your articles by little touches, that being overweight is a problem…:)

    • Angela

      Reply Reply January 25, 2013

      Nana,
      I think she was just trying to make the point about some women “letting themselves go”. Being overweight might be a natural SET POINT for some women (the smallest I can get when exercising and eating well is a 12), but becoming flat-out FAT is natural for VERY few!!! I think the point is to take care of oneself in every way–spirit, mind, body. I can understand where you’re coming from, but when a woman is overweight for HER, she is not being true to herself. She has stopped trying. I’m naturally a size 12, if I get to size 20 I have obviously stopped taking proper care of myself. There isn’t much attractive about a woman who will not care for herself. How can she care for others if she’s not emotionally, spiritually or physically well?

    • Dr.Nash

      Reply Reply January 30, 2013

      I’m not saying dislike someone for a weight problem that not only hurtful, disrespectful, but also immature. Weight is naturally gained throughout our lives, and not only is it perfectly health, but it’s also expected. As a health professional however, I suggest it be acknowledges that obesity is an eating disorder and a real problem facing westernized society today. There is all ways a need for balance. This stated, a woman’s actions are what makes her not only classy but also a role model and is not determined by the bathroom scales.

  • Bea

    Reply Reply September 19, 2012

    Hello there. It is amazing to me how after reading this article people can sit and call another person trash. Why belittle someone? Plus it’ s quite bizarre how no one has any issues with the list of classy women except for the only African American on there. And to say she is rude and bossy? What gives you the notion that any of the other women are neither ofmthose things? Classy is thinking before we speak or post

  • Jency Varghese

    Reply Reply July 24, 2012

    As it is good to listen to others and be considerate, it is equally good to sometimes put your foot firm on the ground and not be considerate. One thing that needs to be cleared when doing the lateral is, you should let the listener know why you are behaving the way you behave and what is it that matters and concerns youYou should also make it a point to ask them if there is by any chance that you have misunderstood what they said.

  • Janja

    Reply Reply May 5, 2012

    On my opinon, a classy woman is ALLWAYS born and not made. A woman should have an inner drive to be classy, distinguished, better. Everything must come from inside, from the deep fountain. Sometimes it is in genes, sometimes it is the personality (but born). When a classy woman find herself in the bad situations, she will lower her degree. She will be unhappy and act as non-classy, because the circumstances are like this. But at the end – she will survive and find herself in ever better position. Because this is all about – it’s an inner drive. Man cannot be a cat if he/she is a rat. All other advices are in vane.

  • Madchen Wellschoen

    Reply Reply March 27, 2012

    I appreciate what you are going for here, but when your list of ‘classy’ role models contains only one woman who isn’t an actress or musician, it speaks of a rather limited set of criteria. How about listing some successful and attractive women who have actually made a lasting contribution to this world instead of just being genetically gifted? (M. Obama is a good start)

  • Deborah Tyrrell

    Reply Reply February 20, 2012

    Classy is knowing that you were created in the image of the Creator! When your identity is in Him it shows!

    • rsglvz

      Reply Reply March 12, 2013

      Amen!

  • Rachel

    Reply Reply November 15, 2011

    Also, adding to the list. I think Lena Horne, Sade, Vanessa Williams and Aishwaraya Rai are the epitome of class.

  • Rachel

    Reply Reply November 15, 2011

    I am described as a very classy woman, however, it seems that this is counterproductive in meeting men as they want women who carry themselves loosely. I’m always looked over for women in tight, revealing clothing, exaggerated Jessica Rabbit walk and overtly sexual.

    It seems that classy women are not appreciated anymore.

    • Renico

      Reply Reply December 5, 2012

      Indeed it SEEMS like that and you know why? Because classy women are only appreciated by classy men/people. And there is just a very little amount of them out there. And its only THEM who you really want to attract, right? The majority of people doesnt have class or is just mediocre. The classy people are truly hard to find. So don’t change yourself and be patient. Wait for the few classy people! It means that you will have less people around you but its the quality that counts, NOT the quantity.

  • jj

    Reply Reply November 13, 2011

    Few women are classy. It’s not easy to achieve, but well worth the effort.

  • tanya

    Reply Reply October 16, 2011

    I believe God is preparing me for the right man!!! I’m so glad I found this site and its a must need. So many things I need to change, I’m not ghetto but I definitely need to grow

  • Hanna

    Reply Reply September 17, 2011

    My god, this was soo inspiring, Thank you so much for sharing, really wow!

  • mimi

    Reply Reply September 11, 2011

    Thank you for the wonderful article!! Really inspiring. :)

  • monicarobinson2

    Reply Reply August 24, 2011

    I stumbled on this article and found it muy interesante!

  • Linda Jensen

    Reply Reply July 14, 2011

    I always knew I was that something special…..A Classy Lady

  • Liza

    Reply Reply April 8, 2011

    Renee, you have some of the best articles and advice on all of the internet. Kudos for another point on article.

  • Gaily

    Reply Reply February 7, 2011

    Hi Renee, I just recently found this site and I’ve learned so much from it! Thank you for taking the time for writing these wonderful articles. It makes me so happy that there’s someone like you out there. You’re truly a beautiful woman and I admire you a lot. :’)

    • Renee

      Reply Reply February 7, 2011

      Hey Gaily! (Beautiful name)
      Thank You for your kindness! And I admire YOU for reaching out.
      -XxX-

  • female intuition

    Reply Reply February 5, 2011

    keys to being a classy woman,,is BEING YOURSELF! without toxic people near you,getting better and NOT BITTER,,knowing what u are as a woman,,knowing happiness lies within ur self,,and not a man,,or a baby! dropping emotional baggage,learning how to move on past old hurts,,u will never forget,,but if u forget to think with ur brain instead of ur heart then maybee ya may have a tough time being a classy lady.

    • butterflyuncaterpilla

      Reply Reply April 6, 2012

      *speech !*

  • Emily

    Reply Reply February 2, 2011

    I have read a few articles here after discovering the site a couple of hours ago. I do find it really very insulting though, that you claim a woman should have long hair. I am 20, and had long hair for most of my life, but in the last 3 I have had it cut very short, and even shaved at some points in time. Guys tell me they love my short hair, and that they find it very attractive.

    I view myself as an intelligent, attractive, confident young woman, and I have nothing to hide from the world. I am proud of who I am. And I don’t need long hair to be a lady.

    • Renee

      Reply Reply February 2, 2011

      Hey Emily,

      Thanks for your comment. Indeed, you don’t need long hair to be a lady. Or to be feminine. See my post ‘what is femininity’ where I address this.
      I believe you have misinterpreted my point. I never said a woman SHOULD have long hair. In fact, in the list of classy women, I include Natalie Portman who has had her head shaved at some point in her acting career, and she was still very much a lady.
      My point was about women losing value for themselves – “a short style that their husband hates”. Some women simply stop caring about being attractive (some perhaps feel there’s no point, they lose interest in life, etc). They stop caring about what their husband likes, etc. It’s not about the shortness, but the reason it’s cut. A lot of women fall for this idea perpetrated by the Feminist camp saying that they can’t have long hair after 40.
      Some women are very attractive with short hair. Audrey Hepburn even had her gorgeous short style, which looked fabulous.
      Whatever makes a woman feel attractive and feminine (if she naturally prefers to carry feminine energy, which is most women).

  • Anne1

    Reply Reply January 8, 2011

    I just found your blog and wanted to give a big thank you for this post Renee. In the modern world this blog is truly a breath of fresh air.

  • andre

    Reply Reply December 29, 2010

    Ladies,

    This post is interesting, but…

    It’s missing a few items: classy women, if there is such a thing, know themselves. I do not refer to book knowledge now, I refer to self-knowledge. A woman without the knowledge of self does not really have a basis for action.(Think about it for a moment). Second, classy types know something about the world, for example Narcissism, what it means, its dangers and what this blog seems to be really about, for the most part. That is my humble opinion of course, and a man’s to boot. I may be wrong, but what do you girls think?

    • Liza

      Reply Reply April 8, 2011

      I do believe you are right. A “classy” woman isn’t interested in what her class is. She knows herself, sets her boundaries for herself, and yet allows others to be who they are without ridicule from her. She sees the realities without looking down on others but judges her own behaviors only. Just my thought.

  • Rebecca

    Reply Reply December 27, 2010

    Thank you so much for your post Renee, I especially appreciated your thoughts on authenticity. It’s so funny, just over Christmas some girlfriends and I were sharing on this exact topic of authenticity. I think you really are onto something in noting how much people want to see authentic people.

    I hope you and the community here don’t mind, but, one of my friends sent me a link to a talk done regarding shame and authenticity in women. It’s very good, it’s not my web site, but, it impacted the three of us a great deal, and it seems so on topic that I thought I would post it here in my comment; anyone can view it at the TED archives, a free educational video web site. Dr. Brene Brown is a social worker in the U.S. http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

  • VolleyGirl

    Reply Reply November 26, 2010

    Classy = reputation, elegance, poise, intelligence, adaptability, self – respect among other things. Nowadays it’s hard to see classy women.

    • Harry

      Reply Reply March 6, 2011

      Hate to intrude, but when it comes to reputation there are plenty of trashy women who are only too ready to form an instant coven from which they will do and say anything they can, backing one another up in the process, to trash someone else they see as being on, you might say, a higher plane. And they are as likely as not to do this selectively, like jackals feeding on gazelles.

  • Uschi

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Michelle Obama is NOT A CLASSY WOMAN. She is TRASH.

    • Sachmet

      Reply Reply November 23, 2010

      Hi Uschi,

      could you expand a bit on this rather harsh assessment? I do not know if Michelle Obama is classy but if she were trash, I think her husband would not have been elected president.

      • Klo

        Reply Reply February 6, 2011

        In my opinion I think she looks and carries herself as classy, but however I think her action speak louder than worlds. How are you going to be the first lady and put down the country you live in? I have always been proud of my country, and that’s classy!

    • Kaikou

      Reply Reply November 26, 2010

      I like how instantly someone comes and counters the very essence of this post. Calling anyone trash is not classy, especially online via anonymous forum – nothing but cowardly.

      • Anne1

        Reply Reply January 8, 2011

        ITA with you Kaikou. But rather than engage, it’s best to respond with kind demonstrations of class.

    • Chulito

      Reply Reply March 31, 2011

      People tend to idolize the image of a person therefore finding it hard to discern who they truly are. Uschi has it right! Michelle Obama, regardless who she is or represents, is not a classy lady. She demonstrates class for the camera sake, but off camera her true character is bossy, commanding, rude, hateful and discriminatory toward white people [more so before husband was elected to office]. Jackie Kennedy should be on the list. Joyce Meyers also. Classy is being knowledgeable about truths and being truthful. Ignorance is not classy. Living with your head in the sand is not classy. This remark goes for those who refuted Uschi’s comment.

    • Liza

      Reply Reply April 8, 2011

      I believe this can be a lesson on what a classy would not say. It shows disrespect and is the opposite of what “class” really is.

    • Bea

      Reply Reply September 19, 2012

      Interesting. She is the only African American on the list. Could that be why?

      • Rochelle

        Reply Reply September 20, 2012

        The bias is could be politically or racially driven, because I am too I am wondering how some people are so positive about how Michelle Obama is off camera, and not the rest on the list., when they never met her. Either way she does come of as a very confident and classy woman to me. And it looks like she has really supported and nurtured her husband in growing and vice versa.

  • Masaleen

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Great post! I really love the part about valuing yourself, and knowing your importance. I know I need to work on this! And the example of visualizing yourself suddenly on the red carpet…how many of us would really feel comfortable or excited there? That we would feel we’re as valuable as those surrounding us? Not many…and yet, we all should.

    Thank you for another thoughtful and enlightening post, Renee!

  • Manda

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    I think humility in everyday life is a major part of being classy. Not just dressing modestly, but acting modest and not feeling the need to boast about your accomplishments or go around telling people how “hot” someone said you were. Actions speak louder than words and if you are a high-quality woman, people will be able to tell by your actions and you won’t need to go around telling people how amazing you are (nor will you feel the need to).

    I am so glad you mentioned authenticity because it seems in most cases when we are given advice on how to be classy, part of that includes always “keeping your cool.” But like you said, most of us are drawn to people who are genuine, and being able to express our emotions in healthy ways is a key part of being feminine. Not to mention, I think guys secretly love it when we express emotions that might be considered “silly” because it brings out their protective instincts ;)

  • May

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Fantastic ideas ladies! Someone once said that to be a noble man, you need to treat a servant like a prince and a prince like a servant. This probably refers to women as well!!!

  • maggiet

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    In my view being classy is about making people feel comfortable around you whether you go up or down on the social ladder you must make people feel good about themselves. If you look down on people they will feel awful about themselves and that is not the behaviour of a classy woman. The clothes and posture are important but the attitude is everything. This is really a question of developing a caring and empathetic personality. Silp has hit the nail on the head when she says that nobility is lies in the way you treat other people.
    Money cannot buy this nor can background as you so rightly pointed out. We can all be the classy woman if we just learn to put ourselves in other peoples shoes and show concern and interest authentically.

  • Ruthie

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Thanks for the nice post.
    I have learnt how to pose as part of being classy.
    Keep up the good work.

  • Silp

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Classy to me also includes the way you treat other people something you touched upon. People who may not necessarily be trashy, but poorer, less confident, less sophisticated etc.

    Somebody said nobility lies in the way you treat other people and this to me rings true.

    And of course, unclassy is certainly the inherint negative attitude that some people have to life.

  • Tope

    Reply Reply November 22, 2010

    Hi Renee

    Thanks so much for this post. it is packaged with lots of powerful insights and just reading through addresses a core desire in me to be classy.

    Thanks i treasure this article so much. Keep up the good work.

    Wishing you all a nice vacation.

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