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Article updated 2018

According to this trashy video, I ought to be worried about a half-naked Angelina Jolie in the shower with my man, whilst filming a scene of a movie.

Clue: the point is not about her being naked in the shower with Johnny Depp (or your man). The point is the message they are sending:

“you should be worried about this ‘super-human’ woman when she’s around your man. Because, you know, feeling scared and feeling bad about yourself is….well, good. (Good for us anyway).”

“You should be insecure in your relationship.”

This may seem extreme, but this is what women are letting themselves be subjected to every. single. day.

Watch for the underlying message. Or don’t read or listen at all. They don’t deserve your attention. (Click here to take the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

It might be a facebook add encouraging you to get lip enhancements because, God Forbid, your lips just aren’t “full” enough. It could be a report about how all famous and successful men are unfaithful.

Or it might be a news report about how so-and-so failed miserably at something important.

Never mind the success stories (there is a tonne of them by the way). They are not spoken about. And they wouldn’t report it. Because that might just make you too happy, and give you too much power and inspiration.

Keeping you under control serves them better. (read my article about how to stop worrying about what other people think)

What goes in (input) = message

In other words, what you let go into your mind = the message you are sending to your brain, your nervous system, and your habitual thinking patterns.

What you let come into your mind affects you more than you realize.

If you don’t believe me, observe a 7-year-old child after she watches a show like Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers Show.

And then observe her behavior after watching a show like Tom and Jerry.

And keep in mind: many parents actually limit their children’s intake of trashy tv and media. However, most adults don’t even bother limiting the messages that come into themselves. You are being affected just as much as that child. Unless you make a conscious choice not to.

Who knows, such messages that come into your brain repetitively could cause the disintegration of relationships or friendships that matter to you. It eats away at your sense of confidence. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Reasons to feel bad everywhere, every day

The above video is no different to an article proclaiming Megan Fox’s superiority, or a video worshipping Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr’s beauty, that should make every woman bow their head and feel humbled, or less beautiful.

They want you to buy into the ‘they are super and I am a nobody’ message.

If you are confident, these statements shouldn’t even bother you, but the point is about the subconscious messages that are out there everywhere, whether it be on television or in a magazine. You should at least be aware of how it might affect the people around you.

Now, more than ever, every single one of us, men or women, have a multitude of reasons to feel insignificant, inferior, and like we aren’t beautiful enough, or at least, not without makeup!

Gee. I mean, how could you walk out of the house without makeup? You lazy woman!

This is L’oreal talking. Not you.

(There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…)

Who has the right to influence you?

One question: who are “they” to tell you, or influence you to feel like crap about yourself?

Who on earth has the right to do that?

Nobody, of course.

You were born beautiful. You were born enough. Period.

Angelina Jolie is Angelina Jolie. So? She’s only superior to us if we let her be.

I get emails from women detailing their problems with jealousy, their crippling fear around other beautiful women, and they feel far less successful than a stranger they don’t even know in Hollywood. (read my article about how to be a goddess)

The mess that is projected on to us

It’s so easy to succumb to this mess. And that’s what it is: a sick and twisted mess, designed to sap you of your confidence, your genius, your radiance and your immovable sense of pride.

And don’t tell me you don’t have any of that, because you do. It may just be buried.

Now, this is nothing personal to Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox, or any other famous woman I have mentioned. Each of them deserves to shine, they are indeed beautiful and I am sure they are good people.

However, this is not about that. This is about an epidemic of unnecessary fear – that is plaguing women, perpetuated by sources that don’t care, causing women to obsess over things that don’t serve them, and to sabotage their relationships, partly because of the influence of some trashy, mediocre viewpoint expressed in a “beauty” or gossip magazine.

(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)

Why are women addicted to this gossip and media?

So, if this is so bad for us, why do we keep going back to it? Why do we let ourselves live in fear? Why do we let ourselves (shamefully) diminish our own sense of self-worth, with the help of a bunch of corporates who wouldn’t care if we lived or died?

The answer is: fear.

Fear is in us for a reason. Over millions of years, we have evolved from less sophisticated creatures (reptiles), to become who we are today. As we have evolved, we have developed new layers of the brain on top of the most primal part of our brains – the part which psychologists call the “lizard brain”. The lizard brain is the part of us that is there for our survival. It helps us stay alive so that we can have babies and propagate the species. Survival is the main point to this part of our brain.

This part of our brain LOVES the gossip and drama that the magazines deliver to us, and this part of our brain LOVES fear. Why? Because this part of our brain tells us that fear is there to protect us. And we are being exploited by our culture to believe that we should feel fearful, not just when we truly should, but every minute of the day!

This part of our brain, and the obsession it has with fear, is so powerful that given the right external stimuli (such as above trashy video), it will convince us that we are in fact, right to give in to fear not just when we should, but every single minute of the day, and with every other beautiful woman that comes in to our sphere.

The media idolizes beautiful people, such as Angelina Jolie, or Salma Hayek or Halle Berry, not because they are better than you, but because the media knows that it feeds us. If they encourage us to let our own fears control us, then they have succeeded, because if our fears make us feel protected and “in the know” (laughable!), then who are we going to go back to to keep feeding that fear, to get the drama and entertainment, and to “protect ourselves”?

I’m glad you asked.

Why, the media of course!

It will sure take care of us and let us know which woman we ought to prepare to fight off our man!

The trap: sometimes, for example if you are about to get assaulted or raped, your fear may serve you, but the fear you are being subjected to (or CHOOSE to be subjected to), by advertising for large corporations who care little about anything but getting you to invest your need for drama and fear-feeding in them.

A suggestion: choose to get hooked by sources that matter. Sources that tell the truth, and clear your mind of trash. Sources that show you who you really are, and what your potential really is, rather than showing you nothing but your gravest fears.

Your outer beauty and your image are important. You should aim to look and feel your best, but this is a whole different message: “you should feel like crap next to Angelina Jolie”.

Do you often feel insecure? Do you fear losing your man?

If you do, it’s not the real you talking. It’s the media, the news, whatever.

Here are some suggestions to not get trapped like most women, and to start living a happy, meaningful life:

1) Consciously make sure your thought process (and what influences your thought process) is best suited to putting you in a great mental and emotional state.

2) Stop feeding your addiction to feeling bad, or to knowing every piece of gossip: turn the TV off and go for a run. Listen to an uplifting audio, or dance to an uplifting beat.

3) Find and continue to follow sources that are inspiring. Take a look at these sources:

Follow The Feminine Woman on Facebook

Crazy sexy Life

Makes Me Think

Think Simple Now

The Positivity blog

Consciously infiltrate your mind with messages that show you your worth, rather than diminishing it.

And always remember: your attention must be earned.

Most media, news or radio platforms simply have not earned it.

If you liked this article, please ‘like’ it on Facebook or share it with your friends. Thank You. 🙂

By the way, there are specific triggers men’s attraction. Click here to learn about the 17 Attraction Triggers.

Do share any thoughts you have on this issue, and please do share your thoughts on the news media and the messages thrown at women today. I look forward to hearing from you. 🙂

(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)

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P.S. Connect with me on social media!

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Tanya Rachel WieczorekpariyaHollyMonatrish Recent comment authors
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pariya
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pariya

Hi Renee
It was really inspiring and true.I appreciate you for this great post.
Even though I’m not a western girl,I admit the influence of such western advertisements.And I thank you for making us aware and teaching us not to accept this influence.:*

Holly
Guest
Holly

Bam!! And that’s the reason for your success 🙂 It’s clear to see hear that this article has been written with intelligence and an independent mind. I love the way you are empowering women and promoting them to be their best and not to feel inferior of women that hardly exsist on this planet. It sounds very free masonary what the media are pumping into society’s mind and dangerous for mental health. The fear thing that’s described on hear sounds very paradoxical, the fact that we feed on the fear to protect oursels. I have been through this experience but… Read more »

Mona
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Mona

So true, this article.
But I have one – and it’s the only one, everything else is great – little piece of criticism about your page. You are using the very images of women you criticize here, young, skinny women. There is no variety in shape, size and age. That’s the ONLY thing that could be improved about this page.

Mona
Guest
Mona

I have to correct myself, you are not criticizing the women themselves, but how their images are being produced and used to instill fear in us.

trish
Guest
trish

It is all to make money in the end, they are selling their look. They want you to buy make up, get your hair done, all down to money. They use out negative feelings to make us try to look better, to be someone we are not. Those actresses look the same as us without the make up and styling by professionals. It does insecure women good to see those women with out all the trimmings. It is all a mask for what is underneath. They have to put on a face for the rest of the world, and they… Read more »

alexia
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alexia

Are there more websites like this, I been searching but I haven’t found anything close to as good as this website. I read all the articles and I love it but I need more help in the feminine department. I been raised as a boy and I don’t like the way I am. As a girl I wanted to be a dancer, to be a cheerleader, to play with barbies, to wear dresses, to sing, to write, to have long hair, and my favorite color was pink. My parents, especially my mother HATED all these things about me and punished… Read more »

trish
Guest
trish

I have seen many women who have good style and class, they are the ones i emulate. It does not cost much, they are very select and they know how to spend their money without losing out on quality, some of the lower priced clothing looks much better and it is more durable. Colour your hair the way you want it, wear it the length you want it, choose your jewellery to match your outfit. Women have far more choice now, and some of lower priced things look the part and the quality is good. Being feminine is not a… Read more »

T-Bear1981
Guest
T-Bear1981

Oh, how I yearn to meet a woman, that’s herself, natural and without the “war paint”. Most of the ladies at work are really hard to connect with, game-face on constantly, wannabe barbies(some at least). Even outside the job, in the coffee bar or just hanging out or having fun(trying to), it’s like talking to a robot or a facade most of the time. I admit though, they are strong and independent, and yet so, I don’t know how to explain it, unappealing as a potential mate/partner, does that make any sense at all? I do see them laugh once… Read more »

JP
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JP

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your post is very insightful. As a woman its good to know that we don’t have to try to be perfect for a man to want us. Just being ourselves (real & authentic)and enjoying who we are is enough. I think we all want someone who is real and with whom we can be ourselves. I hope you find that person for you.

T-Bear1981
Guest
T-Bear1981

Thanks JP I was just trying to be as honest as I could be or as my maleness allowed me to :P. The make-up can really bother me, I mean mascara and some light powder thingie is fine, but those who look like a chemical factory, really is a man-repellent in my case :p I actually more or less dropped in by accident, trying to find out it was getting abnormal, cause lately my “drive” has been working overtime, and I mean several times a day thinking about stuff that has nothing to do AT ALL with work :p. So… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

Aww T-Bear…can come to my house. We’re all goofy with laughter here lol. In all seriousness keep your chin up. You WILL find what you’re looking for. 🙂

T-Bear1981
Guest
T-Bear1981

I try! I really do.
I bet there are tons of goofy and playful women including many around here I guess. My main time evolves around work and just being with the guys and “casual relationships”. But it’s becoming blatantly apparent that it doesn’t really satisfy a set of needs that I can’t really define or describe very well just yet.

T-Bear

mary89
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mary89

Your taste in women is interesting. Glad to know that you want a normal woman who is comfortable with her sexuality & behaves in a natural way…… a cheerful woman who has no problem shoins her emotions & real self. Unfortunately a lot of men I know prefer those women with lots of make up , plastic surgury & fake smiles & behaviour.

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
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Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

T-Bear I know your post are 4 years old but I just had to say, you sound like a very sweet guy. I hope you’ve found your dreamgirl by now! If not do you live anywhere near S. Ontario? {grin} My idea of putting make-up on consists of applying lip gloss LOL

Michael D. Denny
Guest
Michael D. Denny

Ladies: As a very heterosexual, unwed Man actively in the “dating scene”, I can honestly say Angelina Jolie is NOT particularly attractive. Something else for you ladies to keep in mind when you see these things, is just WHAT is being soled, and to WHOM they are trying to sell it. While some Men may have that inclination, most of us do NOT find the emaciated, frail physical type of the Angelina Jolie’s of the world particularly attractive at all. While she is a “pretty” girl, that is about as far as I can go with it and find her… Read more »

Cara
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Cara

Thank you very much, Renee. Especially for the websites. They are wonderful and I’m glad you’ve led me to more sources of positivity in the day! (There can never be enough.) 🙂

Renee
Guest
Renee

Oh you are so welcome! Thank You for reading. 🙂

Helena
Guest
Helena

I love what you have written:) It’s sad to see all the companies that extract the self-confidence out of us to get our money – and almost all women react to that and decide to better be somebody else.

trish
Guest
trish

I have seen those people who run those companies, they are far from what they are selling. Most of them are older, not wearing anything they are selling and their clothes are awful. It is the same with the fancy cars, the ones who build them do not reflect the cars they build. The image is everything, it sells, and women who are insecure can fall for the marketing in magazines and on TV. Watch the ones who sell goods to make you look and feel better, most of them are overweight and far from fit. It is marketing and… Read more »

JP
Guest
JP

What’s funny is that in some of the gossip mags they run stories about how insecure Angelina is about losing Brad. So I guess even she isn’t immune to it. We are all human. I think mainly why Johnny Depps wife would be concerned (and most women would) was bc of Angie’s past behavior not so much her looks… and the scene itself well it would be pretty difficult for any wife to let her husband take a steamy shower with another woman. I think it’s best to avoid situations where temptation may arise. However, Johnny is an actor and… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

Hi JP, regarding the statment about people reacting a certain way to Jolie because of her history…I can’t help but have some pretty strong thoughts on this. I think you are right that it is probably true that people would view AJ in this way. However, I want to acknowledge there are lots of people who don’t either. I just don’t at all see Jolie in the light that the media and parts of the public tend to accuse her of. The tabloids have been reporting on schisms between Brad and Jen’s marriage a couple years before Jolie even came… Read more »

jasmin
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jasmin

@ asma

I have to ask why you spend so much time thinking about and analyzing celebrities that you don’t know.I have no lessons to learn from these people. They haven’t cured cancer or won the Nobel Prize.They just make MOVIES.

Asma
Guest
Asma

Hi jasmin, I don’t spend that much time thinking about celebrities. I was only making a point with my thread that instead of labeling people as a this or a that, maybe we can just understand circumstances and know that we are all human and learn from one another and see the best in one another. That’s all. The only reason why my last post said what it did was because the subject matter was Angelina Jolie’s track record according to some people as “man stealing” so I was speaking on the basis of that. It can pertain to anyone… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

In a nutshell, my post was not about looking up to “celebrities” per say, but to illustrate that we’re all human, doing the best we can and maybe give one another the benefit of the doubt be it celebrities or our next door neighbor. Can we, as Marie Forleo says “update our mental software” regarding this particular topic of fearing other women stealing our man? I’ll shut up now lol. 🙂

JP
Guest
JP

Asma: I understand what you’re saying, and I didn’t mean to paint Angelina as a temptress. I just meant that she got involved with a married man on the set of a movie. Johnny’s wife is probably threatened more bc of that fact than bc Angie is so hot. I don’t care if Brad & Angie were meant to be and it was written in the stars… what they did was wrong, simply bc he was married. I didn’t mean she set out to steal him away, but that they both crossed a line knowing that he was married. She… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

Hi JP, I do agree with you in the general sense that it’s wrong when someone is married to get involved regardless. I just don’t necessarily agree with the fact that just because it happened with Brad it could happen with Johnny too. Audrey Hepburn also had an affair with William Holden while he was married that started on the set of “Sabrina” and she is touted as one of the world’s most classy humanitarians (which she was). I did not hear anymore stories that it happened with other married men. Same thing with Katherine Hepburn. She was involved with… Read more »

JP
Guest
JP

Yes I do know what you mean. I think it’s just because there is a reason to doubt… (the well it’s happened before reason) and because every woman finds her man to be desirable and worthy of love so why wouldn’t other women see him that way. I don’t think the fact that he is married is what Johnny’s wife thinks will draw Angie to him, but the fact that Angie might find him to be just as desirable as she does. That’s just me trying to see it from Johnny’s wife’s point of view… From my point of view,… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

I gotcha JP. I don’t blame Johnny’s partner for thinking he’s as desirableas she does LOL. Thanks for understanding. You take care too. 🙂

V
Guest
V

Hello Renee

Thanks for posting this article. Honestly, I’m having this kind of ” fear “. I feel jealous when I’m standing next to pretty girls. Now, I’m kinda relieved. At least, I’m beautiful without make up. Ah huh~

Renee
Guest
Renee

🙂 you are lovely, V. Thank You for leaving your mark and for sharing. xo

trish
Guest
trish

You see those women as pretty or beautiful, do you ever wonder if they see you the same way? Do you ever wonder why someone is looking at you? You might take it the wrong way, but i have seen women getting the adoring looks and they were unaware of it. My daughter got those looks and misinterpreted them or thought they were looking behind her. I think we look in the wrong directions at times and we miss things. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just like flowers, we all have different tastes. I like sunflowers, but… Read more »

VolleyGirl
Guest
VolleyGirl

So true Renee!! This is for sure one of my favourite posts!! I am sick and tired of looking into magazines and seeing people saying that we are not good enough , we are not tall enough, skinny enough, smart enough, blond enough, rich enough… ENOUGH IS ENOUGH… I used to think that I wasn’t good enough when I would read gossip magazines and see how skinny the models are … and thinking ” what have I done to deserves this?? ” why I am not like them?” ” why am I cursed with curly hair”. I would even starve… Read more »

Yas
Guest
Yas

Amazing stuff Renee. This is what all women need to hear!! Love your work girl!

Luci
Guest
Luci

It’s just a media fabricated illusion about their superiority, nothing more…
What a great article, it’s really perfect and you expressed it so well!

Renee
Guest
Renee

Oh Luci Luci! I wondered where you have been, as I have not heard from you in ages. Thanks, I know you like the topics regarding media-created ideas. Take care. xoxo

S. .D
Guest
S. .D

My Dear Renee:

I could carelss about Angie. That type of stuff doesn’t bother me. Angie has her own set of issues.

Denise
Guest
Denise

Dear Renee:

You are as always right on target. I just wanted to share something I read the other day…

“If you were born an original…Why do you want to die a copy?”

We are all unique, we shouldn’t forget that. I admire woman that take care of their looks, and are “coquette” enough to flaunt their uniqueness. I feel that we can get “inspired” yes…but a copy…never!
Best regards to all the beautiful, unique ladies!

Renee
Guest
Renee

Hey Denise 🙂

I love that quote, thanks for taking the time to share it.

-XxX-

trish
Guest
trish

Thank you, we needed to hear that.

Asma
Guest
Asma

I just managed to watch the video. That was dumb. But you know? Frankly I think that we women also need to take responsibility for how we respond to things too. So because of what happened with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, every actor’s girl is going to be afraid if they have a passionate scene with her? I’m sorry but that seems a little silly to me. This one woman is not out to get every “taken” man out there on the planet ladies. Gimme a break. Last time I checked, she is in a very happy relationship of… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

Awesome article! Thank you, Renee! This is a tough one and I am so glad for the sources you provided. In the past three years I can safely say that I don’t get too negative about myself when I look at this stuff anymore. I get more inspired like “Oooh look at Angelina Jolie she looks gorgeous. I wanna do that thing with her hair and buy a flower so I can look and feel good too” or something like that. But, there was a time where I did not see myself that way at all and felt quite inferior… Read more »

Renee
Guest
Renee

Thank You Asma. I love to see other women sharing my vision.

You are doing what many wouldn’t in consciously choosing what comes in. Yes, facebook can be bad at times, too – but that’s why I do the same with my facebook page.

I fan people and organisations who want to see the world change (like the dalai lama and Anthony Robbins), and I block off any outrageously negative updates.

As women, our attention must be earned, not just given.

xoxo

Asma
Guest
Asma

Hi Renee, sorry for the late reply. Thank you for the encouragement there. I agree it is what you yourself do with things like facebook and stuff that makes a difference. You like, befriend, and share lots of positive things and use it as a tool to spread good. I did not have more than fifty or so friends and most of them I knew intimately. I always posted posts that were about sharing good adult conversation like my teaching experiences, asking questions to learn, politics and sharing knowledge and stimulate thought and conversation that tends to normally not get… Read more »

Brittany
Guest
Brittany

I have been thinking of deleting my facebook for awhile now. It’s kind of pointless now and I barely go on it. It’s just kind of weird now. My cousin posted something on my wall, and I didn’t see it and yesterday my mom asked my why I didn’t reply to my cousin. There is no privacy anymore. I’m torn on whether I should actually delete it or not :/ On the one hand, there is no privacy with it even if you put the highest security setting, however, it is easy to get in touch with a lot of… Read more »

Asma
Guest
Asma

Hi Brittany,

trust me I klnow the feeling of being torn. I played around with the idea for a year had facebook for two). Just do it when you’re ready. 🙂 I must say that since I deactivated it, I feel really happy. Like light and like a whole space opened up in my brain. I don’t have to worry about privacy or about becoming addicted to too much attention and absorb other people’s energies that is negative. It’s a real relief.

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