Can Men be Monogamous? 2 Things That Make It Possible

Can men be monogamous?

There’s a lot of talk about how monogamy is unnatural and no longer ‘in’ in today’s society.

A lot of people say that men are ‘hard-wired’ to spread their seed and to have sex with as many women as possible.

People also claim that women aren’t meant to be monogamous either.

A lot of women think monogamy is not for them, and that it’s “unrealistic” for them to be in love with, and commit to just one man for life.

Not to mention that infidelity seems to be commonplace in today’s society. 

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Can You Really Expect a Man to be Monogamous?

Can Men Be Monogamous?

For those who consider themselves naturally monogamous, this type of thinking is disastrous and threatening.

For those who want to spread their seed or have polyamorous relationships, the concept of humans not being naturally monogamous is a godsend.

Which argument is right? Before we answer that, let me share that I once read this statement about what men really think of women:

“Men are designed by God, produced by nature, and driven by hormones. And, that’s before they stop to think. Once old enough and they learn to pursue their self-interest, they do whatever the female gender requires for frequent and convenient access to sex.”

This statement is mostly true, but not always true.

Most importantly:

It’s true in the context of men who want monogamy, as well as in the context of men who just want to sleep around as much as they can.

Both types of sexual behaviour exist in all of us. As humans, we can be monogamous and we can be promiscuous or polygamous, or anything else.

Each of these behaviours has its own costs, though.

And it’s important to consider that the costs are often different based on whether you’re a man or a woman.

Can Men Be Monogamous? What About Their Hormones?

But let’s examine this next statement…

“Once old enough and they learn to pursue their self-interest”.

I agree that most people are driven completely by their own needs and that they simply don’t care enough about other people.

This however, has a lot to do with our level of consciousness. For example, most people live in survival mode and never think lon-term.

These are usually the people who have no idea how to really hold a relationship and not just hold it, but make it beautiful, loving and lasting.

One last thing about the above quoted paragraph: The statement is assuming that every man is egocentric.

Which is not the case. Some men actually value family, loyalty, and fidelity.

If we assume that the only truth is that all men will do whatever it takes to get access to sex, then we invalidate the men who don’t want sex.

Yes, there are some men don’t want sex!

In fact, there are many men who won’t in fact go out of their way to ‘do whatever the female gender requires’ in order to get sex.

(Read my article about when is the right time to sleep with a man?)

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What About Hard-Wiring??

Human beings are driven by emotion. Yes, we have hormones and yes, we have physical desires but emotion is what ultimately drives us.

For example, what leads us to kill someone or to commit suicide? What leads us to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Not because we’d rather ‘make sticky’ with another woman or man!

If you believe there’s such a thing as hard-wiring; then what is actually hardwired in to us?

Procreation?

Nursing ourselves if we get hurt?

Staying away from physical injuries?

If you believed that, then how do you explain all those who self harm and take pleasure in it?

What about our desire to be nourished?

If you think that’s hard-wiring, then what do you think about anorexics who are put off at the thought of food and deprive themselves of it?

Hard-wiring is just an excuse.

We, as humans, have a tremendous ability to change and adapt to our environment.

We can change our own biochemistry and hormones by what we think, believe and do. 

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you.

Does Monogamy = Monotony?

Sure, monogamy equals monotony, if you’re boring, or you’re with a boring person!

People just don’t realize that nobody has to expect to be bored after 10, 20, 40, or even 200 years of being in the same relationship with the same person!

Yes, we all have a need for variety. In fact, our need for sexual variety serves the gene pool by encouraging us to make babies with different kinds of people (who we will produce different types of babies with).

This also produces different babies with different immune systems, which can be good for the human population at large.

But this type of behaviour also has large costs – especially for women.

I a woman were to seek out several different sexual partners and have children with different men, there’s the benefit of having different type of cute babies – but she will no doubt lose out on valuable resources from a committed man.

This is because no man will every commit to a woman who will take her sexual resources elsewhere. Unless he hates himself or he is in denial.

(Read my article about how to make a man commit)

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Monogamy Doesn’t Have To Take Away The Enjoyment Of Variety

Sleeping with different partners might be exciting, but this doesn’t mean we have to obtain variety in sleeping with all sorts of different people.

It just means that the human nervous system needs variety. The form in which you need variety depends on your personal beliefs, values and needs.

Having different sexual partners and never committing to monogamy might be exciting, but so is eating candy and cake.

Does that mean we should do it?

Or that doing it leads to the deepest level of fulfilment for your soul?

Boredom in having sex with the same person comes when one or both of you just don’t make an effort to constantly find new ways to fill up the other person.

You dislike monogamy when you refuse to grow, contribute and give more to your spouse.

Even then, some people just have the belief that being with one person is the most enriching, beautiful and fulfilling thing in their life!

These people may have a natural preference for predictability and not need as much effort put in to creating variety in their sex lives.

One important thing to remember is that the masculine energy needs uncertainty in intimacy.

But that’s where all the flirtation, fun, and games come in to it. And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together with your man, if you’re an absolute goddess, and you fill him up and meet his needs, he’s not going to want to leave you.

(Read my article about why men go hot and cold)

CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (Works like magic in a high vale non-needy way!)

So, Can You Really Expect A Man To Be Monogamous?

The answer is yes, if you find a man with that type of value and belief system.

But what is also important is that you find a man who is so certain, strong and confident that nothing will shake the foundation of his most important beliefs.

Yet there is one important thing you need to know: human beings will violate their values and beliefs to meet their needs.

So what do you need to do?

You need to care about your man enough to meet those needs, and to meet them at a consistently outstanding level. Not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard.

It means little if you can care about someone else’s needs only when it’s easy. If you can do it when it’s hard, then you give yourself an opportunity to grow and become more, beyond what average women would do.

And in return, you reap the rewards of an amazing relationship!

Related: 5 “Must-Follow” Rules For Dating & Relationships For Women.

QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

What Makes A Man Monogamous?

What makes a man monogamous is these two things:

  1. A man falling in love with a woman.
  2. A man seeing and feeling his woman’s vulnerability.

To learn more, you can read this article about The Two Traits Of Women That Men Routinely Fall In Love With.

Here Are Some Things You Can Do To Encourage Your Man To Be Monogamous

  • Don’t ever assume that all men are egocentric (and don’t always be egocentric yourself. Always look to give value). When you’re a high value woman, you give value, and giving value makes it harder to a man to perceive value in other women.
  • Don’t always assume the worst. Trust him first.
  • Start looking beyond yourself and INTO your man’s deepest needs.
  • Always look to build on the emotional attraction and emotional connection in the relationship. If you have high levels of these two things, your man will be less likely to look elsewhere.

Don’t be fooled by this idea that you can never be in love with just one person for the rest of your life. Of course you can!

No matter how real this idea of ‘true love doesn’t last’ seems to you, know that there are people in love, happy, monogamous and fulfilled right NOW.

If a man has in his belief system that he cannot be happy unless he sleeps with many women, then he may be one of those guys who hasn’t yet understood that there’s a lot more juice beyond getting his rocks off.

Or he could just be in a relationship with you out of convenience – these are the worst types of relationships, because they lack passion and they were never born out of a genuine pair bond between the man and the woman.

(In other words, they never actually fell in love and formed that bond.)

But there’s something important you should know as a woman:

When men push for sex, they aren’t always actually looking for the physical act of sex. Many men, if they will relax and think beyond the surface thoughts, will realise that they’re actually looking for something deeper.

You can find out what that is by reading the article The Truth: What Men Are Looking For When They Push You For Sex.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)

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Can A Man Change His Beliefs About Monogamy?

Belief systems can change.

Most people have a whole lot of contradictions in their belief system. Just because a man doesn’t believe monogamy will make him happy doesn’t mean this belief won’t change.

And, whilst you never should try to change a man, you can always plant ‘seeds’ and make suggestions or drop ideas and thoughts in conversation. Ultimately, if you want the best for the other person, there’s nothing wrong with making suggestions.

By the way, I’m not suggesting that everyone has to be monogamous. The purpose of this article is to shed light on the idea that humans are not meant to be monogamous.

Remember, you as a woman can also inspire a man to become monogamous with you. This takes a lot more knowledge and advanced skills on your behalf in getting a man to commit.  I talk about this in my program Commitment Control 2.0, click here to learn how you can inspire your man to commit.

Regardless of what you choose to do, remember, exclusivity and commitment doesn’t always come smoothly or naturally, sometimes you have to step in and “inspire” it from a man!

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