Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

How to Become the Kind of Woman Men Want to Marry

Before I begin, let me just share a few extracts taken from an anti-marriage website:

“My wife was a frigid, shrivelled b***h. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only f***s when she “feels sexy.” Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.”

“What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why the f*** should i get married”

“We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my f****** ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don’t throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying f****** kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister’s house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn’t count as “Her time” because she’s with the baby.

I’ve had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so ‘entitled’ now it’s like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my ‘social’ time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change F****** DIAPERS”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY ANSWER

Hi there :)

I hope you’re having a lovely day and I haven’t thrown you off with those comments above! Now I am sure that, even just by reading these words you can see the frustration, resentment and anger inside these men.

(Please note: whilst I acknowledge that marriage takes 2, and that men need to step up and take charge of their own actions as well – this website is for women, so I focus mainly on what can be done from the woman’s end).

It’s true; if I was a man in this day and age, I would be quite put off marriage to many of the the modern women in the Western world. Truth be told, the state of our society has done some really bad things to the balance of masculine-feminine and to the values of women and men. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

The reason why men do not marry is actually really simple. A lot of men feel that there is nothing in it for them!

And what IS in it for them when they don’t have a good woman? The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority.

In fact, most women place their children at the top of their priorities – which may seem like the best thing to do, but men can grow to resent this as their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.

In the meantime, their man gets/feels neglected. Even more important – most women just have no idea how men work. They do not understand them, and most of them do not want to understand them; they’re too busy attending to their other tasks or priorities – in other words, themselves.

However, just as you want to be understood; so does your man! It’s important to not be a man-hater, or a man-basher and stop putting everything down to “Men just want sex”. This is not always true, and true love does exist.

How to become marriage material

So how do you become the kind of woman men want to marry? I will give some strategies below:

– Stop thinking of yourself.

Spend 60 days taking responsibility for your man’s needs and seeing things from his perspective, no matter how hard things are for you. If you do this, he may be more receptive to your needs and you will most likely get him in a different state; a state where you can bring up the topic of your needs with him.

– Understand him, and how he works.

Work out what his needs and values are, and start to understand. If you’re often defensive, start to seek understanding. Understanding gives you control and empowerment. We have a a program called Understanding Men, click here to get more information about this phenomenal program.

You’ll have a lot more certainty and happiness in your relationship if you start to understand that you DO have control over it – and you CAN make it better. More importantly, if you know how to meet his needs in a variety of ways better than anyone else ever could – he would have no reason not to want to be with you for as long as possible!

– Do not deny him sex regularly and do not use it as a commodity; do not ever use sex to specifically get what you want from him, if you want sex to be, for the long-term, a mutually enjoyable thing that you both share together.

Also, when you do sleep with him, be real, be honest and be generous. What do I mean by this? I mean understand him and learn why he wants sex. Don’t do it hoping it will be over soon. He knows this. He feels it. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

It is very hard on a man to be sleeping with a woman who wants it to be over, and treats his sexual needs as another “chore” to be done on the list. It’s important that you make time for him, and for the both of you to be together and to keep the passion alive and kicking.

– Have high standards for yourself.

Get fit, eat well. Also, just because you have had a child does not mean it’s ok to be overweight, depressed or “old” or no fun anymore. My lovely, as hard as it can be to look after so many things, and to have so many things on your mind, make it a habit to set your standards high.

If you want the great rewards and a fantastic loving husband who adores you, start by adoring him and understanding him. Understand that a man like his wife to look nice, not just for the sake of looking nice, BUT because he wants to know that his wife/girlfriend still CARES enough to bother making herself look nice for him.

This goes regardless of age. Just because a woman is 60, does not mean she can’t look good anymore. It’s more about never getting “old” on the inside, which then affects the outside.

These are a few good things that you can do to ensure you are on the right track to being the kind of woman a man wants to marry. And, it’s not all about getting a man to marry you or commit to you, it’s about starting by giving without expecting anything in return. (read my article about the difference between pleasing and giving)

Men aren’t as terrible as so many women say. They are not “all the same”, and men are happy to be loyal and give to us and cherish a good woman who takes care of his needs and gives beyond herself. They are not always unreasonable creatures, there are compassionate, caring men around.

And, your man should do the same, too. Relationships are about giving.

If you would like to know exactly step by step how to inspire your man to commit to you and marry you, I suggest you sign up to my program Commitment Control 2.0. It is the best program of its kind to help women in casual situations to a deeply devoted and committed relationship. Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass. 

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  • Mark

    “What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she
    gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why
    the f*** should i get married”

    Let’s see….Women have sex with you until you get married then start to cut it off. And I’m supposed to get married?

    Women get half the shit I worked for in the event of a divorce. No thanks.

    Women get the kids in the event of a divorce and I become a human wallet. No thanks (so really it’s much more than half).

    If women don’t get their way then like a spoiled brat they can just call 911 and have the husband arrested (government is their real daddy/husband) for almost anything they wish (and often times they just make it up). No thanks.

    They have all the power and little responsibility. What does that make me? The slave. A wallet. A utility. No thanks.

    Any guy that gets married today is a sub-boy masochist, ignorant or just a plain idiot. You’re really gambling with everything you ever worked for, reputation and maybe even your life.

    • BlueLanternMonk

      A good list. You left out “real man”,though. That’s the honey,we fight the bee for! (Or not) Marriage is dangerous,but cohabitation is too! Palimony exists for just this reason. Sprinkle in a little unpunished false accusation and voila! A recipe for disaster.

  • GORF

    Go MGTOW.

  • StarsCollide

    I admire women who still takes good care of themselves even after getting married and having kids.

    • BlueLanternMonk

      I admire men and women,who take care of themselves,with or without being married. It’s literally the right thing to do! I agree with you. Growing overweight is a primary cause,of the “sexless marriage” or so I hear. I like doing “Planks” and other body weight exercises. What’d you do to stay chiseled?
      “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates

      • StarsCollide

        Oh yes! Men AND women need to take care of themselves.
        I eat healthy and workout.

        • BlueLanternMonk

          Yeah,my diet is a little slack handed. I’m working on increasing my fruit and vegetable intake. Right now I’m on a “see food diet” and I exercise like hotcakes,to stay solid. I can’t get pregnant,but I know that a woman would need approximately 1.5 times her normal caloric intake,for the needs of the child. Any more than that and the decreased activity level while being pregnant,would result in unwanted weight gain. Plus “dad bod”,is overrated,so I’ve heard.

          • StarsCollide

            Yes i have heard about Dad bod. People name stuff like it is a new thing when it isn’t. How about “Mom bod”?

            I like “see food diet” too but in moderation. I always eat my fruits in morning that way I give my body the nutrition it needs. There is always a juicer; it would be easy to get the vitamins and minerals from a fruit and vegetable. Take it with you to the gym!

            wow! How many hours do you workout?

            • BlueLanternMonk

              Juice is the best! I’m staying up late. Is it almost tomorrow,where you are? I work out for zero hours,unless I’m playing,then it “doesn’t count”. Taking the juicier?! Do you have a sweet car charger for that?

      • StarsCollide

        Great quote!!! It is a shame to grow old without knowing our body. Some people are shut down, and it saddens me.

        …and I want to do something different this year for me!

        • BlueLanternMonk

          It’s easy to stay or get fit. The secret is to make it obscenely easy. Planks (side,reverse & standard) beat sit ups and crunches,all day. Jumping rope is more efficient than jogging etc. To me going to the gym is pure humor! What do you have planned,to do differently,this year?

          • StarsCollide

            You do them everyday? That is a lot of dedication and hardwork!
            I like to workout at home and follow exercises on Youtube. I’m still thinking about what it is I am going to do differently for this year.

            • BlueLanternMonk

              ….it’s like fun. The more we have,the more we want. Also,I’m going on old and I’m still getting looks,so it can’t be hurting. If your at a loss for good ideas,as to a dynamic improvement this year,I hear lottery tickets are in season.

              • StarsCollide

                You have a sense of humor.

                • BlueLanternMonk

                  Thank you. This may be the least serious internet conversation,that I’ve ever had!
                  Fembot: Bender, honey, we love you.
                  Bender: Shut up baby,I know it!

                • StarsCollide

                  I can see you like Futurama.

                • BlueLanternMonk

                  Who doesn’t?! Okay now you try. Throw in a semi-relevant quote,idiom,song lyric etc.,for effect. It’s kinda funny……

            • BlueLanternMonk

              “How To Get A 6-PACK – Build An Athletic Core” (YouTube video)
              Have fun out there!

              • StarsCollide

                That sounds like body building.

                • BlueLanternMonk

                  Sounds can be are deceiving. Body building is a waste of time. The muscles they build are often not stretched out properly,thus are filled with air,break down quickly,turn to fat and are injured easily. Check the videos out. I only advise you to use what I do,so I can assure it’s effectiveness.
                  “Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.” -Bruce Lee

  • Ralph

    Ok well not all are the same.. I for example would love to marry, have kids and a wonderful family.. But I can understand that many other men either aren’t ready because they’re scared or they don’t want to because they thinks it’s “grounding” them which is completely stupid if you ask me..

  • disqus_vG0AOlzetF

    If men and women see each other as the enemy we have a serious problem. People need to grow up. Drop the ego.

  • Sam2

    Because I can get everything outside of marriage that I could get in a marriage. Not being married means that the women are cheaper, easier to get ride of, and I don’t have to put up with as much nonsense. Oh and I can keep my options open.

  • Luke

    Your ways of thinking are the right ways, am I right? Instead of having sex, a “real man” will want to make love, right? I was raised on this horseshit. It never made me any happier. That’s not how my MALE MIND is wired. If you can’t love, respect, tolerate or even just ACCEPT maleness for what it is, you can’t really love and honor your male partner.

  • Luke

    Once again, this was a beautiful article. Thank you for continually expressing so much love for men in general in your articles.

    I want to share something I read in a related feminist-relationship article. This girl left a comment about having to share duties with her husband. She gets migraines. That’s why she says it sucks that she has to wake up to feed her baby… even though, she refuses to bottle-feed her baby. It’s like HONESTLY? It sucks that you have to be the one to feed your baby when you’re the one with the biological equipment necessary?? That self-absorbed irresponsible comment made me sick. That’s where we’re at. These feminists have more love for the sisterhood than their own family.

  • Unreal

    “their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.”

    The difference? Kids can’t take of themselves.

  • KawiMan

    Married for 18 years once. I will never get married again. Don’t need the drama, moodiness, lies, BS, or expenses in my life. It’s not worth it. When all of the illusions of romance and love is stripped away, all that’s left in a marriage is a financial business contract.

  • The Don Mgtow

    ‘The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority’ … NEWS FLASH.. its not the fast-moving modern world thats done this.. its feminism – fact. The feminist movement pushed for women to essentially be able to take on the responsibilities/employment usually handled by men. Think about it.. and I mean really think about it – men have been doing the vast majority of the employment work life for ALOT LONGER than women have been able to.. and since women have been able to their relative happiness has declined and the social dynamics has been thrown into disarray. There are numerous research articles on this all over the web. Don’t blame society for your own mess.. its yours. If men wanted you in the workforce.. don’t you think it would have happened A LONG time ago?

    What about the pure validity of their comments in regards to the heavily gynocentric court and legal system that puts the vast majority of men into an automatic un-equal situation? You make no mention of it whatsoever.. and I at least noticed. This article has comments from men DIRECTLY related to it and doesn’t make a mention of that in the advice for women. Renee, you look at the emotion of the men’s comments (anger, resentment etc) and nothing else – you even show how men really feel and speaking about what’s important to them and you make some valid suggestions.. but its purely from a gynocentric perspective… again NEWS FLASH.. this isn’t really going to work – you are duping your readers n clients selling them snake oil. Men are wising up to a lot of things really quickly… you are not able to ‘trick’ a smart modern man with just the emotional bribery – the situation doesn’t change i.e. getting into marriage is putting him at a lot of real risk.. especially with the divorce rates being what they are – Its literally a coin flip to know if your life is ruined.. both emotionally and financially. 80% of divorces are INSTIGATED by women.. GEE.. I WONDER WHY THEY ARE SO MORE INCLINED TO INSTIGATE A DIROCE!?!?! (with one of the main reasons declared by these women to be ‘Im not happy’.. pfft).

    The other things feminism has pushed for is no-fault divorce. This is a BIG ONE. A no fault divorce system combined with a heavily gynocentric divorce courts n law system?? I WONDER WHAT KIND OF ENVIRONMENT THAT WOULD PRODUCE HEY? Gynocentric nature.. combined with the nature of humans in general (greedy, manipulative etc) is a recipe for disaster as far as men are concerned.

    You literally have to turn back your position of power in societys ‘system’ to re-balance the situation.. but you want your cake and to eat it too – the modern woman wants to pick and choose what feminism has achieved for your gender.. this is proved to me by the fact you didn’t give any advice to your readers… and don’t try the ‘we cant change the way things are’ victim whine.. cos you would be crying foul of a system women created for themselves.

    Men are to blame too.. but in the following way. 1% of the population (politicians and other men in positions of power) have PANDERED to women to get their support and vote and had no issues in selling out men… but remember this.. in reality these people REACT to society to harness the voting n financial support (its easier than creating it).

    Mgtow_4_life.

    • Luke

      Since day one, feminism has wanted all women to love and respect the sisterhood more than their own families. You can see that in the newest Suffragette movie.

    • Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

      I see your points, but in alot of families or couples, they simply *cannot* live on just one income – the wife must work to make ends meet.

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