Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

How to Become the Kind of Woman Men Want to Marry

Before I begin, let me just share a few extracts taken from an anti-marriage website:

“My wife was a frigid, shrivelled b***h. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only f***s when she “feels sexy.” Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.”

“What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why the f*** should i get married”

“We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my f****** ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don’t throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying f****** kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister’s house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn’t count as “Her time” because she’s with the baby.

I’ve had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so ‘entitled’ now it’s like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my ‘social’ time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change F****** DIAPERS”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY ANSWER

Hi there :)

I hope you’re having a lovely day and I haven’t thrown you off with those comments above! Now I am sure that, even just by reading these words you can see the frustration, resentment and anger inside these men.

(Please note: whilst I acknowledge that marriage takes 2, and that men need to step up and take charge of their own actions as well – this website is for women, so I focus mainly on what can be done from the woman’s end).

It’s true; if I was a man in this day and age, I would be quite put off marriage to many of the the modern women in the Western world. Truth be told, the state of our society has done some really bad things to the balance of masculine-feminine and to the values of women and men. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

The reason why men do not marry is actually really simple. A lot of men feel that there is nothing in it for them!

And what IS in it for them when they don’t have a good woman? The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority.

In fact, most women place their children at the top of their priorities – which may seem like the best thing to do, but men can grow to resent this as their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.

In the meantime, their man gets/feels neglected. Even more important – most women just have no idea how men work. They do not understand them, and most of them do not want to understand them; they’re too busy attending to their other tasks or priorities – in other words, themselves.

However, just as you want to be understood; so does your man! It’s important to not be a man-hater, or a man-basher and stop putting everything down to “Men just want sex”. This is not always true, and true love does exist.

How to become marriage material

So how do you become the kind of woman men want to marry? I will give some strategies below:

– Stop thinking of yourself.

Spend 60 days taking responsibility for your man’s needs and seeing things from his perspective, no matter how hard things are for you. If you do this, he may be more receptive to your needs and you will most likely get him in a different state; a state where you can bring up the topic of your needs with him.

– Understand him, and how he works.

Work out what his needs and values are, and start to understand. If you’re often defensive, start to seek understanding. Understanding gives you control and empowerment. We have a a program called Understanding Men, click here to get more information about this phenomenal program.

You’ll have a lot more certainty and happiness in your relationship if you start to understand that you DO have control over it – and you CAN make it better. More importantly, if you know how to meet his needs in a variety of ways better than anyone else ever could – he would have no reason not to want to be with you for as long as possible!

– Do not deny him sex regularly and do not use it as a commodity; do not ever use sex to specifically get what you want from him, if you want sex to be, for the long-term, a mutually enjoyable thing that you both share together.

Also, when you do sleep with him, be real, be honest and be generous. What do I mean by this? I mean understand him and learn why he wants sex. Don’t do it hoping it will be over soon. He knows this. He feels it. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

It is very hard on a man to be sleeping with a woman who wants it to be over, and treats his sexual needs as another “chore” to be done on the list. It’s important that you make time for him, and for the both of you to be together and to keep the passion alive and kicking.

– Have high standards for yourself.

Get fit, eat well. Also, just because you have had a child does not mean it’s ok to be overweight, depressed or “old” or no fun anymore. My lovely, as hard as it can be to look after so many things, and to have so many things on your mind, make it a habit to set your standards high.

If you want the great rewards and a fantastic loving husband who adores you, start by adoring him and understanding him. Understand that a man like his wife to look nice, not just for the sake of looking nice, BUT because he wants to know that his wife/girlfriend still CARES enough to bother making herself look nice for him.

This goes regardless of age. Just because a woman is 60, does not mean she can’t look good anymore. It’s more about never getting “old” on the inside, which then affects the outside.

These are a few good things that you can do to ensure you are on the right track to being the kind of woman a man wants to marry. And, it’s not all about getting a man to marry you or commit to you, it’s about starting by giving without expecting anything in return. (read my article about the difference between pleasing and giving)

Men aren’t as terrible as so many women say. They are not “all the same”, and men are happy to be loyal and give to us and cherish a good woman who takes care of his needs and gives beyond herself. They are not always unreasonable creatures, there are compassionate, caring men around.

And, your man should do the same, too. Relationships are about giving.

If you would like to know exactly step by step how to inspire your man to commit to you and marry you, I suggest you sign up to my program Commitment Control 2.0. It is the best program of its kind to help women in casual situations to a deeply devoted and committed relationship. Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass. 

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  • Gmack

    Marriage and having children is a financial death sentence for men. Men do not want to become a wage slave to women. and as for feminism , its a mental illness.
    MGTOW FOREVER, FOREVER MGTOW

  • Rocky

    For men marriage is risk. No advantages. Am divorced and two of my gf’s have tried to pin me down into marriage. Why? We are not having kids together (middle aged). Its a game where the woman plays along until you are tethered to her financially then the sex, intimacy etc all dry up as she has caught you and no longer has to try. After divorce my ex started working out to get in shape to catch sucker #2 – it worked. Why didn’t she bother while we were married? I’d get home after a long day of physical work with groceries I’d bought on the way home. Would cook dinner and start cleaning the house. Her? She was sooo tired from looking after the kids and maybe doing a laundry! I got to be away from all this work and stress and have fun! I would have traded places in a heartbeat as I love my kids. Mr Disney and feminism ha ve created a herd of entitled princesses.

  • SeriouslySpeaking

    Just too many very high maintenance spoiled and selfish women out there nowadays since many of these type of women just Can’t like a guy for himself anymore.

  • Insidious Sid

    Marriage: Insane risk, man has everything to lose. Women are more demanding and materialistic and difficult to satisfy than ever before. Both men and women are spoiled these days and expect instant gratification everywhere. Women are sexually loose and mistake their ability to hook-up with high quality males (for one night, anyways) for being an actual high quality partner themselves. Ladies: just because you can bed a top guy once in a while does not mean you’re top relationship material… it just means he was horny and you were easy. That’s it. Nothing more.

  • rawr

    i’m sure a few ears ago i’d have been delighted in seeing an article like this of women wanting to become better women for their men. now i just see shallow attempts to have their cake. whenever a girl is sweet on me i know it’s because she wants something out of me. worse yet is i see in the comments the resounding bs of “there’s also few good men out there to connect with”. the vast majority of men are good by nature. they may not be making 6 figures and have chiseled features but most of them are the kind of people you can depend on when it counts. women on the other hand, you will very rarely find a woman you can say the same about. sure there’s all kinds of women whining in response to posts like this about how they gave their boyfriend everything they had and he ended up dumping her to find someone else, that’s your fault for loving men who aren’t capable of loving you, you do the choosing babe, and you chose exactly as expected of you, very very poorly.

    i’d love to find a good woman because as a man there’s always going to be that part that’s missing for a complete life: the love and companionship of a good woman that i care for. i don’t get my hopes up, i’m no 10/10 and the competition for what few good women are out there is too extreme for the everyman to have a shot with, that’s life.

    i noticed the less i care about women, the more attractive i am to them, go figure. i can’t love anymore because if a woman shows attraction towards me it’s because she’s attracted to emotional unavailability, not me.

    • Jessica

      It’ s not just women having bad judgment when it comes to loving the wrong kind of men, men have bad judgment when it comes to loving the wrong kind of women as well. Everyone chooses who they love. Some people come in your life for a lifetime; the majority come for a season. You have to know which is which because you will always mess up mixing seasonal people with lifetime expectations. I’m sorry that you feel that you can’t love because of the nonsense you’ve been through. Forgive them and most of all forgive yourself.

    • Insidious Sid

      ‘Not caring’ (lack of empathy for others) is a personality trait of narcissists and psychopaths, 2 of 3 personality types of the “dark triad”. Read up on the dark triad and you’ll know that women are really sexually attracted to the worst men (thugs) of the bunch: the men who will stop at nothing to get what they want. Women are envious of this power, and wish to wield it themselves, and believe that their sexuality can be used as a remote control on monsters like this to allocate that power and the spoils that usually comes with it. But this frequently blows up in women’s faces – thugs don’t love and thugs don’t share. They beat and abuse and manipulate their women and lovers just like they abuse everybody else around them. On the flip side, men raised to be “good/nice/decent guys” are rejected in droves by women who get the magic tingles from primal thugs.

  • TheThinker

    Until women are treated as true equals in our divorce courts, men should never ever marry them. Awarding gifts and cash prices to women just because they “earned less” to maintain their way of life after the relationship has ended is absolute crap. As a matter of fact, marriage should default to this: short of clear, provable reasons for divorce, any woman who files for divorce should not receive anything. Not even the couple’s kids, if they have any. Thoughtless divorces are nothing but a deliberate destruction of a man’s family, and no one should receive gifts for doing that.
    It is unfortunate that it has now come to this, where men ask women, “What exactly do you have to offer me?”

    • Jessica

      It should work both ways in divorce court. It’s just a shame that men and women have caused so much anger, resentment, and hatred towards each other. Not only men don’t want to get married, women don’t want to get married either. The law is not fair. People are not the same, even when it come to this situation. I’m glad that I don’t have children with my husband. If we ever divorce, I want nothing from him except for him to be out of my life. There was a time when I didn’t want to get married because I witnessed a lot of my family getting married, divorced and remarried. I thought “Damn, if this is how a marriage ends, I don’t want to get married.” Just because other people’s marriages fall apart doesn’t mean yours will too. People don’t realize that you have to work on a marriage. It’s up to both people to stand strong when trouble comes. If they run and hide, it won’t last.

  • Truth

    Very hard these days to find a Good decent woman to connect with.

    • Jessica

      That is true. It’s also difficult for a woman to a good decent man to conncet with. That’s what happens when the sexes battle each other. Nothing left but anger, resentment, and hatred towards men and women.

      • rawr

        most men are good men, at least 70%. not all of them are going to be rich or hot, but they’re unique men of character and intrigue. can you say the same about yourself? the more women i’ve met the more i’ve realized that beyond a nice face and hips most women aren’t really anything special, nor do they have the strength of character to be the kind of person you can depend on when things go to shit. most women have nothing to offer men beyond their bodies, and anything else that they can offer a man beyond that, he or his male friends can do equal or better.

        • Jessica

          Actually, yes I can. I don’t sugar-coat or beat around the bush. I don’t run and hide when things go ape shit because nothing will get solved that way. Men and women both need to face everything head on instead of running like scared little boys and girls. BTW rawr, I am married. I look at life from both sides, not just one.

      • SeriouslySpeaking

        Well with the kind of women that are out there these days, many of us will Not waste our time.

  • http://mgtow.com Jason Fartpants

    Go Your Own Way, guys and enjoy your vacations. Here’s wishing you all a Happy MGTOW Day on 14th Feb.

    • DarthW

      You are exactly right. I make it a point to remind all my friends and relatives during this time of year how lucky those of us who are single really are reminded of that fact on February 14th….especially we single guys!

  • MR. Crystal Chaos

    MGTOW – That’s where you find all the whys?!

  • Jessica Wade

    Damn, you men really are bitter. I don’t blame you though. Believe it or not, there are women who don’t want to get married because they feel like they have more to focus on instead of looking after some man and a bunch of screaming kids. Not only that, most women feel like they’re losing their freedom and identity. So yes, both and women don’t want to marry for the same and different reasons.

    • GH

      Women are wronged? Those evil oppressive men, all of them just by their nature. Men wronged? Easy now, both men and women can be bad sometimes, no reason to pin it on all women; in fact, both men and women are victims when men are wronged.

      I wish you could hear yourselves as we hear you.

    • Luke

      Yes, and those women will be selected out of the gene pool, so there will be fewer like them with each successive generation. Win-win.

    • Fraga123

      Ye$, of cour$e.

  • P H

    I appreciate your efforts to give constructive advice Renee, and yet acknowledge the reality that there are low-value men – and low-value women. Mature people recognize there are low- and high-value members of the opposite sex. I would rather learn to become as high-value as a mate as I possibly can, and learn to recognize high-value men, than complain about all the low-value ones and write off marriage entirely because there are low-value men out there. Attitude is everything. Thanks for your advice!

  • Pingback: The Sexodus - another article on men giving up pursuit of women - Page 4()

  • really Renee?

    Being a young couple today is difficult – different from a couple of decades ago due to reduced buying power, work/life balance issues and entitlement.
    Both of you twenty-somethings – have a hard look at the bank balance and the prospects before you hook up and make a baby.
    If you do, person-up and make it work.

    • Insidious Sid

      “PERSON UP”. Love it. Tired of all this “MAN UP” nonsense when the internet clearly doesn’t tolerate the term “WOMAN UP”!

  • DarthW

    Gotta agree with PJay, and any other men on here that say marriage is a pile of crap. Women are parasites in most cases….I suppose there are a few exceptions, but they are like unicorns: Read a lot about the exceptions, but don’t see them much, so they appear to be a fantasy.

    I know a couple seemingly happily married men, but I know a TON more very unhappily married men. I remember being in a group of friends and acquaintances a few years ago when a married older gentleman was talking to a buddy of his about maybe hanging out for a couple hours that weekend. The married older gentleman turns to his wife and says, “Troy and I were thinking about doing so and so tomorrow. Just wanted to make sure that’s good.” His wife of 10+ years suddenly got very stern and condescending with him and stated firmly, “No you’re not. I have a list of things for you to do tomorrow.” My reaction to that was “Thank the stars I’ve never married.” Women today get married thinking they run the show at home, and the guy is just there to hand over a paycheck and do her “honey-do list”. EFF THAT.

    Add to this the pile of divorced mothers in the dating pool. I tried that route for years, finally waking up and giving up. Divorced mothers are the worst. Statistically they likely initiated the divorce from the man who gave them children, and the moms think they have the same market value in the dating pool – or ever more value – because they have kids from another man with whom they couldn’t make a marriage work. The moms enter the dating world again making demands, acting entitled, and expecting to be treated like a queen by some other guy. So the moms bring a pile of crap in their attitude AND now have kids, an ex, debt, and all the other crap that comes from a divorce. HELL NO!

    Marriage is a bad deal for men, and all men should stay away. My nephews are reaching adulthood, and I am encouraging them heavily to focus on their careers, date women only for fun and sex, and to NEVER commit or marry them.

  • PJay

    This is a country where having a “traditional marriage” is listed in the VAWA website as a potential indicator for domestic violence.

    Where a woman recently appealed her $995,000,000 divorce settlement – because SHE WANTS MORE.

    It’s WhoreTown – the women, the Family Courts, the lawyers….take your pick, as it’s hard to tell which is the biggest parasite preying on men.

    Marriage is over.

  • Delmonico

    How hard is it to just f*** your husband?
    My parents were married 56 years and my mother told me the secret. (You guessed it!)
    Men will be loyal as dogs in even the shittiest of relationships. Add a little sex and you’ve got him for life.

  • Seriously

    How can we get married when many women do Stink nowadays.

  • Patrick

    First Of all , the quotes given from the anti marriage website ….are not representative of normal educated professional men …I hate to break it to you but I don’t know anyone that talks like this about women…..do I know plenty of men who are utterly put off marriage or have been devastated by it? …unfortunately yes.

    Why ? No doubt many women want to dismiss this non marrying as a lack of manliness, unwillingness to commit, selfishness , immaturity etc etc etc …but again I hate to break it to you, but most decent men, even the ones destroyed by bad marriages / experiences would give their right hand to be with a loving woman who actually wants what is best for them as much as the man wants it for his wife and they have no problems committing for life.

    Problem is, many woman have almost it seems, collectively supported this attitude of so many woman today, who believe that they don’t have to work at anything , they are so worth it, they never err….they talk a great game, sharing every nuance of emotion…yet it isn’t their husband they are talking to – it’s their female friends, who invariably support any and all behaviour ..girl code, women should stick together etc etc…even when what your doing is wrong..and then they feel justified in defending their rubbish behaviour.

    I want to marry one woman and be a unit with her ..everyone else comes second. And
    I will happily look after and support my wife …but guess what …that doesn’t mean I want a woman that sits at home all day doing nothing, while I’m busting my gut. If we have children of course it’s fair and right she is at home(if she wants to be) …but what about all the childless yummy mummies who exist to socialise..until they decide they do want children and then the man truly is denigrated to nothing more than a provider…or the woman whose children are grown up and could easily take a part time job and share the load…Do You think being a ‘real’ man means saying my wife is at home while I work a 60/70 hour week…sorry that’s fantasy …more likely your husband is thinking if we worked together we could retire earlier and spend some time with each other.

    I have no doubt I will hear ‘Looking after children is tough , you don’t do any housework etc etc …but again that is a bit of a myth too…most guys I know cook and clean and don’t need telling that the bathroom needs cleaning, in fact most single guys apartments are far cleaner than their girlfriends.

    Why don’t you ask yourself , after work, after household chores, after ferrying the kids everywhere, all done willingly you sit down and your wife can only say she met Beth and the girls in town today for lunch how much you would respect that in a man?

    Men are not stupid they see this all over the place , they hear the guy two desks down talking about it , or the guy devastated his wife left him and taken way more than is fair and now her new boyfriend is in his house ….even though he wasnt the one that had the affair.

    If you want men to commit , many of you have to step up ladies and stop taking the easy route or treating your husbands liek facilitators to your life objectives.The good news is that many are willingly to still, because when everything is said and done , real love between a man and a woman who treat each other well , is the most incredible thing

    • Insidious Sid

      “The good news is that many are willingly to still.”
      No, that’s bad news. Because men are dumb enough to tolerate deplorable behavior, women know there is no need to change. Good news is when men walk away and women start to notice. For example “Where have all the good marriageable men gone?”

  • Siana

    Aren’t any of you paying attention to what you’re writing?! Most men don’t want custody of their children anyway. None of you want your kids!! You’re just pissed because you have to pay for them. When you divorce and throw out your wife and children, you want to reset. You don’t want to have anythInvto do with them. Most women that divorce are stay at home moms. They need time to find jobs after divorce as most employers will not hire them. A woman carries your stupid kids for almost a year and it’s only fair you pay for them. The other side of the coin is that women work just as much as as men do. They have jobs now as well as taking care of you manchildren and your s

    • Mary

      I sense a lot of ignorant hate and anger in this post.

    • Aaron

      Statistically, women initiate 80% of all divorces that occur in America. So the idea that men are the ones throwing away their wife and kids and uprooting their families is dishonest.

      But not only that, the moment the courts remove a father from access to his children, he is four times as likely to commit suicide.

      Furthermore, when women divorce their husbands and remove him from his children, the kids have a statistically higher chance of suffering from depression, anger, teen suicide, dropping out of school, getting into prostitution, criminal activity, ending up in prison and living on menial wages with no ambition.

      All because women wanted a divorce. So that idea that men don’t want their kids, is in a word, misguided.

    • DarthW

      Actually Siana, wives initiate divorces 70% of the time when they are uneducated and 90% of the time is she is educated. WIVES divorce husbands way more. WIVES throw out their husbands and essentially the future of their children.

    • Insidious Sid

      I have 50% custody and spend all of that time with my kids. I do my housework, home and car maintenance and overtime on MY time when she has the kids. Shows what you know.