Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

Why Men Do Not Want to Marry

How to Become the Kind of Woman Men Want to Marry

Before I begin, let me just share a few extracts taken from an anti-marriage website:

“My wife was a frigid, shrivelled b***h. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only f***s when she “feels sexy.” Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.”

“What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my s**t. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my s**t. Why the f*** should i get married”

“We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my f****** ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don’t throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying f****** kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister’s house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn’t count as “Her time” because she’s with the baby.

I’ve had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so ‘entitled’ now it’s like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my ‘social’ time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change F****** DIAPERS”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MY ANSWER

Hi there :)

I hope you’re having a lovely day and I haven’t thrown you off with those comments above! Now I am sure that, even just by reading these words you can see the frustration, resentment and anger inside these men.

(Please note: whilst I acknowledge that marriage takes 2, and that men need to step up and take charge of their own actions as well – this website is for women, so I focus mainly on what can be done from the woman’s end).

It’s true; if I was a man in this day and age, I would be quite put off marriage to many of the the modern women in the Western world. Truth be told, the state of our society has done some really bad things to the balance of masculine-feminine and to the values of women and men. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

The reason why men do not marry is actually really simple. A lot of men feel that there is nothing in it for them!

And what IS in it for them when they don’t have a good woman? The fast-moving modern world that we live in has ensured that women are working longer hours, juggling more responsibilities, and progressively less able to place their men as their top priority.

In fact, most women place their children at the top of their priorities – which may seem like the best thing to do, but men can grow to resent this as their women are more fulfilled taking care of their kids than they are taking care of their men.

In the meantime, their man gets/feels neglected. Even more important – most women just have no idea how men work. They do not understand them, and most of them do not want to understand them; they’re too busy attending to their other tasks or priorities – in other words, themselves.

However, just as you want to be understood; so does your man! It’s important to not be a man-hater, or a man-basher and stop putting everything down to “Men just want sex”. This is not always true, and true love does exist.

How to become marriage material

So how do you become the kind of woman men want to marry? I will give some strategies below:

- Stop thinking of yourself.

Spend 60 days taking responsibility for your man’s needs and seeing things from his perspective, no matter how hard things are for you. If you do this, he may be more receptive to your needs and you will most likely get him in a different state; a state where you can bring up the topic of your needs with him.

- Understand him, and how he works.

Work out what his needs and values are, and start to understand. If you’re often defensive, start to seek understanding. Understanding gives you control and empowerment. We have a a program called Understanding Men, click here to get more information about this phenomenal program.

You’ll have a lot more certainty and happiness in your relationship if you start to understand that you DO have control over it – and you CAN make it better. More importantly, if you know how to meet his needs in a variety of ways better than anyone else ever could – he would have no reason not to want to be with you for as long as possible!

– Do not deny him sex regularly and do not use it as a commodity; do not ever use sex to specifically get what you want from him, if you want sex to be, for the long-term, a mutually enjoyable thing that you both share together.

Also, when you do sleep with him, be real, be honest and be generous. What do I mean by this? I mean understand him and learn why he wants sex. Don’t do it hoping it will be over soon. He knows this. He feels it. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

It is very hard on a man to be sleeping with a woman who wants it to be over, and treats his sexual needs as another “chore” to be done on the list. It’s important that you make time for him, and for the both of you to be together and to keep the passion alive and kicking.

- Have high standards for yourself.

Get fit, eat well. Also, just because you have had a child does not mean it’s ok to be overweight, depressed or “old” or no fun anymore. My lovely, as hard as it can be to look after so many things, and to have so many things on your mind, make it a habit to set your standards high.

If you want the great rewards and a fantastic loving husband who adores you, start by adoring him and understanding him. Understand that a man like his wife to look nice, not just for the sake of looking nice, BUT because he wants to know that his wife/girlfriend still CARES enough to bother making herself look nice for him.

This goes regardless of age. Just because a woman is 60, does not mean she can’t look good anymore. It’s more about never getting “old” on the inside, which then affects the outside.

These are a few good things that you can do to ensure you are on the right track to being the kind of woman a man wants to marry. And, it’s not all about getting a man to marry you or commit to you, it’s about starting by giving without expecting anything in return. (read my article about the difference between pleasing and giving)

Men aren’t as terrible as so many women say. They are not “all the same”, and men are happy to be loyal and give to us and cherish a good woman who takes care of his needs and gives beyond herself. They are not always unreasonable creatures, there are compassionate, caring men around.

And, your man should do the same, too. Relationships are about giving.

If you would like to know exactly step by step how to inspire your man to commit to you and marry you, I suggest you sign up to my program Commitment Control 2.0. It is the best program of its kind to help women in casual situations to a deeply devoted and committed relationship. Click here to register to watch the Commitment Masterclass. 



Comment navigation

  • TheThinker

    Reply Reply March 28, 2015

    Until women are treated as true equals in our divorce courts, men should never ever marry them. Awarding gifts and cash prices to women just because they “earned less” to maintain their way of life after the relationship has ended is absolute crap. As a matter of fact, marriage should default to this: short of clear, provable reasons for divorce, any woman who files for divorce should not receive anything. Not even the couple’s kids, if they have any. Thoughtless divorces are nothing but a deliberate destruction of a man’s family, and no one should receive gifts for doing that.
    It is unfortunate that it has now come to this, where men ask women, “What exactly do you have to offer me?”

    • Jessica

      Reply Reply April 1, 2015

      It should work both ways in divorce court. It’s just a shame that men and women have caused so much anger, resentment, and hatred towards each other. Not only men don’t want to get married, women don’t want to get married either. The law is not fair. People are not the same, even when it come to this situation. I’m glad that I don’t have children with my husband. If we ever divorce, I want nothing from him except for him to be out of my life. There was a time when I didn’t want to get married because I witnessed a lot of my family getting married, divorced and remarried. I thought “Damn, if this is how a marriage ends, I don’t want to get married.” Just because other people’s marriages fall apart doesn’t mean yours will too. People don’t realize that you have to work on a marriage. It’s up to both people to stand strong when trouble comes. If they run and hide, it won’t last.

  • Truth

    Reply Reply February 26, 2015

    Very hard these days to find a Good decent woman to connect with.

    • Jessica

      Reply Reply March 25, 2015

      That is true. It’s also difficult for a woman to a good decent man to conncet with. That’s what happens when the sexes battle each other. Nothing left but anger, resentment, and hatred towards men and women.

  • Jason Fartpants

    Reply Reply February 6, 2015

    Go Your Own Way, guys and enjoy your vacations. Here’s wishing you all a Happy MGTOW Day on 14th Feb.

    • DarthW

      Reply Reply February 9, 2015

      You are exactly right. I make it a point to remind all my friends and relatives during this time of year how lucky those of us who are single really are reminded of that fact on February 14th….especially we single guys!

  • MR. Crystal Chaos

    Reply Reply January 12, 2015

    MGTOW – That’s where you find all the whys?!

  • Jessica Wade

    Reply Reply January 2, 2015

    Damn, you men really are bitter. I don’t blame you though. Believe it or not, there are women who don’t want to get married because they feel like they have more to focus on instead of looking after some man and a bunch of screaming kids. Not only that, most women feel like they’re losing their freedom and identity. So yes, both and women don’t want to marry for the same and different reasons.

    • GH

      Reply Reply January 13, 2015

      Women are wronged? Those evil oppressive men, all of them just by their nature. Men wronged? Easy now, both men and women can be bad sometimes, no reason to pin it on all women; in fact, both men and women are victims when men are wronged.

      I wish you could hear yourselves as we hear you.

    • Luke

      Reply Reply March 27, 2015

      Yes, and those women will be selected out of the gene pool, so there will be fewer like them with each successive generation. Win-win.

  • P H

    Reply Reply December 27, 2014

    I appreciate your efforts to give constructive advice Renee, and yet acknowledge the reality that there are low-value men – and low-value women. Mature people recognize there are low- and high-value members of the opposite sex. I would rather learn to become as high-value as a mate as I possibly can, and learn to recognize high-value men, than complain about all the low-value ones and write off marriage entirely because there are low-value men out there. Attitude is everything. Thanks for your advice!

  • really Renee?

    Reply Reply December 3, 2014

    Being a young couple today is difficult – different from a couple of decades ago due to reduced buying power, work/life balance issues and entitlement.
    Both of you twenty-somethings – have a hard look at the bank balance and the prospects before you hook up and make a baby.
    If you do, person-up and make it work.

  • DarthW

    Reply Reply November 30, 2014

    Gotta agree with PJay, and any other men on here that say marriage is a pile of crap. Women are parasites in most cases….I suppose there are a few exceptions, but they are like unicorns: Read a lot about the exceptions, but don’t see them much, so they appear to be a fantasy.

    I know a couple seemingly happily married men, but I know a TON more very unhappily married men. I remember being in a group of friends and acquaintances a few years ago when a married older gentleman was talking to a buddy of his about maybe hanging out for a couple hours that weekend. The married older gentleman turns to his wife and says, “Troy and I were thinking about doing so and so tomorrow. Just wanted to make sure that’s good.” His wife of 10+ years suddenly got very stern and condescending with him and stated firmly, “No you’re not. I have a list of things for you to do tomorrow.” My reaction to that was “Thank the stars I’ve never married.” Women today get married thinking they run the show at home, and the guy is just there to hand over a paycheck and do her “honey-do list”. EFF THAT.

    Add to this the pile of divorced mothers in the dating pool. I tried that route for years, finally waking up and giving up. Divorced mothers are the worst. Statistically they likely initiated the divorce from the man who gave them children, and the moms think they have the same market value in the dating pool – or ever more value – because they have kids from another man with whom they couldn’t make a marriage work. The moms enter the dating world again making demands, acting entitled, and expecting to be treated like a queen by some other guy. So the moms bring a pile of crap in their attitude AND now have kids, an ex, debt, and all the other crap that comes from a divorce. HELL NO!

    Marriage is a bad deal for men, and all men should stay away. My nephews are reaching adulthood, and I am encouraging them heavily to focus on their careers, date women only for fun and sex, and to NEVER commit or marry them.

  • PJay

    Reply Reply November 14, 2014

    This is a country where having a “traditional marriage” is listed in the VAWA website as a potential indicator for domestic violence.

    Where a woman recently appealed her $995,000,000 divorce settlement – because SHE WANTS MORE.

    It’s WhoreTown – the women, the Family Courts, the lawyers….take your pick, as it’s hard to tell which is the biggest parasite preying on men.

    Marriage is over.

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