After work she eats until she numbs herself.

When she’s numb from food, she reads a romance novel, maybe watches dramatic TV.

When she gets frustrated enough at living love through a stupid-ass novel, she hates other women who have loving husbands to distract her from her true craving for a man.

When she becomes too fat for her own ideals, she begins an exercise regime just to feel good enough about herself to keep her authentic craving for a man at bay.

When she hates other women long enough for having what she believes she doesn’t have, she uses work to feel good about herself.

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

‘That bitch has got a man and beautiful kids, but I’M successful.’

But still the truth is this… our running from our craving is really just a stupid strategy and story that we adopted somewhere along the way that helped us deal with the fact that in our heart, we have a desire to surrender to a trustworthy man.

And, our distraction strategies work. We can’t always feel all our truest cravings – we wouldn’t be able to live our lives and still feel safe.

And there’s a problem with surrendering to our truest nature and our truest heart’s desire.

Because if we wanted a man who rips us open and causes us to surrender in love that badly, then what if other women judge us for being who we really are?

And more – what if we get hurt? What if my heart gets broken? What if I then had to face all the feelings of inadequacy that come with love?

What if I’m truly NOT enough?

Our living out of our true craving magnifies other’s emotions, even in men.

And our fakeness, living a lie and superficiality can always be confirmed by the people round us who prefer to keep us where we are, treating us, perhaps, like the unemotional beings that we appear to be.

Inside, we’re not though. We are raging, we are hurting, we are craving to surrender to a man, we have deeper love to offer almost anyone but we struggle to show it, AND sometimes we want to kill, sometimes we hate, sometimes we love so deeply it feels like it’s too much for our bodies, sometimes we really just want to be the mommy or the cheerleader we secretly always wanted to be, or the bubbly goddess, but hell, other women will hate us or reject us for it, maybe. Because bitchy.

So we turn to substitutes.

Substitutes for love, which is at the core of WHO we are, even though how we all want to show it may come out differently, and uniquely.

I’ve used substitutes, and sometimes I still use them when I’m scared.

Love is hard because it is. And what IS isn’t enough these days. We have to ‘have’ something, we have to ‘be’ successful, we have to ‘be’ worthy. Or something.

You know those women who deny that they want any relationship, but the way their denial comes out, in itself, feels aggressive and defensive to you?

(That’s how intense our core wants us to exist and offer the love that we are.)

We are all those women who deny we want to experience love, or could potentially have been.

16 year olds are this woman, and 75 year olds are this woman.

Women in marriages can be this woman.

Waiting and waiting some more. Waiting with food, waiting with friends, waiting with movies, waiting with novels, waiting with superficial sex with the hottest guys.

Because waiting distracts us, and makes us feel worthy for long enough that we don’t have to sit on the bathroom floor in despair over our true heart’s craving for a man.

(Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Food never replaces his loving presence.

Work never replaces his embrace.

Porn never substitutes for his penetration; trustable emotional and physical penetration.

Romance novels never compare to a real life love story that’s so imperfect is becomes perfect.

The men who devote their heart and soul to us are the ones who are ready to meet our vulnerable craving, loving hearts. Anything less and he chooses another who exudes open hearted craving and loving.

In my belief, the devoted men are not looking for the breast implants, not the make up.

Not the well conditioned hair.

Not the perfectly sculpted bum.

Not the tanned skin, not the long legs.

Not the perfect freckles, not the exotic face.

Not the perfect dress or bikini. Not the perfect smile.

Just perfectly vulnerably existing, open hearted craving for a man.

Are you ready to believe that?

It’s ok if you’re not. It is waiting for us when we are ready.

When we are ready, we can drop the importance of the make up and the cute clothes and designer purchases, and instead, just crave openly through our bodies and our gait, our breath and our eyes, and the devoted man who is sensitive to our existence and strong enough to protect, will come forward and claim us, for that’s what he needs.

Find out how your vulnerability can inspire men, click here.

Love,

Renee.

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71 Comments on "Vulnerable Craving Hearts Attract Devoted and Trustworthy Men"

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Kathy
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Beautiful :’) bought tears to my eyes.

Conservative Viking
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This article hit me hard. Renee knows strong men and what they represent. My wife has serious self esteem issues that have nearly destroyed the last thread left between us. The lies. The cheating. It never stops no matter how good I am to her. I’ve forgiven it all but she doesn’t understand or can’t allow herself to be the vulnerable, loving woman I need. I have a primal urge to love, cherish and protect her. She’s beautiful to me and loving/making love to her is always on my mind. She’s just too closed and guarded to let me in.… Read more »
Peter
Guest

Good god missy – you can’t possibly be that open and direct and not expect a bitchiness of some sort to strike you (or so we are led to believe).
What a fantasticly open perspective though – thank you for sharing it – and really, just thank you for actually being a woman properly – not a little girl, not a mad bitch, just a woman.

Peter G

Niceice
Guest

Ugh, the more I read this place, the more it sounds like it caters exclusively to heterosexual women and just gleefully wants to continue telling women it’s okay to look at themselves as “children” in relationships. It sounds like a whiny Taylor-Swift fan wrote this website.

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Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
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Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

Is that last sentence in the largest paragraph correct the way it is? “Because bitchy”?

I don’t get it.

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Viki Samoja
Guest
As a man, i can honestly say everything Renee says is true, i need to point out a few things tough. What is important to know is that men are just as supressed and insecure as you are. Our whole life it was drummed into our head that masculinity is something dirty, monsterous and evil. Many men this days repress a masculne man inside themselves, as to not offend women around them. What is important to know is men have a natural tendency to protect women, and we were led to believe that even glimpsing our masculinity would hurt them… Read more »
Kevin
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Do women REALLY crave a man ?? This is coming from a guy that has observed shockingly mean & nasty behaviour from mainly young women. Have worked as door staff @ various venues & have witnessed countless times girls enticing guys to buy them drinks…then immediately giving a ” F*** OFF CREEP !! ” type rejection & then laughing at them & going for as much humiliation as possible…I took great pleasure in then ejecting them from one venue…alcohol & frustrated & humiliated young guys = trouble !! Also I was snarled at then kicked by a young “woman “..my… Read more »
Cassie
Guest

My goodness! Where do you live?!? Where do you socialize? I have personally never met these hateful women you are describing. I think perhaps you need some new surroundings. Quality ladies do NOT behave this way.
And yes, women do crave men. Self-aware and confident women are not afraid to admit wanting and needing a man.

Screw_Globalism
Guest

Cassie , I live in Nottingham UK , & thank you for your positive comments ! I’m about to separate from my soon to be ex wife & will be staying single post divorce & will be moving to pastures new once my children are grown up ,but for now they need me. Being single also means I can be a better dad.

Noah brandini
Guest

In the United States it’s very common this behaviour in nightclubs and with young women.

Phoebe
Guest

Women don’t crave men- they crave masculine, trustworthy, loving men! Most men aren’t in touch with their masculinity and their integrity , so it’s no wonder they attract those kinds of women. A true man would get to know a woman before offering to buy her a drink.

Cassie- I agree. I never acted nasty like that.

Screw_Globalism
Guest

Phoebe , part of the problem is that the controlled ” media ” seeks to poison everyone’s minds to make us fear & hate each other , ie men are always portrayed as stupid sex crazed expendable morons , so it’s little wonder a large percentage of women view men as lesser beings , women as emotional thinkers are more prone to this negative programming…” Divide & Rule ” at work.

Pooja Pophale
Guest

Choose the woman carefully Kevin.

Peter
Guest

That’s just reactionary behavior – takes some balls to digest it as such though.

Chrysalis
Guest
Hi Renee, Thanks for the article. I feel the word “vulnerable” is a pretty loaded word. Vulnerable does not mean weak, though we tend to confuse it with weakness. Especially, when a man tries to dominate and control power in a relationship. We want to be taken care of, pampered, protected, be able to express our feelings but at the same time we have to be strong and to be honest with ourselves about what we want in life and to count on our instincts to be able to move on with life when a man is non existent in… Read more »

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