This can be a tricky one. Often, we women, especially younger women, are attracted to the ‘bad guy’. The bad guy is usually the type of guy who looks great, has many great masculine qualities, and may be a bit of a charmer. Often, they know how to trigger attraction in a woman. They may not know it consciously, but they definitely make a habit of it, because they get the results they want!! (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

The bad guy is the guy you and I might believe can protect us, make us feel like a little girl again, has a great presence about him, stands nice and tall, and to top it all off, of course he usually appears to have A LOT of confidence. (Sometimes, however, this apparent confidence can be a disguise for a deeper set of thoughts or issues he has). A bad guy would normally be VERY good at what he does for a living. Often he may even be the best at what he does. He might also be extremely good at popular sports, or a popular sport, like football! He might very well be the ALPHA MALE in a certain group! Although, this is not always the case.

There is one problem with the typical bad guy that women these days are attracted to. They may not stay FAITHFUL or LOYAL to you! This is difficult since the bad guy really can be quite attractive! So, you might be highly attracted to him, whether sexually, or emotionally.This is where a lot of women trap themselves; they know they SHOULD  avoid this type of guy, BUT they can’t help themselves! Sometimes, you might be too scared to leave this guy out of a fear of being lonely.

So, there is a way to deal with this situation. I strongly believe that a man can have the quality of being a bad guy as well as being the good guy. He can have both in his character. Admitted, there are always contradictions in life, but what I’m talking about here is a strong set of values that a guy might have, and will not break. So they can be sensitive, care a lot about you, NEVER leave you, and never be with any other woman nor want to be. When necessary, they can also be the bad guy, the one who breaks the rules. But NEVER the rules that relate to his girl! These men ARE rare, however. Not many men hold themselves to this standard. It is up to you to attract your ideal man in to your life! More importantly, you have to be so outstanding that you would attract this kind of man in to your life!

To start you off: in order to attract the kind of man you want, and have a lifelong romance with him, you will need to become aware of what kind of man is right for you. It is important that you get this right for yourself, as it can be confusing. You may be attracted to a man, but he will be useless in a relationship with you! (Click here to download the Goddess Report)

So, in order to become aware of what kind of man IS right for you, you simply need to write a list. I know this may sound flippant, but it can be really helpful for you. The reason is because who you choose to be in a relationship with  will be a key factor, most likely the most important factor in ensuring your lifelong happiness! SELECTION  is vitally important!

On your list, you’ll need to draw a line down the middle. on one side, label ‘qualities I want in a man’, and on the other side, label it ‘qualities I don’t like’. Be honest, and go crazy with it. Once you’re done, you’ll be more clear about what you want, and then be more aware of what it is you’re after in your love life!

Of course, as you know, nobody is perfect. So I’m not asking you to filter out any man who may appear to have one or two of the bad qualities you have on your list. It is ultimately up to you to decide whether these ‘bad’ qualities are serious enough for you to rule out a relationship with him.

‘Til next time, have a lovely day and take good care 🙂

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Do you want to know what attracts a man naturally. Click here to download the 17 Attraction Triggers.


  • PrincessOfHoshido

    As a woman, I’ve always felt I have been on the more “masculine” side. I am very gifted intellectually (IQ 135), and have always been highly rational, analytical, and self-sufficient. On top of that, I tend to be a bit aggressive, tend to avoid my emotions, and the thought of settling into a domestic life with children makes me choke. I think I’ve long been afraid of always being “one of the guys”, since I have mostly male friends but no relationship in years. It has never devastated me, but always made me feel like I was ugly, annoying, or otherwise undesirable.

    I have some of your articles, and it has really helped me to understand more about myself and my feminine side, and helped me to start loving who I am. I have realized that at my core, I am not and never will be a “goddess”. I will never be able to give in completely to a man, nor live a domestic life as a housewife. I am simply more masculine than the typical woman in how I favor rationalism over emotion in how I function, and am far to curious and intrepid to give up that more masculine side.

    However, I do have a more creative, emotional side that I tend to suppress in fear of being weak. You’ve helped me realize that it is not weakness, but part of my feminine aspect and that it is a wonderful thing to allow these emotions and vulnerability in. I feel like I have a balance of masculine and feminine energy. I am no longer afraid of either one, and feel I can use this balance to accomplish incredible things in the world. I no longer feel like “one of the guys”, but simply a woman who sees the world with a twist. It is a freeing feeling, and it has helped me in the process of truly loving all aspects of me. For that, I thank you,

    • Super Janice

      You may be neutral in your core.

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  • Anna C

    hi Katty, I think what Renée is talking about with the bad boy (and she says bad guy with has a creatively subconscious connotation :)) is the guy with the dark energy, that is focused on being the king of the hill, that is passionate about his interests (which may include you!) but inside the bad boy you may feel he’s never 100% commited to you. You may be lying next to him after a great night together and feel thrilled, but deep inside your heart you’ll wonder if he’ll ever be yours, completely. With the bad boy you’ll feel alive but you might not always feel secure. Contrast this with the provider guy, who is dependable, responsible, considers others’ needs before his, and that means yours. This is the guy who is the great father & is humble and has a good job that pays well, because he’s focused many years on carefully climbing the corporate ladder. Evolution may have created these 2 types of guys in response to the 2 main mating strategies: mating with as many women as possible (the bad boy) and pair bonding for a long time (the provider). Now because they are both natural women are drawn to both types. Often you find a woman who security provider guy then goes and sleeps with a bad boy because the excitement is not there with the provider guy. But what Renée is trying to say is that you could bring out the bad boy in any type of provider guy and you could probably bring out the provider God in a bad boy as well depending on how you show up in the relationship. However I find that it’s easier to bring out the Bad boy in a provider guy by first being wild and fun and free. But that’s just from my experience. Anyways this is been way too much information for your simple question of how to tell whether it’s a bad boy. But to recap a bad boy it’s usually the one with more passion and dark energy and excitement and charm but may not always make you feel secure in your heart.

    • kofybean

      “Evolution may have created…” I dont think you know what you are saying.

  • Holly

    Hello Renee 🙂

    I hope that your doing well and your new family. Baby Tyson is adorable, I can see you in him.

    I love the new layout on the blog, it’s great to use on my mobile; im finding it easier, although for some reason when I’m writing and make a mistake on my phone the page flips into mid writing so I can’t get to the bottom of the page. It could be a mobile phone error though.

    This is a great article and makes perfect sense. I love what your about.

    For sure I’m going to do one of those lists now as it sounds
    very clever. I’ve never thought about a deal breakers list so I’ll give it a try.

    Thankfully I can say that I’ve never been attracted to the bad boy type. I’m very sensitive and it would wreak havoc on my nervous system. I steer clear of anything that I sense would be trouble. A none commited man is my biggest deal breaker/a man who would cheat.

    I would like to add also on an article ive just read and was replying to but my mobile lost my writing mid page. I have a friend (I’ll call him friend a).

    Friend (a), tells me he likes me whilst spending time with him, he uses the term that he loves me/in love with me, asks me to marry him on seperate occasions throughout the day.

    Luckily for me I am well and truly wised up, I’ve done my research, made a consiouse habbit to the extreme of learning men’s behavior.

    For starters he didn’t say it with any meaning in his voice, he was checking out other women in the pub with pleasure and what I’d describe in a way a man would do it to hurt another woman/to get a reaction.

    It’s a shame really as sadly some women would buy into that bulls**t and eat it up but I couldn’t be less attracted to that man I know.

    He has a skin condition so that’s his reason for not working, he seems out for what he can get from people/people often pay for things for him, like he always seems to get free drinks from people, ect.

    His parents seem to be overly protective off him and I get the impression that they’ve bailed him out when he get’s into trouble.

    I don’t know the full story, I’m just going off my observations.

    It’s up to him how he lives his life but I can’t be attracted to him when he’s not working or taking his life seriously. Doe’s sociable drugs and lives purpose is raving. He talks about other women and checks them out in a way that would be disrespectful to other women.

    He has good points too and that’s why he’s a long distance friend, I could never take him seriously for anything more.

    The bottom line is in my opinion is that actions speak louder than words. If I can see by a mans actions that a man is a good person with his own life then that’s a good bet but any if the sweet talk is nothing other than a plan to tell a woman what she wants to hear and how you get her to have sex.

    I’d say also that small meaningless actions shouldn’t be dismissed as that could be key insight into someones character. If someone is late then is it just really true insight into someone’s true colors. I recon so and I’d watch out for weather a person is likely to do that as a person. Of course anyone can be late but it’s all about a feeling of, is it really them.

    A man I met up with back at Christmas time was good at giving me the sweet talk but when I met up with him for the first time he left me by myself whilst he went off and chatted to other people (it was at his Christmas football celebration).

    One thing that made me think OMG was a woman their flirting with other men, draping herself all over her friends bf on the dance floor being close enough to his face to kiss him. Supricingly she was doing the same thing to the man I’d came with and he actually told me that she was trying it on with him, going to almost kiss him ect.

    All I can think is, lol, he actually told me. As if he expected me to buy into his words.

    I believe that really I just saw his true colors and sure,
    I recon that was his true personality and what he’d be like in a relationship, even if he was capable of loving a woman.

    I’d say that with a good a man a woman should be able to sense that he’s a good man, like in her mind that she can’t imagine him to be any other way.

    Theirs a man who works in the library by my home and I could not imagine him to be anything less than a good, honest man.

    Obviously it takes time to truly get to know a man but I’d say it’s all about the senses and good feeling.

    I sense that you can usually tell what a man is really like with his actions.

  • katty

    Hi Renee
    tnx for your vise advice,
    but how can be sure that a guy is a bad guy?

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