Why Men Won’t Commit
Why won’t he commit to me?
Many women ask this question. This article will give you a guy’s perspective on why some men find it hard to, or don’t want to commit.
First of all, let me ask you a few questions:
Would you love to commit to a $2,000 a month mortgage?
Would you love to commit to taking the trash out every week?
Would you love to commit to doing the dish washing every single day?
In all the above questions, the word commit has a very obligatory undertone. It almost feels like committing to something would mean that we would be obligated to do something and we would therefore have to surrender our own freedom.
The word committment almost has a feel of “I don’t really want to do this, but I have to, or I should but it’s not going to be the most pleasant experience.”
Got to do Something Vs GET to do Something
Feeling like you’re obligated to do something never feels that good. Life is a lot more fun when you get to do something, not when you got to do something! Men know this subconsciously.
One of the biggest desires for men, regardless of tradition or culture, is freedom. The Masculine energy strives to break free and experience freedom. It wants release from the constraints of life.
Some men fight for their whole lives for freedom, and to experience freedom. Usually once they find that sense of freedom, they would never let it go.
Obligation murders freedom.
When we love to do something, it is never an obligation. You don’t ever hear men complaining about going to golf – but work is a different matter. More people die on Monday mornings at 9am than any other time in the week. Coincidence?
Tell me ladies, is it easy or hard to commit to a shopping spree?
What about committing to washing the dishes every day? Is there a difference?
What does it really mean for a man to commit to a woman?
From a man’s perspective, he would have to buy stuff for you, spend lots of money, (it’s not so bad if he’s got the money to spend, but if he doesn’t…), spend time with you listening to all the good and bad stuff that you have to say, spend time when you request his presence etc.
From his perspective, he will have to fork out all these resources, so the question he will ask, (consciously or subconsciously), is whether you are worth all this or not. Some men just don’t want to deal with the excess baggage that women sometimes carry. It doesn’t make the man feel good whilst being with you, and the last thing you want to create for him is a terrible association with you and the thought of you.
It all goes back to men and their desire to feel free. So while you’re reading this, and feeling that perhaps men are not willing to GROW UP, just remember, it has nothing to do with growing up. It is men’s desire for freedom. If they didn’t desire it, they wouldn’t be men, and you wouldn’t feel attraction for them in the first place.
The point is; if you want a man to commit, if you want a passionate, happy long-lasting relationship, don’t ask for your man to commit. If you ask that of him, and he delivers this “commitment” even though he knows he will feel less freedom because of it, then you are taking away his masculinity and what makes you attracted to him in the first place.
By saying you’re taking that away, he’s really just surrendering it. What will happen after a while, is that, sure he’s around you more often, but you’ll have less attraction for him. You’ll have the security of his presence by your side, but you’re trading off the passion that you could create in the relationship.
There is NO committment needed when you do the things you love to do. You just do it.
The answer to the problem
So instead of asking the question of why he will not commit, I suggest asking a better question.
Such as this…”How can I create more passion and attraction between him and me, so that he won’t want to be anywhere else?” or “How can I build up the excitement and tension between him and I so that he would feel like never going anywhere else?”
The power you have is in the attraction you can create between him and you.
A man already has so many responsibilities and obligations, as well as demands on him in life that you if YOU can be his source of freedom, then being with you will never feel like an obligation because there’s so much passion between you.
It’s a horrible thing for a man to go to work and then come home to yet another obligation. I’m sure you sometimes feel the same, right?
If you created that passion and excitement between the both of you, he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else. You certainly won’t have a problem with him committing; he’d love to be around you.
And if you want to get more of an understanding of men and inspire him to commit fully to you, everything is in my Commitment Control Course:
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