Why Men Won’t Commit to Me?

Why Men Won’t Commit to Me?

Why Men Won’t Commit

Why won’t he commit to me?

Many women ask this question. This article will give you a guy’s perspective on why some men find it hard to, or don’t want to commit.

(Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

First of all, let me ask you a few questions:

Would you love to commit to a $2,000 a month mortgage?

Would you love to commit to taking the trash out every week?

Would you love to commit to doing the dish washing every single day?

In all the above questions, the word commit has a very obligatory undertone. It almost feels like committing to something would mean that we would be obligated to do something and we would therefore have to surrender our own freedom.

The word commitment almost has a feel of “I don’t really want to do this, but I have to, or I should but it’s not going to be the most pleasant experience.”

Got to do Something Vs GET to do Something

Feeling like you’re obligated to do something never feels that good. Life is a lot more fun when you get to do something, not when you got to do something! Men know this subconsciously.

One of the biggest desires for men, regardless of tradition or culture, is freedom. The Masculine energy strives to break free and experience freedom. It wants release from the constraints of life. 

Some men fight for their whole lives for freedom, and to experience freedom. Usually once they find that sense of freedom, they would never let it go. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Obligation murders freedom

When we love to do something, it is never an obligation. You don’t ever hear men complaining about going to golf – but work is a different matter. More people die on Monday mornings at 9am than any other time in the week. Coincidence?

Tell me ladies, is it easy or hard to commit to a shopping spree?

What about committing to washing the dishes every day? Is there a difference?

What does it really mean for a man to commit to a woman?

From a man’s perspective, he would have to buy stuff for you, spend lots of money, (it’s not so bad if he’s got the money to spend, but if he doesn’t…), spend time with you listening to all the good and bad stuff that you have to say, spend time when you request his presence etc.

From his perspective, he will have to fork out all these resources, so the question he will ask, (consciously or subconsciously), is whether you are worth all this or not. Some men just don’t want to deal with the excess baggage that women sometimes carry. It doesn’t make the man feel good whilst being with you, and the last thing you want to create for him is a terrible association with you and the thought of you.

It all goes back to men and their desire to feel free. So while you’re reading this, and feeling that perhaps men are not willing to GROW UP, just remember, it has nothing to do with growing up. It is men’s desire for freedom. If they didn’t desire it, they wouldn’t be men, and you wouldn’t feel attraction for them in the first place.

The point is; if you want a man to commit, if you want a passionate, happy long-lasting  relationship, don’t ask for your man to commit. If you ask that of him, and he delivers this “commitment” even though he knows he will feel less freedom because of it, then you are taking away his masculinity and what makes you attracted to him in the first place.

By saying you’re taking that away, he’s really just surrendering it. What will happen after a while, is that, sure he’s around you more often, but you’ll have less attraction for him. You’ll have the security of his presence by your side, but you’re trading off the passion that you could create in the relationship.

There is NO commitment needed when you do the things you love to do. You just do it.

The answer to the problem…

So instead of asking the question of why he will not commit, I suggest asking a better question.

Such as this…”How can I create more passion and attraction between him and me, so that he won’t want to be anywhere else?” or “How can I build up the excitement and tension between him and I so that he would feel like never going anywhere else?”

The power you have is in the attraction you can create between him and you.

A man already has so many responsibilities and obligations, as well as demands on him in life that you if YOU can be his source of freedom, then being with you will never feel like an obligation because there’s so much passion between you.

It’s a horrible thing for a man to go to work and then come home to yet another obligation. I’m sure you sometimes feel the same, right?

If you created that passion and excitement between the both of you, he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else. You certainly won’t have a problem with him committing; he’d love to be around you.

And if you want to get more of an understanding of men and inspire him to commit fully to you, click here to register and watch the Commitment Masterclass.

See Article: Why He Pulls Away From Me and the Relationship?

And also: Why He Disappears and Withdraws? What Can I do about it?

What did you think of this article? Any opinion, thoughts, questions or objections, fire away!


  • Dave

    Men aren’t afraid of commitment, they are afraid of divorce and family court judges that impoverish men for the rest of their lives. Face it ladies, the feminist movement has succeeded in destroying marriage that they often refer to as patriarchal. Ironically, the wedding service is called matrimony and not patrimony.
    You are reaping the benefits of what you asked for and you will slowly learn about the law of unintended consequence.
    On the plus side, women should be celebrating their independence. Look at all the money you will save by not having to purchase wedding gowns.
    As Powers Booth once said, bye.

  • DeltaPeng

    For me, I’m trying to find a women I can respect and find real attraction for. And the ones I find interesting, don’t seem to give me a chance or the time of day, or respond to my messages (per online dating). Communication is high on my list, so that pretty much cuts them out of the list of potentials, but it’s a frustrating thing not even getting a chance or word back from so many people (whether it be people being too picky, or fearful, Idk).

    Per respect, perhaps my standards are too high, but I’ve been checking the online dating scene and it seems mostly like girls just want to have fun and find a guy who can make them laugh. Or to travel the world, and I understand some people enjoy that (I prefer being at home).

    I think the issue with that is then, like you mentioned in the article, it makes the pursuit per dating not feel worthwhile for me (as presumably other men). I already feel a lot of pressure in the struggling economy to find good and stable work, but to then feel like getting into a relationship would just add to my stress and financial burdens, while/for women are just looking for someone to do that all for them, well it just feels unbalanced / unfair to me. [rabbit trail: Granted, per the specifics of online dating profiles, perhaps it really is best (for women/men) to not be so serious as to put forth all your good / fun side only, I could be overthinking it. Even outside of this, though, I don’t tend to see much…future minded women, they want to be married, have a family and kids, but they don’t seem to have a plan, they seem to just wait and hope to be swept off their feet by Mr. Right? Though perhaps it is just that men may be better at the long term financial stuff. I appreciate in the article that it mentions women can and have some kind of responsibility to understanding men and how to be attractive to them, or at least point out that just waiting makes it at least feel/seem like a bad value transition for a man to go from being single to get into a relationship if the woman just sits/waits for it]

    Anyway, aside from that rabbit trail, I think a women who can communicate well and is willing to make time and be with me is pretty big, and if I can find them attractive outwardly as well [rabbit trail: I’m sorry if this seems shallow but, it is important to me and most guys on at least some level, not to say women need starve themselves. Just clean up and look nice. Smile and be nice to us, spend time and become a friend and supporter. Try new things with us, we want life partners.], is adequate at least in starting a more serious relationship. Seems like such a struggle to get to that place / find such women, though. Here’s hoping things change. I think you hit the nail on the head on more than a few points though, thanks for the article.

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