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Article updated 2018

This is one of the most important posts for women to read. If you haven’t read any of my my other articles yet (even if you have read them all), I suggest you put this towards the top of the priority list 😉

Fake Femininity. A lot is said about what femininity is, and how to be feminine, but not a lot is said about fake femininity. I’ve been asked the following questions before; ‘if I act mysterious, isn’t that manipulative?!’ ‘I’m not sure I want to play dating games, they seem like games of the heart!’ ‘if i play hard to get, does that make me fake or manipulative?’

The answer is, it depends. What on? The place you come from. If you do things and come from a harsh place when you do them, then you’re acting manipulative and insincere. Games are for fun, and playing hard to get or becoming more feminine doesn’t make you insincere.It makes you more fun, interesting, lovable and flirtatious. It can cause unbelievable passion and excitement in your relationship, if you come from the right place in your heart. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Some women wonder why they should be something they’re “not” and scoff at the idea of femininity and becoming more vulnerable because they don’t want to be fake or manipulative. If you’re naturally feminine at your core, and have been taught along the way to suppress it – the act of bringing out your feminine core does not make you fake! It just make you more of yourself. (read my article about how to be feminine)

I know that feminine can be male or female, but if a woman is more feminine at her core, then bringing out her femininity is simply an act of freeing herself. We have been taught in the modern western world to be strong, competitive, to step on others to get ahead, to get that degree, to be ‘intelligent’. But really, it all means little at the end.

All you take with you when you pass are your memories, and the knowledge that you’ve either made people happier, inspired them, loved them – or that you really didn’t do your best, and that you in fact hurt a lot of people and didn’t make an effort to amend anything.

The idea behind Femininity

The concept behind becoming more feminine is all about being confident in being a woman and being womanly, being true to yourself and others, loving yourself and others, becoming a leader, freeing yourself, being honest, and most importantly – to have a more fulfilling, passionate, happy and loving relationship with your man or future man. It’s about acknowledging that feminine is the opposite of masculine, and using it to benefit your life, relationships and your health.

Femininity is also about acknowledging the sheer power behind this amazing sexual essence and what it can do for the masculine energy. A feminine woman can propel a man to incredible greatness and success and make him happier than he could have ever imagined.

Feminine energy serves masculine energy, and masculine serves the feminine. If two people are masculine in a relationship, you have a problem. So many women go head to head with their men and develop this huge masculine ego and need to be right, all the while confusing their men, and making their men feel less and less important and powerful. (read my article about how to radiate deeper femininity and attract a man you can trust)

I’m not saying you can’t have ideas of your own – of course not. All women need to be able to hold their own, challenge their man and do what’s necessary to get things done. A man also needs to know that he can rely on his woman to take necessary action if needed when he is (for whatever reason) incapable or unavailable. Still, men are generally naturally built stronger and faster than women.

A lot of women reject their feminine essence because they’re afraid of it, and they think that they have to reject it and become more masculine in order to protect themselves and to get ahead. Some women have been through hell in their lives, they may have been raped, and they may have painful stories that gives a clear reason for why they choose to not be vulnerable. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Some women have been beaten and left by a man, and they then feel they can no longer trust a man to be there for her. Men are here to protect and take care of women, fight and rise to a challenge and conquer (among other things) and women are here to give life and spread love and energy (among other things).

It still doesn’t mean however, that there are not egocentric men who don’t give anything beyond themselves, and live purely for themselves all the while stepping all over anyone in their way (women included).

Sometimes, mothers and fathers encourage the masculine in their daughters, and reject any vulnerability. Some parents abuse their children, and the child has to become more hard and ‘impenetrable’ in order to survive. This picture occurs not just in this kind of situation, either. Often, peer influence or the influence of men who are more feminized who scoff at the vulnerability of women also cause this result. There are a whole host of reasons why women may have rejected the vulnerability inside of them. We all have a story as to why.

What is Fake Feminine?

I’m going to get back to the main topic now. Fake femininity occurs when a woman uses her vulnerability or sexual charms (basically, anything that is feminine AND has power with men) insincerely to get a result. So, a woman who doesn’t normally live in her true feminine may momentarily “act” vulnerable in order to get a certain result that is related primarily to her own needs.

So, instead of using her femininity for the better, she is subconsciously or consciously using what she knows works on men in an insincere way, and coming from a harsh place, in order to get a man to do something for her.

Granted, women who are genuine do this too – BUT the difference is that they come from the right place in their heart, and also that they generally have a good, healthy balance in their relationship with their man to start with, so asking for something to be done for them could never come across as ‘manipulative’ simply because she does care for her man (and he would know this) and she isn’t always selfish and egocentric (and doesn’t live there).

Most people today live life thinking about and serving themselves. People are so hungry to feel loved that they forget that a part of being loved and feeling love is about GIVING it to start with.

There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…

He’s not a fool

Ladies, good men are not fools. They have their own version of knowingness, too. It may not compare to the female intuition BUT a non-egocentric man who equally uses his masculinity for the better will never, ever be fooled by such b******t.

In fact a good man cannot stand this. He may fall for it the first few times, and then start to hate the woman because quite frankly, NO ONE likes to be taken for a fool! Especially men. Any good man who is chivalrous will help women, children and other men in distress.

What is manipulation and what does it mean to be insincere?

The words ‘insincerity’ and ‘manipulative’ are synonymous with the type of person who doesn’t care for others, and doesn’t have other people’s best interests at heart.

If you use whatever feminine charms you have to get a result simply for yourself and just always USE up resources whilst never giving anything back, you’re acting and being manipulative. (read my article about the differences between a little girl and a woman)

I say acting because you are not what you do. What you do is not who you are. We all have enormous power within us to be a force for good. Humans are extraordinary creatures. Even if you have been manipulative in the past, you can change.

It’s not too hard. Just give to people without expecting anything back, strike a balance between being nice and being feisty, firm and challenging, embrace the different ‘yous’ you have inside you, use them for the better whilst coming from a good place in your heart, and you’ll start to see a healthy balance of love and reciprocation of love and adoration in your relationships.

What else does fake feminine encompass?

Fake feminine also encompasses the physical. A lot of women put a lot of effort in to getting the perfect feminine and shiny hairstyle, getting the outfit right, getting the makeup right, sitting right, talking right, following fashion and labels (I love fashion myself, I don’t have anything against designer gear, I just think it’s unhealthy for women to become fashion victims and become a slave to what the fashion world wants you to do/wear).

I have said before that in the modern western world, we’ve mistaken femininity to mean physical attractiveness. Femininity is about looking pretty and wanting to look pretty, but it’s more about how a woman feels on the inside. (read my article about the feminine beauty)

A lot of women get breast implants to feel more feminine, (just as an example). They feel that because they have small breasts, they are not a real woman. This is untrue. Take a look around. There are tonnes and tonnes of stunningly beautiful women with small breasts whom men would give their left nut to be with.

This is because these women are real, happy and confident on the inside. And, whatever you focus on, you will see. If a woman wants to validate her belief that big breasts will get her more love from men, there are plenty of references she could use to validate that belief. There are also plenty of examples to validate the opposite belief, as well.

Women spend so much time looking good that they have lost touch with their spirituality and have no idea what life is all about for them. They don’t really know themselves.

There is a story of a young girl (a true story) who expected to become prom queen. She didn’t end up becoming prom queen, even though she expected to, and directed all her energy towards becoming prom queen. Guess what she did? She committed suicide. Can you imagine what she believed? What her primary focus was?

The perception of beauty

Looking good is great. There’s nothing wrong with spending hours on dressing yourself up at all. It’s about where your focus is habitually, and what your beliefs are. If a woman chases physical perfection, she will never, ever find happiness. It is a feminine trait to want to look good and to be noticed and to feel pretty and beautiful, but women whose feeling of self worth rests on this whole concept is extremely dangerous.

What if a very desirable supermodel walked in to the room? Her whole foundation is shattered. I’m not saying it isn’t possible to want to look good and still feel like you look good when a supermodel walks in to the room, but for a lot of women who are constantly ‘competing’ with other women, there is no end. There never will be.

And anyway, no matter how pretty you think you are, there will always be someone prettier, no matter how intelligent you think you are, there will always be someone who is more intelligent.

No matter how sexy you think you are, there’s always going to be someone who is sexier. Why? Because everybody’s perception is different, and just because a woman is voted most desirable by a popular men’s magazine doesn’t mean every man in the world will agree with the notion.

We have discussed more about femininity in our program Attraction Control Monthly and 17 Attraction Triggers, click here to find out more.

By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!

So what is life all about then?

How would you live a fulfilling and happy life and have a fulfilling and happy relationship, knowing all of this?

How would a woman be truly feminine, confident in herself and be truly happy?

Please share with me your thoughts 🙂

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P.S. Connect with me on social media

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StarsCollide
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StarsCollide

I like these kind of read.

amsterdam seeds
Guest

I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website.
It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit
more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?

Exceptional work!

Holly
Guest
Holly

Noooooooooooooo!! That’s tragic, I can’t believe someone took their life because they didn’t win prom queen. What has this world come to. I shouldn’t be too surprised with the impact the media has on society.It’s such a terrible shame and I’m so sorry to read what’s happened. On a more positive note, this is just thing I needed to read. I’ve been confused for some time and often I get into conversations with my ex/the farther of my child who is a good friend, I constantly ask him questions on my sexuality and weather I appear feminine or not and… Read more »

sunita
Guest
sunita

Hi thanks for putting the perspective back to self

A
Guest
A

Hi, Renee. I’ve been wondering, after reading your site for the past few weeks: how do I KNOW whether my energy is primarly femenine or not? There are so many things about what I’ve been to date that are… harsh; that I am out of defense, I realize, but still, some or lots of the things I am or do can be taken for masculine I suppose. Not most of them. But a whole lot of them. And I’ve never been able, so far, to relate or identify myself with the women I’ve met (because they were all bitchy, competitive… Read more »

Uly
Guest
Uly

“There are tonnes and tonnes of stunningly beautiful women with small breasts whom men would give their left nut to be with.”

So funny! I literally LOL’d

xx

Kendra
Guest
Kendra

This is a very good article and I agree on the importance of knowing the difference between true feminity and fake femininity. I believe a woman who’s truly feminine has come to peace who she is and works it! She’s all about giving life and spreading joy. She’s certain in who she is. This spreads to her work, her friendships, and relationships. It will all reflect and harmonize who she is. I think with fake femininity you may get what you want but you’re still going to be unfulfilled and lost.

Malulani
Guest
Malulani

Interesting.. it has been confusing on being feminine. perhaps I am with the wrong men or man. I have been caring, supportive and even give inspiration to others. Yet I cannot reveal my feminine side, it is something I am so unsure of. I do give out the vibe of hardworking woman focused on taking care of myself. When I meet men the first instance is they like me, but than they get so touchy and start getting really close up, I try to ask them to stand back at least a foot or two. but then they start talking… Read more »

Andrea
Guest
Andrea

I work in the fitness industry. Its very harsh…very competitive… very backstabbing. What Ive found is that I am not approached by men because I throw off a masculine vibe because when I train my clients or workout myself I am so focused and intense I throw a “I dont wanna be bothered”…”dont try to compete with me because u will loose vibe”. I have been hurt in love and that tends to compile the standoffish vibe I give off. What I realized is that I have been walking around with a wall up to protect myself and with that… Read more »

Jen
Guest
Jen

Very interesting post! As usual…I really dig this blog. I definitely agree that it’s a beautiful thing to acknowledge that your femininity is different and complimentary to a masculine man’s energy. Being a woman is beautiful. Still I have a point to contend with. I would caution that the goal shouldn’t be just to make your man or “future man” a better one. I disagree that being competitive, strong, “intelligent,” and having a degree means little in the end. Stepping on others is not the way to go for men or women…you will have to live with that. But still,… Read more »

Reem
Guest
Reem

There are a lot of unhappy women out there and some who are in a relationship and dont even realise that. Helping women recconect with their true essence is the best thing that can happen to them.

I feel more content and much happier and finding someone has become a secondary thing.

Thanks for all your effort, its much appreciated.

Kira
Guest
Kira

A man looking for physical appearance alone is not looking for a relationship, he’s looking for a one night stand or a short lived relationship he can easily break out of and yet, it’s amazing how many woman strive to look better than the next and believe that by doing so she’ll be lavished in love. Just as the less attractive woman have issues, the more sexier ones have problems of their own. For example, they have probably been taught that their looks is the only thing going for them and that if they lose that, they’ll lose everything. So,… Read more »

Annika
Guest
Annika

I have realised that I belong to the category “fake feminine” and I’m still just a teenager. I keep comparing myself to other girls and I feel like it’s never going to end. And I also have realised that I have some narcisstic peronality traits.

P
Guest
P

you know … the way you write really sends me off giggling … i don’t know how to put it … just your character i suppose …
or is it the feminine energy that your man induces in you? …
🙂
Anyway, it is lovely …

P
Guest
P

your website is so interesting and i visit from time to time to revise 🙂

P
Guest
P

also this one 🙂
http://www.innerself.com/Sex_Talk/Transforming_Sexual_Energy.htm

Renee
Guest
Renee

WOW P, that last link you left – wonderful. Thank You so much for sharing that!

I love the yin and yang theories! 🙂

P
Guest
P

Sorry it is me again 🙂
just come across this! don’t know if you like it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdsADrSJgoE&feature=related

by the way, do you have your email address?

i promise i wouldn’t spam you …
(just that if i see some interesting sites that i think you might be interested … )

Anyway, i can always leave a msg here 🙂

Renee
Guest
Renee

Thanks very much P! 🙂

P
Guest
P

All you take with you when you pass are your memories, and the knowledge that you’ve either made people happier, inspired them, loved them – or that you really didn’t do your best, and that you in fact hurt a lot of people and didn’t make an effort to amend anything.

i really love this, thank you 🙂

As is known, you are what you think, how you think, how you translate the world …
🙂

That’s my email address i’ve put down, you can contact me 🙂 i will be happy to have you as my friend 🙂

i appreciate your website 🙂

Jenny
Guest
Jenny

I love this post! And I love your blog 🙂 I was doing some soul searching today (as usual lol) and I came to realize that I have been trying so so SO hard to do everything “right” in order to please my man. And am doing all this research, to appease him … and I am constantly in my own head about how to do right by him. I have email’d you several times – to which you always give an amazing response – I just didn’t really “get it” until now. Embracing my femininity, finding my inner goddess,… Read more »

Renee
Guest
Renee

Hey Jenny! 🙂 yes, this is similar to what I was saying to you in our e-mail correspondence. You cannot always 100% of the time be doing things to please your man and to “keep the peace”, and to not do anything ‘wrong’ by him. Granted, you’re coming from a good place – you care and you care so much that you don’t want to upset him or make him feel bad, but at the end of the day this doesn’t serve your relationship. There’s a bitch in all of us, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using… Read more »

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