Article updated 2018
This is one of the most important posts for women to read. If you haven’t read any of my my other articles yet (even if you have read them all), I suggest you put this towards the top of the priority list 😉
Fake Femininity. A lot is said about what femininity is, and how to be feminine, but not a lot is said about fake femininity. I’ve been asked the following questions before; ‘if I act mysterious, isn’t that manipulative?!’ ‘I’m not sure I want to play dating games, they seem like games of the heart!’ ‘if i play hard to get, does that make me fake or manipulative?’
The answer is, it depends. What on? The place you come from. If you do things and come from a harsh place when you do them, then you’re acting manipulative and insincere. Games are for fun, and playing hard to get or becoming more feminine doesn’t make you insincere.It makes you more fun, interesting, lovable and flirtatious. It can cause unbelievable passion and excitement in your relationship, if you come from the right place in your heart. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)
Some women wonder why they should be something they’re “not” and scoff at the idea of femininity and becoming more vulnerable because they don’t want to be fake or manipulative. If you’re naturally feminine at your core, and have been taught along the way to suppress it – the act of bringing out your feminine core does not make you fake! It just make you more of yourself. (read my article about how to be feminine)
I know that feminine can be male or female, but if a woman is more feminine at her core, then bringing out her femininity is simply an act of freeing herself. We have been taught in the modern western world to be strong, competitive, to step on others to get ahead, to get that degree, to be ‘intelligent’. But really, it all means little at the end.
All you take with you when you pass are your memories, and the knowledge that you’ve either made people happier, inspired them, loved them – or that you really didn’t do your best, and that you in fact hurt a lot of people and didn’t make an effort to amend anything.
The idea behind Femininity
The concept behind becoming more feminine is all about being confident in being a woman and being womanly, being true to yourself and others, loving yourself and others, becoming a leader, freeing yourself, being honest, and most importantly – to have a more fulfilling, passionate, happy and loving relationship with your man or future man. It’s about acknowledging that feminine is the opposite of masculine, and using it to benefit your life, relationships and your health.
Femininity is also about acknowledging the sheer power behind this amazing sexual essence and what it can do for the masculine energy. A feminine woman can propel a man to incredible greatness and success and make him happier than he could have ever imagined.
Feminine energy serves masculine energy, and masculine serves the feminine. If two people are masculine in a relationship, you have a problem. So many women go head to head with their men and develop this huge masculine ego and need to be right, all the while confusing their men, and making their men feel less and less important and powerful. (read my article about how to radiate deeper femininity and attract a man you can trust)
I’m not saying you can’t have ideas of your own – of course not. All women need to be able to hold their own, challenge their man and do what’s necessary to get things done. A man also needs to know that he can rely on his woman to take necessary action if needed when he is (for whatever reason) incapable or unavailable. Still, men are generally naturally built stronger and faster than women.
A lot of women reject their feminine essence because they’re afraid of it, and they think that they have to reject it and become more masculine in order to protect themselves and to get ahead. Some women have been through hell in their lives, they may have been raped, and they may have painful stories that gives a clear reason for why they choose to not be vulnerable. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
Some women have been beaten and left by a man, and they then feel they can no longer trust a man to be there for her. Men are here to protect and take care of women, fight and rise to a challenge and conquer (among other things) and women are here to give life and spread love and energy (among other things).
It still doesn’t mean however, that there are not egocentric men who don’t give anything beyond themselves, and live purely for themselves all the while stepping all over anyone in their way (women included).
Sometimes, mothers and fathers encourage the masculine in their daughters, and reject any vulnerability. Some parents abuse their children, and the child has to become more hard and ‘impenetrable’ in order to survive. This picture occurs not just in this kind of situation, either. Often, peer influence or the influence of men who are more feminized who scoff at the vulnerability of women also cause this result. There are a whole host of reasons why women may have rejected the vulnerability inside of them. We all have a story as to why.
What is Fake Feminine?
I’m going to get back to the main topic now. Fake femininity occurs when a woman uses her vulnerability or sexual charms (basically, anything that is feminine AND has power with men) insincerely to get a result. So, a woman who doesn’t normally live in her true feminine may momentarily “act” vulnerable in order to get a certain result that is related primarily to her own needs.
So, instead of using her femininity for the better, she is subconsciously or consciously using what she knows works on men in an insincere way, and coming from a harsh place, in order to get a man to do something for her.
Granted, women who are genuine do this too – BUT the difference is that they come from the right place in their heart, and also that they generally have a good, healthy balance in their relationship with their man to start with, so asking for something to be done for them could never come across as ‘manipulative’ simply because she does care for her man (and he would know this) and she isn’t always selfish and egocentric (and doesn’t live there).
Most people today live life thinking about and serving themselves. People are so hungry to feel loved that they forget that a part of being loved and feeling love is about GIVING it to start with.
There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)? Click here to find out right now…
He’s not a fool
Ladies, good men are not fools. They have their own version of knowingness, too. It may not compare to the female intuition BUT a non-egocentric man who equally uses his masculinity for the better will never, ever be fooled by such b******t.
In fact a good man cannot stand this. He may fall for it the first few times, and then start to hate the woman because quite frankly, NO ONE likes to be taken for a fool! Especially men. Any good man who is chivalrous will help women, children and other men in distress.
What is manipulation and what does it mean to be insincere?
The words ‘insincerity’ and ‘manipulative’ are synonymous with the type of person who doesn’t care for others, and doesn’t have other people’s best interests at heart.
If you use whatever feminine charms you have to get a result simply for yourself and just always USE up resources whilst never giving anything back, you’re acting and being manipulative. (read my article about the differences between a little girl and a woman)
I say acting because you are not what you do. What you do is not who you are. We all have enormous power within us to be a force for good. Humans are extraordinary creatures. Even if you have been manipulative in the past, you can change.
It’s not too hard. Just give to people without expecting anything back, strike a balance between being nice and being feisty, firm and challenging, embrace the different ‘yous’ you have inside you, use them for the better whilst coming from a good place in your heart, and you’ll start to see a healthy balance of love and reciprocation of love and adoration in your relationships.
What else does fake feminine encompass?
Fake feminine also encompasses the physical. A lot of women put a lot of effort in to getting the perfect feminine and shiny hairstyle, getting the outfit right, getting the makeup right, sitting right, talking right, following fashion and labels (I love fashion myself, I don’t have anything against designer gear, I just think it’s unhealthy for women to become fashion victims and become a slave to what the fashion world wants you to do/wear).
I have said before that in the modern western world, we’ve mistaken femininity to mean physical attractiveness. Femininity is about looking pretty and wanting to look pretty, but it’s more about how a woman feels on the inside. (read my article about the feminine beauty)
A lot of women get breast implants to feel more feminine, (just as an example). They feel that because they have small breasts, they are not a real woman. This is untrue. Take a look around. There are tonnes and tonnes of stunningly beautiful women with small breasts whom men would give their left nut to be with.
This is because these women are real, happy and confident on the inside. And, whatever you focus on, you will see. If a woman wants to validate her belief that big breasts will get her more love from men, there are plenty of references she could use to validate that belief. There are also plenty of examples to validate the opposite belief, as well.
Women spend so much time looking good that they have lost touch with their spirituality and have no idea what life is all about for them. They don’t really know themselves.
There is a story of a young girl (a true story) who expected to become prom queen. She didn’t end up becoming prom queen, even though she expected to, and directed all her energy towards becoming prom queen. Guess what she did? She committed suicide. Can you imagine what she believed? What her primary focus was?
The perception of beauty
Looking good is great. There’s nothing wrong with spending hours on dressing yourself up at all. It’s about where your focus is habitually, and what your beliefs are. If a woman chases physical perfection, she will never, ever find happiness. It is a feminine trait to want to look good and to be noticed and to feel pretty and beautiful, but women whose feeling of self worth rests on this whole concept is extremely dangerous.
What if a very desirable supermodel walked in to the room? Her whole foundation is shattered. I’m not saying it isn’t possible to want to look good and still feel like you look good when a supermodel walks in to the room, but for a lot of women who are constantly ‘competing’ with other women, there is no end. There never will be.
And anyway, no matter how pretty you think you are, there will always be someone prettier, no matter how intelligent you think you are, there will always be someone who is more intelligent.
No matter how sexy you think you are, there’s always going to be someone who is sexier. Why? Because everybody’s perception is different, and just because a woman is voted most desirable by a popular men’s magazine doesn’t mean every man in the world will agree with the notion.
We have discussed more about femininity in our program Attraction Control Monthly and 17 Attraction Triggers, click here to find out more.
By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!
So what is life all about then?
How would you live a fulfilling and happy life and have a fulfilling and happy relationship, knowing all of this?
How would a woman be truly feminine, confident in herself and be truly happy?
Please share with me your thoughts 🙂
P.S. Connect with me on social media
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.