Finding Your True Purpose as A Feminine Woman

Article updated 2018

“Legacy is Greater than Currency”

One of the questions I often get is “What is a Woman’s purpose?”; “What are we supposed to DO with our lives?”; “What are we here for?”; “What is a feminine woman’s life purpose?”; “How do I find my life purpose?”.

Although every woman’s personal life purpose will be different, a woman’s true life purpose in general, really is to create and not destroy. It’s to live your passion so that you can be an example to others. It’s to find fulfillment, and to seek growth and contribution. And it’s also to deliver yourself, in your feminine true core to all the world. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

And as you would already know, women in many cultures today have been brainwashed in to thinking that if they’re not making any money, if they don’t have the typical college degree or ‘career’, then they are really not worthy. Even if you’re in touch with your femininity, it is easy to fall in to this trap.

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Well, firstly, even though I spent 6 years at University studying, my feeling is that it is not necessary to go to university or college. In fact, I think it’s time for everyone to re-consider university or college and think FIRSTLY about their passion. Not that you shouldn’t go to college per se. It’s just that, from personal experience, I prefer I got an education than went to university.

I would like to just say one thing that I’d like you to keep in mind whilst reading this article: Our culture is changing (more on this below). You no longer have to get a 9-5 job to make money (you didn’t have to to start with). Since my second year of university, I’ve been educating myself financially (something they don’t teach you in school which I think is just plain cruel), and I have found that a woman can live out her life purpose; her number one passion and feed herself through it if she so desires.

The kind of platforms we have available to us today through the internet makes this entirely possible. Now, ANYONE can be heard if they want to be. ANY woman can pursue and express her passion and transfer it to others; if she uses what is available to her.

So here’s my very first question to you: do you LOVE what you do? Are you passionate about it? If you were given 1 hour on a stopwatch to talk about something, what would it be? Do you love waking up on a Monday morning, or do you constantly wish it was Friday evening?

Now, I am aware that not all of my readers have a full time (or even part-time or casual job). Many are amazing housewives/stay-at-home moms. I think this is superb. But, even stay-at-home moms often get to a point where they want to do something for themselves, or to engage in a passion, or to contribute/develop a vision. We all want fulfillment, and my feeling is that most of us really are lacking deep fulfillment. (read my article about a desperate housewife – how can she save her marriage?)

Should a feminine woman let her man make the money?

Today, it’s very difficult for families to survive on just one income. Everything just keeps getting more expensive, doesn’t it? But, that still doesn’t mean that a woman has to go out and work. My feeling is that a woman should feel entirely OK with it if her man is the sole ‘breadwinner’. But ONLY if she is being the WOMAN in the relationship. And that in itself (being the woman), is hard enough for most women these days. (read my article about why men do not want to marry)

It’s entirely possible (very possible) for a woman to use her femininity to propel her man to greater heights. The corporate world is a very, very masculine environment. And it’s not that I think women are incapable. Hell, no! Women are extremely talented and capable. We can do anything we want to do and commit to doing.

But. The question is: will you working truly benefit you and your relationship? And, will it truly fulfill you as a woman? Do you feel that your radiance is drained out of you through your work; or does it light you up like a Christmas tree? Does it excite you and get your juices flowing? It doesn’t matter what we achieve, no matter how much recognition, significance, love, acceptance and success we achieve – nothing is ever going to give us more happiness and fulfillment than intimate relationship. Funny, relationships are arguably the hardest thing to master in life. 🙂

If you feel or know that your job decreases your radiance as a woman – and you know it’s not your passion, it’s time to find an alternative. You must be true to yourself. There’s plenty of space for EVERY woman to live her passion.

Does getting a job or working decrease a woman’s Femininity?

Working does not HAVE to decrease a woman’s femininity. It depends on the job and whether she’s passionate about it or not. In all honesty though, many jobs out there require well-developed masculine energy. And, it’s fine for a woman to pursue these jobs. When in this kind of environment, a woman will mostly be in her masculine. She’ll be in problem solving mode, conquering mode, and trying to get the next thing done and the next thing done. Most jobs and industries are also very competitive. Your femininity will not come to life in competition. 

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The most important thing is that a woman allows herself to be in her feminine in relationship. Regardless of your occupation (whether 9-5 or not), as long as you’re the woman in the relationship; it doesn’t matter. But this is hard enough in itself. If your job is stressful, you may find it difficult to even have the energy to be the woman, to go back to your true core, and to even bother showing up in your feminine core in relationship at the end of the day. (read my article about how to be feminine)

For many women, work decreases their radiance to a point of no return. They don’t know how else to be. But it doesn’t mean you have to be this kind of woman. Every woman needs the ability to tap in to the masculine if she so wishes or when it is required.

“If you don’t contribute beyond yourself, you get eliminated.”

All this job talk aside; true fulfillment will come from what you give to others, as well as how much you are willing to grow. For most, it’s hard to choose the path that gives you the most growth. Many people settle instead. This is a big no-no. Don’t settle! Settling gets you pain.

As per the written statement above; if you don’t contribute beyond yourself, you get eliminated. THIS is the law of the universe. You cannot be all about you. This is what babies are. Needless to say, many people are still very egocentric. This is what society has taught us to do. The very psychology of focusing on something other than ourselves is hard to understand and master.

Elimination doesn’t have to be in the form of death. Elimination can be in the form of alienation, becoming degenerate, remaining mediocre, and being a hermit/lonely. I have to say though, that I’ve never met a person who hasn’t felt lonely, even periodically. But it’s the kind of loneliness that entails not being remembered at all. Almost invisible. Having no influence whatsoever. (read my article about the secret to eliminating female competition)

And, in my view, if you are in a job/position/place in your life where you are doing something that you’re not TRULY passionate about (which is true for almost everybody); you need to change this. You will not be presenting your true self, as a gift to all the world and as a woman, if you are doing something that makes you feel crappy!!!

Where does true fulfillment come from?

I apologize if simplicity bothers you, but true fulfillment comes from growth and contribution.  What this means is that you have to be asking yourself questions like this:

“How can I reach inside myself to find better ways to contribute to others to help them take their lives to the next level?”

“How can I live my true passion; and thus deliver my full and real authentic self as a gift to all the world?”

“How can I deliver my REAL passion to the masses?”

“How can I be an example of love, courage, acceptance, passion, [insert your own adjectives here] in my life?”

“How can I give to others in a way that will be received?”

“How can I love and contribute even more in this very moment?”

“How can I be even more resourceful in my life?”

“What would it take to contribute even more to the lives of others?”

If (like the majority of people), your current job or position limits your ability to express your true voice and passion, gives you less time to make memories with your kids and family than your heart desires, puts a ceiling on your income, controls your time, money, whereabouts, who you spend your time with as well as when and how – then my feeling is that there is more for you.

You can contribute in many, many ways. I’m not just talking about doing voluntary work. So, right now, please answer these questions (preferably write down the answers somewhere, now):

What do I LOVE?

What do I HATE?

What am I passionate about?

What do I really want?

WHY do I really  want these things?

List down as many things as possible. The more you list down, the clearer the picture you see. Most people do not think consciously about these things, and that’s why you need to do it. 🙂

More importantly, please answer this question honestly:

“If I had ALL the money in the world (money is no object), what would I do?”

And you may say, well, “I’d pay off all my bills, debts and my mortgage”. Then what? I’d travel. Then what? Then I’d like, shop ‘n stuff. Then what? “Buy my parents a new house”. Then what? “Buy a new house for myself and my family.Then what? “I’d buy a new house overseas”. “I’d get that designer gear I always wanted. I’d start a new website, I’d pursue dancing.” Then what? “I’d have kids.”

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OK…….Then what?! You know what I’m getting at here. Pretty much anything you ‘get’, ‘have’, ‘posess’, ‘own’ or achieve in life is ephemeral. This is why, the people who first landed on the moon were over the moon. Going to the moon is pretty amazing, right?? But, the problem was, when they returned, they fell deep in to depression! They didn’t have a clue what to do NEXT!!!?

So it’s like, I’ve been to the moon, and what now? What tops going to the MOON?!

This is why every woman needs to have a passion, and live it. Fulfillment will come from what you know you have left behind when you pass. From the memories you create. From who you became.

What I want for you is to find true fulfillment. Many women think their children are their mission, and whilst children are a major part of a woman’s real legacy, and I don’t doubt that any woman has an unconditional love for her child; children will grow up and have their own lives.

So here is what I suggest:

Find a mission that is bigger than you. It has to be outside of yourself.

Answer the above questions that I have asked you. And then begin living your passion (if you aren’t already). You may start a blog on it (the internet is an incredibly powerful platform through which to transfer your passion to others; and blogging is one of the best mediums), you may start a video tutorial series on youtube or an online tv show, you could start your own group, or do anything that entails you living your passion.

And remember it’s not what you GET in life (whether that be recognition, acknowledgement, money, status, wealth, opportunity) it’s who you become.

Over to you now. Do you think working decreases a woman’s femininity? What is your passion?  Do you have any advice for other women who may feel lost in their life or don’t know what to do? if you had all the money in the world, what would you be doing?

By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.


P.S. Connect with me on social media

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why is it wrong a make your life about your husband and children renee?

yeah kids have their own lives eventually, but then they get married and have kids and now you’re a grandma and still have that purpose! just bc a child grows up doesnt mean a mother isnt still a mother! children will always need their parent even when their adults for advice, guidance, love. you seem to have a feminist point of view in this article on just wanting to be a mother and wife and just being happy doing that.

Frances V
Frances V
Reply to  Marie

I think what she meant was that yes be a mother to your children but do not forget that you are a still woman. They are mothers that give up everything for their children for over 18 years and then when their children grow up and get a life of their own, they go through an empty nest syndrome. If they have a partner they will continue on with their life but if they don’t they will go back to loneliness and find no purpose in their life again before kids. It’s important to have balance. At the end, you… Read more »

Tanya Rachel Wieczorek
Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

What if you just honestly don’t have the money to start living your passion (let alone “ALL the money in the world”?) What if you also have health issues that affect your energy levels and simply can’t do exactly what you want every day? For me my answer is something I’ve known for years I’d love to do if I had unlimited money: I’d love to start one of those therapeutic riding centres for autistic and handicapped children (I’m on the Spectrum myself). I love horses and I’d be helping autistic and disabled kids learn to ride, best of both… Read more »


I LOVE this article!!!!! I was laid off last year and have had the opportunity to indulge in self discovery & self employment. I love the flexibility and pace however It has not been easy financially and it’s been devastating for everyone around me. They are so used to seeing me working and supporting myself. In this time I’ve had to rely on my man & others much more whereas before we used to help each other and buy each other nice gifts. He recently expressed that he wants to go further in relationship (move in & marriage) however he… Read more »


Omg Renee I totally love this one! You totally knocked me dead with this one; it’s blew the socks off my feeties kind of effect, lol 🙂 Actually I’m in part.state of arousal because I can feel my internal working at a faster rate as if I’m all ready to go out and have some sort of erratic moment. Yes, I feel all excited now like I have a million and one things.just dieing to come out. Tbh, whatever my sexual essence, I’m a really big thinker, such as I feel from such an expansive world veiw, laced with intricacie,… Read more »


The only unfortunate thing I can think of about this is that most men want their wives/girlfriends to work. Everyone I talk to tells me this. Even if she can’t make much money, even if he makes tons of money. Even if the daycare charges almost her entire wage. I think its because feminism in the 70’s. There was this huge push for equal rights and freedom for women. Those boys raised by their mothers were taught that that was the way. These boys are now men and think they are doing right when pushing their wives to go out… Read more »




My husband has been asking me repeatedly for my 5 and 10 year goals. He is driven strongly by “callings”, destinies, measurable success, etc. I thought about it at length, even thought there was something really wrong with me because I didn’t have a checklist of life goals. Then I found this blog and Melina’s blog— thank you ladies!!! I realized that my man is like a river- rushing towards a destination, wending his way through valleys, over waterfalls. And I am right there with him. Only, I have no destination in mind: I am like the way the water… Read more »

Reply to  Ellie

you write such a beautiful comment here, Ellie. so much love it!

Ms Summer

Passion for something was exactly what my life had lacked;) I thought it to be art but i don’t feel as happy with it as I used to… So, tomorrow I am going to start a distance learning course in Social Sciences, which I look really really forward to as I am interested in psychology but did not want the formality of uni – this way I am feeling I am learning for myself and not for a degree.


I love this blog! You express everything I want in a woman. Perfectly! You are doing a great job!

Mildred Tav
Mildred Tav

wao today was my first day on this page and is amazing all the good things you can read on it, and how important are they in your life, is interesting because couple of days ago my husband ask me, my love what is you passion?, and I went blank, I have 3 girls and I’m a stay home mom, I have my hands pretty full, but inside me I’m always looking for something that really makes me happy and I haven’t found it, a mean don’t get me wrong I love my family and I really care for them,… Read more »


What’s the purpose of women who don’t want to be married? What about gay women?

Carlyn Yarbrough

What is the purpose of a woman??? Our purpose here is one of the highest positions given to an human! We are to be a help meet to our husbands! Maybe we have lost site of what that really is! It is not a belittling job…but an great responsibility! Especially when the right man is given to you! You, he will depend on to help him, to share with him, to bear his children and to raise them to return back to God! Now that position is a position higher than the angles in heaven! You shape lives, you comfort,… Read more »


As old as this post is,Carlyn 🙂 I have to express that I disagree with a lot of what is stated here. A woman’s purpose is more than being a “helpmeet” to her husband. And I’m glad that this blog post of Renee’s highlights this. Women are often taught if they don’t devote themselves to finding a man, they’ll be doomed to a life of loneliness and shame, even now. This pressure is what actually sabotages a lot of women in finding relationships when they want one. It has the effect on me. Men also don’t wan to feel that… Read more »


Hugs to you too, P. Love you.

And Jennifer – thanks for that. I love: “recognising when we feel empty is one key.” 🙂 very true and probably the most important point.

Most people fill up the emptiness with junk, at least at some point in their lives. I am no exception.


ps) and i like the picture with the animals …



Hello! Just a little hug to u from me 🙂
growth is so important to me …


Recognising when we feel empty is one key. Then to identify the cause or causes in another! No matter what it takes to bring in, or eliminate, be courageous and give it a go! If it feels right, re-aligns you and gives you inner joy that makes people ask you questions as to why you look so well or so happy – then maybe you have given yourself a gift! Look to how your body responds, how your eyes and skin look – are you optimistic? The simplest factors can make all the difference – we tend to over-complicate things… Read more »

Ms Summer

Oh thank you Renee for all your encouragement!


Ms Summer: You have just made my day. Your blog looks lovely! I’m so happy to hear you’re going to share your passion with the world. If you need anything – any thoughts, opinions from yours truly – you’re welcome to ask. Please keep posting. 🙂 Love and blessings.


Ms Summer

So, I digged into my life and searched for a passion that would make me more feminine… and I re-discovered my interest in art which I used to do in college. And, so that I am not again tempted to give it up because it is so time-consuming, I decided to make it public and started a blog about art! Thanks Renee for that idea 🙂


Thanks lovely Amara!

@Oli! WOW. What an incredible quote. I love it. Thanks for sharing that. 🙂


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